02x04 - Happily Ever After

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat song playing]

♪ Round and round we go ♪

♪ He is so fine ♪

♪ Round and round we go ♪

♪ He is so fine... ♪

[sighs]

[phone buzzing]

[Mkhize on phone, in Afrikaans]Tumiza.[/i]
I'm going to SMS you the address.[/i]

-[in English] Get here in minutes.
-[in Zulu] What address, sir?[/i]

[in English] I told you yesterday
the lioness must rest by the river

to catch the impala at sunbreak.

The sun has broken.

[in English, loudly] What are you...
[whispers] What are you on about?

[in Tswana]
Why are you always making a noise?

[in English] It's showtime, baby.

We must go
and teach those Twala boys a lesson!

[spluttering] Lesson?

Okay, lesson? Uh, okay.

[in Zulu] Please wait a minute.
[in English] What lesson? I am in no...

I am in no position to be teaching anybody
a lesson right now, okay?

[Mkhize, in Afrikaans]
Look, we started this,[/i]

so we must finish it.

Esther is waiting for us.

[in English] Tumiza, are you still there?

[in Zulu] Yes, sir.

[in English] Look, I...

I have bigger fish to fry
on my side. It's... [sighs]

Things are really turning around for me.
I... I should be here.

Okay, I won't wait long.

It's the only way
that plan is going to work.

We have to do it now.
[in Afrikaans][/i] Today.

-[in Zulu] Look, sir, I really...
-Bye.[/i]

[line disconnects]

[Tumi, in English]
Well, there's no turning back now.[/i]

-[knocking on door]
-[Khaya, in English] Hey, babe?

-Hey!
-[Khaya] Everything okay in there?

[spluttering] Yeah, babe.

Yeah.

Babe, I was thinking that maybe, you know,

we could go out for the day today.

-Just you and me.
-[phone buzzes]

-[upbeat music playing]
-[Tumi] Crematorium?[/i]

-[toothbrush clatters]
-[Tumi] Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God!

Hey, babe...

You know what, babe? I...

I'm not feeling well.

Yeah, I'm...
I'm not doing so well right here.

[inhales sharply]
You know what? I think it's, uh...

It's the sh*ts. Yeah.

Oh no. I'm gonna... I'm gonna need...

hot wings.

Okay. Okay. I'll see
if I can order them from room service.

-Okay?
-No!

-I mean, no...
-No?

-Imodium.
-Imodium?

[Tumi] Uh-huh.

[water gurgling]

[groans] Sorry.
It's... It's... It's coming out.

-Yeah, there it is, on both sides.
-Oh, okay.

Go!

-[Khaya] I'm gonna come back in ten...
-Yeah. Just go, please.

-Are you sure? Should I call a doctor?
-[Tumi] I love you!

Oh! Love you. Love you, baby.

[adventurous music playing]

[Tumi] This is gonna end in tears.[/i]

-Okay, what the f*ck is going on here?
-Tumiza! Language.

[gasps] Okay, okay, okay,
okay, okay. Please!

[in Sotho] Don't k*ll me, please.

[in English]
What am I supposed to do with this?

-[Mkhize] Eat it
-Why?

[in Afrikaans]
You drank like a soldier yesterday.

[in English] Oh... Oh, come on.
I'm not here for hangover remedies.

I just wanna know why are we here?

-Why are we at a crematorium?
-[smacks van]

Wait. [in Zulu] What the hell is going on?

I won't drink again.

[in Sotho] Who are these guys?

[in English] T-talk to me.

Tell me what's happening.

[spluttering] Wait. Is that...

Look, okay... Okay, I...

I don't wanna know. I don't wanna know
what's happening here. No.

And, and, and I just want it on record,
and so that it's very clear...

[loudly]
...that I am not in support of this.

-Tumiza.
-Whatever that is.

The future will absolve you.

Do you know
you could go to prison for this?

[in Afrikaans] Well, I've done
a couple of stints there already.

It's not as bad as everyone thinks.

[in English] Just... Okay.

Okay, pick up.
Pick up. Pick up. Pick up, please.

[phone ringing]

-[gasps]
-Sorry, Ma. Sorry.

-[phone beeps]
-[mourners singing hymn]

Aw, sh*t!

[panting]

Gracie, girl. Gracie, come on.

-[phone ringing]
-[sighs] Okay, okay.

-[phone buzzing]
-[mourners singing hymn]

[phone beeps]

-[breathing shakily]
-[phone ringing]

-[phone buzzing]
-[mourners singing hymn]

[phone beeps]

[in Tswana] There goes your favorite.

I'm sure wherever she is,
she's causing so much drama.

[sighs] Jeez!

Okay, Khaya.

Okay.

[exhales]

[phone ringing]

[crowd shouting]

[phone buzzing]

[shouting continues]

[Tumi sighs]

f*ck.

