06x10 - The Championship

[bunniefuu]

Heartbeat, why do you miss
when my baby kisses me?

Heartbeat, why does a
love kiss stay in my memory?

Heartbeat, why does a
love kiss stay in my memory?

La la la la, la la la
la, la la la la, la la la la

La la la la la, la la la la, la la la la la

What are you doing this for?
Get it up in the air, follow through

Look at the recent smoke, see what I mean?

Nick, we're a man
show I've never played

before, I'm not a club
member Oh yes you are

Mum sends her love How is she?

Oh much better, she's hoping to come
to the party tomorrow Good! Come on.

I'll do what you
like, take your hand

I've seen good times
in some other land

You are around, but my heart always pounds

Ventress tells me he's made
you a member of the team

You'd better not let us down,
otherwise you'll have me to deal with

and I can be more difficult than Blaketon

But he's coming to
dinner with my parents

tonight The match
will be over by Saturday

It had better be.

How's everything? Did you get the result?

Positive Oh I'm so happy
for you both Can I tell them?

Maggie?

Yes Jean's expecting another
baby Congratulations Oh it's lovely

Let's show Aidensfield we're not a rabble

Women and children first,
let's have a bit of discipline.

Hey, your friend Donald's medic's arrived

Err, medic! I see you lot are still
standing for you, you must know where

the body's buried Not you David,
you're not a baby, wait with the men

Stay with Dad, love.

♪Music♪

Mum, aren't you stopping?

Sorry love, I've got to do the refreshments

Well I'll see you in
the pub after the match

Yeah, fine Yeah I
mean for a proper chat

Fine Nicky, whatever a
proper chat is we'll have one

Well no sliding off and
no avoiding the issue Eh?

I know something's wrong Mum No

Yes, because every time I try and
talk to you, you change the subject

Look I've got to go, I can't leave
Jean Well I'll see you in the pub then

I thought you had to go and
see Jane Well not until later

Hey Nicholas, do you want me to
show you how to play this game or not?

Mum Oh dear Right
then, referees here, if

both teams are present
we can get cracking.

Right, that's nine in each team, plus
wives and kids and Mr Dead from the W

ays Down Blaketon So if we
do, what are you looking for?

Butter knife Left hand side,
I had a bit of a change round

So if we do five loaves, you've got
those pies haven't we, and some salad

I'll do that dear, I'll probably be quicker

Take that lot through
to the bar will you dear?

Don't forget the
parsley And then come

back and put the
biscuits out dear, ok?

Bar in love, where I put the cloth Yes
Ruby, no Ruby, anything you say Ruby

Sorry love I said I wonder when
me Uncle George will be back

Right, come on then, watch the
feet Blaketon Hey, hey, hey, feet

Referees are alright,
that's a coit A coit?

No we're near a
coit Come on No coit

You were The bar's over

What are you talking about? I might
have gone over after but I'll be behind

the line when I've chucked
it Definitely No coit Trust you

I'll be watching you like a hawk
That was a coit, alright I'll give you that

It was the first one wasn't it?

I don't know Well not the last Don't
worry I'll get inside Come on son Down

Ladies field nil No coit Come on
Jack, it's not like you Come on Nick

Get nearer than that, he's about,
he's about ten inches short Go on Nick

Could we have a bit
of quiet, the players

on the trick Beginners
luck What about that

How near do you want to be?

Alright then, that's one Down
That's gone good, off he goes

There, not bad, now let's
hope they win Clean one is it?

Yes Give me the other
end Blimey Gina, what

the hell do you think
you're playing at?

What?

Is to keep the flies off, not soak
the flipping sarnies Dear oh dear

Damp I said, not
dripping wet God blimey,

the things your mother
never taught you

So how long do you think you'll be
staying then Ruby, in Aidensfield I mean

Well, for as long as it
takes I suppose For what?

For me to think a few things over,
and don't ask me what, because I'm not

going to tell you Course I might
decide to stay permanent Great

I'll venture a show him
how it's done Hey, not bad

Go on Donald, show
us what you're made

of What are we doing
lads, let the man play

Just watch where you put your feet Smedley

I thumped you years ago Claude,
I'll thump you again now if necessary

This time it'll be just you and me,
and I'll be facing you, get on with it

Watch and learn
What did you miss?

