01x08 - The Fixer

[bunniefuu]

[music continues]

(coach) Alright.

Take a drive..

Get past.

Back in and get going, come on.

Get the ball.

Get the ball.

Hello.

No, it's Jack Nicolas.

Of course this is

Lex Luthor.

Two thousand from [indistinct]

and three thousand

from the archaeology

department.

Well, they should have been

able to dig up more than that.

[chuckles]

Med school, 1500.

Great!

Who'll they think

is betting all this money

against our glorious

Shuster basketball team?

A bookie from Cleveland.

Great.

Great.

Well, Mr. Superstar, first pick

in the basketball draft.

I'll drove you again.

And do you why?

No.

'Cause golf takes brains.

Just like making money

takes brains.

So you leave it to me

and we'll both come out okay.

Please, Lex.

Don't make me do it.

Make you do it?

Make you do what?

- Lose.

- Lose?

You call winning

the money losing?

[Lex chuckles]

You call thrilling

all those people

with your dribbling

and passing..

sh**ting

and rebounding losing?

You call

missing a few extra sh*ts

or dropping a key pass

or-or committing

a silly foul

losing?

I call it human.

You keep the money,

I don't want it.

Splendid.

- Then I can play to win?

- You can do what I tell you.

State beats our

heroic Shuster in the big game.

Giving you a chance

to control your own destiny.

If I tell what I knowyou'll

be out of the game.

Out of luck..

and out of school.

And thenI'm

going to k*ll you.

[dramatic music]

(coach) Get under

that. Hit it! Alright!

Alright.

Come on, Stretch.

That's the way.

That's the way to go.

Get on him.

Get on him, Stretch.

[whistle blowing]

No no no. Time out!

Stretch.

Go sit down.

Take a rest.

Moose, go on for Stretch.

(coach) Okay, guys,

Just keep it going.

[whistle blowing]

What's your problem, son?

No problem.

I can't be perfect

all the time.

Hey, I know that we ask

a lot out of you.

But you always deliver.

Yeah, what if I can't?

What if I'm just playing lousy?

Take it easy, son.

You know, easy for you.

It's not so damn easy for me.

All I ever hear is,

"You can do it, Stretch."

"You can do it, Stretch."

"You can do it, Stretch."

If I can't do it..

Hey, relax.

It's just another game.

Look, forget about

today's practice.

You go home

and get some rest, huh?

I'll talk to you later.

Okay, now look,

I want you to drive, Mikey.

Stretch, what's going on?

Not now, Clark.

You already got

your scoop of the day.

Bit Star's

whining cry baby.

Don't be so hard

on yourself, man.

I mean, you lead

the team all season.

All you have to do is

give it your best shot.

Oh, I shot my best shot

a long time ago.

Hey, I know you.

You'll do great.

Not if I help

that Luthor rat.

[jazz music]

Lex, I'd like to talk to you.

[girls chuckling]

Leo.

I assume

you've come to apologize

for the nasty things you write

about me in the Shuster Herald.

(Clark)

Nasty, but true.

My job's to report the truth,

be it nasty or nice.

That's why I'm here.

What truth

do you seek for?

You are

the resident maker of the odds.

So I am.

Get this down.

Ra-ra-ra.

[chuckles]

Sis-boom-ba.

Go Shuster.

[Leo laughs]

(Lex)

Is that enough?

How about the game where

you're predicting a victory?

There's no doubt

as to the outcome.

- Did you bet on it?

- I never gamble.

What are I do

is invest capital.

And only when

a large return is assured.

What about the game?

Is that a good investment?

That, my dear fellow Shuster,

is privileged information.

It is available

only to the paid up subscribers

to The Lex Luthor Letter.

My financial advisory service.

[telephone ringing]

Hello.

Who?

Lex?

Eh, hold on.

Lex Luthor here.

Well..

Would you excuse me

for just a second?

This is a personal call.

Wait around,

if you'd like.

[music continues]

(Lex) What else can I

tell you, my dear boy?

[click]

No, I think I got

what I came for, Lex.

Good. Well, then, just to show

that there are no grudges

what juicy tit-bit

would you like me

to pass on to your readers?

Perhaps a little

something about..

your friend

Lana's love life.

[Clark laughs]

You crack me up.

That's a joke right.

[Leo laughs]

How'd you get

to be such a jerk?

