[soft piano music playing]
[Daniel] In Herman Williams'
seminal work on the joys
of being a model train
hobbyist, he writes,
"Many an hour have I spent"
"blissfully lost in a world
of my own creation."
"For the model train enthusiast,"
"there exists a secret world
of order and symmetry."
"Nestled into the corners
of our basements and attics,"
"we lord over a world"
"where the hobbyist
plays omnipotent creator."
"There, in 1:87 scale,"
"the neighbors are always kind,"
"the lovers
always end up together,"
"and the trains always
take you to the far-off places"
"you always swore you'd go."
In life, of course,
nothing is nearly
as neat and tidy.
[woman singing]
Well, if you close the door
[piano music playing]
The night could last forever
And keep the sunshine out
And say hello to never
'Cause all the people
are dancing
And they're having such fun
I wish it could happen to me
- [piano music pauses]
- [cheering, laughing]
- So baby close that door
- [piano music resumes]
And never have to see
the day again
Oh, yeah
I'd never have to see
the day again
That's right
Sing!
I'd never have to see
the day again
[all whooping and cheering]
- [plays glissando]
- Encore, Allie!
- No!
- [others groan]
I am way too drunk
to be singing
in front of people.
Aw, but we love you! Come on!
And I wanna keep it that way.
Um, okay. That was
for my beautiful, sweet,
darling fiance, Nathan.
[laughter]
Who loves that song very much.
Bubba, you wanna come up here?
- No. [chuckles]
- [all laughing]
[Allison] Come on!
It's our engagement party.
He's very shy!
[all chanting]
Nathan! Nathan! Nathan!
Nathan! Nathan! Nathan! Nathan!
[whooping]
[guests] Mm! Ah! Mm!
- Did you like it?
- It was amazing.
[Nathan inhales deeply]
- Hey, y'all...
- [laughter]
Um, I'll just briefly say that
she played that song for me
on our very first date
on a beautiful,
old piano she found
at the back of an empty bar.
- Well, you better go, girl!
- Come on. Come on!
- Always be closing.
- [Molly] Absolutely!
Welcome to the family!
- Allison... [chuckles]
- Yes... [chuckles]
Every memory I cherish
in my life has you in it.
Some of them
are just tiny seconds.
The way you close one eye
when you really wanna focus
on tasting something.
- [guests laugh]
- I do that. I do that.
I go, like...
[guests laughing]
[laughing]
I can't believe this is real.
It's real, baby.
- Thank God.
- [Allison] Mm.
- I love you.
- I love you.
[all] Aw.
- Okay.
- Hey...
- Um... Drink, smoke, be merry.
- [man] Yeah.
And if you choose
to sleep with Chip,
make sure he wears,
like, 11 condoms.
[all exclaiming]
I'm, like, literally a virgin.
- [others laughing]
- He's kidding. He's kidding.
- ["Time" playing]
- Time keeps on coming
I've been all around
[lighter clicking]
I'll keep on loving...
No! No, no, no.
- No. Come on, baby. No phone.
- Oh.
When we get married,
we have to make rules
- about phones in the bed.
- [scoffs]
Oh, shut up.
You are on your phone,
like, ten times more than me,
looking up rusty old trucks.
Uh, a '67 cloth top Bronco
is a work of art, baby.
It's not a truck.
- I'm looking at art.
- Yeah. Oh.
- Like this butt.
- [Allison laughing]
I am so high
from that gummy you gave me.
- What the f*ck was that?
- [Nathan chuckling]
I still can't feel my ankles.
You don't need your ankles
right now.
Yeah, but I would
still like to feel my ankles.
Hey, come kiss me.
- Hey, babe?
- Yeah?
This creepy doctor
from my sales list
is really trying to flirt
with me on Instagram.
[inhales sharply] Maybe you
gave him the wrong impression.
What?
Come on! As if!
I go in there, and I'm, like,
waving
my engagement ring around.
You always say, "Flirting
is a part of the job."
Someone's bound to get
the wrong impression.
It's very light flirting.
- Ah, okay. [laughs]
- It is!
It's like... It's just...
It's sushi with a smile,
so that he can write
the f*cking prescription,
and I can get a fat bonus,
and then
you and I can maybe one day
move to the city.
If we don't go to hell first.
Oh! Why would you say that?
- Come on!
- I'm sorry.
I'm only pushing HUMIRA, like,
I won't go to hell for
moderate to severe psoriasis.
Come on.
That would be so unfair.
Yeah, yeah.
Shut up.
- Okay. Hey.
- Mmm.
It's just a stepping
stone, baby.
I know.
Do you think it's too late
for astronaut school?
- [laughing]
- What?
- What?
- Nothing.
I could be
a professional dancer.
- Oh, word?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- You got them moves?
- Ooh.
- [laughs]
- Wait, let me stand up.
I'm way better when I stand up.
- Okay.
- It's so much better
when I stand up.
- Are you ready?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Whoa.
- What genre is this?
I don't know,
but my body just goes...
[Nathan] Go.
Is this modern, right? [laughs]
- This is professional.
- Wow.
So I would appreciate it
if you took me seriously
right now.
I'm taking you very seriously.
And then, we'll finish
with something like this.
- [Allison humming]
- [laughs]
But I'm not gonna
show you anymore,
because it's a work-in-progress.
And the professional is tired,
and I wanna cuddle.
Came into this life
on my own
And I'll try Yes I'll try
Hope for love
turn out the light
And I gave my own life
My own life, my own life
[truck horn blaring]
[Allison]
Oh, calm the f*ck down.
I swear, this road has been
under construction
my entire life.
When will New Jersey be done?
- She's a work-in-progress.
- Never.
[chuckles] Oh, by the way,
how's Ryan doing?
Oh, you mean your future niece?
[gasps] Oh, my goodness.
She's so pretty!
Yeah, the varsity coach said
she might start next year.
- Oh, yeah?
- [Jesse] Mmm-hmm.
She scored 19 goals last season!
- Tell her. Tell her.
- Wow!
Oh, my God.
You must be so proud of her.
I can't believe
I haven't met her.
I'm so sorry Nathan and I
haven't made it down there yet.
Don't worry about it.
I mean, it's far.
We're gonna try to come up
more often
now that our dad's
getting older.
[Allison] Yeah.
Well, I've only met
your dad a few times,
but that we can't blame
on distance. [chuckles]
This is f*cking nuts. I'm sorry.
Wait, so tell us about
these wedding dresses
we're seeing.
Yes, please. I couldn't sleep
last night thinking about it.
- [laughs] Shut up!
- You are such a good sport.
No, he isn't. He just thinks
that after we see dresses,
- we're going to go...
- Yeah?
- On a pub crawl.
- [Jesse] Mmm-hmm.
But actually
we're going to see a play.
- You are?
- No, we're not.
You said that we'd have
to get tickets already.
No. We just gotta see some
shit nobody else wants to see.
- [laughing]
- Oh, great. That's awesome.
- Yeah, right?
- Great. Great.
Hey, look,
it's finally opening up.
All right, so I think
it might be a little tight
getting you to a play,
but, um, let me just check...
- Okay, so now it's saying...
- [back-up alarm bleeping]
Allie!
- [Jesse] Look out!
- [tires screech]
[device chimes]
Here we are.
You got me here so early.
Yeah, well, it's
better to be a half-hour early
than one minute late.
[chuckles]
Grandpa, have you ever played
any video games?
- No. [scoffs]
- [chuckles]
You've got that perfect
little brain up there
and you're just melting it
away with that crap.
Okay.
- [automated voice] Nathan.
- [cell phone ringing]
[Ryan] It's Uncle Nathan.
Answer it.
Why would he be calling me?
Pick it up.
[sighs] Thought we weren't
talking anymore.
[video game sound effects
playing]
Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Nathan. Nathan.
I've... I've got
Ryan here in the car.
I'm just dropping her off
at school.
I'll call you right back.
Yes, I heard what you said.
I'm headed right there.
I just gotta drop her off, okay?
See, that wasn't so bad.
Mom says she wishes you guys
could find a way to get along.
I... I've...
I've got to leave, sweetie.
But I look like a dork
being here this early.
I'm sorry.
I'll, uh...
I'll be picking you up today.
Why can't Mom?
She said they'd be back
from the city today, right?
Well...
- she can't.
- [sighing] Okay.
I'll text her.
[Daniel] Okay.
Okay. Bye.
Tell me you love me.
I love you, Grandpa.
I love you too.
[chuckles]
- Bye.
- Bye.
[somber music playing]
[car door closes]
[sighs]
[machine beeping]
[Allison weakly] Mom,
my head hurts so much.
I can't even explain
how much pain my head's in.
[Diane] Can you click
on the morphine again?
I've been clicking on it.
I'm clicking on it,
and nothing is happening.
Oh, sh**t, you're right.
It is empty.
We gotta get more.
We'll have to get the nurse
to get us more.
Nathan, why are you
looking at me like that?
Like what?
Is it bad? Do I look that bad?
No, he's just upset, sweetheart.
He's upset 'cause we've been
- so worried all night long.
- [Allison] Okay. Okay.
This backhoe thing just reversed
into the middle of the street.
[Diane] I know, I know.
[Allison] I didn't know
what to do.
I know, but you don't have to
worry about that right now.
- Right, Nathan?
- Yeah.
No, you just need to focus
on getting better.
