03x03 - Sugar Frosted Frights/Ed is Dead

[bunniefuu]

Rocko's modern lifeep.

[Buzzing]

[Rattling]

♪ Rocko's modern life

Rocko's modern life.

♪ Rocko's modern life

Rocko's modern life.

[Whistling and buzzing]

[Splat!]

[Screaming]

♪ Rocko's modern life.

Rocko's modern life.

That was a hoot!

[Ominous laughter]

[Door creaking]

This is a tale of madness

Of wicked evil, of dark and foreboding shadows

That will chill you to the bone.

Ow!

[Striking match]

This is the terrible tale

Of the hopping hessian.

Boo!

[Screaming]

Well, as you can see

Everything's very scary here on halloween eve in o-town.

Back to you, frank.

[Laughing]: thank you, clark.

Again, I'd like to thank

Dr. Hutchison for coming by with safety tips

For all the little boys and ghouls.

From all of us at o-town action news

Have a happy halloween.

Watch out for the hopping henchman

When he comes searching for his missing leg.

[Whispering]

How's that?

Oh, hessian, rather.

Hopping hessian, uh, heh, uh-hessian.

Ready?

Wow.

It's inflatable.

Cool.

Where's your costume?

Ah.

Lights, please.

Rocko...

Beware the hopping hessian.

Whoo...

Whoo...

Scary.

Whoo...

Whoo...

I'll save you, ma'am.

Spooky.

You go first.

No, heffer.

You're the superhero.

Heffer.

Heffer, my costume.

[Crashing]

F-f-filburt?

We can see you, filburt.

Over there, look.

Filburt?

Please go away.

Filburt, what's the matter?

Leave me alone.

They're coming to get you, filburt.

They're coming to eat your...

Your head!

[Screaming]

[Laughing nervously]

Both: he's a turtle.

Nobody's home.

Come on out, fil.

We're all friends here.

[Screaming]

Pain.

Fil, are you coming out of there or what?

Ooh.

Cool.

Um...

Will I ever find true love?

Okay, I'm out, knock it off.

Why do you always make such a big deal

About going out for halloween?

I'm sorry, fellas.

It all goes back to my childhood

And my crazy aunt gretchen.

All: crazy aunt gretchen.

Filburt: when I was just a shell-boy

My parents loved to go to parties on halloween night.

Which was fine, except...

Every year, they would leave me alone with...

Crazy aunt gretchen.

[Chattering]

She was raised in an aquarium

But refused to ever come out.

So she grew into it.

She hated halloween.

And all night she told me terrifying stories.

But the worst thing she told me

Was that candy was poison

And if I even touched one piece

The hopping hessian would come and take me away.

[Screaming]

And that's why I'm afraid of halloween.

Very scary.

I'll say. Let's go.

Oh, no, I won't do it.

Heffer: oh, yes, you will.

Filburt: oh, no, I won't.

Rocko: I'll protect you, filburt.

Filburt: no, you won't.

Now, filburt, it's very easy.

Stay back

And watch howwedo it.

You ring the bell and...

Free goodies.

Trick or treat.

Well, aren'twescary?

Wait a minute.

You've been here already.

What? No, I haven't.

Oh, yes, you have.

But i...

Shame on you.

You went out already?

No, she's crazy.

[Whistling]

It usually goes better than that.

[Doorbell ringing]

Rocko and heffer: trick or treat.

Well, well, ain't this a fine thing?

Oh, let's see.

I believe I might have

Some goodies offscreen here.

Goodies.

Oh, now, now, now, don't crowd, don't crowd, just...

[Clanging]

Score.

Rocko, you have something in your eye.

What is it?

It's your first piece of halloween candy.

You eat it.

Go on.

[Gulping]

Mmm... Oh...

[Gulping]

Tasty, eh?

Rocko and heffer: filburt, what's wrong with you?

Help me...

Eee...

Va-room, va-room.

Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom...

Ooh, aren't you cute?

What are you supposed to be?

Give me the bowl.

Oh, no, no, no.

We must say "trick or treat."

Give me that plastic bowl.

What?

Pennies?

Are you insane?

I need sweets.

Licorice whips and bubble gum.

Caramel popcorn and wax lips.

Oh...

Get out of my way.

Sorry, ma'am.

