13x14 - Scent of a k*ll

[bunniefuu]

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why do you miss when my baby kisses me?

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why does a love kiss stay in my memory? ♪

Barbara?

Barbara!

BABARA: Yes?

Les is fixing the baler. Can you bring the cows up?

Bobby!

DOG BARKS

Bob!

Here, Bob.

Here, Bob!

Bobby...?

Les!

Les!

Well, just keep it nice and complimentary.

About me, stupid.

The idea of the best man's job is to make the groom look a good catch.

Erm... minutes, minimum?

All right, Mike. I'll see you, then. See you.

Cold feet?

No, he'll be fine.

Experience goes a long way in public speaking.

So where does that leave me?

We'll sort you out. Don't you worry.

Alf... You know after you got married...

did you feel, you know... different?

Well, I... can't say I did.

When I was living at home

I used to give my wages to my mother and she'd give me pocket money.

When I got married, Mrs Ventress did.

Hiya, love!

GINA: Hiya, Di.

- Hey, you're looking well. - Oh, ta.

Carrying it nice and high, you clever girl.

Is it a boy or a girl?

Oh, it's a boy, definitely.

- How do you know? - Football. Kicking me like mad.

What did the kids think of you leaving them with their dad?

Pretended to be upset, then packed their bags like a shot.

- They'll survive, then? - Oh, yeah.

Better than the bottle blonde he's shacking up with.

Treat their home as you would your own, I told them.

It'll put her off kids for years.

Get in.

What did I tell you? Not a molehill in sight.

Certainly seems to have done the trick.

It's so good, Mr Norton, I have the sole rights to sell it in this area.

Better come and have a look at the tennis court, then.

Lucy, come on.

DOG BARKS

So, Barbara, what can I do for you?

BARBARA: I've come for my repeat prescription, Doctor.

You had some dizziness, if I remember correctly?

Yes, but you changed my pills.

And do they suit you any better?

A bit better, yeah.

When you come again we really should talk about reducing this dosage.

Yeah, course.

- There you go. - Thank you.

Is there something else?

Yes. It's a bit hard to explain.

What is it, Barbara?

I don't think you can help.

Why don't you try me?

Well... it's my husband.

I think he's trying to k*ll me.

VERNON: Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

Not a pretty sight.

MR NORTON: Lord Ashfordly tells me

your assistant was supposed to have eradicated them.

Yes, very probably.

The only thing was, he didn't have the ingredients

for a successful job,

my guiding hand and the k*ller Punch Pest Control,

the all-purpose answer to pest problems.

All-purpose?

Yes. You name it, this stuff scares it stiff.

Woodworm, beetle?

One whiff, and it's a goner.

Hmm. How quickly can you treat this court?

Would now be soon enough?

That'd be first-rate. And once you've done here,

I'd like your advice on a little problem in the attic.

A problem for you, Mr Norton, is a... a pleasure for me!

Bye, Mrs Knight.

- That's your lot. - Thank you.

- Jenny? - Yeah?

How did Barbara Simner seem to you?

A little strained. Why?

She said she thinks her husband is trying to k*ll her.

- She was serious? - Perfectly serious.

She says there have been a number of incidents at the farm,

the latest when an electric fence was connected to the mains supply.

- An accident, surely? - She reckons not.

Could her antidepressants be causing paranoia?

It's possible. What did you say to her?

I told her to go and see the police, but I'm sure she won't.

I'll check what it says about her medication.

Meanwhile, you have to put this out of your mind.

Right, just listen to this.

Uncut hedges, overgrown footpaths,

an obscene amount of litter

and a despoiled bus shelter.

MAN: Yes, but er...

I hear we did very well in t'spring judging.

Most villages can spruce themselves up for one day of the year.

That's why the judges come back for a second look.

Well... there'll always be one who'll let us down, Oscar.

And it's up to us to whip them into line.

A Best Kept Village award brings the visitors in.