[mourners clamoring]

[clamoring continues]

[in Xhosa] Throw water on her face.

[in Zulu] What's going on here?

[in English] Where is my mother's body?
Where is my mother's body?

[in Zulu] I'll b*at you up.

[all clamoring]

[in Zulu]
Who would want to steal Gogo's body?

-[Vusi] It's that bastard Mkhize.
-[Siya] It's that rat Mkhize.

You know what? Relax. I'll call
my g*ons, and we'll find this man.

[in English] He can't be too far.

[in Zulu] When you say "g*ons,"
do you mean your gangsters?

You want to argue semantics
or find our mother?

-That won't help!
-Don't tell me what to do.

[Valencia] Hey, Vusi!

[in Tswana] My goodness!
What's going on here?

The old lady woke up from the dead
and turned into rocks.

No, man.

[in English] The devil is a liar.
[in Tswana] Let's pray.

No, why are you praying?

[in English] That's useless.
How's that going to help?

[in Tswana] The body is gone,
and it's probably stolen for witchcraft.

Huh?

Hold on, where were you?

I was finalizing the arrangements
for my retirement policy.

At least Tumi is not
at the center of all this.

[Shadrack] Mmm.

[Beauty exhales]

What?

[in English] Probably nothing,

but she did try to call me
before we discovered the bricks.

[in Tswana] Maybe it's a coincidence.
Khaya, where is Tumi?

[in Xhosa] Tumi said...

She said she was coming
to help with the funeral.

Excuse me, Ma.

[Valencia, in Zulu]
What are you talking about?

[Khaya] Uh... [chuckles awkwardly]

-[in English] Nothing.
-Nothing.

-[in Zulu] You're gossiping.
-[all] Huh-uh.

[in Tswana] We were praying.

[in Xhosa] Tumi called me as well.

[Vusi, in Zulu] Aha! You see?

[in Zulu] What did she do?
Huh? What did Tumi do?

[in Tswana]
She has nothing to do with this.

-Beauty.
-Ma?

[Valencia, in Zulu] Talk.

-Definitely something's up.
-Huh-uh.

He was seen with a panel van
driving around the mortuary.

[Vusi] You see now? Huh? [mutters]

What did I say to you?

Someone better start talking now.

[Tumi, in English] Okay, um...

Okay. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.
Uh, wait. Just hold on. Um...

Sir, you know, I was thinking

that maybe we could
strike a deal with the Twalas,

you know, so that you can get whatever
you want, whether it's money, or...

-Or an apology.
-No, no, no.

[in Afrikaans]
Only a fool would barter with a rich man.

We are just doing
what Esther would've wanted.

[in English] Sir, I'm sorry.
I'm just tired of doing...

[in Afrikaans]
...what Esther would've wanted, okay?

[in English] Bless her heart,

but she's the one that's gotten me
into this mess and now...

[in English] No, no, no.
Don't blame yourself.

I don't want to blame myself, okay?

But you know what's gonna happen?
Everybody's gonna blame me.

You know what? Maybe I am toxic.

[in Afrikaans]
Maybe the furnace is warm now.

[in English] No, no, no, no, no.

Uh-huh. I'm pleading, pleading, pleading.

Please. I'm pleading with you
as a very desperate woman.

Please don't do this.

-[phone buzzing]
-Please just hold on. Wait.

Finally.

Okay. Um, I need to just quickly go
to the lavatory, and then just...

Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Please.

Like burn a body.

Where the f*ck have you been?
You will not believe what is happening.

[together]
Mr. Mkhize stole Gogo Twala's body.

You know, Beauty, Sbu's d*ck game
better be as good as you said it was,

because this family...
[chuckles] ...they are not worth it.

Uh, Tumi?

Seriously, this Mkhize guy
is a f*cking psycho.

First, he's telling me
about some impala in the morning,

then next thing there's these four guys
who are coming out of a van with a coffin.

Then... Listen to this.

He's giving me a tomato
with some salt for my hangover.

[in Zulu] Hey, you whore.

Nobody is interested
in your tomato stories. Piss off. Geez!

[in Tswana] Um, Beauty,
how long have I been on speaker?

Uh...

[in Zulu]
Listen, just tell us where our mother is.

Yeah, just tell us where our mother is!

-[in English] Just tell them.
-I've already said that.

I'm at the bloody crematorium.

It's just...
Gogo's boyfriend wants to burn her, and I...

He's not listening to reason,
so if you can help me to help you,

and her, and him,
please just get here quick.

[in Zulu] Tumi, listen, we're on the way.
[in English] Just stall him, okay?

-Okay.
-[phone beeps]

Fine. sh*t.

[in English] I've got this covered.

[in Zulu] I'll round up my g*ons.
We can deal with this like men.

[in English]
We don't have time for that nonsense.

[in Zulu] This is how we settle things
in KZN. I'm telling you.

