17x03 - Night Mail

[bunniefuu]

♪ Heartbeat

♪ What do you miss when my baby kisses me?

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why does a love kiss stay in my memory? ♪

MUSIC: 'SWLABR' by Cream

♪ Comin' to me in the morning

♪ Leavin' me at night

♪ Comin' to me in the morning

♪ Leavin' me alone

♪ You've got that rainbow feel

♪ But the rainbow has a beard

♪ Runnin' to me a-cryin'

♪ When he throws you out

g*n COCKS

♪ Runnin' to me a-cryin'

♪ On your own again ♪

TRAIN HISSING

TRAIN APPROACHING

TRAIN WHISTLES

BRAKES SKID

What the ruddy hell's going on?

You know how hard it is to stop this?

MUSIC: 'About to Die' by Procol Harum

Get her going, Harry! Full steam!

g*n FIRES

MAN GRUNTS

Now, now! Don't let 'em get the engine! Use your shovel!

MAN GRUNTS

Do you want to be a hero too?

I didn't think so.

On the floor, face down, now!

♪ About to die

g*nsh*t

Come on!

♪ Afraid to die

♪ They'll resurrect you

PHONE RINGS

♪ Light the way for the saviour's son ♪

Aidensfield Police?

MOTORBIKE APPROACHING

SOMBRE MUSIC

Just stay here for me, will you mate, all right?

- You took your time! - Try not to speak.

We're going to get you to hospital.

He's lost a lot of blood. We need to get him back down the track.

Nah, I'll be fine.

You want to get after them.

Three of them, I reckon.

Took off down there.

We'll get them, don't worry.

No, you get after them now.

A bit of a head start, that's all they got. I just want you to...

SOMBRE MUSIC

He's gone.

So, what are we saying, shortly after midnight?

Yeah, the guard made his way back to the station,

raised the alarm about ..

Mason was first on the scene. Joe?

You were here when the driver d*ed?

Yes, Sarge.

And acting on the information I received, I proceeded to...

Mason?

By 'eck, I thought we'd got sh*t of you to the Met!

No, sir. Not yet.

JOE: Looks like just one vehicle, but heavy.

We'll need to get Scenes Of Crime up here to confirm it.

Just in case there was any doubt, they kindly left us this.

So, how far are we from the nearest road?

Not far.

MYSTERIOUS MUSIC

Here we are. Looks like they turned left.

Not far?

They picked the perfect spot for a quiet getaway.

Must have been carefully planned.

- Where's that road lead? - Into Aidensfield, I think.

I don't really know the patch that well yet.

Pity, cos we could have saved ourselves a half hour trek,

if we'd come by the road.

I presumed you'd want to be thorough.

You really are full of it, aren't you, Mason?

Just trying to do the job.

Well, let's get back to the station. We're wasting valuable time.

Oh, for goodness sake!

- Can I give you a piggy-back? - No!

Thank you.

Yeah, that's fine. Thanks a lot.

- OK? - Yeah.

The train was stopped here.

These woods behind here, that was their escape route.

They came out on this old farm track,

which finally meets the road here.

They picked the ideal spot for a quiet getaway.

Must have been carefully planned.

Oh, it was very carefully planned.

Not dealing with amateurs here.

Three teas and a coffee.

- Coffee's down this end. - RACHEL: Thanks.

The track was very muddy.

Scenes Of Crime are there now, but the tyre marks suggest one vehicle.

My guess would be a large van.

They knew the road was bad, they wouldn't risk getting bogged down.

Make yourself useful, lad, will you? Get us some sugar.

Sir. Biscuits?

Only if they're plain.

Rich Tea. I like a nice Rich Tea.

Garibaldi, we might have some of them.

Well, you can use your discretion.

Oh, that smells lovely!

Nothing beats bacon frying in the morning.

What do you want, one egg or two?

Er, just the one'll do, lovey.

Er...

"Surgical corsets".

No, I don't think so.

Bill... bill... bill.

Now, what have we got here, then?

"Drain, Drinkwater and Son".

- Who's that then? - Solicitors.

Now, we're either going to be sued or summonsed.

I know, it'll be that fella we sold the dodgy jukebox to,

the one we got in the fire sale. He was very free with his threats.

Yeah, all the records had melted!

Caveat emptor, David.

Well, that's legal talk,

for "If he was daft enough not to check it before he bought it,

it's his own silly fault."