- With their purses. - Exactly.

The more money they spend, the more jobs we keep here.

Di, this is Steve.

Hello, Steve.

- Another bobby, eh? - How do you know?

Theres's a rim across your forehead where your helmet's been.

I'm only joking, love! Not a bad guess, though.

Sharp as her cousin, eh, Phil?

Yeah, so don't even think of trying it on while I'm in hospital.

What do you mean, trying it on?

Like asking for bacon butties just before closing time.

Is that as wild as they get round here?

Yeah, I'm afraid so. You'll have to go to Whitby

if you want to do anything livelier.

Or you could get Steve to rev up the bike and show you the sights.

Yeah. Why not?

Liz... Hiya.

Hello. I was hoping to find you here.

- What can I get you? - No, let me.

- I'll do it, Dennis. - Fine.

- Usual? - Thank you.

I'm sorry to break up your romantic tete-a-tete.

We're discussing the living room wallpaper.

Does she seem OK to you?

Jenny? Yeah. Why?

There's something going on there that I can't quite fathom.

She's probably broody.

Broody?

Well, you see how blooming Gina is over there?

That tends to be infectious.

DENNIS: Oh, right.

It's the next step after the living room wallpaper.

Thanks for the warning.

I need some advice from you.

Ah.

A patient came in to see me today

and told me that her husband is trying to k*ll her.

And you suggested she come and talk to us, and naturally she declined.

Yes.

Par for the course for a domestic. What do you want from me?

An assessment of the risk, I suppose.

Well, has the husband a record of v*olence?

Not that I know of.

Then statistically it's unlikely your patient will come to any harm.

Why don't I feel very reassured?

Perhaps because you've become too involved?

If I gave you a name, would you investigate further?

And break the rule of patient confidentiality

just when it suits you?

We're talking about a life here.

Sorry, Liz. Unless this woman comes forward,

you can keep this little secret all to yourself.

How are you doing, Barbara?

- Not bad. - Is Les about?

He's in the six-acre doing some walling. Go on down.

No, I've got the vet calling, I'll catch up with him later.

Steady... Steady with her.

It wasn't an accident.

Is Mrs Simner fit to answer questions?

Yes. She was lucky. There were no breaks,

but she badly sprained her neck when she jumped clear.

What makes you say it was a suspicious accident?

She told me someone was trying to k*ll her.

k*ll her?

She thought it might be her husband.

MUSIC: 'Ain't Gonna Wash For A Week' by The Brook Brothers

♪ We ain't a-gonna wash for a week

Here you are, David.

♪ I never though you'd get around to kissing me

♪ But your sweet red lips Just kissed my cheek

♪ Now I ain't a-gonna wash...

Flippin' 'eck, this stinks!

Well, you've got a mask. Use it.

I can't talk with that on.

Better still.

♪ Soap and water ain't a-gonna wash it away

♪ I'm gonna keep your lipstick on my cheek

♪ And I ain't a-gonna wash for a week

♪ No, no I ain't a-gonna wash for a week

♪ Oh, I don't know when you'll do it again

♪ So I'm gonna savour what I've got

♪ Oh, I promise you till then

♪ I'm gonna protect that beautiful spot

♪ You can call me cookie but nevertheless

♪ I ain't a-gonna wash away a single caress

♪ You can tell me

♪ What's a little old kiss on the cheek?

♪ But I ain't a- gonna wash For a week, a-no no

♪ I ain't a-gonna wash for a week

♪ We ain't a-gonna wash we ain't a-gonna wash

♪ We ain't a-gonna wash for a week ♪

Is it possible that you didn't secure the handbrake?

No. I put the brake on when Gary drove into the yard.

That tractor was held fast.

- Who's Gary? - Gary Shaw.

He works the neighbouring farm.

- And Les is your farm hand? - Aye.

He's worked here for years. And for my father before me.

So was Gary here when the accident happened?

It wasn't an accident.

