01x06 - Bringing Down the House

[bunniefuu]

[crowd cheering]

Strike!

That pitcher got a delivery as

pretty as anything I've seen.

And an iron arm too.

[crowd cheering]

Hey, alright!

Now, that's baseball, huh?

[crowd cheering]

Time!

[crowd applauding]

What's that thing

on the field, the mascot?

(male #1) That guy costs us a

$100 each game. But he's worth it.

Yeah, well, all he ever does

is hold up the action.

What's he doing?

(male announcer) Now, batting

for Shuster, number 16.

[crowd cheering]

(male #2) Attention!

Attention, everybody!

You are in danger. A b*mb

will explode in 30 seconds.

This is your

only warning.

Leave this complex

immediately.

How about us

getting out of here?

I'm not letting any weirdo

chase me off my job.

Besides, they're bluffing.

[ominous music]

Come on. Let's play ball.

Maybe it'll calm down

the crowd. Come on!

(male announcer) Stay calm, please!

Keep to your seats, everybody.

The game will continue.

[engine revving]

[intense music]

[crowd cheering]

[shrill squeal]

[crowd cheering]

Come on, let's play ball.

Where'd he go?

Coach says I'm to

pinch-hit for you.

Go get 'em.

(male announcer) Substituting

for number 16, number 7.

Come on!

Clark?

[crowd cheering]

He he!

[expl*si*n]

# I'm glad they came along #

# I dedicate this song #

# To all the girls

I've loved before #

- Beautiful, Clark. Beautiful.

- That was splendid.

Oh, what are you guys

doing here?

Oh, man!

Okay, Clark, I said a level,

not an audition.

- Everybody's a critic--

- Hey, let an expert try it.

Uh, the Boardwalk

and Baseball amusement park..

(Lana)

T.J.!

when homerun hitter,

Clark Kent slammed a b*mb

out of the stadium,

thereby preventing

injury and possible death.

(Clark)

Okay, T.J., that's enough.

- Hey, there's Judd!

- 'Hey.'

Mr. Faust, Clark Kent,

Shuster Herald.

- Judd.

- T.J. White.

Alright. Can I get

one more shot there?

Uh, one's my quota

for the day.

The sound crew.

(Clark)

And of course, uh, Marilyn.

Hi.

- Betsy.

- Hi.

- Susan.

- Mm-hmm.

And Lana.

- I really love your music.

- Thank you.

(Clark)

Judd's in town to get his

honorary masters degree

in music.

And he's graciously agreed to do

a concert for us, student body.

Well, it's the least

I could do for my Alma mater.

- Judd, ready when you are.

- Oh, great. Let's go.

- Excuse me.

- Yeah.

Testing one, one.

# Love can leave scars

that may never show #

# A one-sided heart

can just be physical #

# Is this love physical #

It's okay?

Wow, isn't he great?

Anyway, after I retired

from baseball

I signed on here

as manager of this park.

Anything else

I can tell you?

Yeah. Why the

bombing yesterday?

Oh, there are

bunch of incidences.

The b*mb was the first

Major League scare.

Couple of weeks ago

all the refrigeration units

in the cafeteria blew out.

Spoiled about $10,000, $12,000

worth of hotdogs and ice cream.

And the inspector said

that was no accident.

Come here, let me

show you something else.

Not exactly

the Mississippi, is it?

You know you can't have

flume rides without water.

And you can't have water

if somebody sabotages

your water pumps.

Andy, you must have some idea

who, who's hassling you.

About a month ago,

I got a visit from this guy

who says he's a representative

of a conglomerate that, uh..

in-interested

in buying the park.

(Andy) And not only that, but

he's offering a pretty good penny.

I said to him,

"Forget it, fella.

People who own it aren't

interested in selling."

He says to me

like he didn't even hear

what I said, "They'll sell."

And two days later,

that's when the mischief began.

[shrieks]

He didn't make it.

He's still hanging down there.

[indistinct chattering]

This looks like fun.

How about it, huh?

We're here as reporters, T.J.

Hey, I didn't suggest we

dive off the Golden Gate Bridge.

I'm sorry.

- It bothers you, doesn't it?

- It doesn't bother me!

- Yeah.

- Maybe it bothers me.

It's not like I've

a right to be upset.

Say that again.

Wanna etch that in my brain

for future generations.

[whimsical music]

Hey, guys!

- Hey.

- Hey, guys.

Didn't know you guys

were coming here today.

Ah, neither did we.

You guys wanna hit

the Ferris wheel?

Thanks, Judd. I think

we're gonna go--

I accept for

the two of us.

Great.

- Beautiful, isn't it?

- Mm-hmm.

I collect matchbook covers

from all around the world.

Take a look at it.

It's unique.

[pleasant music]

(male #2) Attention,

everybody! Attention.

You are in danger.

Another warning. Lights out.

