(film clicks)
(train rustles)
(phone beeps)
You know.
My name is Rick Klingman.
I am an attorney and a
political consultant.
Some people might say, oh,
that guy is a con artist
or a fraud or a dirty trickster
or he can't name all three
branches of the government.
And they're wrong.
I am simply a truth provider.
This morning on
behalf of my client,
I filed a lawsuit with the
Tomkins County Courthouse
to stop production of the
new play, "Freeing Lincoln."
In this play,
producer, Seth Rogen,
alleges that Abraham Lincoln,
a great American and one
of our greatest presidents
was, in fact, a gay man.
I have asked Judge Ennington
for an immediate injunction
and I am awaiting her ruling.
Every once in a while,
someone will hire me
to get their truth out there
and when I hear
what they're about,
I think I don't know,
maybe that's not good.
But the more I think about it
and talk about it, I
start to believe it.
I start to believe their truth
and then it becomes the truth.
I see Jessica from "The Daily
Beast," hello, how are you?
- Hi, Rick, doing well.
Who are these people behind you?
Are they with you?
- Yes, yes.
I mean, this gentleman's sign
says Lincoln was straight.
That's what we're alleging.
- What about her?
- Yeah, no, I asked her
not to stand here with us,
but she won't leave.
She said no way.
But that's her right.
This is American,
First Amendment.
The man was sh*t
in the head, okay.
He's not here to defend himself.
I'm sorry, I don't
think it's right
that a Canadian based
in Hollywood gets
to tear down another
American idol.
- f*ck Rick Klingman.
This guys a f*ckin'
piece of sh*t.
I check Twitter every
day hoping he's gonna die
and when he does finally die,
I'm going to find out
where they buried him,
I'm gonna take a week
and I'm gonna eat nothing
but Taco Bell burritos
and P.F. Chang's.
And then I'm gonna
go to his grave
and I'm gonna spray
the worst diarrhea
anyone's ever had all
over his headstone.
(playful dramatic music)
- I see you.
Bossman.
Bossman.
It's good to see you.
I am an airport expert
and my best piece of
advice, take the shuttle.
Here he is right now, look.
Here comes our guy.
I've been waiting less than
10 minutes, here he is.
How are you, brother?
That's the wrong one.
I thought New York
was a huge success.
The judge threw out the
lawsuit, which we expected,
but I proved my point
and my clients are happy
and I think I'm gonna get a lot
of buzz out of this one, so.
Check the Twitter machine.
Let's see what folks are saying.
Rick Klingman is a pathetic worm
who should crawl back into
whatever sewer he came from.
What's up with Rick
Klingman's weird body?
Why does on suit fit him?
I got to give Rick
Klingman credit.
He actually has done
some impressive things
in his life considering the fact
that his brain is
made of monkey cum.
I think the nature of
what I do lends itself
to haters and trolls.
There's this one guy
named Sledge Whopper,
not his real name, and he
goes after me all the time,
man, and he, he
is telling people
I pranked this idiot
and I owned him.
No one owns Rick Klingman,
except City Second
National Bank,
which owns most
of my condominium.
Home sweet home.
I love coming home
after a long flight.
I like to relax, get a little-
- Hello.
- Oh, my God.
- What are you, why.
Excuse me, guys, one second.
What the hell was that?
- [Marco] I told you, I don't
want cameras in the house.
- [Rick] Here's the deal.
A, you live in my condo.
B, I am your boss.
So, as your boss, I am
ordering you to be cool.
Can you be cool?
Welcome to Casa Del
Klingman and Marco,
who not only is my
executive assistant,
he's also my roommate.
- Mm-hmm, hello.
- Been working together
for about three years now.
- Four years.
- He makes the greatest dish.
It's the uh, the chicken
and the rice one.
- Yeah, arroz con pollo.
It's very good.
- Is that what it's called?
The one, it's got like
the yellowish sauce?
- Yellow sauce on top
of rice and chicken?
It's arroz on pollo.
- Let me know if I have any
phone calls I need to roll.
- Absolutely, I will
let you know anything
that I have to tell you.
- So, this is it.
This is the humble abode.
I love Asia and I did some work
with some gentlemen
from Hong Kong,
who had a startup.
They were trying to, uh,
get canned dolphin exported
and people were furious,
but the reality is, is
dolphins are incredibly healthy
to eat and there really
are a lot of them.
Welcome to central command.
I miss my guys.
Miss my platoon.
- [Director] Oh, I
didn't realize you served.
- Well, I wanted to.
I wanted to serve,
but, unfortunately,
my left leg is about a quarter
of a millimeter shorter
than my right leg.
This is my friend Neil's
40th birthday, paintball.
This is, this is kind
of the central hub
of my office right here.
I was an onboard advisor
for Enchanted Cruise Lines,
I don't know if you guys
know them. Oh, my God.
They called me the Fet Boy,
'cause I was always the
first in line at the buffet.
Look at that crab.
Look how big that
frickin' crab is.
I worked for Enchanted
for six years
until I got real sick.
I ate some buffet
queso, we think.
It could've been
a lot of things.
But, uh, whatever it
was, it was tapeworm
and it gave me the tapeworm
and so I lost ton of weight.
All my chest hair fell out.
I was real sick.
I ended up suing the cruise line
and I settled out of
court, which was great.
And I, unfortunately,
ended up gaining
a lot of weight
back right there.
That's me at about 309, 310
right there, real unhealthy,
so I decided I was
going to sign up
with a oh, let's just call it
a certain famous
weight loss company.
That worked so well
that I ended up
with kidney failure.
Lost too much weight too fast.
So, I sued that weight
loss company and I won
and that is kind of what
really put me on the map.
And I learned that I
was put on this earth
to make a difference
and I can make money
making that difference.
So, I, uh, yeah, I started
my own consulting
firm, Maximum Truth.
That's for you, take it.
I got like two left.
- [Director] Who hires you?
- All kinds of people.
I mean, titans of
industry, CEOs.
Do you remember Tonya Harding?
Her brother.
So, I got a phone call
from my friend,
Mary Jo Nackerson,
who is a big activist
with some pretty deep pockets
and she wants to talk,
so we're going to Beverly Hills.
Don't even have to lock it.
Not in this neighborhood.
- There he is, Mr. Handsome.
- Where? Where?
(Mary Jo laughs)
- Ah, oh.
- You okay?
- Oh, the pain.
- What happened?
- Oh, honey, I just
got new choppers
and they're still
finding their grit, see.
Look good, though, huh?
- Oh, look at that.
- Look, look.
- Look at those,
they're beautiful.
- Yeah, I paid a lot
of money for them
I'll tell you that much.
- I got these on sale.
(Mary Jo laughs)
- Oh, come on in, come on in.
I'm fine, I'm fine, really.
My husband, Wilbur and I spent
a lot of time working on
this house, tiny details.
Oh, and there he is now.
Wilbur, my sweet Wilbur.
- Yes.
- Just a wonderful man.
Wilbur was a big shell
guy, natural gas, so.
- [Director] You mean fracking?
- Uh, I wouldn't
call it fracking.
- No, it's fracking and Wilbur
practically invented it.
- It's fracking. Wilbur
invented it and I love it.
- Let me ask, Rick,
what do you really want?
- I would love to
expand my operation
and maybe open up a
little office, you know,
Washington, DC, be bi-coastal.
- Rick, I had a job for you
and if you do it right,
all of that is possible.
- I'm listening.
- Mm-hmm.
Antonio Kelly-Zhang.
You know him?
- Yeah, I think I do.
Was he on "Below Deck?"
- He is running for Congress
right here in Los Angeles.
- Oh, yes, no, no,
I do know this guy.
He's very young and
very photogenic, hello.
- He is a disaster
for people like us
and I have evidence
that he may be a demon.
- Well, I think that is
definitely worth investigating.
It might be hard to prove.
If it's true, that's a big deal
and he's kind of in trouble,
but I think, yeah,
you can maybe, uh,
I think we can do a little
digging on this guy.
- Well, that's what
I want you to do.
If you can find something
to knock him out,
this is just the beginning.
- Mary Jo.
- Yes.
- I'm in.
- Oh, fantastic,
that's fantastic.
- [Rick] My pleasure.
- Ah, oh, God, oh.
- That's a big one.
- Will you go up to my room
and just get those pain pills.
They're on the nightstand table.
- Pain pills on the
nightstand table.
- Pills on the
nightstand table, oh.
- Got it, I'll be right back.
Mary Jo, just hang tight.
So, when Mary Jo
reached out yesterday,
I thought three words.
I need Simon.
How would I describe
Simon Tarnum?
One word.
LeBron James.
He led the boycott
of the Apple store
for not selling his app.
He led the boycott of Chipotle
when they started
serving soy riso.
This is a young man who
is just an up and comer
and did I mention
he's easy on the eyes?
I mean, if I was a woman,
he would be my boyfriend.
He said to meet him
in the backyard,
so, I think I can
guess what he's doing.
I was right.
- Yo, man.
- There he is.
- There he is.
- Come on.
- Oh.
- Look at that.
- Got the camera crew, huh?
(both grunt)
- I'm gonna try that.
- [Together] Hah!
Hah!
Hah!
- You don't have
to do the grunts.
I just got 20 more seconds.
- Whoo!
- Get this.
- Yeah, burn it out.
- Get there, Simon.
- That's good.
- It works a lot of
different muscle groups.
(Simon grunts)
- Come on, you f*ckin' p*ssy.
- Yeah.
- I had a very fun
lunch yesterday
with Mary Jo Nackerson
and she has a job for me
and I thought maybe it
could be a job for us.
- I'm listening.
- Okay.
