01x07 - The Big Bad Fish Man

[bunniefuu]

What the hell are we

promoting here, Jack?

When you've had the belt

as long as I have,

people gonna att*ck you from all angles,

which is why the state fair is gonna be

so darn expl*sive.

[ACE] Previously on Heels

He cut a promo in our ring

like he was a g*dd*mn plant.

I've decided to challenge Jack

and Ace in a three-way ladder match.

[STACI] I don't like that man.

I don't like what he brings out

in me or you or anyone.

[JACK] You just want us to win.

I just want us to stop having

the same f*cking conversation.

Dude, you should be a star.

And right now, you aren't one.

[JACK] If you're gonna smoke,

can you do it in the back, please?

We got fans in there buying jewelry.

I was thinking about quitting anyway.

I just feel like I don't

have a place right now.

Whose fault is that?

You decided you didn't like

what was written,

so you decided to change it.

You lit the match. Don't be pretending

you don't know how fire works,

'cause you do.

[THOMAS] Why did he do it?

[JACK] His spirit got broken.

How did his spirit get broken?

[d*ck] Your father, Tom,

he was one tough sumbitch, Jack.

Always had to have things his way.

Come clean with me, Jack.

You got some of your old man's anger?

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]

["ROLL WITH THE CHANGES"

PLAYING OVER RADIO]

♪

Oh, man, this is a great song.

Underrated guitar solo.

Saw these guys in '78.

[REO SPEEDWAGON]

Woman, I am willing ♪

You know what?

Why don't you let me drive

the rest of the way?

Why don't you just sit back and relax?

If you drive a little faster, I will.

Staci's got us saving for a vacation.

I'm not risking a speeding ticket.

Then let me get one.

I ain't afraid of my wife.

What's up your ass?

Doctor just gave you

a clean bill of health.

Well, I didn't need to go

all the g*dd*mn way to Atlanta

to get my heart checked.

If I croak, I croak.

I don't think your grandson

would see it that way,

so just try and put

a smile on your face.

They told you to go see a specialist.

Specialist said that your ticker's good.

Yeah, well, my ticker's gonna blow

if I'm late for this Eddie Earl dinner.

You're not gonna be late

for the Eddie Earl dinner.

And I already went by his place

yesterday and teed you up.

The f*ck for?

Look, I can manage my own sponsors.

I need to plant the seed

that we're gonna need money

to fix up the Dome.

If I need help planting f*cking seeds,

I'll let you know.

Pull over. I gotta take piss.

Oh, come on, Dad.

There's-there's an exit in a few miles.

I ain't too good

for the side of the road, boy.

No son of mine better be either.

[TOM] Now, your mom tells me

you've been quite the farmer boy lately.

[JACK] Don't know what that means.

[TOM] Planting other seeds.

Planting seeds in your

brother's head about wrestling.

Well, we were just bullshitting.

[TOM] You don't bullshit, Jack.

You're just like me.

You're always operating.

Don't wind Ace up and get him

off track, all right?

I-I hey, I think it's good

that Ace is taking an interest

in the family business.

He's got a football scholarship!

It's to a D2 school.

Tony Romo came outta D2!

Ace ain't no Tony Romo.

Hey, you don't know who Ace is gonna be,

- all right?

- Well, okay, here's what

here's what I know right now.

He barely goes to class,

doesn't know the plays,

so he's flying by the seat of his pants

on the team and in life.

And despite being freakishly gifted,

he's not very coachable.

But you think you can manage him, huh?

[JACK] I think the DWL needs him.

Hey, Dad, we need him.

We need the young,

good-looking, athletic hero

to come after King Spade's throne, Dad.

Look, I already started

writing a story

Don't make me keep f*cking

telling you, all right?

The DWL is what you and me do.

Ace has a different destiny

away from here.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

Well, then, Dad, Dad,

we need a better plan

than choking down spaghetti

with Eddie Earl.

The only footage that we have online

is from people's cell phones

in the Dome.

All the guys from your generation

are-are dropping like flies.

We haven't sold out in five years.

I mean, we're one step away

from running the show

in the f*cking parking lot at a Kmart.

Ebbs and flows, Jack.

That's how it goes, all right?

- Ebb's here. Flow is soon to come.

- Well, then guess what.

Wherever the flow's f*cking flowing to,

it needs to start flowing

towards us, or we're done.

And you wanna drag your brother

down into this f*cking

homemade quagmire, huh?

I I wanna help you

save what you spent your life building

so that then you and me,

we can make it thrive.

Well, I tell ya what.

You pin me, and you can have it.

[SIGHS] Let's get back on the road.

- [GRUNTS]

- No.

You put me on the f*cking ground

for a three-count,

and I'll sign over the DWL

and the Dome to you

free and clear.

You can run it the way you want to,

find out if your way is the better way,

which I f*cking doubt.

Oh, ha!

Is Jack Spade afraid of his pops?

[JACK] You know, I know

every one of your moves

but in the real world,

people don't solve

their sh*t by fighting.

Shut the f*ck up

with that modern-man horseshit

and f*cking wrestle me.

- Come on, pussyboy.

- Hey.

- f*cking wrestle me!

- Hey!

- [TOM] Huh?

- [JACK GRUNTING]

Come on!

[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS]

Dad no!

Come on.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

You don't come for my sh*t, boy.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

♪

[MELLOW ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

♪

[SINGER] I'm not waiting for ♪

The answer ♪

♪

And I will ♪

Walk in the shore ♪

To find you ♪

To find ♪

The peace that's your own ♪

Where you come from ♪

All that you want ♪

♪

One that's your own ♪

Place to call home ♪

Won't be ♪

Granted ♪

What is fair in love ♪

Is fair in w*r ♪

♪

What is fair in love ♪

Is fair in w*r ♪

One ♪

To one ♪

What's love ♪

In w*r? ♪

♪

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

♪

[PAUL] Wild Bill just posted

he's definitely on the DWL roster.

