18x19 - Deadlier Than The Male

[bunniefuu]

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why do you miss when my baby kisses me?

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why does a love kiss stay in my memory? ♪

♪ We are not like all the rest

♪ You can see us any day of the week

♪ Oh come around, sit down Take a sniff, fall asleep

♪ Baby, you don't have to speak

♪ I'd like to show you where it is

♪ But then it wouldn't even mean a thing

♪ Nothin' is easy, baby Just please me

♪ Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

♪ If for just one moment...

Eileen!

♪ You could step outside your mind

Eileen!

-What the hell is this? - It's a bottle, Vic.

An empty bottle!

- Where's it gone? - Down the sink.

The malt whiskies, the vintage ports down the sink,

because I got home late?

Six hours late! Had a meal on the table.

For pity's sake! Do you know how much this brandy cost?

Just think of the holiday I've given your liver.

♪ You can see us any day of the week

♪ Oh, come around, sit down ♪

Your favourite, right?

♪ Baby, you don't have to speak

♪ I'd like to show you where it is

♪ But then it wouldn't even mean a thing

♪ Nothin' is easy Baby, just please me

♪ Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

Not the Jag! Not me Jag!

♪ If for just one moment

♪ You could step outside your mind

♪ And float across the ceiling ♪

Right!

♪ I don't

♪ Think the folks would mind ♪

I don't regret getting married.

I had no doubts at the time.

-We got on so well. - Well, it happens, Don.

Many a firm friendship ends at the altar.

I miss part of it, married life and the kids, of course,

but other everyday things.

You know, the lights on when I get home,fire on the go.

When you do think your divorce will come through?

No idea.Haven't had the papers through.

Perhaps she's having second thoughts.

Thanks, Alf.

If Eileen Needham rings again, keep it to yourself.

She asked for you specially, sarge.

Apparently, her husband smashed some heirlooms

left to her by her mother.

She's to press charges against him

for malicious damage.

Go and sort it out, will you, Mason?

JOE: Expensive, I suppose?

That's not what made them valuable.

I can't replace them, you see.

Sergeant Miller said you want

to press charges against your husband.

Is that possible?

If the property is yours and not shared, then yes.

I know me and Vic go up like a bottle of pop,

but enough's enough.

I've asked a solicitor to get me a divorce.

I see.

It's not someone local who knows us socially.

It's a specialist from Leeds.

I'm sorry. You don't want to know all that.

Here's a list of the damaged items.

Thank you.

Is that as far as you've got?

You haven't been supping it, have you?

No! I was interrupted.

Stan Bickle's arrived.

Oh, I didn't see him.

He's parked his caravan down by the field.

- Is he well? - I don't know.

I didn't ask.

David, I know you don't like Stan,

but you could at least make him welcome, for my sake.

Well, why? He's always making fun of me.

Oh, I know. That's just his way, love.

Eh, Stan and me, we've had some right good laughs

and he does pay for his pitch.

Eh up. How goes it, Stan?

Hello, love! I'm champion! How's yourself?

Better for seeing you.

Well, you're a rare bird, then.

Nonsense!

No end of people ask when you're going to be round.

-Well, that's something. - Who's that, then?

Oh, my daughter, Josie. Say hello to Peggy.

Hello. Mug of tea's ready.

I'll be with you in a second, love.

-Is she staying with you? - For the time being.

She chucked her job in and had a row with her mother.

Noreen says it's time

I took some responsibility for Josie for a change.

We're separated, Noreen and me, as you know.

What's she gonna do, stuck in a caravan all day?

Search me.

Week or two with me, she'll be running back to Mum!

GUFFAWS

I'm looking for a Vic Needham.

- Round the back. - Thanks.

Mr Needham?

What's up? One of my lads need bailing out?

No, we're investigating a case of malicious damage

to your wife's porcelain and pottery.

Are you serious?

Do you admit to smashing the items?

You got your boots dirty to ask me that?

Yes or no?

We had a barney. A tiff.

Things get knocked.

Any road, it's none of your business.

Your wife has made it our business.

Did she tell you what she did to my best brandy? My Jag?

Put your black book away.

We'll sort it out like we always have.

I wouldn't bank on that.

She's instructed a divorce solicitor.

Oh! Give me strength.

Every solicitor in the district

knows the score between me and Eileen.

This one is from out of town.