Piece of cake This is crazy I couldn't
help it You shouldn't have come

I've been in touch for two weeks, I've
been mad with worry We can't talk now

I love you Last game Jack,
ahead Come on Bill, make it a certainty

You'll take the role That's
it, that was wonderful

What can you do when a bloke plays
like that, he couldn't flame him miss

I'm sure I've seen him before
somewhere But not at Hollingsby

You thinking what I'm thinking
Promise me you won't be late One drink

Dad's a stickler for
punctuality, that's all

I'm happy with your mum and
dad, I'm looking forward to it

I haven't told them
about Katie Why not?

Or Kate, I meant to but the
occasion never seemed to arise

I will, of course I will, see you at
eight Jo, Jo, Jo Keep them coming

Anything for you
darling I'm sure a winner

makes a man ever
so sexy I would think

Cheers I can't stand it
Maggie Patience Gina, Patience

Here we are lads, compliments to
the captain And on behalf of us all

On behalf of us all, I'd like to offer
a special word of thanks to Bill here

Who I think you'll all
agree surpassed himself

Kites final,
Hollingsby won, as is

probably obvious You
have a good time then

Aye, very peaceful Should have
stayed a bit longer by the looks of it

One can have a dream baby
Two can make that dream so real

One can talk about being in
love Two can say how it really feels

One can worship on a star Two
can make that wish come true, yeah

One can stand alone
in the dark Two can

make a light shine
through It takes two baby

It takes two baby Me
and you Everything's

in the car so I'll
take over, shall I?

Oh thanks Irene Have
you got all her stuff?

Nightie, Teddy, party dress
Talk to me about that party dress

She's already had it on three times
this afternoon I'll pick you up tomorrow

About five-ish You have a lovely
party, don't eat too much cake

I'll go and hurry Jack up Right You
wait with Auntie Eileen, can't you?

Right, ladies and gentlemen May I
have your attention please for a moment?

Thank you Well as
this is such a special

occasion I've got
a little story for you

Right Now there's
these two fellas,

right Meet up in a
pub, not unlike this one

First fella, he stood
at the bar And he's

got his head on one
side, like that, see

Thank you Bit of a bent neck
So, he says, hey, he says, er

He says, hey, he says, what's up with you?

You had an accident or what?

Fella says, no, he says, er No,
he says, I've always been like this

Ever since I were a little lad
So, first fella says, right, well er

You want to get that sorted She's
still here No, no, don't talk, please

He says, I've been
like this for years

Seen hundreds of
doctors See you, then

No accident, no
joke So, the other

fella says, right I'll
tell you what you do

Bent neck, it's all in the
mind All in the mind, he said

What you got to do
when you get home tonight

Before you go to
bed, last thing you do

You look in the mirror and
you say My neck is straight

Give it a month, your neck will
be straight He says, get away

But we needn't see each other
often No, it has to be a clean break

Just every four weeks,
just to talk It wouldn't work

Please, Annie, don't make it even
more difficult I can't do it to Jean

My neck is straight
Anyway, personally to me

You'll always be the girl for me, you
know that Wakes up the next morning

My neck is straight He goes
straight back round the pub

And has looked at the other fella
This has to be the last time It has to be

It has to be So we crack the
champagne out, pour it out

The fella who used
to have the bad

neck He grabs hold of
the glass and he says

Pleased to you,
mate I really owe you

one, cheers Worth
waiting for, wasn't it?

Not bad, eh?

Jean, where?

Jean, stop!

Jean!

What's happened?

Where's she gone?

Home, she felt a bit
poorly Oh dear It's

alright, she said to
follow on the coach

She'll be fine, Eileen It's just
sickness-like Oh, yes, yes, of course

OK, if you must know,
it's a bloke A bloke?

A bloke, yes Blimey,
Nick, I'm not that

old Don't laugh, his
name's Ferdinand

I've been seeing him for six months
I mean, what else is there to say?

Well, I don't know, Mum, you tell me
He wants to move into the flat Does he?

Yes, and that's a big step
for a little old widow lady

Which is why I came
away, to think it over

And now I've told
you, can I go, please?

