-Come on, Dennis.
What do you want?
It was right over.
-Yeah, right over my head.
-OK, ya big baby, I'll
toss you a real easy one.
-Oh!
Good grief.
-Hey, nice catch, Mr. Wilson.
-You're out, Dennis.
-Out?
That was a home run.
-Nah, you're out.
-He was not.
Nobody tagged him.
-You're out.
The ball was caught.
Wasn't it, Mr. Wilson?
Wasn't he out?
-You're all out.
In fact, if you're
not out in seconds,
it'll be my turn at bat!
Now, scoot!
[theme music]
-Tell me, Mrs. Wilson, are
you gonna throw junk out?
-Yes, Dennis.
Why?
-I collect it.
Mom says I got the
biggest collection of junk
in the whole neighborhood.
-All right, you can
browse through the trash
when it reaches the dump
like the other collectors.
I don't want it all-- oh.
Oh, Martha, you're not thinking
of throwing these things out,
are you?
-Now, you never go near them.
They've been collecting
dust in the attic for years.
-I know, but they're my
old baseball mementos.
-Golly, Mrs. Wilson, are
you gonna throw this out?
It's a picture of a
real baseball player.
"George 'Rabbit' Wilson."
Jeepers, Mr. Wilson, it's you.
It says so right here, look.
-That's right, Dennis.
It's me.
-It's "I," dear.
-Oh, it can't be
you, Mrs. Wilson.
This guy has a mustache.
-Ho ho ho.
-Afternoon, Mrs.
Wilson, Mr. Wilson.
I hope I haven't
kept you waiting.
-Hi there, Buzz.
-Jeepers, Buzz.
I'm glad you didn't get
here sooner, 'cause then
I wouldn't have seen
all this swell junk.
Look.
-Well, I've got my
glasses, Dennis.
Uh, what is it?
A walrus?
-A walrus?
-That's not a walrus, Buzz.
That's Mr. Wilson when
he was a baseball player.
-No offense
intended, Mr. Wilson.
I, I just don't see
as good as I used to.
So you were a baseball player?
-Well, for a while
in my youth, yes.
Class double A, semi pro.
-Well, what do you know?
-Come along, Buzz.
There's more junk in the house.
-Boy, that sure is a swell
picture of you, Mr. Wilson.
Can I have it?
-Well, I don't know, Dennis.
I, uh--
-It sure would
give me inspiration
during the baseball season.
I'd hang it up in my
room and I'd see it just
before I went to
sleep and as soon
as I woke up in the morning.
-You're a very nice boy.
All right, Dennis, it's yours.
-Oh boy!
Wait 'til I show Tommy!
Wait 'til I show Dad!
-Yeah, it's just our luck,
Krandall ducking the job
and moving out of town.
-Yeah.
Well, if you ask me,
that's why he moved.
-Now boys, each of
us has organized
and will manage his
own team, but we
need a president
for the whole league
to handle last minute details.
And as chairman, I hereby call
for nominations from the floor.
-Can I nominate?
I'm on the floor.
-Dennis, what are
you doing down there?
Go out and see if you can help
Mom with the cake and coffee.
-But I know who would make a
swell president for you, Dad.
-Dennis, you'll have
to stop bothering us.
-Hold on a minute, Mitchell.
We haven't come up
with anybody yet.
Uh, who'd you have
in mind, Dennis?
-Good ol' Mr. Wilson.
-Can't you get your kid
to stop bothering us?
We need somebody who knows
the difference between a,
a home run a home loan.
-Mr. Wilson knows
everything about baseball.
He was a famous
professional player
and his team won the pennant.
-Wilson, a professional
baseball player?
-Now, Dennis--
-Sure he was.
I'll show you.
-Hey, Brady, I think
we got a live one.
-Now wait a minute.
We can't ask Mr.
Wilson to do this.
He doesn't have any kids
in the pee wee league.
Besides, he's retired.
