Anyway, presents
for the first anniversary
are supposed to be made
out of paper, you know?
And tickets for a show are
made out of paper...right?
So guess what I'm doing?
I'm giving Abby
two tickets for a show
for our first anniversary.
- Isn't that smart?
- Mm-hm.
Hello, there!
Can I have, uh, two tickets for
Sunday night? The best you got!
Maybe you'd like me
to throw in a couple of passes
to the next
presidential inauguration?
Buddy, "A Chorus Line"
is the hottest ticket in town!
Oh. You mean
you don't have any?
Zero! Zilch!
'The best I can do for you is
to put you on a waiting list'
'for the last weekend
of the run.'
'Of course, you're already over'
' names on the waiting list,
but..'
I-I'm thinking
of starting a waiting list
for the waiting list!
Oh, no. Forget it.
Thanks, anyway.
Well, dad...maybe if you put
your name on the waiting list
you can use those tickets
for your next anniversary.
No, the show won't
be here then.
They w-wouldn't be
any good, anyway
'cause the second anniversary,
it's supposed to be cotton.
You mean each one
is different?
That's right. There's paper,
and then cotton
and the third one is, uh..
I forgot.
But, anyway, they-then
it goes into metals.
Tin, and the-the
twenty fifth one is silver
and guess what the
fiftieth one is. Gold.
Gold?
You mean on your
th anniversary
we have to buy
you gold presents?
In years.
Well, then it wouldn't be
too early to start.
- Start what?
- Increasing my allowance.
[theme song]
♪ There's a magic ♪
♪ In the early
morning we've found ♪
♪ When the sunrise smiles
on everything around ♪
♪ It's a portrait
of the happiness ♪
♪ That we feel and always will ♪
♪ For eight is enough ♪
♪ To fill our lives with love ♪
♪ Oh we spend our days ♪
♪ Like bright
and shiny new dimes ♪
♪ If we're ever puzzled ♪
♪ By the changing times ♪
♪ There's a plate
of homemade wishes ♪
♪ On the kitchen windowsill ♪
♪ And eight is enough ♪
♪ To fill our lives with love ♪♪
[instrumental music]
[engines rumbling]
Ah, thoughts on my anniversary.
I don't have any!
Ah!
Aw, I guess.. I guess this kinda
happens when you get old, huh?
'Ideas just...dry up.'
It has nothing to do with a..
I'm not getting any older
I just have
the Monday morning blahs.
I know.
Okay, maybe this will help.
Remember the, uh,
article you wanted to do
about the old people
at the beach?
- Yeah.
- Take a look.
Oh. That's
hardly inspirational.
Oh. Thank you.
Wait a minute. Hold it!
Just a second. Look at this.
Do you see this guy,
the roly-poly one?
Yeah, what about him?
He owes me bucks.
'You loaned $ to a guy who
looks like a walking bad debt.'
(Tom)
I didn't loan it, exactly.
Don't you remember?
His name's Sam Harris.
Nicholas caught him stealing
all our Christmas presents
but let him get away
then we found him
and had him arrested.
(Donna)
Of course, and you got
talked into bailing him out.
(Tom)
Every time I think about it,
I get a pain in the back.
Right where I keep my wallet.
Aren't those ours?
[dramatic music]
- Hello, Santa Claus!
- Hello, yourself, Danny boy.
My name's Nicholas,
just like yours.
- Ain't that nice?
- Yes, sir.
Ho, ho, ho!
- Stay where you are!
- Yeah!
Yeah..
Oh, well, I-I-I-I
wasn't expecting company, uh..
I'll just go put the kettle on.
Oh, no, you won't!
No, you won't!
What a nice surprise.
[sighing]
The trimming does seem
a little skimpy, don't it?
Come on, old timer.
Let's go.
Are you gonna
put him behind bars?
Uh, yes,
but it's a very nice cell.
Yeah, but remember,
He has one phone call, you know.
He's gotta call his lawyer.
I should know,
I was in jail once before.
- You were?
- Sure.
Just play it cool, so they won't
slap any more charges on ya.
Come on, Santa Claus,
let's go.
Oh, I thought you wanted
to go celebrate Christmas!
Come on, give me a break,
will you?
We'll all be eating
Christmas dinner
while poor old
Santa's in jail.
[clamoring]
(Susan)
'I remember Sam Harris.'
