[music playing]
-Hi Mom, Hi Dad, I
want you to meet Clive.
-Oh, hello Clive.
-And who's little boy are you?
-He's ours.
-Ours?
-I just won him from Clive's big
brother in a game of marbles.
[music playing]
-There, now Mitchell, you
see this little tripper
breaks the circuit.
And all I have to do
is attach this wire
you brought me right there to
the back of my homemade burglar
alarm.
And if anyone tries to
break in, these lights
will flash, this bell will
ring, the siren will go off.
-And we'll get a summons
for disturbing the peace.
-Oh, Martha.
-You're really concerned
about these robberies,
aren't you, Mr. Wilson?
-I most certainly am, Mitchell.
Just look at this
headline, "Stocking Bandit
Strikes Again."
Why, do you realize
there have been
four robberies the last five
days all in this general area?
-Well, don't look at me.
I've been home every evening.
And I can prove it.
Sure you won't change your
mind and play a little golf me.
-Oh, no thank you, Mitchell,
but thanks again for the wire
you brought me.
[music playing]
-There, Martha,
we are now living
in an impregnable castle.
There is absolutely
no way anyone
can get inside these walls
without first setting
off the George Wilson, homemade,
super deluxe, fool proof
burglar alarm.
-Hi Mr. Wilson!
Hi Mrs. WIlson!
-Dennis, Great Scott,
how did you get in here?
-Through the basement.
I was playing hide
and seek with Tommy.
-Oh, good grief, I forgot
all about the basement.
-Hey, Mr. Wilson,
do you know who
I think is living
right next door to you?
-Dennis I know who's living
right next door to me, you.
-I mean on the
other side, the man
who just moved in last week.
-Oh, now, don't tell me you
think he's the stocking bandit.
-Jeepers, yes!
-Dennis, I may not like
my new neighbor very much.
But I assure you he is
not the stocking bandit.
-Are you sure?
-What makes you think Mr.
Switzer is the stocking bandit?
-Because he keeps the
shades down and keeps
peaking out of corners.
-You know, Martha,
I've noticed that too.
-I hardly think that evidence
would stand up in court.
-What are you going
to do now, Mr. Wilson?
-I'm going to mind
my own business.
And I suggest you
do the same thing.
You run on home, Dennis.
I'm very busy.
-Doing what?
-Oh, well, I'll
think of something.
[music playing]
[sirens]
-Jeepers, Mr. Wilson, that
sure is a swell new front door
buzzer you got.
-Oh, for Pete's Sake!
[music playing]
-Ha, there's that Wilson
fellow peering over here again.
-Oh, Marvin, there's no law
against a person looking out
of his window.
-Look, Lillian, I still say
that there is something mighty
peculiar about a man getting so
upset because somebody happens
to drive over his
Petunia border.
-Oh, Marvin.
-George Wilson.
-Oh, well it is peculiar
the way that man
keeps his shape drawn all
the time and peaking out.
-Oh, George, just
because he accidentally
drove across your Petunia border
doesn't make him a criminal.
-Perhaps not, Martha,
but you just never
know who's living next
door to you these days.
-Here, George, here's the
silk stocking you wanted.
-Oh, thank you, Martha.
Yes, my alarm will stop him
if he comes in the door.
But if he tries the
window, well, we'll
soon see how good a
watchdog Fremont is.
-Dear, don't think
you're being just
a little silly about
this whole thing?
-Now, Martha,
there's nothing silly
about a man trying
to protect his home,
especially when a
hardened criminal
could be living right next door.
-Yes, dear.
-Now, you let Fremont up from
the basement when I leave.
I'll put this stocking
mask on to disguise myself.
Then I'll tap at the
window and try to break in.
-Oh, George that cap, what
will the neighbors think?
-Well, Martha, I'll only be
out there for a few minutes.
[music playing]
-Hmm, strange--
-Now, Marvin they
are his bushes.
