05x15 - The Lost Weekend

[bunniefuu]

( Intercom Buzzes )

Hello.

There's A Ray Palomino
Here To See You.

Would You Send Him In,
Please?

Mr. Palomino.

Yeah.

How Are You?

Make Yourself
Comfortable.

Thank You,
Doctor.

The People Who
Take My Messages

Said You Wanted To See Me.

Yes.

You're A Baby Doctor.

Yeah.

No Matter What

Any Woman Told You

It Wasn't Me.

That Isn't Why...

That Isn't Why I Asked You
To Come Down Here.

Do You Know A Louisa Sanchez?

Louisa Sanchez?

She Says
That She's Your Granddaughter.

Oh, Yeah.

Yeah, But I Haven't Seen Her
Since She Was A Little Thing.

Okay.

Me And
My Family

We Haven't Been In Touch
For A Long Time.

I Was A Professional Boxer.

Ray Palomino?

I Never Fought Under
My Own Name, Doc.

When I Got
Into Boxing

"Kid Chocolate"
Had Been Used Already.

That Name.

Yeah, The Name.

So I Became "Kid Caramel."

I Lost Straight Fights
Under That Name.

Then I Went Down To Cuba.

Fought Down There For A While.

I Fought Under The Name
Of "Kid Jalapeno."

But You Didn't

Call Me To Talk About Boxing.

No, I Wanted You To Know
Your Granddaughter Louisa

Is Having A Baby.

I Didn't Know She Was Married.

Well, She Isn't.

See, You Can Have A Child
And Not Be Married.

Where's The Father?

He's Gone.

Dead?

No, Just Flat Out Disappeared.

We Don't Know

Where The Rest
Of The Family Is

And You're The Only One
Who Responded.

So, I'm Pretty Sure
She Will Deliver Tonight.

Let Me Get This Straight.

The Husband Disappeared.

You Tried To Find
Some Family Members

And I'm The Only One
You Could Find?

Right.

You're Trying To Set Me Up.

As Many Times As You've Been
Knocked Out, I'm Sure You Can

Recognize A Setup.

Louisa Is Alone And Frightened.

Let Me Tell You Something.

I've Been Poor All My Life.

And Now, That's All
Going To Change

Because I Finally Met Somebody.

Met Me A Beautiful Woman.

Her Name Is Helen.

Owns A Beauty Parlor.

I Lay This Baby Thing On Her

That's The End
Of My Smooth Sailing.

You Understand Me?

My Boat Will Sink.

Are You Finished?

Yeah, I'm Finished.

No Baby.

No Baby?

All Right?

Do Me A Favor.

This Number We Reached You At--
Is This Where You Live?

No, That's Clancy's Gym.

They Take My Messages.

Write Down Your Home Address
And Phone Number

So I Can Reach You.

You Write It Down.

You Can Understand
Your Own Writing.

All Right.

It's ...

th Street...

Astoria.

The Telephone Number

Is - .

Thank You Very, Very Much.

It Would Be Nice If You
Could Come To The Hospital

Because I'm Pretty Sure
She Will Deliver Tonight.

Well, I'll Try.

Okay, Thank You.

Thank You.

=G=Gñoñ= ? Atonight.Ñ@Oññ@O=@O=@O Oñ@Oñoñw=Oo Oño= =@N

Sometime Tonight.

You're Ready,
Right?

I'm Ready.

She's Fired Up.

She's Fired Up.

All Right.

Nurse Gilmore?

May I Go In Now?

Yes.

Thank You.

And Incidentally,
Thank You For Being So Kind

To My Granddaughter.

You're Welcome.

I Got Somebody
To Come To See You.

Wait A Minute.

I Know What You're Thinking.

You're Saying To Yourself
She Don't Look Nothing Like Me.

I Never Said...

Ah-Taht-Tah-Tah-Taht.

But She Does Look Like
Her Grandmother

And She Is Beautiful.

And You Better

Know What
You're Doing, Doc.

You Didn't Just Get Out
Of Medical School, Did You?

I Have One More
Year To Go.

You Okay?
( $ (

I Ain't Seen No Member
Of My Family In Years

And In There
Lies My Granddaughter.

She's About To Make Me

A Great-Grandfather.

Do You Know If It's
A Boy Or A Girl?

Tell Me What You Want

And I'll Get It.

You're Joking.

Things Have Changed Now.

All You Do
Is Put In The Order

We Deliver.

What Do You Want?

A Great-Granddaughter.

You Got It.

She's Going To Have
One Heck Of A Time

Trying To Raise That Kid
All By Herself.

Why Don't You Talk
To Your Fiancee

And See How She Feels About
Helping With The Baby?

What Fiancee?

The Lady, Helen,
With The Beauty Parlor.

Smooth Sailing.

I Made All That Up.

Pardon Me?

I Made It Up

To Keep The Women
From Going After Me.