He lives in Mission Beach,
San Diego.
I thought he went to
that place in Mexico.
Cursi-varchi..
Uh, Nicholas,
it's Cuernavaca.
Oh, well, whatever
that place is in Mexico.
- Right.
- Yeah, I'll tell you what.
He probably conned
some poor sucker
for the money to come back.
Yeah, he stole the money
to come back.
I'm gonna tell you somethin'
his stealing days are over.
- What are you doing?
- Dad, you wouldn't--
- Aww!
- You wouldn't!
I would and I am!
Dad, wait a minute.
For what?
The man stole our Christmas.
He ran off with the bail money
we put up for him
never returned the stuff
we gave him.
Besides, he's a fugitive
from justice.
- And he's Santa Claus!
- Yeah.
- And you're a bunch of patsies.
- Yeah, we all are.
Listen, I tell you
the only reason I'm
doing this is because
he's down in San Diego,
and not here in Sacramento.
- Yeah.
- That's right, dad!
[indistinct chatter]
Where are you
gonna hide the decorations?
In my closet,
under the ironing.
Which Abby said could sit there
until I did it myself.
It's safe.
Okay. Um, what about the cake?
It's ordered. Decorated like
the front page of The Register.
And the headline reads
"Flash! Abby and Tom Bradford
have been married a whole year!"
All of that?
Well, it's a big cake. We're
havin' people, aren't we?
Ooh, is that the final count,
Mary? Thirty people?
Hey-hey, cool it,
here comes Nicholas.
Oh, no..
- What's going on?
- Nothing.
- Not a thing.
- Yeah.
How come you didn't invite me?
- Nothing's going on, Nicholas.
- Yeah, we were just talking.
You guys have been
talking for days.
Uh, well, it's about
grown-up stuff, Nicholas.
You'd just be bored.
I'm almost grown-up!
Um, it's like..
...you'd have to have
been here from the beginning
Nicholas, you know?
It wouldn't make sense.
Right. Uh, see,
it really doesn't matter..
I-it's just unimportant
so why don't you go and
have a good time, okay?
- Yeah, go ride your skateboard.
- Right.
- Poor kid.
- Yeah.
If he wasn't
such a blabbermouth
we could include him
in on everything.
Oh, yes, I know..
"A Chorus Line"
is a hard ticket to get,
but that's why
it's such a great
anniversary gift for my husband.
A waiting list? Well, how
far down on the waiting list?
Oh, no.
- Abby, all the kids are--
- L-later.
No, no, no, no, not "you later"
I-I-I was talking
to someone else, see.
Well, yes,
I-I think it is important
since it's my anniversary, yes.
A waiting list
for a waiting list?
[sighing]
Can I talk to you?
In a minute. This is important.
Forget it.
Oh, wait a minute,
Nicholas, I-oh..
Oh, hello? Uh...is this Penny?
Yeah. This is Tom Bradford.
Did you get me those "Chorus
Line" tickets for Sunday night?
You didn't?
Oh, what kind of a scalp are-are
you, anyway?
Oh, no, don't give up!
No, no, please don't give up!
Uh..
[engine rumbling]
Well...it's a great day
for skateboarding, huh?
Who says?
- What's wrong?
- I don't know. Ask them.
- Who?
- All of them.
They're all up in Mary's room,
planning something
and they won't let me
plan it, too!
Oh.
They never let me in
on things, David.
They act like I'm
not even their brother.
No, no, Nicholas,
it's not that, it's..
...well, it's grown-up stuff,
and you'd be bored.
They told you about it,
didn't they?
Well, yeah, but..
And you don't even live here!
I know! But I am
a member of the family.
Well, you're a member
of the family, too
of course, but, uh..
That's what you're
here for, isn't it?
That meeting upstairs?
And you don't even live here.
Everyone's invited, except me.
Tell you what.
I'll check it out, and I'll
see if I can get you in. Okay?
Come on, David!
We're waiting for you!
We'll talk about it later, okay?
[sighing]
Sure we will.
[melancholic music]
You're the only ones in
this house who don't hate me.
[instrumental music]
Hello, Benny? Are you this...
the man who gets the tickets?
Oh, good. Really, yeah.
Um, "A Chorus Line."
No, I don't want
any other show.
And it's for Sunday.
Th-this Sunday.
Well, if you should
get two tickets..
Okay. Why do you need my name?
