04x02 - Death in a Funny Position Pt. 2

[bunniefuu]

MAN: Last week
on Benson...

Yeah, remember
we had James K. Cannon
to dinner a while ago?

BENSON: Yeah, yeah, go on.

Well, he offered me
the use of his yacht,

off the California coast,

anytime we want to.

When are you
gonna learn, Cannon?

We are a big organization.

You can run,
but you can't hide.

There's a knife
in your back!

(SCREAMS)

What?

Come on, Governor,
buddy, come on!

What's all this racket?
I'm trying to get some sleep.

(SCREAMING)

Shh!

Shut up, shut up.

(WEAKLY) Am I dead?

No, sir, you're fine.

He's not fine.

He's got a knife
stuck in him.

Kraus, will you
be quiet?

No one ever died
of a punctured book.

Oh.

Oh, the book
saved my life.

Did I hear
someone screaming?

Ja, it was me.

It's all Benson's fault.

He und the Governor
were fooling around
with a book und a knife.

Oh, are you two
playing detective now?

Sir, can't we just
leave this for
the authorities?

Clayton, we're not
playing around.

Someone tried to k*ll
the Governor.

Oh, my.

Oh, no.

Oh, this is terrible.
I'll probably be next.

You're gonna be next what?

There's a maniac on board.
I see his plan now.

He's going to k*ll
us all off in order
of social importance.

Keep your voice down.

Sure, you don't care.

You'll be the last to go.

I don't understand
why anybody would
want to k*ll the Governor.

Me, neither,
with this clown so handy.

He knew
I had the book.

Pete. Oh, there you are.

What's going on?

Somebody tried
to k*ll the Governor,

but the book
saved his life.

(DENISE GASPS)

This is Cannon's journal.

Let me show you
something.

"Dr. Prescott,
$,.

"L------.

"Captain Heckenbeck,
$,.

"G------!"

Shh!

"Julian Winston,
$,.

"B------."

You see?

I don't see.

Come on, Clayton,
get with it.

These are the winners
of the publishers
clearing house sweepstakes.

No, no, no, Benson.

These are character names
from Cannon's movies.

Dr. Prescott was
the scientist in
Town of Mutants,

and Captain Heckenbeck
was the Air Force officer
that sacrificed himself

in Radioactive Women,

and Julian Winston
was the evil playboy in...

Shh!
Carton of Blood!

Carton of Blood? Yuck!

These must have been
some sort of a secret code.

Maybe Cannon
was paying blackmail.

Really? To a bunch of
fictional characters?

No, no, no.

The numbers refer
to Swiss bank accounts,

where people
put their money to
avoid paying taxes.

And he knows
that I know.

And he tried to k*ll me
to get the book back.

(GASPS)
Let's put the book back.

Then when the k*ller takes it,
we nab him.

A ridiculous plan.

The k*ller's not stupid enough
to look for the book now.

I don't know.

He didn't throw
the dagger overboard.

What dagger?

Nobody ever
tells me anything.

You mean the dagger
with the skull on it.

That's right.
It's back in the collection.

(GASPS)
That doesn't make
any sense.

You sure?

Well, let me get
some clothes on,

and I'll take you up there
and show you myself.

Well, I'd like to see it.

You see, Benson?

Look, there's the dagger.

The k*ller
brought it back.

He did a very good job
of cleaning it.

What are you looking for,
fingerprints?

No, blood.

(HICCUPS)

What's the matter
with you?

I've got the hiccups.

Governor, my nerves are
on edge enough already,

so please
don't hiccup.

Well, that's... (HICCUPS)
...easy for you to say.

Hold your breath.

Oh, that never works.

Scare me.

If you're not
scared already,

I don't know
what I can do about it.

There's somebody coming,
turn out the lights!

(HICCUPS)

Looking for something?

My glasses.

Oh, it's you.

I should have known.
You were always
so handy with fire.