Yes, I reckon it's him.

I'll have a look.

Way-hey, I don't believe it!

What's it say?

It's your uncle Herbert's cousin, Cyril.

- Who? - He's just popped his clogs.

Oh, I'm very sorry to hear that.

Well, don't be, because I'm mentioned in the will.

I've been left a legacy!

Where's that phone?

The Post Office reckons mail sacks went on that train,

at least half a dozen containing cash and securities.

Notes from several different banks.

Ah, inside job. Got to be.

The sacks came from Mount Pleasant in London.

Shall we get onto the Met?

I'll have a word with Charlie Hawkins.

He's the man to talk to down there.

What do you want us to do then, Gov?

Look, I realise you won't have had much experience

with this sort of villain, love, but I have.

Professional blaggers, the whole thing organised

like a m*llitary operation. - I agree, but...

hours, they'll be out of the country.

Then we should be putting out an all ports call.

Exactly. Top of your list.

Shouldn't we be setting up road blocks for the van?

Sergeant Miller, can I have a word?

- Got everything you need, sir? - You have been more than helpful.

It's just that some of your officers are struggling with the idea

that this is now a CID investigation.

Suppose that means me. I thought we were doing the same job?

I don't want inexperienced PCs getting under my feet!

I don't see that can make you any slower than you already are.

That's enough, Mason!

Sorry, Sergeant.

My office, now!

Thank you, Sergeant.

I came across that young man when I was serving in York.

Even then he had a reputation as a troublemaker.

Always wanted to go his own way.

I don't want to see his face again during this enquiry. Got it?

I'll make sure he's assigned to other duties, sir.

Thank you, Miller.

- I'm sorry, Sergeant, but... - No "buts", Mason.

You respect the rank, even if you don't respect the man.

We had the worst detection rate in York CID.

That's why they shunted him off to the sticks.

Out of harm's way until he's pensioned off.

You can't tell me the Chief Constable's happy

with a duffer like him handling a robbery of this size.

- That is not our concern! - I was the first on the scene.

I watched a brave man die trying to give me a lead.

Believe me, I want to get these guys.

I appreciate that.

Look, I don't like Detective Inspector Ludlow any more than you.

If he was any use at all,

he'd welcome all the help and ideas he can get.

I don't know what your beef is with him.

But round here, when it comes to CID we keep our opinions to ourselves.

Even if it means the villains walk free?

DS Dawson's not a bad officer in my experience.

If you've got any ideas, talk to her.

Just keep out of Ludlow's way.

I mean it, Mason.

Sarge.

Look, if you want to do something that might make a difference,

go and talk to the driver's widow.

I believe there are a couple of kiddies.

It might be of some comfort to know that her husband d*ed a brave man.

It might help the kids too, later on.

Yeah, it might.

Can I get you a cup of tea, Constable?

Mason, Joe Mason. No, no, I'm fine, thanks.

They sent a WPC round to tell me.

He was in the army, you know.

Staff Sergeant.

He served in Germany and Cyprus.

Nine years he was a soldier, didn't get a scratch.

He comes home and joins the railways, and...

It doesn't surprise me he was a soldier,

because he stood up to those villains.

He tried to see them off, and they were all armed.

He was a very brave man, Mrs Brown.

He never would back down from a fight, but...

What good is that to me now?

What am I going to tell my children,

that their daddy won't be coming home?

They're too young to understand.

SHE SOBS

Yeah, yeah.

He's just a bit too full of himself, if you ask me.

Regards us all as country plods.

Oh, I don't think that's strictly fair.

Really? Right, well you know this robbery?

There's CID all over the place.

And he's prancing around, arguing with the DI.

Well, he strikes me as a bloke who can stand up for himself.

And he certainly looks tough.

You'd like a bit of that, would you?

It has its attractions.

Then again, I'm a sucker for a warm fireside,

and an old cosy pair of slippers.

Ah, thanks very much (!)

I'll have you know I can be tough if I have to be.

Why is it marriage turns everyone soft in the 'ead?

Oh, you're just an old misery.

Nobody'll have you anyway, so you needn't worry.

I'm not worried, I'm relieved.

Er... Two pints and a rum and pep.

Oh, and er... Get one yourself.

What's this?

Had a win on the gee gees, have we?

I've never known her buy a round and then buy another one afterwards.

