Josh: ok. In my whole life,
I've only had one real
Girlfriend.
Drake: in my entire life,
I've only had, like...
Girlfriends.
Josh: but the one thing I've
Already learned about dating...
Drake: and the one thing I've
Learned from all that dating...
Josh: you have to let the girl
Know...
Drake: you gotta make sure the
Girl understands...
Both: the guy's in charge.
Drake: like right now, I'm
Dating this girl lucy...
Josh: you know my girlfriend
Mindy...
Drake: and last night, she
Starts yelling at me just 'cause
I happened to stare at this
Other hot girl who walked by.
Josh: well, yesterday, mindy
Gets all up on my case just
'Cause I showed up minutes
Late to pick her up.
Drake: she yelled at me.
I yelled at her.
Josh: then we got in this big
Argument.
Drake: and finally, I just said,
"I'm outta here."
Josh: and I haven't talked to
Her since.
Drake: you know, sometimes you
Just gotta let a girl know who's
In charge.
Josh: and when she calls, she
Better be ready to do some
Serious apologizing.
[Both cell phones ring]
Drake: and there's lucy now.
Josh: hello? Oh, hey, mindy.
Drake: I'm really sorry.
Josh: [weeping] it was all my
Fault! I should have been more
Punctual. Yes. Yes, I need to
Punctual. Yes. Yes, I need to improve, and I promise I will.
Improve, and I promise I will.
Drake: josh! Josh! Hurry! Hurry!
There's smoke in theater !
There's smoke in theater ! Josh: smoke?!
Josh: smoke?!
Josh: all right! All right!
Josh: all right! All right! Out of my way!
Out of my way!
Josh: you disappoint me.
Why would you lie about smoke in
A movie theater?
Drake: I didn't lie. There was
An old man on the screen smoking
A pipe. I think that sends teens
A bad message.
Mindy: hey, josh.
Josh: hey, mindy.
Mindy: drake.
Drake: creature.
Mindy: "d" average.
Drake: d-plus!
Mindy: so, josh, can I talk to
You for a second?
Josh: sure. What's up?
Mindy: well, we've been dating
For a couple months now.
Josh: [weeping] you're breaking
Up with me?! Why?! What did I
Do?!
Mindy: nothing.
Josh: I can't help it! I sweat!
Mindy: I like your sweat.
Look, all I was gonna say was I
Want you to have dinner at my
House with me and my parents.
Josh: oh. How come?
Mindy: well, they just feel like
They should get to know you
Better, that's all. You worried?
Josh: nah. No. No worries.
Look, parents love me.
Mindy: well, look, just keep in
Mind my parents are kinda
Strict.
Josh: no problem.
Mindy: and they're not very
Fun...or friendly...or nice.
In fact--
Josh: it'll be fine.
Mindy: I hope so.
Josh: trust me. Look, no kid is
Smoother with adults than me.
Helen: josh!
Josh: what?!
Helen: where are the candy
Receipts? I can't find 'em!
Josh: would you let me--
Helen: you think I'm some kind
Of fool?!
Josh: of course not--
Helen: don't you shout at me!
Hush! You have upset me in ways
I can't even understand, boy!
Mindy: smooth.
♪ I never thought
That it'd be so simple,
But I found a way,
I found a way,
If you open up your mind,
See what's inside,
It's gonna take some time
To realize,
But if you look inside,
I'm sure you'll find
Over your shoulder
You know that I told you
I'd always be picking you up
When you're down,
So just turn around,
So just turn around, ohhhhh ♪
Ohhhhh ♪
Lucy: youare a great kisser.
Drake: youare correct.
Lucy: I'll get us a table.
Drake: I'll get us some drinks.
Hey, josh. One diet mountain
Fizz, one regular.
Josh: coming up.
So? You and lucy?
Drake: yeah. I'm really liking
Her, you know? She might even be
The one.
Josh: the one you date for more
Than weeks?
Josh: yep. She could be a
"Monther." Sodas?
Josh: that'll be bucks.
Drake: aww. You're so cute.
Your beverage.
Lucy: thanks. Want a french fry?
Drake: where did you get that?
Lucy: one of those idiot jocks
Over there threw it and hit me
In the head.
Drake: those guys?
Lucy: yeah, but don't worry
About it.
Drake: I'll handle this.
Lucy: drake, don't. Those guys
Are pretty big.
Drake: yeah, I know.
Hey, josh!
Josh: what's up?
Drake: those guys are being all
Obnoxious and throwing french
Fries.
[Guys laughing]
Josh: not on my watch.
Hey!
Lucy: so, tell me, when you
Write a song, what comes first,
The music or the lyrics?
Drake: well, it depends. You
Know, sometimes I'll just be in
My room playing guitar...
What happened?
Josh: will you please remove the
Bucket from my head and untie my
Hands?
Lucy: those guys did that to
You?