He's probably just
pruning them or something.
-With a cap pulled down,
and his collar turned up,
and holding a silk stocking?
-Next you'll be telling me
he's the stocking bandit
robbing his own house
because business is slow.
-Lillian, the man
could be deranged.
Remember, kleptomaniacs
don't care who they rob.
-Come on.
-But there is a man next
door, Mrs. Mitchell.
-Yeah, Ma, with his back to
us and a funny-looking cap on.
[music playing]
-I wish your father were home.
[buzzing]
-Oh dear, the
Wilson's line is busy.
-Oh boy, Mrs. Mitchell,
now he's pulling something
down over his head.
-He's the stocking
bandit, OK Tommy.
I'm going to get all my
g*ns out just in case.
-Operator, give me the police.
And hurry.
Police?
This is Mrs. Henry
Mitchell of Elm Street.
I want to report a--
-A mean old stocking bandit.
-A mean old stocking bandit.
[music playing]
-Now, Becker, I
told the chief I'd
be glad to take week
off from the desk
just to see you got
started all right.
So I'll make the decisions.
-OK, Sarge.
-Yeah, you remember that, and
we'll be the happiness twins.
-Sure, Sergeant.
RADIO (OFFSCREEN): Car ,
Car , come in please.
-I think that's us, Sarge.
-I know it's us.
-Car , go ahead.
RADIO (OFFSCREEN):
Stocking bandit
reported hiding in bushes the
vicinity of Elm Street.
Proceed with caution.
- - .
-Come on, Sarge!
-Becker!
It's such a lovely day.
Let's drive over, shall we?
[music playing]
-He's looking in
their window now.
-Oh dear, I still
can't get the Wilson's.
-Maybe he cut their
telephone wires.
Boy, is the phone company
going to be sore at him.
-Yes, Harriet,
yes, dear, Harriet,
I really-- Harriet, I'm
expecting a stocking bandit.
[knocking]
-Oh, I wonder where
that silly dog is.
Fremont?
[shrieking]
-Sorry, Sarge, right
on your corn, huh?
-Becker, you stay in the car.
Listen to the radio?
-What station?
-Well, try one.
What station he asks.
[whistling]
-Fremont!
Fremont?
[music playing]
-Fremont?
-Gotcha!
-What's going on here?
Let me up!
Ow!
-Sergeant Mooney's caught him!
-Oh boy!
-Children come back here!
-Oh, for heaven's sake,
Mooney get off me!
-George Wilson is that you?
-Well, of course it's
me, you fat head.
-It's Mr. Wilson!
-Oh, dear!
-I was worried to death.
-George Wilson, what in Sam
Hill you doing in that get up?
-Well, if you must
know, Mooney, I
was testing Fremont to find
out how good a watch dog he is.
[barking]
-Now I've seen everything.
-Here comes Fremont
now, Mr. Wilson.
-Uh oh, I hope he doesn't
bite me in this disguise.
All right, Fremont,
it's only me.
[bark]
-Oh, good grief.
[laughter]
-Some watch dog!
[music playing]
-Oh, can you
imagine that Mooney,
attacking innocent people
on their own property?
-Now, George, Sergeant Mooney
was only doing his duty.
-Fiddle faddle his duty.
And shame on you, Fremont.
A fine watch dog you are.
And get off that chair!
-Mr. Wilson!
Mr. Wilson!
-Oh, good grief.
-Hey, Mr. Wilson, look at
this picture of the most
wanted criminals that Tommy
took off a detective magazine.
-Don't tell me you finally
made the list, Dennis.
-Who does this look
like to you, Mr. Wilson?
-Well, let's see.
I don't know.
It does remind me
of somebody, though.
-Here, why don't you
draw a mustache on him?
-Great Scott, Martha, it looks
just exactly like Mr. Switzer!
-Boy, does it ever.
-Well, I admit the
mustaches do look alike.