Mum Look, I really do like
him and that, but he's, you know

No, I don't know, Mum, not unless
you tell me Well, he can be possessive

He's got a bit of a temper
Apart from that, he's lovely

Mum, what exactly are you trying to say?

Sometimes he sort of flares up He
forgets himself What, he hits you?

Mum Not all the time Only
when he's had a drop too much

And you're thinking about living with him?

I'm lonely, Nick And I'm
not getting any younger

It could be my last
chance of happiness

Happiness? I can't
believe what I'm hearing

You've got to get rid of him, Mum

You're a strong woman, you don't
need someone like that in your life

I suppose not, but I'm...

Do you want me to speak to him?
Come down to London with you?

No!

Tonight's the night, eh? Meeting the Barons

Look, I can do my own dirty
work, thank you very much

How many times do you want to tell her?

So what you're telling me is that
this man shouldn't have been playing

He's not a club
member Codswallop!

Excuse me, but he plays for Dale Cross

We just phoned to confirm
it, he's their champion player

Imported by Smedwick to fiddle
us out of the Cup Codswallop!

Come on, admit it

You've been caught
out by a couple of

lads who are a bit
sharper than you are

In which case they should
be disqualified That's right

In which case they've
not won the Cup,

we have All right,
all right, that's enough

Bill Ashby lives in
Hollinsby Now, you

ask anyone, he moved
in six months ago

All right, that's enough, Mr Smedwick
Right, Mr Ashby, tell me one thing

Are you, or are you not, still a
member of the Dale Cross Quites Club?

Aye, I am But he'll be joining us as
soon as we've had our committee meeting

You should have had it last
week then, shouldn't you mate?

Go on, Blaketon, he's
not a memory camp, is he?

That's a formality That's not a
formality, I'm afraid, Mr Smedwick

If this man is not yet a member of
your club, he shouldn't have played

Only yet, come on Aren't you a
lucky girl going on the big bus?

Are you sure this is still all right?

Of course it is, Karen's talked to
nothing else If Jean's feeling unwell

She was just feeling
a bit queasy, that's all

As a matter of fact, she's
expecting another baby Really?

She got the results back
this morning, didn't she, Jack?

Aye Well, congratulations,
that's wonderful Come on, Katie

All right, you be a
good girl There we go

See you tomorrow Bye Come on

Hey, where do you think you're going?

There's a bit of a do
on it there, clubhouse

I think I'm in with a chance

Nice to meet you,
d*ck Nick, Dad We've

heard so much about
you from Jo Red or white

I'll stick with beer,
thanks I'll get some

Well, this is very
pleasant Sit down, Nick

Jo tells me you've been playing
coits Yes Very much a local tradition

I believe so, yes Of course,
you're not local yourself

I believe Jo said you're
from London That's right

Graham's got a sister in
London, haven't you, Graham?

Highgate Oh, nice So what part
of London are you from, Nick?

Hackney Really?

Here you are Oh, thanks Well,
cheers everybody Cheers

That's Jean!

What's she doing? Stop there!

Jack!

I'll go and see if she's all right Come
on, love Come on, open the window.

I know what you must
be thinking Go to hell!

Right, lads, I have no glum faces on
my bus We've nowt to be ashamed of

We're lost on the
technicality Jim, get

that crate of brown
ale out from the back

Hey, come on, Jim.

Can one of you ladies come through,
please? I'm rushed off me feet Bye, Gina

Why don't you go?

Excuse me, but in case you hadn't
noticed, I'm knee-deep in sats here

Yeah, and I'm putting
plates away I'll go

Too many people in
this kitchen anyway

Well, it's not my fault if people
keep moving things around

and putting things in ridiculous
places I beg your pardon

I'm just sick of being bossed around
Well, I should go and help George, dear

I can finish off Good!

Why didn't you tell me she was pregnant?

Please, Annie, look at me

Look out, Dad!

I'm going to get help
You all right, mate?

Stay down, I'll help you.

Try not to move, eh?

Look after him I'll get you out You
stay calm You all right, lad? Eh?

You all right?

What about me, Dad?

Go get help, please Listen,
look after your mum, eh?

