01x15 - Stand Up and Get Knocked Down

[bunniefuu]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[dramatic music]

[phone ringing]

(female on voicemail) I can't come to the

phone right now. Leave your name and--

[phone ringing]

Hello.

T.J., Michael.

T.J., I'm in big trouble.

What? The joke

I gave you bombed?

- T.J., they're after me.

- Michael, relax.

Give me ten minutes.

I'll see you at the club.

I'm not at Bonkerz.

I'll be dead in ten minutes.

I'm atTenthon Hill.

Michael?

(T.J. on phone)

Michael? Michael?

[dramatic music]

[music continues]

So, Mr. Funnyman, thinking

of doing some more moonlighting?

The only moonlighting

I'm doing is

is working

at your club, Mr. Dexter.

You've got it all wrong.

No, college boy.

I got it right.

You bought yourself a one-way

ticket to the fast lane.

What's that?

It's something

that'll help you go bye-bye.

[dramatic music]

Michael?

Hey, hey, Michael.

Great place for

a coffee break here.

[intense music]

Michael?

[all applauding]

How about that for a start

for this evening, folks?

He's got a real laugh

or not, huh?

Big dude, a real big dude,

I'm telling you.

Don't quite your day job.

I used to date a girl

that was at the..

[all applauding]

Angelyou never heard

of public relations?

There's not much

I ain't heard of, Dexter.

Maybe, you've never

heard of this.

A smile won't crack your face.

That way you won't

scare away the customers.

[upbeat music]

The police will handle this.

You should tell them

about the club.

Michael was my friend.

I'm gonna find out

what happened to him.

Paramedics said

it was his heart.

But that was last night.

This afternoon

the police pathologist said

"dr*gs induced

the heart attack."

This is nuts.

Maybe, but we're

after information.

You be the straight man.

I'll be the comedian.

Okay.

So, you don't mind

if I call Lieutenant Harris?

Just in case he needs

a little advice from an expert.

Clark, we're investigative

reporters, aren't we?

I don't ever wanna be standing

in the way of common sense.

[indistinct announcement]

Be right back.

[upbeat music]

Hey, there.

Table?

Yes, for a friend and a

scared to death contestant.

Come on.

[indistinct chatter]

I just did. I didn't know.

[laughing]

Well, stand up

and give it to 'em.

Thanks a lot, Angel.

Michael told me

you were an angel.

- You knew Michael?

- Yeah, we were classmates.

That's too bad.

He was a nice kid.

Yeah, everybody liked him.

Never made an enemy

his whole life that I knew of.

- Do you know of anyone?

- No, no.

Somebody tell you you're

anything more than a waitress?

I don't take orders from

anybody but you, Dexter.

Okay, then just clean up

the tables, fill up the glasses.

No need to hang out

with some college boy.

Who does that creep think he is?

Just stay out of it, okay?

I mean, for your own sake.

It can be life threatening.

That's what I said, Lana.

We're at Bonkerz.

You must be kidding.

I knew you were gonna say that.

Look, it's amateur night,

and T.J. is a contestant.

T.J.? Oh, I would not

miss this for the world.

- I'm on my way.

- Okay.

Can you do me a favor?

Call Lt. Harris

and have him send a patrol car

down to the club.

Sure, no problem.

I'll see you there. Bye.

[dramatic music]

[intense music]

Ah, that's a nice car.

Who, who owns that?

You've got a long nose, pal.

- I was thinking, it's like--

- What're you doing back here?

I've got a van parked somewhere.

You don't see van

one parked in this lot.

Now..

[dramatic music]

You're up next, kid.

You wanna prepare yourself,

there's a spot

behind that curtain.

[indistinct chatter]

(male #1) Enjoying

yourself? Have a good time.

O-oh, hang on to your patience

for another few minutes.

We'll be right back.

I've already got

a yata-yata-yata.

Really lucky

I never had acne.

Never had facial hair. Just give

and take in every situation.

Red light..

[intense music]

Red light you're seeing..

(T.J.)

You always pretend that..

So, I'll have one

of my boys transfer

what's outside in your car.

No. We don't wanna

transport it.

Deliver that when you

deliver the rest of it.

Okay.

I understand you had a problem

with your boy last night.

No boy of mine.

A college kid

and part-time comic

had dreams of going

into business for himself.

So we put him to sleep.

Permanently.

Hey, you!

I guess, uh,

can't read this line.

He was listening at the door.

Don't you recognize a comic

rehearsing his routine here?

And now, in a few moments

the fantastic new talent

Mr. T.J. White.

He was listening.

Guess you don't like

my jokes, huh?

You'll be on stage

in a few minutes, kid.

You better be funny.

Make sure he meets

his commitment.