- She wants us to
do a little dig
on one Antonio Kelly-Zhang.
- Creepy.
- Yeah, you know this guy?
- Hate his face.
- Yeah.
- Hate his face.
- Do you know who he is?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Who is he again?
- He's running for Congress.
- Okay.
- In LA.
- That's what it is.
- That's why I know him.
- On the east side.
- Oh, you know what it is?
I saw him on Natalie
Portman's Instagram one time
before she blocked
me, the coward.
- All we gotta do
is just kind of do
a little background
check on this guy.
You know, find out
where's he been,
what's his story.
Is he hiding anything.
- I see.
- You know?
- I see.
- You wanna get down
and dirty with it.
- Yeah, I mean,
that's the business.
This is all totally legal.
- Yep.
- You know, but it comes down
to me needing you, Simon.
I mean, this guy, he's
young, he's viral.
You're young, you're viral.
I need your expertise
and we've been looking to
do a collab for a while
and this kind of seems like
it's the perfect thing.
So, I'm here to ask
you, what do you think?
- What do I think?
Oh, God, it's gonna be tough.
Might need to sleep
on it, you know.
- [Rick] No, that's fine.
- I might need a couple days.
You know?
- No, I get it.
- I get it and it was, you know,
we're all working on things,
but I thought, this
could be just kind of-
- I'm kidding. I'm in.
Do a little zoom.
(Rick laughs)
Daddy's in.
Come on.
- Come on, now.
- Come on, now.
(Simon coughs)
- I, I thought you
were going, I'm sorry,
I thought you were
going for a fist bump
and I went way too long.
- Listen, I gotta,
I gotta ship out
some supplements, but-
- Oh.
- Instead of taking off,
why don't you come and check out
what I got working over here.
- You wanna see this
little mogul right here?
- In the garage.
I just got Wahlberg to cut in.
- You got Mark Wahlberg?
- Donnie. Donnie.
- Shut up.
- "Bluebloods."
- I met him and Jenny
McCarthy one time
and I took a picture with them.
- Whoa, welcome to the factory.
We got, oh, what
have we got here?
- Whoo!
- Oh, is that, is that the, uh,
highest quality
weightlifting supplement
on the market right now?
I think it is.
- Look at that.
- Check that out.
Shredded and you can get
this beautiful product
at shredded.net.
You just pop that right there
when I did that with the finger.
- [Director] We're
not doing that.
- You could pop a
link right there.
- It's all right, it's
all right, doesn't matter.
- And I love that you
guys only used one D.
It's kind of like skewing
a little bit, you know.
This ain't, this ain't
your daddy's chocolate
protein powder.
- Missed two Ds, one two.
- Oh, no, no, I
meant like, you know,
two Ds next to each other.
- That would be shre-ded.
I'm not gonna do that.
- No, no, no, look, normally
it would be two, that's good,
it's good.
- Shredded.
It's gotta be
shredded, get shredded.
- You have an opponent,
you find their weakness.
- Yeah.
- You investigate, you
expose, you exploit, IEE.
What about policies?
Because this guy
is pretty radical.
- You know, I think
we should just
avoid policy
altogether, you know.
It's not what the young
people are into, it's boring.
- Yeah, we think it's
boring, that's true.
- Doesn't make any sense.
- That's true, I get it.
- You know what, we'll pull
that off the board, policy.
- Yeah, yeah, make
space, former jobs.
What'd he do before this?
- Former jobs.
Command center activate.
- Oh, I'm feeling some
momentum now, baby, oh, yeah.
- Okay, well, he worked at
a community outreach program
for homeless folks.
- Mm, community outreach?
What does that even mean?
That's gotta be a front for
something, dive into that.
What'd he do before?
- I'm gonna mark that one.
Before that he-
- Give it to me.
- Oh, he worked at a
Lavashe, it's a restaurant.
I, I, I've been there.
- Beautiful.
- Put it on, put it
on an index card.
- What card? What color?
- Mm, green, get it green, yeah.
- Lavashe.
- But it looks like, uh,
looks like we might
have a first stop, huh?
- Yeah.
On the board baby.
- Put it on the board!
- Hello.
Welcome to Lavashe.
We're actually not
open for dinner yet.
- Uh, what is your name?
- Shannon.
- Shannon, up, there we go.
Rick Klingman, this
is Simon Tarnum.
- Hola, Shannon.
- Shannon, we're
making a documentary
about, uh, Antonio Kelly-Zhang
and we were wondering
if maybe you worked
with him and you could give us
a little information about him?
- I didn't, unfortunately.
- Uh, well, hold on, is
there anyone working now
who worked with Antonio
when he was here perhaps?
- Yeah, Gabriel's our manager.
- He worked with him, yeah.
- Gabriel?
- Let's, is he here right now?
- Mm-hmm, let me go
see if he's available.
- Oh, Shannon,
thank you so much.
- You're welcome.
- Thank you.
- What am I looking at here?
$42 for a steak.
I could buy a steak, I could
buy three bottles of wine,
potatoes, make it at home for
that price, this is insane.
- Bienvenue a Lavashe.
I'm Gabriel, the manager.
- We're actually making
a little documentary
and we wanted to know, you know,
just basically what kind
of employee Antonio was,
just kind of see what
he was all about.
- You're looking
for dirt on Antonio?
- [Simon] Si.
- [Rick] Is there any?
- Well, I worked
here with Antonio
for a couple of years
and I can tell you this.
He was employee de la semaine
four semaines in a row,
that's a month.
- What does that mean?
- He was a perfect employee.
Everyone loved him
and we all support
what he's doing now.
- Perhaps there were some folks
who worked here
while he was here
who might not think he was-
- How about I give
you 10 seconds
to turn off your cameras
and get out of my restaurant.
- Gabe.
- It's Gabriel.
- Gabriel.
- [Simon] Gabey, Gabey.
- Now, why don't
you get out of here
or I will drag you out
of here by your balls.
- Ah, f*ckin' thr*at,
that's a thr*at.
Say that one more time.
- It absolutely is,
now get the f*ck out.
Take your grandfather with you.
- Wow.
- Grandfather.
- Keep going, keep going,
this is all good stuff.
- Grandfather?
- Isn't he late for
Little League practice?
- He hasn't played Little
League in five years
and I'm only 12
years older tops.
You know what? It's fine.
I want you to know
something, my friend.
I am an attorney and I
can still practice law
in Nevada, in New
Mexico, in Arizona
and parts of Florida.
You blew it.
- Successful.
- You blew it.
- We gotta listen to the
back of that recording,
'cause we could have something.
- See, I don't think
there is anything.
- None of it?
- Excuse me.
- Because he didn't
say anything.
- He said it absolutely is.
- Excuse me.
- Excuse me, hi.
You dropped this.
- I don't think I did.
- No, I saw you drop
it a couple of times.
- No, I'm sorry.
- You did.
- You're thinking
of someone else.
- You're very careless, now.
- Didn't bring any napkins, so.
- What are-
- Don't be so careless.
(suspenseful music)
- What is that?
- Get in the car.
- Yeah.
- Get in the car.
- What's going on?
- Get in the car,
get in the car.
(door closes)
(suspenseful music)
- I did not drop this.
- Right.
- He wanted me to
have it, call me.
- Yeah, he wants to
go on a date with you.
- No, no, he, he wants,
he knows something.
He knows something.
- About Antonio?
- Yes.
- Jesus f*ckin' Christ.
- Come on.
- Whoo! This is huge.
- Okay, this is actually-
- I mean.
- Almond.
- Hello, hello, hi.
No, no, I'm sorry, this isn't a,
this isn't a ride share.
- Sorry.
- Sorry.
Get a big black car,
everyone thinks it's an Uber.
I have this very strange ability
where people who have a secret,
they can smell me or something.
They, they, they,
they smell me coming
and they're like this
is a guy I can trust.
- [Director] If they smell you,
it seems like they
have the ability.
- But, no, but it's,
I give off the smell.
It's like, who has more talent,
a person or a skunk?
A skunk.
He's the one making the smell.
Otherwise he's just
a, what is he? A cat.
Uh, can I get you
something to drink,
some OJ or coffee, maybe?
- Uh, I'll have a Jack and Coke.
- Sure. Have a seat.
Simon Tarnum, my associate.
This is Fred Zurtz.
- Hi.
- Yeah.
- How are you?
- It's good to see
you. All right.
- Have a seat there, Fred.
Let me get this.
That's for you.
- Oh (chuckles).
- [Rick] I got mixers handy.
- Not too much Coke.
- Okay, gotcha.
- This cinnamon
bread's really good.
Is it European?
- That is actually from
Vaughn's right down the street,
but it, it's really good.
They make a great roll.
Now, we didn't get
into it too much over
the phone, but you
said that you used
to work with
Antonio Kelly-Zhang?
- Yeah, for like three months.
- So, what, what was
your experience working
with Antonio from
your perspective?
- He was just always
making fun of me.
- That's your ass, man.
- Let me ask you a
question, and I apologize.
Was the harassment
ever sexual in nature?
- Yeah, it was.
- Jesus Christ.
- This is a safe space.
I need you to be as
specific as you can
about the nature of
the sexual harassment.
- Man, at first
it was just talk,
like, "Hey, Fred, you ever
think about doing your sister?
Admit it Fred, you
wanna do your sister.
You wanna do her and
you want me to watch.
That's what you
like, don't you?"
- And he was talking
about your sister?
- I mean, he was
obsessed with it
and I hated it
because I do not want
to have sex with my
sister, not at all.
- Did Antonio ever cross the
line with you physically?
- Well, when I was
marrying the ketchups
and Antonio walked out, up to me
and he grabbed my d*ck
and snapped it back.