I'm Confused.

I'd Like To Help

But What Do I Know About
Raising Babies?

No Problem.

We Have Pamphlets.

There You Go.

Take These Pamphlets,
Read Up On It.

That Will Show You A Whole Lot.

As You Go, You Can Read More.

Why Do I Need
Pamphlets Anyway?

I Can Learn More
By Going In The Park

And Seeing A Lady
With A Baby Carriage

And Saying,
"How Do You Raise That Kid?"

She'd Tell Me.

I'll Learn More From Her
Than From Your Pamphlets.

Wait.

The Other Relatives.

If You Could Help Us
With The Names

I'd Appreciate It.

I'll Try To Think Of Somebody.

Do It Fast,
Because She'll Deliver Tonight.

Hey, I Told You
I'd Do It.

I'll Do The Best I Can.

When I Say I'll Do It,
I'll Do It.

You Understand Me?

Don't Get Pushy.

I Don't Like People
Pushing Me.

And Another Thing, Doc.

Instead Of Standing Out Here
Giving Me A Bad Time

How Come You Ain't In There
Doing What You're Supposed To Do

Which Is Take Care Of
My Granddaughter?

In Other Words,
Do Your Job, Doc.

Mrs. Gilmore.

Louisa Was So Happy To See Him.

He Was So Encouraging.

He Held Her Hand.

The Humanity Of That Man.

He Says,
"Good Evening, Mrs. Gilmore"

And She's Just Smiling
And He's Looking

And The Next Thing I Know
She Says

"And, Dr. Huxtable,
He's Such Humanity."

There Was A Man Who Worked
In Our Office Once

Who Acted Like That.

He Was Very Defensive And Nasty.

Was His Last Name Palomino?

I'm Trying
To Tell You Something.

If You Gave Him An Order Form
To Read

Like The Pamphlet You Tried
To Give Mr. Palomino

He'd Throw Them Back.

And He'd Never
Write Anything Down.

After Three Months,
We Discovered His Problem--

He Couldn't Read Or Write.

Mr. Palomino
Came To See You.

He Rang The Front Doorbell,
Right?

There's A Sign Outside
That Says

"Doctor's Office Downstairs."

The Man Cannot Read.

No, No.

Just Stop And Think
How Terrifying That Would Be

If You Had To Raise A Child
And You Couldn't Read.

Suppose The Child Came To You
With A Book

And Said, "Read This To Me."

You Could Never
Leave A Note

Or Read A Note.

I Feel Sorry
For The Man.

If He Can't Read

Then Why Is He
Picking On Me?

That's Easy.

Why?

Because You're Cute.

No, That Man Can Read And Write.

He's Just Nasty, That's All.

( Doorbell )

I'll Get It.

Mrs. Huxtable,
We Meet Again.

Mr. Palomino,
How Nice To See You.

Do Come In.

Thank You.

I'll Take
Your Coat And Hat.

Thank You.

That Is A Stunning Outfit.

Thank You.

You Know,
When I Was In Paris

Many, Many
Years Ago

There Was A Cafe In Montmartre

Where All The Musicians,
Artists, Models Would Gather.

All The Chic People Of Paris.

Josephine Baker
Walked Into That Club.

May I Say You
In That Outfit, Mrs. Huxtable

Would Have Fit In Exquisitely.

Thank You.

Did You Come Here
To Tell My Wife

She Looks Like Josephine Baker?

No, You Asked Me

To See If I Could Think
Of Any Names Of The Family.

I Made A List.

Aha.

So You Wrote Down
The List.

I Will Give This
To The Social Worker.

Thank You For Writing This
Down For Me.

May I See That List, Please?

Thank You.

I Have A Problem
With This Third Name.

I Can't Make Out
The Handwriting.

Well, Let Me...

My Word, I Seem To Have
Forgotten My Glasses.

Well, It Looks Like
It Could Be "Tom Mitchell."

Tom Mitchell?

It Is Tom Mitchell.

Louisa's Great-Uncle.

Are You Spelling This Tom
With One "A" Or Two?

That Would Be Two.

Thank You.

Well, Having Done
What I Was Asked To Do

I Take My Leave Of You Both.

It Is So Nice To Share
Your Company Again.

And, Doctor, May I Say Your Wife
Is Beautiful And Charming.

You Are Indeed A Lucky Man.

Thank You.

And I Put The Emphasis On Lucky.

Oh, Thank You,
Mrs. Huxtable.

How Kind Of You.

Thank You.

Till We Meet Again,
Perhaps In Paris.

Oh, My!

A Tout A L'heure.

Case Closed.

And I Should Have
Been In Paris.

Yeah.

That Man's Been Knocked Out
So Many Times

He Wouldn't Know If He Was

In Pittsburgh.

Stop!

Hey!

I Am Doing My Homework.

