01x07 - Faredevils/Friendship Ball

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Three! ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ Three! ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ Three! ♪

♪ One, two, three! ♪

So, Herby, what is

this thing again?

It's a kite.

They were really cool

a long, loooooong time ago.

It's supposed to fly.

Oooooh!

And what does it do?

[grunt]

[scream]

Maybe it's voice activated.

Fly.

Ahem...

Fly!

Fly! Soar!

Take flight!

Oh, oh, I know...

Fly.

[Burt]

Kirbie, let me try!

[panting]

Owwwwww!!

Hey, it att*cked me!

Hey, you leave Burt alone!

Retro junk.

I miss it already.

Oh, what's this?

Donnie's a hero.

What a surprise.

Here we go...

You want it?

Jump!

[grunt]

Ha! Can't get it,

can y--

AHHH!

What're you flying on?

Ugh.

Um, it's only the coolest,

most awesome thing

out there right now.

That's not a very good

name for it.

Ugh, it's called

a skyboard,

and EVERYBODY

has one.

Well, I find THAT

hard to believe.

[all gasp]

Have fun with that obviously

very unpopular toy, amigodoofs!

I will!

I love this thing!

[forced chuckle]

Okay, we all have to get

skyboards IMMEDIATELY.

Ack!

We would like your

snazziest skyboards...

Three of them.



Please.

Uh, ahem...

Uh, money?

Well, aren't they

standard-issue or something?

Like school uniforms--

everyone gets one?

Oh, a bunch of

wise guys, huh?

[chuckles,

cracks knuckles]

Do not come back without

dough to buy the skyboards!

How're we supposed to

get that kind of cash?

Uh, you can go to

"Couch Planet," perhaps,

and, uh, look for money under

the cushions, for all I care.

Good day!

Aw, thanks!

We'll do just that.

[Woody] Yeah, Herb,

this doesn't seem right.

I'm almost finished

my scan of the galaxy,

and still no

"Couch Planet."

Keep trying, Woody.

And I'll keep trying this!

[gasp]

It's flying!

It's fly...

I figured it ou--

Ouch!!

Hey!

Check out that thumb.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪]

Thumbs up to

you too, dude!

Thanks a lot for stopping.

I'm heading to

Easy Chair Planet.

We're heading to Couch Planet,

so it's gotta be on our way.

Couch Planet?

Never heard of it.

[Woody]

Bad news, amigos.

Scan just finished,

and there's no "Couch Planet."

[groan]

Well, how will we get money now?

I don't have

a lot of cash,

but, um, here's some

change for the ride.

Good luck!

Um, is this

taxi available?

"Taxi?"

[slot machine ring]

If we get enough

taxi customers,

we'll make the money

we need to buy skyboards!

Where to,

mister?

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[chuckle] Can you believe he

used to race pigs for a living?

You meet the most interesting

people doing this job.

We just need

one more big customer

and we can finally score

our skyboards!

Uh, hey there.

My friend Jerry and I

are lookin' for a ride.

Uh huh.

Will you excuse us

for a second?

This guy seems weird.

His friend is

a hunk of cheese.

Nah, he's okay.

Besides, Burt's

really taking

a liking to

his buddy.

Remember, one more

big customer,

and we all get

skyboards, okay?

Destination,

please!

We're goin' to the bank on

the other side of the galaxy,

and we'll need you to wait

while I make my transaction

and then drive us home...

[chuckle]

How 'bout it?

You got it.

Yes!!

To the bank!

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪]

It'll only be a minute.

Just, uh, keep

the ship running.

We're finally gonna

get our skyboards!

There's so many cool things

I'm gonna do with mine.

[both]

Me too...

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪]

Go, go, go!

Sir, yes sir!

[sound of tires peeling]

[alarm blaring]

Whoa, whey have a whole

bag full of loot!

Must be nerve-wracking,

carrying around that kinda cash.

Well, it would explain why

they're both sweating buckets.

[siren]

It's the fuzz!

Huh.

I wonder what they want.

Hey, uh...

I don't see your

taxi license displayed.

That's a huge fine

if the cops catch ya.

Taxi license?

We don't have one.

Well, you better

keep driving then.

What other infractions are

you lawbreakers hidin'?

Oh, just as I thought.

No air freshener dangling

from the mirror...

Uh, no place to store

your very old magazines...

No disco ball?!

Oh, that'll be

an even huger fine!

Oh, the humanity!

"Huger?"

You hear that, Burt?

Uh huh.

[nervous gulp]

Um, Herby,

maybe we should

pull over.

[Woody] Yeah, Herb.

This doesn't seem right.

Infractions equal fines.

Fines equal money.

If we don't have any money,

we don't get any skyboards.