That's all you need
to think about, okay?
- [Allison] Okay.
- Right, Nathan?
- Yeah.
- [Nurse] Sorry to interrupt,
but the police are here
to collect a blood sample.
Oh, no. Absolutely not.
Now is not a good time.
She is in a lot of pain.
- You have to come back.
- No.
- [Nathan] She just woke up.
- Why are the police here?
Unfortunately, I can't.
Legally, the sample has to be
drawn as soon as possible.
We waited for her to stabilize,
but with an accident like this,
it's imperative we test...
What is he talking about?
It wasn't my fault.
- Officer, she doesn't know.
- It wasn't her fault.
With an accident
of this magnitude
involving fatalities,
we're required...
- She hasn't been told.
- Fatalities?
She hasn't been told,
- you f*cking assh*le!
- [whispers] f*ck.
- [Diane] She didn't know.
- Mama, what's going on?
- I'm so sorry, honey.
- What is he talking about?
I'm so sorry.
[Allison] Nathan?
Nathan, what's going on?
They're gone.
They're both gone.
Who's gone?
[Diane] Honey...
[melancholy music playing]
[sighs] No, Mom.
[gasping]
[voice breaking] Why, Mom?
[Diane] I'm so sorry, honey.
[melancholy music continues]
["Wake Up With The Sun" playing]
Wake up with
the sun in morning
Go to sleep with
the moon at night...
[on speaker]
Hey, guys! Bella here.
Welcome to my bathroom!
Today, we're gonna learn
to cut our own hair.
So let's jump in.
To get started,
we grab this first front layer
just like this.
And put your scissors
at, like, a slight angle.
Okay, it's now or never.
[chuckles]
Go for it!
What their purpose
is on earth
To love and be
loved in return...
f*ck.
[Bella] You nailed it!
You're officially a stylist
just like me!
Now, go ahead
and grab the same layer
on the other side.
And just go for it!
Okay. [sighs]
Happiness comes from inside
At the center
of your mind...
f*ck.
[Bella] Does it look even?
Uh...
Not exactly. No.
Good job. You look amazing!
Thank you.
You can change
the darkest day
Simply by
the things you say...
Wow...
Oooh oooh ooh
I love it.
[indistinct tv chatter]
Oh, my God. Allie,
what the hell is all this?
You have got to stop buying
all this crap.
Yeah, well, one of them
is an acrylic nail set
that I know you'll appreciate
more than I will.
And the others
are ankle weights.
Remember? We said we were
gonna get in shape?
Oh, my God.
Allie, what the hell
did you do to your hair?
What? It's makeover Monday.
- It's Friday.
- Oh.
- It's so dark in here.
- No, please, don't open that.
Mama, that is so bright!
[Diane] Did you go
to physical therapy today?
Um, well, I tried to,
- but I overslept.
- Allie...
What? I don't need PT. I don't.
Allie, your hair.
You don't like it?
I just don't understand why
you would cut your own hair.
Well, the girl said
it was easy, and it was not.
What girl?
This girl on the Internet.
She's an influencer.
She influenced me.
Such a pigsty in here.
I am not happy about this.
Hey, Mama, can you tell me
where my pills are?
Which ones?
We said we were going to
wean off of them. Remember?
- Did we?
- Yes.
Because "we" are in pain
and "we" need more.
They're not gonna
give you more, Allie.
- They have to!
- No, they don't.
I need them!
Listen to me.
You're not in physical pain anymore.
Have you been doing
the tapping thing
that that one shrink taught you?
Remember?
For anxiety and stress,
and it calms you down on the...
- eyes, and then the lips.
- Mom!
[Diane] Or play your piano.
That always cheers you up.
I don't wanna talk
about this, please.
I have the worst headache!
Can you just stop?
Can you call the doctors
and help me, please?
Which one? Patel?
He said no more.
Okay, well, f*ck Patel.
f*ck Patel!
How about Goldberg, or...
or Fong?
- Allie...
- Please, Mom.
- Just call 'em. Just help me.
- You're being a little...
- No.
- Just help me, please.
Guess what? They all said "no."
Patel. Goldberg.
Fong. Rosenberg.
Okay, well, I'll try Vromen.
He loves me.
Vromen is an orthodontist.
Yeah, but he used to
flirt with me
when his fingers were really
deep inside my mouth,
and it was very inappropriate,
and so, he really owes me one.
Allie, I don't like
how you're acting.
You know what? Enough is enough.
You gotta get out
of this living room,
take off your pajamas,
and get your ass,
and go get a job.
I'm sick of this crap.
As if you have any right
lecturing me
on medicating myself.
What is that supposed to mean?
It means, Mom, you're such
a f*cking hypocrite!
You don't think that I clock
how many Xanax you take?
Or how many glasses of wine
you drink?
You think I'm just a zombie
that doesn't notice anything,
but I notice
f*cking everything! I see you.
So, can I have my pills, please?
You're not listening.
There's no more.
[breathes heavily]
[Diane] You get right back here,
- you little brat!
- No!
What in the hell do you think
you are doing?
Get out of there!
- Get out of there!
- [Allison] Get off me!
- No! Get out of there!
- Let go!
- [Diane] What are you doing?
- No! Are they in here?
- [Diane] Get back! Cut it out!
- You are hurting me!
[Diane] Stop it!
- Stop it! Put that back!
- [grunts] Mom!
No.
- Open the door.
- No.
- Open the f*cking door!
- Stop it! Stop it.
- Mom, let me out.
- No.
Let me out. Let me out!
Mama!
- No! Stop it!
- Give me those... Ow.
- Stop it!
- [Diane] Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow.
- You f*cking crazy little brat.
- [Allison] No!
[groans]
Shit!
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Mama, no! Please. No!
Why the f*ck did you do that?
I'm in pain!
I don't give a shit!
Your daughter is in actual pain!
I don't give a shit!
I f*cking hate you so much!
[Diane] You're bleeding!
[panting]
You get back here right now.
- ALLISON: Leave me alone.
- You come back here.
- ALLISON: Leave me alone.
- I'm gonna grab your...
[arguing continues]
[Allison]
Leave me the f*ck alone!
[Diane] I'm not gonna leave you
the f*ck alone,
- you little brat.
- Ugh!
[mellow music playing]
Allison!
- Leave me alone!
- [Diane] Where are you going?
Leave me alone!
[panting]
[crowd applauding and cheering]
[Daniel] Let's go, Ryan!
Attagirl! Attagirl!
[crowd groans]
f*ck! [sighs]
So you're the Ryan
that's been talking to Damien?
Get the f*ck outta my face.
See, you talk to people
like that, bitch,
that's why you have
no f*cking friends.
Why are you hitting on me, huh?
Uh, I'm not the one
named "Ryan."
It's a f*cking d*ke's name.
You a d*ke?
- Only when I f*ck your mother.
- Oh, at least I have a mother.
What the f*ck
did you just say to me?
Hey!
Stay away from Damien,
you f*cking whore.
Hey!
Break that up, Ref!
- [Ryan grunts]
- [whistle blowing]
[referee] Break it up.
Break it up!
Hey!
[whistle continues blowing]
[referee] Hey! That's it!
You're both out. Red card.
[Daniel] Ryan,
what the hell was that?
[huffs] I quit.
[tearfully] I quit.
I hate this f*cking game.
Why? Because you got in a fight?
Come on, that's not you.
You're tough.
You're not a quitter.
- She made fun of Mom.
- What?
She said,
"At least I have a mom."
Well, f*ck her.
Well...
And what kind of a punch
was that?
You throw this hard right hook
and then you leave yourself
wide open for the jab.
We're gonna have to work
on that.
[mellow music playing]
[breathing heavily]
Hi.
I'm here to get
a prescription refilled.
Last name, Johnson.
Birthday, August 24th.
Okay. For which medication?
Uh... The Oxy. OxyContin.
It says here
you are out of refills.
I see you've been on them
for over a year now.
Your doctor's probably trying
to wean you off of them.
As I'm sure you know,
they can be very addictive.
Oh, really?
I hadn't f*cking heard that.
Sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Listen...
I was in a really bad
car accident,
and I need them,
because I'm in a lot of pain.
Just now?
What? No.
Your elbow is bleeding.
Oh, shit. Look, it's fine.
Let me go get you a bandage.
I don't need
a f*cking bandage. It's fine.
Then take this.
Oh, my goodness.
Thank you so much. Thank you.
I feel so much better now.
Thank you.
f*cking bitch.
[hip-hop song playing]
[instructor on speaker] Burn,
but guess what that burn is?
That burn is in your soul.
It is lifting you up.
You are climbing that mountain
and you are reaching
higher heights
than you ever have before.
Keep pedaling.
[breathing heavily]
[unnerving music playing]
[inhales sharply]
[sniffles]
[gurgles]
[swallows]
[exhales sharply]
[whimpers]
[panting]
[back-up alarm beeping]
[horn blaring]
[gasping]
[panting]
[mellow music playing]
- [gasps] Hi.
- Hi!
- Hey!
- Hi!
- [giggles]
- [Allison] Hi.
Oh, my God. I love your hair!
- It is so chic. Who did it?
- Ah, thank you! Um...
I, uh, got a new gal.
Well, I gotta get her number.
[laughs]
Okay.
Oh, I was so happy
that you reached out.
Because you weren't responding
to any of my texts.
Of course, I wanted
to give you your space,
but I was worried.
