04x92 - Bye Bye Nikki? Part A

[bunniefuu]

ON COMPUTEROh, Roger...


Ooh, they're gonna kiss!


Finally!


(Sighing)


What's with the heavy breathing?


Lookin' at photos of me?


Ew! Gross!


We're watching Sisterhood of the Wandering Shorts.


These girls go backpacking and fall in love


with a bunch of international hotties.


Is it any good?


Can't a guy enjoy a movie about a magical pair of shorts


that bond four women together in sisterhood?


JUDE AND JONESYNooooo!


Can you imagine us going around the world together?


Picture it,


the six of us backpacking through France, Italy, Spain...


Hungary?


Definitely, brah.


I could totally go for a burrito right now.


(Heavenly music playing)


(Panting)


Hey man, wanna split that?


Oh, dear.


Come back, dude!


(Splashing, shouting sounds)


Name one thing those countries have that the mall doesn't?


Uh, how about three things?


Huge museums, incredible art galleries,


soaring architecture --


(Making buzzer sound)


There's a grade-two art show over there,


the museum store,


and check out the soaring architecture of the food court!


You can get internationally inspired food


for under five bucks!


Just like refried beans are not Mexico,


the mall is not the world!


Well, it won't be my world for much longer,


not if my Dad has anything to do with it!


What are you talking about?


My family might be moving!


ALLWhat?!


You're... moving away?


Looks like!


Dad's got a job interview tomorrow, and if he gets it,


we'll have to move up north next week!


Oh, no! Oh, no!


(Munching)


I lost my house key in the fountain


and my folks are away on vacay.


I'm so locked out, bro!


Why so quiet, dudes?


Only because...


It's the end of the world as we know it!


♪


♪ Life begins after school


♪ That's when we bend all the rules ♪


♪ Time to hang with all my friends ♪


♪ We like to be together


♪ In a place where we belong


♪ I'm


♪ Starting to find my way


♪ Got a new job


♪ Going to start at the mall today ♪


♪ Thank God I'm on my own for the first time ♪


♪ I'm , life is sweet


♪ When you're growing up so fast ♪


♪ You got to make the good times last ♪


♪ I'm , I'm


♪ Got to make the good times last ♪


Nikki might be moving?!


My mellow is officially harshed.


(Sniffling)


It's like I don't even want to shop anymore!


How could he do this to me? To us?


What job is worth moving your whole family?


Ah! Don't even use the M word!


Which one, "magnet"? "Muchacho"?


No, "move."


I said quit it!


My dad's in the running


to become the new vice president of Rutts.


What? Wow!


No! That's amazing!


Rutts is so cool!


They did the uniforms for the Canadian Olympic team.


Their leather bags are totally chic!


And my butt always looks great in their jeans.


Just ask the ladies.


So as long as your butt is happy, it's cool?


Going from senior manager of Discount Dave's Fashion Cabana


to VP of Rutts is a huge deal!


Ooh! Do you think he'll start dressing better?


Relocating to some backwoods crap-town is a huge deal, too!


But do I even get a say?


No! My life is ruined!


Yeah, no big whoop.


We'll be here, you can visit us anytime.


Glad you're taking this in stride.



My new job awaits. Better get moving.


No one's moving! I can't hear you!


♪ La la la la, la la la


Later!


(Jen singing)


♪ La la la la...


I think Jen may be broken, brah.


At least she's bummed that I'm leaving.


(Slurping)


Wow. No sniffing the aroma?


No savouring the roasted thingamajigs?


What's a perfectly roasted blend from Northern Sumatra


when one's best friend is moving away?


That's right.


One best bud is moving away,


but the Jones-meister is here to stay.


How come you're not upset about Nikki leaving?


You're losing your best friend and your girlfriend.


Guess I'm not the emotional type.


I'm more like the strong and silent type.


Except for the silent part.


And the strong part. Seriously --


I am good, Wyatt, my man.


Good with a capital "ood."


Isn't your new job selling scarves


and sunglasses and stuff from a cart?


Yep! And I barely have to be there


'cause no one ever buys that crap!


But they do steal it.


What?!


Oh, I am so fired!


There's a surprise.


After I return the cart,


this guy's gonna celebrate his independence.