Andy, we're cutting in

the backup generator.

You again?

Do you even know what

trouble you've caused me?

[intense music]

Our last and final offer.

Get away from me.

[music continues]

You senile old fool!

You should've taken the offer.

I'm going to call the police.

(T.J.) What a mansion! But

do we need a tour of it?

Please try

not to touch anything.

Follow me and I'll show you

my comic book collection.

Oh, Judd, you're terrific.

I mean for having us all here.

But a little weird..

I've been collecting comics

five, six years now.

They're great.

Totally cool.

Yeah, I can sit

in here for hours.

After a most unusual lunch,

Judd Faust took us for a tour--

I mean, you could do ten columns

on his collections, huh?

Obsessions

of the rich and famous.

[laughing]

Yeah, it is

kind of weird.

What did he have in that

last room? A 150 neon signs?

I stopped counting

after I went color-blind.

(Lana)

Would you guys come on?

(Judd) This is my

favorite collection.

# Some would say #

# That falling in love that

makes the flame of each other #

# Run away #

# But I say #

# You don't talk

in the same way #

# You seem to know that's

the fast way to my heart #

# Give me a thousand words #

# You gotta send out the message

for love to be heard #

# Hey baby #

# We need a translator #

# Somebody to say

Parlez vous Francais #

# That way #

# I won't lose the meaning #

# When you speak

the feeling in your heart #

# Give me a thousand words #

[car revving]

[intense music]

[shrill squeal]

(man on recorder)

Attention!

Attention, everybody.

You are in danger.

Serious danger, pal.

Now, turn it off.

Are you crazy?

This man is my guest.

Clark, please forgive him.

He's my manager.

He probably thought you're

a burglar. Didn't you?

Yeah.

(man on recorder) A b*mb

will explode in 30 seconds.

An offer was made to buy

Boardwalk and Baseball.

When it was refused, a b*mb was

detonated evidently by your man.

It appears he was

acting on your orders.

It would certainly seem so.

Is this your equipment?

Did I have anything to do

with your outrageous acts?

No, Judd.

No, no.

I'm gonna have to call

the police, Charles.

No.

(Judd) Operator, will

you get me the police?

Will you please

go in the house?

Clark, will you please

join the others?

Hello, police,

this is Judd Faust.

# What I want is stimulation #

# Coming from this heat #

Wasn't Clark supposed

to be here?

He went to tell Andy

that Charles

the guy who's been bothering

him, he's in jail now.

# Love can leave a scar

that will never show #

[intense music]

What's goin' on?

Getting drunk on the job?

Ha ha ha.

Violating your trust as

manager of this glorious park.

Causing the death

of innocent people.

[chuckling]

How happy your employers

are gonna be

to get rid of this

hard-luck property.

[laughing]

# Love can leave a scar

that will never show #

# A one-sided heart

it gets me physical #

# Is this love physical #

# One thing I insist #

# Life is about this #

# So tell me is it

love or is it sex #

[crowd applauding]

- Did you like it?

- Wonderful.

Almost a perfect day.

I'm gonna make it perfect.

Andy?

[theme music]

[screaming]

Are you okay?

Oh. I've been banged up

worse before.

Are you sure

you're okay?

As long as I never

see that guy again.

I thought

he was in jail.

What the..

(Charles)

Hey, put me down!

[screaming]

There's one last collection

I'm gonna show you.

Only special girls

get to see this, Lana.

[sighs]

You collect,

umtorture instruments?

(Judd)

No.

I collect the screams

of t*rture victims.

[screaming]

[mumbling]

Cut it out.

This isn't funny.

I don't like

this game, Judd.

- You'll get to like it.

- Judd!

- Where is Judd? Isn't he here?

- No.

Bet Andy was happy when you told

him that Charles is in jail.

He is now. Charles tried

to k*ll Andy on Judd's orders.

Let's call the police and let

them take it from, from here.

- What's the matter?

- It's Lana. She went with Judd.

Hey! Hey, wait for me.

Stop the instruments.

It's k*lling me.

I can't imagine the exquisite

pleasure you are gonna feel.

That we'll both feel.

When I put this

to my digital sampler

my next album

will be perfect.

[Lana screaming]

And that's..

Excellent. Excellent.

[Lana screaming]

Not quite as good as

the other three.

Put force.

Excellent. Excellent.

[screaming]

Two more twists.

(Lana)

Superboy, no!

(Lana) Judd said something like

not as good as the other three.

What happened to them?

You don't wanna know.

Yeah, I do.

The police found them.

They were buried

in the basement.

He's a collector alright.

Weirdo collector.

You know, I don't understand

the amusement park thing.

Why did he want

that so badly?

The police psychiatrist, he said

that he wanted it so badly

because he couldn't have it.

I guess an extreme

recession like that

can make a weirdo

out of anybody.

[theme music]