Was he here when the incident happened?

No. When I told him Les was in the six-acre he drove off.

Said he'd got to meet a vet.

So Les was some distance away at the time

and your husband was in Whitby.

Yes. So he says.

Was there anybody else on the farm?

Not that I know of.

But that doesn't mean to say there wasn't.

I've already done that bit!

You what?

I said, I've already done that bit.

Well, how was I meant to know?

Come again?

I said, how was I meant to know?

It's flamin' obvious!

Where are you going?

It's hot! I'm going to get some air.

But we're nearly done!

Mr Vernon, I can... I can hardly breathe.

Look, just five more minutes, we're out of here.

I don't care, I'm coming over all funny.

Well, put your mask back on!

GROANS

David!

- Morning! - Morning.

Ken Simner.

What's your problem?

I've been asked to make a report on yesterday's incident.

Oh, aye.

What's she been telling you?

Some cock-and-bull story about it not being her fault?

Who called you in?

Dr Merrick reported it to us. As a farm accident.

Yeah. Well, if you want to know what caused it, you can start with her.

How do you mean?

Giving Barbara them knockout pills.

Half the time she doesn't know if she's coming or going.

I believe you were in Whitby

when the incident happened. - Yeah. Luckily.

Why luckily?

Because I know her. And she'll be blaming anybody but herself.

The handbrake on the tractor, is it in good working order, sir?

Sound as a pound.

Ask Les. He were t'first on the scene.

Well, there was none here yesterday.

There's more over there an' all.

Oh, no...

We might as well throw in the towel now.

No, no. Never say die.

Vernon Scripps can sort this out with his all-purpose pest repellent.

Don't tell me he's conned you with that stuff?

It's no con, Oscar.

Ben Norton swears by it.

Vernon cleared the moles out of Ashfordly Hall in no time.

And it's done wonders for my allotment.

Yeah...

You've no idea how it happened?

No.

The brake on the tractor. Was it on or off when you arrived?

I don't remember.

You didn't make sure the tractor couldn't run away again?

It were stuck. It weren't going anywhere.

Have you known Mr and Mrs Simner a long time?

- Yeah. What of it? - How would you say they get on?

How they get on is their business, not mine.

Where is he?

- They've gone. - To the hospital?

Back to base, I think. Soon as David was conscious,

Scripps whisked him away.

- Wasted journey, sorry. - Can I see where they were working?

You really don't want to go there.

Show me. Follow me.

Good grief!

I did warn you.

And David just passed out?

Yes. Scripps said he took his mask off.

- Next thing he's flat on his back. - Well, there's no ventilation.

No. No, all the windows are stuck solid with old paint.

Is that any excuse?

- You're not blaming me, are you? - I'm not blaming you.

I'm just asking the question.

Now, I can only guess,

but it's likely David was overcome by fume, toxic or otherwise.

You really like to stir things up, don't you?

I'm just trying to do my job, Mr Norton.

It's your duty to provide a safe working environment.

- Can I ask you a question? - Go ahead.

What do you do when you're not being a doctor?

Why do you ask?

Just wondered if there was a side to you I might like better.

You probably will never know.

I'll see myself out, shall I?

OK. Er...

Yeah, well, thanks anyway, Mike.

- Mike can't make the wedding. - Oh?

CID are planning a special op. He can't get away.

That's CID for you.

Domestic commitments don't count.

What am I going to do about a best man now?

Oh... there'll be someone.

A mate who's stuck with you through thick and thin.

You'll find him.

Well, I'm glad YOU think so.

DOOR OPENS

Yes, sir?

Is Constable Crane here?

Yes. Steve...

- Oh, hello. I'm Gary Shaw. - Ah, Mr Shaw. Sorry I missed you.

Well, I were coming into town, so I thought I'd see what you wanted.

It's about the accident at the Simners' farm yesterday.

Aye. Sounds like Barbara had a narrow escape.