Yeah, well, wherever he's from,

he's wasting his time.

♪ I'm a tiger, I'm a tiger

♪ I'm a tiger, I'm a tiger

♪ I'm a tiger, I'm a tiger

♪ I'm a tiger, I'm a tiger

♪ I look like a little girl

♪ Living in a big man's world

♪ But the ribbons that you see

♪ Hide the real me

♪ Now they're left behind... ♪

So what do you do round here to keep sane?

OK, I'll put it another way.

What do you do in your spare time?

Oh. I don't really get much spare time.

Your auntie sees to that, then, I suppose?

She says the devil makes work for idle hands.

I reckon she should know!

David, why are you taking so long?

It was my fault, Mrs Armstrong.

He keeps stopping to chat me up.

No, I don't!

Well, I mean chat but not up.

I reckon he's shy, your nephew.

Yes, he's shy of another six boxes

that still need shifting.

What happens to your wine?

I sell it to connoisseurs

with deep pockets and strong heads.

The very smell from them boxes

can make you woozy, so keep clear.

I mean now!

OSCAR:If she can prove the property is hers

and is not jointly owned, then she can press charges.

In a criminal court?

Against her own husband? It's daft.

It's embarrassing, certainly.

I'm not proud of myself, Oscar,

but she didn't half wind me up,

all me best brandy and malts down the sink.

That's criminal, I tell you.

Gee. I'd divorce her if I didn't love her to bits.

Always have, always will.

I had to see off any number of blokes to get her,

most of them well-heeled but weak-kneed.

A woman likes a man to act like a man.

- Think so? - I do, yeah.

I had nothing when I met her.

I told her I'd give her the world.

I think she liked the sound of that.

OSCAR LAUGHS

Oh! For pity's sake!

- Now, Vic, Vic! - Oh, the evil cow!

Just calm down. I've only used them once.

They can be reshafted.

The pro will lend you another set.

Vic! Vic, leave it!

Oh, flaming Nora.

CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS

Poor you.

They were obviously of great sentimental value.

Yes.

This wasn't just wanton destruction.

It was a personal as*ault.

In Vic's defence, he'd say I wound him up.

Oh, nonsense.

Bottles of booze disposed of for the sake of his health?

- And the damage to his car? - A scratch.

No justification at all for this.

He must have a volcanic temper.

Yes. Me, too, on occasion.

Let's just concentrate on your husband, Mrs Needham.

Has he ever been unfaithful?

No.

Are you certain of that?

Well, yes.

Has he ever harmed you physically?

No.

Take your time, Mrs Needham. Are you quite sure?

Yes.

Well, then you've been a very lucky lady.

Judging by what I've seen and heard,

his behaviour is changing for the worse.

I think you called me just in time.

- What's going on? - Shift the bike.

It's better where it is, Mr Needham.

What are you doing here?

We had a call warning us of a potential breach of the peace.

Who the hell's this?

- There a problem, constable? - Who are you?

Sylvia Swinton, your wife's solicitor.

- Shift your bike. - I can't do that.

This is my property.

I'm stopping you making things worse for yourself.

Thank you for your vigilance.

Belt up, you! Fetch Eileen out.

She's safer where she is.

I'm not having this.

If you won't shift the bike, I will.

Read and sign.

- Can I go now? - Not for the moment.

What more do you want?

This covers damage to your wife's property,

but there are other matters.

Such as?

Trying to take a motorcycle without consent.

He's joking, isn't he?

We take no satisfaction,

being involved in marital disputes,

quite the opposite.

But we've no choice when one party

makes a formal complaint

and backs it up with evidence and legal advice.

Now, we will wait on events

before we decide whether to prosecute or not.

Let's hope your wife has second thoughts.

You're dolled up. Special occasion?

No. I thought I'd better pull me socks up.

We've got someone staying.

A-ha! Nice, is he?

It's a she and very smart, too.

There she is, now.

-Hiya. - Hi.

What can I get you?

Thank you. An orange juice, please.

This is Carol, our district nurse.

How do you do? Sylvia Swinton.

Hi. First time in Aidensfield?

Erm, yes. How are you finding it?

Give her a chance. She's only just got here.

And I will be working, so my sightseeing will be limited.

Aw, that's a pity. What sort of work?

I'm a solicitor. I specialise in divorce.