Josh: yes. I think the big one
Stuffed something down my pants.
It's a corn dog.
Drake: wait here.
Lucy: drake, please don't do
This.
Drake: hey! You're the big tough
Guy who put a corn dog down my
Brother's pants?
Boy: maybe.
Second boy: or maybe I did.
Drake: yeah? Well, look,
You can't just--
You can't just-- josh: drake!
Josh: drake!
Lucy: are you ok?
Drake: yeah, yeah. I'm cool.
Boy: hey! I'm not done with you.
Helen: I beg to differ.
Now, you and your little hoodlum
Friends get out of my movie
Theater before I pop you like a
Zit! Move it!
Josh: wow. Lucy, where did you
Learn to fight like that?
Lucy: I grew up with older
Brothers, and it was either
Learn how to fight or get held
Down and burped on.
Helen: I'll tell you what.
Breaks my heart to see today's
Adolescents misbehaving like
That. Mm-hmm. Mmm.
Josh: um...
Helen, that, uh...
That corn dog?
Helen: hmm?
Helen: hmm? Josh: nothing.
Josh: nothing.
Josh: "well, mrs. Crenshaw,
Josh: "well, mrs. Crenshaw, what a lovely house you have."
What a lovely house you have."
Megan: what up with the tie?
Josh: I'm just getting ready for
My big dinner with mindy's
Parents tonight.
Megan: oh, yeah? You nervous?
What if they think you're a
Boob? I do.
Josh: oh, do ya? Look, parents
Love me, so I will not be
Nervous.
Megan: really? 'Cause most
People I know put their
Underwear on beforetheir pants.
Later.
Drake: what are you doing in
Here?
Megan: be quiet.
Drake: hey, josh. Can I borrow
Your...
[Chuckles]
Should I ask?
Josh: I'm just a little nervous
About my dinner with mindy's
Parents tonight.
Drake: and it calms you down to
Wear your underwear like that?
Josh: what are you doing here
Anyway? I thought you had a date
With lucy?
Drake: yeah, I cancelled it.
I think I'm gonna break up with
Her.
Josh: why?
Drake: I don't want a girlfriend
Who's tougher than me.
Josh: drake, that football
Player shoved you when you
Weren't even looking, ok?
Lucy is not tougher than you.
Drake: yeah, I guess he did
Kinda catch me off guard.
Josh: yeah, totally. And plus,
Lucy is a really great girl,
And she's totally cute. So I
Want you to call her back right
Now and ask her out tonight,
All right?
Drake: ok, I will.
Josh: all right. Cool.
And I am going to go show
Mindy's parents that I am the
Perfect boyfriend. Later.
Drake: josh!
Drake: josh! Josh: I know.
Josh: I know.
Josh: wow. Fancy dining room.
Mindy: thanks. Now, remember,
My parents can be a little
Uptight.
Josh: mindy, they're your
Parents, so I think they're
Awesome.
Mrs. Crenshaw: shoes off in the
House!
Josh: yes, ma'am!
Mindy: uh, mom, dad, you know...
Mindy: uh, mom, dad, you know... Josh.
Josh.
Josh: uh--uh--mr. Crenshaw,
Good to see you, sir.
Mr. Crenshaw: nice to see you,
Josh.
You're hurting my hand.
Josh: sorry. My fault.
Mr. Crenshaw: clearly.
Mindy: uh, josh, you mentioned
You brought some presents?
Josh: uh, yes, I did. Um...
Chocolates for the gentleman,
And daisies for the lovely lady.
Mr. Crenshaw: I'm diabetic.
Mrs. Crenshaw: I'm allergic to
Daisies.
Josh: didn't see that coming.
How about that?
Mrs. Crenshaw: chocolate gives
Me a rash.
Mr. Crenshaw: in czechoslovakia,
The daisy is know as "the flower
Of death."
Of death." Mindy: so, who's hungry?
Mindy: so, who's hungry?
Drake: you know what I love
About you?
Lucy: what do you love about me?
Drake: you're always in a great
Mood. Man, I can't believe I
Even thought about dumping you.
Lucy: huh?
Drake: oh, oh, nothing. It's
Stupid.
Lucy: no, tell me.
Drake: well, it's just, you
Know...ok, to be totally honest,
I got kind of freaked out about
The other night.
Lucy: what, the thing with the
Football player?
Drake: yeah, you know, I was
Thinking, "how can I date a girl
Who's tougher than me?" But josh
Told me I was just being dumb.
Lucy: yeah. So now you're cool
With it?
Drake: cool with what?
Lucy: dating a girl that's
Tougher than you.
Drake: whoa, whoa, whoa. Ok, you
Are not tougher than me. That
Football player just caught me
Off guard.
Lucy: ha ha! Ok. Whatever you
Say.
Drake: you think you're tougher
Than me.
