01x18 - Like Voodoo

[bunniefuu]

And it was a brand-new,
custom-built surfboard.

It couldn't have been in the
car more than minutes...

while we were back on the beach
picking up the rest of our stuff.

I keep telling you kids to
watch out for your belongings.

You'll have to make a report
at the sheriff's station,

and I'll keep my eye out for it.

Uh, what was the value?

It made a $ -hole in
my father's bank account.

Grand theft.
Well, we'll see.

I didn't think Casey
had a very bright chance...

of locating my board
from his motorcycle,

so Larue and I b*at it back to the
beach and formed our own posse.

Look, this shoreline stretches
all the way to Canada,

and just a second ago
I thought I saw a Mountie.

Besides, maybe the crook
headed for Mexico. I know, but I...

Listen, Casey said stop by
the sheriff's station.

So why don't we stop by
the sheriff's station?

Okay.

Look!

"Zangara will blind
the evil eye."

My gosh! Not that.
The board.

With a "For Sale" sign on it.
How do you like that?

They've hotted up my surfboard.

Well, you better make
real sure it's yours.

I don't dig this evil eye bit.

♪ If you're in doubt
about angels ♪

♪ Being real

♪ I can arrange to change

♪ Any doubts you feel

♪ Wait till you see
my Gidget ♪

♪ You'll want her
for your valentine ♪

♪ You're gonna say
she's all that you adore ♪

♪ But stay away
Gidget is spoken for ♪

♪ You're gonna find
that Gidget is ♪

♪ Mine ♪

Hey!
What you want?

- The board.
- You, uh, have money?

- Well, it's my surfboard.
- You crazy. Crazy. Go away. Go away.

Go away!

It has my name on it.
It's got my name on it.

Go away! I'll show you!
Grab it!

Drop it!

See? My name.
I told you.

This is my own personal property.
Somebody stole it from me.

No yours!
No one steal!

Uh... See?
See? "Gidget."

That's my name. Bring back! Bring back!
Bring back!

- Let's cut out!
- Bring back! Stop!

You bring back,

or you have very bad luck.

I push hex on it!

What'd she say? She's gonna put
the whammy on it.

Maybe you better talk it over.
Are you dinghy? It's my board!

You bring back!

If I bring anything
back, it'll be a policeman.

Oh! Policeman!
Oh!

Avezuba.

Devil wing. Master!

Overturn her head!

All fortune bad.

No peace, no success...

until she bring back it!

Avezuba.

Curse she as I curse she,

and give no place to hide.

Oh. Looks like
we're home safe.

I probably scared her.

You scared her? When I mentioned
about the policeman.

Or why else didn't King Kong
chase after the board?

Maybe because she whammied it.
Nobody would want a whammied board.

You think this board
is whammied?

I didn't say I think so.
I said he thinks so.

I don't see how anybody
can believe such dumb junk.

I want my balloon!

You ought to be ashamed of yourself,
taking a toy from a helpless child!

It was just an accident.
I'm sorry, little boy...

Oh! Don't you dare
strike this child!

Oh!

He certainly is a sore loser!

You'd think I did it on purpose.

It's beginning.

Don't be a bat!

Oh!

Superstition is the refuge
of small minds,

and I let my buddy-girl Larue
clearly know I thought so.

She didn't hear a word.
All she kept saying...

in an absolutely
exasperating manner was...

Be careful.
You got to be careful.

Will you quit that!

Oh, Larue.
I'm so sorry.

- I told you. You wouldn't listen.
- What'll your parents say?

Well, I'll tell them about the curse
and everything. It wasn't your fault.

It was my fault,
and I'll pay for it out of my allowance.

- Just be careful. You got to be careful!
- You got to be careful.

Yeah.

It's not that I was buying

Avezuba, devil wing
and all that bozzle,

or that the curse of the Malibu
witch was beginning to grab me.

But I figured it couldn't hurt to take
Larue's advice and be a little careful...

since things did, frankly, seem to
be coming a bit loose at the seams.