Who is it?
I don't know.

So, uh,
you know my work?

Oh, that job you did
for Cannon on
the furniture warehouse...

Smooth.

It looked exactly like
an electrical fire.

That job put a lot of
insurance money
in Cannon's pocket.

(HICCUPS)

Uh, you wouldn't
happen to know

Where Cannon has
that money, would you?

Maybe.

What's it worth
for you to find out?

That money is owed to us.

Don't be stupid.

Cannon was
very stupid.

(HICCUPS)
Shh!

Hey, I'm just looking
to make a deal.

What kind of a deal?

If I find the money,

you get what
Cannon owed you
and I get the rest.

And nobody hassles me.

You got a deal.

How do I know
I can trust you?

What a stupid question.

Shh!

Felix, we always
keep our word...

And we like other people
to do the same.

(HICCUPS)
Shh!

All right.

I know he had a book.
It's written in code.

It tells where
all the money is.

Then your job
is very simple.

You find the book
and bring it to me.

Huh?

Nash, what are you
doing down here?

I was just...
Boozing!

Now, let me
give you a warning.

Nobody on my crew
drinks on duty.

Aye, aye, sir.
Get back topside.

Wait a minute.

Have you seen Mr. Musker?

He's not in his cabin.

No. No, I ain't
seen him.

Well, if you see him,
tell him his glasses
are on the bar.

Aye, aye.

They're gone.

You know, I think
you're right, just
from holding my breath.

No, I was referring to...
Never mind.

(HICCUPS)
Let's get out of here.

We can get out
on the deck, Benson...

Get some air.

I'd sure like to know
where Musker is

before we go
stumbling around
out there in the dark.

Oh, Musker's
not the m*rder*r.

It's Nash
we have to worry about,

and he's
with the captain.

BENSON: It's not Nash.

Well, it's certainly
not Musker.

Maybe it's that actress.

Gabby?

She would never do
anything like that.

(SCOFFS)

If she could make
a movie like
Radioactive Women,

I wouldn't put
anything past her.

Now listen, Benson,
just because you don't
like science fiction,

there's no reason
to take it out on Gabby.

I mean, I don't like
basketball, but
I'm not blaming Lucas.

All right.
It's not Gabby.

Maybe it's like
Miss Kraus said.

It could be the captain.
He does have strange eyes.

Yeah, but you can't
convict somebody

because they've got
strange eyes.

No, I guess not.

It's hard enough
to convict them

when you've got
the crime on videotape.

(BOTH LAUGH)

Wouldn't it be funny

if this turned out to be
somebody we would
never suspect, like Clayton?

(LAUGHS)

I don't find
that amusing.

Well, it's just
a thought.

Shh!

I can express
my opinion.

No, shh,
somebody's coming.

Quick, into the boat.

(DOOR CLOSES)

Where'd they go?

I don't know.

Let's get out of here.
Yeah.

Oh!

GABRIELLE: I have some money
you could use to go away!

And then I can join you there.

LUCAS: You really think
I did it, don't you?

Well, it doesn't matter!

We're both free now!

Some people might think
you had just as much reason
to k*ll him as I did.

I don't care what
some people think.

I just wanna
be with you.

You didn't wanna be
with me four years ago.

I made a mistake.

Which mistake was that?
Marrying me? Or divorcing me?

What are you two
doing here?

We couldn't sleep.

Poor Jimmy.

MUSKER: Yeah,
it's a terrible thing.

Terrible.

LUCAS: I can tell you're
really concerned, Musker.

Look, coach.

Oh!

I thought everybody
was in bed.

Oh, Miss Kraus!

What's she doing
in there?

Probably her
midnight prowl.

We've got to get her
out of there.

I was afraid
you'd say that.

KRAUS: When I was a kid
in Bavaria, we had beer.

It was okay for the kids
to have beer in those days.

Oh, Benson, Governor.

I was just explaining
to everybody

how we didn't have
strawberry pop in Bavaria.