- [waiter] Hi, good morning.
- Hey!
Can I get you anything?
Uh, yeah. Can I please get
a Jack and Coke?
Uh...
Sorry, our bar doesn't
actually open until 11:00.
Oh.
Uh, okay. In that case,
I'll get a black coffee.
- Oat milk latte.
- You got it.
So, how's, how's work?
You're still at Purdue, right?
- Still repping Purdue.
- Yeah.
You'd think it would've been
a shit show
because of the bankruptcy
and all the lawsuits.
- Mm.
- But, between you and me,
my numbers
have actually increased.
Wow.
My bonus last quarter
was insane.
- It sells itself. [chuckles]
- Yeah.
Karl Marx was wrong.
Turns out
the opiate of the masses
is opium.
[both chuckle]
Anyway.
How are you doing?
When are you going back to work?
[smacks lips] Listen,
I'm just gonna cut right to it
because you're my friend
and I know
you're gonna understand.
Um...
I'm still in a lot of pain.
Oh, Allie...
I know, and my docs
are cutting my Oxy scripts
because everyone's
really freaked out
about addiction these days.
Uh... [hesitates]
So, I was wondering
if it would be possible...
Allie, please tell me
you didn't invite me
to breakfast
to hit me up for pills.
No.
- No, no, no, no, no.
- [sighs]
It's just until I can get in,
and see my docs.
Um, because my f*cking mother,
she threw my last refill
into the toilet, so...
No way.
Are you f*cking
with me right now?
No.
If you have a problem,
you need to get some help.
I can help you
find the right rehab.
Please don't hand me a pamphlet.
I already have one.
Well, then find them
on the street if you have to.
Every dive bar
in this town's got a guy
with a pharmacy
in his front pocket.
You know, Becka,
I really didn't want to do this.
But...
there's a handful of things
that happened
at your bachelorette party
that I'm pretty sure
you want to be kept private.
Allison, are you trying
to blackmail me for OxyContin?
I'm just asking you for help.
Like, as a friend.
But you did blow that dancer.
[chuckles]
It happened for a second.
I know, I know.
But you did it, and I saw.
It never went in my mouth.
It was in your mouth.
Past the tip.
Past the f*cking tip.
Allie, you need help.
Destroy my life if you have to.
But for the love of God,
get some f*cking help!
Okay, bye. f*ck you.
f*ck you!
[grunts]
Uh... I don't... Oh, f*ck.
[sighs]
I don't have any money.
I'm really sorry.
I can't pay for those.
That's okay. Take it.
I mixed in a little tequila
for you.
[slurps]
That's disgusting.
Thank you.
[woman] Mr. Adams,
we really wanna do
everything we can to help Ryan.
But she needs to take
some responsibility
for her behavior.
That girl does not listen
to a thing I say.
To be honest,
I was hoping
you were calling me in here
to give me some advice.
I need help.
[man] It's just that
we're a public school.
We have 2,000 kids
to look after.
We don't have the bandwidth
to micromanage her in ways
that she deserves and needs.
So, what are you saying?
I will give her an extra strike
because of the circumstances.
But if she doesn't tone down
her language
with her teachers
and gets into one more fight,
we'll have to expel her.
[chair scraps]
Hi, can I get
a double tequila, please?
Allison.
Yo, I know you.
It's Mark.
Yeah, hey.
Yeah.
I haven't seen you
since high school.
This is Diego.
You remember Diego?
- Hey.
- [Diego] Hey.
You just having
a little breakfast?
Uh... Um... I just...
I just needed
to get out of the house.
[chuckles] Yeah, I feel that.
I heard what happened to you.
The accident.
Saw it in the Star Ledger. Sorry.
What happened?
[Diego] She was in that
accident on the turnpike.
Two people died.
Holy shit.
That was you.
Oh, bro.
That would've f*cked me up.
It wasn't my fault.
Yeah, I'm sure.
But, like, still...
[Mark] Damn.
[exhales sharply] Hey, can I
have another one, please?
You having a tough day?
Just a day.
I just wanna get as far away
from here as possible.
Yo, there's this app,
it tells you the exact opposite
of where you are
on the globe is.
That's where you should go.
I'll look it up for you.
[Mark] Yo, that's how I feel
every f*ckin' day of my life.
I can't seem to escape
this town.
It's like there's
a force field around it
or something.
Like, some people know
how to get outta here.
But the rest of us,
we just keep banging our heads
up against the glass.
It's Perth. That's the city
on the other side of the globe
from here.
You should go to Perth.
I don't have enough money
to get to Perth,
but thank you.
Aren't you engaged
to Nathan Adams?
I was, yeah.
He was an amazing running back
in high school.
He used to run
every f*cking play.
- You remember him, Mark?
- [Mark] Yeah.
[Diego] Every f*cking play,
they'd come
on the PA system like,
"Nathan Adams,
the ball carrier."
He was the whole f*cking team.
You remember him, Mark?
Yeah, I remember him.
Isn't he deaf?
Uh... In one ear. Since birth.
Wow, that's impressive
that he could be, like,
that good, you know?
And half deaf.
So you're, like, single?
[Mark chuckles] Yo.
Shut the f*ck up, Diego.
What? You think
she's gonna date you?
Where are you gonna take her?
You live with your mom.
[chuckles] God damn.
Allison, I'm sorry.
My f*cking friend
has no tact at all.
[chuckles]
We're not used to having
pretty girls such as yourself
come in here.
So, you gotta excuse his
lack of decor.
Decorum.
What?
"Decor" is
the Bud Light lamp
above my head.
"Decorum" is his behavior.
Neither is currently ideal.
[men cheering]
Hey, can I ask you
something, like,
between us old friends?
You weren't our friend.
You were popular.
- You were a bitch, actually.
- All right. Diego.
That's old shit. Right, Allison?
We're past that.
We're grown-ups.
Those of us stuck behind
this force field,
- we gotta stick together.
- [Allison] Yeah.
Um, do you know
where I could get some Oxy?
[chuckling] God damn, girl.
No foreplay. No nothing.
No "How are you?
How's your family?"
No, we don't f*ck with pills.
I remember in high school
you were the guys
that could, like,
get anything.
And now you're just
buttering us up.
I don't have any money.
How are you gonna pay
for that tequila?
I hadn't got that far yet.
[sighs]
- Is that Rolex real?
- Wait a second.
Wait. Allie Johnson.
Miss lovely Allie Johnson.
[grunts]
You just stroll in here.
[chuckling] You got no money.
And you expect us
to get you Oxy?
For free, and then you want us
to pay for your drink.
Why the f*ck would we do that?
Nostalgia?
Old friends?
You thought you were
such hot shit in high school.
You're no f*cking different now.
All right. Shut up.
Sorry.
This guy. No decorum.
No, he's right.
I didn't think I was better
than you. I knew it.
I looked down on guys like you.
I thought you were Jersey trash
that would never be able
to make it out of town.
[snorts, laughs]
f*cking bitch.
But now you're sitting here
right beside us
and you're looking for a fix.
A favor.
The favor is a fix.
- You're a f*cking junkie now.
- No, I'm not.
- You're a f*cking junkie.
- No.
- [Mark] Yeah, you are.
- Yeah, you are.
Come on.
You're a f*ckin' junkie.
No. I'm not like you.
Allie Johnson,
you're so much more
like who you think we are
than we actually are.
Come on. Say it, say it, say it.
"I'm a f*cking junkie."
You might like it.
f*ck you. It's a pill.
It's heroin
in a pretty little dress.
I thought you were the nice one.
Why don't you say it?
Say... Say,
"I'm a f*cking junkie,"
and then I'll get you whatever
you want. Anything.
Say it. Just, like,
just come out with it.
I'm currently reliant...
No, that's not
what I f*cking said.
You sneaky little bitch.
That's not what I f*cking said.
- Is that what I said?
- No.
That is not what I said.
Say you're a f*ckin' junkie.
Look at me.
Look at me!
Look me in the eyes, and say,
"I'm a f*cking junkie."
Say it!
I'm a f*cking junkie.
Good girl.
Beth, I got these tequilas.
I'm sorry for raising my voice.
We're just catching up.
Allie, this is Beth.
She's divine. She's the best.
[soft music playing]
That's not Oxy.
Same shit.
[coughs hoarsely]
[inhales sharply]
[exhales]
[breathing heavily]
[vomits]
[groaning]
Thank you.
Ooh, she just walked in.
Oh, my God.
I was so worried about you.
Where were you?
- I'm so sorry.
- Oh, babe, oh.
- I'm sorry.
- Uh-huh. No...
I need help.
I know. I never should have
flushed those pills
down the toilet.
I had no right. I'm so sorry.
I was just so worried.
Can you help me, please, Mama?
Yes, yes, I already did.
Here, I got these from Linda.
She's the woman
who works next to me
in the toy kiosk at the mall.
Her doctor gave them to her
after she got punched
in the face by a shoplifter,
but she said
she didn't need them.
She swore by the neck brace.
But you need 'em, honey.
So here.
That right there is a gift
from Linda, okay?
And we can worry
about kicking it later.
Let's not rush things.
What matters the most
is that you're home safe.
Oh, babe. [kisses] Oh, my baby.
Hey, Ry?
[muffled music playing
on speaker]
Got Chinese food!
I got sweet and sour chicken,
beef with broccoli,
steamed rice.