Daddy, dinner's ready.

I'm serving the salad. What are we having?
I'm starved!

Broiled steaks. And I'll bring you
out some hot coffee right away.

Honey, make mine
iced coffee, will you?

Okay, Daddy.

Daddy!

No, not water!

Get some salt. Salt. Okay! Here!

A lot of salt.
A big box of salt.

Here... Here it is.
Here... Here it is.

Uh...

You must've gotten the steaks
too close to the flame.

Still, I never knew
it to do that before.

I don't understand it.
Do you?

Yes, I do.

I mean, no, I don't.

I mean, I don't know.

Well, that about covers the field.
What do you know?

Daddy, I don't know.
Now...

Now leave me with this mess.
I'll clean it up.

You go sit down,
and... and I'll bring you your iced coffee.

Can't I help you? No!

The voice of logic
was broadcasting frantically.

Don't give up logic.
Surfboards float,

stoves cook, pop-out ice cube
trays never pop out the ice cubes.

This is the voice of logic.

Signing off.

Sit down a moment.

Now, what's bothering you?
Is it what happened in the kitchen?

I guess so. Is that all?

Now, don't try to fool
the old professor.

Come on. What happened today that
makes it different from yesterday?

Well, you're gonna have
a hard time believing this.

Try me. I've been cursed...
by a witch.

She... She cursed me
and whammied my surfboard.

No peace, no success.
That's what she ordered from Avezuba.

Avezuba?
I see.

Have you taken your temperature?

Daddy, this has got nothing to do
with my temperature. This is serious.

Ever since she put on the blast,
I've been skidding around...

on the world's
biggest banana peel.

I knew you wouldn't believe me.

Well, I'm trying to.

Now, let's be orderly about this.
One step at the time.

Where did you meet
this... witch?

Malibu. I see. Is she a local witch
or from out of town?

I never saw her before.

But the only way I can shake loose
is to give her my new surfboard.

Are witches riding
surfboards these days?

No. She stole it,
and she wanted to sell it.

And she's got it.

No, I got it back.
That's what made her go so ape.

Well, I am going
a little ape myself.

Francie, I'm surprised at you.
This is nothing but pure superstition.

And superstition
is pure nonsense.

Don't you know that? Uh-huh.

Well, don't you? Well, I don't know, Daddy.

I mean, I know lots of
people... not kids either...

Who keep good luck charms and are
afraid of black cats and stepladders.

And in those big buildings, why do
they always leave out the th floor?

Don't they know
what they're doing?

Honey, there's a lot
of foolishness in this world.

I couldn't possibly explain all
the goofy things that people do.

That's John's department.
Look how confused he is.

The only thing I'm sure of
is this.

Witches, whammies, curses... There
are no such things. Now, forget it.

You should see
Larue's windshield.

Who's ever around me,
they get sh*t down too. Even you.

Do I look worried?

There's a reasonable
explanation for everything.

Now, come on. Let's get on to
something useful, like having dinner.

Everything's gonna be fine.
Isn't it?

Well, whatever you say, Daddy.

But anyway, I'm glad I told you.

The woman merely frightened you.
Now, come on.

Okay.

I guess I can wash the salt
off the steaks and fry them.

Why not?
Be as good as new.

And meanwhile,
you can sip your iced coffee.

Down with wizards and witches.

Oh, no!

Don't panic. I have plenty
of shirts and trousers.

Or maybe I ought to wear my bathing suit.
What do you think?

But I had a spoon in it.

Plastic.
Plastic doesn't work.

Nothing works.
I'm doomed!

You must not allow this foolishness
to get its hooks into you.

So you had a few accidents. Any other
day, you'd have thought nothing of it.

A glass breaks when you pour
hot coffee into it.

What's unnatural about that?

If it broke without pouring hot coffee into
it, that'd be something to wonder about.

- Right?
- Right.

It's...

Come with me.
Come on.

My old anthropology books.
Look under "superstition."

I'm going upstairs and change.

Twenty-nine.

Thirty.

Thirty-one.