Ah, yeah, well, we're, er... We're celebrating.

- What? - Oh, it's a secret.

What sort of secret?

I'm not supposed to say, you know, in case people get funny ideas.

What about?

Well, you know.

When you have expectations, it can be a bit tricky.

- Financial expectations? - I never said that.

Has Peggy come into some money?

- Er... - Here we are, then.

Oh, cheers, Peg.

Here's to your legacy.

What did I say to you?

I never... I...

MUSIC: 'Morning Dew' by Jeff Beck

♪ Walk me out in the morning dew my honey

♪ Please walk me out in the morning dew sometime

♪ Can't walk you out in no morning dew

♪ I'm sorry, I'm sorry

♪ Can't walk you out in no morning dew ♪

Could I have a quick word, Sergeant?

Still trying to play the bright lad?

I visited the train driver's widow yesterday.

Two little kiddies not even at school yet.

What does it matter where ideas come from, as long as they're good?

I reckon these villains want catching.

Right.

Fire away, then.

They could have stopped the train on several hundred miles of track.

Why Aidensfield? What did this location give them?

It's remote, you said it yourself. "A quiet getaway".

They took mail bags off that train.

Only some of the stuff's valuable, they want sorting out.

Why lug them further than they have to?

I reckon they've got a bolt hole nearby,

probably an outlying cottage or farm.

We may only have a day or two to catch them before they move on.

I'll have a word with the DI.

Don't tell him it was my suggestion.

I don't plan to.

Ten officers Division have seen fit to give me for this enquiry.

And you want me to turn over every farm,

barn and hayrick in the country?

They needed a heavy vehicle to move those mail bags.

They'll not take them further than they have to.

They'll not sit around waiting for the local woodentops to nick 'em.

This is a professional group of villains.

London-based, no doubt about it. They're not going to hang about.

Then why Aidensfield?

Because it is miles away from their local turf.

There's only one way we'll get this mob, informants.

Oh, yeah. Someone will grass them up for the reward.

So, we just sit around and wait?

Less haste, more speed, Sergeant.

Charlie Hawkins is already on to his snouts.

He'll come up with a couple of names.

What if they're still in the area? Surely that's worth checking out?

I have been doing this job for years.

I'm not going to waste my time, energy and manpower

on some wild goose chase,

just because you don't know how to be patient.

This is what detective work is all about, Sergeant.

If you want to do something, go file your nails!

I'll make us some tea, shall I?

Oh, now that's the best idea you've come up with all day.

LAUGHS

A sad loss indeed, Mrs Armstrong.

And one for which...

A sad loss, indeed.

And...

COUGHS

SNEEZES

Good lord, the th? When was that?

Er... A week or so back.

Good grief, that should have been...

About this legacy, Mr Drinkwater?

Legacy?

CLOCK CHIMING

Legacy indeed.

I mean, how much are we talking?

Only, the last time I saw Cyril, he was worth a bob or two.

As you know, I'm sure,

your cousin was a very religious man.

So the bulk of the estate goes to charitable institutions.

What?

Well, what did he leave her, then?

But he didn't know what to do with Midnight Star.

And I have to tell you, Mrs Armstrong,

that animal was dearer to him than any human companion.

Yeah, thank you very much.

Did you understand what he was going on about?

Midnight Star!

David, we are going to be very, very rich.

- How? - It's a racehorse!

He never said that, did he?

Well, I didn't understand most of what he did say.

Cyril was a racing man.

It was in his blood.

That was his ambition, to run his own stables,

racing his own colours.

Him and Herbert dreamt about it all the time they were lads.

Yeah, but what are we going to do with a racehorse?

Race it, of course!

You know Sid, the bookie. Well, he'd know some trainers.

- Where are we going to keep it? - In the barn.

I can just see their faces,

when we stroll into the owners' enclosure at Ascot.

We'll be rubbing shoulders with all the nobs!

You mean like Lord Ashfordly?

Yes! That'll wipe the smile off his face, I reckon.

MEN LAUGHING

TELEPHONE RINGS

Incident Room, DS Dawson speaking?

Yes, sir, he's here.

DI Hawkins in London.

Hey!

Charlie, what have you got for me?

Well, now there's a name to conjure with.

I thought he'd retired to Spain.

No, no, no, no. Big bank jobs, always his MO.