[gasp]

Look, an asteroid belt!

Punch it, Woody!

[tire skidding noises,

siren blaring]

Through that wormhole!

[Woody]

Oh man, not another wormhole!

[Burt]

Well, would you look at that--

Couch Planet!

That meteor has a cave.

Let's hide out in there.

Hm.

This place has a familiar odor.

Yeah, I think

it's your breath.

Ahhh.

That's it.

There's an exit!

[roar]

[gasp]

Look out!

[tire screeching sound]

We surrender!

We're just a group of young,

go-getting entrepreneurs

who wanted to make

some extra cash to buy--

Wendell, exit the vehicle!

You're under arrest.

...Space cop.

"Wendell?!"

Him and his hunk a'cheese

robbed three banks today

and used unsuspecting

taxis to get away.

You were his

latest victims.

Now come out!

We know you're

in there.

Why would you

do all this?

It's as dark and

gruesome as a tale gets...

I've got octuplets

at home.

Awwww...

It's not cute!

They're years old

and all want skyboards.

I bought one

and asked them to share,

and you know what they did?

They laughed in my face.

"Ha!"

Just like that,

but eight times...

Ha, ha,

ha, ha, ha,

ha, ha...

[coughing]

ha ha ha ha.

That's Trudy.

She has bronchitis.

His math checks out.

I was at a breaking point

and needed to make enough to buy

skyboards for all of them.

Well, won't have to

worry about

your disrespecting

octuplets in space jail.

Now let's go...

No way!

I'm takin' this vehicle

and I'm travelling

far, far away.

And this kid is

gonna drive us there.

[gasp]

Burt!



Wait...

Can I at least get

my kite before you go?

Make it snappy.

Jerry's gettin' restless.

Burt, hit the ground!

[pained groan]

Oh my...

You and your cheesy accomplice

are under arrest.

Jerry can't go to prison!

They'll eat him alive!

♪ [dramatic music] ♪

Thanks for your help, kids.

Here's your reward.

Skyboards?

Awesome!

This is incredible!

But wait... I thought the police

usually gave cash rewards.

Used to be cash, but everyone

wants skyboards these days.

[siren]

[siren]

Thanks for the lift

back to the station.

[laugh] You know what's

funny about all this?

We thought you were

after us the whole time

because we don't have

a taxi license!

[all laugh]

Ha-space-cop-ha...

That is funny.

...Although it's

a very serious infraction

of several bylaws.

Well, at least we made

a lot of money

from all those

other customers.

[skinny cop]

And here is your fine for that.

Ack!

[rain pattering on glass]

[repetitive squeaking]

[repetitive squeaking]

Ugh!

I'm so bored!

Huh?

[gasp]

I've got it!

This may shock you,

but when I was a kid people

thought I was a bit...

odd.

I didn't have many

friends to hang out with

and spent my time

banging away solo.

I dreamed of someday

having two best friends

that were just

as odd as me

and we could do cool

stuff together.

I spent that alone time

creating the greatest

buddy game ever...

Friendship ball!

That sounds perfect

for best buds!

How do you win,

uh, er - play?

Okay, the rules

to Friendship Ball are simple.

Grab some friends,

real

or bananas with faces,

ignite your ball...

And then,

have a blast!

Off!

[♪♪♪]

[scoring buzzer]

[laughs]

So graceful.

[sniffles]

Who'da thunk it's

three times as fun

when you play it

with actual friends?

Aw, well no one's a better

friend than you Burt.

Or a better Friendship

Ball player!

You're like... a pro.

Your trophy case

must be huge.

Except there are no trophies

in Friendship Ball...

because everyone's

a winner!

But...

if everyone wins,

how do you know who won?

Who gets the prize?

The only prize

in Friendship Ball

is friendship.

And [sniff]

and now I have actual real

life friends to play with.

[sobs]

I'm so happy!

Morning best friends!

Huh?

Hmmm.

That's weird.

[distant screaming]

Huh, that's double weird.

[♪♪♪]

[crowd cheering]

[♪♪♪]

[screams]

[giggles]

What's going on?

[laughs]

Steve goes down!

Hey, Burt!

We're playing your game,

Turbo Ball!

Boom! [laughs]

You're out Gary!

Wait, out?

Turbo Ball?

That's not how you play

or pronounce Friendship Ball...

Bang!

That's a Double Trouble, Gary!

I get all your

turbo points!

Incoming!

But, can someone tell me what

in the what-what this is?

I just felt that

Friendship Ball needed

a few new rules...

so I created

a point system

and changed the name,

you know?

No big deal, bud!

Yeah, at first I was all,

"I don't think so, Herb."

But then we played it

and I was like, "Whoa!