We'll get him.

Filburt, what are you doing?

Now, just take it easy, fil.

We just want to help you.

Stay back, poodle boy.

This is mysugar.

Sugar...

Mmm...

[Orchestra playing "night on bald mountain"]

[Cackling]

Rocko: filburt, come back.

Candy, candy, candy, candy.

Gumdrop, gumdrop, gumdrop, gumdrop.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

Heffer: filburt!

There he goes, past the old foto hut.

Rocko, no.

We can't go past the old foto hut.

It's the place

Where the hopping hessian lost his leg.

Filburt doesn't know that.

We got to go after him.

There he is.

Oh, no.

Filburt...

Filburt.

Filburt, speak to me.

Oh...

Hef, give me a hand.

[Panting]

Come on, fil, get up.

Oh, rocko.

I'll never eat another treat

As long as I live.

Crazy aunt gretchen was right.

Shh, that's okay, filburt.

Come on.

Filburt: where are we?

Heffer: deep, deep in the black woods

Near the cemetery beyond the old foto hut.

Heffer!

I no longer care.

[Twig snapping]

Rocko and heffer: what was that?

Aw, just a twig snapping.

[Laughing]

Wait up, filburt.

Look, there's the old foto hut.

Hey, look behind you.

[Laughing ominously]

All: the hopping hessian!

Run!

Oh...

Run, filburt, run.

I'm sorry, aunt gretchen.

I'm sorry.

Boohoo.

Rocko: hurry, filburt, almost there.

[Screaming]

He's got a leg!

That was madness.

Horrible.

But that is not the end of our story.

Oh, no.

Ah...

What a beautiful evening.

Boy-- oh, boy.

Yes, you, the smart one.

Could you tell me, young man, what night this is?

It's halloween, for pete's sake.

Halloween night.

Then I haven't missed it.

Happy halloween, fellas.

[All laughing]

Hey, filburt.

[Gasping]

Hey, there's you, gordon.

There I go.

Rocko: oop, there we go into the creek.

Heffer: wow, good one of you, hessian.

Scary.

Very scary.

Gordon: boy, you guys sure were scared.

Rocko: heffer.

[Laughing]

Hurdy gurdy.

I'm not certain I understand what's going on here.

Last year's halloween photos.

Oh.

Sit down. There's some great ones of you.

So you and the hopping hessian

Served together in the revolutionary w*r?

Yes.

Um, actually, he's a friend of a friend.

Helped me move a couple of years back.

I like to help him out.

Oh, for pete's sake, look at the time.

Hey, hops, we got to get up to the old foto hut.

My gosh, it is late.

Come on, hef, we got some trick or treating to do.

Right on.

[Door opening]

Happy halloween.

See you later, nits.

Just a gosh-darn minute.

Who... Took... Those... Pictures?

[Thunder booming]

[Alfred hitchcock theme music playing]

[Chomping]

What? Oh!

Um...

[Imitating alfred hitchcock]: good evening

[Inhaling deeply]

Tonight's selection

Is a chilling tale of mayhem, shrubbery

And a wallaby who knew too much.

[Inhaling deeply]

So without further ado, we bring you...

Just a second.

[Curtain clinking]

"Ed is dead."

Don't hack them to death

Just trim them.

You're pushing it, ed.

Boy, the bigheads are really

Going at it, today, eh, spunky?

Just trim them, just trim them

Ooh! I'll trim you.

Duh!

You'd like that, wouldn't you?

What I'd like

Is for you to do some work, you lazy toad!

Now, you know I shouldn't push myself.

I'll push you!

But my condition...

Oh, what condition?

It's just a wart.

Shh! Do you want the neighbors to hear?

[Laughing]

What are you looking at?

Okay, spunky.

This time, you fetch the ball.

Oops!

Get the ball, boy.

Get the ball.

I worry about you, spunky.

[Gasps]

Oh, why, rocko, you naughty boy.

Hello, mrs. Bighead.

I was just getting my ball.

Bev, quit picking up the neighbors.

Those salmon bushes won't trim themselves.

[Laughing]

Quit looking at my butt.

Oh, don't worry about him.

He's just cranky.

Soon, everything will be taken care of.

Bev?!

If I have to take care of it myself.