-I have to stop Mkhize.
-[in Zulu] No, I'm coming with you.

Let's go.

[Prudence shouts]

[in Zulu] Come back here.
Where do you think you two are going? Huh?

Hey, listen here.

You know you have to help me.

We have visitors coming.

Who is going to help me?

Hurry up and go make some tea.

Go!

[in Tswana]
Khaya, let's go before they crucify her.

[Khaya, in Xhosa] Let's go, Ma.

[Shadrack, in Tswana] Geez!

[in English] Don't you think
we should, um, pray first?

-Pray?
-Uh-huh.

[in Afrikaans] You?

-Mm-hmm.
-[in Tswana] No, man.

[in English] We can't just...
We can't just... send her off with nothing.

No.

Our dear Esther deserves dignity.

Please.

Okay.

[sighs]

[in English] Are you going to start?

Me?

-Yeah. Yes.
-Okay, of course.

I'm going to dedicate a love...
No, a song about love in this moment.

-Okay.
-It's a hymn.

Yeah.

[singing hymn]

Will you please join me in song...
in the hymn?

[both singing hymn]

♪ Amen ♪

[in Tswana] Let's pray.

Oh, dear Lord.

[in English] And Father,
you are alpha, and you are omega.

-Father, in your light we are praised.
-[in Zulu] We're done now.

[in English] Even God is tired
of listening to your voice.

[in Xhosa] Tumi, what are you doing?

[in Tswana] Mom, listen.

[in English]
I can explain everything, I promise.

[in Zulu] I'm going to k*ll you.

[all shouting]

[in English]
How dare you steal my mother's body!

[in Zulu] You're lucky Siya isn't here.
We were going to k*ll you.

Put the fire out.

Put the fire out!

[all shouting]

-[in Afrikaans] Look here, boy.
-[in Zulu] I'm going to k*ll you.

[in English] How else
was I supposed to get your attention?

[in English] Wait.
So this was your plan all along?

Eh, yeah.

[in Tswana]
Did you know what was going on here?

[in Xhosa] I don't know what's going on.

[in English]
It's all here in black and white.

[in English] What is black and white?

[in Afrikaans]
Esther didn't want a big funeral.

[in English] You don't know
the first thing about my mother.

-[all clamoring]
-[Sbu] Relax.

[in Afrikaans] Vusi, listen.

Your mother knew you were broke.

[in Tswana] Broke?

-[in English] Wait. What?
-[in English] No. We are not broke.

[in Zulu] Listen here. Do not paint us
with the same brush of poverty.

-Dad.
-Yes?

What is he saying?

[in English] Well, um...

-There's a little bit of truthlet...
-[in English] "A little bit of truthlet"?

Uh, Sbu...

Oh, wait.

Everybody knew,
and nobody decided to tell me?

No, no, no.

It's just that
we were trying to protect you.

-Since...
-Since?

[inhales sharply]

Say it.

Everybody say "the miscarriage."

That's what I'm talking about.

Nobody in this family ever talks
to one another, and it's bullshit.

-[in Zulu] Sbusiso, watch your language.
-No, Themba. Let me talk.

This is the same reason
why Gogo Twala had to run to Tumi...

[in Zulu] ...someone she doesn't even know,
instead of her own family.

Uh...

-[in English] I'm sick of this sh*t.
-Sbu...

-No, I'm sick of it.
-Sibusiso! Sibusiso!

[Sbu, in Zulu] Themba, leave me alone!

[Mkhize, in English] He is right.

[in Zulu]
You should all be thanking Tumiza.

[in English] What?

[Mkhize, in English]
I have only known her for a day,

and she strikes me like a woman
that can milk the cow from the back.

You need a woman like her on your side.

Especially when the rivers are dry,
and the lions need a drink.

[in English] I'm not going to stand here
and listen to this old fool

talking about women drinking cows
and milking lions...

-Hey, hey, hey, Vusi.
-What are you talking about?

-Are you okay in here?
-Listen.

[in Afrikaans] You'll understand.

Your mother knew how much you
and Siya loved and supported her.

[in English] So she called you what?

Mommy's boys. Do you understand?

You see, she was trying to protect you
from scratching each other up.

She just wanted what's best for you two.

So do what any good mama's boys would do.

Go and make mama proud.

[sighs deeply]

Fine.

-Okay.
-But I need my brother for this.

[in Zulu] Vusi, wait for me.

Siya, stand down. There's not going to be
a funeral tomorrow.

[Siya, in Zulu] What do you mean?[/i]
I've got the g*ons. Drop me a pin.[/i]

[in English] I'll explain
everything to you later, okay?

[Siya] MaVrrr, no...[/i]

[in Zulu] Vusi, I think we can do
a small and intimate ceremony

at the beach house for Gogo.

[in English]
Away from these nosey neighbors.

[in English] That's a brilliant idea.