Well, I guess Wild Bill's

my enemy now too, which is sad,

because he was pretty funny

back in the day.

All I remember is, his valets

were so f*cking hot.

- Mm.

- Bunny Boopie?

- Bunny Bombshell.

- Bunny Bombshell.

The second they gained weight,

they got replaced.

Yeah, until they reappeared

spread-eagle and naked

in Penthouse magazine.

That's the thing, guys.

Wrestling has treated women

terribly for decades.

We at Dystopia, we're gonna

be beacons for a new hope.

Mm. How did Wild Bill fall so far?

Lotta bad decisions, obviously.

- [LAUGHTER]

- [THE HOLE] Look, boss.

This is real. DWL's got heat,

and ticket sales are up

since Wild Bill signed.

Look at f*cking StubHub over here.

How do you know ticket sales are up?

I tried to get tickets up close

so I could heckle the sh*t out of them.

The closest I can get was row 40.

[PAUL] They're gonna b*mb.

State fair's next week,

and they're still doing f*cking tryouts.

They're a joke.

Nah. Jack Spade's

a resilient f*ck, Paul.

And Wild Bill's got

a lot of connections.

This fair pops, Jack wins.

I gotta upgrade my marketing efforts

and finish this fucker off.

♪

["CALIFORNIA SUN" PLAYING]

♪

[BLACK RIVER DELTA] I keep a-running ♪

And I'm coming up to ya ♪

♪

I feel the rhythm while

I'm riding next to ya ♪

♪

Ah, you got me shivering

like a child now ♪

♪

You keep on burning out my heart ♪

Just like a fire now ♪

♪

We got these big wheels

turning it all around ♪

♪

Like a wildfire burning it

to the ground ♪

♪

Down Highway One

in the California sunlight ♪

♪

I'm coming for you ♪

Oh, I'm coming for you ♪

You ♪

♪

Sorry to show up unannounced.

I've been trying to talk to you, but

I-I just I keep losing my nerve.

So I drove over here to, uh

to give you this.

[SIGHS]

I know I really, really messed up

by going off script and all that

all that then happened.

[EXHALES HEAVILY]

I'm just really ashamed of myself

and my part of that night

and my choices.

And I really wanted to apologize to you

at the baptism, but

I just I got stuck.

[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS]

You gave me a chance, and I blew it.

I wrote all this down, uh,

in the letter

just a-about how sorry I am

but, uh, also

my gratitude.

I may not deserve it,

but if you give me another chance,

I promise I'm never gonna

let you down again.

I know I could make an impact

at the state fair.

And I have no idea if

Tricia is still Ace's valet

or how you would even use me.

But I just know that I will show up,

and I'm gonna work my ass off

and prove to you that my regret is real

and that I value this league

so much and all of the people.

♪

Thank you for letting me know.

[CRYSTAL SIGHS]

[DOOR SQUEAKS OPEN, SLAMS]

I'm sorry, barging in here like this.

Hey, Crystal, you didn't barge.

- [CRYSTAL SIGHS]

- You don't have to apologize.

[ROOSTER CROWS]

I-it's your life. It's important.

You're a good person.

I'm not so sure that I am.

Well, I may not know you

that well, but

I do know that anyone

who can express contrition

in the way that you did

is a good person.

Thank you, Staci [SNIFFLES]

for, um, the coffee

and for saying that.

They're printed on cardstock, man.

That's expensive sh*t.

Gully made my pecs look jacked.

Gully got a crush on you, D.

- Psh!

- Looks like we're all invited

to this party at Gully's mansion.

We should go cr*ck some skulls, man.

- Yeah.

- Nah, don't wanna mess

with Rooster's first match.

- Let it be.

- Psh.

How'd Gully get so rich?

Family money from up north.

Built on that by coming down South,

selling fishing and hunting sh*t.

Hoo, I wish I came from money, man.

Nah, Bobby. The less people help you,

the hungrier you are.

I grew up with nothing.

Made me better, stronger.

I mean, who cared about me

when I was on food stamps?

The government clearly did.

Government didn't do sh*t for me.

Who you think bankrolls food stamps?

- The banks.

- f*ck no.

Food stamps come from taxes, son.

Government-levied taxes

paid for government-fed,

government-loved, government-grown

cute little baby Diego.

Gonna have to rethink my biography.

[LAUGHTER]

Who prints a flyer on cardstock?

Rich m*therf*cker.

Rich m*therf*cker with a crush on me.

Trying to poach you, Diego.

Ways back, before Gully and Dystopia,

there was a little upstart promotion.

They got a couple of our guys.

Remember that, 'Poc?

Oh, yeah. CRAWDAD.

f*cking CRAWDAD.

It's a acronym

for Crazy Rassling Assholes

Wrestling Day And

Dawn and Dusk,

which is like day and night,

except dusk is right in between

day and night, so not exactly.

Never failed: dudes would leave us,

go wrestle for a few dozen meth heads,

come crawling back to Duffy

a few months later.

Back to the family.

To the DWL 'cause, fellas,

you know and I know

if you're standing here right now,

it's not for the money,

'cause I can't pay you

any f*cking money.

I'd pay you if I could pay you.

And I really do hope that one day,

I will be able to pay you for the money,

but if you are here right now,

it's 'cause once a week,

you get to get in that ring

for a few minutes

and you get to feel like a god.