Where are ya?
Hey, Ry?
Ryan!
[hip-hop music playing
on speaker]
[gasps] What the...
Daniel, get out!
- [boy whimpering]
- Hey. Hey!
[boy] Okay. Whoa, whoa! Okay.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down!
It's not what you think.
I'm pretty sure it is
what I think. How old are you?
Daniel! Get off of him.
Shut up!
I asked you a question, boy.
How old are you?
- I'm 20.
- She's 16, and I'm an ex-cop.
Looks like you picked
the wrong girl.
You're choking him!
She said she was 18 online.
If I ever catch you
near my granddaughter again,
I'm gonna rip
your f*cking d*ck off
and shove it down your throat.
You feel me?
[gasping] Yes, sir. Yes.
Get the f*ck out of here.
Yes, sir. Uh, I need my clothes.
They're in my house.
They're my clothes now.
Run away!
[Ryan] Daniel!
Get out of my f*cking room!
What the f*ck?
[loudly] Hey, look, everybody!
Statutory r*pist
from Williamsburg!
I need my keys!
Oh, his keys! His keys!
Look at him!
He's scrambling to his car!
Statutory r*pist!
Hey, Belinda,
I found this fool in bed
with my Ryan.
She said...
She said she was 18 online.
You're a fuckboy.
He's a fuckboy! That's what
the kids call them!
Get out of
our neighborhood, fuckboy!
[grunting] Okay. Okay!
[Belinda]
Get out of here, fuckboy!
All right! All right!
Right f*cking now!
- Wet, flaccid fuckboy!
- [boy] Okay, okay!
Okay!
I cannot believe
you just did that!
Give me your phone.
Give me the f*cking phone
right now!
You're grounded.
You hear me?
You're grounded until...
Shit, I can't think of
when you won't be grounded.
You can't just lock me up, Daniel.
For the last f*cking time, Ryan,
you call me "Grandpa."
[door slams]
[Ryan crying] I hate you!
I f*cking hate you!
[unnerving music playing]
[breathing shakily]
["To the Mountains" playing]
Oh, I'm headed
to the mountains
I'll be back
in a week or two
Don't you try to reach me
'Cause I won't
pick up for you
I've got some things
I neeed to do
Oh, I'm headed
to the mountains
The only place
I feel at peace
And I knew
you'd come after me
So I threw away your keys...
[indistinct chatter]
But I know you'd never go
when I say leave
I'm headed to the mountains
don't wait up for me
[Allison breathing heavily]
Allison, don't go.
- This was a mistake.
- No. No, it isn't.
Trust me, I know
how hard it is to get here.
It's damn near impossible,
and you did it.
Don't run away now
because of me.
There are thousands of meetings.
- I'll find another one.
- Well, yeah,
but this one
has the best snacks.
- I wanna go.
- No.
No, no. You've made it
this far, and I wouldn't.
I don't wanna be here.
Nobody does in the beginning.
[tearfully]
I don't wanna be anywhere.
Then you are definitely
in the right spot.
I thought you were sober.
Ten years.
I kinda slacked off
coming to regular meetings,
and then lately, I...
I realized I need the support.
Because of what happened?
No, no, no! No, it's...
Is the accident the reason
why you came back?
No, I just feel that...
Daniel, am I the reason
why you're back here?
Yes!
Yes, of course.
What the hell
do you want me to say?
- I'm sorry.
- No.
Look.
I got ten years,
and lately, I've been feeling
like I really,
really want a drink.
This works.
Thank you.
Um, I'm gonna find
somewhere else.
There are thousands
of these meetings.
Yeah, but somehow you found
your way to this one.
Now isn't that something?
All right, come on.
Come on.
Okay.
[woman] Everybody, welcome.
This is the regular meeting
of the Live and Let Live group
of Alcoholics Anonymous.
My name is Simone,
and I'm an alcoholic,
and your secretary.
Let us open the meeting
with the Serenity Prayer.
God...
[all] ...grant me the serenity
to accept the things
I cannot change,
the courage
to change the things I can,
and the wisdom
to know the difference.
Hey, you got up awfully early
this morning.
I went to an NA meeting.
- [gasps] What? You did?
- Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.
Oh, Allie.
I'm so happy to hear that.
[Allison] Well, I'm not saying
I'm gonna go again.
Well, you gotta start somewhere,
and sounds like you did.
- Mm-hmm.
- So that's good.
I don't know if I'll be able
to just quit, though, Mom.
I think I need real help,
like an in-patient program
or something.
Well, honey,
neither of us has insurance,
so how the hell are we
supposed to pay for that?
I mean, you gotta get a job.
Mom, who's gonna hire me
like this?
- Come on.
- Like, no...
What do you mean?
You're a beautiful
26-year-old woman.
- You're smart, you're funny...
- No, I'm not. No, I'm not.
- Yes, you are.
- No, I'm not.
That's the old me
you're describing.
You're still you.
No, I'm not! I'm...
[sighs] I'm something else.
I'm something...
Ugh. Um...
I was thinking, um...
You know how Dad was probably
gonna get me a wedding gift,
or, well, at least
he was gonna come, right?
Maybe instead of whatever it was
that he was gonna give me,
maybe he could help pay
for me to get help.
And so, I was wondering if you
would call him for me.
Allie, I will never speak
to that man as long as I live.
Do you know what he did?
He packed his car up,
and he left us with nothing.
But it is what it is, okay?
So, you gotta pull yourself up
by your bootstraps, now.
Thanks, Mom.
Yeah, I'm sorry
I can't get over this
as fast as you want me to.
- Allie...
- Nah.
[somber music playing]
[Daniel] Well, look who it is.
Hi, Dad.
What brings you to the less
glamorous side of the river?
Ryan asked me to come see her.
Turns out, she really
wanted me to talk to you.
- Oh?
- She's worried about you.
She's worried about me?
That girl's crazy.
She says she thinks
you need a friend.
Hell, I don't need a friend.
I need a dog crate
the size of a teenager.
Look, Nathan,
I understand your need
to move on after the breakup...
but, hell, I never imagined
I'd be doing this all by myself.
You raised two kids.
I had your mother.
And you and your sister were
much better behaved than Ry.
[Nathan scoffs]
What? Come on.
Speak your mind, son.
We were good because
we were terrified of you.
So, I'm not surprised
you don't have any tools
in your arsenal
since you lost
the only one that you had.
Fear.
I have apologized 100 times
to you for the way I was.
Your sister found a way
to give me another chance.
How come you can't?
'Cause Molly never really got
the brunt of it, did she?
I guarantee you that if
she was standing here now,
she would be begging you
to drop this shit,
and help me raise her child.
Well, she isn't.
No, she's not.
I have to catch the train.
I saw Allison.
Where?
Not supposed to say.
AA?
Not supposed to say.
What the hell
does she need AA for?
- I'm not supposed to...
- To say.
I got it.
Of all the meetings,
she ends up at yours?
She saw me,
she tried to run away,
but I pulled her back.
Why?
She's suffering, Nathan.
Broken.
Lost.
You're the one who blamed her!
I stood by her!
Yeah, until she left your ass.
Sorry. Sorry, that came out
harsher than I meant.
I have to catch the train.
[Daniel] Please, Nathan.
I need help.
Ryan asked me to come by
and say "hi" to you.
And I did.
Okay.
Hi.
[playing classical music]
- Best first date ever.
- I heard that.
[Allison laughing]
[Daniel] I used to drink
whiskey until I blacked out.
Wake up the next morning
to find out
what I had done, who I had been.
[chuckles]
My father was a drunk.
He beat me
right up to the day he died.
And I vowed I would never
lay a hand on my children.
And I didn't...
while I was sober.
But in the blackness...
I always denied because
I really couldn't remember.
Sometimes there'd be a bruise.
"Oh, you must have fallen down."
"I'm your daddy.
I would never hurt you."
August 11th, '99...
I woke up on my front porch to
the sound of church bells...
and an ice cream truck.
So, I knew it was Sunday.
First thing I saw was my captain
standing over me,
poking me in the ribs
with his nightstick.
An ambulance.
My son, Nathan,
sitting in the back,
bleeding from the head.
Medics had bought him
a popsicle.
Turns out that... [sighs]
in the blackness...
I had beat him so bad
that he lost the hearing
in his right ear.
Forever.
And to this day,
every time I see him,
I beg for his forgiveness.
It's just a little dance we do.
A mere formality.
Because we both know...
that there are some things
that are just
impossible to forgive.
I do believe
even God knows that.
When I was a cop,
I used to eat here every day.
Free coffee refills.
You hungry?
No.
[Daniel] Hmm.
Funny, the things
we stop caring about.
I used to want to travel.
I would leaf through
National Geographic
and dog-ear
all of the exotic places
I would visit once I retired.
Never do that now.
- You still could.
- No, no. I couldn't.
I wasn't drunk,
or on anything, by the way.
What?
When I saw you the other day
at the meeting,
I instantly got worried
that you may have thought
that I was drinking or on dr*gs
on the day of the accident,
and I wasn't.
I was sober. It wasn't my fault.
I have every report ever written
committed to memory.
Right.
So, you know that it was
the backhoe guy's fault, Alvarez.
I don't wanna get
into that all right now.
Okay, yeah, you're right.
Nathan said that he was deaf
since birth.
He never told you?
Maybe he wanted me to like you.