Great genes, hard work and..

very, very

rich father, Clark.

[Lana clears throat]

Um, Clarkremember

we're playin' a game.

I know.

We have trouble.

Lex and Stretch.

Well, Mr. Hot Shot.

Getting psyched

for the game.

Yeah, the odd couple.

Make that

the odds couple.

Look at me

when I'm talking to you.

Look, man,

just leave me alone.

(Stretch)

Enough's enough.

(Lex)

You will do what I tell you.

Can you stop it!

Do you want to play?

Please. God forbid

I get in your way.

[Lana laughs]

You better not

screw this up.

Because if you do..

[all students laughing]

What happened to Lex?

Oho! Lex. He tried out

the Olympic team.

[all laughing]

Men's synchronized swimming

or what?

You look good, Lex.

Let's go talk

to Stretch first.

- Hey.

- Hi.

(Clark) We're here as friends,

this is an unofficial visit.

Not reporters.

You know, I could use some.

Okay, friends, speak to me.

Don't do it.

Don't do what?

Luthor, man.

He'll never let you go.

How'd you find out?

You were careless.

I-i-it's always as if

you wanted

to be stopped.

Yeah and now I am.

Stopped, finished

and washed up.

Well, can you

tell us about it?

I mean, maybe

we can help.

He kept inviting me

to his parties.

And Lex, he doesn't take

no for an answer.

So I went.

But, you know,

it was fun.

So he started

passing around a joint

and everybody

was taking hits on it.

So what, right? I mean,

even the big judges do it.

Uh, not if they want to be

bigger judges.

I took a few drags..

It's not like you're

trying out for the Supreme Court

well, he showed me some

eight by ten glossies.

Pictures of me

getting stoned.

That's Lex for you.

Never without

his hidden camera.

Yeah. Well, my host,

Mr. Luthor, promised

to make me

front page news.

If I didn't mess up enough

to have State beat Shuster.

Yeah, he always

keeps a promise.

Except when he lies.

Tell me what to do, Clark.

It's your future,

it's your life.

You gotta make

the call.

I'm going to make this Stretch

hotshot look real bad.

I'm fed up with him

getting all the credit.

Let him take all the blame.

They'll be enough blame

for everybody.

What's that supposed to mean?

Nothing for you

to trouble your tiny brain over.

You just play normally

until you get my signal.

Okay.

Great. Great.

Eh, say, how much do you suppose

a corvette goes for nowadays?

[intense music]

[spectators cheering]

(male announcer)

Shuster, 29. State, 32.

Two more points

for Russell.

Shuster, 31.

State, 32.

[spectators cheering]

Basket.

Russell.

- Alright.

- Alright.

- We're dead, Lex.

- Don't be stupid, Leo.

[spectators cheering]

Come on, you Shuster boosters,

let's hear it for the Moose.

(Lex)

Moose! Let's go!

Now Lex is rooting

for Moose in Shuster?

Against his own money?

[spectators cheering]

[spectators gasping]

(male announcer)

Basket. State.

Defense, down, down,

down court. Down court.

(male announcer)

Basket is good.

[spectators cheering]

- Oh, God!

- Moose!

(male announcer)

Basket. Murrow.

State leads.

Okay.

Okay.

Twenty-six.

Twenty-six. Twenty-six.

(male announcer)

Basket. State.

(coach) Oh, take care

of the basket properly.

Take care of the ball!

[spectators cheering]

There's no doubt, T.J.

Moose is in Lex's pocket.

[whistle blowing]

(male announcer)

Bad pass by Moose.

[buzzer buzzing]

There is the buzzer

ending the first half.

[spectators cheering]

We're not playing team ball.

We're not looking

for the open man.

We're not hitting

those offensive boards.

We're not hustling

like we're supposed to.

We look like..

T.J., I'm trying to give

a pep talk here.

And we are making

far too many mental errors.

I don't know what

you're gettin' at Moose.

You're going to be sitting down

during the second half.

Nonetheless, we're only

three points behind.

Now, let's get out there

and play like we can play

and let's do better

this second half, right?

(all players)

That's right!

Right?

(all players)

Right!

Alright, let's get together.

(all)

One. Two. Three.

Team [indistinct].

Let's go.

[players shouting]

[spectators cheering]

What about Stretch?

Nobody defies Lex Luthor.

Not without

paying the price.