Divorce? Anyone we know?

Very probably.

It was touch and go whether I'd make it this week.

I should've been in court.

-Oh? - Some trumped-up charge.

They'd have only banned me from driving.

So I gave it a miss. Saves everyone the bother.

Yeah, I suppose so.

Oh, thanks, love.

-Where's yours? - It's on the bar.

I'll leave you two in peace.

Well, it wouldn't do for me, sitting around all day.

Surely she could knock on some doors for you?

Oh, no.

She's worn our David out with her nattering.

Is that why Two Brains has stayed at home, then?

-Two Brains?David? - Aye.

One brain lost, the other out looking for it.

GUFFAWS

Give over.

You'd have to go to Ashfordly to find anything more lively.

What, like a chip shop?

There's a couple of clubs, a cinema, a coffee bar.

David's always taxi-ing people to them.

Bet he never sets foot inside one without his warder.

DAWN: Hmm. Probably not.

You'd think he'd want to live in his own place.

That is his place.

His?

You mean she's the lodger?

Yeah.

You'd be best to not disturb her

if she's gone to bed.

Do you credit me with no sense?

- Damage limitation. - Yes, Nanny.

That's funny.

- Got one for the back door? - Not with me.

- But this is the right one. - Right key, wrong lock.

-What? - It may have been changed.

- Not a good idea. - Eileen! Open this door!

She may have gone out.

Eileen!

-Just stop and think. - It's my house. I built it.

I live here!

-You gave me your word. - Well, all bets are off, pal.

SIGHS

My dad says, "Josie, you are old enough

to know your own mind."

Thing is, I change my mind most days.

Knowing your own mind is one thing,

sticking to what you've decided is another.

What do you think? Or does your auntie do that for you?

Er, no. No, of course not.

I bet she stops you taking me out tomorrow.

No, she won't. I don't break my promises.

-Oh, good for you. - Right.

Again!

GRUNTING, GROANING

Oh!

GRUNTING

GRUNTING

You are too good for me, David.Oh, hello.

We were wondering where you'd got to.

I came back to keep David company.

So I see.

Right, one more. The decider!

No, not now. It's time we were all turning in.

-Aye. Right. OK, then. -Did me dad come with you?

He stayed at the pub for one or two.

Or three or four. Right, I'd better be off.

See you, David.

Bye-bye, then. Till tomorrow.

SINGING

STAN SINGING

HORN HONKS

Oh! Oh!

Oh. Hello.

I-I'm looking for a Mr Stan Bickle.

-What time do you call this? - Oh, well, I'm sorry.

But there's been an accident involving Mr Bickle's van.

We think he left the scene of the collision

and he might be in a bad way.

Depends on what you mean by bad.

He's flat out in here.

Come on.

He got in about half an hour ago.

Said he'd have a nightcap.

-A nightcap? - Do you want me to wake him?

No. No point.

We'll want to see him at the police station first thing.

♪ Well, since my baby left me

♪ Well, I've found a new place to dwell

♪ Well, it's down at the end of lonely street

♪ That Heartbreak Hotel

♪ You make me so lonely, baby I get so lonely... ♪

Excuse me, sarge.

♪ I get so lonely I could die

♪ Well, if your baby leaves you

♪ You've got a tale to tell

♪ Just take a walk down lonely street... ♪

It seemed the sensible solution,

given the time of night.

There is nothing sensible about this, Mason.

I was following your advice about damage limitation.

Yes, yes, all right, but just get rid of him.

Let him and his wife sort this out

in their time, not ours.

- Just a moment. - What is it?

Do I need to go to court?

You got your answer last night.

If he'd broken in, anything could have happened.

- Said you were frightened. - I was.

Well, then, an injunction

will give you immediate protection.

Hm?

Best not to keep the judge waiting.

I thought you didn't break promises.

I don't. I said I'd take you.

But not her as well.

Well, I couldn't say no, could I?

I mean, she'd have been all upset.

It's no bad thing for her to be upset now and again.

I didn't say it was.

I just don't want to be around when it happens.

It's ages since I've been on a picnic.

-Do you need any help? - No, I'm nearly done.

Go easy on that fish paste. It repeats on me.

- I'll warm the car up. - I'll be with you in a jiffy.

Now, then, where's me boots?

- We'll be in the car, then. - Oh, all right!