- What?
- Um.
- How, uh, describe the-
- Yeah, describe-
- How that went.
- Well, he grabbed my d*ck
and I said, "What the f*ck?"
And then he snapped it back.
- Just so I can
have like a picture,
were you like nude at work?
- No, it was under the pants.
- Were you wearing
like sweat pants?
Like the elastic-
- What?
- I'm trying to
think how does he-
- It doesn't matter.
This is a harassment.
- It is, it is.
- This is total harassment.
- Oh, no, no, no.
- Don't eat off the floor.
- Don't worry about that.
- [Rick] Don't eat
off the floor, oh.
Okay, okay, it's
fine, it's fine.
- You were harassed, okay.
I want you to know that.
- Okay.
- That's unacceptable
what happened to you.
You get that, right?
- This is, these are kind
of tearing through me now.
I, can I use your john?
- Yeah, of course, yeah, no, no,
it's right over
there on the, uh,
right in that door.
Yeah, yeah, sure,
it's right over there.
Got soap and stuff,
whatever you need.
Take your time.
- Okay.
- Smoking g*n.
- When he leaves, we make calls.
- Absolutely.
- All right.
- Are you familiar with
the congressional candidate,
Antonio Kelly-Zhang?
- Are you a journalist or
are you not a journalist?
Well, I'm telling you, bro,
this is the real deal.
The real hizzy, baby.
- This press conference
will be, I think, viral.
- Of course we have evidence.
Why wouldn't we, why would
we call a press conference
and not have evidence.
I thought George
was the last name?
Then I don't know
who I'm calling.
- Yes, yes, I want
to get, I want to see
if you want.
- What happened, you
reached for the water?
Yeah, no, sorry,
that was my dog.
- You have a
journalistic obligation-
- I'll jump through
this f*ckin' phone
and I'll knock you the
f*ck out right now, pal.
- The press needs
me and I need them,
so it's a Cibian relationship.
Talk to me, buddy,
what do we got?
- All right, just got off
with "DC Insider" man.
- Okay, he's good.
- Not just that, though.
- Yeah.
- Elliott Pegsley.
- Oh, yeah.
- Marie Hootzahausen is
the correct pronunciation.
- I don't know her.
- Yeah.
- I got us Jessica Hall
from "The Daily Beast."
- Ooh, no, ew, fake news bitch.
- Well, that bitch can
be a man or a woman.
Men call me bitch, men call
women b*tches, doesn't matter.
But she does have reach.
She has a lot of reach.
- Yeah, all right.
- I'm trying to broad
the operation a little.
- Yep.
- So.
- Cool.
- It's out there,
we are looking good.
Oh, here he is, hey, Marco.
You remember Simon.
- What up Marco.
- [Rick] What's in the bags?
- Groceries for me.
(Rick sighs)
- Take your time,
take your time.
- What's going on with Marco?
- He's fine, don't
worry about him.
What we need to worry
about is something else
because we have a problem.
- Why?
- Where the heck we're gonna
celebrate tonight, baby,
'cause I'm thinking
BJ's Brewhouse.
- I love BJ's.
Why are we celebrating?
What are we doing?
- 'Cause we booked
a press conference.
This is happening.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- It's in the water, come
on, man, we're doing it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, can you
make a little more noise?
- Are you asking me to
make some more noise?
- I know, that-
- Am I being irritating?
- I was being facetious
because you were,
it was like a construction
site over there.
So, uh, BJ's was a disaster
I think was the right word.
They told me it would
be a two-hour wait,
which is insane
because I'm there, oh,
200 times a year.
I've spent every birthday
there for six years.
But there was a new hostess
and she was feeling herself
and she said, "Sir, it's
not gonna happen tonight,"
and I said, "Wait till I call
Carl, who is your manager."
Agh, doesn't matter,
doesn't matter.
We're home, we brought
the party home style.
I think that's the caviar.
Hope you guys are hungry.
- There we go.
How about pizza
pies, Italian music
What do we got?
Mischa, can I get you
some Ranch or something?
- It's Misa and, yeah, duh.
- Yeah, Misa.
That's a beautiful name,
is that, uh, perhaps,
you're from Europe, maybe?
- It's from Tampa Bay
is where I'm from.
- Top three cities in America,
Tampa Bay, number two.
Love it, great BJ's Brewhouse
there by the airport.
(upbeat music)
I'm gonna run over there.
(upbeat techno music)
(phone rings)
Hello? Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
Wait, you're here?
You're here right now?
Oh, okay, I'm coming down.
So, he's not going to jail?
- Well, I filed a report
and there will be a fine,
but no, we're releasing him
on his own recognizance.
- [Rick] But why did
you bring him here?
- Because he gave
us this address
and said you were a friend.
- No, I met him for the
first time yesterday.
I don't know this man.
- Well, that's your problem.
- No, officer, officer,
officer, officer.
I backed the blue.
- Have a nice night.
Thanks for your donation.
- I wanna know why
you were masturbating
in your car in front
of the Salvation Army.
- Well, that's not
actually accurate.
I mean, I was with
a lady friend.
- Uh-huh and where is she?
I mean, did she get
arrested, as well?
- No, she had to go shopping.
- That's bonkers.
Absolutely bonkers.
No one will believe that story.
Fred, you couldn't have waited?
You couldn't have
waited until we did
what we're trying
to do, you know?
This is bigger than you, man.
(Rick sighs)
- Can we, uh, can we
stop at Chick-Fil-A?
- I want you to
answer me right now.
Did Antonio Kelly-Zhang
sexually harass you or not?
- Yeah, you know, I can't
actually remember if it was him.
It could've been
an array of people.
I just have that kind of thing
that people wanna,
you know, do that to.
But someone did snap my d*ck.
- Hey.
- Hey, morning.
- What the f*ck is
going on? It's leg day.
- Yeah, no, I know,
I did my legs, too.
Um, I don't think we can
go with the Fred angle.
- What are you talking
about? Why? Why not?
- I don't know, man.
I think he, himself,
might be a sex criminal
and the minute they Google him,
this is all over.
- f*ck, okay, so, we can't
use like any of the story or?
- Maybe as like
a backup, backup.
If we find nothing else.
- Yeah.
- Which we will.
- Absolutely.
- I mean, we have merely
scratched the surface.
- Just gotta reset, recharge.
- He's hiding something
and we're gonna find it.
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. How?
- Maybe it's time we
let him know that?
- I feel like you're getting
that idea face, I love it.
- We're gonna go to his house
and let him know we know.
- Let just our eyes and our
presence bring it out in him.
- Once he sees us there
and let him know, hey, bud,
we know what's going on,
he's gonna go oh, sh*t.
- Yeah.
- And he's gonna freak out.
- Just f*ckin' stare
at him, beautiful.
- There's only one
problem. It's too perfect.
In this business, you
have to become an expert
and special ops,
recon, stakeouts.
I one time sat in my car
in front of Ed Begley
Jr.'s house for three days.
So the other camera's
ready to go right there?
- [Director] He will come
out when we get out of the car.
- It's like a proper ambush.
- Official, wow.
- Yeah.
- You know, this is all
totally legally, by the way.
You're allowed to, you know,
park in front of
someone's house and yeah,
this his all legal.
- Not doing anything right now.
- Oh, my God, there
they are, they're there.
Go, go, go, move,
move, you're clear.
Here we go, we're live.
Here we go.
Gentlemen, good morning.
Mr. Kelly-Zhang.
- Oh!
- Mr. Kelly-Zhang, hello, hello.
- Hey, guys, good to
see you, how are you?
- Hey.
- Good morning.
- How are you?
- I got to get my
daughter to school, so.
- You know who we are.
- If we can just keep it light.
- How can we help you guys?
- Uh, well, we just wanted
to let you guys know,
very simply, we know.
- Okay, we're not interested in-
- We know?
- Whatever stunt.
- What do we know?
- Yeah.
- What do we know, Kev?
- I think you know what we know.
I think you know what we know.
- I don't know.
- Okay, I'm gonna handle this,
so why don't you
just get in the car.
- Okay.
I will, uh, I'll leave you
and Kevin's capable hands,
but thank you for coming
out and appreciate it.
- Thank you.
- We appreciate you.
- Thank you, appreciate it.
- Thank you so much.
- [Simon] Appreciate
the political politics,
politics talking.
- We know.
- Um, yeah, you guys are idiots.
- Oh, I'm sorry, did
you just call me,
did you just call me an idiot?
I have that on camera.
- Yes, you are one of two.
- What is it that you do, sir,
if you don't mind me asking?
- I am Kevin Soo, I am Mr.
Kelly-Zhang's press secretary.
- You're a secretary?
- I am.
- Cock.
- Okay, okay, okay.
- Uh.
- Mr. Soo.
- That's great.
- Very simply, I want
you to know we know
and we wanna give you a
chance to comment on this
before everybody knows,
'cause it's out there.
- Kev?
- Yeah.
- Let's go.
- Two seconds.
- So, we're gonna go.
Have a good day, gentlemen,
I hope that you find
something to do today
because this is really stupid.
- [Rick] This is stupid,
we actually have to go,
we have to go to the 7th Street-
- [Simon] Yeah, we
got big plans today.
- Soup Kitchen, we're
heading there now,
so we have to go.
- [Simon] We should probably
get running, the traffic.
- You're going to the
7th Street Soup Kitchen.
- Yes, sir.
- Yeah, yeah.
- That's where we're going.
- I heard that,
thank you for making
your campaign schedule public.
- What?
- 'Cause we're
gonna see you there.
And then we're gonna see
you at the next place.
