INCORRIGIBLE
Don't be sad, boss.
We knew sooner or later you'll get out.
But we were waiting for you to do something stupid.
However... We don't feel ourself today.
It's the hardest for those who stay.
- Raoul, brother.
- Victor.
- You look bad.
- I can't sleep for last 3 months.
Yes, it is hard. Very.
Enough being sentimental! Work calls!
I can hear it. Or rather, I can feel it.
- Camille is waiting for you.
- Dear Camille.
And Catherine is looking for you.
She visited three times.
Wine, whiskey and Alka-Seltzer. And the phone token.
I took one, thank you.
Localus Agency?
This is Charles Henri de Ferrussac.
I know... I was in Calcutta.
Very tough life, terrible poverty.
What about my mansion on Avenue Foch?
Any buyers?
The diplomat, American? Very good.
Surcharge for setting - 2 million.
In dollars if he doesn't mind. Cash.
Exactly at 12:00 pm on the Avenue Foch.
Exactly at 12:00 pm. Goodbye.
Was it tough?
Tougher than last time, when we made
slippers and baskets.
There was a time to dream. And now with all these
demonstrations, petitions, strikes...
...not a free moment.
Hello. Mrs. Helene?
It's Jaubert.
I'm calling from Monfort. We are freezing.
Heating broke down tonight.
Your favorite orchids are also frozen.
So, it's the flood here.
Like in Venice.
Yes, ma'am, it's horror.
Insurance agent arrives at noon.
Very well, madam.
Put your boots on.
I'm telling you, it's a real Venice here.
- You phone is not working. What is this?
- Your whiskey.
- And Alka-Seltzer?
- I don't have Alka-Seltzer.
None of this and none of that...
- A wine?
- I don't drink.
- Let's go. Camille is waiting for us.
- First we go on the Avenue Foch.
I'll go to Helen, and you bring here at 12 o'clock
the American. His name is Morrison.
- Well, it's started.
- What?
I said: "Well, it's started".
I rot 3 months in hell,
I asked you for one favor, and you...
First, "Well, it's started" -
it's too much.
Second, if you must know...
he's the next president of the United States.
Tell him about Corinthian columns,
friezes of Italian art...
In short, entertain him.
- So far, behind the white curtains...
- Yes.
Monsieur Vauthier.
Hello, Lucien. Is Madame home?
Madame is preparing to leave for Monfort.
We've got a disaster there.
- Heating problem?
- Yes, sir.
There are things that should not be neglected:
Health, car and heating.
If heating is gone, everything else will be gone.
This is the end.
- I hope upstairs bathroom is still working?
- So far, yes.
Good. Tell the madam,
that I'm taking a bath.
Helene, you...
- You here?
- Yes.
In your blue outfit.
You think of everything.
No, I didn't think I'll find you
in my bathtub.
I needed. It has been very hard.
5 hour flight, 6 hours on the camel
and 8 hours train travel from Addis Ababa.
I know, your lawyer told me.
Did you get my parcel?
Yes, thank you.
But man can't last long on canned food.
- For last 3 months I've been thinking a lot.
- And what was the result?
I asked myself: Victor, what
you spent your youth on?
What chimeras were you chasings?
Wanting to capture the elusive,
you risk to miss the most essential.
Is it time to drop the anchor,
old traveler?
Look... What are those clothes?
If you're looking for yours
there're in your suitcase.
I got it. Get out on an empty stomach.
- I can offer you a sandwich.
- A sandwich? Excellent.
- Are you looking for something, sir?
- Blueberry jam.
Now is the era of marmalade, sir.
I'll be back in the evening.
Bye, darling.
Lucien, don't prepare a dinner.
I will be in Monfort.
Neither a supper. We're leaving.
- Where to?
- We're have a dinner with Monsieur's brother.
He lives in Labrador?
Such a disappointment. Jober called from Monfort
in the morning. It seems...
- Oh, I forgot.
- What did you forget?
Lucien mentioned the heating.
There are three things that can't be neglected.
Look at the balconies.
Corinthian columns. Ancient art.
But I was told, 12:00 pm sharp.
- Once you own the house...
...you will have visitors. You should explain everything
to them. If not, what would they think?
Look at Italian frieze.
I bet you don't know whose work it is.
- Della Robbia?
- No.
In short, everything is flooded.
Jaubert said it looks like Venice.
Venice. Do you remember?
Yes... Gritti Palace.
Yes. Gritti Palace is sinking.
All dies... the palace, our love.
Put on a hat. Don't look back,
no need for tears. Farewell, Helene.
- Victor.
- No.
I'm not begging you to be the friends.
At least, now.
Faster, Maurice.
I'm really late. We go to Monfort.
All you still haven't guessed - Michelangelo.
Let's go into the house.
Please.
- Charles Henri de Ferrussac, madame.
- Pleased, to meet you.
Mr. Ambassador. I hope you were
notified about a little extra environment surcharge?
But we would like to take a look first.
I am at your service. Thank you, Lucien.
This is hallway. Tapestry from the 18th century.
- What a beautiful clock.
- Yes. This clock is late 18th century.
Electricity, the modern era.
Outlets everywhere, American way.
Thanks, Lucien!
Yes, all outlets, mixer, stereo,
coffee grinder, washing machine...
Chinese carpet - the Ming Dynasty, year 1403.
Mother....
Della Robbia.
He made the friezes on the facade.
- No blueberry jam?
- No.
Library. My bedroom.
- I should've k*ll him.
- We can't see the bedroom?
No, but look around.
Morrison, would you k*ll him?
Like an American?
- Well, I...
- I almost did it. Exactly one year ago.
Every time I go to this room,
I see this picture.
That evening I went to the theater alone.
Helene didn't feel well.
I was
show, came back home.
Passing through the living room,
I've heard a scream.
I ran and saw on persian rug
two embraced bodies!
My wife with the guy.
I couldn't forgive her.
Now you understand why I leave Europe.
- The contract? The surcharge?
- Oh, yes.
Contract will be issued in the agency.
Thanks.
Lucien, send my luggage to Le Havre.
You're late again, I'll miss a start.
Sell Saint Gobain shares and buy Suez.
Gentlemen...
- Don't you think that Camilla's coffee is getting cold?
- We'll warm it up.
- And what is the story with Catherine?