He's, he's--
-Available.
Get him over here, Mitchell.
-Oh, now that isn't fair.
This, this job is nothing
but a lot of headaches.
-Look, what's the
harm in asking Wilson?
We can't make him take the job.
We'll just, uh, put it to him,
honest and straightforward.
-And when this little nipper
here showed us your picture
we all decided to put it to
you, honest and straightforward.
Mr. Wilson, it would
be a great honor
to have you as the president
of the pee wee league.
-Yes, it certainly would.
-Absolutely, Mr. Wilson.
That's the truth.
-To be quite honest, Mr. Wilson,
it does mean some hard work.
-Well, I just finished helping
Mrs. Wilson with the spring
cleaning and-- well,
frankly, gentlemen,
I wanted to do
nothing for a while
but just sit in my easy chair.
-Jeepers.
As president, won't Mr. Wilson
have his own easy chair?
-Why, sure.
And what better
way to relax than
by whiling away your time
in the great outdoors.
Besides, it's mostly
an honorary position.
-Boy, I bet Mr. Krinkie would
put a big story about you
in the paper.
-That's a splendid idea, Dennis.
I'll call him tonight.
Such unselfish civic mindedness
should not go unheralded.
-We would appreciate it,
Mr. Wilson, if, if you think
you should.
-Shucks, I-- I don't
know what to say.
-That's easy, Mr. Wilson.
Just say yes.
-Well, by golly, yes.
-Ha ha ha!
And now, Mr. Wilson, it's with
a great deal of relief-- uh,
pleasure-- that I present
you with this whistle,
a symbol of your office.
[applause]
[whistle]
-So, that's about the
size of it, Wilson.
Just a few last minute
details to be cleaned up
before our season gets underway.
-A few last minute details?
Brady, what is this?
Some kind of practical
joke or something?
Just listen to this
list I've written.
"Rocks and weeds have to
be cleared from the field.
Benches have to be
repaired and painted.
The equipment and uniforms
have to be distributed.
Umpires and score keepers have
to be recruited and organi--"
well, it just makes me
tired reading this list.
Brady, you don't want a
pee wee league president.
You want a construction g*ng.
-Just a minute, Wilson.
We didn't force you
to take this job.
-Well, you can't force
me to keep it either.
Here, you can take back your
so-called honorary position
and your, your so-called
symbol of office and you can--
[car horn]
-Mr. Wilson!
Wait 'til you see the swell
story about you in the paper!
They even got your
picture on the front page!
-Oh, for Heaven's sake.
-"Like the heroic boy of
Flanders who stuck his finger
in the d*ke to save his town
from a flood, so our own Mr.
George Wilson stepped
into the shoes of R.C.
Krandall to save the pee wee
league from striking out.
Faced with a problem of--"
-All right, Dennis, stop.
That enough.
-But there's lots more.
-Well, you can't
back out now, Wilson.
After that story, it'd
make you the laughing
stock of the whole town.
-All right, Brady, all right.
I know when I'm licked.
-Ah, nice write-up in
the paper, Mr. Wilson.
You must be pleased.
-Well, no, not pleased
exactly, Mitchell.
A little sadder and perhaps
wiser, but not pleased.
-Well, Mr. President,
I, uh, showed you
where the pick and shovel
and the wheelbarrow are kept.
Let's get cracking.
Uh, better clear the rocks
off the field first, huh?
-Don't you worry, Mr. Wilson.
When I'm not
practicing, I'll help
you pile up rocks and things.
-Oh joy.
Ah!
Well, thank goodness
that's the last of those.
Mr. Wilson, have a
cold one on the house.
-Oh, good, good, Alice.
-Honestly, I don't know what
the pee wee league would
have done without
you this past week.
-Oh, well, thank you.
I could certainly
use one of these.
[boys yelling]
-Ah, nothing like taking
it easy, eh, Wilson?
-Taking it easy?