Miss Kraus, we'll be happy
to walk you to your cabin.

What the hell
is going on here?

I thought I told you all
to stay in your cabins.

Uh, actually,
we were all
a little nervous.

One of us
isn't nervous at all.

Frankly, I was just
looking for my glasses.

Are these them?

Thanks.

(SCREAMING)

He's dead!
He's dead!

Another one dead.

No, no, he's not.

Denise hit him
with a fish.

He's just unconscious.

What the blazes is going on?

Why did she hit him
with a fish?

They're very
hard to trace.

I saw him
coming out of
Cannon's cabin.

I said hello to him,
and he jumped me.

I heard the ruckus
and rushed to Peter's aid.

Then Denise came out
and saved us.

She slugged him
with that stuffed fish

that was hanging
over her door.

Good thing Cannon
didn't hunt moose.

Watch it, buster.

(SCREAMING)

What happened?

I don't know.

I didn't see
anything happen.

Neither did I,
but he's dead.

I can't stand it anymore.

Everywhere I look,
there's another body.

I am going to my bed.

Safest place on the boat.

Well, uh,

don't you think
we should do something
with the, uh,

corpus delicti?

Oh! Oh, oh, yeah.

I think Clayton's
quite right.

We should put him
someplace more
comfortable.

You could put him
in the wine room.

It's kept cool.

(GRUNTS)

Hey, would you
get over here, please,
and give me a hand?

Come on, Pete.

(ALL GRUNTING)

Whoa.

Wait a minute,
wait a minute.

Benson, there's one thing
I don't understand
about all this.

I mean, who would
want Musker dead?

I don't know.

And how did
they k*ll him?

I don't know.

And what's all this
got to do with Cannon?

I don't know!

Questions,
questions, questions,

and we don't have
any answers.

We don't know anything.

We know three things.
GOVERNOR: What?

Musker is dead.
Right.

Musker is not
the k*ller.

Aye.

And Musker is heavy!

Oh!

I'm... I'm sorry.

Wait, wait, wait.

Wait here, wait here!
I got it!

Is that it?
Yeah.

Okay, uh, yeah,
I'll get the door.

(SIGHS)
Okay.

Okay, let's go.
All right, here we go.

(ALL GRUNT)

Yeah!

PETE: Wait, hold it!

Come on, come on!
Come on!

PETE: I can't!
There's a rack of wine
in the way!

(BOTH EXCLAIM)

(BOTH GRUNT)

Pete!

Oh, come on,
there's a lot of wine in here.
Come on, hurry up.

All right, all right,
I'll help you.

No, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait!

PETE: Oh!

Hurry up, will you?

PETE: It's very heavy!

CLAYTON:
Okay, okay, stand there...
Wait, I'll help.

(GRUNTS)

Right, I'm here.

CLAYTON:
Okay, go right and...

PETE: (SCREAMS) Ow!

CLAYTON:
Let's pull him now. Okay...

Whoa!

What?

PETE: We're stuck!

BENSON:
I'll go out and see.

Here we go.

Okay, now pull.

(GLASS SHATTERS)

(SCREAMS)

They got Benson!

Oh, Benson!

(CRYING)

It's all right,
it's all right.

It's all right!
It's all right, Kraus!

He's alive!
He's alive!

Not for long.
You're choking me!

Miss Kraus, is all this
screaming really necessary?

Look, Clayton,
you deal with stress
your way,

I'll deal with it mine.

Good thing Cannon's dead.

I doubt that's what
they're gonna put
on his tombstone.

No, I mean the wine.

I broke about
six bottles of it.

You know how he was
about his special collection.

Oh. Musker's
going to his grave
smelling like a wino.

A very rich wino.

Say that again.

A very rich wino.

No, not you. You!

What?
Say what you
just said.

What, you mean the wine?

I said Cannon would k*ll me
if he found out that

I broke six bottles
of his special collection.