- Yeah. - Yeah...

She has a habit of getting herself into scrapes, has Barbara.

Mrs Simner said she got off the tractor to talk to you.

I wondered if you'd seen her secure the handbrake.

Er... no, no. I never got out the Land Rover.

Just asked if Les were around, and he weren't,

so I drove off back to my farm.

- That's next door, isn't it? - Yeah.

What time would that have been?

About one o'clock. I had the vet calling.

Why are you asking all these questions?

I'm just trying to get the full picture.

Don't get me wrong, I like Barbara, but...

she can be a bit dozy, you know.

Yeah. Well, thanks for coming in.

Aye, all right.

You're supposed to follow my finger, David.

Oh...

There you are. Right as rain.

I'm not. I've got a thumping headache.

Well, if that persists, you come and see me, OK, David?

So this is that magic potion I've heard all about?

I'd better buy one of these myself.

That won't be necessary, Doctor.

Any problem you have of a... pestilential nature,

just call on us.

That's very sweet of you,

but I'm quite able to look after myself, thank you.

Well, the fact is that, er...

all our stock is spoken for.

- It's never. - I'm afraid so, David.

What about the two bottles that you promised my uncle?

Well, like I said. Spoken for.

You can have one of them. He won't mind.

Thanks very much, David.

It's not the end of the world, Phil. Why don't you ask Steve?

I've only known him five minutes, though.

I wanted somebody who'd known me since I started at the station.

All the old lags I've nicked, run-ins with Oscar...

- Your courage under fire. - Exactly.

DOOR OPENS

- Oh, hi, Steve. - Hiya, Gina. Phil.

There's one in the pot.

Not for me, thanks. Some of us are working.

What can you tell me about Barbara and Ken Simner?

Well, they used to be regulars in here.

Barbara inherited the family farm,

but Ken was never really that keen on farming.

Nice couple, though. Till things turned sour.

What happened?

Barbara had a miscarriage,

and the doctors said she could never have kids.

She became clinically depressed,

Ken started seeing another woman.

Barbara found out. She took an overdose.

I hope there's a happy ending to this story.

Well, sort of. Ken promised to stop seeing the other woman.

Lovely. Talk about one arm up your back.

No wonder David conked out!

Vernon Ssripps has got half the house full of the stuff.

We need to check it's not a risk to public safety.

I'll get it analysed.

That's what I thought. Put it out the back for now.

- Hello. - Do you have a moment?

How exactly does this stuff work?

It works like a dream, Oscar. That's all you need to know.

How soon can you clear them?

Ooh... by the time you call time tonight.

Right.

LIZ: You know I can't reveal medical details of my patients.

- You came to us, remember? - To report a suspicious accident.

In whose opinion was it suspicious?

Does it matter?

It does when their judgement could be affected by prescription dr*gs.

Sorry, but I don't see the relevance of that.

No? Nor the fact that Barbara Simner once took an overdose,

and has since been prone to accidents?

You should think twice before you waste police time

on the paranoid ramblings of one of your patients.

♪ JETHRO TULL: Bouree

STEVE: I suppose the doctor's got to play safe.

MERTON: By shunting her problem patients onto us?

Just close the file and forget it.

Suppose we'd better give him a hand.

No...

TYRES SCREECH

Oh, for pity's sake...

DENNIS: Yes?

The vehicle examiner just called, Sarge.

They're pretty sure Mrs Simner's brakes hadn't been tampered with.

There's a surprise.

Apparently the linings were down to the rim.

Pretty much like my patience.

All right, relay the news to Crane, would you?

Yes, Sarge.

Ken said he'd had them fixed.

The linings were worn bare.

So you say. But he said he'd had them done.

That's negligence, not sabotage, Mrs Simner.

Can I ask you something? Why don't you sell up here?

So Ken can get hold of the money and run?

But if you think he means you harm...

Sometimes, love can turn to hate and hopefully back again.