- Nothing serious...
You're getting married
and I just found out about it?
I was away for three months...
How old is this Maurice?
- Twenty two.
- Twenty two!
At this age, there are more important things
than chacing the girls.
- Did you ever sleep with him?
- Well, yes... slightly.
- You will drive me to the grave.
- Relax, grandpa.
Don't call me that.
And what Maurice does for living?
We found one shop.
And with a couple million francs...
Shure. A shop, big love...
And two million from Victor.
Money are not falling from the sky.
I'm working hard for them.
- Where's Mom?
- There.
- Adrienne.
- Victor? What are you doing here?
You need to ask?
Who is this Maurice?
Yes, I know he's cute,
he is twenty two and he loves her.
And he got nerves to rob me from 2 million...
...because he sleeps with your daughter.
- My daughter! She is your daughter as well.
I knew that I'd had troubles with her,
once she grows up.
I can imagine that Maurice:
"We will be happy, I'll find a job."
He gets money out of the little girl
and disappears.
- Hopefully, she won't get knocked up.
- It would remind you something.
Adrienne.
Just say, that you have no money...
It's not money but the principle.
Do I look like a sucker?
You are lucky, the real estate is on the rise.
Dollars.
I was ruthless.
Can I make a phone call?
Over there.
- Hello, Cyclo-Bar? Get me Freddy.
- It's me.
- You?
Yes, on the Antilles.
Luxurious. Heavy, but luxurious.
I invested in one deal.
I need to add two more million.
- When?
- What do you mean "when"? Now.
There is a good business. One guy needs a yacht.
Maybe you sell yours?
- I don't have a yacht.
- As I say... good business.
Right. Single seawolf.
See you at 4:00 pm in Bougival.
Dont worry, I just pass through.
Helene, dear. I think they're for you.
Do you think I can sail on it,
monsieur Kerdonkuff?
You can sail anywhere.
I got into a terrible storm off Cape Horn.
Thirty meters waves.
Never budged.
- Sybille, are you coming?
- No, thanks.
Sybille. Rare name.
And Kerdonkuff - rare surname.
How much do you get for the sale of bucket vessels?
- 10% as always.
- I'll give you 20 if the transaction won't happen.
A month in this chute,
alone with Dyuglando...
I imagine that you live in different conditions.
In the mansion, for example.
I know one, you can buy for a penny.
Talk to Robert.
- Again, 10% is your cut?
- I split it with you.
- Damn. This is Robert.
- God. Husband?
- Is it you, dear?
- Who else, a whore.
Open up. I know he's here.
- Who, dear?
- Open it.
- Where is he?
- Who?
Him.
Hello, Victor.
- Is Camille here?
- Where else.
Thanks for coming to get me.
I'd forgive such a words to anyone.
But you...
You are an associate of hermit,
companion of sage.
You could be my disciple,
if you weren't a ghost.
A draft.
- I met Freddy.
- Freddy?
Freddy, Mauricette, Totor, Juju.
Your connectiona are like your life:
deplorable and fruitless.
For twenty years, you were wasting your life
on the racetrack and in the bedrooms.
You waste your time.
You must live in boredom, Victor,
if you want to extend the time.
I can spend hours looking at myself in the mirror.
Anguish.
Waxy complexion, yellow teeth, extinct look.
Plus tinnitus and amorous grief.
Believe me, the time goes very slowly.
And you don't you look in the mirror,
because you're funny.
I mean, frivolous, reckless.
Victor, you're like the air baloon.
Your life flows like running water.
And my runs like an old faucet.
Maybe soon it won't be needed.
When I reach the absolute wisdom,
full immobility.
Here, on this chair.
Curled, thick like hard-boiled egg.
I should give you not a chair
but an egg cup.
Take it, others will take care of your education.
A psychiatrist was given for you.
They call him an educator, so you don't panic.
He should be here in the morning.
Will you meet him in this outfit?
I'd like to see Monsieur Victor Vauthier.
At this time, he has to be in the garden.
Ask there. Yes, over there.
Monsieur Vauthier.
Monsieur Vauthier?
Unfortunately, no. He is in the garden.
Victor always rises at dawn.
Habitual knife, shears...
He doesn't need anything else.
Victor, baby.
- Uncle?
- Come here.
I have a little problem
with ''Widow of President Doumer''.
Withered in the spring and got aphids now.
- You've got a visitor.
- Mademoiselle.
You must be coming for Ruffec's wedding bouquet.
But with the hail last week...
No, no. I am not for this.
I'm Miss Pontalec.
From the Department Aid for serving time penalties.
I have been appointed by the judge.
They will harass me again.
I won't harass you.
I just want to talk.
- Uncle, can we go inside?
- Sure, kid.
Victor.
The phone call.
I'm sorry, miss.
This is probably Brandillon.
- I didn't picture him like that.
- Fear of prejudice, mademoiselle.
"Who stole the egg will steal an ox'', and
"who drank, would always drink" and so on.
Apart from a little sins,
Victor is like a saint. A saint.
But his frankness sometimes is too harsh.
Ralph Bennet here.
They needed bombers and now they need fighters?
No problem.
"Mirage-3".
Meeting in "Prince de Galles". At 11. Roger.
If you are looking for a bad family history,
you will be disappointed. Zola is resting.
His father was a gardener in Villandry,
and mother - the florist in Saint-Germain.
Florist from "Prince de Galles" called.
I have a meeting with him in about an hour
regarding the flower show.
- He remembered me.
- I'm happy for you.
- But I need to talk to you?
- I think the work is more important.
- Let's talk over the lunch.
- Good.
Well, I'll go change.
It's still a business meeting.
- This is yours?
- Yes. I have it for 15 years.
Darling.
- The roof doesn't lift?
- Never.
- You always drive like that?
- All my life.
- Are you familiar with the Bol d'Or '54?
- No.
Chiron came first, the second - Vautier, my dad.
30 years behind the wheel.
- In Villandry?
- In Monza, Indianapolis.
Father taught you how to park?
Father only knew what was riding on battlefields
dotted with corpses.
- I think I have heard something about him.
- Good morning, sir. I...
If they ask for me, I'm at "Savarene".
In ''Prince de Galles'' they won't let us talk.
- Max, I need to talk to you.
Find some time. - Good.