Have you seen me boots? Boots...

Oh, where...?

CAR STARTING UP

What the...?

Oh!

CAR PULLING AWAY

Oh, the little minx!

BELL DINGS

Oh, yes, Miss Swinton?

- You did speak to PC Mason? - Er, yes.

He said he'd be along as soon as possible.

Then perhaps I can see the sergeant,

rather than waste any more time.

I'm afraid that he's otherwise engaged.

- Morning. - ALF: Oh, hello, Stan.

You saved me a journey.

I heard you were round and about.

Could you get these shears sharpened for us?

Excuse me. There is a queue.

Oh, sorry. No offence.

I thought I'd dealt with your enquiry, Miss Swinton?

To whose satisfaction?

I'll see if the sergeant's free.

Thank you.

- Geoff? - Oh, yes.

Mr Bickle. I think we're due an explanation.

How do you mean?

You can't crash your van

without giving rise to some questions.

- Have you got your documents? - Oh.

-You had a bit of a bump. - A knock, yes.

Became dazed and confused, I expect.

I just wanted to go home and get me head down.

Well, naturally.

You're probably still a little groggy this morning,

but as soon as you were well enough,

you reported what had happened.

That's right. She's right.

Will your report include your night out

at the Aidensfield Arms?

Well, I did pop in for a couple.

If you're suggesting that this gentleman

had excess alcohol in his system,

you'll need the usual proof, instead of third-party gossip.

If Mr Bickle hadn't made himself incapable

of taking a breath test, no doubt we'd have it.

As it is, the destruction of a bus shelter

points to careless driving at the very least.

Were you careless?

I don't know. Was I?

Well, not if you were avoiding something

that ran into the road.

Yes! A cow!

A...? Are you sure it wasn't a dog? Or a fox?

- No, it was a cow. - Mm.

- Can I go, then? - Oh, yes.

Miss Swinton. How can I help?

Following the incident last night

witnessed by PC Mason,

I have won an injunction

excluding Mr Needham from the family home.

An injunction is a civil matter, Miss Swinton,

and none of our business.

Unless it is breached.

Let's not jump that g*n, shall we?

The prosecution of Mr Needham for malicious damage, however,

is your business.

I trust you'll be putting this case

before the magistrates without delay.

♪ Give me a ticket for an aeroplane

♪ Ain't got time to take a fast train

♪ As long as it's going... ♪

- Mr Needham? - Yeah?

- What's this? - A court injunction.

You what?

Oi! You can stick this!

♪ Well, she wrote me a letter

♪ Saying she couldn't live without me no more ♪

♪ Listen, mister, see I got to get you back ♪

JOE: You're not making things easy

for yourself or for me.

- Have you charged him yet? - No, sarge.

It's quite a sheet you're running up.

Threatening behaviour, malicious damage. Now as*ault.

JOE: Mr Needham claims the man tripped.

Of course he did. It's a building site.

He should've looked where he was going.

Tell it to the fairies. We've wasted enough time.

How would you feel excluded from your home?

A house built with your own hands.

You could appeal against the judge's ruling.

With these charges pending, no chance,

not even if he had a solicitor

half as sharp as his wife's.

She's the cause. I could strangle her.

That sort of remark really doesn't help, Mr Needham.

You know what I mean. It's the way I talk.

I blow my top and shout. It doesn't mean nothing.

Well, you may turn the air harmlessly blue,

but written down in black and white,

Miss Swinton can put any interpretation on it

she likes.

I'll find a base.

Keep well away.Honest.

Make sure you do.

Bail him.

MUSIC: 'Georgy Girl' by The Seekers

Aunt Peggy will be sorry that she's missing this.

What was it she had to do?

Oh, I can't remember.

She just said, "Go off and enjoy yourselves."

LAUGHS

Give over. You'll get the blanket wet.

You daft thing!

SHRIEKS

Oh, now look what's happened!

Help! Me foot's stuck!

YELPS

LAUGHS

Get off!

What are you laughing at?

LAUGHS

Stan tells me it could be a couple of days

before you can repair his van.

-If he's lucky. - Oh, don't say that.

I thought you liked his company.

I do,but I don't like to see him delayed.

What he needs is a loan vehicle.

Eh, what about the hearse?

Over my dead body.

It's done duty in many ways I'm not proud of,

but Kn*fe grinding would be a new low.

