02x09 - Born To Spawn/Uniform Behavior

[bunniefuu]

(Buzzing )

(Rattling )

♪ Rocko's modern life ♪

Rocko's modern life.

♪ Rocko's modern life ♪

Rocko's modern life.

(Whistling and buzzing )

(Splat! )

(Screaming )

♪ Rocko's modern life. ♪

Rocko's modern life.

That was a hoot!

(Dramatic music )

Huh, what's that?

Who's there?

Ooh, I'm so itchy.

Mmm.

Ah.

Looks great, heff.

Filburt will love it.

And now the final ingredient

To complete heffer's superstack pineapple cake.

Teriyaki sauce!

I can't believe filburt's going to be years old.

He must be psyched.

(Cries of pain )

Oh, oh, ouch!

I feel so strange.

Everything itches, even my teeth.

(Squeaking )

(Bubbling )

(Pop )

Oh, fish sticks!

Rocko and heffer are expecting me to show my slides.

And I've got this embarrassing blemish.

Isn't that enough sauce?

Filburt should be here any minute.

Do not underestimate the power of the sauce.

(Doorbell rings )

That must be filburt.

Places, everyone.

(Cans falling ) ouch, oof.

Stand over there.

What do we say again?

Shh.

Surprise!surprise!

(Shrieks )

Happy birthday, filburt.

Huh?

Feliz cumpleanos, compadre.

Wha...?

(Barking )

(Gasps )

Both: make a wish and blow out the candles.

(Moans )

(Screams )

(Screams )

Ah!

I'd say he's enjoying the cake, heff.

(Screaming and moaning )

What's the matter, filburt?

It's... It's... It's...

Kerrplopitgoes island--

My birthplace.

(Whistling wind and thunder )

Oh, boy, it's happening.

What's happening?

Every turtle, upon reaching its st birthday

Must migrate back to its birthplace

In order to become an...

Gulp... Adult.

You guys got to help me.

I don't want to be an adult.

I've heard horrible stories about bran

And strange undergarments.

Don't go, then.

You don't understand.

The forces of nature are making me go.

It's ingrained in our skulls.

(Gulps )

Hey.

Will you look at that.

Heff.

No matter what I say or do

Don't let me leave this house.

Rocko: you can count on us, fil.

Okay, everyone, let's get those buns in shape.

Let's move it with bunmaster.

And a one and a two

And a one and a two...

(Rings )

Hello?

I have a collect call of the wild for filburt turtle.

Do you accept the charges?

Yeah, he's here.

Hey, filburt!

It's for you.

Hello?

(Dramatic music )

(Shrieks )

Hey, guys, watching tv, eh?

I left my slides of hawaii at home.

Maybe I should go over and get 'em

Before the postman comes

'Cause he always breaks the screen door

When he puts the mail in the slot.

I'll be right back.

I don't think you should be leaving.

Just to be safe...

For your own good.

It's so hot.

It's so stuffy in here.

Come sit down and relax.

Uh, oh, no, I got to go to the bathroom.

(Crashing and rattling )

Ahem.

(Imitating rocko ): ah... He-he-heff, I can't find my keys, mate.

Can I borrow yours?

Yeah, sure, don't lose 'em.

No problem, mate.

See you.

See you.

You seen my keys, heff?

I can't seem to find them.

I just gave you mine.

Don't be silly. You didn't.

(Car ignition )

Free, I'm free.

Going to kerrplopitgoes.

Come on, start, you piece of trash!

Give it a little gas.

Thanks.

Rock and I got to go run some errands.

We'll be gone for a bit.

In the meantime, you can watch a little tv.

You see it okay?

Come on, heff. See you, fil.

Let's move it.

And a one and a two

And a one and a two...

(Yapping slurps )

Spunky.

Spunky!

Here, boy, come to your uncle filburt.

That's it, thataboy.

You love your uncle filburt, don't you, boy?

Yeah.

You'd help uncle filburt get to kerrplopitgoes island?

Yes... Well, listen up, you need to go to the garage.

On the right wall you'll find an acetylene torch.

Thank you, come again.