Thirty-five.
Thirty-six.

Pastoo... veedoo...
agrimentee.

Strike Avezuba and lift the hex!

Lama... samana... quana.

Give me the sign.

Lama samana quana.

Give me the sign.

Francie.

Daddy.

If I hadn't seen it with my own
eyes, I wouldn't believe it.

Well, you told me to read
your anthropology books,

and the one on voodoo tells
how they put down a curse.

That book is supposed to be a study
of backward superstitious customs,

not an instruction manual
on how to ride a broomstick.

I figured it couldn't hurt
to give it a try.

They gave me the sign.

It's a sign all right.

It's a sign that you are closer
than you have been in years...

to the unfriendly side
of a hairbrush.

This is all in your mind.
It's all mental.

You've got to get it out.
Do you understand?

Yes, sir. All right.

Maybe I ought to let John
psychoanalyze me, huh?

Maybe you should.

What a blow.

My own father's
turned against me.

I must be cursed
worse than I thought.

John. Yech!

I always thought I'd have
to be out of my gourd...

to let that
brother-in-law of mine

get his psychological claws
into me.

That's it.
Maybe I'm not cursed at all.

Maybe the only thing wrong
with me is I've blown my wick.

Well, what's that
to be so happy about?

Where's the psychologist?

I figured the day I turned myself
in, he'd be waiting here with a net.

John is in the bedroom finishing a
paper he has to hand in this afternoon.

He's been working on it
for weeks.

Well, nobody can say
I didn't try.

I'll call for
a later appointment. Wait.

John is very anxious to see you,
and he'll be through in a minute.

So come on.
Sit down.

The curse is holding.

What's all this nonsense
about a curse?

You know, you certainly do go
off on some peculiar tangents.

Maybe. Maybe not.

We'll see.

What is that supposed to mean?
Just wait and see.

See what? Oh, I don't know.

Something's probably in
the grinder right now.

Wherever I am,
it's Friday the th.

I must say I'm amazed.

How can anyone with half a brain have
anything to do with superstition?

I noticed you have a copper
horseshoe over the door.

What happened to
your half of a brain?

Hey, whose cat?

One of John's bachelor friends went skiing
for a few days, so we're cat-sitting.

His name's Sam. Hello, Sammy.

You have to have a book
to work that?

No. We just got it,
and it has more dials than a jet plane.

But it's really
a wonderful machine.

And John's mother just gave us all of
her trading stamps so we can get a dryer.

Three years' worth.
Wasn't that sweet of her?

Finished it!
pages.

Congratulations.

"The Behavior Patterns
of a Female Gorilla."

- How are you feeling generally?
- Like a female gorilla.

Darling, I baked
a cake to celebrate. Aw.

Looks like Sam
is already celebrating.

Oh, that cat!

Mother's stamps!

What did you do that for?
I didn't do it on purpose.

Well, stop the machine.

I have to look...

What are you reading?
Stop the machine!

I don't know how!
It's all a*t*matic!

For crying...
How can anyone be so stupid?

How do you undo this? Where's the plug?
You have to move it forward.

But don't pull out
the whole thing.

Oh, dear, my dress.

Oh! Look at my kitchen...
and my cake.

And now I'm gonna have to call
the man about the machine.

Who cares about the kitchen?
How will I explain that to mother?

I warned you. Go home!

Why should she go home?
I'm not gonna analyze her in the kitchen.

You better let me go. Certainly not.

If you don't want
more whammies. No. No more.

Not today. Just go. Right.

No!

Look at this.
Five weeks' work.

Are you saying it was my fault?

Who tried to throw the cat
into the washing machine?

- I think maybe I'd better...
Go home!

Right.

You've resented that cat ever
since I brought it into the house.

Subconsciously,
you've wanted to drown it...

just like you wanted to drown
mother's stamps and my female gorilla.

Obviously, I was up the yin-yang

and there'd be no peace,

no success like the lady said
until I gave her my board.

I was convinced.
And so was Larue.

In fact, she wouldn't even
let me in her car.