Be looking after your mum
I'll try the emergency door.

I'll get help, everybody.

You'll be all right
Stay calm, I'm going

to get help Keep an
eye on him, yeah?

Yeah, look after him
So really and truly

what it comes down
to is you're a good

old-fashioned village
Bobby That's right

I think that's wonderful

Absolutely. Start at the bottom and
work your way up. It's the best way

Yes, and he's
taking his sergeant's

exams later on this
year, aren't you, Nick?

Yeah, thinking about it You told
me you were definitely doing them

Yeah, well, I can't make up my
mind I mean, I love my job as it is

Why get promoted to something
I might not enjoy nearly so much?

Money, intellectual stimulation

How long have you
been a constable?

That's the first question
About eight years

He started off at the
Met And what made

you come to
Aidensfield, of all places?

We wanted to get out
of London Joe, really?

I think Nick can
speak for himself

Well, no, Joe's right.
We did want to get

out of London. That
was the main reason

More wine, Mum?

No, thank you, darling Yes

The reason we moved
to this particular area

was because my wife
was brought up here

You didn't tell me Nick
was married Didn't I?

She died months
ago of leukaemia Her

name was Kate Oh,
dear I'm so very sorry.

Have you phoned for help?

Hey!

Go and phone

I haven't got a phone
Find one! Quick!

Hey!

It's OK, everybody Somebody's
come for help

Delicious, darling
Mum, it's only fruit salad

Do you cook, Nick?
Not much, I suppose, being on your own

No, I have a go now and then.
I quite enjoy it

Not that Katie appreciates
my efforts very much

That custard is about all
she really likes, isn't it, Joe?

Yeah, custard, baked
beans and bread soldiers Yes

I'm terribly sorry,
but I thought you said

your wife was dead
Kate is my daughter

You've got a daughter, too?

How old is she?
months Great. Super age.

I'll get some coffee, shall I?

I'm the proud father of a
beautiful daughter, Mr Weston

That's something we
have in common, at least.

Come on, first. There's a break, boy.

Be careful there. Be careful.
That's it. Just wait there OK?

Everybody, I'll try and guide you through

You're safe. The
store's jammed. It won't

fall on you We'll get
you off, one by one

That's it. Come on.
Well done, mate. Well

done I don't care,
Donald Smedwick's face

I can't stand people who try to
fiddle ! You've got to dial !

What's happened?

It's gone down, blank.
You've got to get an ambulance

Don't worry, Mr Mould.
Take a deep breath and start again

The Hollandsby coach has
crashed on Skiply Moor Oh, no!

Hurry up.

Mum, I know you
don't approve, but

there's no need to
make it quite so obvious

He's a nice boy. I
just wish you'd told us

about all these
complications, that's all

What complications?

The fact that he's
been married. The fact

that he's got a child Mum?

Hello?

Right What?

There's been a coach crash. The Coits team

It's all right. Katie
and Eileen went

by car No, they were
both in the coach.

Hang on, everybody.
Emergency services are

on the way Any minute
now Over here, quick

Hold on, Jack Annie,
you've got to help

Annie Hold on, Jack
Not me, Annie

I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm sorry.

Katie? Katie!

Nick!

Katie?

Where's Katie?

She wasn't on the
coach She went by car.

Jim was parked on
Moor. They went with her

Well, what do we do now?

Better sit and wait till she
comes back, I suppose.

As evenings go, not exactly a
great success We did our best

But there wasn't a
lot in common No Why

on earth didn't she
tell us about his wife?

That's Joe for you She looked
most uneasy all evening Hmm

For me, there's nothing wrong
with him Oh, very pleasant, in fact

But as you say, not a lot in
common It's not serious, though, is it?

No I expect he's the
only eligible young

man in the place I
mean, Aidensfield's tiny

I suppose we can't very
well go home, can we?

Look a bit heartless I mean, in case
anything's happened to the child Hmm

Mrs Potts, I'll be with you next OK,
sir, you'll be fine Claude! Over here!

What? What do you want?

I need you to go and sit
with the driver Who, me?

Claude is trapped
underneath the steering wheel

Look, he's very cold, he needs keeping warm

Cover him with your coat or
something, and lots of reassurance

Can't you find somebody else?