- Loulou, how are you?
- Fine.
- Doctor, I feel a little bloated...
- Take a pill and wash down with water.
- Henri.
- Therese.
- Any table?
- Prepare # 8 on the terrace.
Long time haven't seen you, Monsieur Henri...
I finish at 4.
-Today we've leeks vinaigrette.
-Well, two then.
And what's not to be missed,
is the shoulder with lentils.
Two shoulders and Grand Marnier for start.
Then souffle and profiteroles.
- Bring Beaujolais and Sauvignon, too.
- And two Martinis - as always.
- Strange.
- What?
Your eyes... like North Sea. Flanders.
The oval of your face -
the Italian Renaissance.
- I don't understand what you represent.
- Me either, I don't understand you.
So, your father won Bol d'Or...
No. He came second.
Do not distort the facts.
- Still not bad for the gardener.
- Gardener? Who told you that?
- Your uncle.
- Of course. Talk the talk.
My father has never been a gardener.
He was... Republican Guard.
Okay. Monsieur Vauthier...
...forget about your father, because
you don't live with him but with your uncle.
- Why?
- Because he's lonely.
- So what?
- Me too, lived alone for a long time.
I had a terrible childhood, better not to recall.
Alcoholic father, exhausted mother,
I can see her in frosty forest
collecting firewood.
- I hang to her skirt.
- Did you have a big family?
- Fifteen people.
- Fifteen?
Suddenly men began to come home,
especially military ones.
My mother was beautiful.
You should have seen her on the main staircase
in the peacock's feather boa...
- Very comfortable to collect firewood.
- Don't interrupt me or I lose the plot.
- Monsieur Ralph Bennet?
- No... Ah, yes.
- Monsieur N'Baliba wants to talk to you.
- N'Baliba?
Yes, he's a florist.
We call him N'Baliba.
- And they call you Ralph Bennet?
- Exactly.
- Monsieur, I want to ask you...
- Later, my friend, I'm terribly busy.
The ministerial council took longer than expected.
I'm sorry.
General, Mr. Minister, Your Excellency.
What are the exscuses, Monsieur adviser.
Your new plans took me by surprise.
I agree with you. Giscard too.
Bombers have now bad reputation.
"Mirages" are in the hangar...
...guarded by Republican Guard,
whom I trust myself.
General wants the planes in Bobo Nagouda
before Thursday for the parade.
Thursday?
It gets difficult.
We planned to deliver parts through
Tangier to Istanbul. Assembly in Ouarzazate.
Pilots fly from Ulan Bator
on Tupolev on the weekend.
Tupolevs don't fly on Thursday.
I have to contact the Prime Minister.
Exscuse me for a moment.
My apologies, Mr. Minister.
Cecile.
- I haven't seen you one hundred years. Grow a mustache?
- I have always had a mustache.
- Here's my key.
- Good.
- I think you're in great shape.
- Sure. Flower Show.
- What are you looking at?
- You have the Legion of Honor.
Legion of Honor?
No. It's another joke of Brandillon.
It's the kind of jokes that I can't stand.
I'll go and give him a thrashing.
- Put it on my tab.
- Who is she?
- Psychologist. Wants to know what's in my head
- I can tell her that.
- Valentin, you are without a mustache?
- I have never had a mustache... God.
As for Tupolev...
- Only cream puffs, nothing else?
- I'll get the menu.
Tupolev is all right. But it will be Ilyushin.
Ministry of Finance agrees.
President would close his eyes.
But not the manager of the hangar.
He is an honest man, wants the cash.
2 million. 2 times 3. 6.
My secretary. I'm sorry.
- Those are the importers of mangrove trees.
- Where did you get a mustache?
I have never had a mustache.
Wait here.
- My secretary would prepare contracts, and I...
- Where's your mustache?
Are we talking about the mustache or airplanes?
My head spins from all of that!
And your transit through Istanbul and Tangier!
I smell something fishy here!
Buy your "Mirages" somewhere else!
Albert, put it on my tab.
Cane and hat!
I have enough of those mangrove trees importers!
Let them buy geranium!
No one will disturb us anymore.
We won't talk in the hallway.
- We go upstairs.
- Where?
- To the room. They are 300 of them.
- No, no.
We'll continue the conversation tomorrow.
I have to go to work. It's 3:00pm already.
- What about tonight?
I go to a concert. I don't think that you're
a lover of classical music.
- Sorry, sir...
- I'm busy.
- Mademoiselle, you said classical music?
- Yes.
I was raised on classical music.
Brought up on it.
Mom sang "La Traviata" in the bathroom.
Bye.
Sorry to bother, sir.
I want to ask you for advice.
- They're waiting for me, but I'm listening.
- This is for my sister.
- Where is she?
- In the toilet.
How would you explain that, Monsieur lawyer?
20 years of marriage, two children, 52 year...
...thank you, sir. Joined the transvestites.
- Horror.
And doesn't agree to divorce.
Doesn't want to... Thank you, madam.
He can bring home one of them.
You know what I mean?
All these years brought salary for me.
- And now everything goes for the boots, corsets,
rubber raincoats. - Horror.
Even started to subscribe magazines.
Well, my brother found me a job...
No, sir, to the left.
Here is also something to tell.
Your story, dear madam,
in these days, unfortunately... very common.
- Do you have a "Polaroid"?
- Not with me. But maybe my brother...
Good. To sum it up: the divorce,
the protocol of adultery - alimony...
...solid case. I think about the children.
- Monsieur lawyer, you calmed me down.
Has my brother discussed your fee?
Thank you.
1 franc. Symbolically.
I almost forgot.
Where can I find this guy?
He is hanging out at the Hotel Tagada.
Vavin street.
- Sorry, I had to change.
- Berlioz, would you sit down or not?
Berlioz is going to break your nose...
Where am I?
- I think, I know that voice.
- Certainly. It's Tatiana Negulesco.
Of course.
You don't need the binoculars.
Sorry, I'll be back in a minute.
Gino, it's you. I didn't expect you.
- Honey, what are you doing here?
- I saw your name on the billboard and came flying.
Gino. Came flying. I never thought of that.
Sorry.
It's been 3 years. How do I perform?
- I can't hear you. They put me on the gallery.
- You?
Run to the manager. Shout.
