03x70 - Bicker Me Not

[bunniefuu]

[ ♪ ]


Does your back pop when you bend?


Is the floor too far away to sit on?


Are you really old?


Try our incredible upright Stand n' Soak Tubs!


All of the water, none of the bending!


Look, George. Here's that tub I was telling you about.


Tub?


Why not just call it what it really is -- a deathtrap!


Thanks to the safety-release door,


you may prune but you'll never drown!


Forget it, Gracie. I'm not getting in to that crock pot!


But you'll loofah your wrinkled behind


in grandma's rusty old pickling vat?


It's vintage! So are you!


Let's try and stay on track.


Some of us are working on commission.


Fine, we'll get a claw foot tub.


Furniture with feet is unnatural.


Says the man with toes!


I need them for balance.


I never get any support from you.


Make some sense, then you'll get my support!


So you made a terrible mistake


getting married all those years ago.


We get it! Why not soak your problems away


in your very own Stand n' Soak Tub?


The kid's got a point.


We're just not right for each other.


What? No, I --


Fifty years together? What were we thinking!


Whoa, I didn't mean --


I'm sorry, George.


So am I, Gracie. Goodbye.


Wait!


Come back!


Does this mean you don't want the tub?


[ ♪♪♪ ]


[ ♪ ]


♪ LIFE BEGINS AFTER SCHOOL ♪


♪ THAT'S WHEN WE BEND ALL THE RULES ♪


♪ TIME TO HANG WITH ALL MY FRIENDS ♪


♪ WE LIKE TO BE TOGETHER


♪ IN A PLACE WHERE WE BELONG! ♪


♪ I'M TEEN, STARTING TO FIND MY WAY ♪


♪ GOT A NEW JOB, GONNA START AT THE MALL TODAY ♪


♪ THANK GOD I'M ON MY OWN FOR THE FIRST TIME ♪


♪ I'M TEEN, LIFE IS SWEET ♪


♪ WHEN YOU'RE GROWING UP SO FAST ♪


♪ YOU GOTTA MAKE THE GOOD TIMES LAST ♪


[ ♪ ]


♪ I'M TEEN...


♪ GOTTA MAKE THE GOOD TIMES LAST ♪


[ ♪ ]


[ ♪ ]


Let me get this straight.


You broke up a fifty-year marriage


in your rush to sell a bath tub?


It would have been a sweet commission.


What fifty-year marriage?


George & Gracie. AKA The Bickersons.


Jonesy, they're really old.


How could you?


It's hard enough dating when you're sixteen,


imagine how hard it'll be for them!


Fix it with George and Gracie,


or I'm not speaking to you!


But Nikki -- AAAGGH!


My grandparents got married fifty years ago.


Never did meet them,


on account of the fact they were political rebels


who went into hiding.


They must be as old as the Bickersons by now.


Gracie does have straight hair, like moi.


And George totally walks like me!


Check it!


Yeah, wow... just like George.


And every other human.


Dudes!


What if George and Gracie are my grandparents?


If they break up, I might never be born!


What?


No, Jude, it doesn't work like that, see --


A Jude-less world? That makes no sense!


Neither does this!


Even if they are your grandparents, it doesn't mean --


DUDES! I NEED TO BE BORN!!


Okay, I give up.


Oooh, nice gym bag!


Christian Lior.


Who's "Kevin"?


He's probably the other guy who works here.


He's obviously in shape


plus he's got great taste!


I can't believe you've worked here all this time


and you've never met your coworker.


It's so romantic!


We're like two lemons who pass in the night!


I bet Kevin's pretty handsome.


Ooh, or even better, handsome pretty.



[ sighs ]


Maybe I'll write him a little note to say hello


from the other side of the lemon shift!


Careful, you're flirting blind.


Please. With this bag?


I've seen everything I need to see.


I'd better get to work.


One lemonade please, dear.


Coming right up!


This will be my first lemonade in years.


George hates the smell of citrus.