- I'm gonna handle it.
- And the next place.
We're gonna be up in your grill.
- Yeah, we're outta here.
Um, I will just have my
office reach out on Monday
- Fantastic.
- To let you guys know that, um,
you're total f*ckin' losers.
- Oh, we're total
f*ckin' losers.
- Yeah, have your
office tell us.
We need your office to tell us.
- Like that hasn't been
said to me a million times.
- We're gonna see you
guys in a little bit.
Don't hit anyone.
- You need help backing out?
You need help reversing,
reversing's top.
- See you at the soup kitchen.
- Good luck.
- We know.
- Hey, we know.
- USA, USA.
- We should go, we should go.
Keep movin', movin'.
(suspenseful music)
- [Simon] You gotta open
my side, it's locked.
- No, no, no, no, no.
I locked my keys in the car.
- What?
- [Simon] How,
how, how, how, why?
- I was distracted
and then I think,
I think I hit the lock button.
- But I don't even
think that's possible,
like manufacturers
stop doing that.
- No, no, no, no,
no, you can play
with it in the
settings and change it.
- Why would you change
it, though, 'cause we-
- That doesn't matter.
They're on the road.
- Let's call a car,
let's call an Uber.
Let's call an Uber.
- How does that work?
- I don't know.
I gotta get it in the app store.
- App store, app store?
- Yeah.
- You must connect to wifi
or a cellular data network-
- I don't have any cellular.
- To access the store.
- Yeah, okay.
- Uh, so today was not the best.
By the time we got
to the soup kitchen,
we found out that they had
gone to another location,
so we took another Uber
to where we thought
they were, but they
just ended up shuffling
their schedule around
and with the cost
of all the Ubers and the guy
who had to come and
break my windows
so that I could
get my car keys out
and the parking ticket I got
because of the street cleaning,
I am down roughly
500 bucks on the day.
So, that's not great.
But, I am, uh, not gonna
let it ruin the night.
It is someone's birthday
and I'm making their favorite
dish, coconut shrimps.
- It's my birthday.
- [Rick] This recipe
is Chef Ted Allen.
- [Marco] Yeah.
- [Rick] Who you might
know from "Chopped."
- [Simon] Yo, yo, yo!
- Who is it?
- It's Simon.
- Oh, hey.
- What the f*ck?
- Wow, what a surprise.
- I've been texting you.
- Oh, God, sorry, you know,
my phone charger,
the tape on it broke
and what's up?
- I just got a signal hit.
About an hour ago.
- Okay.
- From a source who's
got some dirt on our guy.
- Are you serious?
Okay, here we go.
Talk to me.
- There's apparently a
bachelor party video,
clear as day, Antonio
doing lines of cocaine.
- God bless cocaine.
Oh, my gosh, have
you seen the tape?
- I haven't, no.
- Okay.
- But it's there, it's real.
- You know, I got a
message from the guy.
He wants to Skype
with us tonight.
- He's gonna Skype
with us tonight?
- Yeah, he wants
to Skype with us.
- Is this really happening?
- It's really happening.
I'm just waiting on a text now.
- My man did it.
- Come on.
- Hit me.
- Oh, God, I think you
just broke my hand.
- Yeah, so a mid workout,
mid workout, right.
- [Rick] Jesus, wow.
- Also, I got something planned.
Can I, can I crashed
here for a few days,
just 'cause I got in kind
of a fight with my mom.
- Oh, oh, yeah, oh, you
can crash here, oh, yeah.
- For five, that's cool.
- No, no, no,
yeah, yeah, I mean,
we're gonna be working on
this around the clock, so.
It makes sense if
you're just here.
Uh, great, yeah,
no, no, no, for sure
and, uh, yeah, that's awesome.
- I'm sorry, hello.
Are you even turning the shrimp?
- Nobody survives being caught
on tape doing hard dr*gs.
- No.
- You're done.
- If anybody ever
offered me cocaine,
I'd say no, thank you, you know.
- Yeah, same here.
- Nope.
- Yeah, it's not good.
- You're saying you've
never done cocaine?
Is that what you're saying?
- Marco, please, what are you,
what are you doing?
- We were supposed to
have dinner together.
It's my birthday dinner
and all I had were three
little sh*t shrimps.
- It's your birthday?
- Look, you, here
have some more rice.
- I don't want-
- Try-
- Marco, shut the f*ck up.
- What?
- It's him, he texted.
- What'd he say, what'd he say?
- He said he'll
send a Skype link,
but only for using the computer
and an internet cafe.
- And internet cafe.
It's like where you go when-
- Okay, he says we gotta go now.
- There's one on Walnut Street.
Go, go, go, go.
- Looks like we're mobile.
- Looks like we're mobile.
- [Marco] Hello? I haven't
even had my cake yet.
- Okay, we're logging on.
- We're logged, there he is.
- Oh, my God.
- sh*t.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Are you alone?
- Yes, pretty much.
- Do you have the tape?
- Yes, and I will
show it to you now.
But you should know,
this tape is just
the tip of the iceberg.
Are you ready to
open Pandora's Box?
- Yes, we are.
Thank you so much.
- I will now who you the first
10 seconds of this video.
- [Rick] All right, all right.
- This is it.
- Give it to us.
(tortoises croaking)
- Um, okay, Source, we're
seeing tortoises having sex,
so I don't think-
- It's a prank.
- It's a prank, it's a prank.
It's a prank.
- This is not-
- Is that you, is that
you Sludge Whopper?
- Yes, it is. Suck it, Klingman.
- Rat sh*t, sh*t.
- Great job.
- So how long did this take you
to set up, this little scam?
- I don't know,
like eight minutes
and I made you drive
to an internet cafe.
- Wasn't even that far, it
was like around the corner.
- Four-minute drive,
so jokes on you.
- [Sludge] Eat my ass,
you f*ckin' clown.
- You want to eat your ass, oh,
I'll eat it. I'll eat it up.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
chill out. Go on, he got us.
I knew that little
rat was gonna,
I knew he was gonna get me.
- Yeah, sometimes someone
who approaches you
with information turns
out to be a bust.
What are you gonna do?
Are you just gonna cry into
your bowl of ice cream?
Yes, but you keep going.
You don't stop.
Stasis is death.
But, uh, I checked
in with Mary Jo.
She's, she's very excited
and we have our presser
on Friday, so, yeah,
we've moving in the
right direction.
- [Director] Why don't you
cancel the press conference?
- No, you never, ever
cancel the presser.
Okay, once you do that,
the mainstream media,
they smell blood in the water
and that's when they
really go after you
and they say that you're
just a loser scam artist
who doesn't have anything.
- [Director] But you
don't have anything.
- Well, not yet, but we have
plenty of time for discovery.
You know, we're hitting it,
the pavement pretty
hard right now
and we have the
fundraiser tonight,
which is gonna be pretty
enlightening, I think,
and we are definitely
in the all g*ns
pointing forward mode,
so we're feeling good,
feeling good, right?
I think that we need
to take a bigger look
at the big C.
- Ooh, cancer, I don't know,
that helps him, I
think, if we do that,
if he has cancer.
- No, college, I don't know
why I phrased it like that.
I wanna know more about
Antonio in college.
Should've probably done
this when we first started.
Antonio Kelly-Zhang.
- What kind of
college boy was he?
- Let's figure that out.
- Let's ask Google.
- Boom. UCLA class of 2008.
- I knew he was a UCLA brat.
- Okay, okay, how many
people do you think were
in his class at UCLA?
- Seven, eight.
- [Rick] No, I mean,
in like his that year?
- Oh, oh, hundreds of thousands.
- Not that many, but a lot.
- A lot.
- A lot.
And my point is every single one
of those people
might have a story
to tell about Antonio.
- Right.
- So, I think it's time
we got the worms in.
- And you know what? I
think I have a little idea
on how to track some
of these guys down.
Facebook alt accounts.
Get on there, reach
out to anybody
who graduated '08, UCLA,
see if we get anything.
- Do you know how to do that?
- Yeah, it's easy.
- Friggin' Jason
Bourne over here.
Whoo!
Look at that, so fast.
Oh, here we go, whoo!
Back in the Benz, early hills.
Oh, my Lord, that
was a long one.
- Long time in the car.
- [Director] What's
tonight all about?
- The Benjis.
- [Together] Benjamins.
It's about money.
We're having a little
bit of a fundraiser
because what we're doing
requires money, you know,
it adds up and Mary
Jo was kind enough
to offer up her beautiful home
as long as we were out by eight
and she would not buy the food,
so we picked up the food.
- Yeah, f*ckin' had to go
to Arcadia for the catering.
- The money we saved, though.
- Disgusting place.
- It will make up-
(tins crash)
- No, no, no, no, no.
- Uh, pick it up, pick
it up, pick it up.
Pick it up, it's fine, five
second rule, five second rule.
- You're not, are you
still gonna serve these?
- We're still gonna serve 'em,
we're gonna dust them off,
we're gonna dust them all off.
(Simon blows)
You gotta stop, stop it, you
got a good onion in my eye.
Thumbs up to camera.
Let's do it.
You guys want a hamburger?
- Okay, how's this angle for you
because this isn't
working for me.
- Yeah, I just need to get
the r*fle in a little more.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yep, yep, yep, yep.
- Yeah.
- Okay, ready?
- Yeah.
- Let's go.
- That's what I'm
saying, big guy.
It might be too late for you,
but this guy, we could really
turn his life around, huh?
- Listen, if I get
you on a podcast,
I could show you some statistics
that's really back all this up.
- Yeah, I wanna, let me,
I wanna look into that
a little bit more.
- Sure, I understand.
- Before I can, you
know, it's a hot topic.