Why, Brady, this is
first break I've taken.
-Look, Wilson, there's a couple
of things you overlooked.
You'll have to get
some new base pads.
And when you distributed
the uniforms,
you goofed on my manager's cap.
It's too small.
-Oh no, the cap's
not too small, Brady.
Your head's just too big.
HENRY (OFFSCREEN):
(HOARSELY) Hi, fellas.
-Well, what's the
matter, Mitchell, boy?
A little out of condition?
Well, I guess managing separates
the men from the boys, eh?
-We've finished practice.
You can have the field, Brady.
-Oh, the Tigers don't need
much practice, Mitchell.
When I found out our
lead-off game tomorrow
is with your Bears I've
been taking it kind of easy.
-Are you sure you're
all right, dear?
You look terrible.
-Well, aside from being
a little hoarse and,
and being sore
all over and being
a little winded and
tired, I'm fine, I guess.
-I think you should go
home and take a hot shower.
-OK dear, I will.
-Oh, that Brady.
Mitchell, I just hope your
team beats the socks off him
tomorrow.
-Well, he's got a strong
team, but I think we can.
Mr. Wilson, I'm
sorry I haven't been
able to help you around here.
I, I know you've had a lot
of thankless work to be done.
-Oh, that's all right, Mitchell.
After today, I'll be
back in my easy chair.
And believe me, it'll take
a derrick to get me out.
-Well, if it were
just laryngitis
it wouldn't be so
bad, but you have
a degree temperature, Henry.
-(HOARSELY) I guess we'll
just have to forfeit the game.
-Oh, and after all my hard work.
Well, I guess that's the only
thing you can do, Mitchell.
-Jeepers, you mean give
up without even trying?
-(HOARSELY) I'm afraid so, son.
Team's gotta have a manager.
It's one of the league
rules, you know that.
Unless Mr. Wilson would-- no,
that'd be asking too much.
-Uh, well, you'll be
up in a day or so.
Take good care of him, Alice.
I'll just run along.
-I sure am disappointed, Dad.
Mr. Wilson!
Mr. Wilson!
-Huh?
What is it, Dennis?
-Won't you manage our team for
just this one game, please?
-No, Dennis, I will not.
-Mr. Wilson!
-Oh, what are you doing here?
-Your wife told me
I'd fine you here.
Look, Wilson, can't
you do anything right?
First you give me a
hat that's too small,
then you give me
one that's too big.
Now how am I supposed
to manage a team today
in this contraption?
-Oh, relax, Brady.
The game has been called
on account of laryngitis.
Henry Mitchell's sick.
-Well, that's one way to weasel
out of getting clobbered.
-Won't you change your mind and
manage our team just this once,
Mr. Wilson?
Look, I even wore your
picture for good luck.
-Oh ho ho!
Wilson manage the team?
Oh ho ho, now I've
heard everything.
Hoo hoo hoo.
-And just what is so
funny about that, Brady?
-Mr. Wilson was a
real baseball player.
-Yeah?
Then I'm a bullfighter.
-Oh, is that so?
Well, it just so happens
the proof is right here.
This happens to be the
official souvenir picture each
and every member of the Herkimer
County pennant-winning team
had taken.
-"Pennant-winning team."
Fess up, fella.
You were just dressed up for
a masquerade, weren't you?
-A masquerade?
A masquerade?
Dennis, if your
offer is still open,
I'll be honored to manage
the Bears today for you.
-Ho ho, this is too much.
-You will?
Oh boy!
Hey mom, hey dad!
-Get him!
Come on, get him good!
-Ball two!
High!
Strike three!
[boys cheering]
-Howdy, Mrs. Mitchell.
-Oh, hello, Buzz.
Another load of junk?
-Yeah, I'm on my
way to the dump.
I thought I'd like to stop
buy and catch a little bit
of the game, if
it isn't too late.
-I'm afraid it is
for the Bears, Buzz.