I don't mean to pry but I heard what happened.


How are you?


Mostly I'm wondering where it all went wrong.


You know what you need? A makeover!


Honey, I'm .


There isn't enough rouge in the world to fix this mug.


Makeup has healing powers.


Whenever I feel cruddy, I buy a new lip gloss


and it cheers me right up!


I guess things can't get any worse.


Yay! A makeover!


[ ♪ ]


Um... one more coat!


Okay, you're done!


I - I don't believe it.


I don't look a day over sixty-five!


You know what'll go well with your new face?


A new outfit!


I wouldn't know where to begin.


Luckily, I do!


Whoa. There's my granddad!


You mean your Could-Be-Granddad?


I bet we even talk the same?


Y'mean English?


It feels good to be rid of the ole ball n' chain!


Now I can get back to what I was doing


before Gracie came along


and ruined my whole stinking life.


Dude's happy without the Misses.


This could mean the world will soon be...


Jude-less!


Hey guys. This is Gracie,


and she needs our help getting back into the dating scene.


This is a terrible idea, Caitlin.


We're just hipifying her wardrobe.


First of all, "hipifying"? Not a word.


Second of all, since when do we want Gracie


back in the dating scene.


Gracie deserves to join the th century.


You mean the st century.


No, I mean the th century.


That's how far behind she is!


Fine, I'll see what I can pull together.


Toot Toot! Trainwreck, all aboard!


Ol' George is back in the game again!


Being an usher was my first job,


right here in this very mall!


Of course, the theatre only had one screen back then.


Piece of crap!


Gracie made me quit because she didn't think it was a "real job."


Good thing I finally tossed that old bat to the curb!


George got his first job at the mall!


Me too!


Must be genetic.


How do I look?


Wow, you look better than me in those capris.


It's true!


Hey! I was just being nice,


no need to jump in so quickly.


I suppose I do look pretty good for an old bird.


Who knew old people could look so cute!


You're going to open up a whole new Khaki market --


you're hired! Okay!


Come again?!


Eeee!


Eeee!


Ooh! My back!


Poor Gracie! Here, sit down.


Hopping? "Eee"-ing?


Where's the bickering and complaining?


Maybe Gracie's happy.


Well, she's not acting like herself.


What's it to you, girlfriend?


Nice use of the lingo, Gracie!


If you want to succumb to peer pressure, be my guest.


This from a girl who doesn't even know where to put an earring.


It's called a nose ring.


It's called a staph infection!


You're not my mother!


Thank heavens for small mercies!


ARGHHHH!


Wow, I feel better now. Thanks!


Seems like she's back to her old self.


He sh**t, he scores! In your face, Edgar!


This is the life!


It's nine o'clock already?


I haven't been up this late since Armstrong landed on the moon.


And that was over by six!


Dude...



Oh, hey Jude.


How goes the grandparent stalking?


George watched the moon landing dude


and I love space... it all fits!


George and Gracie are my grandparents!


Which means --


Your very existence is in jeopardy?


Can you still see me, bro?!


How about now?


No, because I'm leaving.


Hey! Did you get a reply from your mysterious co-worker yet?


Just a blank sheet of paper.


Come to think of it, I find a lot of blank sheets lying around.


Maybe Kevin didn't see your note?


I'll write another one!


NO!


No way, this is a note!


Kevin's been writing notes all this time,


but he's used invisible ink.


For your eyes only. Nice.


Eee!


"Dear mysterious co-worker, I've been waiting so long for you to contact me.


"Tell me about yourself.


"I MUST know everything!"


Oh, look, there's a questionnaire.


Allow me.


"I'm a huge fan of"...


Mall-wide sales.


"I'm really against"...


Matching plaids and paisleys.


"I'm really afraid of"...


Socks and sandals.


Kevin's getting to know the real me!


Dude, ya gotta help me.


Once you go upright, you never get uptight!


Forget the tub, bro.


You gotta get George and Gracie back together!


Check it.


I'm already starting to disintegrate!