[in Zulu]
But we still don't have a pastor.

[in Tswana] Mrs. Sello.

[in Zulu] We have a problem
that we think you can help us with.

[in English]
Due to unforeseen circumstances,

the pastor couldn't make it, so...

[in Tswana] Hallelujah!
I would be honored. God is good. Glory!

-[Tumi, in English] Don't be mad.
-[in English] No. Why? I'm not mad.

This family's better off because of you.

Yeah, the theatrics were a bit much,
but you never cease to surprise me.

[laughs] And that is why
I'm gonna take a page out of your book.

Huh?

[in Xhosa] Excuse me, everyone.
Can I please have a minute of your time?

There's something I'd like to say.

[in Zulu] What now?

[in Xhosa] Ma, I know
this isn't the right way of doing things.

[in English]
But this feels like the right moment,

and I can't wait anymore.

-I love this woman.
-[/i][Tumi gasps] Oh God.[/i]

[Khaya]
She moves from the heart instinctively,

and I think
it's time for me to do the same.

Uh, what are you doing, babe?

[in Zulu] Yes, really?
At a time like this?

[in English] Boitumelo Sello,
my life does not make sense without you.

Honey, we're at a crematorium.

I know, baby, but I'm tired of waiting
for the right moment to do this,

so I'm going to do this now
because I need you to be my partner.

I need you to be my best friend,

and, most importantly,
I need you to be my wife.

Please make me the happiest man alive.

Will you marry me?

[ululating]

[in Tswana]
It's going to be a celebration.

[ululating]

[Tumi, in English] Just say yes.[/i]

-Yes.
-"Yes?" She said yes.

Yes! [ululating]

[Valencia, in Zulu] You know what, Vusi?
These people have no respect.

We're in mourning,
and they're getting married.

Let's go.

[giggles]

[in Tswana] Geez, guys!

Tumi, how about some
little lipstick, my child?

-[in English] I left my bag inside.
-No. It's all right. You can get it later.

[Dineo, in Tswana] The pastor,
congregation, and church will be pleased.

[somber music playing]

[in Zulu]
So you're just going to let him win?

[Vusi exhales]

[in Zulu]
Aren't you tired of fighting, Siya?

[sighs]

This is my mother,

and I will bury her
the way I'm supposed to.

[in English]
Even if I have to do it myself.

[in English]
Siya, this is what she wanted.

Hmm?

[in Zulu] But listen...

[in English] If... if you don't want that,

if you don't want us
to do it that way, that's fine.

[in Zulu]
We'll do whatever you want us to do.

[in English] I just...

[sighs]

I just want us to... to do it together.

[in Zulu] In unity.

[in English] But we need to let her go.

[sighs]

[sniffs, cries]

[in Zulu] Okay, brother.

-[in English] All right.
-[sobbing]

[in Zulu] Okay, brother. Okay, brother.

[continues sobbing]

[sniffs]

All right, brother.

MaVrrr...

Yeah.

[in Zulu]
We still get to keep the casket, right?

[chuckling] Only you.

You're crazy.

You talk nonsense.

It has gold on it.

I love you, brother.

[Siya sniffles, sighs]

[waves crashing]

[knocking on door]

[in English] Have you seen Papa?
I tried to call him, but it just rings.

[sighs heavily]
[in Tswana] Maybe you should sit down.

[in English] He's gone, isn't he?

[in English] I'm sorry.

I mean, I knew it.
I just didn't wanna believe it.

[in Tswana] Neither did I.

[in English] Sbu was right.

And now he's not even talking to me.

[sentimental music playing]

Why do I keep losing
the things that I love?

[in Tswana] No.

You have not lost Sbu.

Beauty, my child, life is just life.

It comes at you sideways.

Just remember the good.

[in English] It just feels like
there isn't any good left.

[in Tswana] No.

Your husband still agreed to help
your lying, cheating father.

[in English]
That good-for-nothing piece of...

[in Tswana] What I mean is,
you can't find love like that everywhere.

You fight for it.

That is what will save you.

It was you and Tumi
who saved me when Edmund left.

[Beauty sighs]

[in English] Please don't die on me, Ma.

[in Tswana] No.

[sighs]

[exhales deeply]

[in English] Sibusiso, I'm sorry. Um...

We thought we were protecting you.

[in English] Protecting me?
By lying to me?

Well, by submarining the truth somewhat.

But it's all going to be out there anyway
when I get sent to prison.

What? Prison?

I can't run away from the HAWKS
and SARS forever.

[in Zulu] Dad, wait.
What are you talking about?

[in English] Well, a couple of months ago,

I got a letter,

and they were talking
about tax and a lifestyle audit.

I then heard rumors that there was
gonna be another state capture inquiry.

So I thought, um...

I thought, "Maybe let me just ignore this,
and it'll all go away."

And now my accounts are frozen.