Tell them that you're my lover.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Walter, you are genius.
I didn't tell you that I was in the hall,
not to get you upset.
Big fan. My friend, Walter.
Do you want an autograph?
Don't you have a photo?... Okay.
If you need anything,
you know where to find me.
Keep in touch.
Genius.
You're all here. How nice.
Thank you for coming.
You were in the hall? Not bad, but not better than this.
Thank you. Sorry.
Gino. Gino.
- You wanted to run away, you rascal?
- No, I'm looking for you. Don't be nervous.
This is my doctor.
Negulesco needs no introduction.
- Your doctor? Are you sick?
- No... Yes. I'll tell you.
- If you want to stay, Gino...
- No, no.
- I'll meet you in the "Hummingbird".
- Where is it?
Near "Tagada" on Vaven street.
Dozen oysters, a bottle of Muscadet.
You will be home in an hour.
No, no, it's too late. I need to get up
early in the morning. Get me a taxi.
- No, I'll take you. Where do you live?
- In Senlis.
I'll take this junk myself to the landfill.
I took this car in case you brought some friends.
After midnight radio plays music for truck drivers.
528 AM.
- There's something familiar.
- It's the 5th Symphony.
What is it with me? I smoke too much.
Memory fades.
I remember certain passages.
Tell me, what's your name?
Marie-Charlotte.
- Dear Marie-Charlotte, do you believe
in witchcraft? - No.
I do, but... But...
In the morning we didn't know each other.
In addition, the fate connected us...
...like lobster and cobra.
- Mongoose.
And then... What happened?
Schubert's Adagio, your children's eyes,
your frailty.
- Why I was there?
- Providence.
Here. We could talk triviality,
and we have an interesting conversation.
- Interesting.
- Oh, Marie-Charlotte.
Damn door.
- What were you saying?
- Oh, Marie-Charlotte.
Maybe tomorrow we will say
it was stipidity.
Wonderful stupidity.
I can't believe it.
Me too.
Ret*rded, paranoid, perverted...
I've seen everything today?
But such a mythomaniac - for the first time.
Yes, I'm funny...
I understand. Farewell.
No, till tomorrow.
But we'll meet not in the bar of artists...
...or the Prince of Wales, and especially
not in the "Tagada" on the Vavin street.
In my office, 18 Quai des Orfevres,
at three o'clock.
Goodbye "master."
Hotel "Tagada." The crime scene.
SENLlS MUSEUM
Sorry.
Come on, let's go.
- Wait 5 minutes.
- It's you.
What are you up to, old satyr?
Please, do not draw attention.
I'm here on a very delicate matter.
Bathroom attendant's two children.
- Good evening.
- Ah, it's you.
The camera and flash are ready, all set.
One warning: I will not undress.
No, no, I will come in right behind you.
Click, and it's done.
Lawyer Wassemberg of the Paris Bar.
- Sorry, I don't have business card with me.
- It wouldn't help you now.
- Thank you.
- Now they take us away together with fags?
- Well, that's enough.
- Earlier whores and fags were separate.
He is not a f*g. Show off.
You say that, because he's a freak.
Please, be polite.
In my opinion, they are very polite.
You, shut up.
It's all because of you.
Want to have a coffee?
We could get about like friends.
- Hello, Victor!
- Hey, guys!
I'm not asking you about anything.
I found a way out of a very confusing situation
in Prince of Wales bathroom.
- Like this?
- No.
- Before that, I was listening to Tatiana Negulesco.
- She's back?
No. You know that
since yesterday I'm not single.
Marie-Charlotte didn't leave me for a whole day.
She's got glued to me.
Marie-Charlotte Pontalec is the best...
...we had after Helene Dupont-Moreau.
And delicious Egyptian,
who got tired of our manners.
That nympho dancing with the ball.
Victor, don't you think it's time to stop?
But I wouldn't like to see this stop
between "Alcazary'' cabaret and "Grand Ezhen".
- Where does she live?
- Who?
- Marie-Charlotte.
- Senlis.
Sounds good.
Who's her father?
- I don't know.
- I don't have to worry about this.
Most likely, official from the Forestry Department
or former governor of the colony.
This marriage could be your salvation.
Marriage? What are you talking about?
You returned from your honeymoon alone.
Raul's wife left,
leaving him with five children.
You sound like a kid.
For you, love is the mandolin, bad poems.
True love is like Shakespearean passion.
You don't whisper about love, you shout about it.
I cried. And I still cry sometimes.
Antinéa...
Whore. Remember how she was running naked
in the bay of Mont Saint-Michel?
And I shouted from the wall:
Antinéa! Antinéa!
By the way, you know the news?
Sea retreating under the pressure of the sand.
In 50 years, the Mont Saint-Michel
will be on land.
- Witness of your love on beet's field.
- What a bad taste.
You'll never know intoxicating sweetness
of excruciating pain of love.
But not everyone has the wingspan to be tragic.
Be content with happiness,
joy mediocrity.
Properly done to teach me a lesson.
You are created for high poetry.
My destiny for hairdressers and wrenches.
No more.
From now on,
Victor Vauthier will come forward.
I'm chairman of Schwab-Lautrec Law firm.
Keep an eye on my car.
- Do you have subpoena?
- Yes...
I mean... no.
I was asked to attend the educators.
Sector 5th, suite 413.
So, you r*ped your sister on June 6th.
- She was drunk and already pregnant
with your father, right? - Yes, ma'am.
Hello. All talking, right?
Paulo!
- He's a nice guy, but is influenced.
- Please, do not interfere.
Marie-Charlotte.
Are you busy?
I'll see you tomorrow in your workshop.
Goodbye.
He's not leaving because of me?
How are you?
You have strange affect on me.
When shaving in the morning I was whistling.
My uncle asked me:
"What are you whistle"?
It was the 5th Symphony.
That's it.
Since you started talking about your uncle,
who - by the way - is not uncle, let's talk.
He's living for 15 years as a hermit in chatou,
then on May 16th, 1961...
...he interrupted his retreat
to join the Bank of Netherlands.
He got five years in prison.
His biography is well known.
But yours, Monsieur Vauthier,
has many gaps.
Let's see: Vauthier... Born in Biarritz, 1933.
Father - tennis coach.
Mother moonlighted as a fashion model, actress.