Whatever, my life's here, for better or worse.

I've been told to close the file.

Do you think I'm imagining things?

I'm sorry. I've no choice.

Oh, Will.

Hello, Vernon.

- Do you want some more? - No, we don't.

What are you doing here?

Seeing how much more stuff you're going to drop on us.

I beg your pardon?

You've got more a*mo in there than Bomber Harris dropped on Dresden.

What's the matter with you? I got rid of your moles, didn't I?

Aye, from one place to another!

All you've done is start a stampede from Ashfordly Hall to the village!

You ever thought of marrying again?

Only to Cary Grant.

Oh, right. Choosy.

What I want to know is why you're not attached.

- How do you know I'm not? - I checked.

You're one of the most eligible bachelors in Aidensfield.

What, with the uniform, rent-free house...

Yeah, sure. I'm fighting 'em off.

- Same again? - Thanks.

Gin and tonic and a half a best, please.

INAUDIBLE

Cheers.

Problem?

No, I... just spotted someone I didn't expect to see.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

Well, if you want to go and speak to them, I'll be all right here.

Sorry. It was a... call of duty.

Well, I've heard it called some things...

Crisis is not too strong a word.

Vernon Scripps plans to sell this stuff to farmers

to keep the birds off the fields.

Now, the pong alone will take no prisoners.

What about the birds? They'll take refuge in t'village.

Exactly.

This place will look like the bottom of a budgie's cage!

STEVE: With you on the back? You must be joking!

I hope you haven't been breaking the speed limit, Constable?

- What do you think? - You'll have been showing off.

Oh, he'd have to go a lot faster to impress me.

You were holding on so tight I couldn't breathe!

Oh! Nice.

Ah, Gina. Seeing as Diane's here now,

why don't you go and put your feet up?

All right. I will, thanks.

Oscar, have you got a minute?

I'll hang on, shall I?

Yeah.

Do you believe Barbara Simner?

I'm not sure.

But after seeing Ken Simner with another woman,

it's made me think again.

Policing is about percentages, Steve.

You can't cover for every eventuality.

On the other hand,

if a copper of mine had a hunch,

I always told him... follow it up.

I've told you where I was.

In Whitby, having a meeting with your accountant. At two o'clock.

Yes.

Leaving here at twelve. You gave yourself plenty of time.

Yeah, well, it's Barbara's birthday coming up and erm...

I went in early to look for a present.

Is that after you visited the bookies at .?

Yes.

And before you had lunch at .?

Yes.

- Did anyone see you? - What?

Can anyone confirm your story?

I've just shown you a betting slip and a restaurant receipt.

What more do you want?

Les!

Les!

Lift this cable up for us, will you, while I shift her out.

ENGINE STARTS

We don't have to evacuate the village?

Not quite. In fact, nothing like that.

Well, go on. What did the boffins find out?

I'm very glad to say

that k*ller Punch Pest Control is completely harmless.

Harmless? I don't believe it.

What a relief.

And that's your opinion too, is it?

Well, apparently it's made entirely from liquefied lion dung.

Time and dated bookmaker's slip.

Dated restaurant receipt.

If you call my accountant, he'll confirm my meeting with him.

I'm sure that won't be necessary.

I didn't mind him coming round t'first time, but enough's enough.

My wife's health isn't what it should be, and this isn't helping.

Mr Simner.

When Crane gets in, tell him I want to see him.

- I'm here, Sarge. - Ah, good.

Perhaps you can tell me whose orders you're following.

I've just had Ken Simner in my office.

I thought I told you to drop that case?

Yes, Sarge. But then I saw him

with another woman. - Oh, did you?

It confirmed my feeling that things weren't right.

Much the same feeling I have about you.

We're not here to police what might happen.

If you want to play the sleuth, you do it in your own time.

Cos we're too busy!

Aren't we?

Oh... Yes, Sarge.

Yes, Sarge.