It's the top of the
sixth and the Tigers
are leading five to nothing.
[boys cheering]
-Correction, please.
My Tigers are leading
six to nothing
and it's the last inning.
-That's the way to go
in there, Billy boy.
You want to forfeit
the game, Wilson?
No sense in
prolonging the agony.
-The game's not over
'til the last out
of the last inning, Brady.
Come on now, Dennis.
Bear down!
Remember, Bears, two away!
-Ball one.
-Stay alive, Billy.
You got 'em?
Great, this'll really fix 'em.
-Come on, Dennis.
Just one more is all we need.
[cheering]
-Good work, fellas, good work.
Good work, Tommy.
-OK, men, when we go
out there this time,
we're gonna use a
little psychology.
Now I've got one
for each of you.
We're gonna play a
little joke on Wilson.
-Now let's see.
Uh, Tommy's up first,
Dennis, you're on deck,
and Herbie's in the hole.
-Oh, Mr. Wilson!
Look!
It's a masquerade, Wilson!
Just wanted to make
you feel at home.
Ha ha ha!
-Come on, Bears.
Now let's get some runs.
-Get out there, g*ng!
Come on!
Ha ha!
[cheering]
-Well done!
You did it!
Good for you.
-Oh boy, it's six to
one and it's my turn.
-That's right,
Dennis, that's right.
You keep your eye on me now
and remember those signals.
-Right!
[cheering]
[cheering]
-Throw it in!
-Safe!
[cheering]
-Hey, Mr. Wilson, Mr. Wilson!
I made it!
I made a home run!
-You certainly did.
-Boy, what a great
signal that was.
-Signal?
-Your handkerchief.
When you took it out, I knew
that was the steal sign.
Boy, you're the
swellest manager ever.
-All right now, Herbie.
In this inning, everybody hits.
Get in there.
[cheering]
-You're out!
[cheering]
-Strike one!
Strike two!
-Strike two.
UMPIRE (OFFSCREEN):
Strike three!
You're out!
[boys cheering]
-He struck out.
It looks like our
Tigers are going
to b*at your Bears,
Mrs. Mitchell.
-Oh, is that so, Mrs. Brady?
-OK, Wilson, you're
down to your last out.
Want to quit?
-The Bears never quit!
Who's next?
-I am, Mr. Wilson, I am.
-Oh.
Oh, fine, fine.
Now Newton, when you get up to
that plate, hit me a home run.
-Oh boy!
-Oh, Newton!
Newton, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
Here, this may help.
-Aw, come on.
Wilson, have a heart.
Don't bring up your
power hitter now.
-Hey, Dennis, getting
ready to go home?
I told you your team couldn't
hit the side of a barn.
-Strike one.
-Boy, if that ball was Johnny
Brady's nose, we could hit it.
-Dennis, that's it, that's it.
Uh, umpire!
Time out!
Stop the game!
Newton, come here.
I want to talk to you.
-Time.
-Come here, Newton.
Oh, and all you other Bears.
Come on, gather around me.
Now, we're down to
our last strike.
It's time for drastic measures.
Now, I want you to tell
me the one thing that
makes you madder than anything.
Newton?
-Cello lessons.
-Uh, Chuck?
-My teacher, Miss Perkins.
-Stevie?
-Dancing and girls.
-That's the spirit.
Now, when you get
up to home plate,
I want you to think that the
ball is the one thing that
makes you madder than
anything and it's
your one chance
to give it a sock.
OK?
-(IN UNISON) Yeah!
-Now get out there.
All right, fellas,
back in the dugout now.
All right, come on now.
Remember, Newton--
cello lessons!
Cello!
Cello!
Cello!
Cello!
Cello!
[cheering]
-All right now, Stevie.
Remember, dancing with girls.
Girls!
Go on now, remember.
TIGERS PLAYER
(OFFSCREEN): Get him!
Come on, get him good.
-Dancing!
Girls!