Say, no specific trade.
Public School Besançon.
Graduated from high school...
With honors.
Exactly.
Here is the first blank spot.
Little Victor appears in 1949
in juvenile court in Versaille...
...for stealing Republican Guard's uniforms.
- Yes.
So what did Victor do between
12 and 16 years old?
You're confusing me.
Yesterday I've been nice, you trusted me.
Now you rummage in drawers,
in family photographs.
And you're wonder why I shut down.
Why? Are you ashamed to admit
what you did in that period?
No. You just will not believe me.
Dealing with you,
I tend to believe what I see.
You should say that from the begining.
Do you want to see?
You'll see.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Rosy and Rosario and give them thanks.
But this is only the first part of
the show
Now you will see bears,
sea lions, acrobats.
I just need a bank note here.
Madame Florinda, crystal ball, tarot cards...
- He's lying like me.
- Yes. But they believe him.
Madame Florinda predicted sinking of the Titanic,
Hitler's death...
Another bill...
Acrobats, monkeys and flying fish.
My glorious audience... generous, generous.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is our last show
in France.
Gomez circus returns to the America tomorrow...
...but returning soon with new amazing numbers:
...the Iroquois, bisons, "The Flying Dutchman",
"The Magic Flute"...
... and little Sam Coddy,
a son of Buffalo Bill himself.
A man like Victor...
when you find it, you keep it.
Victor is a magic lantern.
He never show you the Blue Mosque?
- Where is it?
- Anywhere. In Gennevilliers, in Malakoff.
Once he had me in Bougival
moved through the Bosphorus.
I fell asleep thinking of
Suleymaniye the Magnificent.
Those people will dream of lions and acrobats.
I would like to ask a question, madam.
Victor seems to feel at home with you.
Why?
He was 14 years old when I found him.
In Sainte-Marie, on Christmas Eve.
He was asleep in the snow, poor thing.
Don't you think that this is
like a fairy tale?
Yes, but Victor is an extraordinary man,
what annoys some people.
- What did you tell her?
- About the Blue Mosque, Bosphorus, St. Marie.
- Didn't forget the snow?
- Of course not.
Very good.
- She told you about the future?
- No. About the past.
Victor, tell me about yourself.
Seriously.
Well. I can't lie to you.
My real name is not Vauthier,
but Alvarez.
Andalusian.
My mother was a famous dancer.
What is this song about?
- No need to translate this beauty.
- Still, tell me.
Yes, all the same story.
The guy wants to be a matador,
to impress his girlfriend.
Horn pierces his ass.
He screams.
The girl also... and the mother, too.
All scream.
Victor, I would like to show you
Bosphorus and the Blue Mosque.
But I have no such a imagination.
Still, I want to give you a gift.
I think, I have an idea.
My parents are sleeping.
Place the ladder here.
Stop, you'll wake up
the whole neighborhood.
- You have a very cozy home.
- This is not my home.
It's the Museum de Senlis.
My Dad is a custodian.
Can you imagine?
PhD, a lawyer and educator...
...daughter of custodian of Senlis,
a member of Youth Music Society.
- You know what she asked me for?
- I don't care about it.
You said that she disabled alarm,
as she crossed the apartment?
Yes, they live upstairs.
So, in spite of all this...
... we almost made love in front of Gomez paintings.
- To hell with Gomez.
In this triptych on the left was
Virgin Mary dressed in purple?
- I think so.
- Good.
Museums of France...
Where is she?
Here.
Yes, here. Look, look.
- Yes, it is.
- Read.
"The Passion of the Christ" by El Greco.
- A good artist?
- Read, read.
" One of the few works by Toledo master
on the wood".
"A priceless masterpiece.
Jewel in crown of Senlis' museum collection".
- What is a "invaluable"?
- A lot.
Beet's fields?
It won't be the case.
Camille.
- Will do?
- Will do.
- At 7 o'clock. I'm counting on you.
- Good.
MINISTRY OF CULTURE
Who do I look like?
I'm the laughingstock of Saumur.
You told me? Word of the officer.
Where can I shove it?
- Where did he go?
- Who?
- Camille. He is long gone.
- He went to get some fresh air.
- He put on his hat and a black coat.
- Extension 315.
- The last time...
- Mademoiselle Pontalec?
Ah, Marie-Charlotte?
Suspicious character speaking.
- Ah, Monsieur Vauthier.
- Monsieur Vauthier? - I'm not alone.
How ended the last night?
Mr. custodian wasn't very happy
with disabled alarm.
- Do you want me to talk to him?
- No, no, thank you.
- Good. Where do we meet today?
- We are not, because I can't.
- Why?
- Maybe tomorrow.
Sure. Tomorrow or the day after,
next week or in six months.
I am glad that you can't wait to see me.
I got it. In any case,
you know where to find me.
Send subpoena or prison truck.
Say hallo to your parents.
Gislen, me sister...
She came home late last Saturday.
He chased her with a fire iron.
She's all cover in bruises.
What can I say, madam?
Man is working all week.
On Saturday, he should relax.
I'll come to scold him next week.
I promise. Goodbye, madam.
- Victor?
- Yes, what?
Don't hang up. I hate it.
Let me finish.
I didn't say that I don't want to.
I said, I can't.
- We have a dinner on Saturdays.
- Good. Should I wear a tuxedo?
Yes, with a mustache and the Legion of Honor.
But it's unlikely I will be able to relax.
I know how to behave.
I will not eat snails with fork for oysters.
It's not a contest of headwaiters,
just a family dinner.
Good to hear.
You are right to teach me a lesson...
...but I have a gentle soul, imagine this.
Yes, I'm old-fashioned.
- Listen, Victor...
- Again, Victor?
You just called me Monsieur Vauthier.
Let's face it.
No more Victor, no more Vauthier.
I am number 23,215.
Damn. Raul, can you imagine me
at dinner in a tuxedo...
...with frilled shirt, disciplined and
among house plants?
I throw a few jokes, all are fascinated by me.
- It'll be joyful evening.
- Look, it's Camille.
From now on, ladies and gentlemen,
the triptych of Senlis will be invaluable.
- Raul you'll pick-up the van from the garage
in Gennevilliers. - I'm so happy.
At 21:45 you need to be in the front
of the Museum of Senlis.