- Of course, of course.
You know what, give me
your email and I will-
- Excuse me, I'm sorry.
- Okay, I will.
- Mary Jo, hi.
- Ricky, hey.
- How are you?
- What are you doing here?
Oh, your party.
- It's going on right now.
I'm gonna get you upstairs.
- Have you got some money?
- We are working on it.
Take your time, take
your time, my love.
- Whoa!
Here we go, I got you.
- There you go.
- Ooh, I squatted,
did you see that?
- You got down, I saw.
- I got a squat.
- Uh, Mary Jo's great.
I think she took one
too many pain pills,
so she's having a nap.
And I see Amy Klort.
Hey.
- Hey, Rick.
Thank, thanks for having me.
- Thank you for coming here.
YouTube queen.
- Oh, and the podcast.
- And the podcast,
podcast, YouTube queen.
Go to my Facebook page and
there's a little donate link,
button, you can hit that
and it's usually the fourth
or fifth Rick Klingman
that comes up in the Facebook,
so look for this face.
Ah, Hartlynn, can I just
thank you for coming tonight
and supporting us.
- Oh, my God, of course.
- Look, this Antonio
guy is the worst.
- [Rick] Yes.
- If it were up to him,
I wouldn't be doing this.
- Piece of sh*t.
- He's the bad guy, yeah.
- And I gotta tell you,
this is quite the piece.
- You like it? Yeah.
- Yeah, what are we
working with here?
- No, this is an MK-46.
- MK-46, I thought
it was something-
- Troops in Afghanistan use this
to take out supply tracks.
- Ooh, that's, hey,
support our troops.
- Yeah, and my dad got it
for me for my 18th birthday.
- Oh.
- So, sweet.
- Your parents are awesome.
- They really are.
- My dad's a d*ck.
- What a magnificent piece of-
- a*tillery.
- Death machine.
- Death.
- Yeah, that's good.
- Do you wanna hold it?
- Whoa.
- Yes, I do and I want you
to take a picture of me.
- I'm on my way there.
- Post is on Facebook.
- Let's do it, here we go.
- It is really heavy, I
don't know if you're strong.
- Ah! I am.
- He's got it.
- Whoo!
- He's got it.
- Yeah. If we can get
real just for a second,
the most important thing
when you're dealing
with g*ns is safety
and the first thing you
gotta do is check the safety.
(g*n blasts)
- Oh, no!
- What are you doing?
- It's okay, it's okay,
it's okay, I'm so sorry.
- What the-
- I was checking the safety.
- I was checking the safety.
- By pulling the trigger?
What is wrong with you?
- I thought you
had the safety on.
- [Hartlynn] Dude.
- That is my bad, guys.
I'm 95% sure that Mary
Jo did not get hit,
but I wanna go check.
- Give it a check,
give it a little check.
So, hey, why don't we-
- Fundraising is key.
Cash, check, credit
card, bitcoin.
Once got paid in Czechenzachers.
Good luck finding
a currency exchange
that will take that, by the way.
Literally looks
like Monopoly money.
- What a great
group of patriots,
all assembly for a
righteous cause, am I right?
- That's right, that is
right. (guests applaud)
- Oh, man, I also just
wanna say I have taken it
upon myself to get you all in
on the ground floor
exclusive opportunity
to make some real money, huh?
Everyone one in this room
has been pre-approved
to be a regional sales executive
for Shredded Muscle Supplements.
That's right,
clipboard's right there.
There's a few pens.
I'm gonna need you all
when you have time,
just full name, date of birth,
Social Security,
that's important-
- And I can tell you guys,
and I can tell you guys, and
I can tell you guys firsthand
how great Shredded is
and we're gonna talk
about that later on,
but right now I would
be a little remiss
if we didn't talk
about why we're here.
We're all here because
we love this country.
- [Guest] Amen.
- And when we see someone
like Antonio Kelly-Zhang
attacking it from the
inside, what happens?
What do we do?
- Get a rope.
- Hang that f*ckin' traitor.
- No, no, we're not gonna hang,
we're not gonna hang anyone.
But what we do is
we work together
and we identify our enemy
and then we take 'em out.
- With v*olence.
- Not with v*olence,
not with v*olence,
I didn't mean that.
What I'm saying
is, is our w*apon,
it's not a g*n, it's not a Kn*fe
or a rope, it's the truth
and the truth is we need money
because if you wanna
fix the country,
that ain't cheap,
it all adds up,
the research, the
hotel, the man hours,
those little tiny corn dogs.
We need you guys' money.
- Yeah.
- And there's all different
ways you can donate.
You can go on my Facebook page,
you can check him
out on social media.
- Take cash.
- We have a little form.
- We have different-
- Venmo.
- Donor levels.
- Yeah.
- Okay, we have bald
eagle, Uncle Sam,
Lady Liberty and little
stars and stripes.
- We named them to make it fun.
- And little stars
and stripes is $2.
And you get a fun little
pencil in the mail
and you think in $2, what are
these guys gonna do with $2?
A lot. So, what do you
say, can you help us out?
Can you help us out
and get some money?
- Get the energy back, whoo!
Well-
(phone rings)
You all are wonderful
and I have to take this.
Uh, I want you to
enjoy yourself.
There's a couple of cupcakes
and maybe half a
bottle of wine left.
- Yep.
- So, have some fun.
- We gotta be outta here in
about five minutes or so,
so thank you guys, we love you
and we will see you on Friday.
It's Jessica from
"The Daily Beast."
Jessica, so sorry about
that, how are you?
- [Jessica] I saw
that you still have
the press conference
booked for Friday
and I just wanted
to see if you wanted
to give me the exclusive?
- I can't do that, Jessica?
- [Jessica] Rick, can
I be honest with you?
- I don't know, you're
a journalist, can you?
- [Jessica] I think
you're flailing.
You got owned yesterday
by Sludge Whopper
and I don't think
you have anything
and you're freaking out.
- No, no, you're
absolutely wrong.
I am in the hills of Beverly
with some of the most powerful
and influential people west
of the Mason Dixon line.
- [Jessica] Rick, look, we've
known each other a minute.
Don't do this.
You've got nothing and you're
just gonna end up having
a bunch of people
laugh at you again.
- Jessica, I'm gonna let you go
because we have things to do,
but I'm gonna see you on Friday
and you're gonna be shocked at
how expl*sive this is, okay?
- [Jessica] Rick, I'm-
- Salivating.
You saw that, she
wanted the exclusive.
I was like no way.
How's it going out there?
- Uh, no one's
donating anything.
- Okay.
- Yep.
- I think they're all broke.
- Yes.
- So, we should
just get outta here.
Let's pack up the
catering supplies
because if we get them
back to Arcadia by 10,
full deposit back.
Oh, God.
- I like that.
- Hi, how are you?
- I'm good, man, I'm real good.
- Enjoying your night?
- Yeah, big time.
It's an event.
- Yes.
- I don't judge people.
I won't do it, 'cause
you never know.
You don't know.
Someone might be coming
to you with information
and, yes, they might
smell really bad
or, or have just like a,
like a crazy looking face
and I don't say get
outta here, you freak.
I say, "Tell me what you know."
I don't think we've
met, I'm Rick Klingman.
- Original Patriot.
- Original Patriot.
- You reposted some
of my YouTube videos.
- I knew I knew
you from somewhere.
I, I, I, I, think you did
one about may family court.
- That's right.
- Yeah, it was good.
- That's right.
- I don't even have kids and
that judge sounds nuts, so.
- What I'd like to
do is introduce you
to my cousin.
- Who's your cousin?
- Arliss.
- Okay, but-
- No, I think he's saying why
should we meet your cousin?
- Well, because I saw
that the cocaine tape
was some bullshit.
- Now, does he have photos
of Antonio doing cocaine?
Because that is really-
- That'd be great.
- What we would,
what we would love.
- If you just come
out, it's your card.
- Call him.
- It has been an
insane 12 hours.
We returned all the
catering equipment
and got our full
deposit back, nice.
Much more importantly,
we spoke to one Arliss.
- Yes.
- And he does not have a
tape of Antonio doing dr*gs.
- Big bummer, big bummer.
- He's got a sex tape.
- Even better.
- [Simon] We got a sex tape.
- If this tape is real-
- Sex tape.
- Which is what we're gonna
go find out right now.
- Gotta go confirm-
- Confirm information.
- [Rick] Make sure the
information is good.
- Is solid, concrete.
Anywhere from just being
passable to pretty wonderful.
- If it's real-
- It's game over.
- That's it, it's game,
it's swish, swish.
He's a little nervous about
maybe showing his face,
so I made sure
that we would agree
to blur his face out.
- [Director] Rick, I
said I wouldn't do that.
- If it comes up, go to the
bathroom or something, dude.
- [Director] You
do background checks
on all your sources, right?
- Background check,
you're gonna do
a background check on every
single person you meet?
Did you do a
background check on me?
- [Director] We did.
- Did you really?
So, we're meeting our
contact at Chang Du,
but we're a little bit early,
so we're gonna grab a juice.
- Juice it up.
- What is better
than a mini mall?
- A bigger mall, definitely.
- Oh, no, see a bigger
mall is too big.
It's got too much stuff.
Like what more do you
need than like a salon,
a Chinese place, there's
a vape shop, I think.
It's perfect.
- Anything else would be good.
- Oh, my God.
- What?
- I know you guys.
- Oh, really.
- Yeah, you were protesting
that Seth Rogen play, right?
- That was us, it was
mostly me, though.
- Eat sh*t, you f*ckin' hogs.
Huh!
Huh!
- It's in my eye,
hey, it's in my eye.