What the devil are you up to?

Oh. Morning, Mr Blaketon.

- It's an advertising board. - I can see that!

I'm going to put it up in Mrs Tompkins' garden.

Mr Vernon, he's let her have a couple of bottles,

so she's letting us put this up in return.

Hurry up, David!

We've got all these to shift yet.

Thanks.

Thank you.

So, now you've got me here, are you going to tell me?

We're undercover.

Who is?

Well... strictly speaking, just me. But you're my cover.

So, I'm your undercover cover?

Mm-hmm.

This is where Ken Simner said he came the day of Barbara's accident.

And they should... have a carbon copy of this here.

So what?

Well, the serial number gives a rough idea

of what time this was made out.

Good evening. Would you like to see the wine list?

- Yes. Thank you. - Excellent.

What's the matter?

That's the woman I saw with Ken Simner in the pub.

You didn't tell me she was pregnant.

Lion dung?!

Apparently.

But not any old kind of lion dung.

This stuff is the creme de la creme of animal droppings.

Morning picked for freshness.

Ripeness, more like.

Yeah, well, to the sensitive nose it does come a bit strong,

but that's its power.

All living things scarper when they get wind of the King of the Jungle.

Oh, here they come. The chairman and his poodle.

T'village isn't going to like what you're doing, Vernon.

On the contrary. The people round here are calling me

the patron saint of cabbages.

Don't waste your breath, Will. The time for talking is over.

Come on.

I've heard of singing for your supper, but this is ridiculous.

When you go undercover, you've got to be ready for anything..

Is that what you tell all the girls?

- WOMAN: Night! - There she is.

What exactly is the plan, Oscar?

All you've got to do is distract David.

- How? - Just think of something.

Keep him out of the house, and leave the rest to me.

Is this legal, Oscar?

Let's just call it justice.

- Oh, hello. - Hello, David.

We were just driving past. We saw someone run into your lane.

Oh. Who?

We thought it might be an intruder.

Yes.

He might have slipped round t'side. Should we look?

- I'll be with you in a minute, Di. - All right.

Can I have a word, Les?

You don't give up, you, do you?

- One for the road, Les? - No, mate, I'm going.

Mrs Simner told me about the incident with the electric fence.

What about it?

How had it been switched from battery to mains power?

Ken said Barbara must have mixed it up.

Reckons her pills send her doolally.

And you believed him?

Barbara Simner took an overdose a while back, didn't she?

So?

You do remember?

Of course I remember. She was in a right state.

And Ken was threatening to leave her for Julie Watson, wasn't he?

Never heard of her.

Well, he's seeing her again.

Copper or no copper,

you stir that up, and you'll answer to me.

She's pregnant.

What?

Julie Watson. She's pregnant.

Damn fool.

Ken's given us a false alibi for the day of the tractor incident.

You mean he wasn't in Whitby? If he was,

he wasn't doing what he told us.

Where's this leading?

I think you know.

I've said enough.

VERNON: David!

David, that smell is awful!

Oh, no...

Some of the bottles have broken inside the boxes.

Well, don't look at me!

COUGHS

Why would Ken Simner concoct an alibi if he had nothing to hide?

But the evidence is circumstantial. Even if you discredit his alibi,

you still can't place him at the scene.

I still think Barbara Simner is in real danger, Sarge.

All right. Let's go and talk to the girlfriend.

The monthly traffic figures, Bellamy?

Oh, yeah, Sarge?

I wanted them on my desk by this morning.

Oh, it's er... my fault, sarge.

I misfiled the reports, and Phil couldn't find them.

- Later today then, Bellamy. - Yes, Sarge.

Thanks for that, Alf.

I completely forgot.

- Do you want a cup of tea? - Oh, yes. Why not?

It's this wedding.

I can't concentrate on anything.

Oh, it's only natural.

You'd cover for same for me.

Yeah. We've had enough practice as well, haven't we?