Girls!
Dancing!
Girls!
[cheering]
-What's he doing
over there, anyway?
-OK, Chuck.
Now you get in there and
remember Miss Perkins.
Remember.
Go on.
Teacher, teacher!
Teacher!
Perkins!
[cheering]
-Washing!
Washing!
Washing!
[cheering]
-Hee hee!
[cheering]
-Good going, Mr. Wilson.
Nice going.
-I'm protesting
the game, Wilson.
-Protesting?
On what grounds?
-Why, uh, unfair
signals, that's why.
I never saw or heard
anything like 'em.
Where'd you get 'em anyway?
-At a masquerade, Brady.
-Sure it's all right, Buzz?
-Sure.
I was just hauling
it out to the dump.
-Oh boy!
-I thought you were
wonderful, boys.
-Hey, Mr. Wilson.
-Dennis, where on
earth did you get that?
-From Buzz's junk trunk.
It's for you, Mr. Wilson.
-For me?
Whatever for, Dennis?
To sit in while you
manage the Bears.
-Oh no, Dennis.
-Well, jeepers, Mr. Wilson.
You said you always wanted
to belong to the easy chair
league, and until Dad
gets well and comes back,
you can manage the Bears
from your own easy chair.
-Well, all right, Dennis.
All right.
Ah, it feels good.
That's a good idea.
-And I certainly want to
thank you, Mr. Wilson,
for coming to my rescue
the last few days.
-Well, you sound all right.
Are you sure you
feel well again?
-Oh, Henry's fine now, thanks
to pills and about quarts
of orange juice.
Oh, and you, of
course, Mr. Wilson.
-Oh.
-Hey, Mr. Wilson, Mr.
Krinkie's coming up the walk.
He says he wants to talk to you.
-Krinkie?
Now what could he be wanting?
-Maybe he wants to
put in his paper
the swell way you
managed the Bears.
-Anybody home?
-Oh, hello, Krinkie.
Yes, come on in.
-Uh, morning, George.
-Morning, Mrs. Wilson.
-Good morning, Mr. Krinkie.
-Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell.
-Mr. Krinkie.
-I've got to hand
it to you, George,
you're a remarkable man.
-Well, it's remarkable
I'm still alive after what
I've been through.
-Why, what you've done
in pee wee baseball
has created such a stir, George,
that my paper has decided
to sponsor a pee
wee football league.
-Well, that's your
problem, Krinkie.
-Well, the baseball
season'll soon be over
and, well, everything
falls right into line.
-What falls into line?
-You, George.
-Oh, now, Krinkie, if
you think for one--
-Now, George, we
need a good president
and you've had experience.
-Jeepers, that's swell!
You were a football player
too, huh, Mr. Wilson?
-Now look here, Krinkie.
I'll do nothing of the sort.
Now you can take your
pee wee football--
-It's too late.
I took the liberty of putting
your picture in the paper
this morning.
-My picture?
"Wilson Drafted?"
Why, this is fantastic.
-Jeepers, that's
great, Mr. Wilson!
I'm gonna sign up for pee
wee football right today!
-Now, don't you worry, George.
It's merely an
honorary position.
If you'll meet me at the
stadium tomorrow morning--
it's a little overgrown,
a few little weeds
and bushes to pick up
and stuff like that.
-Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
Great Scott!
[theme music]
03x08 - Dennis and the Pee Wee League
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Follows the Mitchell family – Henry, Alice, and their only child, Dennis, an energetic, trouble-prone, mischievous, but well-meaning boy, who often tangles first with his peace-and-quiet-loving neighbor, George Wilson, a retired salesman, and later with George's brother John, a writer.
Follows the Mitchell family – Henry, Alice, and their only child, Dennis, an energetic, trouble-prone, mischievous, but well-meaning boy, who often tangles first with his peace-and-quiet-loving neighbor, George Wilson, a retired salesman, and later with George's brother John, a writer.