Why didn't Moose start there?

- I don't--

- Go check the locker room.

(male announcer)

Basket. Murrow.

State 52.

Shuster 50.

[whistle blowing]

Offensive foul, 23.

Oh, God!

Moose is in there sleeping

like he never was before.

A b*mb wouldn't wake him up.

I knew we couldn't depend

on that Neanderthal.

- So we go with the sure thing.

- Got another backup?

Keep your eye

on the referee.

[whistle blowing]

No basket.

Charge him. 23.

How can you tell me that?

Robbery.

Highway robbery.

Why don't you go sell

a mask, huh, ref?

[whistle blowing]

Time.

(male announcer)

Time out. Shuster.

[cheer girls cheering]

[inhales deeply]

[clink]

If I were a gambler,

I'd have a safe bet.

You're on Lex's payroll

to make sure

State beats Shuster.

- Where'd you get that?

- I can't reveal my source.

But I'll keep it out

of the Herald

if you take that money Lex

gave you to start a new life

and never ever referee another

game in any sport, anywhere.

- Deal?

- Yeah.

Deal.

[instrumental music]

[spectators cheering]

(spectators)

Superboy! Superboy! Superboy!

Students, ladies and gentlemen,

forgive the intrusion.

The referee cannot continue

he's got a crook in his back.

Since I've somewhat

of a reputation for fairness

and I'm

relatively fast on my feet

I'm volunteering to referee

the remainder of the game.

[spectators cheering]

Superboy!

Are there any objections

from the coaches

or the players?

No?

Let's play ball.

[whistle blowing]

[spectators cheering]

Alright!

[whistle blowing]

(male announcer)

Basket. State.

State leads by two.

[spectators cheering]

Basket. Russell.

Score tied.

Didn't I tell you?

Didn't I tell you it was okay?

[whistle blowing]

[spectators cheering]

(male announcer)

Basket. Shuster.

(male announcer)

Eleven seconds left to play.

State leads.

71-70.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Now we take care

of Stretch.

Get these down

to the press table

and let the world know

what a doper he really is.

Lex, we're gonna win.

There's only

a couple of seconds left.

- Why not leave Stretch alone?

- Just get going.

(male announcer)

Time out. Shuster.

[intense music]

Must have been

pretty hot pictures, huh, Leo?

[cheering continues]

[whistle blowing]

(male announcer)

Only nine seconds left.

Eight. Seven.

Six. Five.

Stretch gets

this shot off.

He's got the shot off

before the buzzer

so it'll count

if it drops.

[buzzer buzzing]

It's through the hoop.

Basket is good.

Shuster wins!

72-71.

[upbeat music]

[whistle blowing]

Congratulations to State

for a well played

hard fought game.

[spectators cheer]

And congratulations to

Shuster for a well played

hard fought victory.

I've been asked to announce

that the game ball

is going to a non-player.

Lex Luthor.

Where are you, Lex?

For your tireless efforts

in researching the game..

and for your valuable

numbers and statistics.

Congratulations, Lex.

The students and faculty

would also like to thank

Lex Luthor for his

valuable contribution

of $5000 toward the purchase

of a new computer

to help keep

the team stats.

Thank you, all.

[spectators applauding]

What a parley.

Not only did Lex

lose all that money

but Superboy squeezed

in extra five big ones out.

- What a justice.

- Yeah.

Superboy made it all

come out even.

He has a sense

of symmetry and..

sense of compassion

and a sense of humor..

and purpose

and dedication--

If Lana had

a dictionary for once.

Clark, hi!

- We won.

- I know.

Where were you?

I was in the locker room,

I heard it on the radio.

Coach kicked Moose

off the team.

He was asleep

in the dressing room.

Phew!

Ha, that's great.

Lex is going

to take it out on Stretch.

No, I made a deal

with Lex.

He destroys the negatives

that he made

of Stretch's dumb escapade.

And we destroy

the video that you made

of him enlisting Moose

to throw the game.

Hey, what video?

The one you were

going to make, if we needed it.

That's wonderful.

I'm really proud of you, Clark.

Even I can

jump over tall buildings.

Well, I bet Superboy

can do more than that.

Like run faster than

a speeding b*llet?

I think you're

jealous of Superboy.

Oh, right.

Me jealous.

- Yeah, you're jealous.

- Nah-h-h!

[theme music]