[g*nsh*t]
I need protection, Mr. Spenser.
Here's the name of one of the best
bodyguards in Boston.
[g*nshots]
Mr. Hawk needs to talk to you.
We'll get married, whether her father likes it or not.
Shh, we're here to take you to Thad.
So, why is he after a young kid who just want to get married?
That is the question of the day.
What that Wilcox kid did to my daughter is an insult.
He's gonna pay for this.
Spenser.
Better get out.
[theme music]
(Spenser) Shelley once noted that there's nothing more hostile
to the human happiness than marriage.
I think his first wife would have agreed.
She committed su1c1de
instead of celebrating their anniversary.
Maybe Mr. Shelley gained his insight on marriage
from moonlighting as a PI.
I know, I always started to share his opinion
whenever I got involved in domestic work.
I had known Phil and Helen for almost ten years.
Was in a third row pew, when they promised
to love, honor and obey.
How could I refuse when Helen called me
about her suspicions on Phil's infidelity?
She was waiting in front of my place
to hear the bad news from my friend.
Sorry, I'm late.
Really...sorry.
How could he?
He ordered room service.
Well, it's just a couple of club sandwiches there. It's--
He took this flooze to some cheap motel
ordered room service.
Helen, you know, things aren't always
the way they appear, huh.
If, if there's anything that I can do..
Don't patronize me, Spenser.
- Helen, I just wanted-- - Just don't.
How much does this all come to?
Helen, I can't take any money, I--
How much?
Look, I won't take anything from you. I just can't--
You're going to get every penny I owe you.
Tell you what, I'll keep the advance
and then we'll just call it even, alright?
Don't touch me.
Helen, listen, you, you asked me to do this, remember?
Now, let's not sh**t the messenger here, alright?
Messenger? Is that's what you call it?
Why don't you try muckraker or..
Homewrecker.
(Spenser) I had broken my two cardinal rules.
Never do matrimonial work
and never take a friend for a client.
Time for a cold beer.
I needed to kick back.
Maybe listen to a little Miles Davis
and make sure there wasn't another cardinal rule
I should always remember.
There was..
Always double lock your door.
I liked my stereo and my TV.
In fact, I liked everything they stole.
[clattering]
No beer.
[rattling]
Yeah, I'd like to report a robbery.
Yeah, this is..
No, I'll hold.
ome on, Sus
you, me, a week in Berkshires, what's stopping you?
How does a PhD sound?
Mmmm.
If I don't get out of here, pretty soon I'm going to
start punching holes in the wall, I'm telling you.
I know, Look, I'd love to see you just relaxing
in front of roaring fire, but I can't.
What's gonna happen if your papers are a week late?
Gets marked down, maybe not even accepted.
I could get an incomplete in the course.
It could jeopardize my whole PhD
you know, little things like that.
And that's not worth a week in the woods with me?
Almost.
Look, can't you read book the next week?
I can't. It's peak season.
The only reason I got this space is somebody canceled.
Well then, go.
Alone?
Why not?
Can't you bring your stuff with you?
You wouldn't want my nose buried in a textbook.
Don't make it any more frustrating than it already is.
You really think I should go, huh?
- Hmm. Mm-hmm. - You're lying.
- Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm.
I can't wait till I get back.
(Spenser) Even though Susan couldn't come
canceling a week at the Walt Whitman
wasn't going to help me get over Helen smacking me
with her purse or get my Suede jacket back.
I had briefly considered asking Hawk.
But realize that inviting him to go fishing and hiking
would only produce one of his long, deep, annoying laughs.
I guess I just go it alone.
You coming or going?
Actually, I'm looking for a Mr. Spenser.
A detective Spenser.
That's me. That's the name on the mail box.
The name on my fishing license.
Mr. Spenser, I'd like to hire you.
First of all, what's your name?
Wilcox, Thad Wilcox.
I'm a student at Westover.
What's a kid from a fancy private boy school
need a PI for?
Protection.
Sorry, I'd like to help
but I got a date with the rainbow trout.
You wanna get the door?
Mr. Spenser, I am of legal age
and I will sign any contract
you want to hold me liable for money due.
But I assure you, I pay my bills.
I'll bet you do.
I need protection, Mr. Spenser.
What is it? The full backup there at Westover
taking you for milk money?
No sir, it's a little more serious than that.
Look, um..
Thad, Thad Wilcox.
Thad, yeah, look..
[thud]
I'm just about packed.
And I am operating on my last ounce of patience.
I'll double your rate.
Alright, here.