I doubt that.
I thought that raising Ryan
would offer me the chance
to be a better father
than I ever was.
Shit.
I'm in way over my head.
I got one of those audiobooks
from the library.
How to Talk to a Teen.
[chuckles] Oh, yeah?
How's that working out?
- Well, it's from the '80s...
- [laughs]
It's on a cassette.
Right.
Its advice is,
"Chaperone a dance."
[laughs]
"Chaperone a dance."
I just caught her having sex
with a boy
who looked like a man.
A dance would be delightful.
Can I give you some advice
from a former teenage girl?
She's gonna have sex.
And nothing you say
is gonna change that.
Just make sure
she's on birth control.
- Birth control?
- Yeah.
She's 16!
No, we'll be going
the abstinence route.
No offense, Daniel,
but, uh, there's a knot
in your logic.
You're trying to solve a problem
by looking
in the other direction.
I could talk to her
if you want me to.
Oh, well, no thanks.
- It's okay. Of course.
- That's not appropriate.
I don't even know
why I just said that.
- I'm sorry.
- No, it's okay.
It's just that
I don't think that it's...
I just felt the need,
um, the instinct
to help in some way.
It's the least I could do.
I don't know how to do this.
What?
Start all over.
How do you do it?
[Daniel] Takes work.
- Can I tell you a secret?
- Sure.
I'm not sure I have the will.
What does "amor fati" mean?
[Daniel sighs]
Certain things are private.
Do you think I'm f*cked up?
Are you high right now?
No.
I was a cop for 40 years.
I was an addict for 50.
So, I'm gonna ask you again.
Are you high right now?
Well, I...
I broke a pill in half.
So, half.
Yes, I think
you're f*cked up, Allison.
Not half.
All f*cked up.
Do you think
I'll ever pull out of this?
I mean, like, maybe one day
I might be the kind of person
that people want
their granddaughter
to hang out with?
I have no idea.
Me neither.
[soft country music playing]
Can I have
my phone back, please?
I'm running out of ideas
on how to handle you, Ryan.
Grandpa,
everybody at my age has sex.
It's, like, not a big deal.
I know it was different
when you were younger,
but that's just, like,
not how it is anymore.
[smacks lips] Well,
let me ask you something.
Are you...
Are you using
any protection?
Oh, my God!
I am so not gonna talk about
this with my grandfather.
How the hell
do you think I feel?
[both sigh]
- I know you're upset.
- I'm not upset.
Maybe you should go back
and see that therapist again.
No. I just
want my phone back.
I don't have any friends
at Columbia
and I want to
hang onto the few I still have
on Long Beach Island.
How come you can't make friends?
I've been through a lot
this year.
[Daniel] Hmm.
And nobody really understands.
They try. Some, but...
I mean, it's fake.
Don't you think
most people are so fake?
I would probably say
"duplicitous."
What does that mean?
Fake.
[chuckles]
I'm on your side.
I know.
Tell you what.
You can have your phone back
if you promise to start taking
birth control pills.
Ugh! Oh, my God! Daniel!
Grandpa!
[sighs]
Grandpa.
Is it a deal?
I'll make the appointment.
Fine. Fine.
I just
never want to talk to you
about sex ever again.
Oh, really?
'Cause I just love this shit.
Have you ever been
on campus before?
Not since I was a kid.
I used to do swim meets here.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
- You were a swimmer?
- [chuckling] Uh, yeah.
Well, I was 12, but yeah,
I was pretty good.
I still have all the trophies
and the ribbons.
- That's cool.
- Mmm.
- What stroke?
- Mostly freestyle.
Why'd you stop?
Um, my dad left.
Yeah, it was kinda the thing
that we used to do together.
He would cheer so loud
I could hear him underwater.
[chuckles]
Seemed kind of pointless
to do it without him.
- Where'd he go?
- Ohio.
Started a whole new family
in Ohio.
Wow.
He has 10-year-old twins. Yeah.
I don't know
if they swim or not, though.
Oh, man. I am always
just amazed at people
who can, like, up and leave
their kids like that.
[Allison] Mmm.
I just don't know how you could,
like, f*cking sleep at night.
For so long, I thought
that I'd done something wrong.
Like, it was my fault,
or I'd let him down.
And then I just realized,
I don't know, maybe
some people just aren't good.
[Simone] Hmm.
It's kinda like he, like,
restarted a level
in a video game
with a fresh life.
- [both laugh]
- That's exactly what he did!
He packed up the car,
and left his Rolex
in the attic of my dollhouse,
and he drove away.
Hey, let's sit
for a second, okay?
- Yeah, yeah.
- [clears throat]
Uh... So, I'll sponsor you.
- Okay.
- But, um,
you gotta start
taking this shit seriously.
You can't keep coming
to meetings high.
What? [chuckles]
How did you know?
[laughs]
Uh, because I was you.
And I've helped
dozens of women who were you.
And some beat it,
and some are dead.
But, you know,
if you want my time,
you gotta commit.
Because I have a toddler
so I just
- don't have time for bullshit.
- Yeah.
No, I do. I... I...
I really wanna beat it.
Then I want you to do
90 meetings in 90 days.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
And, um, we're gonna
get you started on step one.
Okay.
Okay.
Also, enough hiding out, man.
It's time you shared
with the group.
- All right.
- Uh...
[nervously] Hi, I'm Allison,
and I'm addicted to, uh,
pills.
[group] Hi, Allison.
[Allison] Uh...
Sorry. Can I start again?
I've never done this before,
and I'm nervous.
You got it.
[breathes deeply]
Hi, I'm Allison,
and I'm an addict.
[group] Hi, Allison.
I...
Um...
I was the driver
of a car
that was in
a really bad accident.
Two people died.
The woman was...
The woman was about to be
my sister-in-law.
We were on our way to try on
my wedding dresses.
[shudders]
And then we weren't.
It wasn't my fault. [sighs]
I wasn't on dr*gs or booze,
or drunk, or anything.
But, uh...
[voice breaking]
Surviving that day was, is...
the most painful thing
I will ever
have to live through.
[sniffles] I got hurt, too.
They put a hole in my head.
And, um, [sniffles]
that helped because
at least I had something
I could blame the pain on.
But then that healed...
and I was still hurting.
And I guess that's why
I didn't realize
how bad it was because to me...
[breathes shakily]
I was still in so much pain.
- [shuddering]
- [rubbing stomach]
I was, um, prescribed them
for physical pain,
and they really helped
with that. They really did.
But they made me numb.
Blissfully numb.
Without them I want to die.
[sniffles] Every day.
I've never said that
out loud before. [sobs]
Um...
I've never really faced
reality without them.
[sniffling]
And I don't know if I'll be
able to handle what I see,
but I'm here to try.
Okay. That's it. [sniffles]
That's it. [sighing heavily]
What happens now?
[breathing heavily]
[toy train horn tooting]
You made all of this?
Uh, I assembled it
and designed it.
Yeah.
You see,
the houses come as a kit.
You just assemble them
and paint them...
Schoolhouse,
I built from scratch.
Hey, there are two kids
making out back here.
- That's me.
- [chuckles]
- You were handsome.
- [laughs]
And tiny.
Yeah, my very first kiss
behind the schoolhouse.
Olivia Williams.
It was fall.
Tip of her nose was cold.
[chuckles]
Little runny.
She stood on tiptoe.
Tasted like bubble gum.
[Allison] Is that
who you married?
No! No, no.
No, she dumped me the next day
for Charlie Cook.
- Oh.
- He smoked Camels.
And drove
a Buick Riviera Roadmaster.
So, is this all inspired
by your life?
Kinda.
Supposed to be South Orange.
I grew up here.
I was a cop in Newark.
I've always lived here.
Who's the soldier?
[Daniel] That's me.
Day I got home from Vietnam.
That other little figure there
is my father.
He came down to the station
to pick me up.
- This is incredible.
- Mm.
How long did it take you?
Years.
I started
with a single figure-eight
and a two-car train.
I work on it when I can.
Got more time
now that I've retired.
My wife passed.
Ryan used to hang out with me
down here.
She liked the whistle
and the microphone.
There's a microphone?
Right over there.
How else you gonna tell
your passengers
- that the train's coming?
- [laughs]
[toy train horn tooting]
[chuckles]
[Allison singing "Take
The Last Train to Clarksville"]
Take the last train
to Clarksville
And I'll meet you
at the station
You can be there by 4:30
'Cause I booked
your reservation
Don't be slow
[both singing] Oh no no no
Oh no no no
And I don't know if I'm ever
[both sing] Coming home
[Daniel laughs]
That was just a little
serenade for your people
from the heavens above.
Think that's one of the
reasons I enjoy it so much.
Why? 'Cause you get to play God?
Well, so much of my life
has been outta control.
Down here,
I get to decide
if Olivia chooses me.
I get to decide
if my father comes
to pick me up at the station
when I get home.
Did he?
No.
He was passed out drunk
in our backyard.
He'd lain face down so long,
an inch of snow had gathered
on his back.
Next morning at breakfast,
he offered me a beer,
so...
I had a beer with him
at breakfast,
and I never stopped.
When did you last talk
to Nathan?
Daniel, this is God.
Allison would like you to
change the conversation now.
- I'll bet she would.
- [chuckles]
All right. Let's get outta here.
[switch clicks]
[music playing on headphones]
[Daniel] Ryan?