Oh, it's um...Abby.
Um, Abby...Doe.
That's "D-O-E."
No, um, Jane Doe's my sister.
- What's wrong with you?
- Everything, Irving.
- That's a lot of things.
- I'm at the end of my rope.
You get docked of your
allowance or something?
No, worse. They're all
ganged up against me.
- Who is?
- My whole family.
They're always leaving me
outta things.
And nobody will talk to me.
- What are you gonna do?
- I don't know.
- Maybe I'll disown them.
- Good idea.
- Oh. It's only you.
- I live here.
Hey, would you shut the door?
You want 'em to see this?
Have you gotten a picture
for the album yet?
No.
Well, you're the only one
who hasn't contributed.
And the only one
who doesn't have a camera.
And the only one that
nobody lets me use his.
Oh. Well, have you
figured out
what you're gonna
get the folks?
No. I can't think of anything.
Can you?
I did, the album.
No, I mean for me, Tommy.
Please?
Nope. Just think paper.
It has to have something
to do with paper.
You mean it doesn't
have to be paper
it can be about paper?
- Sure, why not?
- What's that?
(Tommy)
'Scissors.'
(Nicholas)
'No, the thing that holds paper
down, so it doesn't get messy.'
Oh, you mean a paperweight?
Yeah, that's what I'll make!
A paperweight!
Hey, good idea!
Would you shut the door?
[sighing]
[engines rumbling]
So, what you guys
want me to do..
...is scuttle tickets
for "A Chorus Line?"
"A Chorus Line?"
Well, you're just gonna
have to cancel them.
No, Nancy, no, wait a minute.
I didn't know that.
Maybe if dad can get tickets
for A Chorus--
I-I-I mean I doubt if he can
he's been trying all week,
and, you know.
Well,
if they should come through
maybe you could make
a mistake happen. You know.
- 'But for a different night.'
- No, I don't know, Nancy.
I mean, he would be lucky
to get those for any night.
- Right.
- Come on, Joannie.
We're tryin' to
organize a party.
- Now, listen, Donna.
- Mm.
It's really important
that you--
Get dad and Abby
out of the house!
You're going to
take them to dinner.
Right. Then,
you'll all get into your car
and you'll drive off
to the restaurant.
Taking your time.
And then,
just before you get there
you'll realize that you left
your beeper in your own jacket.
Which you will discover
it was torn,
while you were at our house.
Uh, but just a seam, you know.
I'll sew it up afterwards.
So, you'll have to borrow
a jacket from dad, see?
Right, and you have to go back
to our house to get it.
But he has such
terrible taste in clothes.
Take your time on the way back.
Right, and when you get
back to our house--
The people will be there,
the decorations will be up..
Surprise!
[telephone ringing]
Hello? Who?
Oh, oh, yes! Benny, yes!
This is Mrs. Doe.
You do? This Sunday? How come?
He didn't? Foolish man.
Yes, of course, I want them.
Fifty dollars each?
I'll take them.
[instrumental music]
- You gonna work on the album?
- Nope, I'm puttin' it away.
Good, then you can help me
with my paperweight.
Uh, sorry, but somebody else
needs my help tonight.
Who?
The incomparable
Wendy Springer.
I thought she wouldn't
go out with you.
Well...she was just playin'
hard to get.
Besides, I got
a definite "maybe."
I was hoping you'd help me.
Hey, you don't need my help.
You know how to use that thing.
Yeah, but not alone.
Everybody would hold
the things for me.
Yeah, but that's just when
you were a little kid!
[instrumental music]
[knocking]
- Oh, what is it, Nicholas?
- Can somebody help me?
Uh, not right now.
We're all busy.
[melancholic music]
[music continues]
Everyone will have an assignment
and the minute Dr. Max gets
dad and Abby out of the house
we'll be "all systems go."
Right, and then,
by the time the guests arrive
we should be all set up, right?
Right, as long as..
Will somebody help me?
Uh, no, right now I have to get
these dishes done, Nicholas.
- Right.
- After?
Uh...no, not after, Nicholas.
We have some
important things to do.
So do I.
[crackling]
- Nobody'll help me.
- Oh, please, Nicholas.
I have to make a deadline
with this column.
So does everybody else.
Nobody cares.
I don't have any friends
in this house. Just relatives.
Nicholas..
Nicholas? What was all..