-No, Martha, what
could be more logical?
A wanted convict hiding out in a
quiet, respectable neighborhood
by day--
-And being the stocking
bandit by night.
-Cecil Skinny Boy Floyd,
alias Slimy Cecil,
alias Cecil the Fifth, alias--
-Mr. Wilson!
Come look!
Here he is now!
[music playing]
-Martha, the resemblance
is startling!
-Yes, dear, Alice and I
are going to the store.
-Oh, all right, Martha, goodbye.
-Are you going to call
Sergeant Mooney, Mr. Wilson?
-No, Dennis, if I call that
old windbag and I'm wrong
he'd make me the laughingstock
of the entire town.
No, Dennis, we need
some positive evidence
before we can do anything.
[music playing]
-Oh, what have we here?
Dennis, that must be
the rest of his g*ng!
-There's one thing I don't
understand, Mr. Wilson.
-Yes, Dennis?
-If crime doesn't pay,
how come the bad guys
drive big, new cars?
-Well, Lou, is it or is not
the best cheap costume jewelery
you've seen in years?
-Pull up the shade, will you?
-Great Scott!
If that isn't a diamond
bracelet I'll eat my new hat.
-Let me see, Mr. Wilson.
Wow!
-They're good for
the money, all right.
The manufacturer
was going bankrupt.
And we bought up his entire
inventory at half price.
Burt and I should be
able to peddle this
to every shop that sells
costume jewelry in the state,
right, boy?
-We've got plenty of it in the
basement, and more on the way.
And if that isn't
enough, then-- uh, oh.
There he is again, Lillian.
This time he's spying on
us through binoculars.
-Oh, Marvin.
Marvin's convinced that
our next door neighbor
is the local stocking bandit.
-Say, why don't we take this
case and try old man Schultz?
If we can sell a tough
a wholesaler like him,
then we know we got 'em made.
-You do that.
All right, let's go.
-Marvin!
-Just in case our
friendly neighbor
drops in while we're out.
-And what are you going
to do with the key?
Swallow it?
-Can you see
anything, Mr. Wilson?
-No, those darn
curtains are in the way.
Nope, can't see a thing.
Well, let's get out of here
before they return, Dennis.
Dennis?
[music playing]
-Hey, Mr. Wilson!
This window is open!
Uh oh, I dropped my water g*n.
-Well, you'll just
have to leave it then.
-But it's brand new.
It's only been squirted once.
-Oh, all right, but hurry.
[music playing]
-Wow--ee!
Hey, Mr. Wilson!
Look!
This sure would make a
swell reflector for my bike.
-Great Scott, Dennis!
Quick, close that case
up and slide it over here
so I can reach it.
We'll take it to that fat
head Mooney as evidence.
Hurry!
Lift it up to where
I can reach it!
Hurry!
Just lift it up!
-It's too heavy, Mr. Wilson.
-Oh, all right, I'll get it.
-Are you OK, Mr. Wilson?
-Good grief.
-This time, Marvin,
we just can't miss.
-Yeah, that Lou certainly
knows his business.
Once he got inside the
door, that poor man
never knew what hit him.
-Jeepers, did you
hear that, Mr. Wilson?
-Shh!
Why, the fiend!
Dennis, we've got to call
Mooney before they strike again.
-That sounded like it
came from the basement.
-Push harder, Mr. Wilson.
-I did push hard.
Dennis, be quiet.
Now we'll try it again.
-Marvin, there is
somebody down there!
-Oh, I forgot the phone
isn't connected yet.
-Run next door and call the
police from the Wilson's!
-Yes, dear-- the Wilson's!
That could be him
down there now.
-Oh, Marvin.
-I'll go to the next house.
You lock yourself
in the bathroom.
-Alice!
Honey, I'm home!
[doorbell]
-I live down the street.
It's an emergency.
Can I use your phone?
-Phew, finally.
-And it was the water from
my water g*n that did it,
huh Mr. Wilson?