If you're so keen to have him on the move,

loan him your lorry.

- How many nights? - I'm not sure, love.

Well, we've got a room available all week,

but this weekend looks booked up.

Book me till the end of the week, then.

Right.

DOOR OPENS

Pardon me, I'm sure.

Perhaps I should've knocked.

No, it's all right. We're just trying to get warm.

Yeah, I can see that.

Yeah. Josie, she had a bit of an accident.

-Oh? - I fell into a river.

But David came to me rescue.

I didn't think you could swim.

Oh, it wasn't that deep.

He was my hero, Mrs Armstrong.

We both got soaking wet though, didn't we? Hmm.

It wasn't very funny at the time

and you kept on laughing.

Yeah. I do that when I'm frightened.

Anyway, we had to cut short our trip to get dry.

I'm going to make it up to Josie.

Oh?

I thought I might take her out for a trip to Whitby tomorrow.

Oh, dear, what a shame. You're needed here tomorrow.

Why?

Well, I thought we'd let Stan borrow the lorry

while his van's being repaired

and you'll have to drive it.

Why can't he drive it himself?

Without wishing to be rude, in front of Josie,

her dad's driving can be a bit erratic.

Only when he's drunk.

Which he is more often than not.

EXHALES

MUSIC: 'This Door Swings Both Ways' by Hermans Hermits

Oh! Oh!

Sorry. Sorry.

♪ Some days you'll want to cry

♪ And some days you will shout

♪ This door swings both ways It goes back and forth... ♪

Bye, love.

♪ In comes a southern breeze

♪ Or a cold one from the north... ♪

Josie reckons that you don't like her very much.

I see things you don't, David.

Yeah? Like what?

She's a schemer. Let's just leave it at that.

I don't like Stan very much,

but you're always asking me to get on with him.

That's different.

He just wants a pitch for his caravan.

I daresay Josie's nice enough,

if only she knew her place.

At home. With her mother.

Well, it's my fault for not putting the booking down.

Then Dawn would've known we were booked up.

Oh, well, it can't be helped.

The Cedars guesthouse have got a room

with its own bathroom.

That might suit you.

Thank you, Dawn.

I'm so sorry about all of this.

No, no. You weren't to know. I'll look for somewhere else.

No, you don't have to.

Gina's sorting alternative digs for Mr Needham.

- He doesn't know I'm here? - No.

Anyone who does has been told to keep it to themselves.

Thank you.

Women's libber?

I've heard mention of them,

but this is a first sighting for me.

If it wasn't for her,

Eileen and me would've made up by now.

Might be an good idea to get your own solicitor.

All I want is five minutes alone with my wife.

Vic, we don't want Swinton running rings round you.

We are on your side you know, Vic.

Yeah. Times like this, you know who your friends are.

Evening.

Ah, Geoffrey.

I'm surprised to see you in here, Mr Needham.

-Like a moth to a flame, eh? - What do you mean?

Geoff, you going to have a drink?

- Thanks, Alf. - Usual glass, is it?

Moth to a flame?

Yeah. Haven't you bumped into her yet?

Who?

The Law Society's answer to Rosa Klebb.

- She's staying here. - Swinton's here?

She's here?

I saw her, with a white clown face.

Beware the poison toecap.

That's why you want me out, isn't it?

You're not fully booked at all.

Gina didn't see the point in aggravating the situation.

I've been evicted.

She's had me thrown out me house, now here?

ALF: Oh, steady on, Vic.

You two, on my side? That is a joke!

- OSCAR: Vic! - Where is she?

Gina!

Gina!

VIC:Where is she?

Eh, back to the bar and cool down.

Sorry, I didn't know when I booked you in.

- So you chucked me out? - It was for the best.

VIC: I'll k*ll her!

- OSCAR: Don't be stupid. - VIC: Marriage wrecker!

Cut it out!All you're doing is proving her right.

We'll decide who leaves tomorrow.

Back to the bar, please.

SIGHS

♪ No one to talk with All by myself

♪ No-one to walk with I'm happy on the shelf

♪ Ain't misbehavin'

♪ Saving my love for you

♪ I know for certain The one I love

♪ Through flirtin'

♪ It's just you that I'm thinking of

♪ Ain't misbehaving Saving my love for you... ♪

SNAPPING

ENGINE SPLUTTERING

♪ Good morning little school girl

♪ Good morning little school girl ♪

We can't get it going.