We interrupt our scheduled program

To give you this o-town special report.

A crazed turtle has just h*jacked

A jolly robert seafood restaurant.

Both: what the...?

Witnesses say the alleged turtle screamed

"Fish sticks, fish sticks"

As he forced patrons out the door to safety.

It was awful, awful.

He was crazy!

Tartar sauce everywhere.

Craziest turtle I ever seen!

"Fish sticks, fish sticks!" Ahh!

Filburt!filburt!

(Gas hissing )

He's gone.

How did he escape?

(Panting )

We're just going to have to go get him.

But where?

There!

Kerrplopitgoes island.

(Horn blasts )

(Whistle toots )

Wha...?

Rocko, wake up.

Huh?

"Welcome to club spawn"?

Heff: should we go in?

He's in here somewhere.

(General conversation and disco b*at )

Heff: cool!

Hot tub.

Hey, guys.

Guys, it's me.

Hey...

Hey, it's me, guys.

See?

Filburt? Filburt?

Shh, everyone here knows me as steve.

Um, uh, your thing--

It's, uh...

Oh, jeez.

So what's happening?

Filburt, I mean steve, we've come to rescue you

From the clutches of mother nature, remember?

Rescue you from adulthood and take you back to o-town.

(Laughs )

O-town?

O-town?

More like boretown, know what I mean?

Steve!

Steve!

We're ready for you to teach the hustle.

Be right there, mario.

Guys, I'd love to chat but I got to boogie.

I'm staying at club spawn-- being an adult is great.

Oh, if you guys are going to hang around

Put on some spandex threads, if you know what I mean.

Ahwhoo!

(Bawling )

I know how you feel.

We've just lost filburt to kerrplopitgoes island.

I don'town any spandex!

♪ Keep on dancing, keep right on dancing... ♪

I miss him already, rocko.

Come on, heff.

There's nothing more we can do here.

The forces of nature are greater than we.

I'm really going to miss him, rocko.

What the...?

I must have gained a little weight since we've been here.

(Boat horns )

What's going on?

Looks like they're all leaving.

You mean they're finished?

Yep.

Filburt! Filburt!

The party's over.

Time to go home.

My work here is done.

Blazes, filburt, you had us worried there.

We thought we lost you.

You'll never lose me, old buddies.

I belong with you!

In other news, the jolly robert

Was mysteriously returned to o-town marina.

Only a few cases of fish sticks were discovered missing.

Sure is nice to have you back.

Thanks.

I guess becoming an adult

Wasn't so bad after all.

Sorry I was such a problem.

Aw, don't worry about it.

Nature's urges make us a little crazy at times.

I'm just glad it's over.

Right, heff?

Heff?

(Bellowing ): moo-oo-oo!

(Gibberish )

Announcer: coming soon,robofrog iv-- this time everyone gets hurt...

Real bad.

Ribbit.

Aw, cool.

Oh, no, I'm out of food.

Guess I got to go to the store.

Let's see, seatbelt, seatbelt...

Oh, yeah, here we go.

(Groans )

Ah, they're for sissies anyway.

(Mechanical squawk )

(Clang )

Man, I can't stand dad's music.

(Plays rock and roll on car radio )

(Screams )

That's a pretty big chicken.

Good thing you got a t*nk's body.

But that car didn't fare well when you went through it.

Why weren't you wearing your seatbelt?!

Now, dear, let's not lose our temper.

You're not going to coddle him.

He has to pay for the repairs.

Me?

On my allowance?

No, I guess you couldn't on your allowance.

Get a job!

No, dad, not that.

Please!

Don't make me chew your hands off.

Darn!

Nope.

I've got plenty of experience doing practically nothing.

I'll do it.

One security guard application, please.

So you want to be a guard, do you?

Think you can hack it, doughboy?

What's there to hack?

Stare at a tv, nibble at a donut or two?

Tsk, tsk, tsk, just like the rest.

Boy, do you have a lot to learn.

(Owl hooting )

Wow!

Who are you guys?

We are the five udder...

Seven!

Oh, yeah, seven udders of justice.

What did I do?

What do you want?

A vow!