And in this letter,

what did it say exactly?

What does it matter?

I know my fate.

And it is an ideal

I hope to live for.

But if need be,

it is an ideal

for which I'm prepared to die.

Did you just quote Mandela?

Like, are you comparing your SARS issues
to Mandela going to prison right now?

[in Zulu] You know that...

[in English] Madiba and I are
in the same WhatsApp group.

[laughs]

Okay, let me look at that letter
and your tax documents,

and I'll see what I can do.
How about that?

I've never told you this...

but you are our favorite son.

Okay.

But don't tell Themba.

[upbeat music playing]

Okay, uh...

-And then?
-Well, this was plan A!

-Yeah.
-Really?

Mm-hmm.

You know, 'cause I thought
the proposal at a crematorium, that was...

-That was more romantic.[/i]
-[chuckles][/i]

Oh yeah, I got carried away,

but it's gonna be a great story
for the kids, right?

[Tumi] "K-kids"? Plural?[/i]

Yeah.

The only thing
that is missing right now is...

Bam! That.

-Right?
-Bam.

[laughs]

What? What's wrong?

You don't like it?

No! [mumbles]

No. What I'm... No.

-It's beautiful.
-Yeah?

-Yeah.
-Right?

It's just...

Just the other day, we were broken up.

-And then this morning, I just...
-[phone buzzing]

-Sorry, just one second.
-Okay.

-Yeah. It's Lu.
-[video call connects]

-[Tumi clears throat]
-[laughs]

[both] Hey!

-Yeah!
-Did you do it? How'd it go?[/i]

-We're engaged!
-[gasps][/i]

That's epic! Tell me every detail.

Wait. I hope
you weren't lame and cheesy, Dad.

No. Uh, lame and cheesy,
that is not the word.

No, it's not, because it's more like
unique, romantic, spontaneous.

-Yeah.
-Come on. Just tell me everything.[/i]

Am I going to be the best man
or a bridesmaid?

-Who's gonna be your ring carrier?
-Whoa. One question at a time.[/i]

[Lulu]
Are you getting married in Mauritius?[/i]

Oh my gosh!
I'm going to Mauritius! [squeals][/i]

[Khaya] Wait. Whoa. Whoa. Wait.

[waves crashing]

You know, I used to sit out here
all night just thinking.

What you thinking about now?

[inhales sharply]

About our son.

Look...

I know I've been unbearable
and the worst version of myself...

-Beauty, it's all right.
-Please, I need to say this.

I've been the worst.

Just a complete bitch

to everyone,

my family, my friends...

and most importantly, you.

I'm sorry, Sbu.

It was just...

easier to pretend and shut everyone out.

-Yeah, but I'm not everyone.
-I know.

We've been married for a year, but
it feels like I've lived ten lives in it.

Some days I'm okay.

But some days...

[shakily] Some days,
it feels like day one of losing him again.

-I know.
-[sniffs]

Beauty, we can't continue like this.

We need to see someone.

[romantic song playing]

[both moan]

-Good to have you back.
-[laughs]

[whispers] So good.

Okay, what are you doing?

I feel like we need, like, a fresh start.

Like a baptism.

-Yeah, but this water's freezing.
-So, come keep me warm.

[romantic song continues]

[song fades]

[in Zulu] Oh, is he already asleep?

[in Zulu] Yes, he's already asleep, Ma.

Hmm.

Um... [clears throat]

Ma...

I want to apologize
about the way I spoke to you.

[sighs]

-[in English] It's just...
-It was necessary.

Sorry?

It was necessary.

[in Zulu] You see...

[sighs]

As a mother and a good wife...

[in English] ...you protect your family.

[in Zulu] You see, Lydia...

[in English] ...I know how it feels
to be treated badly by your in-laws.

But I need you to do better than me...

[in Zulu] ...with Shaka's wife.

[in English] I will.

[in English] Yeah.

-Thank you, Ma.
-[in Zulu] Thank you.

[laughs]

[Lydia sighs]

[Themba groans]

Okay, um...

[in Zulu] What is she saying now?

-Oh, Themba...
-No!

[in English] Baby, love-love, I think...

I feel we need to face our demons head on.

[Lydia] No, Themba...

[in Zulu] Hold on, love. Okay?

We're tired now.

We're tired of you
always bullying us around.

Themba.

[in English] Valencia, please!
Please, Valencia.

Respect me!

[in Zulu] Please. Myself and my wife,
we want to leave.

We want a fresh start.
We want to live alone.

[in English]
And without you saying anything!

[in Zulu] Just wait a minute!

[in English] Please!

[Lydia and Valencia laughing]

What? What?

[in Zulu] The baby is sleeping,
and you're making noise.

That's wonderful, my child.

It's wonderful that you, your wife,
and your child are leaving.

[in English] That's good. I support that.

[in English] Really?

[in Zulu] Yes, really.