This is really fun!"

And friendly!

Give it a try, heh.

You're the pro!

[Donnie]

Busted!

De-igniting the Turbo

is a penalty.

You're eliminated, Burt!

Nuh-uh!

Not if he catches it!

Yah-huh!

a*t*matic out.

I'll consult

the rule book.

Uh, okay.

Donnie's

technically right,

but only if it's after

a Turbo Slam...

Turbo slam?

Booster boosts?

Bonus bounces?

Elimination Nation?

What?

We should fill

the balls with jelly

so we know if

someone's out.

Donnettes,

go get me some jelly.

No way,

it should be jam.

Jelly!



Jam!

Jelly!

Mayonnaise?

Who cares what it is?

He has a point.

We'd know who was out

with any condiment.

No, it's just...

Ugh! Who cares?

Rules and arguing are not

what Friendship Ball

is all about!

Wow...

Someone rode the bitter

bus to school today.

No, I'm bitter because

my beautiful game,

made for my best pals,

is being ruined.

[sigh]

You're right.

I'm sorry buddy,

and I know

just how to fix this.

Welcome warriors

to the ultimate,

winner-takes-all

school wide

game of turbo ball!

[cough]

Formerly known

as Friendship Ball.

[gasps]

Ummm...

Last one standing

- A.K.A. the winner -

gets to make

the rules forever!

[all cheer]

I thought you

were gonna fix it?

I did fix it!

This way there's no more

fighting over the rules,

because there will be only

one ruler of the rules,

the winner!

Or we could all play

together as a team,

then change the game back

to Friendship Ball

when we win.

Woohoo!

Yeah!

Or we can play together

as Team Friendship

while we play Turbo Ball.

No, thanks.

I quit.



Burt, wait!

You're mine!

[Kirbie screams]

[screaming and rockets f*ring]

It's a w*r zone

out there, son...

Colonel Cork,

you're a grown-up!

Can't you do

something about this?

Oh, I've been waiting my

whole career to do this!

Woo!

Dagnabit!

[Kirbie]

Ha-ha! Cork's eliminated!

I can't help it, Burt!

It's just so fun!

[screams]

[screaming]

[rockets f*ring]

[barks]

[angry yelling]

[grunting]

[Burt]

I've missed you, old friend.

Just because it's not called

Friendship Ball anymore

doesn't mean we're

giving up on friendship!

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[boxing bells]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Donnie forever!

We're in a pickle, chum.

Good thing we have

each other's backs...

Ultimate

turbo champion!

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[high screams]

[evil laugh]

[screams]

[♪♪♪]

[evil laughs]

[♪♪♪]

Amigonerds, come out,

come out wherever you are...

[Donnette]

Donnie, look out!

[screams]

It's just us

and Donnie.

We get him

and Team Friendship wins!

Uh Herb, you're making

that face again.

You okay,

good buddy?

I'm sorry, Kirbie,

but there can

only be one.

Friend!

[♪♪♪]

Still got it!

But there's

something missing.

Hey, Burt.

You were right.

The game

is all wrong.

He's on a rampage to be

the champion of Herbo Ball.

Whoa.

Burt, are you okay?

Pft.

Herbo Ball?

That's ridiculous.

I miss the old days

where the three of us

just played it together.

Yeah, I believe

that's called yesterday.

But now that Herby

has turned on me,

all friendship

is in jeopardy.

I'm so sorry, Burt.

I should've listened

to you earlier.

Yes.

Yes, you should have.

[♪♪♪]

[shouting

and rockets launching]

Ahh! Ha ha!

Eat goo, doofus!

Ah!

Nice try, booger breath!

[exhales, then sniffs]

Ugh, what did I eat?

[Herby]

Ha! Made you smell!

Yes!

I am the champion!

All bow before Herby

and Herbo Ball!

Your friend's a monster!

High five, Kirbster!

Don't leave me

hanging, pal!

Aw, relax.

I'll name a play after you.

I won, so I control

the game, bud.

Not so fast...

friend.

Sorry, Burt,

but this game is too fun

to not have winners...

Like me!

[Kirbie]

Burt! You need a ball!

I have one.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[Herby]

How?

Burt won!

No, Kirbie.

There are no winners

in Friendship Ball.

It's over.

Yeah.

Maybe I took it too far.

This game was

about friendship

and that's more important

than some trophy.

We cool, Burt?

Buddy!

So...

what should we do now?

Heavy mud metal!

Stage dive!

Belly flop!

That's ten points!

Uh, heh, not that

it's a competition. Heh.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Three! ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ Three! ♪

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♪ Three! ♪

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♪ Three! ♪

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♪ Three! ♪

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♪ Three! ♪