Oh, my God, oh, my God.
- Oh, it's so cold, it's
so cold, it's so cold.
- Let's, hey, hey,
hey, be cool, be cool.
I think someone
might be filming.
Someone might be filming.
- We gotta cancel the meeting.
- We gotta cancel the meeting.
- No, no, no, no.
- Nope, I'm going home.
- Hey-
- I'm not doing
meetings like this.
I'm going home.
- Stop, stop.
- Always keep an
extra suit handy.
- No.
- A-K-E-S.
- No.
- H, hey, you gotta do it.
- It's never gonna fit me.
That is never gonna fit me.
- Okay.
- I'm too lean.
- It's the only option.
- No.
- Listen to me, listen to me.
- I'll look like an idiot.
- Take it off, I have a
shirt, I have a shirt.
You take it off.
We can't go home, he's
waiting, he's probably waiting-
- Fine, fine, fine.
- Do it.
- And this is a great suit.
This is Burmese.
(shirt rips)
Burmese rayon, oh,
you're wasting-
Hi, how are you?
Good to see you.
We're, uh-
- f*ckin' zoot suit, right?
- Just, chill, just-
- Okay.
- He's right there.
- Don't-
- He's right there, that's him.
That's him right over there.
- All right, let's
go, get ready.
- We're gonna speak to
those guys, all business.
You are the gentleman we're
looking for, I believe?
- They're gonna
blur my face, right?
- The two cameras,
they're gonna both blur
your face out, so
you can relax, okay?
- Shall we.
- Not my suit, by the way,
so just wanted to, uh-
- Looks great.
- Before we even get started,
why don't you go ahead and
order whatever you want
on the menu on us.
- Get a couple menus.
- No, no, I already ate, yeah.
- Okay.
- Been here like an hour.
Got here early.
- We apologize.
We had an incident
outside, might be ANTIFA,
we don't know.
- Mm-hmm.
- I think you know
why we're here.
We need to see the tape.
- And I wanna show it to you.
- Great.
- I wanna show it to you, but-
- That's great.
- We need to talk.
Compensation.
- Absolutely.
- Absolutely.
- Yeah.
- Tell us what you had in mind?
- $10,000.
- That's what you want?
From us?
- I mean, I'm putting
myself out on the line here.
- Honest, I don't have
$10,000 in assets.
- What do you mean you
don't have $10,000.
- You should look
at that, seriously.
- Here's the deal.
You show me the tape,
there's an ATM right there.
I will walk out,
withdraw 60 bucks,
that's my limit, we
wait a few hours,
I'll get the next 40.
You're home by five with
100 bucks in your pocket.
- All right, all
right, all right.
- That's how it's
done on Wall Street.
- Yeah, no, it's
actually really massive.
- I have so many questions
as to how you got this,
but I'm not gonna ask because-
- All right, check
out this f*ck fest.
- [Simon] Yeah, gives us
the fucky, fucky, fucky.
- Yeah, look at that.
Look at that naughty boy.
That's your guy, right?
- Is this it?
- That's it, that's it.
- That's not it, that's not him.
- That's him, that's his face.
- That is his face.
That's the guy you're looking-
- It's it face, but it's like-
- He's floating around on-
- It's like in South Park-
- Yes.
- With S*ddam Hussein
where he's ah, ah.
- Right, yes, yeah.
f*ck me Satan.
- Yeah, that-
- It's a weird angle.
Guys, this is loaded.
- A weird angle?
- It's what, it's low budget.
This is a Gonzo style
p*rn, this will pass.
- I can't believe you wanted
$10,000 for this crap.
Are you insane?
- sh**t for the stars.
- Are you insane?
- Hey, can you calm down, now.
- We're almost done, Sunil,
give me a second, you owe me.
- [Sunil] No, no, no.
Get out of here.
- Get out of here?
- [Sunil] Come on, get,
I don't want you here.
Come on, get out.
- [Arliss] Why
don't we pause it.
- Okay, if I get out,
I'm never coming back.
I won't be here Thursday,
I won't be here Sunday.
I won't be here
Christmas Eve with you.
- [Sunil] Come on.
- All right, you know, actually
he's right, this sucks.
We're outta here.
- Excuse me, excuse me,
you just broke my laptop.
- Uh-huh, okay, sue me.
I'm a lawyer, I'll
see you in court.
- I will be billing you.
- What a waste of time,
what a waste of time.
Sunil, are placing
a to go order.
- It will pass.
- I am a little stressed.
I have a press
conference in 36 hours,
I have no idea
what I'm gonna say
and I have Mary Jo calling
every 10 minutes saying,
the election's soon, when's
the update, what's happening?
And I don't know
what to tell her,
so I'm feeling the pressure,
but got a sugar boost.
Got my man on the
keys right there.
He's-
- No, no, no.
- I am not doing his laundry.
- Okay, Marco, can
you just relax?
It's all in the same basket.
- How about I relax like this.
- Whoa, whoa,
whoa, Marco, Marco.
Are you serious?
- I'm serious. I'm done
dealing with this sh*t.
Just eat your ice cream.
- Come back here right now.
(Marco speaks Spanish)
- English!
(Marcos speaks Spanish)
- English, English.
Fired.
He's probably fire after
throwing something at me.
He can't do that.
He can't do that!
- [Simon] I got it?
- [Rick] Got what?
- I f*ckin' got it!
- This is a legitimate
hail Mary situation.
Okay, this genius, his
Facebook plan worked.
- Yep.
Heard from one of
Antonio's old classmates
from UCLA who, guess
what, hates the guy.
- No, no, no, no,
doesn't just hate him,
says she has
career-ending evidence,
those are the words she used.
- Yep, vice versa.
- We're gonna go talk
to her right now.
You are gonna get kissed.
Not by me.
- Don't touch me.
(Rick laughs)
- Hi!
- How are you?
- Can I help you?
- Yes, we are looking
for Carol Weiston.
- Wishspoon, wishpoon.
- No, Ouistablufin.
- Yes. That's the one.
Hey, Carol's my wife.
- I wanna get to why we're here.
Now, Carol, you were classmates
with Antonio at
UCLA, is that right?
- Yes.
We were in the same dorm.
- And what was your, uh,
what was your
impression of Antonio?
- Well, he was Mister Popular
and everybody loved him.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yep.
- But, to me, he was
just, I don't know,
he was like an
attention seeking phony.
- I hate that type.
- Hate it.
- Hate 'em all.
- The worst.
- I didn't really mind it,
but well, see, we
had this professor,
Professor Allen Silverstein,
but this one night a bunch
of the students were
drinking in the dorms
and Antonio just went
off on Mr. Silverstein,
just called him all
sorts of names, you know,
'cause he's Jewish.
And I said,
"Antonio, stop that."
He just kept saying such
hurtful, mean r*cist things.
Jews are a race, right?
- Yes.
- Technically a
religion, but yes, yes.
It's all good.
- It's just not right, you know.
- No, it's not.
It's not, it's okay.
- It's wrong is what it is.
- You didn't do anything wrong.
Here, this is clean.
- I'm sorry to get
emotional, it's just-
- No, no, don't you apologize.
- f*cked up is what it is.
- This has been in my
pocket, but it's clean.
(Carol blows nose)
(Carol cries)
- Take your time.
- Hey, hey, hey.
You are a hero-
- But-
- There's one more
thing I need you to do.
Carol, if there's a way
for you to say exactly
what you said to us,
just right now at our
press conference tomorrow,
forget about it.
- I bet people are gonna
say really mean things
about me in the press and
on Facebook and stuff.
- Can I be real with you?
Can I get real
with you right now?
They will.
All I can promise you is
that we will stand next
to you and behind you
and also in front of you
with everything we got.
- Okay, I'll do it.
- My hands are a little
sweaty, I apologize.
- All right, is
everything okay in here.
- [Rick] It was until
about three seconds ago.
- She saw your face.
- [Rick] She got upset.
- No, no, it wasn't that.
Here, Carol, do you
need a glass of wine.
- Goldmine, goldmine.
- This is happening.
- He's f*cked.
- Bye-bye.
- He's f*cked.
You can't say anything
about the Jewish people.
- No.
- That is a no go.
- Nor should you.
I got cat dander on me.
- Yeah, you do.
- Worth it.
Oh, what is?
Hey, I'm sorry, Marco, what
is, are you moving out?
- This is all your sh*t.
I'm doing sharing
this space with you.
- What the f*ck?
Your assistant's
kicking you out.
- No, no, no.
- Assistant.
- Hey, I wanna talk
to you over there.
Come with me.
- Oh, my God, no.
- I'm not chasing you.
Hey.
- Just gonna work
it out really quick.
- [Rick] You can't
do this, Marco.
- [Marco] I am sick of this.
I'm sick of the cameras,
I'm sick of that boy.
I'm sick of all of that.
- [Rick] No, no,
no, I don't care.
You literally cannot do
this, this is my condo.
- [Marco] You cannot
sleep here tonight.
- Oh, here we are, hotel style
where the presser's
is gonna be tomorrow,
just a few floors downstairs,
but we're here, we're
maxin' and relaxin'.
- Two kings just
resting before battle.
- Thank God I did not cancel
that press conference.
They wanted me to
cancel it and I said no
and this is why.
You and I, my friend, are
gonna be in high demand.
They're gonna want
us on all the shows.
- Oh, yeah.
- This is time to kind of chill.
(Rick snores)
- Should I wake him?
He sounds like
he's f*ckin' dyin'.
What do we do?
- [Cameraman] Yeah, I
don't think he's breathing.
- I should probably wake him.
- Yeah.
- Yo, yo, yo.
