01x09 - Keeping Up With the Bigheads / Skidmarks

[bunniefuu]

[Buzzing and chirping]

[Chuckling]

Good as new.

♪ Rocko's modern life

Rocko's modern life.

♪ Rocko's modern life

Rocko's modern life.

Spunky!

[Screaming]

♪ Rocko's modern life.

Rocko's modern life.

[Laughing]

That was a hoot!

Oh, boy, these new pest-o-matic range finder goggles

Sure were a good investment.

Nothing can escape me now.

Ah-ha!

[Gulp]

[Buzzing]

Another lazy, good-for-nothing

Free-loader ruining my winning masterpiece.

Parasites!

[Growls]

No! No!

[Bugs punching, burping and groaning]

Mr. Bighead: meet your new cellmate.

[Laughing]

Bighead! Your oppressive regime will fall.

We may be your prisoners now

But one day

We will have our chance to be free...

To stand like free men

In the cool breeze of freedom.

[Beeping]

Two more lazy leeches.

[Beeping becomes faster]

Mr. Bighead: how I'd like

To rid my life of their kind.

Ed...

That garden isn't the only thing

That needs attention.

Oh, I wish I had more of a garden to tend.

[Beeping]

What!

What! An intruder.

It's a weed from that cretinous

Good-for-nothing, pouch-belly's yard.

[Horns blasting]

Ah!

Mr. Bighead: I'll save you.

What's up with mr. Bighead?

Rocko: he's always got some chore

To do in his garden.

[Hollering]

Speaking of chores

What's next on our list?

Well, let's see.

Wake up, eat

Sunbathe while eating...

Next is tv and snacks.

[Loud banging on door]

Crikey, who could that be?

Hello, mr. Bighead.

Don't hello me, kangaroo boy.

Thesewere my prize begonias.

The life was strangled out of them

By your odious weed.

Your yard is a disgrace.

The entire house should be bulldozed

And hauled away as scrap.

There's nothing wrong

With this place.

We'll see about that.

I called my nephew, the o-town building inspector.

He'll be here at : tonight

To condemn this wretched excuse for a home.

But...

Too late for apologies, slacker.

You'll regret the day

You crossed hedge clippers

With ed bighead!

Remember! : P.m.

The clock is ticking.

[Breaks wind]

Rocko: what's got his knickers in a twist?

This place isn't so bad.

[Crows cawing]

I guess the old place

Could use some sprucing up.

Mr. Bighead: give up, you tapeworms

In the intestine of society.

You don't stand a chance.

Oh, yeah? Well...

Well, uh...

Oh, yeah?

Oh-ho! Witty retort.

Rocko: that's it!

Not only will this house not be condemned

It will be

The most beautiful in the neighborhood--

Even nicer than yours.

[Laughing heartily]

Oh, stop! Stop, I might wet myself.

[Water tinkling]

Oops.

Let's see what we've got to work with.

Oh, dear.

I'm afraid fate has squatted on us again.

Nonsense.

[Crashing]

We'll have to be creative.

Take this paint, for instance.

Not enough of one color

To do the whole house, but...

Mix it all together...

And... Presto!

[Liquid bubbling]

Yes, but it's sort of brown...

Or, or... Green.

We'll call it "breen."

I'm sure it'll look nice when it dries.

[Gulps]

[Belches]

[Spunky whimpers]

[Spunky whimpers]

[Laughing]

[Cackling]

[All cackling]

[Clucking]

[Crow cawing]

You know, heff, it seems odd

But this doesn't look different.

No argument here.

You are pathetic.

Ten minutes till inspection

And victory will soon be mine.

[Chortling]

Can't we do something

To make this place look better?

Could use a little landscaping.

[Clock ticking]

Nothing's growing.

What we need, rocko, is some...

[Loud munching]

...fertilizer!

[Gulps]

You got the sports page?

[Grunting]

[Grunting and groaning]

Oh, wow.

[Crashes]

[Spunky panting]

[Ground rumbling]

Heff, I think it's working.

