07x04 - Nutty but Nice

[bunniefuu]

[♪]

[PATRONS CHATTERING]

That'll be all right.

[PLAYING FANFARE]

[DRUM BEATING]

ALL: ♪ Our Yankee
noodle soup Is good ♪

♪ You'll find it is no phony ♪

♪ If you don't have
The noodle soup ♪

♪ We'll serve you macaroni ♪

♪ Ha ha-ha-ha Ha-ha-ha ♪

[CURLY LAUGHS]
♪ Ha ha-ha-ha ha-ha ♪

Ooh!

Hiya, doctor.

Hi. What have you today, boys?

Tell him what we have.

Doc, I got a terrific
pain right here.

Every time I squeeze
my Adam's apple,

I can taste cider.

Ooh!

We'll have the merchant's lunch.

Okay. Merchant's lunch on !

Ice water coming up.

This soup is
a marvelous accomplishment.

It's a prodigious achievement.

You're gonna love it.
It's putrid.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

Say, Dr. Lyman,

if we could get these silly
fellows to call on little Betty,

their antics might snap her
out of her lethargy.

That might be worth a try.

Oh, boys,

I'm going to ask you
to do something

that may save the life of
a little girl. Will you do it?

Certainly. What is it?

Well, this is the situation.

This little girl's father
is a bank cashier

who disappeared
with $ , worth of bonds.

Hm. Nice work if you can get it.

The police figure
that he was kidnapped

while delivering these bonds.

But his little girl...

Will someone please
bring back my daddy?

Yes, darling, but look
what the doctors brought you.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Ooh. Lollipops.

I want a lollipop.

Give me a lollipop!

Aw, give us a pop.

Oh, you want a pop? Yeah.

Oh. Oof! Oof!

Mmm.

Ehh.

Ooh!

CURLY: You broke
my lollipop. Aah!

Ooh! Ow! Oh!

[GROANING]

ALL: ♪ The lollipop
The lollipop ♪

♪ The l-l-l-lollipop ♪

♪ Woo woo ♪

A train going to Kansas City
miles an hour,

what's the engineer's name?

I don't know.
What's the engineer's name?

Pat McCarthy. How do you know?

I asked him.

[TRAIN WHISTLES]

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Mary, Mary, quite contrary
How does your garden grow?

With silver bells
And cockle shells

And one measly petunia

A what?

Petunia. Petunia.

Don't you mean
chrysanthemum-um-um?

I mean petunia.

I heard you the first time.

Ooh! Oof! Ooh!

[DOCTORS LAUGHING]

Wasn't that funny, darling?

I want my daddy.

It's no use. Unless we
find the girl's father,

she'll never get well.

Then we'll find him.
But how, gentlemen?

You said the girl and her father
yodeled to each other like this:

♪ Yodel-eh-ee-eh-ee
Yodel-eh-ee-ooh ♪

That's what
the little girl said.

That's all we wanna know.

If he'll answer that yodel,
we'll find him.

Remember, he's years old,
has a bald spot on his head,

and an anchor tattooed
on his shoulder.

And he's ' "
in his stocking feet.

In his stocking feet. Oh.

His stocking feet.

What's that for?

To measure him.

Good luck, gentlemen.

ALL: Goodbye.

Spread out.

Goodbye. Where you going?

To find
the little girl's father.

Goodbye, doc. Goodbye.

No bald spot. Too short.

No bald spot. No tattoo.

No nothin'.

Heads up. Ahem.

Is that the sun up there?

I don't know.
I'm a stranger in town.

"Don't forget.
' " in his stocking feet.

Okay.

[GASPS, YELLING]

[GROANING]

That can't be him. Why not?

He ain't got no stockings on.

He's got his legs on backwards.

Oh, get going.

Hm. ' ".

Ha-ha. It's a midget.

Hey, what are you trying to do?

Don't you believe
in reincarnation?

Reincarnation.

Ugh!

[BARKS] Don't you bark at me.

Get out of there. Oof!

Oh. Bumpin' into people, eh?
How tall are you?

Have you got a bald spot?
Can you yodel?

Crazy people.

See how suspicious he acted?
That must be him.

Let's get him. Come on.

Ohh!

I'm sorry, mister.

Yeah, come on, kid.
We'll buy you some more beer.

Oh, the g*ng's beer.

Oh, come on.
We'll buy you some more.

Hello, hello.
This is Sergeant Cassidy.

Any more news on that
missing bank cashier? Huh?

Yeah, I'll take care of it.
All right.

Thank you, fellas.
You're sure swell guys.