I'll do it.


But not because you're insane.


I'll do it because Nikki still isn't talking to me,


which royally sucks.


Jonesy! That's an eight thousand dollar tub!


And worth every penny!


What are you doing?


Chillin'. You're fired!


Do me a solid, bro?


I'm a little... under-dressed.


Bro!!


Things were said, mistakes were made --


mostly by me - but we all know you belong with Gracie.


That harpy? HA! Good riddance!


Oh come on.


You can't tell me you don't miss her?


Forget it, son. It's falling on deaf ears.


Even if you can't hear me,


you can still talk to me.


For the last time, I'm fine!


[ ♪ ]


Whoa. Who's that hot tamale?


Uh, that would be Gracie.


Gracie? My Gracie?


[ giggling ]


Why is that old man staring at us?


Ignore him. He's nobody.


[ laughing ]


Oh, I'm not fine!


Poor you.


The Jonesmeister will get the two of you back together


if it's the last thing I do!


[ ♪ ]


Where's Jonesy?


I can already feel myself existing less, dude!


Can you still hear me when I make a sound?


[ burps ]


Didn't think so.


What happened to you?


Gracie.


That woman is a bickering vampire.


She keeps baiting me into arguments and then sucking me dry.


"Potato chips are too crispy!"


"Music is too catchy!"


"Corks are too porous!"


I've never been so exhausted in my life!


That is so fetch, girlfriend.


Oh no, here she comes.


Hey, Gracie. Lookin' good!


Too bad I can't say the same about Nikki's hair.


Can't you just leave it alone?


I'm on a break.


When I was your age, we didn't take breaks.


Well, child labour laws have improved


since the industrial revolution.


What an attitude on this one.


No wonder her boyfriend left.


He didn't leave, we're just not talking!


Meh. Same diff.


ARGHHHHH!


You must miss George terribly.



No way!


Now that I've got Nikki,


George is outta sight, outta mind!


Come on girls!


We need to find us some more hotties!


[ disembodied voice ] Out of sight... out of mind...


Ahhhh!!!!


[ whimpering ] [ whimpering ]


"Thank you for your last note, mysterious co-worker."


Why don't you just tell Kevin your name?


So he doesn't have to keep calling you 'mysterious co-worker'.


I thought it was more romantic this way.


Oh, I'm too nervous, I-I can't!


Here, you read.


[ Texas accent ] "To answer your question, I'm originally from Texas


[ Italian accent ] but spent most of my childhood in Sicily.


I cannot wait to meet you.


Me neither!


Gracie's not here, you're safe.


Yeah, yeah, but for how long?


Answer me that!


You guys, Kevin is so incredible!


So you finally met your mystery Lemon man?


Not yet.


But his letters are amazing.


This is my first ever long distance relationship!


I've finally found my soulmate!


Caitlin, you're only sixteen.


I know, the clock was seriously starting to tick!


Kev and I have so much in common.


We both love working out and great bags!


Before you start making wedding arrangements,


maybe you two should actually meet.


Already on it!


Yo, anyone seen Nikki?


Great news!


I convinced George to go back to Gracie.


You can start talking to me now.


I suggest opening with an heartfelt apology.


[ groans ]


Doesn't sound like an apology to me?


Gracie was ready to go back to George


until she bonded with Nikki.


Now Nikki's her substitute George.


Nikki!


They're really old! How could you?


Oh no, I think I hear Gracie coming!


Stop pointing out my flaws!


I can't hear you! I can't hear you!


I'm not listening! I'm not listening!


Whoa, Nikki's really starting to lose it.


Man, I've got to get the Bickersons back together ASAP


before we lose Nikki for good.


Okay, meeting in the atrium in ten minutes sharp!


I've gathered you all here because certain unfortunate events


have put Nikki in a difficult position.


Events like Jonesy breaking up George and Gracie?


Now's not the time to point fingers!


Not when Nikki's on the verge of complete crackage!


Jonesy's right.