Here's the name of one of the best bodyguards in Boston.
You give him a call and tell him
that I told you to call
and he'll be happy to take your money.
Thank you sir. I really appreciate that.
Get down.
[g*nsh*t]
You alright?
Hey, Spenser.
You got a real black cloud hanging over you, you know that?
Do not.
Okay, it hasn't been a good couple of days.
Yeah, I don't know where to start.
The burglary or the sh**ting.
Maybe you should start by tracking down Thad Wilcox
before somebody else takes a pop at him.
I figured you were so popular, maybe you were the target.
Alright, look I got an APB out on your description
and, uh, I got a call over to Westover.
A couple of local boys are gonna check around.
Maybe I should drive up there myself.
You're tired, Spenser. Let me handle it.
I'm fine.
When was the last time you let an year old
give you the slip?
I'm tired.
I got to finish packing.
And there's not a black cloud hanging over me.
[thunder rumbling]
[crashing]
[thunder rumbling]
[laughing]
[whistling]
Let's get this fishing trip on the road.
Hey, what you doing here?
what happened to you career, your, uh, PhD?
Now, is any of that worth missing a week
in the Berkshires with you?
Ahh.
I got a reprieve.
My professor came down with a kidney stone.
[laughing]
Damn considerate. We must get out of here.
Yeah.
[instrumental music]
You don't think we should have taken my car?
Why? The fresh air is good for you.
Besides you couldn't have kept me in that town another minute.
Sure, it's pretty.
Sure is.
You awake?
Hmmm.
So peaceful.
Mm-hmm.
Let's not let so much time get between us again.
Let's never leave this spot.
Except to go out for more beer.
It's perfect.
[suspenseful music]
Just a little sprinkle. It'll pass.
[thunder rumbling]
Hey!
Hey, stop!
Hey!
Hey! Hey you!
Look, it, it could be worse.
And, and the inn is not far.
How far would you say it is?
Not far.
How far, Spenser?
Four. Maybe five miles.
Hey, don't hit me, it's not my fault--
I should have stayed home--
Why, why didn't you stay home then?
I should have.
I told you a ' green Mustang.
Shame you don't have a confirmation slip.
It'd make things a lot easier.
It's a shame I don't have a car
with a glove compartment with a confirmation slip in it.
No, it didn't have white walls, plain tires.
Yes.
No, no window on the driver side.
Ah, Spearson?
Spenser.
S-P-E-N-S-E-R.
Trust me, we have a reservation.
No, the window was already broken.
A shotgun blast.
[chuckles] We were hunting, it was a hunting accident.
Look, any room will do, Mr. Tally.
Well, I got to put you where you belong
otherwise the system will get mixed up.
Mrs. Tally wouldn't like that.
Look, would you just forget about the window
Boston Homicide is handling it.
[thunder rumbling]
What was your hunting for?
I already am upset. I don't care.
You're not the one standing, you're dripping
wet all over everything, freezing to death--
Hold it, hold it. Easy. Hold it.
Listen to me. Let me have that.
Hello, yeah, yeah.
Look, I don't want to tell you what to do but do this.
Put out an APB on a ' green Mustang
black wall tires, the windows broken out on the driver side
heading east on Route .
The name is Spenser. We're at the Walt Whitman.
You have a nice day too.
The name is Spenser.
S-P-E-N-S, not C, E-R.
We have a reservation.
Uh, I could put you in the Henry Wadsworth Longfellow room
till we get to straightened out.
Welcome to the Walt Whitman Inn.
Would you care to register?
'How does your robe fit?'
Fine.
It's nice of Mrs. Tally to make the offer.
[Susan laughing]
Do you think anything will ever go my way again?
I have my doubts.
On the other hand, the roof isn't leaking
the fire is warm and we are alone.
Mm-hmm.
I see your luck is just about turned around.
Yeah.
[chuckling]
Listen.
The rain stopped.
[car squealing]
[g*nshots]
Mr. Hawk need to talk to you.
[g*nshots]
[tires screeching]
You got some explaining to do.
I got some explaining to do?
So, where were we?
Oh yeah, we got in to the part where you chopped up three guys
who were after our young friend here.
Right. Now, you tell him what happened
when we hit the Turnpike.
Well, they followed us and they tried to run us off the road.
Now, you tell him why we'll be
chased up this mountain all night.
From the beginning?
I'm not gonna ask you twice, school boy.
Well, about two years ago, I started dating this girl.
Her name is Janet De Franco.
She goes to Barnsdale.
Hmm, very nice. Very expensive.