You'd better call Bernie, then.

He'll be fixing Mr Bickle's van.

Have you seen the taxi keys anywhere?

What do you want them for?

I thought seeing as I can't drive her dad and the lorry,

I might as well take Josie to Whitby.

I see.

An orange juice, half a grapefruit,

brown-bread toast and tea.

-Anything else? - No, that's fine. Thank you.

Good.

And how's that for you, Mr Needham?

Just the ticket. Nothing like a full English

for setting up a bloke for work.

Different for pen-pushers, I suppose.

Well, I've got work to do, so I'll...

WHISPERS

CLEARS THROAT

So, er, did you sleep well, Mr Needham?

Not really, love. Was kept awake by a creaky bed.

Someone tossing and turning with a guilty conscience.

You must snore when you're awake, then.

Me? Snore?

Like a pig with three snouts.

-My wife's said nowt to me. - A silent martyr, to be sure.

Why not stick a note in your little black book?

Already done.

Another nail, eh?

Takes a while to make a marriage

and no time at all to destroy one.

Ditch your broomstick and try it yourself sometime.

Everyone happy?

Right.

Fire her up, David.

ENGINE STARTS

Oh! What was the problem?

-Starter motor not working. - Why was that?

Who knows?

Well, we'd better get off. Thanks, Bernie.

Better see if I can get into the taxi.

No, don't bother. I've found the keys.

In that case, I shall go.

- They got off, then. - Aye.

Better late than never.

And you found the keys to the taxi. What a surprise.

Yes, funny that. They were in the oven.

You know what? It's time you let David do what he wants.

It's diabolical, the hold you've got over him.

Better it be someone like you?

I don't think so.

He needs somebody

with his best interests at heart,

not some Jezebel who just wants a roof over her head.

Well, why don't we give him the choice?

You might be surprised.

Morning.

Constable Younger. Just the man.

Why? What are you after?

I need a favour. Well, not for me.

Alf asked Stan Bickle to sharpen these shears

and I wondered if you could deliver them to him for me.

I've no money on me.

No, no, it doesn't matter.

They can sort that out another time.

Ooh, now, you might be able to answer a little question.

Go on.

Well, if somebody's summonsed to appear in court

and they don't turn up, what happens?

A warrant's issued for their arrest.

-Why do you want to know? - Oh, no... no reason.

Just... just interested.

MUSIC: 'Break The Rules' by Status Quo

♪ Spent a long, long evening in a old h*nky-tonk bar ♪

Stan! Can I have a quiet word?

What's up?

There's a warrant out for your arrest.

- I suppose there might be. - Why?

The local police must be on to you.

How do you know?

A little bird.

Go on! You'd better make yourself scarce.

How? I'm stuck without me van!

Oh, God!

Er, I'm not interrupting anything?

No, not at all.

Why aren't you at work?

Well, I am, sort of.

Oh.Take a seat.

Er, Joe Mason suggested I came and saw you.

Er, we don't like interfering

in people's private affairs,

but with Vic's antics, we had no choice.

Well, I'm sorry you've been troubled,

but that's Vic all over.

We don't think that Miss Swinton

helped the situation.

Why, because she's stood up to him on my behalf?

Well, I've never thought

that you were the sort of woman

that needed someone to stick up for them.

Yeah, well, things change.

I'm tired of fighting fire with fire.

She made me realise

that I don't have to put up with his behaviour.

I agree with you. Things are changing.

Yeah, but not Vic.

Well, for what's it worth, I think you're wrong, Eileen.

Vic is scared of losing you.

It's too late. I've gone too far to turn back.

I can't believe you mean that.

Perhaps you're scared, too.

Scared of what?

Your solicitor.

-If it's that urgent... - It is!

Yes, it is! Can you do summat?

Well, I suppose I can make it driveable,

but it'll only be a stopgap.

Oh, thanks, Bernie.

Listen, there's no need to tell our David.

I'll send him home

while we hang on for the van, all right?

ENGINE STOPS

Eh up.

Where's Dad?

I've left them at the garage. Change of plan, he said.

It's all been about stopping us going to Whitby.

Oh, I don't think so.

Aunt Peggy even said she wanted

to make up for the disappointment.