[Choking]

Mrs. Bighead...

Oh, sorry, dear.

Beverly!

Yes, precious!

[Shears clinking]

Uh, I'd better be going.

[Snoring]

Mr. Bighead: stop it! No, no!

No!

Mrs. Bighead: oh, shut up and sit still.

Mr. Bighead: no! What are you doing?

Put that down, bev.

[Mushy pounding]

[Crashes]

Mrs. Bighead: oh, what a mess!

Eh, I'll get it tomorrow.

[Vulture squawking]

A dream.

I-it was just a bad dream.

[Yelping playfully]

[Shouting]

Sure is quiet at the bigheads' today.

[Squawks]

I'll go see if everything is okay next door.

[Squawks]

[Wind whistling]

[Gasps]

It's mrs. Bighead.

What's she digging?

That hole looks just like mr. Bighead.

Oh, too bad

But you just didn't turn out like I wanted.

So out you go!

[Mushy thud]

[Whistling]

I wonder what mrs. Bighead has in the suitcase.

[Car engine starting]

Hello?

Mr. Bighead?

Are you home?

[Voice echoes]: mr. Bighead?

Are you up there?

Mr. Bighead?

Hello?

Mr. Bighead?

That's odd.

[Gasping]

[Tires squealing]

[Keys jingling]

[Stairs creaking]

[Rocko gasps]

Mr. Bighead?

Mr. Bighead, are you all right?

[Screaming]

[Growling]

[Punching, grunting]

[Panting]

Rocko, what a nice surprise!

Would you like to join me for dinner?

Ed won't be here.

[Screaming]

[Wolf howling]

[Thunder booming]

The horror...

The horror...

[Maniacal laughter]

[Mr. Bighead's voice echoing]: no!

She did it.

I know she did it.

Spunky.

[Barking]

Spunky, no.

Spunky!

What is it, spunky?

What's wrong, boy?

What are you looking at?

[Screaming]

M-m-mrs. Bighead.

I know about mr. Bighead, mrs. Bighead.

What? You do?

But how?

I have eyes, you know.

I have ears.

You left a trail of clues.

What was in that suitcase?

I was going to the dry cleaners, why?

Ah-ha!, And trying to hide those tools in your bed.

We like sleeping on power tools, very therapeutic.

But the hedge, it says, "k*ll ed."

Rocko: squinky?

What the...

But i...

Oh, it just must be your imagination, dear.

[Laughing nervously]

What about that ed-shaped hole you tossed those bags into?

Ed-shaped hole?!

Look at my shovel.

Anniversary gift.

But I saw you attacking him through the window.

Attacking him?

Oh, that!

Put it down, bev.

No, you can't!

Mrs. Bighead: I was working on a meatloaf sculpture of ed

For art class.

Shut up and sit still!

[Ed panting and gasping]

[Yelping]

No, this isn't going to work.

[Mushy thud]

Oh, what a mess!

Eh, I'll get it in the morning.

Okay... Then where is mr. Bighead?

No one's supposed to know.

Please, mrs. Bighead...

I have a little dog.

Mr. Bighead: what?

Four dollars and cents?

That's robbery.

You going to k*ll me, too?

Here's five bucks.

Hey, that wasn't a tip, you punk.

Mr. Bighead!

He's not dead.

Oh, of course he's not dead.

You don't die from wart removal.

What a horrible thing to say.

Eddie!

Eddie, darling, you're home.

[Groans]

Ow!

Did the nice doctor-woctor make the mean old wart

Go away from our bumsie-wumsie?

You're k*lling me, bev.

It sure is good to have you back, mr. Bighead.

Bev, you told him!

No, I did not tell anyone, ed.

I can't trust you, bev.

You have got a big mouth!

I won't tell anyone you had your tonsils taken out.

It's nothing to be ashamed of anyway.

What's that?!

Oh, why, yes, thank you.

Oh, you're a good boy, rocko.

Get off me, bev.

I tell you, it was this big!

Well, I guess we really can't believe

Everything we see, eh, spunky?

Ed!

Ed, what are you doing?

You thought I was kidding, eh?

Stop it, ed.

Stop it, you're scaring me.

Stop it?

I'm not going to stop until I'm through.

Oh, oh, you beast!

[Smacking kiss]