You get to walk into the Duffy Dome,

and you don't have a job

and you don't have a boss

and you don't have a wife up your ass.

I would like a wife up my ass

- or anywhere near my body.

- [LAUGHTER]

- I'm looking for one, Diego.

- There we go, Bobby.

Diego. Look, here, the only

person that you answer to

is the crowd.

We got the best crowd, fellas.

And after the state fair,

we're gonna have the biggest.

So I say to Charlie Gully

and his FWD cardstock

the same thing that King Spade

would say to CRAWDAD.

Who gives a flying f*ck?

[BOBBY, LAUGHING] Yeah.

Hey, Jack.

Wild Bill's inside training.

Oh, let's go and amuse ourselves.

Damn, they even got nice-ass glue.

- [DEBBIE] You okay, Boss?

- [WILLIE] I'm great.

Just Bill being back

I'm great, Debbie.

[GRUNTS]

[JACK] Don't have to pretend

that you're training

just to kiss my ass.

[WILD BILL] I don't need to train

to wrestle you two sh*t bricks,

but I do wanna limber up

before our trip to Florida

to b*at Charlie Gully's ass.

Not gonna happen.

Son of a bitch desecrated your church.

You can't let that sh*t stand.

But I shall, because I need to focus

on the biggest main event

in the history of the league.

Now, y'all know me.

Normally, I'd hole myself up,

write the entire main event,

and piss Staci off.

Piss me off.

Piss Willie off.

- Piss me off.

- [JACK] Piss everyone off.

Thank you.

That's not what I wanna do this time.

This time, I would like to have

a creative discussion

about the main event.

Then I'll make the final call.

Here's an idea to kick

off your discussion.

I should win. End of discussion.

Who could have predicted

that you'd have that perspective?

Says the guy who kept

the belt for himself

by deep-dicking me six ways from Sunday.

[WILLIE] Can we please scour the Earth

and find a new metaphor for betrayal?

I agree, Willie.

I've always considered deep-dicking

to be a reward of sorts, a gift,

something desired with anticipation,

longed for, if I may

stretch the metaphor.

[JACK] Ace, you're right.

I've held the belt long enough.

Yeah. Sure.

You're seriously gonna give it up?

Somebody else's turn.

Just a matter of who.

[WILD BILL] Look, I could give a f*ck.

I worn hundreds of belts.

This ain't about pride,

but y'all know what's what.

You want the biggest pop

on the biggest nights,

you put it on the biggest star.

C'est moi.

- [ACE] Bullshit.

- [WILD BILL] Excuse me?

Bullshit, man.

The whole point of this thing

is making new fans.

Everybody's seen Bill wrestle

a thousand times.

Bill winning's the same old

f*cking story, emphasis on old.

I mean, sh*t, the guy's speaking French,

which is a f*cking dead language.

You should try it

in the brothels of Paris.

It's very much alive there.

[ACE] Jack, the tickets we've sold

I've sold.

are getting people

to follow the posts

and previews and recaps.

They're getting invested.

You're welcome.

And if Bill wins, yeah, they may cheer.

Then they'll never think about us again.

But if the kid pulls off an upset

I don't know, that feels like something

you maybe wanna come back for.

[WILD BILL] I gave you a gift, Jack,

the gift of my ass.

And you don't look

a gift ass in the mouth,

'cause that mouth is my assh*le.

Jesus Christ. Willie?

Flip a coin.

f*ck that. It's my turn.

[WILD BILL] Last time it was your turn,

you cried like a little bitch.

Shut your f*cking mouth, Bill.

[JACK] Hey, hey,

two of you, knock it off.

[TENSE MUSIC PLAYS]

God damn it.

You let me know when you make

the right decision, Jack.

♪

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]

-

[SIGHS]

Is he almost done?

Chill. He's thirsty.

So am I.

Get f*cked, third grader.

[HALL PASS CLATTERS]

Say that again, I'm gonna

punch you in the face.

I said get f*cked.

[GRUNTS]

[SCANNER BEEPING]

[HOWARD] Hardest worker I got.

Hey, Staci, the Earls here,

they're looking for you.

[STACI] Oh, hi, Annie. Hey, Eddie.

Hey. Sorry to bother you at work.

Howard, you stay right here. Eddie.

I-I was golfing with Mickey Holloway,

and, uh, I was going

on and on about you.

[ANNIE] He showed Mickey

the video that I took of you

singing at the baptism

- Mm-hmm.

- and Mickey was just

slack-jawed.

He was just playing it over and over

and just welling up and crying

real tears, and it was

Mickey's a softie.

I-I mean, just a bighearted

pastry bag of a man.

But he wants you to sing

the national anthem

at the Georgia State Rodeo Championship.

- What?

- [ANNIE] Yes.

He runs the whole rodeo,

and he wants you to sing

the national anthem.

Staci, that rodeo's on television.

I don't-I don't know what to say.

[ALL] Say yes.

Well, yes, of course. Yes!

Whoo!

Well, I guess this'll be my first rodeo.

- [LAUGHTER]

- Isn't she funny?

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

Oh, I'm so sorry.

This is Thomas' school.

Give me one second.

- [ANNIE] All right. Okay.

- [STACI] Hello.

[ROOSTER] It's a Friday

afternoon in north Florida,

and it is popping, y'all.

I mean, this m*therf*cker

got peacocks walking around,

trying to out-bird the Rooster.

Come on, look. Check this sh*t out.

Check this sh*t out. Come on, bro. Hey.

Hey, peacock.

[LAUGHS]

North Florida, baby. Let's go.

[DRAMATIC GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS]

♪

[JACK] You got suspended for a week.