It's only one o'clock.
Why are you home?
We had a half-day
for the active sh**t drill.
- I told you this morning.
- [Daniel sighs]
Well, this is a friend of mine
from the program.
Hi.
Hi.
- You should probably get going.
- Yeah. Yeah.
I'm gonna go.
Wait, I know you from somewhere.
No, you don't.
You do?
How do I know you?
Uh... My... I'm...
I'm Allison.
Yeah, I've seen you before.
I thought you said the active
sh**t drill ended at 2:00.
Yeah, that's when the pretend
sh**t fights back.
Today, he shot himself,
so we got out early.
Why do I know you?
I'm not sure
what I'm supposed to say.
- You were Nathan's fiancee.
- No.
- You were in the car.
- No.
- I was, yeah.
- Weren't you driving?
Wasn't she driving?
We're in the program together.
- But I thought you said
it was her fault.
- What?
How could you bring her
into our house?
Get out of our f*cking house!
- Okay. It's okay.
- [Daniel] I'm sorry. I...
I'm so sorry.
I thought you were in school.
You ruined my f*cking life!
I know, I know, I know.
I'm... I'm really sorry.
[crying] You shouldn't
be here! This is our house!
My mom grew up in here!
I sleep in her bedroom.
I use her sheets!
[Daniel] All right. All right.
She's leaving.
Uh, just in case
this is the last time
I ever get to talk to you,
please know,
I also wish it was me.
Okay? I do.
I'm gonna go.
[voice breaking]
I never got to say goodbye.
[Allison sighs] I know.
They were going to see a play.
I know.
She wanted to see a musical,
because she loved
all the fancy costumes.
I didn't know that.
She said you made Nate
really happy.
That you were the best thing
that ever happened to him.
He made me happy, too.
[softly] Okay, I'm gonna go.
- [door opens]
- Allison.
Yeah.
Would you like to stay
for dinner?
What?
Uh...
So, you're an alcoholic, too?
[chidingly] Ryan.
Uh, no.
Alcohol's not exactly
my problem.
- What is? Meth?
- [Allison snorts]
Ryan.
No. Not meth. Um...
[smacks lips]
Prescription painkillers.
Oxy.
How do you know about Oxy?
Kids at my school snort it.
It's heroin!
No, it's not.
I could get it easier
than I could get a beer.
They sell it at Rite Aid.
[Daniel scoffs]
- So why'd you dump Uncle Nate?
- Ryan.
[Ryan] He said you ghosted him.
It's not your business.
I just don't understand how
if he was gonna stay with you,
even after
everything that happened,
why'd you dump him?
I was upset.
And so I ran.
- Like you, quitting soccer.
- [curtly] Shut up!
You don't say "shut up" to me!
Ever again!
Why'd you quit soccer?
- She got into a fight.
- 'Cause I hate every girl
on the team.
Oh.
Your parents were telling me
how amazing you were.
- They were?
- [Allison] Mm-hmm.
Your dad actually was saying
how you were definitely
gonna get a scholarship.
I wanna go to Stanford.
[Daniel laughing]
Why are you laughing?
You quit the team,
you're mouthing off in school,
and you're not doing
your homework.
You're gonna get into Stanford?
I didn't say
I quit the team permanently.
I said I wanted to take a break.
And I had a 4.0 down the shore.
I could get it back
in a second if I cared.
Why don't you care?
Why, do you think?
- [Daniel] Shit.
- [Allison] Okay.
Why don't we just
call it a night, okay?
[Allison] Yeah,
I'm gonna go home.
Hey, um...
[tears off page]
Um, just in case you,
I don't know,
wanna talk, need to talk...
This is me.
And it's up to you,
but I'm here.
Okay.
[receding footsteps]
[Daniel] I'm sorry
about all that.
[Allison] Uh, it's fine.
You see what I'm dealing with.
Honestly, it's okay.
Look. [sighs]
She's a very fragile kid.
So, I'd appreciate it
if you didn't contact her.
Oh.
Okay.
Yeah, I just...
[stuttering] I just wanted her
to know that I was available
if she wanted to talk
or anything.
I'm just asking if you will
please just let her be.
Scout's honor.
No, that's Spock's
"Live long and prosper."
We Boy Scouts do this.
Oh. I prefer Spock.
Live long and prosper, Daniel.
- [Daniel] Good night.
- Thank you.
[piano keyboard playing]
Mmm.
[humming]
[resumes playing keyboard]
[plays descending notes]
[keys clang]
[cell phone chimes]
[indistinct background chatter]
[chuckles]
[chuckling]
[crowd cheering and applauding]
Go, baby! Go, go, go!
[quietly] Come on,
come on, come on.
[woman] Come on!
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
- Yeah!
- [crowd cheers]
Attagirl!
Attagirl!
[cheering continues]
[mouthing] Thank you.
[somber music playing]
[bed creaking]
[heart beating]
[breathes heavily]
[fan creaking softly]
[cell phone chimes]
[Ryan] Why do you ride
your bike everywhere?
Um...
I haven't been in a car
since the accident.
'Cause you feel guilty?
Uh, no.
Because I feel... scared.
Daniel says
you were using your phone.
[Allison] Uh, I was using Maps.
Everyone uses Maps.
Yeah, well,
he has all the reports.
He's memorized them.
He stares at them at night.
It's weird.
Okay, well, I was there.
And the person who wrote
those reports wasn't, so...
[Ryan] Tell me
why you ended it with Nate.
My mom would want you guys
to be together still.
Ryan, I don't even know
what to say to that.
My mom used to really, um...
just, like, look out for him
and stuff, you know? Um...
And...
I've been thinking
maybe now I'm supposed to.
Because she can't.
I bet that would make her
really proud.
I could tell you
about what's happening
- with him if you want.
- No, that's okay.
Thank you, though.
I've tried really hard
to avoid all of that...
He moved to Tribeca.
Wow.
Yeah. He has a dog.
- A dog?
- Mm-hmm.
A French Bulldog named Jasper.
He never really struck me
as a Frenchie type,
but okay. [chuckles]
It's his girlfriend's.
Oh.
[Ryan softly] Yeah.
I... I don't need to hear this.
- Are you okay?
- Mm-hmm.
How long have they been
going out?
I don't know.
Like, four months, I think.
Wow.
Yeah. She's a paralegal.
I don't even know what that is.
Is that, like, a good thing?
[voice breaking] Yeah. Wow.
- You just keep saying, "Wow."
- Yeah.
It's just a lot to take in.
Um...
I'm really happy for him. I am.
He really deserves to be happy.
I...
- I shouldn't have told you.
- No, no, no. It's fine.
But you're upset.
We went through
so much together.
I really want good things
to happen to him.
I'm really sorry
- I made you upset.
- [Allison] It's okay.
- I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
- I really
meant for this to be friendly.
Yeah. I'll see you in a second.
[breathing heavily]
[door slams]
[brooding music playing]
[crying softly]
[phone camera clicking]
[sobbing]
[continues sobbing]
[sniffles]
Hey.
Is something wrong?
I, um... I forgot
I have a job interview.
So, I'm gonna go. [sniffles]
- You sick?
- [sniffles]
[voice breaks] Yeah.
- Withdrawal?
- I'm trying.
All right. Look, don't stop.
- Okay?
- Okay.
Don't use.
Okay.
Don't stay home tonight.
Do something.
- Okay. Okay.
- All right? Okay.
You need a hug?
[voice breaking]
Um, if I hug you,
I'm gonna sob, so no.
Well, I can handle that.
No, I shouldn't. Not in front
of Ryan. [sniffles]
Okay.
Well, I'm hugging you
with my eyes.
Thank you.
- Be careful.
- Okay.
[Allison] I have to go.
So, I'll see you another time.
Bye.
[whispers] f*ck me.
Hey.
Let's go.
This assh*le charged me six buck
for a cup of coffee. Come on.
Okay.
["A Love Song Seven Ways"
playing]
It starts so early now
The sun has gone to Birkenau
As shadows creep
across your brow
I love you just the same
[breathing heavily] f*ck!
These freakish holidays
That make us act
like renegades
A blood bath
at the Ice Capades
Just makes me love you
More than I should ever
have been allowed
In a world of candy g*ns
Sweet as demons
in the candy apple sun
Think it quiet but then
don't sing it loud
Through a world
of number ones
Pointed skyward at the...
Look at me!
[glass shattering]
[plays chord]
...here like Buffalo
Now it feels like Bamako
I love you seven ways
You wear those baby tees
[knocking on door]
[Diane] Allie!
- [knocking continues]
- [in sing-song voice] Allie!
Allie?
Did you job hunt today?
Please leave me alone.
I was looking on Etsy.
And I was thinking
it would be so cute
if we found, like,
a craft that we like.
And maybe we could
make a little money.
What do you think?
[groans]
[cell phone chimes and vibrates]
[Diane] I was thinking
it'd be so cute
if it was like something fun
that we could sell.
Like little bibs for babies
that catch their food,
or salad dressing.
Or you know, just...
[gasps]
And you know what?
We could be on Shark t*nk!
Can you imagine, Allie?
And I know you're like,
"Oh, shut up, Mom!
You're drunk again."
But listen...
[Diane] Ooh, I just thought
of the best idea!
We could do, um, papier-mache!
Papier-mache!
So it would be like,
do a little dance,
a little song.