When people lose someone they love,


they often go through seven stages of anguish.


I'm a bit of an expert.


I think you've skipped panic


and gone straight to number twodenial.


The only denial I'm suffering from


is that I can't deny the smell of delicious tacos.


Later!


Classic profile.


Better spread the word.


Which tire would you recommend for a long-distance cycle?


Sure, go away!


Leave everyone you care about behind!


Can you tell me which wheels move better on concrete?


No one's moving! I can't hear you!


♪ La la la la la la


(Jen continues singing)


(Shrieking)


(Strumming guitar)


Skateboarding magazines? Who ordered those?


Oh, here we go! International Teen Style.


♪ Nikki, oh, Nikki


♪ You dropped the news on us so quickly ♪


♪ I feel like I'm losing a finger ♪


♪ I know the pain will linger ♪


My heart is totally breaking.


And that's the happy song!


No, I just read that women in Thunder Bay


are wearing high-waisted culottes and plastic clogs!


You can't move north!


Your torso is far too short to pull off high-waisted culottes!


Thanks for the tip.


But I doubt that will convince my Dad


to skip his job interview tomorrow.


Do you think anything else could convince him?


I wish!


But the man's got a one-track mind,


and he's aced every job interview he's ever had.


It's as hopeless as the most hopeless thing ever,


times ten!


(Sobbing uncontrollably)


(Sighing) I just calmed her down!


I should... go.


Sorry. Later.


Bye-bye, Nikki!


Bye-b-- wahhh!


♪ Nikki, oh, Nikki


♪ She left her friends in a mall ♪


♪ When her dad got the V.P. call ♪


♪ All she could do was say goodbye ♪


♪ And her friends just cried and cried ♪


(Sobbing)


Two super-stacked combos!


One for you, one for your sweetie.


Both are for me, my fair Julie.


So, how about you gimme two tacos for the price of one?


C'mon, be a pal!


Can I at least get some extra hot sauce?


Great! And some more jalapenos?


Refried beans?


Double cheese?


A few extra onions? Come on!


(Sighing)


Wyatt's right.


Jonesy's hit the third stage of anguish:


bargaining.



(Crowd cheering)


♪


Here I am enjoying myself


while Nikki goes through this move all alone.


What am I, a monster?


Just hit stage four, bro.


Guilt.


Five to one says he hits anger


in three, two, one...


(Jonesy playing a wrong note)


Argh!


(Smashing guitar)


(Jonesy screaming)


ON MOVIE SCREENYou mock my family,


I teach you the meaning of pain!


Just try it.


(Punching sounds) Ow! Ow!


That's exactly how I feel!


Tied up in knots while a Kung Fu master


beats me with a really hard stick!


Shh!


Depression.


Oh.


I don't want Nikki to leave!


She's my girl!


Aww.


Wyatt said acceptance is next.


I may have gone through the first six stages,


but the Jones-meister doesn't accept anything!


Not rampant failure at my many jobs,


not rejection at the hands of too many girls to count,


and I will not accept that Nikki is moving away!


Watch out, world.


You've unleashed the beast!


(Crowd cheering, clapping)


I don't think I can do this.


Do you want Nikki to leave?


No, dude!


Just read from the script I wrote.


It's Oscar-worthy material.


At the very least, a Gemini.


(Dialling)


(Phone ringing)


Hello? Good day, Mr. Wong.


I'm calling on behalf of the Senior V.I.P. of --


Senior V.P.


It clearly says V.I.P.! Learn to spell!


Hello?


...the Senior V.P. of Rutts. Oh, right!


Due to a scheduling conflict,


your interview will now be held at the Grind Me in the mall.


Do not, I repeat, do not go to Head Office.


Uh, okay.


Great, we'll see you then.


(Sighing with relief)


You really think this will work?


Nikki said her dad has his final interview today.


But Rutts won't hire him if he blows the interview.


Never happen. Have you met Mr. Wong?


I happen to know him intimately.


You're going to impersonate Mr. Wong at the mall?!


Correction.


I'm gonna impersonate Mr. Wong at Head Office,


while Jude impersonates the Senior V.P. of Rutts


and interviews the real Mr. Wong back here.


I get to be a Senior V.P.?