[dramatic music]
Is something burning
in the kitchen?
No, we thought
it was out here.
No, it's upstairs!
[music continues]
Dad, I think something' burning!
- I know.
- What?
You guys,
is something burning up here?
- Yeah!
- No, no, no, don't open it!
- Feel the door.
- It's alright, it's cold.
I don't know.
[indistinct yelling]
Don't open it!
The fire will blast out!
Tommy, Nicholas,
are you in there?
Tommy!
[shouting]
- 'Tommy, are you in there?'
- 'Tommy!'
[crackling]
It's dangerous,
are you in there?
We have to open the door.
(Tom)
'Tommy! Nicholas!'
Alright, everybody
get downstairs.
Go, go, call
the fire department.
- Come on! My medical books!
- No, you--
Please, Abby, please!
[coughing]
[indistinct shouting]
- Nicholas!
- Where are you?
Uh, yes, sir.
The name's Bradford
and-and it's a bedroom
on the second floor.
- We're leaving right now.
- Mary, he's not there!
- Where are you?
- Nicholas!
[coughing]
Tommy! Nicholas!
[crackling]
Tommy! Nicholas!
Are you in here?
Fire, fire! Everybody out!
Nicholas, Nicholas,
where is Tommy?
He's on a date
with Wendy Springer!
Abby, they're not
in their room, they're okay!
Aah! Tom, please, they're
alright! Get out of there!
'Please, Tom! Tom!'
Come on! Tom, please hurry up!
Come on, please!
- I have to put the fire out.
- No, Nicholas--
The Fire Department's comin',
okay?
But I have to help!
Nicholas,
you've already helped..
Oh, Nicholas, thank goodness!
Come on!
- Through the back way!
- Come on!
[siren blaring]
[crackling]
[indistinct radio chatter]
It's upstairs..
- Dad!
- Dad!
He's okay, he's okay,
come on.
[indistinct radio chatter]
Sit down. Sit down. Sit.
(Joannie)
'Are you okay?'
[hissing]
[indistinct radio chatter]
[coughing]
[indistinct radio chatter]
Lucky you all got out.
I brought the hose in
the minute I saw the fire.
Good for you, son.
You were very brave, Nicholas.
Aw, they just teach
all that stuff at school.
Any idea how it started?
No.
Captain!
Well, here's our culprit.
This and whoever was usin' it.
(Tom)
'Let me see that, please.'
Nicholas,
was-was Tommy using this?
No, sir. I was.
What for, Nicholas?
I-I can't tell you!
But I was real careful.
But you know you're not
supposed to use this
unless somebody's helping you.
I went around looking
for somebody to help me.
But nobody would!
Everybody was busy,
and nobody would help me.
[birds chirping]
[indistinct chatter]
The fire didn't ruin,
the water did.
Everybody in this whole family
worked on this album.
Everybody but you.
So you wouldn't care
if it got ruined.
Leave him alone, Tommy, okay?
What do you think, David?
That the insurance company
better come through, like, uh..
...huh, a house on fire.
Or you're gonna be
in hock up to your neck.
It's nice to have someone
who knows about construction
for a son.
The labor I can
give you for nothing
but materials are
not that cheap.
Nicholas, look what I found!
I just got it all scratched up
where I wanted it.
But well,
it's not ruined or anything.
It just needs a new cover.
I can fix it for you.
Don't do me any favors.
Or they'll all
hate you, too!
[melancholic music]
Well, you can move in
with some of the girls
and then we could
put the boys in here.
Oh, no. Uh, none of our beds
is wide enough for two people!
Yeah, dad. I don't wanna sleep
in the same bed with Nicholas.
He hogs all the blankets.
(Tom)
'You'll have to, Tommy,
until your room is redone.'
'I mean,
y-you can't sleep downstairs'
'it's too uncomfortable
for two weeks.'
(Tommy)
'Well...can't I move in
with David?'
(Tom)
'Well, that's up to him.'
(David)
'Well, I guess I could
put up with Tommy.'
'But I won't take Nicholas.'
I would, but I won't be around
enough to give any supervision.
Wait a second.
You know, I've got an idea!
W-why don't we
just ship Nicholas
to Irving J. Moore's!
I mean, he's there
all the time, anyway, right?
Alright, that's a good idea!
I'll tell Abby
to call the Moores right away.
Okay.