Please!

I know, you know
who it is Claude!

It's a good job it's you I've
been sent to see if you're alright

I wasn't till your ugly mug showed up
Is there anything you'd like me to do?

Aye, go away No, no, she said
you're probably freezing cold

Would you like me to put my coat over you?

Oh, my dead body, I'm not
having that stinking thing near me

I'd do that if it were your attitude,
but I think when you... Wait What?

Can you see my lad anywhere?

He's up on the bank, he's alright
What about my wife, can you see her?

She's there, no, she's alright

Look, I know you're trapped,
but are you in any real pain?

There's only one pain
round here and I'm talking to it

I knew you wouldn't see me as a
Florence Nightingale

Watch yourself down this bump Try
the front of the bus

You got everything, George?

I hope so Thanks for
coming about, Katie

Nick insisted He knew
how worried you'd be

He's a good son,
Jo, he really is Come

on then, let's get
up there, shall we?

This is Dr Wilby, Sarge
Right, I'm the officer in charge

There's a man on the coach
who needs urgent attention

You'll be able to go and
see her in the hospital, David

Look, I'm sure everything will be
fine Right, darling Can I help, Ruby?

Yeah, can you help me do these, please?

Here I'm sorry What for?

In the pub, you know Oh, go on
Expect I was being a pain as usual, eh?

Here Good luck, Donald You behave
yourself with those pretty nurses, eh?

Thanks Shall I take over?

No, no, I'm OK

Dr Wilby's going to put up a drip to
make you more comfortable, Jack, OK?

Keep him conscious

We'll have you out there
in no time, Jack Jack Jack.

I've never seen a
road accident before,

Mr Blaketon I've
been driving years

Hey, I've got a tow rope on
the truck That'll soon pull it out

They're not trying to
pull it out, Mr Mould

They're trying to
stop it slipping Eh?

They're trying to stop it slipping
Sarge, over here.

Would you do something for me?

Yeah, of course Would
you go and see Jean?

Tell her what happened
I'd like it to come personal

As soon as we get you off to the
hospital Will you give her a message?

Yeah.

Mum, I'm sorry She'll
know what I mean

I'm sorry, you know
I'll make it up to her

Right Tell her tonight, it's
important Come on, you, wake up

You're not allowed to go
to sleep yet Come on Annie.

I'm loving you now Annie.

He's gonna be alright, Jack He's
bleeding more than ever Jack?

Jack?

He's gone There's nothing
we can do for him now

Both asleep?

Yeah How are you feeling?

Okay, thanks Sure We had a
silly tiff I'm a bit upset, that's all

Well, he'll be back in a minute

And I'm sure you'll
want to be on your

own to make it up
What is it they say?

Never let the sun go down on
your wrath I know Night, Eileen

I won't let it spoil
tomorrow Promise Night

I'll be right behind
you, don't you worry

I'll be right behind
you, don't you worry

I'll be right behind
you, don't you worry

I'll be right behind
you, don't you worry

I'll be right behind
you, don't you worry

I'll be right behind
you, don't you worry

I'll be right behind
you, don't you worry

I'll be right behind
you, don't you worry

I'll be right behind
you, don't you worry

I'll be right behind
you, don't you worry

I'll be right behind
you, don't you worry

I'll be right behind
you, don't you worry

I'll be right behind
you, don't you worry

I'll be right behind you, don't you worry.

I'll have to go and tell Jean Do
you want me to come with you?

No, no I'll see you back at the
house Well, you can have a look at her

But only if you promise not to wake her up.

Hey I'm afraid I've got some bad
news There's been an accident

The coach went off the road
up on Skipley Moor The coach?

Do you want to sit down a minute?

Is Jack alright?

Look, there's no easy way to say this.

I'm afraid he died before we could
get him to hospital I'm very sorry Jack

They did all they
could Let's go to him

Jean No, I'm sorry
I've got to be with him

Nick, what's happened?

The coach crashed on the way back
to Hollinsby Jack's been k*lled Jean, no

I'm alright Nick's going
to take me to the hospital

Choking down took Bob and her
twinkly Never gone so fast in all me life

About gone on two wheels In the
end it weren't fast enough, were it?