You can't hit people out of anger.

Dad hit Uncle Ace at the hospital.

Uncle Ace broke Bobby's leg.

But that's no excuse for Daddy.

Uncle Ace deserved it. He is bad.

No, he's not bad. He's just

He's bad and he cries

and people throw Kleenex

at him and hate him.

That's all pretend.

No, if it was pretend,

people wouldn't be sad

and mad, hurting each other.

It's okay to hurt someone

so they'll know you're mad

because of what they did.

If that is truly what you think,

then we have failed you as parents.

Hey, Mister, get back here.

I've gotta go number two.

[JACK] Hurry up.

You hit Ace at the hospital?

Ace broke Bobby's leg

and I had to get through to him.

Well, now your son's

getting through the same way.

[JACK] No, he's going after

bullies at school

who are a year older.

[STACI] Right, so

you think this is cool.

I-I got in plenty of fights

when I was a kid.

Because you needed attention.

Because I went to school with assholes.

We're not raising our son

to b*at people up.

We have lost the thread here, Jack.

He thinks we're lying

about wrestling being fake.

- That's reverse Santa Claus.

- [HUFFS]

Look, I get why he thinks that.

Everyone at the DWL's

not acting like it's pretend.

Everyone at the DWL

is acting like they care

a whole lot about what happens

and who it gets to happen to.

Isn't that the point?

Not if it's ruining

real-life relationships.

Thomas worshipped Ace.

He's upside down

ever since you turned him heel.

Crowd prefers him that way.

Crowd is a bunch

of terrible people too

[SCOFFS] throwing Kleenex,

mocking him.

You know, somebody went out there,

bought Kleenex, passed 'em all out.

I don't understand people going

out of their way to be cruel.

The f*cking appetite for unkindness

is f*cking disturbing.

Crowd's just playing pretend too.

Shows that they're invested.

Invested in being cruel?

It's not a great environment

for kids, Jack.

It's life, Staci.

It's just good and evil.

Ace wasn't pretending to be sad.

I think we both know that.

Thomas senses it too.

I don't know how much longer

Ace'll put up with it.

You okay, honey?

[THOMAS] Yes.

You need help in there?

[THOMAS] Mom, I'm eight years old!

[JACK LAUGHS]

Oh, hey, I forgot to tell you my news.

[JACK] What's up?

Who do you know who's been asked

to sing the national anthem

at the Georgia State

Rodeo Championships?

Hey! How'd that happen?

Eddie's friend saw a video

of me singing at church.

Hey, we ought to pop open

that nice bottle of wine

I got for my birthday.

- No, that's the good stuff.

- Well, we open the good stuff

when we got good news.

I'm so proud of you.

Thank you.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING OVER RADIO]

♪

[SINGER] Hey, hey ♪

Won't you get yourself my way ♪

Yeah ♪

[SIGHS]

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

[BOBBY] Crystal, you're gonna kick ass.

Come on.

I'm nervous.

Yeah, 'cause you care.

But I mean, you got God on your side.

You got me on your side.

You got all of us.

Just get in here and kick ass.

Thanks, Bobby. You're the best.

All right, we'll see you

in a minute. Bye.

Bobby, when you gon' let her know

that you like her, like her?

Oh, when the time is right, man.

[APOCALYPSE] Don't wait too long.

Women like her don't stay available.

Drop your nuts and speak up.

- [DEBBIE] Hello.

- [THE DAD] Hi.

[DEBBIE] What's your gimmick?

- [THE DAD] I'm The Dad.

- The Dad?

Yeah, just your average dad

with a passion

for grilling, drinking

beer, and kicking ass.

Sign here in case you die.

- Thank you.

- 'Sup, Crystal?

'Sup, Diego? Debbie?

Oh, uh, hi, Crystal.

Uh, between me and Diego,

we're covered with all

the help we need today.

I'm here to try out as a wrestler.

Did you tell anyone?

Well, this is an open tryout, right?

It is. Sign here.

In case I die?

In case you die.

[WILLIE] All right, men.

Time to get started.

[DEBBIE CLEARS THROAT] Willie.

Crystal Tyler wants to wrestle.

[DIEGO] All right, let's go, boys.

Hit the ropes.

["WAKE UP!" PLAYING]

[DUCKWORTH] Ooh, ooh ♪

♪

Yeah ♪

♪

I can see you're a dreamer ♪

I can see you're out there sleeping ♪

Little sunshine dreamer ♪

In the fields

the wolves are creeping ♪

You don't know there's creatures ♪

Out to take your

sad little spotlight ♪

I hope that it's your season ♪

I hope the rain

don't fall 'til midnight ♪

Right now you're probably wondering ♪

What's happening

on your television screen ♪

Please don't be alarmed ♪

Everything is all right ♪

- Wake up ♪

- Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

- Wake up ♪

- Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

- Wake up ♪

- Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

- Wake up ♪

- Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

Oh, this is your wake-up call ♪

Dystopia!

[ROARS]

[CROWD WHOOPING, CHEERING]

This is a courtesy warning ♪

Know that the wolves are swarming ♪

And if it rains tonight ♪

[LAUGHS] Ace of Spades.

I didn't wanna believe it, but, uh,

he said you'd show up.

That shrewd m*therf*cker. [LAUGHS]

[ACE] Who is?

I assume the guy you came to talk to,

'cause I assume

you didn't come to talk to me.

I didn't come to talk at all.

Well, whatever you came to do, uh,

you can do when he lands,

'cause that's him.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

Hey, m*therf*ckers!

I'm Nozomi. I like your hairstyle.