Of course, of course,
the wine collection.

Benson, what are you
talking about?

I can't
explain now.

Get Denise
and go up
to the lounge.

Keep everybody
up there.

Kraus, you come
along with me.
We'll be along.

What is this all about?

Come on, Clayton,
before we get blamed
for breaking the wine.

All right, Benson,
what do you
want with me?

Kraus, I need your help.

You know
who the k*ller is,
don't you?

I think so.

Come on, help me pick out
a bottle of wine.

Yeah, but shouldn't you
tell me who it is
before we celebrate?

Looks like
everybody's here.

Everybody living.

I hope you know
what you're doing, lad.

I think I have
some answers.

Or at least some very
interesting questions.

But this much
we can all agree on...

Someone in this room
is a m*rder*r.

Well, if that's your
astounding revelation,

I must say
I'm underwhelmed.

Benson,
tell us who did it.

Well, Pete,
let me first
lay out the facts,

and then you can all
decide for yourselves.

What facts?
Where did you get any facts?

Because I was
paying attention.

For instance,
when Mr. Cannon was k*lled,

myself, Clayton,
and the Governor
were together,

so we alibi each other.

Everyone else
was unaccounted for.

So, most of us
don't have an alibi.

That doesn't prove diddly.

Roy's right.

And besides, we were
all in the room when
Musker was poisoned.

Anybody could have
poisoned his drink.

No.

Remember, we found out
it wasn't his drink.

I think what k*lled him
was habit.

Oh?

He had a habit of
turning blue and dying?

No, he had a habit of
putting his eyeglasses
in his mouth.

When Musker died,
he had his eyeglasses
in his mouth.

(SCREAMING)

What happened?

So I think it is possible

that someone poisoned
the earpiece.

Benson,
that's amazing.

It's just a theory.
A theory?

You mean you've been
making all this up?

Would you like
to test it out?

Oh, oh, well,
it seems plausible.

So Musker was poisoned
with his glasses.

And Cannon...

Was stabbed in the back
with a knife.

There's a knife
in your back!

(SCREAMING)

This knife.

When Cannon was k*lled,

Musker seemed like
the best suspect.

But then Musker came up
with an airtight alibi...

He died.

So the question is,
who would want both

Cannon and Musker
out of the way?

Are you confessing
or asking a question?

Well, I think
I have the answer.

Lucas k*lled Cannon

so that he couldn't sell
his basketball team.

And then Musker
found out about it,
and he had to k*ll Musker.

That fits, that fits.

Lucas knew about poisons.

He worked in his uncle's
bug-k*lling business.

BENSON: Very good, Clayton.

Okay, coach,
you get to be a suspect.

Great.

I'm gonna need a job.

Well, then
I'm a suspect, too.

No.

BENSON:
I'm afraid so, Governor.

If you'll remember,
she's in love with Lucas.

So why would
a woman divorce
the man she loves?

I have a feeling
Cannon had something
to do with that divorce.

He was a miserable
human being.

He wanted me,

and he threatened
to ruin Roy's career
if he didn't get me.

But that doesn't
give her any reason
to k*ll Musker.

Musker gave her
the reason.

He was accusing
the man she loved
of the m*rder.

Okay, okay,
you convinced me.

One of them did it.

I wouldn't exactly say
your hands are clean.

Him, too?
Yes.

Nash knew
about the money

that Cannon had smuggled
out of the country.

In fact, he helped him
get it by committing
arson for him.

But he felt he deserved
a bigger piece of the pie,

and with Cannon dead,
it was all his.

Except Musker came along,

and wanted
a piece of the action.

Congratulations, Benson.

You've narrowed it down
to practically everybody.

Wait a minute.
What about the captain?

He was always saying
bad things about Cannon
behind his back.

Yeah, well, he just
wasn't my kind of fella,

always acting as if
he owned the world.

But that don't prove
I k*lled him.