[in English] Oh, one more thing.

[in Zulu] You're a man now.

[groans]

But you're still my son.
Don't you dare talk to me like that again.

[in English] Mmm. I'm still your mom.

[in Zulu] I'm not your friend, right?

-[in English] Okay, Ma.
-[in English] Thank you.

[in Zulu] Goodnight, my boy.
[in English] Good night, Lydia.

-Good night, Ma.
-[Valencia] Shaka, good night.

[in Zulu] But you just squeezed my...

[in English] "Okay, Ma."

-Huh-uh.
-[Lydia giggles]

Huh-uh.

Oh! Oh!

Thank you, baby.

Thank you.

[upbeat music playing]

[mourners singing hymn]

[Vusi, in Zulu] Thank you.

[singing hymn]

[all singing hymn]

Thank you. You may be seated.

[singing hymn]

[Vusi] Please, Auntie.

-Auntie.
-[all singing hymn]

Tell Auntie to sit down.

Sit her down.

[hymn continues]

-[singing stops]
-Please be seated.

You too, Auntie. Thank you.

-[singing hymn]
-[Vusi] Oh, my goodness. No.

Auntie. Auntie, no.

Mr. Sello, please be seated.
Thank you, Auntie.

[in English] Now, as the most
highly ranked individual here,

I would like to welcome you all

by saying

all protocol observed.

Now, I'm proud of many things in my life.

My fine taste in suits,

my fine taste in shirts...

[Siya groans]

[Vusi] ...the colognes that I use.

[in Zulu] We get it!

[in English] My collection of timepieces.

However, I'm mostly proud
of this family that we have built.

We have all been able
to put aside our differences

and do what Mama wanted.

May we please all rise
for the reading of the obituary?

I, uh...

would actually like
to call upon my brother, Siyabonga,

to come and read the obituary.

[in Zulu] Here.

[grunts]

Siyabonga.

[in English] Yeah. Yeah.

[Siya clears throat]

[in Zulu] Nah.

Esther Nondoloza Twala.

-Uh, née Khumalo.
-[Vusi] Nondondoloza.

Yes.

She had a hot head.

Uh, she took no bullshit from anyone.

[laughs]

I like to call her
my Kentucky Fried Chicken bone.

Let me finish. Yes.

She's really the love of my life.

-She was the real gangster in this family.
-Oh, yeah. [laughs]

-Not me, but my mother.
-Thank you, Siya.

-She's the real gangster.
-Uh-huh.

That's right. Thank you.

[in English] Thank you.

[in Zulu] Phew. My goodness.

[in English] I, um... [clears throat]

I would, uh, like
to call on the next speaker,

who is somebody
that was very close to Mama.

Now, when he's not stealing bodies,

he is seeing to Mama's
last will and testament.

Mr. Mkhize.

[mourners singing hymn]

[in Zulu] It's here in black and white.

[in English]
Esther knew how fond I am of words,

so this letter is her parting gift to me.

"My dear Richard, if you are reading this,

then that means
I finally kicked the bucket,

and my family is trying
to plan a ridiculous funeral

in my name."

[sentimental music playing]

[clears throat, inhales]

"I need you to do one more thing for me..."

[in Zulu] "...love of my life."

[in English]
"As your final act of love for me..."

[sniffs]

[voice breaking]
"...I need you to fight for me."

"I need you..." [sniffs]

"...to do this for me."

[crying]

Tumiza.

[in Zulu] Huh? Sir?

[in English]
Please, come read this for me.

[Tumi, in English] Oh, for f*ck's sakes.[/i]

I'm... I'm... I'm good, really.

[Mkhize] Come. Please.

[Khaya whispers indistinctly]

[Mkhize] I would not be here
had it not been for you.

-[Tumi mutters]
-[Dineo clears throat]

Okay. [clears throat]

[sighs]

"You tease me about my stubbornness

and my flat feet."

"I've given both
of those things to my family,

and they will not hear you."

"But I need you

to get them to listen."

"Read these words to them

and make sure that they know that this

is my last gift."

[Esther, in Zulu] My children...[/i]

[in English]
...having a family is a huge blessing.[/i]

[in Zulu] But you're annoying.[/i]

[in English]
After meeting the women in my sons' lives,[/i]

I thanked God
for not giving me a daughter.

[in Zulu] They annoyed me until the end.[/i]

But...

[in English] ...they also turned[/i]
my boys and my grandsons into men.[/i]

Upon my death,

my remains are to be
scattered in the ocean.

I never got to travel the world.

[in Zulu] Maybe this is my chance.[/i]

[in English] I know[/i]
you will not understand[/i]

why I kept Richard from you,

but even a mother
must have some things in this life

that are just for her.

I know death seems final,[/i]

but it never really is.

My spirit lives and breathes.

And mine

is one I hope

you will never forget.

I have remained grounded in what I wanted.