Than me. Lucy: kinda.
Lucy: kinda.
Mrs. Crenshaw: dinner is served.
If everyone will please take a
Seat.
Josh: ok.
You're gonna sit there. Mindy,
After you.
No surprise there.
Well, mrs. Crenshaw, this
Certainly is a lovely dinner
That you prepared.
Mrs. Crenshaw: that flickering
Bulb is giving me a headache.
Josh: that? Well, it's probably
Just loose. I could fix it.
Mindy: josh, please don't.
Josh: oh, no, it's no big deal.
I'm not wearing any shoes. It'll
Just take a sec.
Mindy: please don't let him
Fall, please don't let him fall,
Please don't let him fall.
Josh: and there we go. Ah, now,
Josh: and there we go. Ah, now, who would like some chicken?
Who would like some chicken?
Drake: ok, that's it! It's a
Tie!
Lucy: no way! You just quit
Because you know I'm tougher
Than you.
Drake: [scoffs] I know nothing.
Wait a second.
Lucy: look, there is only one
Way to settle this.
Drake: oh, yeah? And how's that?
Lucy: you and I are gonna fight.
Drake: what?
Lucy: you heard me.
Drake: I'm not gonna fight a
Girl.
Lucy: oh, come on! What century
Do you think this is? Girls
Happen to be in the army, girls
Happen to be police officers,
And this girl happens to be able
To kick your butt.
Drake: ok, whatever.
Lucy: you're afraid to fight me.
Drake: I am not.
Lucy: chicken. [Clucking]
Drake: you're insane, you know
That?
Lucy: we got a chicken in the
House! Chicken in the house!
Drake: I am not gonna hit a
Girl.
Lucy: fine. Then we'll wrestle.
No hitting. Whichever one of us
Pins the other one's shoulders
Down for seconds wins.
Drake: ok, it's on.
Lucy: yeah, it is.
Drake: saturday night, my house.
Lucy: see you there.
Drake: I just made a date to
Fight my girlfriend.
Fight my girlfriend. [Woman laughing]
[Woman laughing]
Drake: whoa, what's this?
Josh: just getting ready for my
Big din--whhrrr! Drake,
Wh-wh-what are you doing here?
You're never home saturday
Night.
Drake: I told you. Tonight's my
Big fight with lucy.
Josh: no, no, no, no, no, no.
You never said that. Never said
That! You never said you were
Gonna be home saturday.
Drake: well, I am. Ooh, olives.
Josh: paws off my olives!
Drake: well.
Josh: drake, you know how hard
It was for me to convince
Mindy's parents to come here and
Have dinner, all right? This is
My last chance to impress them,
And if I don't, they're not
Gonna let me date mindy anymore.
Drake: so? She's icky.
Josh: she is not icky. She is my
Girlfriend and I like her!
Drake: I can't have one olive?
Josh: leave the house. Ok? Leave
The house. Everything has to go
Perfect tonight, and I can't
Have you running around here
Drake-ing up the place.
Drake: ok, well, the fight's
Upstairs and your dinner's
Downstairs. Problem solved.
[Doorbell rings]
Josh: they're here.
Lucy: drake?
Drake: it's just lucy. Calm
Down.
Hey, you look cute in your fight
Outfit.
Lucy: uh-uh. No kissing until
After I win the fight. Oh, hey,
Josh.
Josh: hey, how are you? Get
Upstairs! And don't come down
Until the crenshaws leave!
[Doorbell rings]
Oh, they're here! All right, all
Right. Play that thing!
[Woman plays harp]
Hey, mindy, mr. And mrs.
Crenshaw. Please come in.
Drake: ok, so I've moved most of
The furniture out of the way, so
We have plenty of room to--whoa!
Megan, why are you here?
Megan: we're here to watch the
Fight.
Boy: yeah.
Megan: look, I brought an
Official bell.
[Rings bell]
Drake: nice. You can ring it as
You're leaving. Now get out.
Megan: you can't throw us out. I
Charged these people bucks
Admission.
Drake: I want half the money.
Megan: I expected that.
Drake: ok, fine, but you kids
Stay on the bed.
Boy: you charged us bucks
Each.
Megan: shh.
Megan: shh. [Harp playing]
[Harp playing]
Mr. Crenshaw: josh, this is
Quite an impressive dinner. The
Food, the ice sculpture, the
Elderly harpist.
Mrs. Crenshaw: did you do all
This just for us?
Josh: sure. Yeah. I just feel
That if mindy's my girlfriend,
Then her parents deserve the
Best.
Mindy: ohh, is he the sweetest?
Josh: ah-ah-ah-ah. You know how
I feel about pre-marital
Kissing.
Kissing. [Harpist snoring]
[Harpist snoring]
Josh: um...ha-ha-have you two
Josh: um...ha-ha-have you two seen our front door?
Seen our front door?