Not for poor Jack Abbott Stop
worrying Bertie, you did your best

Without you, goodness knows what
would have happened You're right Bernie

Don't you realise Bertie,
you're the hero of the hour Eh?

I said you... Let's go and have a
drink Let's go and have a drink Dave

Look Jean, I don't think
this is the right time to tell you

When I was sitting with Jack
he gave me a message for you

He asked me to tell you that he was
sorry Said you'd know what he meant

Look, let's get you home Jean
It wasn't him anymore, was it?

No He just... Wasn't
there He's gone.

But I feel I ought
to stay with him I

know But it's best
to go home Did he...

Say anything about her?

Was there a message for her as well?

I'm sorry It's all my fault.

If it hadn't have been
for me You wouldn't

have been on the
coach in the first place

I'm sorry.

Mate, that's what you
need A good night's

sleep And you young
David Ah, what now?

Is everything alright?

Yes, mum What
about this little girl?

We waited and waited
But in the end we

simply had to come
and find out She's fine

Look, we're shattered Perhaps
you could just run me home, okay?

Come on Fiona I'll just get my jacket
I'm Nick's mum, by the way Hello honey

I wondered if anyone had
told you about Jack Yes.

I was with him when he died
At the very end he said he...

Donald's my husband,
Mr Rowan Not Jack

Anything that's to be said about Jack
needs to be said to his wife Not me

Now then, Mr Smavik
According to you

You only had one
pint of beer last night

Now I find that very hard to believe
I'm not in the habit of lying Pardon me

You on the coach?

You didn't seem drunk,
Sarge Well I wouldn't, would I?

Because I don't drink and
drive How many more times?

Mr Smavik There's
just been a very serious

road accident In which
one man was k*lled

And two others seriously
injured Right And I'm one of them

You've no right to come here
pestering me this day, I'm in

Except that you were
the driver of the vehicle

And that means you
can be charged with

dangerous driving Even
manslaughter I told you

I swerved to avoid
a sheep It were an

accident, pure and simple
Did you see a sheep?

Oh no, Sarge I wasn't really
looking, I was... You were what?

Talking to a young lady, Sarge I'll be
back, Mr Smavik You can count on that

What are you doing here, Greengrass?

Don't you start I don't want to be
here, it's that Bernie Scripps idea

He feels guilty He
thinks it's our fault

that Smavik crashed
that flaming coach

And of course he can't
come until it's down

to muggins First bed
on the left, Claude

You deserve each
other I hate Donald

What a chance to get my own back
for the thumping you gave me Nurse!

Looks as if Gina's made up the
quarrel Nice of her to give her flowers

Mind you, it never would have worked
Her and your mum doing the bar together

Gina's got too used to
doing things her own way Nick

You've got to stop thinking about it
It's over and done with I know, I know

This sort of thing lives with
you afterwards, doesn't it?

I mean, sitting with a dying
man and having to tell his wife.

I'm just not very
good at it It'd be

difficult for anyone
Come here Bye bye, Joe

Keep your eye on that
boy of mine for me, yeah?

So, Mum, what are you going to
do when you get back to London?

Give Ferdinand the
boot Yeah, and ring me

and tell me you've
done it, thanks, Bernie

Blimey, you don't trust
me one little bit, do you?

I don't when you're made
unhappy, that's all, Mum

A man like that ain't worth bothering with

Take an advice from me own son,
Bernie, about me love life, I ask you

He must be old age
Bye bye, darling Yeah,

ta-ta, Mum Thanks
for a lovely time Bye

She's lovely Wish
my mum was like that.

Don't be silly I do
She's so nice and kind

and easy and my
mum's... Well, you met her

What a fiasco that was It
wasn't too bad It was, it was awful

I wish I'd told them about you
beforehand It was just so embarrassing

The meal was nice, no?

I don't care about the meal I don't
even remember eating it I tell you what

Ten years from now we'll be
laughing about this I doubt it

Did you say ten years from now?

What, if we still know each other?

Yeah, if Come here.

Heartbeat, why do you miss
when my baby kisses me?

Heartbeat, why does a
love kiss stay in my memory?