"Hey, Sharks! You know how
everybody likes papier-mache."
I would be like,
"Hey, Sharks! Hey, Sharks!"
Hey, Sharks! Oh... Sharks!"
Wait, that's too hard.
We'll be like,
"I'm Diane.
This is my associate, Allison.
"And this is our... whatever!"
You know...
[softly] You weak piece
of f*cking shit.
You couldn't make it go
two days.
I f*cking hate you.
I hate you so much.
Allie, do you remember
when you were in fourth grade,
you made
that giant mitochondria?
That's something that
would sell, I promise you.
We could be like, "Hey, Sharks!"
We got them for you!
Papier-mache!"
You know, like all the...
[Diane's voice becomes muffled
and indistinct]
I knew you would like
that idea! I knew it!
[breathing heavily]
[pills rattling]
[bottle cap opening]
[shuddering]
[breathing heavily]
[gasps]
- [panting]
- [faucet running]
[sniffles]
[continues panting]
[train horn toots]
Yes!
[laughs]
You're on the wrong side.
What? No, I'm not.
Oh.
Well, good thing you came!
Oh, my God!
Get over here.
Whoo! Party!
[train whooshes by]
[knocking on door]
- Hello, Diane!
- Oh, hey!
I don't know
how much Allison has told you.
But we've been going
to the same program.
Oh, yeah, she said.
She told me, yeah.
My granddaughter, Ryan,
has taken an interest
in Allison and,
well, now I can't find her.
So I just thought I'd drop by
and see if she might be here.
I tried texting them,
but, you know,
they all go green.
Do you know what that means?
I have no idea.
I hate when that happens,
when they go...
It's all green
and you don't know
if it's sent. It's so weird.
- [Daniel] Right. Right. Right.
- Drives me crazy.
You'll have to let me know
if you figure that out.
[both chuckle]
I'm not tech-y.
But I actually tonight was
trying to find Allison myself.
But do you really think
they're together tonight?
Both missing
at the same time. It...
seems a little curious.
[sighs] Seems like
no matter how old they get,
- you never stop worrying.
- Yeah.
But they always seem to turn up.
Not always.
Yeah.
Well, can you let me know
if you find them?
- I will.
- Great.
Thank you.
What's that?
Oh, I was just... I...
I was just saying
thank you so much
for being so kind to Allison.
She said you've always been
so warm to her and you know,
I... just wanted to say thanks,
'cause, you know,
like, some people
wouldn't be like that, so...
Well, we're all just trying
to move on, I suppose.
Yeah.
I don't think
Allie and I are doing
a very good job of that, Daniel.
You know what they say.
[Diane] What?
"Comparison
is the thief of joy."
Oh. I didn't know
they said that.
Well...
somebody did.
[laughs] Yeah.
Well, I best be going then.
Oh, yeah, of course.
- [Daniel] Night.
- Good night.
[downtempo music playing]
[singing "Stardust"]
Stare into space
Out in the blue
Oh, my God, there he is!
Look at him! Isn't he so hot?
Is that a face tattoo?
- Yeah!
- Oh, my God!
[sighs] I love this song!
Quinn sent it to me
in a playlist.
He, like, knows so much
about music.
Thank you.
For getting me to come.
Yeah.
[singer]
You're the only thing
That's the guitarist, Thomas.
He's staring right at you!
[Allison] Oh, stop.
No, I'm okay. I'm fine.
I know, you can do
so much better.
- [Allison] What? No.
- But he is f*cking hot.
[both laugh]
Uh... Okay, I, um...
I gotta go get someone in.
But I'll be right back.
- Should I come with you?
- No.
- Are you sure?
- No, I'll be right back. Yeah.
[singer] Take a photo
Make it real
You're the stardust
Stardust
Lighting the fields
Caught in a state
Watching it fall
Aquarius bloom
Just bought a car
Surprise!
Nathan?
- Hi!
- [Allison] Hi!
Ryan?
- What?
- Hi!
Uh, sorry.
Allie, uh,
this is my girlfriend, Joelle.
[voice cracking]
Hi. I'm sorry. Um...
Nice to meet you.
I've heard so much about you.
Oh.
Okay.
I think we're the victims
of a teenage girl's
good intentions.
- [Allison] What?
- I said...
I said I think
she meant well. Ryan.
[voice breaking]
I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go.
- [Nathan] Are you good?
- I'm fine.
I'm fine. I'm gonna go.
Allie!
Ryan.
What the f*ck
did you just do that for?
No offense, but you weren't
supposed to come.
I know being a paralegal
is a good job,
but he's supposed
to be with Allie.
- I'm sorry.
- [Nathan] Ryan?
What the f*ck did you just do?
I'm fixing it.
For Mom.
Go find her
and then I'm taking you home.
[Ryan scoffs]
I am so sorry.
Serious... This...
- It's fine. It's okay.
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- You good?
I'm fine. I need a drink.
- But I'm fine.
- Yes.
Oh, f*ck!
[singer] You guys
have been great,
- thank you so much!
- [cheers and applause]
Allie!
Why the f*ck
did you just do that?
I thought it was gonna
make you happy.
You thought
that would make me happy?
- [Ryan] Yeah!
- Are you insane?
Hi! Can I please get, um...
Hey, I'm sorry.
Could I just get a glass
of tequila, please?
f*ck, I can't breathe.
- Ryan, I can't f*cking breathe!
- Calm down.
Calm down, okay? I'm sorry.
You f*cking did that on purpose!
You did that to hurt me, right?
Is that what you did?
Yeah, you did.
- Just admit it. Yes, you did!
- No, I didn't!
- You did that
on f*cking purpose!
- No, I didn't!
You k*lled, baby! You k*lled!
- That was incredible, man!
- [Ryan] Hi! Hi!
I'm Quinn's friend, Ryan.
You guys sounded so good!
You're gonna be so famous!
I know. I really have to savor
my anonymity.
Hey, we're gonna go to this
party over in Williamsburg.
You guys wanna come?
[sighs] f*ck, yeah, whatever.
Let's go!
I need to get outta here.
[whooping]
Do you have the time?
- [cell phone chiming]
- Yeah.
Hey, Danny. Everything okay?
I can't find Ryan.
I've tried everything.
Anyway, my mind
can't help but wonder if...
Well, if you've seen Allison
or not.
Uh, no, I haven't, but I can
text her if you want.
Well, I've tried texting
both of them,
but neither one is answering.
What's wrong?
Daniel can't find
his granddaughter.
Um, well, if he pays for
the phone, he can just log
into the account,
and use Find My Phone.
Yeah. Daniel, do you know
what Find My Phone is?
No, what the hell is that?
[hip-hop music playing
on speaker]
[Ryan] This is amazing!
Whoa!
[indistinct chatter]
[cell phone chiming]
f*ck!
Allie, this is Jarvis. He has
the stuff you asked for.
Hey!
I don't have any thirties,
just dope.
Uh, yeah, okay.
Yeah, whatever you have.
Can you spot me?
- I'll pay you back, I promise.
- Uh, okay, all right.
Thanks.
[snorts]
It's coming. Look like!
Yeah, here it is.
Okay, what does it say?
[muffled music playing]
[Ryan grunts]
- [cell phone ringing]
- The whole room is spinning.
Oh, that's my phone.
Don't worry about it.
Can we just stop for a second?
Where is my phone?
[cell phone continues ringing]
I think I'm gonna throw up.
What the f*ck!
She's in the f*cking city!
She's in f*cking Williamsburg!
Okay, Daniel, wait.
I'm gonna come pick you up.
I don't want you to do
something you're gonna regret.
I'm gonna k*ll
that m*therf*cker.
Yeah, that's exactly what I'm
worried about. I'm on my way.
- [Allison grunts]
- Okay. Easy does it.
- You're wasted.
- No, I'm not.
[hip-hop music playing
on speaker]
Ryan?
[breathing heavily]
Ryan?
- Ryan, are you in there?
- [knocking on door]
[Quinn] She's fine.
Go the f*ck away!
[Allison] Ryan?
[techno music playing
on speaker]
[knocking on door]
[Allison] Ryan?
Can you just
open the door, please?
Ryan.
[Quinn] Go away!
[Daniel] Allison? Where's Ryan?
What're you doing here?
Where the f*ck is Ryan?
She's in here. I'm trying to...
She won't answer.
- [knocking on door]
- Ryan!
[Daniel] Ryan?
It's your grandpa,
open the door.
Open the door, baby.
[Quinn] f*ck off!
[kicks door]
- What the f*ck!
- [Allison] Ryan!
[Daniel] You again!
Get the f*ck up!
- Danny, no, no, no.
- Oh, my God!
- Don't do that!
- Nothing happened.
Tell me why I shouldn't
k*ll you, m*therf*cker?
We were just making out.
You hurt my baby.
- Now, I'm gonna hurt you.
- [g*n cocks]
- No, no, no, no, no.
- [Simone] Danny!
Dad!
No!
The hell you're doing here?
This is family business.
Don't do this.
Go on back
to your new life, Nate.
[Quinn] Put the g*n down, please.
[sobbing] Please, please!
He's not worth it.
I got nothing left to lose.
You got me!
You got Ryan!
We need you!
You do this, it's over!
We get no more time.
[Simone] Danny,
put the g*n down.
Please.
[sighs]
[Quinn] Oh, my...
That's my niece.
She's 16 years old.