[in Zulu] Even if it annoyed people.[/i]

[in English]
This[/i] is the secret to true happiness.[/i]

"Do not..."

[inhales]

[voice breaking] "Do not give up
pieces of yourself for anyone."

"Do not accept a version of your life
that you're not truly happy with,

or you will be surrendering to regret."
[inhales sharply]

"All my love, Esther."

[Esther's voice joins]
"That's Gogo Twala to most of you."

Excuse me. Sorry.

[waves crashing]

Hey. What are you doing out here? Hmm?

You're missing out
on all the after-tears action.

[laughs] And your uncle... Your uncle
is the happiest I've ever seen him.

What's wrong?

You know what you want.

Excuse me?

You want a wife and...

kids

in a house in Pretoria.

[Khaya] Hmm.

Correction.

I want you

and a family, and a house anywhere.

What do I want?

What do you mean?

Have you ever...

Have you ever just stopped and...

Just stopped and asked yourself

what I want?

[sentimental music playing]

Okay, babe, what are you talking about?

I've tried.

Yeah, I've...

I've really tried, but...

this is not me.

And I don't...

I don't want to end my life having lived
somebody else's version of me.

What is this really about?

Is this about Lulu?

No.

It's about me!

It's always been[/i] about you.

That is not fair.

I've spent the last year...

I spent it bending to suit you.

But we were doing that for us.

No, for you.

[in Xhosa] Tumi, please.

Please.

Baby, please.

I love you.

[in English] Please.

I love you too, Khaya.

[Khaya]
Babe, please don't do this. Please.

[in Xhosa] Tumi, please.

[in English] I'm sorry.

[sentimental music continues]

I'm sorry.

[in Tswana] For what?

[in Tswana]
I know how much you loved Khaya.

Yes, but I love you more.

[both chuckle]

[in English] Hey. I just got
your text about Khaya. Are you okay?

I'll be fine.

I'm sorry.

Me too.

No, I mean it.

I'm sorry.

Not saying anything about Edmund...

not believing you
with the whole Gogo Twala mission,

all of it.

Hey, I'm just glad
that the angel of death is gone.

Ha ha ha.

I still have
a long apology tour ahead of me.

[sighs] Thando's blue-ticking me.

That's possibly a good thing.

Tumi.

I'm playing, okay? Joking.

So, what now?

[inhales deeply] I don't know.

Tumi...

[in Tswana]
Why did you give him back the ring?

[all laugh]

-Ma...
-[in English] You're not focused.

-Yeah!
-Yeah.

I lack it.

[sentimental music playing]

[exhales deeply]

[in English] You know...

this is probably my very last Christmas
with my family.

I could spend years
and years and years in prison.

You ready to be my Winnie?

[in Zulu] Nobody is going to jail, Vusi.

[in English] Except your brother. Again.

Val, thank you very much
for everything that you've done for me

in the last couple of days.

I really, really appreciate it.

Vusimuzi Twala.

I may love you.

Hmm.

But don't you ever, ever do that to me.

[in Zulu] Do you hear me?

You lied to me, Vusi.

[in English] No.

[in Zulu] You hide things from me.

Don't you dare do that again.
I'll k*ll you.

[in English] And I'll pretend
as if it was just an accident.

-[groans]
-[in Zulu] Do you hear me?

-[in English] Val, it's too tight.
-I know it is.

[in Zulu] I just want to know
that we're on the same page. Yes or no?

[in English] Same page of the same book.

[groaning]

[in Zulu] My goodness.

Oh! You almost injured me.

[in English] I was... I was so scared.

-Of what?
-Of losing you.

Over money? Over money, Vusi?

Yes.

[sighs]

[in Zulu] Vusi, you and I promised
for richer or poorer.

What's going on now?

I'm sorry to disappoint you,
but I'm not leaving. I'm here to stay.

[in Zulu] Oh.
So you're not going anywhere?

-Where would I go?
-Oh, my love.

-Leave me alone.
-Oh. [reciting clan names]

Leave me alone, Vusi.

-No. I'm still upset with you.
-[reciting clan names]

-Vusi, leave me alone.
-Listen.

-I'm still upset with you.
-It's okay, but...

[in English] ...we've got some time
before everyone comes over.

[in Zulu]
Perhaps we can get one in to help me heal.

You've hurt me, so you should fix things.

[moans]

What do you say? [giggles] Oh!

[both giggling]

-[Valencia giggles]
-[moans]

Oh! Come here!

-[moaning]
-[Valencia giggles]

-[in English] Dad, I was...
-Whoa!

Oh! Okay! Oh, man. I'm traumatized.
I can never unsee that.

[in English]
Did nobody ever teach you how to knock?

[Sbu] I'm so sorry, Dad.

It's just I got so excited because
I think I fixed your financial issues.

You... You what?

Okay, turn around. Turn around, Sbu.