All right, listen, you get him in, I'll get down there myself.

Conduct the interviews tomorrow. All right?

Yeah, thanks, Charlie.

Thanks a lot. I owe you.

CHUCKLES

Well, I reckon it's lunchtime.

The drinks, boys and girls, are on me.

We have got two suspects identified already.

Well done, Gov.

Watch and learn, Sergeant. Watch and learn.

You know, I've been at this job for quite some time now.

There is a reason for these grey hairs.

Right, well, let's see what the Blue Boar has to offer.

You lot are knocking off early.

Is Joe Mason about?

First man on the scene, I know he's keen to see this lot caught.

Erm... Miller's asked him to stay out of the way.

I can radio him, if you want.

No, don't worry.

You found the bolt hole, then?

No. We've got two suspects detained in London.

The DI didn't really go for your theory.

Well, I don't suppose he'd want to ruin his reputation

as being the stupidest detective in Yorkshire.

We've got two suspects, Mason. I thought you'd be pleased.

"Nailing the villains", I thought that's what you cared about.

Provided it's the right villains.

What's that, sour grapes?

Come on, Sergeant. One criminal's much like another.

So you collar the nearest one and you fit him up.

Saves time and effort. That's Ludlow's idea of justice.

No-one in the police force knows anything but you, hey?

Surprised you don't wear pants outside your trousers!

Ask yourself this, why doesn't he do the obvious thing,

a search of the area, road blocks?

That's proper police procedure, if he weren't so lazy.

We're not after your local burglar here.

It takes skill and expertise to rob a train.

These are professional criminals, they move in tight-knit circles.

Ludlow's right, it's about getting the right intelligence.

Exactly.

Yeah, he was right about you, an' all.

You are nothing but an arrogant troublemaker.

Should never have bothered with you.

I hope you're not wanting lunch.

I've had a bunch of hikers in. I've run out of bread.

You know, I'm beginning to realise Phil Bellamy's a very lucky bloke.

Oh, yeah? What exactly can I do for you then, Constable?

The benefit of your encyclopaedic local knowledge.

- You'd better speak to Oscar, then. - I'd rather speak to you.

Oscar!

I hear you've been ruffling feathers.

Me? No, I'm not that sort.

Here's your oracle.

Outlying properties, Mr Blaketon? Farms, cottages,

anything that might have come vacant in the last couple of months.

So you think these train robbers are holed up somewhere locally, then?

I'm not CID, I'm not allowed to think.

CHUCKLES

Times don't seem to have changed in that regard, then.

So, can you help me?

Well, I can't think of anyone who's moved away in the past six months.

As for deaths...

Bernie had a big family funeral a couple of weeks ago.

- An old lady. - Bernie Scripps? At the garage?

He's also the undertaker.

Oh, thanks. I'm grateful.

What is he up to? Phil said he'd been chucked off the case.

Maybe he's fed up with the country b*at already,

and thinks if he annoys them enough,

he'll be transferred to the Met straight away.

He's very clever.

Rosie, your dad must have an old horse box or the like,

knocking about somewhere.

Well, he's... He's got an old cattle truck.

No, we need something smaller. Something that we can tow.

- I'll be happy to pay. - That'll be a first!

Peggy, what on earth are you going to do with a racehorse?

Oh 'eck! Here comes trouble!

Afternoon.

Well, if you hear about owt, you'll let me know, will you?

I've got to go. I'm expecting a call from the jockey club.

Maybe I'm using the wrong aftershave!

Don't mind Peggy, she's a law unto herself.

She tries to be, certainly.

I understand you had a big funeral a couple of weeks back, Mr Scripps?

Aye, Old Mrs Turnbull.

Her family have farmed hereabouts for generations. She was the last.

What sort of property did she leave?

The farm was sold ages ago, she lived in one of the cottages.

And is the cottage empty as far as you know?

You wouldn't want to live out there, believe me.

It's in the middle of nowhere!

OMINOUS MUSIC, BIRDS TWEETING

Well, I must say, you've done a grand job.

Yeah, well, you know. I just wanted to make her feel at home.

VEHICLE APPROACHING

'Ey, here it is! It's here!

Oh, just think, David, this time next year,

you and me in the winners' enclosure at Ascot.

I'll have to get one of them big hats!

Er, do I sign here?

Thank you.

Aunt Peg?