- Last time, we had to run.
- Not this time. There will be nobody there.
Victor, you take Marie-Charlotte to the opera.
Here are the tickets. One, two.
I doubt it.
She has dinner with mom and dad.
Mom and dad will leave for a weekend to Motte-Beuvron
at the invitation of Minister of Cultural Affairs.
This is a photocopy of the invitation.
Charlotte will be alone
and happy to go to the opera.
Antinéa.
I'll try to refresh your memory:
"Victor, it's time to stop...
...Marie-Charlotte is the best thing that has happened
since Helene Dupont-Moreau."
If we exercise the memory...
...I'll remind you that you rented mansion
on Avenue Foch 14 times.
I don't see why we can't steal one time
the triptych of Senlis?
And if Marie-Charlotte loves you poor,
why wouldn't she love you rich?
- I already made the arrangements. Ask Raul.
- Typical misunderstanding.
Do me a favor and correct this right now.
Hello. Mademoiselle Pontalec?
Don't hang up.
- Marie-Charlotte?
- Yes, Dad.
We're leaving. Good night, dear.
See you tomorrow.
I don't think we'll return for dinner.
I wonder if the Minister
will ask us to saty for dinner.
In this case, frome Senlis
I can get promoted to Aix-en-Provence.
And in 5 years, who knows... Louvre.
- Louvre.
- Yes, the Louvre, dear.
They leave. The path is clear.
I go to her.
You phone is broken.
Victor, I'm baking pancakes.
Come up.
Pancakes. Do you know what time it is?
Unbelievable.
Here. Pancakes can't wait.
Good evening, Victor.
The curtain goes up in 20 minutes.
Don't worry,
I was redecorating a little.
- We will miss overture.
- No, I have it here.
On the record.
It is better than any concert.
Recording? Are you serious?
What about the hall, the audience, the acoustics!
I put my suit on, not to listen to the record
and eat pancakes.
Not just pancakes.
Do you like salmon?
No. But more than that I don't like
to be late for concert.
Victor, we are not going to the opera.
We eat dinner quietly and listen to the record.
Usually, first I go to the opera, and then
have a dinner. I think so.
What's the time? Still five minutes.
Put a hat and we go.
Hopefully we could make for the first act.
I haven't turned off the headlights.
- Hurry, Victor. It gets cool.
- Yes.
- Give me the keys.
- No.
You sai: "Drive to the museum
and wait for me". I drove up and now I'll wait.
- But you can give me the keys?
- I can.
Since you want to collaborate,
look that nobody comes.
I can do that.
What are you doing here?
Why aren't you at the opera?
- We are not going to the opera.
We listen to the record at home. - Why not?
- We return tomorrow. Get out.
- Yes, of course.
I'll send dad to Sologne and buy you new tickets.
Tell me what you want to hear.
- Can't we talk in the house?
- He's right.
Move. When I start something I finish it.
- What about her?
- Lock her in the bedroom.
- What do I do with her?
- Have sex.
- Very nice.
- Does that bother you?
Bothers not that you'll be carrying the painting
while I have sex...
...but the fact that I will have sex
while you transport the painting.
- I'll blow your brains.
- You know that is not loaded.
Okay, but you're warned.
I go. But only because of you.
Raoul!
Put on ther slippers.
Yes, I can do that.
- What are you doing?
- If you insist on going to the opera...
- Opera! How awful!
Secular conventions, crowd, handshakes...
No thanks.
We can hear it quietly at home.
Solti. The chorus of La Scala.
Thanks God we didn't go.
Pancakes. Salmon. I love it.
- Where is the key?
- He said in the pharmacy jar.
Pharmacy, pharmacy.
Moron! Which one?
Military marches are mainly Germans.
But Italians are the opera kings.
Don't you think that after all Mozart...
Little boy.
It's impossible to compare.
- Hand brake.
- What?
- I forgot to put it on
- It's nothing terrible.
For you maybe.
With my history I could 5 years.
- What is it?
- Where is the key?
- I said in the pharmacy jar.
- Which one?
- Colchica Basilicum.
- You never mentioned it.
- It's empty.
- Must be in another.
Where are you going?
- Not found.
- I can't be everywhere.
- Where were you? - I couldn't find my car.
Forgot where I parked.
It happens to me.
Once, leaving "Carnegie Hall"...
- Yes.
- What?
Now I remember where it is. By the entrance.
- What now? - And the ladder?
You said I was in the closet.
Yes. Damn... I'll be back.
Anything else is forgotten?
Maybe now you pay attention to me.
And it's better match for your suit.
What is it?
My allergies.
Is there a hay or cats around here?
Ladder.
I'm allergic to the ladder.
When I was little,
my mother fell from the ladder.
Since then, I can't look at them.
Even the smallest one.
And as for this...
- What's wrong?
- You haven't heard?
Nothing at all.
However, maybe you're right.
Excuse me.
Could a ladder fall on its own.
- Mentioning the ladder...
- I'm sorry, Victor...
What do you think,
how many days we can survive?
With no food a week. But without water...
- My God. Girls.
- Yes.
- Victor, relax.
- Yes.
But when I look at it...
Such a beauty.
What is it, Victor?
Maybe there's still something what interferes
in this room? Tell me and I take it out.
Wipers. I forgot remove wipers.
Be back in a minute.
-You don't need anything else, right?
- No, thanks.
Turn off the lights, please.
- I'm going.
- Bring the ladder.
- You told me to wait for you outside.
- Bring the ladder.
- You will fall down again.
- So help me up.
- How much do you weigh?
- 88 kilograms.
I'll go get a ladder .
Mr. Minister. Mr. Minister.
Museum curator from Senlis with his wife
are here.
- What are they doing here?
- They came to dinner, I guess.
Hell.
Do not be so nervous, Victor.
Pull yourself together.
I admire your composure.
Bolt 36, threads. Brace.
It'll end up like last time,
with the torch.
- Help me. Say something.
- What?
- Whatever.
- Victor, my dear...
- No, not that.
- Victor, I love you...
Are you on purpose?
Maybe it's better to turn the light on.
And then I say something...
Who told you that?
- I read it somewhere.
- That's right.
I'll take a walk and come back.
- Camille.
- What?
- I can not.
- Can not what?
- Can't do it.
- Poor thing.