- Oh, oh, hey, hey, I'm here.
Did I fall asleep?
(groans) Sorry about that.
Oh, it's all about
the press conference.
Yeah, that's the coupe de gras,
where it's me in my element.
I'm up there, I am
controlling the room.
I am playing them all
like a little fiddle.
(playful suspenseful music)
So, here's what
we're looking at.
Breakfast is on the way.
- Break it down.
- It's 9:11 right now.
Carol's gonna be here at 10.
Bring her up here, we'll
prep her for a little bit.
- [Simon] Yeah.
- Secure us the late checkout.
We'll meet in the lobby at 1:45.
Presser starts at 2 o'clock.
Loud buzz online.
- Oh, yeah.
- I don't know if you've
been seeing what's happening.
- Oh, I saw, I saw.
They think it's a sex
tape, bunch of perverts.
- They're gonna be floored
when they find out
it's about the Jews.
Oh, God, sounds harsh.
Jewish, Jewish folks,
our Jewish friends.
When they find out it's
about our Jewish friends.
My friend, Juan,
come on in, buddy.
- You scared me.
- Come on in, yeah, we're
making a little documentary.
You weren't here last
night, they weren't here.
He served us a delicious
hot fudge sundae last night,
wonderful man right
here, wonderful man.
- Hope y'all had a nice night.
- I slept like a log, my friend.
- Yeah, I slept like
sh*t next to this log,
'cause he snores.
- I forgot my CPAP machine
and he has not let
me forget about it.
- Right.
- I almost d*ed, by the way.
- I slept like, I look terrible,
I got bags under my eyes.
- Yeah, well, I couldn't breathe
for an hour and a half.
- [Director] So, what
time is it right now?
- Uh, 10, three-four, so
Carol's a little bit late.
Not a big deal.
Traffic, LA, yeah.
- [Simon] Yeah, no
biggie whatsoever.
- She's in or out as we say.
- It's the standard,
standard LA time,
everyone runs late.
You're not cool if you
ain't late, you know.
That's what they say, so.
Maybe we should call her.
- I'm gonna call her
just because, you know,
maybe, hi, Carol, Rick
Klingman here with Simon.
10:35, just wondering,
you know, where you're at.
Um, we're here and we'll
see you in a few hopefully.
Thanks, Carol, bye.
- How did it go?
What did she say?
- Oh, it was a voicemail.
Carol, it's Rick. It's 11:33.
What Antonio said was despicable
and you have an obligation
to tell people what happened
and we're here to help you.
And I promise you-
- [Voicemail] If
you are satisfied
with your message, press one.
- Son of a g*n.
- What'd she say?
- It was a voicemail.
Okay, um, I'm
officially worried.
- Should we, do we need to
go get her or something, huh?
- Well, no, she's
90 minutes away,
we won't make it back in time.
- We need to put some new
kind of plan into action.
- Yeah.
I think the move here-
- Yeah.
- Is wait.
(shower runs)
He worked out again.
- [Director] The press
conference is in 30 minutes.
What's going through
your mind right now?
- What's going through
my mind right now is
that Carol is
nowhere to be seen,
which means I think she
bailed on this whole thing
and I can't believe that,
so I'm trying to come up
with an alternative plan.
Right, now here's the deal.
I want her to sit here.
Look at me, I want you-
(Jessica knocks)
Coming.
I want you to sit,
like stand right here.
- Stand over, okay.
- Here we go, all right?
- Like a lamp.
- I got this.
- Hey, Rick.
- How are you?
- Doing well.
- Good to see you.
- You remember our little crew?
- Yep, hi, guys.
- From New York.
If you wanna grab a seat
right there, you know-
- Oh, yes, thank you.
- Simon, of course.
- Ooh, Jessica, yes, hey.
- Hey, Simon.
- Thank you for coming
here and joining us.
- Can you not stand there?
- Yeah, I don't need to.
- It's insane.
- Yeah, yeah. You can
just go over there.
- Sit over here.
- Yeah, he doesn't need to.
Oh, can I get you
something from the minibar?
You want a little-
- [Jessica] Oh,
I'm good, thanks.
- You sure?
(ice bin clanks)
You okay?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
All right.
- So?
- So-
- What's going on?
- What's going on?
We're like what's not going on.
Here's what's going on.
We wanna give you the exclusive.
We talked about it and we think
that you are kind of
the only person we trust
to tell you this story
to put it out there
to the world.
- Get posting, get typing.
- Are you serious?
- You're welcome.
- The press conference
is in 10 minutes.
How is that an exclusive?
- I mean, because you would have
the story 10 minutes
before everyone else.
- Well, I don't
think my colleagues
that are waiting for
the press conference
you promised them would
appreciate that very much.
- This is earth shattering stuff
and we're giving it
all to you, all to you.
No one else.
What do you say?
- I have always been up
front with you, Rick,
and you, Simon.
I think that you
guys are con artists,
but I write about you because
I find it entertaining
and frankly I have the duty
to expose your bullshit,
but if you're gonna
call a presser
and have a bunch of
reporters come all
the way over here and
then not talk to them,
then I'm done with you for real.
And so is everyone else.
(Rick sighs)
Rick, Rick, you don't
have to keep doing
this stuff, you know.
There are other ways
to make a living.
It's not about the money, okay,
it's not why I do what I do.
I want people to know the truth
and I just, I feel good
when I'm standing up there
and I'm telling them this.
It makes me feel good,
it gives me purpose.
And I just, it gets
harder and harder to do
with people just,
they go after you
and they just make fun of you
and I'm tired of it and
I don't know, I just,
maybe you're right,
you know-
- Yeah.
- Maybe I need to not-
(phone dings)
- [Simon] Holy sh*t.
- [Jessica] Go towards the real-
- Carol's here,
she's downstairs.
- Shut, shut up, shut up.
- Go time.
- Whoo!
- Go time.
- f*ckin' blew it, Jessica.
- Move, move.
- This way?
- Yep.
- Left or right, left or right?
- Left.
- Yep.
- Right, right,
right, right, right.
No, no, step only, step
only, come on, come on.
Here we go and no, no, no, no.
- What, what?
- It's the pool, it's
the pool, the pool.
- Jesus Christ.
(Simon grunts)
- Thank you for coming.
You are four hours late.
- I know.
- Man.
- I'm sorry.
- We thought you had
some kind of change
of heart or something and-
- No, I, I wanna tell the truth.
- Angels.
- You're an angel.
- All right.
- Okay.
- You been drinking?
- No, just a glass of
wine to calm my nerves.
- Okay, that's fine,
that's good, no, it's fine
to have a glass.
They say one glass
a day's healthy.
All right, you start
live streaming.
- We're live, baby.
- Everyone settle,
we're going live.
You go first, you come with me,
you're the caboose.
There we go.
Hello, everyone, right in here.
You guys can go ahead, Carol,
we got seats for you
and you can take
the one that's kind
of further towards the window.
What is, when did
you put up this?
- It's nice, right?
I put it up this morning.
- Yeah, I think it's great.
I think we should take it down.
- No can do, no can do,
it's free publicity.
- No, but I want you
to hear me right now.
This is the most important
moment of my life.
- Our life.
- Our life.
- And I want this
taken down right now.
- Changes.
Don't tear it, don't tear it.
- Yep, yep, yep.
- [Simon] I'm just gonna let-
- You can fold
that up over there.
(Rick clears throat)
Good afternoon.
My name is Rick Klingman.
This, of course,
is Simon Tarnum.
We are here today to talk
about Antonio Kelly-Zhang,
who is running for
Congress right here
in California's 40th district.
And I, I wanna be clear.
When Simon and I began
this investigation,
we, uh, we went into
it with an open mind
and we were not prepared
to find out what we did.
Now, without any further ado,
I'm gonna introduce
Carol Ouistablufen
and she has a story
to tell, Carol.
- Thank you, thank you.
(cameras click)
- Hi.
I'm Carol, um-
- Speak up, speak up.
- Sorry.
From 2005 to 2008,
I was classmates
with Antonio Kelly-Zhang.
One night in our dorm,
there were some
antisemitic references made
in regard to humanities
professor, Allen Silverstein.
They were hateful
and deeply insulting
to Professor Silverstein,
his religion and his culture.
These antisemitic
comments were made by me.
(cameras click)
Yeah, I did them.
I said the words that
were anti the Jews.
I think I'm not a happy person.
I have a, I have a little
bit of a drinking problem.
I spend 16 hours
a day on Facebook
and just sit around
all day glugging wine
and talking sh*t.
I think I'm just angry about
how my life turned out.
I want to apologize to all
of you, especially Antonio.
That felt good, thanks.
Where's my phone, I
should check Facebook.
- [Rick] You guys are
just gonna leave now?
Yeah, go ahead.
- We are.
- Thank you guys.
- Thanks for having us.
- Thank you so much.
At this point, we would like
to open it up to any
questions you might have.
- Yeah, yeah, what was that?
Because it seems like Mr.
Kelly-Zhang hasn't done
anything bad at all
and you all are just, in
fact, desperate for attention.
- I mean, look, look, you
know what the thing is,
this is not even the only thing.
There was, this is,
it's part of a mosaic.
- One of a hundred
we got for you today.
- Yeah, this guy-
- Just scratchin'
the surface, people.
- Yeah, what are the other ones?
- We have heard that allegedly
he molested a co-worker.
- Okay, who's
accusing him of this?
- His name is Fred Zurtz.
- Don't say his last name.
- He said that he, he got
his penis snapped back.
- What does that mean?
- By Antonio, he said exactly-
- Here's, here's-
- Let me clarify.
- Why was he naked at work?
- He wasn't naked.