But you do have
to admit, Captain,

that you don't have an alibi.

And you do know
your way around
this boat pretty well.

I'm afraid
we'll have to keep
your name on the list.

Benson, maybe I'm wrong,

but it seems to me
we're right back
where we started from.

Everybody had a motive
to k*ll Cannon.

And most everybody
had one to k*ll Musker.

And we all had
a chance to do it.

You're forgetting
one thing...

The attempt on your life.

Well, why would anybody
want to k*ll me?

Because you found
something the k*ller
didn't want you to find.

That's right.
Cannon's journal.

You tried to k*ll me.

I didn't try to k*ll you.

You knew
I had the journal!

If I had known
you had the journal,

I would have tried to...
Take it back from you.

He's your man, Benson.

Take him away!

I wasn't talking about
the journal.

I was talking about
the dagger.

Right.

What?

You're the one
that discovered

that the dagger
had been returned,

and that information
pointed the finger
at the k*ller,

so you had
to be eliminated.

Pointed the finger at whom?

Why?

Pointed at the person

who stood to gain
the most from
Cannon's death.

You want to
tell us

why this dagger is
so important, Gabrielle?

I didn't k*ll anybody,

and I don't give a damn
about this knife!

No, you wouldn't.

Because on its own,
this knife doesn't
mean very much.

Except it does
complete a collection.

And as far as I know,

only one person
was passionate
about that collection.

The same person
who was passionate
about a collection

of rare wines.

Kraus, would you
hand me that bottle?

Sure.

Oh!

Nice catch, Captain.

Or should I
call you "Jimmy"?

(ALL GASP)

I would have been
very embarrassed

if this hadn't been a wig.

Very clever, Mr. Dubois.

Thank you.

I'm not following
any of this.

It's very simple, Governor.

(DENISE GASPS)

I needed the money...

And I needed
to be someplace...

Where Musker's men
couldn't come looking for me.

(DENISE GASPS)

What better place than dead?

And what better witness
to your death

than a Governor with
a reputation for honesty?

But I wasn't planning
to k*ll anyone.

Not really.

But you also weren't planning
on Musker showing up.

Yes.

That's the last thing
I needed,
him snooping around.

Then why did you
bring us?

I should have thought
it was evident.

It wouldn't be much
of a m*rder without
suspects, would it?

I don't get it.

What happened
to the real captain?

There was no real captain.

We heard Cannon talk to him
on the intercom.

That bothered me at first,

but then I remembered
how loud and clear

we could hear
the captain's voice
on the intercom.

CAPTAIN: Sometime late
tomorrow morning.

Later, when the captain called
the Governor on the intercom,

you could barely hear him
over the roar of the ocean.

CAPTAIN: We're gonna have to
wait until tomorrow morning

to notify the authorities.

So the first time
it was a recording.

Yes, a very convenient way
to be two places at once.

Sorry to spoil your plan,
Mr. Cannon.

Fortunately, I'm flexible.

(DENISE SCREAMS)

Holy Moses, he's got a g*n!

Yes, Kraus,
we can see that.

What are you going to do?

Well, it's
a spur-of-the-moment idea,

but I thought I'd put
you all in a lifeboat.

With any kind of luck
you'll be picked up,

and I'll have a head start.

Now, if you'll all
just come with me...

(DENISE SCREAMS)

I couldn't sleep.
I was having a nightmare.

Oh, it's
all right, Katie.

Everything is
all right now.

What should I
do with him?

Let's lock him
in the luggage room.

Um, Governor,
you can let go of me now.

It's all over.

Oh.

Yes, I guess it is.

I have to go
speak to Roy.

Oh, Benson,
you're amazing!

Thank you, Denise.

It was pretty
impressive, Benson.

I don't know what you two
are so gaga over.

Anybody with half a brain
in his head

could have
solved this m*rder.

Oh, did you solve it?

No.

I rest my case.