So, as I was saying before, you know,

uh, I was running through the books

and I realized that
Dad hasn't been paying his taxes.

Well, we don't pay taxes.
We are ministers. The taxes pay us.

But what about
before you were in parliament?

[Vusi groans]

Yeah, so he hasn't been
paying his taxes for a while,

and it's shocking, I'm just...

-What does that mean?
-It's not as horrible as we thought.

I mean, you're not a corrupt politician.

Just pay back the money,
and everything will be sorted.

With a good lawyer, we can strike a deal
and make sure Dad doesn't go to jail.

Yeah, but wait.
You mean no more front-page headlines?

But you guys are gonna have to do
something I know you don't like,

which is to tighten up the budget.

Yeah. So that means this house
and some of your valuables,

they gotta go.

And when you're traveling,
you're gonna have to fly economy...

Ahh! Please don't say that.

[in Zulu] But what I'm saying is
we'll be all right. We'll be fine.

-[in English] We're gonna be fine?
-[Sbu] Yeah.

[in Zulu] Geez!

-[in Zulu] What now? We'll be fine.
-[in English] We can't be fine.

I've already started planning
for the commission of inquiry.

I got the suit,
I'm waiting for the Public Protector,

and the people,
they are chanting my name in the street.

-Well, Vusi...
-I planned for this!

[in Zulu] Just be grateful
that our child is an accountant.

[in English] It's paying off.

-It's paying so well.
-[Valencia laughs]

Anyways, let me leave.
Please, I don't want us to be late.

-[Valencia, in Zulu] All right. Thank you.
-[in English] Behave.

[in Zulu] Go away. I'll hit you.
Thank you. We love you.

-[Sbu, in English] Love you too!
-[laughs]

[in Zulu] I was going to launch
my new suit in a way that...

[in English] We're gonna be late.
[in Zulu] Let's get dressed.

[in English] You know that suit.
Have you seen how it fits me?

-[Valencia] Vusimuzi Twala.
-[in Zulu] How would I look?

[Valencia, in English]
Vusi, we're gonna be late!

[upbeat music playing]

[in Tswana] Lunch is almost ready.

[Prudence, in Zulu] Let's eat.

These scones are not holding me down.
I've been eating them for a while.

Hey, Grace.

-Grace.
-[in Tswana] What?

[in English] No!

[Prudence grumbles]

[Dineo] Grace!

[gasps]

[chuckles awkwardly]

[in Tswana]
I don't want you to spoil your appetite.

Besides, it's dessert.

Yes, cake is for dessert.

[Dineo] Let's eat, please.

[all chattering and laughing]

[in Zulu] Who is dishing up for me?

[glass clinking]

[chattering subsides]

[in English] Ladies and gentlemen,
I would like to say a word

to everybody that's here right now.

-[Beauty clears throat]
-Beauty?

I still feel like
the luckiest man on Earth.

Happy anniversary.

-[Beauty] You remembered.
-[Sbu] Of course.

And I'm so glad
that everyone's gathered here today,

just like we were a year ago.

Now, may we all remember...

that life may be short,
but it doesn't mean we shouldn't live it.

Happy anniversary.

[all] Happy anniversary!

[all clapping and cheering]

[in Zulu] Hey! I'm starving. Let's eat.

[Siya, in Zulu] Just wait, Auntie.

[all chattering and laughing]

[upbeat music playing]

Ahem.

[in Afrikaans] You know...

I don't think you're...

What did you say?

[in English] Toxic.

Mmm. [inhales]

[in Afrikaans] You know nothing.

[in English] I know so many people
who would disagree with you.

[laughs]

[in English] Amen!

[in Afrikaans] Look what you've done.

[all cheering and laughing]

You know, Tumiza...

you're what I'd call...

a rare find.

The real deal.

[chuckles]

Never lose that.

[Mkhize chuckles]

Ciao.

[Tumi, in English] The old man is right.[/i]

No regrets.

[sentimental music playing]

[in English] Ma.

Rest in peace.

[in Zulu] You were a true top dog.

Do you see what I've been saying?
This is un-African.

[all laughing]

[in Zulu] Rest in peace, my love.

[sentimental song playing]

[Tumi, in English]
Finally, sun, margaritas and Mauritius.[/i]

[intercom dings]

You going on holiday?

Yep.

Oh, alone?

Yeah.

[sighs] Me too.

You know, I've been through so much,
but I won't bore you with the details.

But you know, men,

men can totally derail your life.

It's like, you know, I... I...
I booked this with my boyfriend.

Well, my ex.

Uh, actually, he's my fiancé,
but that was for like two seconds.

Long story.

Now, I just...

I just think it's time for me
to spend time with me, myself and I,

and to...

Right.

[upbeat music playing]

You should have a safe flight.

[Tumi sighs] Here we go again.[/i]

[upbeat song continues]