Now, folks, coming up next

the fresh new talent,

Mr. T.J. White.

(male #1) He's hot, he's

funny, he's hilarious.

That college boy

you were talking to..

yeah, T.J. White.

Seems kind of nervous backstage.

So, I want you to bring him

a coke, and load it with this.

All of it.

What, are you crazy, Dexter?

That stuff packs twice

the wallop of PCP.

He won't live long enough

to put the glass down.

You'll do it.

Or I'll sting you

like very very much.

And that can k*ll you too.

Please, Dexter.

Please don't make me do it.

Please.

Alright. T.J., the audience

is ready. Are you ready?

- Yeah!

- Are you ready?

Alright, this guy is funny.

He's funnier than

that tie you're wearing.

We're gonna bring him out.

- Here, this might help.

- Thanks, Angel.

Guy that came in with me,

tell him something, okay.

Tell him that..

[people laughing]

(male #1)

Here's the big moment.

Now, how about

a nice round of applause

for my man, Mr. T.J. White.

Come on, give it up.

Hi, everyone.

(all)

Hi.

It's great to be here.

I feel very lucky.

Actually, I'm a very

lucky person in general.

II never had

facial hair or acne.

[intense music]

Hey, I like your shirt, guy.

That brings to mind,

cheap oil paintings.

[music continues]

And black light.

No reason to get upset.

We're in a comedy club, right?

Aren't we lucky?

(Michael)

T.J., I'm in big trouble.

Well, here we all are.

And the bad.

Ugly, I mean ugly.

(Michael)

T.J., they're after me.

I'll be dead in ten minutes.

What are you staring at?

(Angel)

Just stay out of it, okay?

Beam me up, Scotty.

Beam me up.

Uh, jokes, jokes.

We need some comedy.

Tell some jokes here.

Got to be funny.

I got my jokes here.

Ha ha. Jokes.

A refrigerator.

Think about a refrigerator.

I, I have guacamole

and it's green now.

And..

[blabbering]

How come the college boy

isn't taking his final bow?

I don't know, Dexter.

Gave it to him

just like you told me.

Just what I thought.

Don't be mad.

I'll make it up to you.

Not this time, sweets.

Put here in the storeroom.

I'll take care of her later.

[intense music]

Nurse.

Nurse, nurse, nurse!

(Michael)

I'll be dead in ten minutes.

(Angel) It can be life

threatening, life threatening.

And you have a familiar face.

Aren't you here to save my act?

(Dexter) So we put him

to sleeppermanently.

Oh, take my life, please.

(Michael)

T.J., they're after me.

(Dexter)

Permanently, permanently.

[screaming]

Come on, T.J.,

I'm gonna get you out of here.

Man in the mirror.

I saw the man.

Don't try to talk.

Don't talk.

[heart beating]

I saw the man

and the two and everything.

Gotta get you to a hospital.

Since you're so curious,

college boy, I'll show you.

Show you the whole operation.

After you.

[dramatic music]

Take a good look, college boy.

It's the last thing

you'll ever see.

Now, put him in a chair.

So, that's how

you did it to Michael?

Wicked stuff.

Two minutes after

contact with the skin

it's absorbed

into the blood stream.

Too bad, T.J.

We'll never know what you

could've done up there.

Alright, move them.

[alarm ringing]

[dramatic music]

[ringing continues]

- Are you alright?

- I think so.

- T.J., T.J., I'm so sorry.

- He'll be alright.

I checked him out earlier.

I need you to take him

out front and wait for me.

[dramatic music]

Please, please, everyone,

there's no need to panic.

The fire has been contained.

Hey.

[saxophone music]

Run him down!

T.J., look out!

[dramatic music]

Ah, why did I do that?

[siren blaring]

You'll find all the evidence

you need in the trunk, officer.

T.J., T.J.

You okay?

[upbeat music]

Clark didn't tell me

why he couldn't be here tonight.

But you know

how Clark is sometimes.

- I wish Angel were here.

- I know.

She's on the way back.

In a couple of weeks you can

visit her at the rehab clinic.

Yeah.

Now, go out there

and break a leg.

[all applauding]

I'd like to introduce to you one

of the newer upstart here.

Please put your hand together

for my man, Mr. T.J. White.

Thank you, man.

Hi, everybody. I'm really luck

to be here at Bonkerz tonight.

In fact, I'm lucky to be

anywhere, any night.

You are looking at a young man

who has been land mined

trash compacted, dropped off

a 20 storied building

sn*per att*cked,

hurricane abused

mowed over by a limo,

drugged and beat unconscious.

And I'm not complaining

or anything, but I am learning.

[all applauding]

["Adventures of Superman"

theme by Leon Klatzkin]