As usual, Daddy
came through in the clinch.

Dad, are you sure
it's all right?

I mean, you don't mind taking a chance?
I won't be taking any chances.

How can you say that after
last night and today at Anne's?

We've got protection. Oh.
What do you mean?

Well, as our friend
Shakespeare said,

"There are more things in
heaven and earth, Horatio,

than are dreamt of
in your philosophy."

I like to think I'm
broad-minded, so I dropped in...

on my friend Allen,
our Egyptologist.

Egyptologist?

He's an expert at ancient
cultures, especially Egyptian.

He assures me that
these hexes are very real.

Hotep Nefti, the dispeller
of charms and curses.

Let me see.

The only one in existence.

You mean you really
believe me now?

I said I like
to be broad-minded.

And I must say there is something
extraordinary about this little image.

Here.

Close your hand over it.

Go ahead.

There. Do you feel it?

The strength?

So nothing could possibly
harm you.

Well...

Daddy, can I keep this
for a while?

I mean, I won't run its battery
down or anything, will I?

I don't see why not. But if you're
getting rid of your surfboard...

I don't know what to do now.

I mean, if I take
this board in the water,

I may never set foot
on land again ever.

Well, personally I'd put
my faith in Hotep Nefti.

In fact, I'm willing
to take a chance if you are.

You are?

Okay.
That settles it.

Besides, you've got
more to lose than I do.

How do you figure that? Well, it would
be the absolute worst to lose your child.

All I've got to lose is me.
Let's go.

It was like learning
all over again.

The board was scuzzy, and when I saw that
wave coming, I felt completely flogged.

But Hotep Nefti was on my side,
and Daddy was out there watching.

And maybe I had that frosty
old witch outclassed.

All of a sudden, I knew the grind was over.
I had it made.

Boo-wah, Avezuba!
Boo-wah, Zangara!

Hotep Nefti had sh*t 'em down!

I did it!
I did it!

You sure did, baby.
You sure did. Hotep Nefti sh*t 'em down.

Hotep Nefti sh*t 'em down!
Hey, Gidget?

I did it! I did it!

Well, I don't know what you
did, but I know what you didn't.

You didn't give the board to
Zangara, because she's in jail.

She is? I just ran into Casey.

I mean, I almost ran into him. He had his
motorcycle parked in a very sneaky spot.

And he told me three other
boards were stolen besides yours,

and that they rounded up Zangara and
Fernando just a couple of hours ago.

Hello, Mr. Lawrence.
Hotep Nefti sh*t 'em down!

Who? What? Hotep Nefti.

Just a minute. Larue,
would you excuse us a moment, please?

Well, sure.
But what is this Hotep?

Let me have it.

Men used to wear these in their ties.
It's called a stickpin.

You mean that's...
That's not Hotep Nefti?

Whatever you want to call it.
First of all, it's a stickpin. Hmm?

Daddy, I don't believe it.
You lied to me. Not at all.

You told me a famous
Egyptologist gave that to you.

I merely said I dropped in on him.
He has a son your age.

I wanted to see if he'd ever
broken out in a superstitious rash.

He had. Dr. Allen
prescribed the cure.

Didn't you say there was no other
image like that in existence?

My father carved it himself
for my th birthday.

But you said it was a dispeller
of... of curses and charms.

Well, wasn't it?

All right, you win.

So you didn't lie.
But you sure cut a mighty sharp corner.

My dear child,
in academic circles,

that is what is called
applied psychology. Dad, please.

I promise you, if we get one
more psychologist in this family,

I'm taking the next
rocket to Mars.

Well, Daddy's bit of chicanery
proved how foolish it is...

to let superstitious fear
get you in its clammy hands.

I was definitely cured
of all that jazz.

But I must admit,

there are a couple of little things
you simply can't argue against.

I mean, for instance, if you let yourself
be foxed into walking under a ladder,

some absolutely crummy
incident is bound to follow.

So I always make it a strict
rule to walk around any ladder...

and thus avoid the incident.