It's a sister school, where I go.
We're both in our senior year and, well..
College is coming up, but we don't want to be apart.
Except Daddy De Franco
is waiting for Romeo and Juliet
to hit that fork in road.
I'm not leaving her. I love her.
Schoolboy, you cannot love her if you have expired.
We're getting married whether her father likes it or not.
Okay. Just calm down, alright?
No, I'm not leaving her. I'm not.
Is she pregnant?
We're not giving up the baby.
Does her father know?
That's how this all started.
Have the two of you gone to him to talk about it?
Oh, he won't talk to me.
Yeah, well, I checked him out.
See, he's this president of a Pest Control Company
squashed about eight million dollars in roaches last year.
Afford some real secure state.
There's got to be something you're not telling us.
- That's all of it. - Not all.
I took a look at those boys doing the scaring.
They belong to one Lucas Cantrell.
Aye.
Hoo, you two look like you just said a bad word in church.
Okay, you wanna tell us, what's going on here?
All of it, come on, warts and all.
I told you everything.
Lucas Cantrell does not send professional sh**t
to k*ll people who get young girls pregnant.
Now, how is he involved?
I never heard of him, I swear.
Who is Lucas Cantrell?
He's a hitman's hitter
and he does not bet at a two dollar window.
So, why is he after a young kid who just wants to get married?
That is the question of the day.
(Spenser) And it was the same question I wrestled with all night.
Domestic affairs weren't Cantrell's MO.
And the last time I checked the police report
suspicions of his thriving business
were stacking up in the morgue.
W hen the phone rang early
I knew it was my cue to get back to town in a hurry.
We found it hung up on some rocks down at the creek
five miles out of town.
Does it still run?
Oh, yeah, yeah, the joyride, it's just
got off the beaten track.
It's a good thing you're getting out of here.
'I hear there was some sh**ting around here last night.'
A lot of crazy people in the world.
'Yeah.'
Sign here.
Oh, uh, I'd be careful going down the mountain.
Sounded to me like your gearbox took a real b*ating
and your brake pads are right down in the metal.
Well, can I get back to Boston?
Yeah, with a little luck, you shouldn't have any problem.
(Spenser) With a little luck..
If I had any luck, I wouldn't have a sh*t up
joy ridden car miles from home.
And be bunking with a scared kid
a honked off friend and
a beautiful woman still looking for a romantic interval.
Rise and shine, everybody up.
Do I look like I'm asleep?
If we're going to get out of here, we cold use a jump.
What time is it?
.
How you doing?
You don't want to know.
Come on, wake up, wake up.
Spenser, what's your plan?
My plan?
Ohh.
Plan.. Well, I thought I'd go
have a little talk with Cantrell, see what's going on.
'I've already done that.'
'He'll be out of town till Monday.'
Well, then, I'll go talk to, uh, De Franco
and see if he's got any answers.
Well..
...we got a long way to go
and there'd be a lot of bears in the woods.
I don't think they know my car.
Ah, you mean you're gonna put him on me
while you take a joy ride all the way back..
Well, you're gonna owe me.
And you better be careful too, Jack
because I won't be looking back.
[thud]
[engine whirrs]
It's the th year my parents have gone to Greece.
Greece, huh? Greece is nice.
So, do you have any other family?
No, ma'am.
Everyone I know is pretty much like me.
Boarding school kids of rich and famous.
It's kind of tough when you're all alone.
I guess that's why Jen and I don't want to give up
what we already have.
I really appreciate what you all have done for me.
We haven't done much of anything yet.
[whirring]
What's that noise?
Transmission slipping.
I hope we make it back to Boston.
[both chuckle]
[instrumental music]
We got company.
These are guys from last night.
I thought you said they didn't know your car.
Well, I was wrong, alright?
[music continues]
[tires squealing]
Spenser.
What did that sign say?
Dangerous intersection.
[tires squealing]
[horn blaring]
[squealing]
[tires squealing]
Transmission is gone.
- There he is. - Punch it.
You better get out.
Try reverse.
[splash]
(Spenser) Eight hours and six hundred bucks later
I had a new transmission.
It was nice to be back
where I could put the police on this whole thing.
On reflection, however, I knew that sicking the cops
on Cantrell would only make things worse.
So, while Hawk guarded our client
I sought out the one man in town
who could solve my problem.
The man who created it.
(Spenser) 'Mr. De Franco, you, you're missing my point.'
No, no, you're missing mine, Mr. Spenser.
I don't like that kid.