That's all right. I hope
your friends enjoy the beer.

Wait. Look!

Come on!

[GRUNTING]

We asked you a question.
You did?

Yeah. Can you yodel?

Can I yodel?

Have you got an anchor
tattooed on your shoulder?

What's it to you anyway?

Oh, a wise guy.

Oh! Come on, boys, get him.

Lay him up on the corner
and undress him.

LARRY: See if he's
got any identification.

CURLY:
See if he's got any bonds.

Take it easy.
LARRY: Wait for the tattoo.

MOE: Get off the shoe. I got it.

[CLOTHES RIPPING]

No bonds.

No identification.

Oh, yes, there is.
He's a Boy Scout.

Uh-- He's a detective.

Aah! Aah!

[CURLY WHIMPERING]

CURLY: Woo, woo, woo, woo!

I'll get you!

[BUCKETS CLATTERING]

Oh, drunk again, huh?

Come on.
I've had enough of this, now.

Come on.

Come on.

Boy, that was a narrow escape.

Yeah, I'm disgusted.
I'm gonna quit.

Wait. There's no quitting
until we find the father.

Remember that. Start yodeling.

Hold this. Okay.

♪ Yodel-eh-ee-eh-ee
Yodel-eh-ee-ooh ♪

Oh.

Hm.

Who you pushing around?

♪ Yodel-eh-ee-eh-ee
Yodel-eh-ee-ooh ♪

Oh. Hm.

What, is it raining?

♪ Yodel-eh-ee-eh-ee
Yodel-eh-ee-ooh ♪

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

Oh! Woo!

What's the matter with you?
What's the idea?

Mmm.

Throwin' things around
like that, eh?

[CODED KNOCKING ON DOOR]

BUTCH: Hey, Spike,
open up. It's Butch.

It's about time you showed up.

How much longer we gonna
stall around like this?

Quit your squawking.
As soon as the heat cools off,

the boss says
we take him bye-bye.

Then we scram for South America
with the grand.

I'm not waiting.
I'm gonna see the boss.

Okay by me.

Hiya, babe.

[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO]

♪ I'm a cowboy
From the western plains ♪

♪ I hate city streets
And I hate city trains ♪

♪ Yodel-eh-ee-eh-ee
Yodel-ooh-de ♪

It's him! It's him!

It's him! Well, go on.

♪ Yodel-eh-ee-eh-ee
Yodel-eh-ee-ooh ♪

[WHIMPERS, GRUNTS]

♪ Yodel-eh-ee-eh-ee
Yodel-ooh-de ♪

It's him. Quick. Answer him.

Not me. There may be
a loose piano up there.

Why--

♪ Yodel-eh-ee-eh-ee
Yodel-ooh-de ♪

Hey, it's over in that house
over there. Come on.

Hey, what are you doing?

I'm winding up
for a flying start.

Oh, hold that.
Certainly. I got--

So fly. [YELLS]

It's locked. Come on.

One, two,

two and a half. Wait a minute.

Three!

ALL: Whoa!

[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO]

♪ Yodel-eh-ee-eh-ee
Yodel-ooh-de ♪

Answer that, Swiss cheese.

♪ Yodel-eh-ee-eh-ee
Yodel-eh-ee-ooh ♪

♪ France And son of a g*n ♪

[SHUTS OFF RADIO]

Who's there?

CURLY: Termites.

Oh.

A wise guy, heh?

Scram, wise guys.

[SCREAMS]

[BLOWS AIR]

Are you Betty Williams' father?

[MUFFLED GRUNTING]

I don't know who you fellas are,

but I can never
repay you for this.

Tut, tut and tish, tish.

Look. He's handcuffed.

Yeah. It's tied to the bed.

Get up. I got an idea.

Heave. Hup.

We'll have to take
this bed frame apart

and slide it through
the handcuff.

All right, get busy.
Put some beef on it now.

Come on, a little more.

Alley... hup!

MOE: All right, slide it.

[GRUNTS]

Oof! Mm!

What's the idea, always--?

Stop arguing.
It's off, ain't it?

[CLANG]

This one's locked too.
What'll we do now?

Well, you break the arm
off about there,

then you-- You didn't like that?

Well, then we can blast.

Ooh! Grr.

Get out of here. You go get--

[BUTCH GROANS]

Oh. Look.

Bend to fit the head.
Nyuck, nyuck.

We gotta get going.
Drop that. We--

Ow! Ooh!

[CURLY & LARRY HUMMING]

Ooh! Ooh!

Come on.
We gotta get out of here.

Come on-- Oh, wait. My bonds.