You just wanna call it off
'cause you haven't
found a present!
- Aww.
- Yeah.
- Hi.
- Oh, hi, guys.
Now, the party's
on as planned okay.
And be sure and get gifts,
'cause they need 'em
more than ever now.
Oh, what am I gonna get 'em?
Hey, just don't get him
a magazine subscription.
I got them a year of
National Geographic.
Great idea. I'll get 'em a year
of supply of Time & Newsweek.
And a year of Time
and a year of Newsweek.
[indistinct chatter]
You lose again.
You alright?
Hey, Tommy, you've gonna
have to get something new, huh?
Wrong, I'm still giving
them the photo album.
Of what?
What do you think?
Hold it.
Insurance pictures.
[knock on door]
(Nicholas)
'Tommy, I have to
talk to you.'
'Stay put!'
'I know I'm not supposed
to open until you tell me.'
What?
Can I take a picture
for the album?
- With what?
- Your camera.
Oh, not on your life. I don't
even want you lookin' at it.
Bad luck follows you
around like a shadow.
Tommy, does everybody
hate me?
Well, let's just say that, uh,
we're keeping a fair distance.
Let's face it kid,
you're cursed.
Hey, you stupid little..
Would you stay
away from me?
[door slams shut]
[instrumental music]
[indistinct chatter]
How come we are putting some of
these presents back in the sack?
Nope, I was just..
I was just..
...just lookin' for somethin'.
How come you're not
wearing your red suit?
Well, oh, I didn't get it back
from the cleaners in time.
Besides, I've got my red under
shirt on, you see?
M-m-my red socks.
Don't you come down the chimney?
No, no, no, your, huh, your
chimney is much too small
and I am much too large.
Just come on along,
now go to bed.
Do you know this, those pictures
that you made
were worth more than anything,
here in this whole room.
- You know why?
- Why?
Because you made them.
Because presents like that are
worth more than the ones
you can't buy or sell,
because they're made with love.
Not, money.
Comin' through.
I wish, I had the ability
to make presents
like that for
my grandchildren.
How many grandchildren
do you have?
Uh, ten. Ten, yes.
But they don't live with me now.
They live way off down
in San Diego way.
[indistinct chatter]
Now, I...I haven't given
you my gift.
A gift I want to give
to all of you is just..
...to get out of your lives.
I'd give anything to be able
to go down San Diego way
to see my grandchildren again.
- Dad, would you?
- Dad! Dad!
No. no.
[instrumental music]
Here's all I got. Seven dollars
and forty three cents.
I'll have to owe
you seven cents.
Forget it.
Boy, I thought you'd
never give this up.
So did I.
Alright, now Nicholas,
if you need any more
while you're
at Irving J. Moore's
you call me, understand?
Okay, thanks.
Do you need help packing?
I already packed.
One, two, three,
four and five.
Now, look it,
if you need more--
I'll call you.
Right. Oh, by the way, don't
say anything, for bubblegum.
Gee, thanks. You don't know
what this means to me.
Hello, Mrs. Moore, this is
Nicholas Bradford.
My folks decided, I should stay
at my brother's house.
Okay, bye.
[instrumental music]
Oh. Hey!
Nicholas.
Let me help you with that.
No, thanks. I got to start
doin' things for myself.
Have it your way.
I'll call the Moore's and tell
them that you're on your way.
I called them already.
Oh, well then, let me get that
suitcase in the car for you.
No, thanks. You're always saying
we should save gas.
I can walk.
Gosh, that's very considerate
of you, Nicholas.
And don't call to see,
if I got there.
I'll call you.
Hmm, looks to me
like you're more than
taking care of things
for yourself.
I've decided not
to bother people.
Huh! What a nice guy.
- Bye.
- So long!
[instrumental music]
[music continues]
Where to, sonny?
San Diego.
Are you travelling alone?
Yes, ma'am. I'm going to
see my grandpa.
Oh, that's nice.
- Round trip?
- No ma'am, one way.
[instrumental music]
D-d-do you think that your
company will cover the damage?
Better check out
all the wiring in the house.
W-w-well, that's the
first thing we'll do.
Yeah, will the insurance
company pay for that, too?
No smoke alarms, huh?
Well, that's the first thing
we'll get, as soon as--
Right, as soon as
we make this settlement.
What date you think
that'll be?
It's too bad, you didn't
think of it earlier.