Cool!


I have no idea what that is.


What about me? I love dressing up!


You get to be Jude's faithful assistant.


We'll call you Lola.


I really should wear hats more often.


Cute, no?


This is so wrong, I don't even know where to start.


No one tell Nikki.


If she accidentally lets it slip to her folks, we're sunk.


I need to move before interviewing Nikki's dad.


Peace!


I have no idea what any of you people are doing!


Why is there a welcome mat in front of my lemon?


(Gasping)


(Yawning)


Jude? What are you doing?


And why are you already in your suit?


Lost my house key, brah.


I'm officially homeless.


Do you have to be homeless in my lemon?


Gameatorium is being sprayed for roaches.


Wasn't me!


You won't even know I'm here.


(Flies buzzing)


(Laughing nervously) I'll take those.


Illegally habitating in the food court?


We'll see about that.


Stupid dad and his stupid new job.


Can't he just stay here and do his stupid old job instead?


Doesn't he totally hate working


at Discount Dave's Fashion Cabana?


Well, I totally hate moving, but that doesn't seem to count!


(Sighing) Jen refuses to discuss it,



Jonesy acts like it doesn't even bug him --


Trust me. It's bugging him.


What do you know?


Nothing! But with any luck,


you won't have to switch towns and schools...


(Gasping) New school?


I never even thought about that!


No, I didn't mean to --


And it'll be a mid-term transfer,


worst time ever to be the new kid at school!


C'mon, I'm sure you'll do fine.


Fine? Fine like Tessa from Texas?


The only friend she's ever made is Julie.


Even Darth shuns her!


(Gasping)


Maybe, back where she's from,


Tessa was actually... cool?!


Noooo!


(Sighing)


Why do things always have to change?


(Sighing, blowing nose)


I don't wanna be Tessa from Texas!


Huh?


The girl at school with no friends and no boyfriend.


Ah, yes.


The curse of the mid-term transfer student.


I don't want to leave you guys!


I like my life here!


A lot! A lotta lot!


So, I know I just said it was hopeless,


but just forget about what I said and help me!


What's with the get-ups?


You look like a goon, and you look like my dad!


Great!


Uh, I mean, I'm so broken up about you leaving,


I've aged years.


I'll deal with you later.


Right now, I've got a million other questions.


If our family has to move,


how do I convince my parents to let me stay?


And even if they say yes, where will I live?


A million questions,


and five best friends willing to help.


Oh, thanks, guys.


Whew! Nikki isn't gonna move,


I've got a rockin' crash pad.


Life is sweet!


This is a food stand, not a flop house, maggot!


Bummer.


There's a vacancy at the lemon now.


Oh, thanks Jude, but... no.


Tell me someone had some luck?


I asked my parents if you could move in,


but they didn't think it was right to break up your family.


My parents want me to go with you.


There's room in my cart?


(Sighing)


My mom said she's willing to consider taking you in


for the rest of the school year!


"Willing to consider"?


Ha, the three sweetest words in the English language!


(Squealing)


Once you move in, I'm sure we can convince them


to let you stay till the end of high school.


Now I have to ask my parents. Ugh.


I'll do it! Parents love me!


Thanks, but this is something they should hear from me.


I mean, how hard can it be?


MR. WONGListen to me and your mother!


No daughter of ours is moving in with her boyfriend at !


She'll move and she'll like it!


We'll take her by force if necessary!


Let's just say it's a no-go.


What am I going to do now?


Only one thing left to do.


You and Jonesy have to break up.


Not helping!


Think about it!


If Nikki's parents think your relationship is over,


maybe they'll reconsider.


You're a genius!


Ahem!


Uh, a gorgeous genius.


That's better.


Dude, time for the main event!


Would you stop harping on me to get a job!


The Jones-meister doesn't work!


He's better as a kept man!


What are you doing?


Oh, oh.


If you think I'm going to support your taco habit,


you've got another thing coming, bub.


Get a job!


Uh, do better in school! Or we're through.


I deserve a winner!


Well, then I'm all wrong for you.


I'm a total loser! Wait...


You're right. We are so over!


Fine by me!


Love ya. Yeah, me too.



JUDEIf you dudes will excuse me,


I have to find somewhere to live.