Here they are.

See? Thought
you'd get them, huh?

[BARKS] Come on.

Come on. One little-- Aah!

[CURLY BABBLING]

Get back. Shh. Get back.

Here comes the mob.

Quick. Barricade the door.

[CURLY WHIMPERS]

You know,
I got the whole thing--

[MUFFLED SHOUTING]

Hey, somebody's in the mattress.
Quick. k*ll them.

[CURLY GROANS]

I got him.

No, you didn't.

Aah!

[CODED KNOCKING]

Hey, Butch, let us in.

We're trapped like rats.
Speak for yourself, rodent.

SPIKE: Open up, there.

Open up, I said.

The dumbwaiter.

Hey, I resent that.

Not you, the other
dumbwaiter. Oh.

You go down and
send it right back up. Hurry.

Right.

You take care of this. Unh!

Oh!

You flatfoot, you.

Open this door.
Hey! Let go of my head.

Hey, cut it out, huh?
Hey, you're choking me!

Come on! Get out of there.

Get down and send it
right back up.

I'll get you for this.

[YELLING]

Here. Give me that.
Give me some hair.

Nyuck, nyuck.

[GRUNTS]

[GROANS]

Ooh! Ooh!

Nyuck, nyuck, nycuk, nyuck.

[HUMMING]

Huh.

Nyuck, nyuck, nycuk.

I found a file.
Get me out of these, will you?

Boy, they're k*lling me.

Come on. Let's go.
Let me out of this!

Hey! Let me out this! Hey!

So long. Hey!

[BOTH SCREAMING]

[ALL GRUNTING]

Thank God.

What happened? What happened?

What happened? I'll
m*rder you. Look out!

Look out, Moe. Look out!

[WATER SPLASHING]

CURLY: Aah! Moe, Larry!

MOE: What's the matter?
CURLY: I'm drowning!

LARRY: Wait a minute.
CURLY: Get me out!

Help me. I'm drowning.

Moe, Larry. W-w-woo, woo, woo.

Hey, porpoise.

Help me, I'm drowning. I--

Oh, I thought I was drowning.

Come on out of there. Ow!

Ow!

CURLY: Oh. A light.

I'm not gonna walk around
in the dark any longer.

I'm gonna take this with me.
Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

He's haunted.

I got-- Aah, ahh, ahh!

CURLY: I'm sick and
tired of following you.

I'll lead the way.
MOE: Yeah? Well, get started.

CURLY: Okay.
[FOOTSTEPS ON STEPS]

CURLY: Hey, fellas,
I found the steps.

I told you, all you got
to do is follow me, and I'll--

[WHIMPERING]

[CURLY YELLS, CRASHES]

CURLY: Moe? Help,
help! Fellas, I'm stabbed.

Moe, Larry!

MOE: Turn on the light.
LARRY: Just a minute.

There he is. I'm stabbed.

Take it easy, kid. [WHIMPERING]

Oh, I'm stabbed.

I'm dead. I'm m*rder*d.
I'm k*lled.

I'm annihilated.

What'll the world do without me?

What'll I do without myself?

I'm slaughtered.
I'm annihilated. I'm destroyed.

I'm barbecued. I'm done for.

Can you think of anything else?

No, you've covered it all.

I'm not even wounded?
That's what you think.

Ha-ha-ha! Ow! Ooh!

There they are. Get them.

Scatter, boys.

Get away. Get away.

[PUNCHING AND CRASHING]

[MEN GRUNTING]

CURLY: Hey, Moe. Hey,
Larry. I think I got them.

Ah, I took care of you guys, eh?

Nyuck, nyuck, nycuk, nyuck.

Hey, Moe. Hey, Larry.
I took care of them.

I-- Aah, aah!
I took care of you too.

Oh, a candle. Where have
you been hiding all night?

[ALL GROANING]

Nyuh-ah!

[WHIMPERING]

Nyuck, nyuck, nycuk, nyuck.

Ooh!

I'm sorry. I didn't mean it,
Moe. What happened?

Give me that. Oh!

Wake up, you.
We gotta get out of here.

Where are we?

Never mind where you are.
Come on.

[WHIMPERING] Call the police.

ALL: ♪ Home Home on the range ♪

♪ On the range ♪

♪ Where the roasts and the pies
We do bake ♪

♪ Our apple pie's fine ♪

♪ I'll take custard for mine ♪

LARRY & MOE: Oh, custard?

Certainly.

[GRUNTS]

ALL:
♪ And now everything is okay ♪

♪ Oh, it's okay ♪

[♪]