I'm sorry, rocko.

I'm a fertilizer failure.

Ha! Your time is up.

The inspector will be here any second.

Victory is mine!

[Laughs triumphantly]

[Ground rumbles]

Both: what's that?

Move out!

[Yelling]

[Bugs buzzing like a chain saw]

Ed!

Gee, heff, it does look nicer

When it dries.

[Screeching]

[Birds chirping]

That's it!

Your time is up.

Can I get your signature?

You're darn right you can.

Anything to get rid of the bumpkins.

All right, boys, take it away.

Ed!

Just a minute, bev.

Mr. Bighead?

Groveling will get you nowhere, boy.

Ed! Ed!

♪ I'll be there in a minute, sugarplum. ♪

Get off my back, woman!

B-b-but, mr. Bighead.

[Mocking rocko:] b-b-but, mr. Bighead.

[Horn blows]

Bev!

Faster, ed, faster!

Run!

Put a move on it!

Poor mr. Bighead.

But the house looks nice.

A job well done.

With regular maintenance

We can keep it looking this nice

For a long time.

[Loud crashing]

We interrupt this broadcast

To bring you a special news bulletin.

Let's go live

To the o-town action news copter cam. Clark?

Police are in their fifth hour

Of a grueling low-speed chase

That shows little sign of ending.

This is great, eh, spunky?

Nobody out driving today.

It's like we own the road.

A guy and his dog, sharing the open highway.

Uh-oh.

The vehicle's coming to a halt

Ending one of the worst

Low-speed chases in the city's history.

The swat team is surrounding the car.

This is it, fran!

All right, we know you're in there.

You have ten seconds to come out.

One, two, three.

Nine.

Okay, okay, ten!

Step out of the car, please.

Gas cap's missing.

Get this worked out

With the department of motor vehicles.

They'll tell you

Where you can pick up your automobile.

Is that all?

Huh? Oh, sorry... Hit it, boys.

[Vaudeville music playing]

Weren't they great, folks?

[Laughs]

[Rings]

Hey, pedestrian, what's the matter?

Ain't you got no car?

Don't pay them any attention.

We'll get our car back.

Wait for me here.

I'll be out in just a minute, okay?

[Sighs]

Attention please, will the owner of a small dog

License number...

[Cash register rings]

One-three-five- seven-nine-zero

Come to the security desk.

No dogs in the building.

You'll have to tie him up outside.

[Panting]

Sorry, spunk, you've got to stay outside.

Don't worry, though.

I'll be back in a jiff.

[Sighs]

Next.

Hello, i...

Whoa, whoa.

I got to wait for the computer.

Do I look okay to you?

These screens are radioactive

And the plate in my head is vibrating.

Oops, I dropped my mouse.

Oh, boy. Hold on.

Can I help you?

I need a form for a missing gas ca...

Hold it, don't go crazy!

First, you have to take these forms

And get your eye test.

Hey! Hey! Hold on, you.

When you take the driver's test

[Whispering:] don't get the fat guy.

Female recorded voice: please sit in the doctor's chair.

Read the chart in front of you.

The doctor will be with you momentarily.

"E, z, g, h, j, p, m.

"The doctor is sneaking up behind you.

"He's a madman.

Get out while you still can!"

[Sinister chuckling]

[Screaming]

Hold it!

It's so much easier to examine your eyes this way.

Mm-hmm.

Um, how much longer do I have to hold this?

That's fine.

You can relax now.

Just need to check one more thing.

[Crashing]

Mm-hmm.

Supple and firm.

Good muscle tone.

Ah, youth.

Cough, please.

[Ticking]

[Coughs]

Okay, rocky, everything looks great.

Go ahead and take this with you

To room .

Good luck on your driving test, son.

Hope you don't get the fat guy.

[Doctor laughing maniacally]

Don't step on the white ones.

Hot lava.

Pineapples.

Oh, yes.

Would you excuse me?

Sorry, there.

Excuse me.