- Have you tried everything?
- Almost... yes.
- And if you do it more macho way?
- Exactly. Exactly.
You!
Whore. Bitch. Bastard.
- I'm sorry, what?
- I said "bitch".
I thought I've heard "bastard."
What is it?
That's her, right?
Hurry.
Victor, in the refrigerator is celery.
They say it helps.
Celery. Why not grated carrots?
In general, I have enough orders.
"Open the window, get a ladder,
take off the wipers, turn off the headlights."
God knows what else.
I'm not a fool, ma'am.
In one night you ruined my career.
- What did I say?
- Always the same.
- Yes, what did I say?
- It's amazing!
This will end:
''What did I say?''
Strange. Marie-Charlotte!
Marie-Charlotte!
Shit! No way!
O God, o my God. Triptych, my triptych.
Where is Marie-Charlotte?
My pearls.
Honey, have you been violated?
No.
Didn't forget anything, kids?
Bags, pencils, swimwear?
Faster. Faster.
Raoul, close the panel.
- Help me.
- Now.
Don't worry about the kids.
In Caracas is Jesuit college.
Catholic education is not like that
in the public schools.
- You're saying my daughters are poorly educated?
- In life anything goes.
We could receive child support,
if mademoiselle got what she wanted...
- Unfortunately!
- I don't understand. It never happened before.
If we want to land in Caracas,
it is time to take off.
- Where are we going?
- To Orly.
But first to a taxi stand.
Forward.
Forward.
The Ministry of Cultural Affairs?
Yes, the Ministry of Cultural Affairs.
So what?
I was asked to bring it here.
For the minister. It's an emergency.
- Is he here?
- Of course!
Spends his nights here
waiting for taxi drivers bringing him...
...antiques or antiquities...
or things that no one longer needs.
Alberto goes to Paris.
''Alberto goes to Paris.''
Very good.
You got tickets to Caracas?
Yes, on all flights.
I don't know what happened to me.
- Where is uncle Camille?
- At work.
That's all I know, Mr. Minister.
I'm just a middleman.
I suppose your experts
already evaluated the first panel...
...which was delivered for free.
Yes, yes, free.
So there is no doubt that this is the original.
As the audacity of youth.
Do you know how much they're asking?
How much?
My clients would like to conduct
the operation in two installments.
The second panel will be
delivered for 500 million.
- 500 million?
- 500 million.
When both sides are convinced that
can trust each other...
...and I don't have doubt in this, Mr. Minister.
The last part of the triptych
will be transferred to you...
...again, for $500 million.
- This is a billion!
That right, one billion.
I was also surprised.
I almost forgot... in small bills.
Yes, they insist on it.
I have to report it to the Minister of Finance.
The amount is significant.
Small bills, Mr. Minister.
Yes, yes, I'm not saying anything.
But still...
I'll call you in the morning, but it seems
that we are already well underway.
Goodbye, Mr. Minister.
- They are serious, Mr. Prefect.
- They are screwed.
Have you ever seen a idiot
to became prefect of police?
If you need a hostage, I...
- You?
- Very good.
There.
- Are you sure they will still show up?
- We catch a big fish, Mr. Lombard.
I throw fishing rod, fish bite, I let her go.
I throw again and again let her go.
And then strike and pull.
I remind you, gentlemen,
that triptych consists of 3 parts.
Until we get the third,
don't make any sudden movements.
- And most importantly, no surveillance.
- I gave the appropriate instructions.
- Good afternoon.
- Come, come, my friend. Put it there.
I was told to handed it
to Mr. Minister in person.
- Yes, yes, it's me.
- Very nice to meet you.
- This is yours?
- No.
Yours Mr. Prefect?
Sorry.
And you don't...
Your task is to perform an examination
on El Greco. Only El Greco.
- Do you have a package for me?
- Of course.
I'm sorry, but I must go.
- Here.
- Thank you.
Are you afraid he'll run off
with the money?
I am afraid that he would lose them.
Damn. I have "the tail"?
- You wanted to run away with the money?
- The cops were following me.
It was us. You haven't recognized us?
Recognized, but I thought the cops
impersonated you.
- Well, let's get out of here. Dame suitcase.
- Prove that it's you?
Damn. Get in.
Sit down.
- Even when you look it's impressive.
- And this is only half of it.
Last night wasn't too bad.
Look.
''Robbery in Senlis.
El Greco stolen.''
''I was home alone, says daughter of
museum's curator. I went to bed early...
...reading the current file:
"Impotent with unstable mentality".
Turned off the light at midnight...
Doors were not compromised
no fingerprints."
It was work of professionals.
Perhaps Americans".
Americans, impotents, crazies...
All lies. It changes everything, Camille!
She loves me. Nobody loved me so much.
Neither Helen nor Jasmine, neither fat Lulu.
For me she is willing to sacrifice
her parents and honor. It's wonderful.
If I understand correctly,
we're not going?
Moment.
We still have to collect 500 million.
- We're not nothing taking anything,
we give it back. - What?
That money wont bring us happiness.
I will return them. Myself.
You will not return anything.
Don't even dare. I'll sh**t you.
k*ll me in front of the children.
Preserve in their memories my light image.
- Where are the b*ll*ts?
- The b*ll*ts?
Don't worry, I will not say anything.
I will not betray our friendship.
They could drive the nails under my fingernails,
put electrodes on my balls...
I'm not saying anything.
I am one of those who's laughing
looking into eyes of executioners.
I'm not laughing. Give me the suitcase
or I mutilate you.
With your asthma, arthritis, tachycardia...
Good, good.
But Raoul doesn't have any of that.
- He has fear disease.
- Not quite.
I came to help you, not to fight you.
And it's better to leave as the friends.
Victor Vautier, I curse you and your relatives
up to the thirteenth generation!
- What is it?
- Open.
Marie-Charlotte, my fate in your hands.
Generosity you have shown,
I will not disappoint you.
No need to light a lamp in my eyes,
fill a bath. I confess to everthing.
Mademoiselle, I want to testify.
I, the undersigned, Viktor Vauthier,
in the night of the 7th...
Victor. Victor, it is better if you think about it
once again.
Wait, he is completely drunk.
Victor, your suitcase.
Love requires sacrifice, mutual concessions.
You were a criminal,
and me - respectable girl.