Oh, how could I? I mean, the
fire only happened last night.
I was referring
to fire alarms.
- Oh.
- H-how many in the family?
N-n-ni.. Well, they are nine,
but they're, I mean they're nine
that live here.
How often do you
have fire drills?
Well, we're gonna
start right away.
That's right, right after
we get the smoke alarms.
Right after we
settle our claim.
So, what do you think?
We're covered,
right, right?
I don't make the decision,
folks. Just the report.
Uh, would you like
a cup of coffee?
Can we get you some
coffee and...uh, cream?
[telephone rings]
Hello.
Well, I'm calling,
just like I said.
Is everything alright?
Yeah, tell everyone, I'm okay.
And they don't have to call.
I will.
Goodnight, son.
Goodbye, dad.
[instrumental music]
(man on PA system)
'Bus for Eureka, Portland,
Seattle and Vancouver'
'now boarding.'
'Final call for Memphis, Ocean
Drive and San Diego.'
[instrumental music]
[instrumental music]
It's a shame, the kid
is asleep like this
when he can the whole
the seat to lie down.
- 'Is he yours?'
- 'No, no.'
I picked him up in Sacramento.
[instrumental music]
- What for?
- So you can write me a letter.
[instrumental music]
Aw, shucks, I need
a small screwdriver.
- Oh.
- I got it, I got it. Here.
Hold it.
What is he, the CIA?
[door bell rings]
Hey, would somebody
get the door please?
'We're all in here, working.'
Well, we just
can't let it ring.
Oh, it's gonna take
days in the tub
to steam the soot
out of my pores.
Excuse me.
That's just what see needs.
An excuse to sit in the tub.
It looks just terrible,
just terrible.
I know exactly,
how you feel.
I wouldn't want to go
on living here, either.
What? Huh?
You're not the head
of the household, are you?
Uh, uh.
It looks just terrible,
just terrible.
I know exactly, how you feel.
I wouldn't want to go
on living here, either.
Well, nobody invited you.
We happen to like
this house, you know.
Who are you, anyway?
Oh, Della Gale, Hemming's
& Gale, real estate. My card.
I got a client, who's just
dying for a house like this.
You can practically
name your own price.
- Bradford?
- Yes, I'm Tom Bradford.
'City building
and safety inspector.'
- Upstairs?
- Oh, yes.
Abby.
I'm sorry, Miss Gale,
we just can't--
I understand. Looks just
terrible, but you got number.
- Call me anytime, night or day.
- Bye.
You know where
the beach is ma'am?
Now, which beach, sonny?
'There's miles of beach
in San Diego.'
This one.
'Oh, let's see.'
'That would be, no.'
It would be, oh yes,
, La Jolla.
Only don't go La Jolla.
'Go to West Mission Boulevard,
there's an old amusement park'
'near there.'
Only, it's not an
amusement park any longer.
I'm not sure it hasn't
even been torn down.
Oh, you just gonna have to go
out there
and find it for yourself.
[instrumental music]
Now, if you're upstairs
and the stairway is clear
well then of course, you use it.
If not, there will be a fire
ladder placed in every bathroom.
Now, when the alarm rings,
you follow the route
indicated by your respective
colored crayon.
Oh see you guys, we really have
get started on that party.
We only have three days.
Hey, relax, Joannie, I already
got the guest list from Daisy.
Oh, yeah, I know. How are we get
time to call people.
- Oh, Joannie, make it .
- Huh?
Donna added some names when I
asked her to help us.
Didn't we agree to keep this
small and simple?
Oh, yes, David,
forget small and simple.
This has to be a bash.
I mean, dad and Abby really
need this party now.
Poor Abby, she's upstairs
right now takin' a breather.
Hello, Benny, this is
Mrs. Abby Doe. Right.
Listen, there's been
an emergency and I'm not
gonna be able to use
the tickets.
So, I was wondering if
you could refund the--
You know, I'm sure, you're gonna
find some people who need some
"A Chorus Line" tickets, right?
Oh good. Okay, so you'll
refund $ each.
No, no, no, wait a minute.
Now, I sent you a $ in small
bills, just like you asked.
That's $ each.
We know, you don't run a
business. This is grand theft.
No, no, no, no.
Don't hang up, okay.
Okay, I'll take the $.
Thanks.
With my welfare
and your pension..
You can starve together
instead of separately.