A promise, you bonehead, that you uphold

The honor and sanctity of this blessed security guard uniform

And shall henceforth send all who offend thee and the law

Straight to their destruction.

You got it?

Um...

Look, you're the law--

You bring evildoers to swift justice.

Without mercy.

Wow!

Okay, I got it now.

I'm like a robofrog.

Yes. Yes.

I swear to bring justice to all who are asking for it

In order to satisfy the five...

Seven!

...seven udders of justice

And my own craving for power and authority.

Right, let's get out of here.

Ooh!

Rest easy, o-town.

I, heffer, shall protect and serve thee.

(Footsteps echo loudly )

Hold it right there, mister.

Oh, hi, heffer.

How are you?

Loitering, huh, pal?

Let's see some i.d.

Heffer, you know me.

I don't have any i.d. With me.

Are you feeling lucky tonight, punk?

See this?

This says I'm the law, and if I want your i.d.

You give me your i.d., Right?

Assume the position.

I'll just confiscate this till we determine

Who you really are.

The question is who are you

And where is heffer?

I must be vigilant, ever watchful

On the lookout for suspicious creeps and weirdos.

Hey, heff, hang on.

Hey, buddy, where you going?

What's with the uniform?

You jaywalked.

Lucky they don't allow hanging in o-town.

Jaywalking?

Rocko, there's something wrong with heffer.

Yes, he is acting a bit strange.

(Screech )

You're here, there's your office!

Good luck, brother.

(Shrieking hysterically )

Some guys aren't fit to wear the uniform.

Yup, better get to it.

(Rusty hinge creaking )

(Splat )

Nothing's moving.

This job is actually kind of dull.

(Whistling )

(Clock chimes )

: Patrol.

Finally, some action.

Cool!

I am a fearless security machine.

(Imitates motorcycle engine )

This place is kind of creepy.

(Whistling )

(Metal clanging )

Somebody's in there.

Hold it!

Okay, let's see your i.d. Right now!

You stupid cow, what areyou doing here?

You want to give me a heart att*ck?

Hey, I'll ask the questions around here.

Um, what are you doing here and what's in that box?

I work here, you idiot.

Thesewere a couple of light bulbs.

Conglom-o light bulbs?

Yes, I needed one or two at home.

And why am I telling you anything?

Wow, I caught a burglar my first night.

They'll probably make me a captain or something.

Frog: I'm going to see to it that you are fired immediately.

Oh, you are a dead man-- dead!

I don't think so.

I'm the law!

This authority stuff is great.

Both: hello, heffer.

Hey, you two, let's see some i.d..

We work here.

You're trespassing-- I'm going to write you up.

We've always worked here.

(Shrieks )

Wow!

Ooh, I need a drink.

I'd give my soul for a soda.

What flavor, heffer?

Lloyd, I'll take a root beer float.

Uh, say, lloyd, I seem to be temporarily light here.

Oh, don't worry about it.

Your credit's fine.

Well, here's looking at you, lloyd.

(Slurping noisily )

(Fiendish laughter )

Who are they, lloyd?

Don't you recognize them?

Here's my i.d., Heffer--

I think that badge has gone to your head.

Power has corrupted you, heff.

Where do you get off giving me a lousy ticket?

Sorry, rock, I've been bad.

(Gasps )

Time to pay your bill.

(Screams )

(Screams )

Here's heffer!

(Maniacal laughter )

(Screams )

I don't want to be a guard anymore.

Aah!

Mommy!

(Screaming )

-, -, Naked cow in public.

(Siren wailing )

I feel naked and alone.

Heffer, there's someone here to see you.

Here you go.

Thank you.

You really did it this time.

What came over you?

Well, the seven udders of justice told me that...

That um...

I don't know.

Maybe my hat was on too tight.

There was something about that uniform

That made me feel big and important.

What it made you was a big jerk.

I'll have the guard let you out.

Thanks, man, you're the best.

Oh, can I borrow the money to fix my dad's car?

Never mind, officer, let him stay in there

For a while.

(Laughing ): rock, you're such a kidder.

(Door slams )

Rock, rocko?

Rocko!