Whether you like him or not is not the question.
He happens to be in love with your daughter.
He's a teenager.
Here, buy him a pizza and a beer
he'll find somebody else to love.
Well, that's very insightful, compassionate, tender
understanding the world of young love.
Get out of here.
What about the baby?
He told you she's pregnant?
What a piece of scum.
Tell you what, I'll double
'whatever he's got you on the line for'
'and you bring the kid to me.'
'I spent a lifetime getting rid of little bugs.'
Oh!
God.
Look at that.
Kids shouldn't cry like that.
They should be happy.
Well, why don't you let them be happy?
Call off your g*ons. Let's talk this over.
I'll handle my family
and their problems the way I want.
(Spenser) 'With gunman?'
(De Franco) 'You're done, Spenser.'
What gunman?
Estelle, this isn't your concern.
What gunman?
I don't know what he's talking about.
I am Janet's mother.
I'd like to know what you are talking about?
My name is Spenser, I'm a private cop
and a couple of days ago Thad Wilcox came to me
with a problem.
It seems somebody was taking potshots at him.
Kid's lying.
I was with him when somebody blasted my car out
with a shotgun.
And two very bad drivers tried to run us off the road.
You went to Lucas, didn't you?
Estelle, we'll discuss it later.
You had no right going to him.
Unless he wanted Lucas Cantrell to put the heat on.
Lucas Cantrell is none of your business.
Oh, yes, he is. If he's trying to k*ll me, he is.
Nobody's trying to k*ll anybody.
Look, may be things did get a little out of hand
but I was just trying to give the kid my message.
Well, he got it. Now, I'm gonna give you one.
If you ask Cantrell to send any more messengers
I'm going to personally hand deliver you to the DA.
Mr. Spenser, Lucas is only involved
because he cares deeply for this family.
He's my brother.
And it's a family matter.
And my wife and I will discuss it after you leave.
Please.
You two have a nice talk.
Spenser.
Listen up
and listen good.
What that Wilcox kid did to my daughter is an insult
ruining my reputation.
I'm the butt of jokes, people are talking at the club.
He's gonna pay for this.
You self-centered, two bit bug, k*lling jerk.
That's what this is about?
Your petty ego, your distorted sense of honor.
You don't care about your daughter or her problem.
I do care about my daughter.
Janet and her mother are flying to Switzerland tomorrow.
Great, get her out of town.
Then maybe all those rumors at the club will just go away.
Why don't you just go away?
[engine whirrs]
Here, Spenser.
Now you tell me, did this drive out here clear your head?
- Let's go. - I guess not.
Whoa, Mr. Rocket, now, what we gonna do when we get her?
I don't know.
But if De Franco gets his daughter out of the country
there's gonna be nothing standing between him
and this vendetta he's chewing on.
Did I fail to mention that this is a federal offense?
Huh?
[suspenseful music]
Hey, hey.
It's okay, it's okay.
Shh..
We're here to take you to Thad.
That's Hawk.
I'm Spenser.
He came to us for help.
Shh..
- You were here this afternoon. - Yeah, yeah.
- You're gonna take me to him? - Sure, come on.
[sighing]
Federal offense.
Fifteen to life.
(Janet) 'Is he alright?'
Yeah, he's fine, come on.
(Janet) 'Is it true what you said this afternoon'
'about the men coming after him?'
Yes, come on.
- He must be scared to death. - I'm sure he is. Come on.
Can we move?
[footsteps]
I forgot my glasses. They're by my bed.
[clattering]
[gasps]
[Estelle screams]
She forgot her glasses.
Push!
Push the door in and then turn it to the left.
Hold it, hold it.
Open the door, man.
- Freeze, all of you. - Stop it!
[g*nsh*t]
'Janet.'
Janet.
Thad.
Yes, ma'am.
There's someone's here to see you.
Oh, God!
[chuckles]
How are you?
Okay.
How are you?
I'm so glad to be here.
So, you've reunited the lovers. Now, what?
Oh, well..
...I've got a plan.
Oh!
Listen, could I stay tonight?
[chuckles] Is that part of the plan?
Oh, that's an integral part of the plan.
[laughs]
- Sure, love to help out. - Okay.
What happened to Hawk?
Hawk is home, asleep I think.
Kidnapping tuckers him out.
Hmm, how about you?
I am fine. How about you?
- Oh, I am fine. - Good.
[chuckles]
I really missed you.
I missed you too.
Whatever happened to our romantic week together?
Will you settle for a romantic night?
Maybe.
But you owe me six more.