Who asked you?
We can move in your
place together.
And live in sin?
At your age, it's only
a sin of omission.
Who asked you?
You're blocking the view, kid.
Where is he?
'Where's who?'
Him. He's in the picture,
why isn't he here?
Who does he want?
Him. Sam. Where is he?
What do you want him for?
Whatever it is,
he didn't do it.
Oh, he probably did, but you
have to understand
the circumstances.
I don't know what
you're talking about.
I just have to see Sam.
He's not here, sonny.
He went to a place, where they
can't exploit him anymore.
Where's that?
[instrumental music]
Sam d*ed kid.
d*ed?
Were you a friend of Sam's?
So was I, kid.
Sam was my best friend.
He was willing
to be my grandpa.
[instrumental music]
Nathan, you got
an extra dollar?
No! But I'll give
you one anyway.
[instrumental music]
[music continues]
Come on, kid,
I'll buy you a hotdog.
Come on.
[instrumental music]
So, I was the one who was
trying to put out the fire.
But, Tommy wasn't
there to help.
David took Tommy to live with
him and not you, huh?
Yeah, so they wanted to send me
to Irving Moore's.
He's a great friend
and everything
but he's not
even in the family.
Tsk, tsk.. Exile.
- Yeah.
- And so young, too.
Oh, come on, now, they..
...probably figured you'd rather
be with your best friend.
Nope, they hate me.
- Cossacks!
- [indistinct]
I bet they're plenty
worried about you right now.
Nah! I bet they don't
even know I'm gone.
And, don't even care
if they do.
It'd serve 'em right,
if he never went back.
Stop giving the
kid ideas, Nathan.
He's got to go back.
I'm not going.
He's not going, Joe.
He's going.
Now, where is home, kid?
Why'd Sam have
to go and die?
Well, it was
in the cards kid.
See, you got to go back.
Now, where is home, Nicholas?
Here.
Aah!
Hey, Nance, I've got the perfect
idea for an anniversary gift.
Yeah, what?
Stationery with the Bradfords.
Written in script
across the top?
- You didn't.
- I did.
I pick it from the printers,
first thing tomorrow.
Oh, sweetie..
- What are we, animals? No.
- Speak for yourself, Nathan.
We're fellow human beings.
The boy needs a home,
you take him in.
Your speech,
You take him in.
I want you to, Joe.
He wants you to, Joe,
that's exactly what I'm saying.
Be a person for once.
Joe's bungalow is the
second one on the right.
- Enjoy.
- He can't stay with me.
I have no place else to go.
Come on, son, I'll take
you back to bus depot.
I'm staying here.
Second one on the right.
Look, kid, I'm sure that if Sam
was here, you could stay with
him 'cause, well, he was
a good friend of yours.
- But, me--
- 'Alright, you!'
Look at me when
I'm talking to you.
Mrs. McHenry, how lovely
you look this morning.
'You can save that for your'
'ladies on the beach,
Joe Simmons.'
All I want from you is three
weeks back rent or out.
You know, I think the post
office must have lost my check.
You're investment dividend.
Yeah, I was there all morning,
arguing with them about it.
Maybe you should've spent that
time huntin' for a house.
Oh, ha ha, you wouldn't
throw me out.
Watch me.
Would it be alright, if my
grandpa took me in to change
before we go?
Grandpa?
What's this about grandpa?
Mrs. McHenry, I'd like you to
meet my grandson, Nicholas.
'He's just come down
to visit me.'
Yeah, my grandpa wrote about
you in all his letters.
How nice you were
and everything.
- He did?
- Every letter.
He said it'd be alright
for me to stay here with him.
'Cause I have no place
else to go.
No family?
For a visit, just for a visit.
Well..
Didn't I tell you, what a nice
lady Mrs. McHenry was?
But as soon as the
boy goes, you go.
Gee, grandpa, you sure do
have a nice landlady.
- Knock it off.
- But..
Now, don't talk to me
when I'm thinkin'.
[instrumental music]
[theme music]
[music continues]
03x12 - You Won't Have Nicholas to Kick Around Anymore
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The show was modeled on the life of syndicated newspaper columnist Tom Braden, a real-life parent with eight children, who wrote a book by the same title.
The show was modeled on the life of syndicated newspaper columnist Tom Braden, a real-life parent with eight children, who wrote a book by the same title.