Let's focus on getting Gracie and George back together.


Caitlin, I'll put you in charge of atmosphere.


I won't let you down!


Dudes!


I can already see through my shoes!


Jude, you're wearing flip-flops.


Now that you're almost invisible, Jude,


I've got the perfect job for you.


Oh, Gracie.


If only this floor was your face,


I'd buff it so clean you could eat right off it.


This is a job for the invisible dude.


Dear Georgie.


[ gasps ] Only Gracie calls me Georgie...


Where's Kevin?


I told him to meet me at the fountain at break time.


Who's break time.


He's not even working today.


Rats!


I have to go write Kevin another note now.


And when it comes to parsley, I mean, what's the point?


When it comes to bickering, what's the point?


It's called having a discussion.


Or am I going over your head?


ARGHHH!


What's this? "Dear Gracie"...


George NEVER calls me 'dear'.


[ gasps ] I have a secret admirer


and he wants to take me out for dinner!


Oh, I'd better get ready!


Please let this work.


Wow, Caitlin. Way to set a table.


It was inspired by love.


Speaking of which, I'm off to meet Kevin!


For real this time.


Hello, my name is Jonesy and I'll be your waiter this evening.


♪ Romance is on the breeze


♪ When lovers taunt and tease


How lovely. I'm totally psyched.


Gracie!?



I came for dinner with my secret admirer, not some lame-o!


Make fun of the old man, is that it?


Uh, Wyatt?


♪ When lovers reunite -- and they should --


♪ the evening sky's alight


[ dials phone ]


Yo, what's up?


Okay, this time Kevin's definitely standing me up.


What did you say in your note?


Meet me at the fountain at seven.


A.M. or P.M.?


Nuts!


I beg you! Have a seat!


I'm not sitting anywhere near that crum bum!


She can fall down a well for all I care!


He's the reason anti- depressants were invented!


Her morning breath's the reason gas masks were invented!


Great!


Ruining things the first time wasn't enough for you?


Thought you'd go for round two?


I'm trying to get them back together!


And how's that working for you?


You make my skin crawl like I'm wearing a wool sweater!


What did wool ever do to deserve you?


You always undermine everything I do.


Not everything, just the stupid stuff!


It's like they're the same couple - fifty years apart.


Are they back together yet?


Uh, not quite.


I can totally see through my fingers!


You make every day a misery!


At least I'm consistent!


It would be nice if you were my cheerleader for once!


Forget it!


You're not getting me into a short skirt!


I guess you're stuck with me then!


No, you're stuck with me! Ha!


Yeah, and another thing --


Wait! Did they just --


Nikki, the Bickerson's made up!


They did?


Pick up your feet, you're scuffing your shoes.


They're my shoes, I'll scuff 'em if I want to.


They're totally back together!


Awww!


OW! Totally solid.


I exist!


[ strumming guitar ]


Oh! Kevin?


It's me, your mysterious coworker Caitlin.


Are you as excited as I am?


Well I really love your top.


It's so cute!


I was going to say the same thing about your outfit!


It's like, you're the other half of my lemon!


From your letters, I just thought you were more, guy-ish.


Like a tomboy?


No, like a guy.


Your letters were so butch.


Caitlin - "butch"?


Caitlin - a "guy"?


Surely we can work through our differences!


You haven't even had a chance to fall in love with me yet!


Sorry, I think we're looking for the same thing.


Oh I know, isn't that -- Goodbye.


But -- Guys!


Help me convince Kevin we're meant for each other!


Well...


Uh...


Y'see...


Oh get with it girlfriend!


Kevin plays for the other team.


What? Ooooohhhh!


Don't waste the pretty.


Like I did.


Can't waste what you didn't have in the first place!


I really missed you, Georgie Porgie.


Right back at ya, Gracie Spacey big fat facey.


Had to go and ruin it!


I just call 'em like I see 'em!


Think we'll ever be like that?


If we're lucky Jonesy Wonsey.


[ ♪ ]