-That's right, Dennis.
Good boy.
Oh, geez.
Oh!
-It's stuck, Mr. Wilson.
-Well, of course it's stuck.
Don't just sit there.
Call for help.
-OK, help!
-Shh!
No, not here!
-Oh.
RADIO (OFFSCREEN): Car ,
car , come in please.
-Car , go ahead.
RADIO (OFFSCREEN): Proceed to
Elm Street immediately.
Robber reported in the vicinity.
-Yes sir, or, - .
[music playing]
[sirens]
-Becker!
Wait for me!
[doorbell]
-Mrs. Wilson!
Mrs. Wilson!
-The police want me
to wait here for them.
I hope you don't mind.
-Not at all, Mr. Switzer.
And stop your worrying.
I'm sure Mrs. Switzer
is perfectly all right.
-Oh!
-That's one of my
son's water pistols
from his locally famous arsenal.
-Jeepers, he's got Dad!
-Oh, Fremont, what
are you doing here?
Go home, Fremont.
Go on.
-Help!
Sergeant Mooney, boy
am I glad to see you!
Come on!
-OK.
-You and I'll will
go in the back way.
You wait out here, Mr. Mitchell.
I sure wish I hadn't
forgotten the Sarge like that.
[barking]
-Stick it!
-Well, they were right
her, Sergeant Mooney.
Dad!
Hey, Dad!
Dad!
He must have taken
Dad to his hideout.
Come on!
-Wait for me, Dennis!
[barking]
-Mr. Wilson, what on
Earth are you doing?
-Oh, Mitchell there's
no time to explain now.
-Dad, are you all right?
-Mooney, it's about time.
-This isn't a place to be--
-Quiet all you.
Dennis get over there
where it's safe.
-Help me out of here.
This window's stuck.
-Hey, Dad, how'd you get away
from the stocking bandit?
-Why, I-- who?
-It's coming, George.
-All right, don't make a move.
Put 'em up!
You too!
Sarge, how'd you get here?
-Marvin, it's him, Mr. Wilson.
-I knew it, Lillian.
I knew it!
-Mooney, arrest those people!
-Gee, this sure is getting to
be an exciting neighborhood,
isn't it?
[music playing]
-And then Dennis came over and
saw Mr. Switzer with this water
p*stol and thought I
was being held prisoner.
-It was wonderful of you
folks not to press charges.
-That wouldn't been very
neighborly, now, would it?
-Well, besides, it wouldn't
have done you any good.
I was planning to plead
temporary insanity anyway.
-And I'd have been
your first witness.
-Martha.
[doorbell]
-Come in!
[sirens]
-What is this?
-Oh, I forgot to
turn off the alarm.
-What on Earth is going on?
What is this?
What's going on?
What's going on?
What is this?
-Oh, it's just my
homemade burglar alarm.
-Oh, trying to take
over our job, huh?
Now, look, George,
I just want you
to know that we
caught the stocking
bandit without your help.
-Oh, you did, where?
-Downtown stealing
a pair of stockings!
[laughter]
-Well, they caught him.
-Thank goodness.
-Mr. Wilson, you know that big
green house down the street?
-Why, yes, Dennis.
-Well, I just saw
the man who moved in.
And he looks exactly like
wanted criminal number three.
-Oh, good grief.
[music playing]
03x30 - The Man Next Door
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
Follows the Mitchell family – Henry, Alice, and their only child, Dennis, an energetic, trouble-prone, mischievous, but well-meaning boy, who often tangles first with his peace-and-quiet-loving neighbor, George Wilson, a retired salesman, and later with George's brother John, a writer.
Follows the Mitchell family – Henry, Alice, and their only child, Dennis, an energetic, trouble-prone, mischievous, but well-meaning boy, who often tangles first with his peace-and-quiet-loving neighbor, George Wilson, a retired salesman, and later with George's brother John, a writer.