But I Said, "Hey!"

Touch Me Again,
And You're On The Floor.

I Have To Talk To You.

What?

Mom Said Mr. Palomino
Can't Read Or Write.

Really?

He's

And Spent His Life

Not Knowing How
To Read Or Write.

What Do
You Think?

About What?

We're Doing Homework
For No Reason.

We Can Do Fine Without
Reading Or Writing.

You Can't Stop Reading.

For The Rest Of Your Life,
You'd Read Like A Fourth Grader.

So?

Let's Say You're An Adult.

You Go To A Restaurant
With A Menu Full Of Big Words

That A Fourth Grader
Wouldn't Understand.

How Would
You Order?

I'd Point To The Next Table
And Ask For

What He's
Having.

What If You're
The Only Person There?

Then I'd Say

"Get Something Dead
And Cook It."

So You'd Be Able To Eat.

But You Would Never Get
A Good Job

With A Fourth-Grade Education.

Yes, I Would.

What Would You Do?

I'd Teach Third Grade.

The Social Worker
Got Back To Us.

They Can't Locate Anybody
On Mr. Palomino's List.

Most Of Them Moved Away
Years Ago.

We Tried.

One Other Thing.

Mr. Palomino Is Here.

Now We've Got Good News
And Bad News.

He Showed Up Two Hours Ago,
Bless His Heart.

He Is So Nervous.

He Said He Wanted To Be In
The Delivery Room With Louisa.

I Said He'd
Have To Wait

In The Lounge.

He Wasn't Allowed
In The Delivery Room.

He's Been Through A Lot Today.

Poor Man.

You Think Somebody Would
Get In Touch With You--

Let You Know
What's Going On.

I've Been Here For Two Hours.

Somebody Tell Me
Something.

Ahem.

Excuse Me.

What?

You're Making Me Very Nervous.

What Do You Mean?

This Constant Pacing.

Knock It Off.

Look, Mister.

I Am Years Old,
And I'm About To Have A Baby.

Wow!

How Old Is The Mother?

Twenty.

Twenty?!

Yeah.

My Girlfriend Is .

I Go Every Week
For Vitamin E sh*ts.

What Am I Going To Do
With A Baby?

How Am I Going
To Raise A Baby?

You Should Have Thought Of That
Before Fooling Around.

Get Involved With Women
Closer To Your Age.

I Am Involved With Women
My Own Age.

You Are?

With That Pregnant Woman
Lying In There?

I'm Shocked!

Who Do You Think You Are--
Ferdinand The Bull?

I Don't Want To Discuss This.

Well?

Great-Grandfather,
It's A Boy

Seven Pounds,
Eight Ounces.

All Right!

Congratulations.

But, Doc,
You Promised Me A Girl.

Sue Me.

How Is My Granddaughter?

She's Fine.

You Can See Them Soon.

That's Great.

Congratulations.

Wait A Minute.

I Want To Talk To You.

It's Okay.

I Want To Talk
To You, Man.

I Told You Once Before
Don't Get Pushy.

Let Me Say
What I Got To Say.

I'm A Lot Smarter
Than You Think I Am.

You're An Educated Man,
But I Got Street Smarts.

I Know That You And Your Wife
Found Out I Can't Read.

Yeah.

But I'm Years Old.

Who Cares?

I Do Not Care.

It's No Big Thing With Me.

Hey, Everybody.

My Name Is Ray Palomino,
I'm Years Old

And I Can't Read.

See?

It Don't Matter.

But I Will Say
One Last Thing To You.

Thank You Very Much.

You're Welcome.

In A Half Hour,
You Can See Them.

Round Three.

Great-Grandfather.

Yeah, I Can Dig It.

Hey, Grandpa.

You Really Don't
Know How To Read?

Not A Word.

I Used To Be An English Teacher.

I Could Teach You To Read.

You Teach Me
How To Read English

And I'll Teach You
How To Pronounce It Correctly.

You Got A Deal.

All Right.

"Once More Into The Breach,
Dear Friends, Once More."

"Oh, Gods And Worms,
What A Mockery."

Shall We Go See
My Great-Grandson?

Okay.

All Right.

Here We Go.

One Last Thing.

Do You Spell Tom
With One "A" Or Two?

Oh, We Got A Lot
Of Work To Do.

How Did It Go?

It Was Wonderful.

Mr. Palomino Is The Funniest
Person I've Ever Met

And One Of The Nicest.

He's A Great-Grandfather.

Baby Boy,
Seven Pounds, Eight Ounces.

And He Gave Me A Present.

I Told You He Was Charming.

Yes.

I Haven't Opened It.

I Waited Until
I Got Home.

He Was Telling Me How...

What Is This?

Try It On.

Good Evening.

My Name Is Mr. Palomino

And I Was Just Wondering...

Do You Spell Tom
With Four A's Or Two Z's?