Comin' thru, lobster dudes.


(Splashing)


What are you doing in my fish t*nk?


Just taking my morning bath, sushi guy.


Whoa!


Yahhhh!


Whoa! Later!


Mr. Wong.


Nice to finally meet you.


Well, you're not old enough to have a teenage daughter!


Am too!


(Clearing throat)


I mean, I drink a lot of green tea.


(Laughing)


Don't be nervous now.


Not nervous at all.


I've thrown plenty of interviews.


I mean, um, aced plenty of interviews. Heh!


Man...


(Bones cracking)


Egypt sure is cramped!


Can't be late for the interview!


I see you, maggot!


No loitering!


Kids should be banned from our retail outlets.


They're like wild dogs, shedding and drooling everywhere!


That'll attract a higher wage-earning clientele.


And richer customers equal greater profits!


Seriously? You liked that idea?


No washrooms in my stores!


Employees can pee on their own time!


That'll cut down building costs.


I'll only be in my office when my Irritable Bowel Syndrome


isn't flaring up, and it's always flaring up!


(Farting) Oh, yeah!


Reduced accessibility equals greater oversight.


You really know your business strategy, Mr. Wong!


(Farting)


No sugar and cream in my break rooms,


'cause there are no breaks!


That'll save % in overhead.


You've got to be kidding me!


I never joke when I offer someone a job.


You're hired!


What's your fave colour?


And what's your take on space aliens?


I've totally seen 'em.


This is all a bit unorthodox, but okay.


Dark blue.


And yes,


I believe in the concept of life on other planets.


Great answers, Mr. Dude!


Mr. Wong.


Exactly.


Just one more question.


What would you do if a kid did a reverse ollie off the counter


in one of your Rutts stores?


Hmm?


Probably start clapping?


I used to be quite the 'boarder,


though in my day it was a long board.


You're so hired!


Fantastic!


What?!


When can we discuss salary and location?


Uh, tell him, Lola!


Me?!


Oh, you're such a...


great boss!


Just go away now, we'll be in touch!


Don't call us, we'll call you!


Heh...


I did everything I could!


I even farted and poured cream on his head,


but the guy still loved me!


Of all the times for that to happen.


(Sighing) I guess Nikki really is leaving.


NIKKII'm so glad we're over!


Now I can concentrate on my studies.


(Burping)


Ugh, are you sure you can handle living with that brute?


(Belching)


Yep, living with "Jerksy" won't be easy.


Hey!


But I can turn a blind eye for the sake of my academic career.


Then, you may have a trial sleepover


before I make my final decision.


Sweet!


That young man looks familiar.


Uh, quick, somebody pull my finger!


(Farting)


(All sighing)


I always sleep on the left, so you can have the right.


Thanks, Jen.


Oops!


Wouldn't want to get ringalos!


(Crunching)


Chip?



No crummies in bed!


Crummies?


(Music playing on TV)


(Siren blaring) In the world of vehicular...


Yes! Law and JusticeTraffic Division is starting.


Ugh, you're still into cop shows?


I thought that was just a phase.


Oh, no, it's a passion!


I mark 'em all in this journal,


so we'll never miss a single episode!


She sh**t, she scores!


Jen takes the gold, silver and the bronze!


(Jen cheering)


Go, Jen! Go, Jen!


Please stop talking!


She steps up to the podium, every inch a champion...


(Moaning)


(Snoring)


That's number three, street meat!


You're outta the mall for good!


As soon as I find the right key.


(Munching)


(Tapping on window)


Ahhhh!


Nikki?!


I just sleepwalked into the pool!


I always sleepwalk when I'm stressed.


Relax. What've you got to stress about?


Okay, so your dad did get the new job.


And your family is moving to the North Pole.


Iqaluit, we're moving to Iqaluit.


As in Nunavut?


But it's cool,


'cause you're totally gonna wind up living here!


In Jen's room! Forever!


Sure, drip all over the floor, who cares?


It's not like anyone's going to do anything about it.


People can be so inconsiderate.


But don't worry, Jen will clean it up.


Oh, yeah, Jen takes care of everything..


NIKKIIqaluit or here... I'm doomed!


(Sobbing)


♪