I think you'd better come and look at this.

Just back her out, David, and then I'll have a look.

There we are, thank you.

What?

♪ Hi there

It's a pig!

You've brought the wrong ruddy animal!

That ain't a racehorse, it's a pig!

♪ Some people say it with flowers

♪ Some people say it at Lloyds ♪

First six months here, I spent most of my time getting lost!

- Nurse Cassidy, how are you? - Fine, thanks.

I heard about the train robbery. Have you caught anyone yet?

My bosses reckon they're long gone. Professionals from London.

Stands to reason, I suppose.

You must know the area pretty well by now.

Well, yeah, it's my job to get out and about to see patients.

All of these outlying farms that are dotted around,

you don't know of any that are empty, do you?

No, not that I can think of.

- Oh, thanks anyway. - Sorry.

Ooh, of course there was Reeves Farm.

That had been empty for about three months after the old man d*ed.

But someone's moved in. I drove past there not an hour since.

- There was a big van in the yard. - Could you point it out to me?

Yeah.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes you said a great deal, Mr Drinkwater.

Mainly about Cyril's religious conversion.

But I don't recall any mention of a pig!

Or a racehorse.

Stupid old windbag!

MYSTERIOUS MUSIC

Who in their right mind would call a pig Midnight Star?

I don't know, someone who is very fond of pigs.

Well, don't you get too fond of her,

cos tomorrow she's off to the butchers.

Oh, Aunt Peggy, you couldn't!

Oh, don't be so soft, David!

There's lots of bacon butties standing there.

At least we'll come out of it with a bob or two.

- You're sure it was a shotgun? - As sure as I can be.

A previously empty and isolated farm, a van,

two blokes mucking about with a g*n. Come on, Sarge, it's got to be them!

What's your view, Sergeant?

As ever, Constable Mason makes a persuasive argument.

Forget it's me saying it. Look at the facts for yourself.

I'll have to get in touch with the DI.

- You mean get him out of the pub? - He's gone home.

Tomorrow he's travelling down to London to interview suspects.

You don't do yourself any favours, do you?

We've got two armed bank blaggers on our patch,

sorting the proceeds from a robbery, and we're twiddling our thumbs.

Can't we get back-up from Division and go in ourselves?

I don't like grudges, and I'm not about to be drawn into yours.

We have informed CID, now it's up to them.

You can make yourself available to Sergeant Dawson,

to give her any assistance that she requires.

- You are not a one man band! - That was never my intention.

Good. Then we understand one another.

JOE SIGHS

He's taking his time.

All right, I'll shut up.

Hey, this'll be your collar.

You don't know me, Mason.

You don't know what I think about this or anything else.

So save your charm for someone who might appreciate it.

CAR APPROACHES Right, Sarge.

Information received, eh, Sergeant?

Yes, sir.

Well, let's hope it's reliable. Come on, let's go.

TENSE MUSIC

The van was right here!

If we'd been quicker, we'd have got them!

Now, now, Sergeant. Look about you. What do you see?

Nothing.

Why? Cos like I told you, they're going to be in London by now.

Sorry, sir.

It's not her fault. If we had been quicker...

- Shut up, Mason. - Now, let this be a lesson to you.

You'll have to be a lot more fastidious with your sources

if you're not going to waste everyone's time.

- Yes, sir. - Right, lads!

I'm sorry, but...

Hm, yeah. Just the two kiddies, I reckon.

A lad and a lass, one of each. That'd suit me.

One was enough for Mrs Ventress.

Personally, I think two would have been nice.

Another pint please, Mr Blaketon. And whatever these gents would like.

- Oh, ta. - I'm all right, thank you, Oscar.

I expect you heard about my gaffe today.

Well, some of us just stick with the jobs we were supposed to do.

You haven't got much time for me, have you?

Look, Joe, what do you care what I think?

This is just a boring stop gap for you. You're off to the Met.

You went to see the driver's widow, didn't you?

Yeah. Left high and dry with two little kids.

Gives you pause for thought, I can tell you.

Well, there's some nasty villains out there.

I'm sure we all want to get them.

Well, a robbery like this, I think it's safe to assume

that they found a bolt hole for themselves locally.

Maybe CID's right.

I don't know what to think any more.

I see two fellas with a van, maybe they were clearing the place out.

Most probably were. I just...wanted it to be them.

Good grief, what happened to you two?