[RUN THE JEWELS] Back at it

like a cr*ck addict ♪

Mr. Black Magic cr*ck a bitch back ♪

Chiropractic, craftmatic ♪

Big daddy smokin' big Cali

in a black alley ♪

In a black Grand Natty ♪

- Oh, yeah!

- [CROWD WHOOPING, CHEERING]

[LAUGHS]

[CROWD ROARING]

Gully's a little different

than your brother, huh?

Hey there, Ice Man.

You here to tell me I'm dangerous?

Nah, I came to kick your ass.

[CROWD] Ooh!

You mess with the DWL,

you mess with my family.

Take a look, folks.

Feast your eyes

on the embodiment of gallantry.

The what?

You drove all the way here

to defend your family's honor,

to be a white knight,

do what your cowardly

big brother could not do:

put the big, bad fish man in his place.

I'm not a f*cking knight.

Well, that's certainly

how you present

bold, fearless, duty-bound.

I'm just saying it's worth mentioning

before you kick my ass.

Why don't you stay?

Drink some of my beer.

Smoke some of my weed.

Let's talk about Ace Spade, the hero.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]

♪

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[CROWD CHANTING]

Gully is God. Gully is God.

I didn't come up with it,

but it's kinda nice.

[CROWD CHANTING] Gully is God.

Gully is God.

Gully is God.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

Come on.

[THE DAD ROARS]

[WILD BILL] Y'all better

look the other way.

I ain't signing jockstraps

or jill straps.

[CHUCKLES] That was a good one.

It was stupid.

[THE DAD] Uh, ready.

Ready, huh? Well, let's see it, then.

[WILLIE] Hey, Pippi Longstocking.

I'm not screwing around.

Nor am I.

[MAN] Come on, k*ller. Get him!

Lock it up, youth pastor.

- My gimmick's actually The Dad.

- Shut your mouth.

Your gimmick is to make me look good

so I can stick a woman you love

who I imagine you call The Mom.

Now, come on.

Loosen up.

Christ.

Get out. Go sip some microbrews.

Kind of a shame I can't

wrestle every match.

[CRYSTAL] Come on.

Ho-ho-ho.

There you go, girlie.

You hear the crowd?

I hear 'em.

Hmm.

[TENSE MUSIC PLAYS]

♪

[SNAPS FINGERS]

Aah!

- [PANTING]

- That's good sh*t.

Slam me.

I don't think I can.

Then get the f*ck out of my ring.

♪

Ooh!

That's enough. Got what I need.

Why don't we have women wrestlers?

[WILLIE SIGHS]

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYS]

Way to go, dude.

Thanks.

♪

[JACK] Sorry, I got delayed.

My little guy b*at the sh*t

out of a bully at school,

but he got suspended for a week

because right now, there's

a zero-tolerance policy.

- How'd it go?

- Not great.

[JACK] Wasn't anybody any good?

One guy, The Dad. It's a fun gimmick.

The Dad. Well, he's hired,

'cause Rooster's gone,

Big Jim's retired,

Bobby Pin's injured, and we need bodies.

Willie, there had to be

somebody else that was good.

Crystal Tyler tried out,

and honestly, Jack,

she's pretty f*cking good.

How many fingers of Maker's Mark

did you put in your mug today?

I know she's small,

but she is acrobatic as hell.

And what she's really got is just it.

You just wanna watch her.

[JACK] I don't wanna watch a valet.

She can be more than that.

Sure, yeah, she could go off script

and have Bobby Pin's legs

snapped in two.

Did you forget?

I remember it well.

I remember it was Ace

who did the actual snapping.

Oh, okay, so you gotta

make a choice right now

between Crystal and Ace,

and you're saying

that you choose Crystal,

'cause that's the choice.

They cannot be together anymore, Willie.

It's not safe.

The fans like her just as much as Ace.

Bullshit!

You wanna put her in the main event

with me, Ace, and Bill?

I do.

She's five-foot-nothing.

Five-three. Who gives a f*ck? It's fake.

Well, she can't pick me up.

Can she pick up Ace?

Can she pick up Bill?

She doesn't have to pick anyone up.

Oh, you think Bob Backlund

could've really b*at up Jimmy Snuka?

You write the scripts. Have him lean in

like Andre did for Hulk,

for f*ck's sake.

And write for the times.

I mean, why do you think

the Real Housewives are so popular, huh?

Women can be terrible to other women.

So let's give them the opportunity

to be terrible to each other

in the DWL ring.

It's not about what she is.

It's about who she is, and who she is

is the girl who did a number

on my little brother.

I see.

I can't put her anywhere near Ace

before the biggest match of his life

and the biggest match of mine.

Well, he sure is lucky

to have his big brother

looking out for him.

Wish you were as concerned

about how Bill makes me feel.

I'm not concerned about you,

because you're not emotionally immature

and you recognize

that Bill represents us

selling out the state fair.

He's a gift of fate.

Fate can twist.

Everybody else sucked.

- [DOOR SLAMS]

- [SIGHS]

You want a cigar?

I didn't come here

to smoke cigars or break bread

or play f*cking pattycake.

[GULLY LAUGHS] First off, you

said nothing about pattycake.

Secondly, calm down.

I already sent a crew of guys

up there to clean this sh*t up

and restore your façade

to its former f*cking

rail yard brick elegance.

It's a prank.

Don't tell me you ain't never

toilet-papered somebody's house.

It's a sign of respect,

and it got you here

so I could show you my world.

I know all about you.

No, you don't. My world is about F-U-N.

I know how to spell "fun".

You interrupted. F-U-N-C-T-I-O-N-A-L.

The world you are witnessing

is functional.

People get along. Yeah, it's fun.