[groans]
[Simone] Oh, my God! All right,
we gotta get out of here.
Hey, Ryan, baby?
- Please get up.
- My f*cking nose!
- [Daniel] Get over here!
- [Quinn] My f*cking nose!
[techno music playing
on speaker]
[door creaks]
[Allison breathing heavily]
The f*ck is the matter with you?
I was trying to protect her!
- [Daniel] Protect her?
- Yeah!
I told you to stay away
from her!
Who the f*ck are you
to be talking
about protecting somebody?
- You're a mess.
- Dad!
I was... I was trying to help.
I was... I was trying to...
I was trying to make it right.
Let me tell you something.
You will never ever
be able to fix the things
you've done to me.
You hear me?
I want my life back.
I want my child back.
My baby, my... Molly.
You took my baby away from me!
Dad! Enough.
Nah, it's okay.
Say it.
Shit, I wanted to hate you.
But I stopped myself.
And when you walked into
that meeting, I thought...
This is God testing me.
This is proof of a higher power
testing me in this church.
Trying to see
if he could break me.
But I'll show him.
I'm unbreakable.
I will offer my hand
to this sorry
little f*cking pill-junkie.
All I asked you to do
was stay away from this child.
Now look at her.
She got no mother.
No father.
And how many years
can I have left?
What a f*cking waste you are.
Dad!
What a f*cking waste of a soul.
Of a chance.
Danny, enough.
You've said your piece.
This isn't
how it was supposed to be.
I'm a good person.
I never said God has to be fair.
I just never thought
he could be this cruel.
Taxi!
[Simone] Hold on, Danny,
let me take you home.
[Daniel] No.
I'll go with him.
Hey! Hey, Ryan!
Come on, wake up.
We're taking you home.
[Ryan grunts]
You drank!
You turned your map app
back on at 17:36:22.
Impact was at 17:36:24.
Skid marks show you lost
30 feet before you swerved.
You didn't have time to stop
because you were looking at
your f*cking phone, Allison.
Stop blaming Alvarez.
They're dead because of you.
[stifles sob]
[car door closes]
[sobbing softly]
All right. All right.
It's all right.
Come here. Come here.
It's all right. Okay.
[kid] No, that can't go
over there.
That can't...
That can't... That can't go...
[soft music playing]
Good morning.
Good morning.
I made a house.
Do you have a headache?
Yeah.
Hey.
Can I, uh, sell this, please?
I'll give you $12,500.
Yeah. Yeah, okay. Thank you.
It is a beauty.
[piano music playing]
[Allison singing
"I Hate Myself"]
I woke up today
At least that much is true
I saw what people see
What a year this made of me
I tried a hundred times
But each time
I thought of you
Thank you.
I hate myself
I f*ckin' hate myself
[crowd cheering]
And I
I want days of pain
Oh, to feel
The things I need
To pay off this shame
And I know
that makes me broken
I know that makes me weak
I guess I'll put
my armor back on now
I found a way
But I turned around
One step to start
But I'd rather fall down
Too much of a coward
To just say I'm wrong
[Ryan] Grandpa, you are not
gonna believe this.
One of the girls on the team
invited me to a party
this weekend.
You?
- Yes, me!
- [laughs]
[Allison continues singing]
Help me, please
Try to fix yourself
That's all they said to me
Try to fix myself
To know how hard
that would be
[song ends]
Hi.
Hi.
Thank you so much for coming.
Sure.
- You look great.
- [both chuckle]
I nearly put makeup on,
and then I just laughed
at myself. [laughs]
Do you like my clips?
Wow, yeah.
I stole them from a pharmacy.
- [scoffs]
- Not recently.
- Like, a while back.
- [both laugh]
I don't know where to start.
That's okay.
Um, I'll start.
[smacks lips]
[breathes deeply]
Nate, I didn't have...
the faintest idea
how to handle my own grief.
I didn't even know
if I was allowed to grieve.
We were all flailing.
Yeah, but I abandoned you,
and that was so selfish.
I ran as fast as I could
away from you.
I still wanted you
to be my wife.
I know.
But the truth is, Nate, I...
I was so sure
I was gonna...
- try...
- I know.
And you know I tried.
I tried, but I couldn't.
'Cause I didn't wanna
hurt you again.
It wasn't your fault.
It was.
Your dad was right.
If I hadn't been looking
at my phone,
I could have stopped in time.
You deserve an apology that
never came, and I'm so sorry.
I'm really sorry.
[sighs]
[chuckles dryly]
I've been spending some time
with him lately.
Yeah.
- Oh, it's a work-in-progress.
- [chuckles]
Good.
He kept me alive, you know.
I know about your ear.
Hey... I need you
to be clear on one thing.
I loved you so much.
[tearfully] And along
with everything else,
I will forever grieve
for the life that we might
have had. [sniffles]
Me too.
- We were a good team.
- [both chuckle softly]
It would be nice
if we could one day
find some way
to be in each other's lives.
Maybe that's unrealistic,
- but...
- Maybe.
[softly] Yeah.
Maybe.
I think we can all thank Elaine.
Thank you so much.
I really appreciated
getting to know you,
and talking to you.
Everybody, our deeply
inappropriate stories
- from yesterday...
- [all laughing]
have been well in my head.
King's laughing.
Your stories are foul. [laughs]
Mama,
I'm so grateful for you.
Thank you for everything
you've done for me.
And I love you.
[all applauding]
[soft piano music playing]
The food was terrible.
Thank you.
[Allison singing
"The Best Part"]
I can't shake you off, dear
It's something
I have tried to do
But I can't
shake you off, dear
Sit on trains
and think of you
But I...
Oh, I can't tell
If it hurts or it helps
So breathe me in
One last time
And we play
Our rehearsed
Goodbyes
I can't shake you off, dear
It's something
I have tried to do
But I can't
shake you off, dear
I sit on trains
and think of you
But you are the best part
You
Thank you.
[scattered applause]
Um, I recently recorded
my first EP,
and it's at the coat check
because I'm also
the coat check girl.
Uh, so come buy a CD,
or I won't give you
your coats back.
[people laughing]
[cell phone ringing]
Hi.
I know you're calling
about my one-year clean,
but I need to tell you
what I just did.
Yeah. No, I can talk.
Okay.
[somber music playing]
Hey, Dwayne.
Could you take these
to the kitchen for me?
Thank you so much.
[soft, indistinct chatter]
[Simone] She'll give it back.
Right, Ryan?
- That's nice.
- [Ryan] Thank you.
Hey. How's it going?
Ooh, wait, I have cupcakes.
- Need any help?
- No, no, no. I'm all good.
Thank you.
Actually, we broke up
- a few months ago.
- Yeah...
- [Allison] Hey, Mama.
- Yes?
Could you go pass these around
over there?
I think they would like some.
- Sure.
- Thank you.
- Ooh, they smell so good.
- They are good.
[somber music continues]
[switch clicks]
[Daniel] Dear Allison.
Down here in 1:87 scale,
the lovers always kiss,
the neighbors are always kind,
and the trains always
take you to the far-off places
you always swore you'd go.
In life, of course,
nothing is nearly
as neat and tidy.
Everything I own has been left
to Nathan and Ryan.
Nathan has agreed to move home
and be her guardian
until she's off to college.
He'll need help.
Please help him, Allie.
Molly always said Nathan was
the best version of himself
when he was with you.
Who knows,
maybe you can even get her
into Stanford. [chuckles]
When we first met in that diner,
you asked what my tattoo meant.
- Amor fati is Latin.
- [typewriter clacking]
It means "to love one's fate."
Neither of us
chose this fate, Allie.
But perhaps we can find a way
to love it.
Fate has given me
one final year with my son.
He looks at me differently
these days.
Once in a while I even
catch him smiling at me
with a look that might
just even be love.
Amor fati, Allison.
Until we meet again,
Daniel.
[Ryan] Allie?
Yeah?
What are you doing?
Come on upstairs.
[Allison] Yeah, okay.
["Deep In Love" playing]
[switch clicks]
Down in the valley
the first of May
[door creaks]
Gatherin' flowers
both fresh and gay
Gatherin' flowers
both red and blue
How little thought
of what...
[Allison breathes deeply]
...what love could you do
Don't you
Break my heart
Don't you
Break my heart
I put my hand in
into the bush
Finding the sweetest
sweetest rose
I pricked my finger
deep to the line
And left the sweetest rose
Sweetest rose behind
Don't you
Break my heart
Don't you
Break my heart
Don't you
Break my heart
Don't you
Break my heart
Thousands and thousands
all on this Earth
[song ends]
["On My Mind" playing]
Honey you've been on my mind
Like Christmas and birthdays
when I was five
Like the ticking clock
for racers
And those in the prison line
Like Everest for Mallory and
how drinkers know their wine
And the birds and the bees
when you hit nine
And pearls for those girls
Who always have their hair
in pretty curls
You're on my mind
Honey you've been in my head
Like homework on Sunday when
I've been laughing instead
Like cigarettes for the cool
kids behind the garden shed
And love for the lovers
and the elephant by my bed
And pearls for those girls
Who always have their hair
in pretty curls
And football
for English boys
Who always have
the newest toys
You're on my mind
So don't you
go away too long
Oh don't you
go away too long
Oh don't you go
Away too long
You're on my mind
You're on my mind
[song ends]
A Good Person (2023)
Moderator: Maskath3