[Chuckles nervously]

♪ La, la, la

♪ La, la.

[Door slams]

[Coughs]

Silence!

You are here

Because you have abused your privileges as motorists

And have disgraced the name

Of the department

Of motor vehicles.

Now! I know some traffic schools

Where the students are allowed

To take their tests like intelligent human beings.

That's not the way we do things here!

As far as I'm concerned

You're all wild pigs!

I'ma wild pig.

Silence!

There will be no talking whatsoever.

I will not tolerate eating food of any kind.

Blowing your nose is

Strictly prohibited!

[Snorts and gulps]

Now let us begin by covering a few...

Basic!

Elements!

Of!

Driving!

But first, a film.

Who wants to run the projector?

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh- ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh!

You!

Come up here.

Can we roll the picture?

Oh, yes.

You will take notes

In order zat you will prepare yourself

For your driving test instructor.

And god help you if you get the fat guy!

Hi, kids.

Woo-hoo! Hey!

Let's talk about driving.

You know, driving a car can be fun. Woo!

But if you're like me-- whoop!

If you're like me, sometimes you forget the...

Hoo-hoo!

Let's get to our first lesson.

Everybody's favorite film.

[Cheering]

The automobile:

A means of transportation

Or a life-threatening speed casket?

You decide.

This is the prevention lab

Where they test for things

That are really cool.

Experts are assembling lifelike crash dummies

To test the effects of impact

Upon the driver and his passengers.

You may think this experiment silly.

Let me tell you something-- it's not!

Remember, this could be you and your family.

What you'll see is a graphic depiction.

And it gets kind of messy.

[Class groans in disgust]

[Retching]

Well, that was fun, eh? Hoo!

Remember, when that big, hairy driving test rolls around

Don't you dare forget the...

And don't get the fat guy.

Hoo-hoo! Hoo!

[Snoring]

What in the...

Rocko: "wait here for instructor."

Hmm.

[Imitating car engine]

Okay, get in.

[Gulps]

Fasten your safety belt, please.

Let's put her in gear and we'll begin.

I don't hear the engine.

Um... Vroom, vroom?

That a boy.

Easy, easy!

Instructor: okay.

Make an easy left here

And we'll head out into the test area.

Gently, now. Gently!

Watch it, pedestrian area.

Look out!

Um... Screech!

Um-hmm.

Let's continue, shall we?

Look out!

[Screeching]

[Cracking]

Ow!

Did you see that?

I saw it.

I'm a witness.

Oh, man.

That's a fracture.

I've seen 'em.

He came out of nowhere.

Didn't he see

The sign?

I hope you got insurance, pal

'Cause you're going to hear from my lawyer.

[Teeth chattering]

Here.

T-t-take it and g-g-go.

Hello.

I need my picture taken for my license.

Oh, you passed.

And I even got the fat guy.

Oh, that!

[Crying]

That's not the fat guy.

That'sthe fat guy.

[Loud stomping]

[Bubbling]

[Shrieking]

Let's see what we can do

About your picture, shall we?

Mmm, okay, okay.

Yeah, I'm inspired.

This will be fabulous.

That's it.

Go, honey, go.

Great! Looking good.

Yeah, yeah, perfect!

Perfect! I love this job.

Voila! Voila!

Wow! You twoareamazing.

Thanks.

I'm going to get my car.

Hello again.

I'm here to pick up my car.

Okay, all right.

Everything seems to be in order.

Can I see the replacement gas cap, please?

[Crowd gasps]

Rocko?

Yes.

All right, go ahead.

Yeah, yeah.

Here's your lousy gas cap.

Officer: what do we say?

I'm sorry.

[Crowd cheering]

Good luck, rocko.

Drive carefully.

That a boy, spunky.

[Barks]

Daddy, daddy.

Teacher says every time a gas cap is found

An angel gets its wings.

Your teacher's full of snot.

[Engine starts]

That was a lot of fun.

But moving violations

Are no laughing matter.

Thank you.

Well, that's it.