It's also the opposite

of life at the DWL,

which appears to be one

of those young adult dramas

my daughter spends half

her f*cking life watching.

Hey, I heard that.

Dad, can I take the Lambo?

- How many drinks you had?

- Two.

Wait an hour. Drive slow.

- Uh, Lucy, this is Ace Spade.

- [LUCY] I know.

My dad shows us videos

of your matches all the time.

- You're really talented.

- Uh, thank you.

All right. Bye, honey.

- Make good decisions.

- I'll try.

- [GULLY SHOUTING] Hey!

- [LUCY] Joking.

Daughters, they're the best.

As I was saying, my world is not filled

with intrigue and resentment.

I try to foster a world

where dreams can come true.

That's why we're k*lling it.

We're selling it out.

We got great content,

great matches.

That's why streaming companies

are sniffing around us right now.

You gotta join us, become famous,

fulfill your destiny.

You're nervous, man.

We got better athletes,

better story lines.

Our venue would look better

on TV than yours.

The last time I was nervous was never.

[LAUGHS] Dude, we're k*lling it!

The state fair sold out

because of me, Jack,

Wild Bill, Ricky Rabies.

Two old farts and two guys

who hate each other.

Can't wait.

You finally winning

the belt at the fair?

You gonna stay heel?

I'm better as a heel.

As far as the belt, we're still

finalizing the story.

It's wrestling, not Shakespeare.

Yeah, but you can't just

flip-flop on characters, man.

Dude, for f*ck's sake, man,

people who come out to watch large men

b*at each other,

they're not intellectuals.

They're not smart like you and me.

Ace, sit down. Seriously.

Let me just talk real talk

for five minutes.

You're pissing away your prime.

Come wrestle with my promotion

playing the kind of character

you are in real life

strong, cool, captivating, brave.

My fans would love you.

They'd eat your sh*t up.

I'll give you your own merch.

You can make your own money.

It'll all be emblazoned

with the word "champ".

Get the f*ck out

from under Jack's thumb.

He's my brother.

I won't screw him like that.

Like he screws you?

You familiar with rule 34?

Rule 34 is the Internet

principle that posits

that for any fictional character,

someone somewhere online

has drawn them having sex.

Like Hentai, the Japanese sh*t?

Yes, like Hentai,

but Hentai has evolved.

I bookmarked this.

It's disturbing,

but do you notice anything?

- Is that me f*cking Jack?

- No, that's Jack f*cking you.

What the f*ck, man?

Look, I got no problem with gay sh*t,

but don't show me that f*cking sh*t.

That's twisted. That's my brother, man.

Why do you think

I call my promotion Dystopia?

We live in a fallen world,

a world of smut and sh*t and v*olence

and people who traffic in and revel in

dark, twisted sh*t.

Why are you so obsessed

with dark and twisted sh*t?

Have you ever had

the displeasure of having

a fat French-Canadian priest

put his soft hands

on your 12-year-old cock?

I have.

It'll give you a point of view

about the world.

- That's f*cked up, man.

- [GULLY] Yeah.

And those drawings, that's

how people see you, kid:

getting f*cked by Jack

and kind of enjoying it.

It's sad, and it doesn't

have to be that way.

Look, man, party on with us.

Stay the night.

See what we're all about.

Walk away knowing you're

making an informed decision,

a decision that you make

for yourself by yourself.

[DRAMATIC GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS]

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYS]

♪

[KNOCKING]

[SINGERS] Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

Ooh ♪

[INAUDIBLE SPEAKING]

Ooh ♪

♪

Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

Ooh-ooh ♪

Ooh ♪

♪

Ooh ♪

♪

Ooh ♪

♪

Ooh ♪

[CONSTANCE] Hey, Jack,

it's Constance Garrity

from the South Georgia

State Fair Commission

just following up

about the insurance forms.

If you can please

email me out a copy ASAP,

we'd appreciate it.

[TIM] Jack, it's Tim. Hey, you just left

before we could go over

next week's schedule.

I'm going on a golf weekend

in Hilton Head,

and Johnny's got surgery on Tuesday,

so I need you to cover more shifts.

Call me so we can go over it, okay?

No, don't. Just-just text me.

Anyway, okay. Bye.

[WILD BILL] Jack, I got the perfect idea

on how to script the whole fair,

but I'm gonna need to hire a new valet,

and, uh well, call me

[JACK SCREAMING] f*ck!

♪

[SIGHS] Robin!

Robin, get in here!

Did I not text you to clean

this sh*t up before I got home?

Explain why it's still here.

- I forgot.

- [WILLIE] You forgot.

I did.

- You smoking weed now?

- No!

Then how'd you forget?

Put your phone down.

I'm looking to find my reminder.

Your reminder to clean up the counter?

I was already at school

when you texted me

to clean up the counter,

so I set a reminder,

but Dad picked me up after the reminder

had gone off, so I forgot.

[WILLIE] Terrible, Robin.

I mean, honestly, so terrible.

[TED] There are my two favorite people.

Did you know we raised a daughter

who needs to set a f*cking reminder

to remember to clean up

her f*cking breakfast dishes?

Well, that must be

my bad genes, I guess.

- Sorry, Robbie.

- [WILLIE] It's f*cking pathetic, Ted.

Willie, she's a teenager.

That's no excuse.

Well, we actually learned about how

the teenage prefrontal cortex

goes through the process

- of myelination

- [WILLIE] Hey!

You better start the f*cking process

of cleaning this sh*t up now.

It's all right. It's okay, darling.

Hey, what's going on?

Turn that off.

Tell me what's bothering you.

Talking bothers me.

This stuff with Jack and Bill still?

No, do not speak to me about that.