You now have taken the first step
on the road to honesty.
I also took a step.
In the opposite direction.
When I get out of prison,
I'll be 50 years old, you - 30.
Would you wait for me? Would you resist
the temptation? The man is not stable.
Not as much as the money.
I'm not afraid of temptation, but devaluation.
- Aren't we returning?
- We invest.
I wouldn't dare to propose it myself.
But if we invest, we must be alert.
Notaries and advisors are no longer
to be trusted.
So we put it in the safe.
Have you considered what you can do
with a billion? I've been thinking about it.
- We can build a 200-meter dam.
- Where?
In Mont Saint-Michel.
If we wont build a dam...
...in 50 years Mont Saint-Michel
will become an island.
Do you have 2 francs?
I have no change.
- No, but with a safety pin...
- Go, get a change, please.
Thank you. Here.
Can you imagine that Mont Saint-Michel
on the beets field?
Thank you. I never have thought about it.
Interesting idea.
- Is it yours?
- No, Camille's.
He experienced there some love issues.
Wants to preserve the scenery.
- You get along well with Camille?
- Yes.
A stamp, please.
Thanks.
And to sleep with me while taking El Greco...
was Camille's idea?
Not all his ideas are good.
- Where are you sending it?
- To my office, at the Quai D'Orfevr.
- Why?
- Because it's Camille's idea.
It will be safer, Victor.
At home, Mom is the one
who keeps the accounts.
When Dad needs money, he asks her
and she gives it.
- It continues like that for 30 years
and they're happy. - 30 years?
- Put it in the mailbox, please.
- Yeah, yeah.
30!
We are hungry!
We are hungry!
- Is this right.
- Great. Repeat.
You put painting on the table,
keep calm.
- You have nothing to fear.
- Nothing to fear, nothing to fear...
I tell you there is nothing to fear.
Until you have given the dough.
Because then you should hurry.
I would advise to run as fast as possible.
Of course, if there is sh**ting, I'll back you up.
You said they wouldn't sh**t.
500 million, don't forget.
You will get not 500 million, Mr. Oertel
but 5 years in prison.
What are you doing here?
And you... Aren't you in jail?
- Where's the suitcase?
- Suitcase...
Dear Camille, I'll tell you something,
and it's not because of her.
I know... never mix the personal life
with the professional.
- Do you know where she put the money?
- No.
In the safe.
What?
We are hungry!
We are hungry!
No, no, sit down.
If there's a woman in the house...
- You see?
- Wait. Wait.
You said the money is in the safe?
If I understand correctly,
my money is in her safe?
Yes, money is safe in the locker.
Key is in the envelope.
And the envelope... in my pocket.
Just entered Saint-Louis.
- Le Blanc takes over.
- Here's Le Blanc.
- Let's do it.
- Are you sure that we get them?
Whole Paris is under surveillance.
With this spy-suitcase...
...you will see certainly unequal
but exciting battle with modern policing.
Where are you going?
They told me to bring it here.
For the minister.
Yes, yes. I can say,
they're are waiting for.
Stay here, I'll bring your suitcase.
- What's going on?
- He doesn't want the suitcase, Mr. Minister.
Dosn't want to? We'll see.
What is this?
Why you don't want to take the suitcase?
And what do you do with it?
They gave me 20,000 francs to deliver this.
This is not about 20,000 but 500 lemons.
I mean, million.
No one rejects a suitcase with 500 million.
What is it?
I'll call the cops.
We are the cops. Take a suitcase
and deliver to those who sent you.
No.
Damn. I controll Paris!
4000 men mobilized.
And because of some imbecile,
I lose... 500 million.
- Talk to him about the other 500 million.
- About what?
Those which were never recovered.
Do not you think, it's time to strike?
You are right. That's enough.
I'm tired of this masquerade.
Before, at least
you looked like a taxi driver.
And now God knows what.
Give me that nose.
Comes off?
Mr. Prefect, the phone.
- Hello.
- Mr. Prefect? Do not hang up.
Hello. It's Arsene de Boislambert.
No, I am not a mediator, I'm donor.
Do you have central piece?
Wonderful, is not it?
But your driver
refuses to take the money.
Mr. Prefect, you can live fine
with 500 million.
I think, by wanting more,
we risk to lose everything.
Scoundrels.
Scoundrels.
Thief.
I'm laughing, thinking, what would you do
when I tell you, and I tell you this...
...500 million is not in your safe.
Sorry, Victor, but I can imagine your face...
...when I tell you, and I tell you this...
That money is no longer in the locker,
but in my bank. In my bank.
- I've never met such a dishonest people.
- I can't believe it.
- She has stolen our money.
- I always get caught on confidence.
Victor, it's destiny.
Remember, Mont Saint-Michel,
Antinéa... Our unfulfilled dreams.
Monsieur Ortel, whenever I am alone with Victor...
...you are trying to rob me.
- Please, pull yourself together.
- You ca't build a dam with my money.
- Give her a slap. At the end of the day she's your woman.
First, listen to what I tell you.
I thought that 500 million
would be enough for everybody.
But if you think this is unfair,
I'm going to spend your money...
...under the coconut palms.
And you go back to your wasteland.
You only needed to explain.
Look at our witch.
Drinking "Don Perignon" champagne.
Do you know, how much it costs?
And this old bastard?
Learning to play.
Lesson costs 10,000 francs per hour.
And eating for four.
As for us...
Three times had to ask, to buy a pair of shoes.
I don't even dare to change the tie.
Head spins?
- I'm going to lie down. Are you coming?
- I'm coming.
Soon she will call you with whistles.
You'll see...
- Victor.
- He's coming, coming.
She caught the lion and made the mat out of it.
Assassin! Assassin!
Bully young, and not an old man.
I'm going to disappear, evaporate.
Goodbye, bitch.
Goodbye, Victor.
- Victor.
- I'm coming... dear.
You could have wait.
While the bastards play golf,
sand att*cks the House of God.
Dam will begin here.
Then would turn around...
Around what? There is nothing left.
I just sold your wreck.
- To whom?
- I don't know, a guy who just walked by.
Seriously. Wants to take everything home.
He has a pond.
He'll tell you everything. Comes at 5.
- You should change.
- To what?
Incorrigible (1975)
Moderator: Maskath3