Looking forward.
Look, I didn't come here to watch you sh**t bad pool.
And I didn't invite you.
So, what you are doing here, Ernie?
I'm not one of your hoods, Luc
Don't play tough man with me.
Yeah, you're family.
This problem of yours seems to be getting bigger.
They violated my house
they took my daughter out of her bedroom.
I want them to pay.
I want justice now.
Okay, okay, relax.
How's Estelle?
She's a mess. She wants to call the police.
- And.. - She knows you're involved.
I don't think she's ready for a lot of awkward questions.
Okay, now, let's see if there's something we can do.
Got any names for me?
Some local PI goes by Spenser.
I know him.
The other guy's big, black.
'I don't know his name.'
Name is Hawk.
Kid's hired himself some adequate protection.
- What are you gonna do? - Don't worry, Ernie?
Nobody takes my sister's kid
without a very unpleasant visit from me.
(Susan) 'Why don't you two come and sit down?'
'I'd like to talk to you.'
You know..
...I have seen the two of you together enough
to know that you're both very much in love.
That's a wonderful, powerful emotion
and it should see you through along.
Well, it already has.
[both chuckle]
Your caring for each other is a reality
but there are other realities
and they're pretty harsh, I'm afraid.
You're two young people, unmarried
'you're about to have a baby..'
There're so many questions.
Where are you going to live?
How are you going to care for your baby?
'I could go on and on.'
You sound just like Thad and me
talking over all these things for hours up at school.
Thanks for worrying, I guess, Ms. Silverman.
Um, as for money, I've got plenty of that in trust.
And the rest of the stuff, I think
we're gonna have to deal with as it comes along.
'I know we don't know all the answers.'
It'd be nice to talk to someone who did
as the things come up.
[chuckles] Well, I don't have all the answers either
but, you know, you're both welcome here anytime
to talk for as long as you like.
Thanks.
Like you said
at least we have the most important thing
our love.
Yeah.
I just wish daddy would accept it.
It's such a shame.
Yeah, it is.
He has a wonderful daughter.
And if he'd take a look, he'd discover he had
a pretty terrific son-in-law too.
[chuckles]
We need just a little more leveraging power.
You got the girl having me, tell the man to chill.
No, he crosses us. He takes the girl.
We wind up in the bottom of the Charles.
We need a Tr*mp card, something he can't ignore.
So, what are we doing at your crib?
Now we need some place to think, don't we?
You're number one on Cantrell's pop chart list.
You don't think he's gonna have his goblins trick or treating
around your neighborhood?
Only a fool would be where he could be found.
Unless he was smart for, you see.
- Oh, yeah. - I'll buy you a beer, come on.
[groans]
[grunts]
[groans]
A smart fool and his beer are soon party.
You got any Brandy?
I think I do.
(Spenser) Tying up a couple of Cantrell's men on as*ault charges
wasn't making me feel any better.
I knew they'd be back on the street
before the lunchtime whistle.
And that meant they'd be sticking their fist
back into my business.
Needless to say, the time I had to find a Tr*mp card
to lay on Ernie De Franco was running out fast.
There was only place left to dig..
De Franco's home away from home.
They say you can learn a lot about a man
through his secretary.
You really want a career in pest control?
Oh, it's a dream, especially his.
Yes, well, you have to fill out these applications.
Mr. Defranco personally reviews every potential employee.
You mean if he likes us we might get a better position?
Everyone starts in the field.
There are no free lunches at One-Strike Pest company.
Mr. De Franco insists on it.
See, this is very good, this insight into De Franco.
Mr. De Franco.
Right, of course.
Is there anything else you can tell us?
You know, maybe his favorite color
or the food he likes to eat?
You know, anything that could help.
Mr. Defranco is a very private man.
His life is k*lling pests.
That's what he loves.
Do you have an appointment, Mr. Carnie?
I have to speak to Mr. De Franco.
He's in a board meeting until after lunch.
If we don't get those ventilators fixed in the lab
I am not going to allow my chemist in there.
I believe the board is addressing that issue.
Then I wanna see him right after the meeting.
It's Thursday, Mr. Carnie
He'll be leaving directly, for his o' clock.
When he gets back then, call me.
Is o'clock golf game?
Like, I said
Mr. De Franco is a very private person.
Oh.
On second thought, uh, those ventilators, mm-mnm.
What time was it?
to two bells.
The dogs are loose.
Keep a watch, huh.
[piano music]
[telephone ringing]
Hello.
Mrs. De Franco
I need to talk to Ernie, this is Watson, down at the plant.