I'm speaking with concern and love.

[WILLIE] It's not

coming across that way.

Jesus Christ.

He hasn't been much help.

What can I do to help?

Let me sit without talking.

You know, you can always quit.

[LAUGHS] Oh, God,

that's definitely not helping.

[TED] You do not need these guys.

Leave 'em to their own misery.

Right, right, before

all the work pays off.

Willie

you wanna know one of the reasons

why I fell in love with you?

'Cause I hate conversations like this?

No, 'cause you live in the present

not the past, not the future,

right here.

Never too much regret or stress

or planning or worrying.

That may be how it seems, but

[TED] I'm with you for the long haul.

But I don't look at it like a haul.

I mean, I look at it like

just enjoying the day,

just enjoying another day

with Willie Day.

And when you told me

that your old friend Bill

needed a place to crash,

I welcomed him in.

And when you told me that you

wanted me to kick him out,

I booted him in seconds.

If you need me to speak

to Jack and speak to Bill

I don't need anyone speaking for me.

This situation at the DWL

Tom, Bill, Jack

has put you in some

kind of a undefinable,

I don't know, distress,

and it's startling.

I mean, you're drinking

way more than you have been.

Deal with it.

Well, that's what I'm trying to do.

Just because the Spade family has staked

their entire identity on this league

doesn't mean that we have to.

You're a talented producer,

administrator.

You could work at a theater, college.

In Duffy?

[TED] Yeah, well, we can move.

Look, I don't wanna talk about this.

I don't wanna talk and I don't

wanna listen to you talk.

What, you just prefer to sit and drink?

[EXHALING] Yes.

- [TED] Willie.

- [INHALES DEEPLY]

Ted

I don't wanna say things I shouldn't.

Because they're the truth?

- [GLASS THUDS DOWN]

- Ted!

Willie, you had a life before me.

I had a life before you.

I understand that Bill's return

has brought some emotions

up to the surface.

[CLAPPING FORCEFULLY]

I don't wanna talk about it!

I told you.

I told you I didn't wanna talk about it,

and you had to go on talking.

I told you! f*cking told you.

f*ck!

[DOOR SLAMS]

[SIGHS]

[ALARM RINGING]

[GRUNTS] Excuse me.

[GRUNTS]

[EXHALES HEAVILY]

- [EXHALES HEAVILY]

- Wake up, sleepy.

Dystopia show day.

Where am I?

Gully mansion.

What time is it?

It's party time.

[ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYS]

♪

- [RAP MUSIC PLAYING]

- [CROWD CHEERING]

[INDISTINCT RAPPING]

[CROWD ROARS]

Yeah!

[GULLY] Get it in there.

Let's go! Come on, now!

Yeah, welcome to Dystopia, baby!

[PEOPLE WHOOPING]

[BOTH MOANING, BREATHING HEAVILY]

[NOZOMI SPEAKING JAPANESE]

- [ACE] Say what?

- [NOZOMI] I wanna f*ck you

- right now.

- [ACE] Oh, f*ck!

Ah, I'm sorry, can I have the room

- Why?

- for a sec?

You're just so f*cking hot.

I just I gotta call my mom.

- Really?

- She's in the hospital.

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

- [SPEAKING JAPANESE]

- What?

I'll say a prayer.

Oh. Thank you.

[DISTANT TRAIN BELL DINGING]

[TRAIN HORN BLOWS]

[CELL PHONE BUZZING]

[BUZZING CONTINUES]

[LAUGHING] What's up, girl?

Hey, where are you?

FWD, baby.

I'm jumping ship.

We're announcing it tonight.

Uh, Jesus, Ace. That's, uh

[ACE] f*cking sick, right?

Best part is,

I want you to come with me

but, uh, not as my valet.

As my partner in crime or whatever.

A fellow wrestler. I'll talk to Gully.

sh*t, he wants me here

so f*cking badly anyway.

Have you talked to Jack?

f*ck no. f*ck Jack.

I'm done letting him bend me over.

Tonight Gully's bringing me

out after the show.

I'm gonna say f*ck Jack, f*ck the DWL.

I found a new home.

- [OVERLAPPING SHOUTING]

- [BOTTLE SHATTERS]

Oh, my God. What the hell was that?

That's this dude Bob Wired.

He hits people with barbwire.

Smashes glass over

their head or some sh*t.

Hey, my phone's gonna die,

but, uh, you should

make it out if you can.

You know, you can stay

at Gully's mansion.

You can have your own room or whatever.

I'm not suggesting anything, but

if not, just call me tomorrow.

Uh, all right.

Well, hey, be safe, okay?

How's your mom?

Resting.

sh*t.

[SIGHS]

[ENGINE RUMBLING]

- [INDISTINCT DIALOGUE OVER TV]

- [STACI] Who's here?

[JACK GRUNTS]

It's Crystal.

[INDISTINCT DIALOGUE OVER TV]

Crystal, at a certain point,

dogged tenacity

begins to lose its charm.

We're right in range.

I'm not here to talk about me.

I swear. It's Ace.

[JACK] What about him?

He's at the FWD show with Gully.

Are you f*cking with me?

[CRYSTAL] He FaceTimed me,

said he's gonna go out

at the end of the show tonight,

join the FWD officially.

Say f*ck the DWL and f*ck you.

Why are you telling me this?

What's the angle?

Not everything is an angle.

It is if you're smart, and you are.

I told you, Jack,

I care about the DWL a lot.

And I know how important this

state fair is for everybody,

but more importantly, I care about Ace.

And even though you're an assh*le

and you are an assh*le, Jack

I don't think

you're gonna let him get hurt

like how Gully might.

But I could be wrong.