She's given us this ham and egg pie

and said we can slosh it down

with a bottle of her best wine.

It's just like Christmas! Come on!

-Short back and sides, sir? - Oh, hello.

- Express delivery. -That's quick.

Peggy Armstrong asked me to give them to you.

- How much? - She didn't say.

I'm not surprised. They haven't been touched.

Are you sure?

They're as blunt as a butter Kn*fe.

Well, what's she playing at?

I'll leave you to find out.

Thank you.

Don, have you got the latest crime information sheet?

Er, yeah. Came in today.

Are there any new bench warrants been issued?

Anybody we know?

Stan Bickle.

♪ It's not that lovers are unkind

♪ She always said there'd come a time

♪ When one would leave

♪ And one stay behind

♪ We both know people

♪ Sometimes change ♪

Hello. Come in.

- Is Vic here? - No, no, no. Not yet.

-Would you like a drink? - Not for me, thanks.

-I wasn't sure you'd come. - No.

When Vic arrives, I'll stay on hand, if that's all right.

Yes, of course.

I'm sure there won't be trouble, but just in case.

INHALES, EXHALES

When you finish, get on to the plasterers.

- Do what? -Look, I've got to go.

- Just use your initiative. - Me what?

Your initiative.

YELLS

David!

Where are you?

Josie!

- There's no sign. - Look in the caravan.

Oh! Grief!

-What put them out? - Chateau Armstrong.

- Josie! - No, no, save your breath.

You'll have to take her as you find her.

Give me a hand to get our David.

Come on. Come on, David. Come on!

MUSIC: 'I'll Come Running Over' by Lulu

SIREN WAILS

♪ Oh, yeah Now I'm sorry, baby

♪ I didn't mean to make you cry

♪ Come on Now forgive me, honey

♪ I'll never tell another lie ♪

Er, Mrs Needham hasn't tried to contact me, has she?

No.

There's no one at the house.

-Is Mr Needham still here? - He's gone out, hasn't he?

- To work? - DAWN: No.

He said he was going to get some flowers.

Oh,I need to talk to the police.

♪ I'll come running, oh ♪

Believe me, David, you'll thank me one day.

CAR APPROACHING

Looks like they got away just in time.

EXHALES

Something must have come up.

Yes. Something more important, no doubt.

He said he'd definitely be here.

So you've said.

-But I must be in your way. - No, no, honestly.

KNOCKING ON DOOR

- Hi. - Hello.

Is Eileen Needham here? Eileen? Excuse me.

Eileen, what's going on? We arranged to meet.

Yes, I'm sorry. I...

Look, it was all my fault. I asked Eileen to come here.

What for?

Just something that I needed to clear up.

Really?

And who are you expecting to join you in this clear-up?

Not me, evidently.

Someone a little taller, perhaps,

with a loud mouth and a vile temper?

I'm sorry, Sylvia.

I do what I do for you, Eileen.

I've seen too many women

putting up with gross behaviour

year in, year out until they're worn out.

-But that isn't really how... - I know.

I know. You're in denial.

But I'm here to support you. Trust me.

You don't have to put up with this for another years.

-What if she loves him? -What?

I only ask.

Love?

Like a dog for its master, do you mean?

I'm sorry, Constable Cupid.

You stick to your b*at. This one's mine.

Now, shall we go?

-Well, I might as well. - Let you down again, has he?

DOOR OPENS

-Hi. Is Eileen Needham here? - Yeah, she is.

-Mrs Needham... - What is it? What's happened?

Your husband's had an accident.

Where? How? Is he all right?

He's broken a leg. Possibly an arm.

- Where is he? - Outside.

He insisted the ambulance stop here.

Eileen!Oh, no.

What were you doing, you big daft lump?

Rushing to meet you.

I slipped and went A over T.

I was afraid you'd gone by now.

No, I waited.

MUSIC: 'A Man Without Love' by Engelbert Humperdinck

♪ To hold me

♪ Every day I wake up

♪ Then I start to break up

♪ Lonely as a man without love ♪

You do realise this is a breach of the injunction?

Yes, I suppose it is.

Then do something about it.

And spoil your success story?

-Mine? - Absolutely.

They needed someone like you to bring them to their senses.

I do like a happy ending, don't you?

♪ Every day I start out

♪ Then I cry my heart out

♪ Lonely as a man without love ♪