Seen our front door? [Begins playing harp]
[Begins playing harp]
Lucy: ok, boyfriend, you ready
To learn that some girls are
Tougher than some guys?
Drake: yeah, I think one of us
Is about to learn something the
Hard way.
Lucy: aw, if only you were as
Tough as you are cute.
Drake: sure you want to do this?
Lucy: ring the bell.
Megan: round one.
Boy: do it!
[Bell rings]
Lucy: it's on.
[Kids cheering]
Come on. Come and get me.
Drake: ok, but if anytime during
This fight you feel any pain,
Just yell uncle and I'll--
Lucy: whoops.
Drake: not bad.
Lucy: well, there's a lot more--
Lucy: well, there's a lot more-- [cheering]
[Cheering]
Megan: how great is this?
Boy: yeah. So worth bucks.
Boy: yeah. So worth bucks. Drake: you said it was .
Drake: you said it was .
Mr. Crenshaw: josh, I must
Confess, perhaps mrs. Crenshaw
And I misjudged you. After
Seeing your parents' lovely home
Here...
Mrs. Crenshaw: and this elegant
Dinner you've prepared, well,
It's clear to us that you come
From a fine family.
Mr. Crenshaw: which makes us
Feel a lot better about you and
Mindy dating and--
[Crash]
What was that?
What was that? [Cheering]
[Cheering]
Lucy: uhh!
[Thud]
Girl: you got him pinned!
Kids: , --
Kids: , -- [cheering]
[Cheering]
[Cheering] boy: drake, watch it!
Boy: drake, watch it!
Megan: whoa!
[Crash]
They're rolling down the stairs!
Boy: let's go!
[Kids shouting]
Mindy: josh!
Mindy: josh! Josh: drake! Lucy! Megan!
Josh: drake! Lucy! Megan!
Josh: drake! Lucy! Megan! Ahh!
Ahh!
All right! All right! All right!
It's a draw!
Mr. Crenshaw: josh, who are
These people?
Josh: uh, this is my brother
Drake. Drake, this is--
Mrs. Crenshaw: he's your
Brother?
Mr. Crenshaw: I knew it. I knew
These were not the kind of
People our daughter should be
Associating with. Mindy, we're
Going.
Mindy: dad, mom, wait.
Josh: you see what you do? One
Night, one night I ask you to
Help me and you ruin it.
Drake: josh--
Josh: I told you how important
This was to me. I told you that
This was my last chance to
Impress mindy's parents. I--i
Spent, like, days working on
This dinner and I spent, like,
Bucks on a dumb harpist, who
At this point should stop
Playing!
[Stops playing]
And I don't even care what you
Think of mindy, all right?
Because she is the best thing
That has ever happened to me,
And I can't date her anymore
Because you wrecked it. You
Wrecked my dinner, you wrecked
My $ ice sculpture, and you
Wrecked my relationship!
Drake: you spent $ on ice?
Josh: rrrr!
Lucy: guys, stop it!
Mr. Crenshaw: listen, josh, I
Think...
That you and mindy should
Continue dating.
Josh: for real?
Mindy: why'd you change your
Mind?
Mrs. Crenshaw: because any young
Man who cares that much about
Our mindy...i think you
Understand.
Josh: thank you so much, mr. And
Mrs. Crenshaw.
Mr. Crenshaw: just one thing.
Josh: yes, sir?
Mr. Crenshaw: what were you two
Fighting about?
Lucy: see, I challenged him to a
Wrestling match because he
Didn't believe that I was
Tougher than him.
Mr. Crenshaw: well, of course
You're not. Ha ha!
Lucy: huh?
Mr. Crenshaw: physically, boys
Are genetically superior to
Girls.
Drake: ahh, thank you.
Mrs. Crenshaw: oh, paul, you
Sound like an idiot.
Mindy: you tell him, mom.
Mrs. Crenshaw: fighting has to
Do with skill, not male versus
Female genetics.
Mr. Crenshaw: oh, don't be
Absurd. Men are tougher than
Women.
Mrs. Crenshaw: oh, I've had
Steaks tougher than you.
Megan: well, I guess there's
Only one way to settle this.
Boy: fight!
[Bell rings]
[Cheering]
Mrs. Crenshaw: alden, why don't
You offer josh some chicken?
Josh: thank you.
Alden: that's my piece!
Josh: ok, here.
Alden: I don't want it after you
Put your fork in it!
Josh: oh, ok, how about this
One?
Alden: I don't like the breast!
Josh: well, who knew?!
Alden: now I don't want to eat
Alden: now I don't want to eat anything! He ruined my dinner!
03x10 - Girl Power
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Series follows two teenage stepbrothers Drake Parker and Josh Nichols as they live together despite opposite personalities.
Series follows two teenage stepbrothers Drake Parker and Josh Nichols as they live together despite opposite personalities.