Just thought I should tell you.

He ain't gonna listen to me.

Uh Crystal.

Thank you.

[ENGINE TURNING OVER]

[STACI] What's wrong? What's going on?

- [JACK] It's Ace.

- What happened?

- Is he okay?

- [JACK] No.

[THOMAS] What's happening

with Uncle Ace?

- Jack!

- Hey, look, it's not

[SIGHS] He's in Jacksonville

with Charlie Gully from

Florida Wrestling Dystopia,

who's my biggest rival

and a mortal thr*at to the DWL.

- Oh! [LAUGHS] Jesus, Jack.

- [JACK] What?

- I thought it was serious.

- It is serious.

Like Ace was hurt.

Staci, come on.

[STACI] Hey, it's movie night.

We opened the wine

celebrating my rodeo news.

Staci, if he gets up

in Charlie Gully's ring

and he shits on the DWL,

we're done and they win.

[STACI] Why can't you just let

him go if that's what he wants?

Because he doesn't know

what's good for him.

- And you do?

- Yes.

I do.

- [SIGHS]

- I love you.

Hey, love you.

Don't wait up.

[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS]

♪

- [LINE RINGS]

- [ACE] This is Ace.

- Leave a message and I'll hit you back.

- sh*t!

♪

All right, stay here, boo.

I'll be right back.

[THOMAS] Mom.

I think I got into the fight

because I'm sad.

Sometimes I feel like

my spirit is broken

like Grandad Spade.

You know, I feel mad

and sad sometimes too.

That's a terrible feeling.

Hey, but we're gonna

fix that. All right?

I promise, 'cause you're my best boy.

You're my love.

I'm really glad you told me this.

It's important to tell people

how you feel

because then it doesn't

stay all bottled up.

It gets to go out into the world.

That's a good thing.

Hey, why don't you help Mommy

run some errands?

Can you do that?

Good, 'cause I could sure use your help.

Hey, Howard.

Hey, Staci. Hey, Thomas.

I need your help with something.

Sure thing. What's up?

[KEYBOARD CLACKING]

[HOWARD] Yeah, we got a bulk purchase

of these Kleenex packets right here.

Um, purchase order came

from the Duffy Wrestling League account.

Picked up in-store by Jack Spade.

[HEAVY MUSIC PLAYS]

- ♪

-

[CROWD ROARING]

[GROANING]

Rooster time!

[CROWD ROARING]

One, two, three!

- Yeah!

- [BELL DINGS]

[SINGER] He's Rooster ♪

Yeah!

[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

♪

[SINGER] He's Rooster ♪

[CROWD CHANTING] Rooster! Rooster!

Rooster! Rooster! Rooster! Rooster!

Rooster! Rooster!

[SINGER] He's Rooster ♪

Hey, man. Got this for you.

Welcome to Dystopia.

[ACE] Thanks, man.

It's beautiful, ain't it?

Two hours of mayhem.

Let's bring it home.

[ACE] Yes, sir.

Yeah, Rooster's awesome.

Yes, he is. We put

the belt on him tonight,

but next week, it's gonna be yours.

I wanna do a pop-up show

same night as the state fair.

Uh I don't-I don't

need it right away.

Why not?

Shouldn't we, uh, build

it up a little, you know?

And Rooster probably

deserves it for a little while.

Rooster's just the bait, son.

You're the fish.

- Really appreciate you, Gully.

- Love ya, pal.

[ROOSTER CHUCKLES]

Top that, little bitch.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

♪

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[CROWD CHANTING]

Gully is God! Gully is God!

Gully is God! Gully is God!

What a f*cking night!

[CROWD ROARING]

Florida Wrestling Dystopia forever!

[CROWD CHANTING]

Forever! Forever! Forever!

Forever! Forever!

Forever! Forever!

All right, now

there's a rumor floating around

- [SCATTERED CHEERING]

- a rumor that we have

a visitor from out of town.

[CROWD CHANTING] Ace! Ace! Ace! Ace!

[GULLY] Oh, so you've

heard the rumor too?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

Can you imagine the roar

if the Ace of Spades walked

down that ramp right now?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

I bet you'd be able to hear that roar

all the way up in Duffy.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]

♪

Sorry to say

sorry to say the rumors aren't true.

- [CROWD GROANS]

- Yeah.

You know, your friend Charlie Gully

only has so many surprises

up his sleeve.

[CROWD CHATTERING]

That's your cue, Ace.

But just when you think

that the fish ain't biting

- [WHOOSHES]

- [CROWD YELLING]

That's when you feel a tug!

[CROWD BOOING]

Whoa!

Hey, hey that's no way to treat a guest.

Ladies and gentlemen,

our legendary nemesis,

Mr. Jack Spade.

[CROWD GROANS]

[CROWD BOOING]

You piece of sh*t.

Don't come for my sh*t, boy.

["ROLL WITH THE CHANGES" PLAYING]

♪

[ROOSTER] Man, y'all got

a f*cked-up family.

[LAUGHS]

♪

- Somebody get that m*therf*cker!

- [CROWD ROARS]

[REO SPEEDWAGON]

As soon as you are able ♪

Woman, I am willing ♪

To make the break

that we are on the brink of ♪

My cup is on the table ♪

Our love is spilling ♪

Waiting here for you

to take a drink of ♪

♪

So if you're tired ♪

Of the same old story ♪

Oh, turn some pages ♪

♪

I'll be here when you are ready ♪

To roll with the changes ♪

Baby, roll with the changes ♪

Oh, you know, you know

you know you got to ♪

Keep on rolling ♪

Keep on rolling ♪

Ooh ♪

Ooh ♪