I'm sorry, who is this?
Watson, Watson down at the plant.
I need to talk to Ernie about the McGuiness building contract.
Well, if this is concerning business
you can reach my husband at his office.
But it's Thursday.
Well, is that a problem?
No, no, ma'am.
I'll reach him out at the office.
Thank you.
Now, that looks like a bug k*ller king.
That's him.
His wife doesn't know, he is out of the office.
[telephone ringing]
One-Strike Pest Company.
Mr. De Franco, please.
I'm sorry, he's in a meeting.
May I take a message?
No, no message.
And his secretary is covering for him.
I think we just got a Tr*mp card.
Mercy.
Ooh la la!
Well, it could be business, right?
Mmm-hmm.
You know, the question is, is she a pro
or she's just being friendly?
There's only one way to find out.
Well, so you need me in there, right?
He's gonna be jittery enough with me dropping in.
Well, I'm a little goose pimping myself
seeing all these teeth around here
ready to take a bite.
Mm-hmm.
Look, uh, if I'm in there too long..
I mean, if the things don't go well
and you see me running across the lawn..
I knew I could count on you.
[doorbell ringing]
Well, it's nice to see a man who still opens his own door.
It save me the trouble of tap dancing pasture associates.
You got guts, Spenser.
All I got to do is spit, and they'll be over you.
I'm unarmed and I have a proposition.
You do.
I wanna take you for a ride.
Your driver, your car.
What makes you think I'm in a traveling mood?
A little girl who needs a friend.
Like, I said..
...you got gut, Spenser.
[indistinct]
I am Lucas Cantrell, I apologize for the intrusion.
Uncle Lucas.
- Ohh.. - Honey.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cause--
Calm down, angel, calm down.
You two outside.
I love him, Uncle Lucas.
I wanna marry him, it's all I want.
You're the kid that done this to my little girl?
My name is Thad Wilcox.
I love your niece, sir.
I want to marry her. I think I can make her happy.
Oh, you do. do you?
I know he can, Uncle Lucas.
Well, your father doesn't think so.
My father doesn't even know Thad.
He won't even speak to him.
Sounds like your old man.
Can you talk to him?
Please.
'Try to make him understand.'
Look, your father and I don't exactly share
a mutual respect for each other.
I don't think there's anything I could say.
Maybe you just need something to get his attention.
I might be able to help.
What the hell are you doing?
Sending two your hoods to my place of business.
I needed to talk to you.
Can't you pick up a phone?
I didn't think you'd come.
I know you're a busy man.
I don't have time to play games, Cantrell.
Do you have my daughter?
I know where she is.
Who was supposed to bring her to me
and to take care of the couple of other problems?
Spenser and his friend.
Did you do the job or not?
I've done just about everything you've asked.
I've stayed away from my sister and niece
so you wouldn't have cheap thugs
smearing your family name.
I went out the back door at Christmas
When you allowed me into your house.
I even offered to help when you came to me
with a family problem that you couldn't handle.
Is there any point to this?
Only that I've been doing a lot for you lately.
Cost me a lot of time and energy.
The hell of it is
I would have kept going, until this.
I don't know what this is.
Don't lie to me.
Don't tell me you haven't been seeing her
every Thursday for over a year.
Don't.
Because I talked to her.
I went to your little love nest.
If you weren't my sister's husband
you wouldn't be standing here now.
What are you gonna do?
[chuckles]
That's what you're gonna do, Ernie.
It's over.
I'm not gonna see her again. I mean it.
It's a good start.
Because my sister loves you, I don't know why?
I don't want anything to ruin her marriage
so, I think, there's another little ceremony
we should deal with.
[instrumental music]
(male # ) 'Please be seated.'
'Oh, Heavenly Father hear our prayers'
'for Janet and Thaddeus.'
'I now pronounce you husband and wife.'
You may kiss the bride.
[instrumental music]
Come on. Good luck
Oh, I love weddings.
Well, you did it.
You made two young people very happy.
Well, they're young, but in ways that count
they're really pretty grown up, you know.
They have more going for them
than most of the married couples I know.
I talked to them, I think they'll do just fine.
And have a lot of responsibility in seven months.
Janet will be a wonderful mother.
You almost sound envious.
What do you mean?
Maybe marriage is not such a bad idea.
- I didn't say that. - Well, you implied it.
- No I didn't. - Sure, you did.
Where you going? Come on. Hey.
- I got a suit on everything. - You're crazy.
Come on. Afraid not. You're gonna be..