- He wasn't.
- He wasn't.
- He was not naked.
- We asked the same thing.
- He was wearing sweatpants.
- Good question.
- He worked at Lavashe
Restaurant in Beverly Hills.
- So he had to go
under the waistband.
- He was wearing sweats at work
and he alleges that Antonio-
- Pulled the, pulled the
d*ck and snapped it back.
- There's no way that happened.
- He pulled the d*ck and
snapped it back, that's what-
- Is this the same Fred Zurtz,
who was picked up
for masturbating
in Hollywood on Tuesday?
(reporters laugh)
- It is a, it is
a, it was actually-
- I do not believe so, no.
- That is a different-
- What a waste of our time.
- It's not a waste of your time.
- That's number two, we've got
plenty, just wait, buckle up.
- There was a sex tape.
- Oh, my gosh.
- We don't have-
- Show it to us.
- We do not have-
- You wanna see it?
- We, we-
- Who else wants to see it?
- We don't have a sex tape.
- So, now you're accusing
someone of making a sex tape
and saying you have
it in your possession.
- No.
- Show it to us.
- Okay.
- Whoa, that's a
little loud, okay.
- He's gonna play it,
he's gonna play it.
- [Reporter] That's insane.
- Dude, that's not
even a deep fake,
it's just a fake.
- It's a deep real.
- You guys are clowns.
- We're clowns.
- You're a clown,
you're a clown.
- You're a f*cking clown.
- You're a clown, don't swear.
- You're a f*cking clown.
- You're a clown.
- Those glasses, you look
like a f*ckin' clown.
What's everybody laughing at.
No, you're all f*ckin' clowns.
Because we're doing
your job up here.
You think this is fun for us?
You think we like
doing this? No.
- What you're doing is wrong.
- But you know what what
you do is wrong, Jessica.
Every time I f*cking see you-
- Get out of my face.
- Jesus, come on, Jess.
- Oh!
- Are you okay?
Are you okay?
Are you okay?
(Simon grunts)
- Yes, I'm okay.
- It doesn't matter.
- You.
- Come on, guys.
- Didn't even hurt.
And I have to go to the
bathroom, and that's,
and it didn't hurt.
- Simon, Simon, wait.
This press conference
is over, Simon.
Simon, Simon, wait.
- No!
- Simon.
Simon, We're fine.
Simon, listen to me.
- [Simon] You know what,
we're f*ckin' losers.
- No, don't say that.
- No, no, no, no, oh, God.
(Rick grunts)
(playful suspenseful music)
- [Simon] I'm sorry,
I need my mom.
- Simon.
Simon.
Agh!
Enough of the f*ckin' movie.
(suspenseful music)
I know you, I know you.
Yeah, Antonio
Kelly-Zhang won by a lot.
Did I enjoy watching
him do a little skit
at the Oscars with
Jeremy Rinner,
my favorite Avenger, no.
I've been doing
so much reflection
and, and working
on myself so much
and trying to figure out
how I can still deliver
the truth to people and
luckily I figured out
the perfect way.
Podcast, I started
my own podcast.
- Welcome back to
"Maximum Truth Cast,"
the only podcast
where we discuss
what's actually going
on in our country.
We are streaming audio,
we are streaming video
and I'm going to beg
you to please subscribe
to my channel.
Okay, every time I put out
one of these videos, ah, sh*t.
- [Director] What happened?
- Damn power cord
finally gave out on me.
Does anyone feel like
going to Radio Shack?
Marco and I are actually not
working together anymore,
which is, uh, yeah,
sad to be honest.
He was a really great employee.
I mean, I still see him nonstop.
Literally refused to
move out, he squatted.
And financially we both realized
it made more sense to
stay roommates, you know.
And I gotta say,
Andre's a nice guy.
Have Simon and I been talking?
We have spoken, we have
texted, we've emailed, DMs,
but we have not seen each
other since the hotel,
since, uh, the incident.
When I, when I got
pushed on the stairs.
We are in Ontario Valley
minimum security prison.
I've spent a lot of times
in prisons, unfortunately.
'Cause of clients
and some friends
and, uh, one family member.
- So, basically what
happened was these guys
that I partnered up
with on Shredded,
put something in
one of the batches,
some kind of additive,
I think it was consistent
with methamphetamine,
I don't really know, but, uh,
yeah, a bunch of people got sick
and guess who got charged?
This guy. Seven months.
- There he is, my man.
- Hey.
- Come on, give me a hug.
- I'm not allowed to go
past the yellow line,
you gotta come here.
- Oh, oh, yeah,
okay, no problem.
Come on.
- What's going on, Rick.
- [Guard] No touching.
- Yeah.
- Sorry.
- Sorry about that.
- Sit down.
- Welcome.
- Huh?
- You look incredible.
- I know.
- Maybe I should go to prison.
- Hey, prison looks
good on some people.
- It does.
- You bring what I asked for?
- I did.
So, here's the deal.
- Yeah.
- It's in my left
sock and I think
you should start
sneezing or something
and then I can, when that
guard walks past us again
I'm gonna just do
a little hand off.
- Oh, there's literally
no need to do that.
It's a minimum security,
a detention center,
you can just pass it to me.
- Oh-
- You're allowed to
get stuff, right.
- Here we go.
This was unnecessary.
- Yeah, you wear your big socks.
- Big socks to bring
you chicken breasts
as requested right there.
- Those are, uh, those are
raw, those are pretty raw.
- Yeah.
- You didn't cook them?
- Did you want me to?
- Yeah, I can't
cook them in here.
What do you think I have
like a f*ckin' stove?
- Oh, my God.
- Olive oil.
- I am so sorry.
Okay, here's the deal. I'm
gonna put them back in my sock.
- No, no, no.
- I'll bring them back.
- Honestly, it's not worth it
and I'm kind of desperate. I'll,
I can put it in the toilet,
it might be cold
enough, they might keep.
Fine, I'll figure
it out, you know.
I actually wanna talk
to you about something
that I didn't really
wanna say over the phone,
but-
- I'm listening.
- Yeah, yeah, it's just
kind of too important.
- [Rick] Yeah, go for it.
- So, I been doing
some thinking.
I met this guy in
here named Uri.
Used to be special
forces in Belarus, okay?
- Oh, Belarus.
- His brother-in-law,
this guy named Ivan
runs a bunch of tire
centers in the valley.
So, we're talking deep pockets.
- Oh, yeah, he's got tire money.
- Yeah, yeah. I'm thinking
he makes the perfect bank
when we set up our new shop.
- Oh, yeah.
- You know what I'm saying?
Dude, the day I get outta here,
we start our new outfit,
full scale
intelligence operation.
I'm talking like, like
a whole nother level.
These fucks are never gonna
know what hit 'em, huh?
- [Rick] Yes.
- We're gonna take
those dudes down.
Those fucks who
f*ckin' embarrassed us.
- No, no, no, no, hey, listen.
This sounds amazing.
- Revenge mission.
- You're doing a lot
of planning, huh?
- [Simon] Yeah, dude.
- Well, I'm, I'm down.
- Yeah?
- Of course, man.
We get to get the
team back together,
get the band back together.
- Get that band,
yeah, rock and roll.
- Not the team, the
band back together.
- All right, well,
listen, I got, uh,
I got pottery in about
five minutes, but, um-
- Oh, wow, pottery.
Sounds good.
- It was good to
see you, though.
Come on, come on,
give me a goodbye.
- Whoo!
- Why not.
- [Guard] No touching.
- Sorry.
- All right.
- That was our first good one.
- Be good.
- I miss you, don't
forget your chicken.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Are you sure you
don't want me to cook it
and bring it back?
- No, this is better.
This'll be better.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- If one thing, I think raw,
it might be more protein.
I think cooking it
burns off the protein.
Let's try it.
- Cook that chicken.
(Rick sighs)
- [Director] How
was it seeing Simon?
- It was fine.
I just don't think
Simon's learned anything.
You know, I (sighs),
I hope he's okay.
It's a tough world out there
and he's just a kid.
I wish him the best.
- [Director] So, you're not
gonna work with him again?
- Oh, no, for sure I am, yeah.
No, I mean, you gotta
stay in the game.
You know, when you
stay in the game,
I'm working with great people
and you just keep talking
and if you talk long enough,
your message will get out.
- [Director] What
is your message?
- Whatever I'm
paid to say it is.
And I'll say it with pride.
(phone dings)
Oh, uh-oh.
I got a little pickup.
- [Director] How you you
been driving for Uber?
- Uh, three months.
I love it.
Love it, great company.
Only company I
will ever work for.
Where the hell am I?
Looking out the window
at a world on fire
It's plain to see
the end is near
Seen all the sights
Tired of the lights
So you can let
me off right here
This town's getting crowded
Truth's been shrouded
I think it's time to
change up the sound
Yeah, the wheels
keep turning
The flames gettin' higher
Another cycle goes around
Face in the mirror,
all skin and bones
Bloodshot eyes and
a heart of stone
Never again, I'd
rather be alone
Think I'm gonna
just stay home
And make art, not friends
I love saying no
to all the yes men
Just to see the
look on their face
I love how everybody
knows what's best
But nobody knows their place
Sucker every second,
stack 'em up to the sky
For every winner there's
a hundred that d*ed
So you get yours
and stay outta mine
Here's to the memories,
where do I sign
Face in the mirror,
all skin and bones
Bloodshot eyes and
a heart of stone
Never again, I'd
rather be alone
Think I'm gonna
just stay home
(playful suspenseful music)
(playful suspenseful music)
(playful suspenseful music)
(playful suspenseful music)
(playful suspenseful music)
(playful suspenseful music)