- Looks like you fell in a ditch! - More like stood in a ditch.

Ruddy great truck went off the road at Ayres Beck.

It's taken us nearly two hours to drag it out.

They weren't exactly grateful either, were they?

I don't know. What about the great wad of cash they gave us?

- They were anxious to be off? - Too right.

They won't get far. The sump was cracked, leaking oil like a sieve.

Could I borrow one of those notes, Mr Scripps?

What? Why?

Here. I'll swap it for one of mine.

Hm. Do you think it might be them?

Well, it sounds promising.

You've got to give him credit. He never gives up, does he?

FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING

Maybe this'll help.

Presume the bank gave you a list of serial numbers of the stolen notes?

Where'd you get this?

A large van ended up in a ditch this afternoon.

This is one of the notes the garage man got paid for pulling it out.

Bingo!

This is where it was.

Even with a winch on the tow truck, had a devil of a job getting it out.

Tell us about the two men.

Ordinary blokes.

Yeah. Quite willing to lend a hand.

Urgent deliveries, they said.

Can you describe them?

Twitchy?

This can't be more than three or four miles from the farm.

It has to be them. They knew we were coming.

Someone tipped them off!

How? No-one else knew...

except the lads at the station and the CID team.

MUSIC: 'Tobacco Road' by The Nashville Teens

♪ I was born in a dump

♪ Mama d*ed and my daddy got drunk

♪ Left me here to die alone

♪ In the middle of Tobacco Road

♪ Oh-oh-oh

♪ Grew up in a rusty shack

♪ All I had was hangin' on my back

♪ Only you know how I loathe

♪ This place called Tobacco Road ♪

Hiya, Peggy. I think I may have found you an old horse box.

A chap my dad knows. But it'll need a couple of new tyres.

You haven't heard yet, then?

Thought the whole village would be laughing by now.

- Heard what? - Come here.

I don't think she'll be running the Gold Cup at Ascot for you, Peggy!

Straight to the butchers, tomorrow. That's where she's going.

Oh, Peggy! She's heard you now and she's fretting.

Oh, don't be so soft, David. She's a pig!

And ready to farrow, I'd say.

Oh, no! Are you sure?

I think you'd better call the vet.

I can't afford to lay out for a vet.

I knew she was ill.

David, she's pregnant. Not ill.

Does that mean we're going to have some piglets?

'Ey, you could start a pig farm!

GIGGLES

- I made you a nice cup of coffee. - Thanks, Alf.

So, was it them... in the van?

We know there were three of them, only two with the van.

So two hapless removal men, who collected some stuff from a farm

and then drove into a ditch in a hurry to get away.

And paid Mr Scripps with a wad of stolen fivers.

I'd say it was them, then.

Trouble is, Alf, that's only a part of it.

- Can I have a word? - Go on.

I've made a list of all the CID officers

who knew about the raid on the farm.

I need to add the officers in this station who also knew.

Well, you'd better put my name at the top of that list.

Though what connection you think me or any of my officers

may have with a g*ng of professional criminals, I don't know.

I'm not accusing anyone. I'm trying to sort facts from speculation.

Well, that's a good plan.

I've been looking since first light.

No sign of any broken down vans, though.

Thanks for trying.

The trouble is, I don't know the patch.

Plenty of nooks and crannies you could hide a van I don't know about.

Sarge, couldn't me and Geoff help?

I don't know. Are CID asking for our help? What does your DI say?

I phoned him last night.

I've been instructed to do nothing until he comes back from London.

- He stood the team down for today. - What?

I always thought he was just stupid. It looks like I underestimated him.

That's enough. I don't want to hear any unfounded accusations

against a senior officer.

So we just sit here and do nothing?

What's your view, Sergeant?

I don't know.

Well, as I see it, we have two unknown villains

who paid Bernie Scripps in fivers taken from the robbery.

At the very least, they are material witnesses.

And if they're on our patch,

I think we should go out there and find them, don't you?

What's happened, David? You sounded really worried on the phone.

You'd better come and have a look.

Is it Peggy? Has she had an accident?

She's in there.

Oh, thank goodness you're here.

I've seen my dad do this, but I just...

You've called me out for a pig?

Well, apparently the vet was busy.

It's nowt to do with me!

Yeah, well, I didn't know what else to do.

Oh, oh, quick! I think she's starting.

