10x01 - They Stooge to Conga (1943)

[bunniefuu]

[♪]

All right,
who's next here, ladies?

We fix anything.

Cut-rate repairing
while you wait.

ALL:
♪ And that ain't all, zoot ♪

[HUMMING]

Pardon me, could we--? No.

[ALL GRUNT]

This is your fault. No--

[GRUNTS] [LAUGHS]

[GRUNTS] [LAUGHS]

Yoo-hoo! Young men.

A customer. Come on.

We would like to--

At your service, babe.
What's cooking?

The doorbell isn't working.
Can you fix it?

Can we fix it? Can we fix it?

Can we? Quiet.

After you, madame.

Oh.

[GROANS]

[EXHALES]

[GROWLS]

[ALL YELLING]

Of all the clumsy idiots.
Beat it, sister.

We don't want any strangers
learning out trade secrets.

MAN: Marcia, Marcia.

Marcia. The tools.

Screwdriver. File.

Nippers. Chisel.

All right,
let's find the wiring.

Heil Hitler. Heil.

Who are those men down there?

They came to fix the doorbell.

Come, come. They might be FBI.

[GRUNTS]

Heil Hitler. So.

We contact the submarine
in one hour.

So?
We bring it to the minefields

by remote control. So?

Then everything goes poof. So?

So then we divide
the world in half.

Of course Germany
gets the biggest half.

Oh. So?

Y-- So what? So.

[HUMMING]

Oh. Stubborn, eh?

[HUMMING]

Oh. A radio.

[CHUCKLING]

MAN [OVER RADIO]:
You want to take the $ ?

Or try for the ?

I'll try for the $ .

All right. Why can't a chicken
lay a loaf of bread?

She ain't got the crust.

You win. Give me, give me. Oh.

Get out of here and take
that radio with you. Get busy.

[MOANING]

[GRUNTING]

[YELLS]

Shortwave?

No, permanent.

[YELLING]

LARRY: Hey, fellas.

I found the wire.

Go on. Give him a hand.

See?

Stand aside.
I'll show you how to fix it.

[WHINING]

[BARKS]

Mm. Tough, eh?

[GROANING]

[RINGING]

This line is busy.

[YELLS]

[YELLS]

[GROANS]

Another one.

Where's the doorbell?
Right up there, sir.

Well, work somewhere else.
I gotta fix it.

But I gotta-- Scram!

[GLASS SHATTERING]

[CLEARS THROAT]

[GROANING]

[DINGS]

Mm.

Live wire, eh?

[GROANS]

Ooh.

Let go of that finger.

[GROANS]

Fix you.

Hey, Larry. Argh!

Come here, give me your help.
Pull this.

[GROANING]

[CLATTERING]

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck,
nyuck, nyuck.

Oh!

Something coming?

It's getting heavier.

[YELLS]

Oh, if I can get at it.

[BLUSTERS]

Oh. A termite with dandruff.

Oh. I got--

[WHIMPERING]

I didn't mean it. Argh!

Trouble ain't in the house.

That's definite.

Power company probably got
their wires all tangled up.

Go on up
and straighten out the mess.

[YELLING]

Wait a minute. What am I doing?

You know I get dizzy
in high places.

You're dizzy in low places.

Get up there. No!

Ooh, ooh, ooh.

Oh, Moe, no, no, please!

Why you-- [YELLING]

[CREAKING]

Ready. Heave-ho.

Heave-ho. Heave-ho.

Oh. Oh. Oh, Moe.

You squished
my nose all out of shape.

I'll fix that. Come on.

Get your nose on there.

Moe. Moe. It's hot. Oh.

Oh. Now, I don't want any more

arguments out of you.
Get up that pole.

Oh. Go on.

Okay. Keep up.

Get up there you.

[GRUNTING]

Oh.

Look out. Look out with
that climbing spike.

Ow! Oh, oh. Oh, my head!

[GROANING]

[CURLY YELLING]

Look, uh--

[SCREAMING]

[YELLING]

Ow! Take that spike
out of my ear!

Ugh. Oh!

Let me at him.

[CURLY SCREAMING]

This is confusing.

I'll have to start on you.

[GROANING]

Ah. Oh.

Oh. Gee, did it hurt?

No, does this? Oh.

Yeah. Ah.

It's from up there. Up there.

Oh.

[GROANS]

[BUZZES, SCREAMS]

[GROANING]

What's the matter?
I'm charged like a battery.

Grab him.

He's full of high voltage.

Yeah?

Hurry, do something, Curly.

[GROANING]

Do something, do something.

Grab that screwdriver.
Put it in his ear and short him.

Ah.

Oh. Thank you.

He's all right now,
boy. Ha-ha-ha!

[HUMMING]

Hello, operator?

My line's been disconnected.

Operator, operator,
what's the matter?

One moment, please.

I'm sorry,
that line's out of order.

Operator. Operator.

Hello, operator.
WOMAN : Operator.

WOMAN : Operator.

I fix it. [BUZZING]

So.

Get Emil on the telephone. Have
him come over and fix the radio.

Right away. Quick. Hurry.

Don't do that. Please.

[HUMMING]

Think I got something now.

What's he up to now?

Hello. Hello.

That line is out of order.

I'm trying to get
that line for you.

Hm, I don't hear anything.

[BUZZES, YELLS]

Yes, sir. I will right now.

[SCREAMS]

Ow! Let go of me.

We better get him. Come on.

[GROANS]

Oh.

Oh. I bet I can get The Lone
Ranger on this. Ha, ha.

Where is that dumpy head?

Hey. Let's take a look in here.

Hey,
what kind of a place is this?

Looks like a rogues' gallery.

[YELLS]

Ooh.

That's Schicklgruber.
We're in a rattrap.

We gotta find Curly
and get out of here.

The way the house is torn up
by those workmen--

Oh. Shh.

Shh.

If we see them we sh**t them
between the eyes.

No, in the back.

[BOTH WHIMPER]

I promise you today
the destruction of the harbor.

Heil. Heel.

[SPEAKING MOCK GERMAN]

Come on, give.

U- calling agent X- .

Oh, stop that double talk.
I wanna hear The Lone Ranger.

Dummkopf.
I'm nearing the minefield.

Take her over.

Ah.

Sabotoogies, Com- 's, spies.

[BARKS]

Ah.

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

So.

Ooh.

[GROANING]

[YELLS]

Heil. Heel.

Ah. It's Moe.

Was that--? Yes, it was.

Open your mouth
and close your eyes.

Ah.

MAN [OVER RADIO]:
U- calling Agent X- .

Calling Agent X- . Listen.

Submarine U- calling.

Enemy submarine.

Take her over by remote control.

He wants us to take over.

What are we waiting for?
Come on.

[BUZZING]

[SPEAKING IN GERMAN]

[BUZZING CONTINUES]

[SPEAKING IN GERMAN]

Success! Success!

Success. Success.

Success. Ah.

FBI, huh?

No, I be Curly.

[GRUNTING]

Hello, Ma. Hello, Pa.
It was a great fight.

[CHIMING]

[♪]