How long has it been now?

Oh... Don't ask.

I've been stupid, haven't I?

Frequently.

No, I mean really stupid.

He's staring me right in the face.

Who is?

The obvious choice for best man.

Me?

The man who knows me better than anyone. Alf...

will you do it?

Are you sure?

I'm absolutely certain.

Oh... It'd give me great pleasure.

Put it there.

Thanks, Alf.

Here...

Try a change of water.

Is it smelling any better?

Not so you'd notice.

I've just hung the rug outside.

It's cleared the valley of livestock.

It's got into everything.

We're going to have to gut the whole place.

Why are they so important?

At the time they were issued

an incident occurred on the Simners' farm.

Mrs Simner was lucky to escape with her life.

Didn't Ken tell you?

He's using these as his alibi to prove that he wasn't there.

Did you supply them?

If you lie on his behalf, you'll be perverting the course of justice.

It can carry a prison sentence. Not a great start for your baby.

I assume Ken is the father?

Does Barbara know?

He's promised to tell her today.

He says everything'll be fixed today.

Today.

Let's go.

For heaven's sake, peel an onion! Anything's better than this.

Drink, anyone?

Do you think you two can drink up and push off?

Our money was good enough for you yesterday.

That's before the King of the Jungle left his mark on you.

The smell isn't only ruining my trade, it's puckering my paintwork!

If you're not doing owt, you could drive the tractor into t'barn.

All right.

And stay awake, eh?

TRACTOR STARTS UP

CAR HORN BLARES

Right, where to now? I mean, who'll have us?

Wherever I go, this stink goes with me.

All right, all right, David!

- It's like being back at school. - Eh?

I used to have to feed the pigs before going,

so people used to give me a wide berth.

Said I had a "higher gene" problem.

All this, David, is just sour grapes.

I don't care if it's sour grapes or lion muck. I'm finished with it!

It's the biggest money-spinner we've ever had!

What's the good of money, if no-one'll talk to you?

Your husband asked you to drive it inside?

- Yes. - And did he not tell you

about the cables?

No.

It's quite literally a deathtrap.

- Where is he now? - In the bottom barn.

Mr Simner. Could we have a...?

SHOTGUN BLAST Stay there!

Go on. Make a move. The next one's yours.

All right, Les.

Put the g*n away and leave this to us.

Why didn't you tell your wife about the live cable, Mr Simner?

- I did. - She says not.

Surprise me.

I believe her. And I think a court will, too.

You can't prove a thing.

We've been looking at your alibi for the day your wife was injured.

- So? - We've talked to Julie Watson.

What for? She knows nothing. You leave her out of this.

Not easy. When she helped to fabricate your alibi.

You really think Julie's going to testify against me in her condition?

The father of her baby?

Baby? She's going to have a baby?

You liar! Cheat...!

Steady!

Steady.

We now know you had the opportunity as well as the motive

to harm your wife. We think a jury will reach the same conclusion.

I'm saying nowt.

Fine. But I'm going to caution you anyway.

Ken Simner, I'm arresting you on suspicion of attempted m*rder.

You are not obliged to say anything unless you wish to do so,

but what you do say may be put into writing and given in evidence.

Well, I think we've given ourselves a fighting chance.

Credit to you, Oscar. The village looks a picture.

- Yes. - All right, Vernon?

Mustn't grumble.

That's not like you.

Well, let's just say I'm too busy to grumble.

- Not with pests, I hope? - No, no.

I've sent the stock back and given up the franchise.

But you know what they say, Oscar, when one door shuts, another opens.

Oh, aye. And what door is that?

The one marked colour, fun and novelty,

and completely odour-free.

I've just delivered two to No. . Now No. wants one.

Show 'em, David.

They're going like hot cakes, Oscar.

Buy four, get one free.

Give me strength.

Oscar... Hang on, I haven't given you the price yet.

Oscar!

What's the matter with him? Oscar!