Get me a bucket of hot water and some soap, David.

That's where the van was last sited.

We'll divide the area into quadrants and move out from there. Let's go.

TENSE MUSIC

Delta Alpha to control.

I've found the vehicle, Sarge. It's been abandoned.

I reckon I'm two miles from the main road, just below Ayres Beck.

We've just had a call from Brooks of Ashfordly.

Their delivery van was on its rounds,

stopped at the end of a farm track.

It's been h*jacked. Two armed men. Over.

I'm at grid reference degrees east and degrees north.

Anywhere close? Over.

There you are, Sarge.

It's about half a mile north of where you are.

It's a blue van, with "Brooks of Ashfordly" written on the side.

- Over. - On my way, out.

MUSIC: 'NSU' by Cream

♪ Driving in my car smoking my cigar

♪ The only time I'm happy's when I play my guitar

♪ Ahh

♪ Ahh

♪ Sailing in my yacht what a lot I got

♪ Happiness is something that just cannot be bought

♪ Ahh

♪ Ahh

♪ Ahh ♪

g*nsh*t

g*nsh*t

Miller's just radioed.

Mason's behind them, and he's pushing them this way.

- Do you think they'll be armed? - Probably.

g*nsh*t

g*nsh*t

Move!

MAN GROANS

Ow, you broke my ruddy arm!

Consider yourself nicked.

How many are there?

Six. I don't think we're done yet. PIGLET SQUEALING

Oh, seven!

Aw, look at them!

I've got nothing to say.

Right, well now I'll take over from here, if the rest of you excuse us.

I'm sorry, sir. That can't be done.

I'm awaiting instructions from HQ.

Now, that is a direct order, Sergeant.

It was you that tipped them off, wasn't it?

What? That is an outrageous accusation!

You're in deep trouble now, Mason.

We've got the van, stolen bank notes. You're going down anyway.

Are you going to sit back and let him walk away?

I have had enough of this! I want you and your officer out of here.

If you've got nothing to hide, sir, in the circumstances,

I think it's best if we stay.

Did you know the train driver d*ed?

You didn't, did you?

Well, that makes it m*rder. You're looking at a life sentence.

I'm not doing life! I've got a wife and kids...

I want this interview terminated,

and these suspects transferred to Division now!

Won't they escape en route?

I don't think so.

Now, are you going to tell us what happened?

Don't look at him, look at me.

And think about your wife and kids.

If I go down, Ludlow, you're going with me!

You want his bank account numbers?

The address of the nice little place in Spain he's planning to retire to?

Cos I'll give you chapter and verse.

Well, aren't you going to get after him, and nick him?

I don't think he's going very far.

MUSIC: 'Train to Skaville' by The Ethiopians

PIG GRUNTING

I should charge you for this.

Oh, well, you can't, cos you're National Health Service.

We're all entitled.

As a rule, we don't do livestock.

Aw, but look at them!

I'll give you one as a pet, if you like.

I've got old ladies I should be bathing.

Next time, you call the vet.

Yeah... But... I did.

Yeah...

Well, you know.

- There you go, love. - Thank you.

Thank you.

- There you go, Joe, mate. - Cheers.

See, bent coppers, villains sh**ting at you,

Yorkshire's just as exciting as the Met, you know?

Yeah, probably more so.

I think I could do with a bit less excitement for a while.

Hi, Sarge. Want a drink?

Lovely, thanks. A half.

- Well, he's under arrest. - Well done.

Picked up the other robber at a hotel in Whitby.

Ludlow's job was to keep us off their track.

If it hadn't been for you, he might've succeeded.

I never liked Ludlow, but I never thought he was bent.

You were right about him. He was a bad officer.

Lazy. He's been winging it for years.

Faced with retirement on a police pension,

he decided he was owed more than that, so he crossed the line.

At least we caught the men responsible for the driver's death.

- So, are we square? - How do you mean?

Well, I was unfair to you... and rude.

- I'm sorry. - Don't worry about it.

I always bring out the worst in people.

CASH REGISTER PINGS

There you go, Sarge.

GINA: Aw, look at these!

Now, they're not ready to leave their mother yet,

but I'm taking orders.

Peggy Armstrong, get those animals out of my pub!

Oh, they're cute, Oscar!

They certainly are.

And what's more, they make the perfect household pet.

So, who's interested?