05x03 - Rudy's All-Nighter

[bunniefuu]

Oh, No, Ooh.

My Favorite Wife
Is Home Early.

Goodness Gracious.

Not For Long.

Why?

I Got Go Back
To The Office.

I Got A Meeting
On The Hayward Case.

This Is The Third Time

You've Had To Work Late
On Those Haywards.

I'm Sick Of Them.

Let The Haywards Go To Jail.

No One Goes

To Jail When Defended
By Clair Huxtable.

I Have To Lie In That Bed
By Myself

Missing My Beautiful Wife.

And I Have To Say: "Where Is
My Clair, My Love Quilt?"

I See.

Yes.

You've Never Had To Leave
Our Bed To Work?

First Of All,
I Say To My Patients

"Please Do Not Go Into Labor
Until After : A.M.

"Then I Can Slip Out Of The Bed

And My Wife Will Not Miss Me."

A Bold Untruth.

I Go Up To That Bed
And You're Not There.

And I Look Over
And I See A Hole

In The Pillow.

And I Take
That Pillow

And I Bring It To Me
And I Hug It And I Cry.

Hi, Mom.
Hi, Dad.

Hi, Sweetie.
Hi.

I Need To Ask You Something.

Today At School, I Told Carolyn

That She Could Sleep
Over Friday Night.

Now I Need Your Permission.

Don't You Have
This Backwards?

You're Supposed To Ask
For Permission First.

What For?

You Always Say Yes.

I'm Just Being Polite.

You've Had A String
Of Friends Stay Over.

But, Mom, This Is Carolyn.

Can She Come, Please?

This Is The Last Sleep-Over
For Two Months, Understood?

Understood. Mom, Will You Make
Those Baked Apples?

I Might, I Don't Know.

Dad, You're Going To Do
That Funny Pirate, Aren't You?

Everybody Loves It

When You Do
The Funny Pirate.

Well, First Of All, I'm Not
A Professional Comedian.

You Understand?

And I Want You To Know
That I Can Just, Uh...

Not Be Funny Just
Because You Bring

Your Little Raggedy Friends
In Here, You Know.

I Mean, I Have To Feel Funny.

Do You Think You'll Feel
Funny On Friday Night?

I Don't Know.

I Just Don't...
I Don't Know.

Mom, I Know You'll Want To Make
Those Baked Apples.

And, Dad, I Know You'll Feel
Funny Friday Night.

Yes!

Bye.

I Thank All The Little Oranges
That Contributed

To Dr. Huxtable's Glass
Of Orange Juice.

Dad, Is Rudy Having
Another Sleep-Over?

Yeah.

Rudy Is Bad Enough As It Is.

Around Someone Else Her Age

She's Five Times Worse.

I Don't Want To Be Here.

Where Are You Going?

I'll Stay At Janet's.

Good, She Stayed Over Here
The Other Night.

She Owes You, So Go Ahead.

Okay.

Yes, Please.

There Is One Thing I'll Miss.

What?

The Pirate.

Your Funniest Bit.

The Only Thing I Like Better

Is When You Do The Foreign
Race Car Driver, Pierre Varoom.

I'm Not Too Sure I Want To Do
Pierre Varoom Or Anybody Else.

I Have To Feel Funny
To Do Things.

If You Don't,
They'll Be Disappointed.

Really?

Yeah.

Bye.

Okay, Take Care.

Pierre Varoom.

I'll Sit With These Kids,
Do Pierre Varoom

And They Don't Know
When To Stop.

If You Did Something Funny,
They Would Just Say:

"That Was Funny."

You Get In The Position,
They Keep Asking.

"Do It Again, Do It Again."

Your Back Is Out And They Still
Got Plenty Energy Left.

"Do It Again, Do It Again."

It's Ridiculous.

Say...

Dad, This Is Not
A Good Day.

Look At This.

An English Composition Paper.

I Thought Of Hiding It,
But I Said:

"No, He Might As Well
Know The Truth."

I Might As Well--
You Got A "D."

I Got A's In English Comp
In High School.

Look
At The Professor's Comments.

He Hated Every Sentence I Wrote.

"I Have Never Read Such Muddled
Thinking In My Life.

"You Use Too Many Words
To Express Your Thoughts

And Don't Understand
The Words You Use."

I Didn't Think I'd Have
Problems With This Class.

The Others Are The K*llers.

I've Got The Hardest Professors.

Whenever I Tell My Friends
What Teachers I Have, They Say:

"Oh, The Butcher;
Oh, No, The Assassin."

Dad, I'm Drowning.

Maybe I'm Not College Material.

You're Not Talking Like That.

The First Day Of Orientation,
The Dean Said:

"Look To Your Left,
Look To Your Right.

"One Of These People Will Not
Be Here At The End Of The Year."

Dad, The Whole Freshman Class
Was Looking At Me.

No, No, No.

I Want You To Look
At These Red Marks.

Make Your Corrections.

Take It Back To Your Professor.

Ask For Help.

He Did Say If Anybody
Got Below A "C"

They Could Do Their Paper Again.

There.

I Have A Ton Of Work.

Welcome To College Life.

All Right, Dad,
I'll Give It A Shot.

There You Go.

And I'll Tell You

What I'll Do For You.

While You're Up In That Room
Working So Hard

I'm Going Down To The Store

Buy One Of Those
Strawberry Shortcakes

And Bring It Up To Your Room

And You And I Will Have
Strawberry Shortcake

While You're Doing Your Work.

Mom Doesn't Like You
Eating Those Desserts.

I Don't Care
What Your Mother Doesn't Like.

You Understand?

When It Comes To Making
A Sacrifice

I'm There When You Throw
The Chips Down.

Thanks, Dad.

Go Get Them.

Mon Frere.

Daddy.

Carolyn Will Be
Here Any Minute.

Good.

How Do You Feel?

About What?

You Know What I Mean.

Do You Feel Funny?

You Said You Had To Feel Funny
To Be Funny.

I Feel A Sort Of Heaviness,
A Sadness.

Dad.

Try.

( Doorbell )

Dad, That's Carolyn.

Think Funny, Okay?

Carolyn, Darling.

Rudy, Darling.

Come On In.

Bye, Mom.

How About Our Smooches?

Yeah.

Hi, Dr. Huxtable.

Hi. I Noticed You Brought
Your Sleeping Bag... Why?

The Last Time I Was Here,
That Other Bed In Rudy's Room

Felt Like Sleeping On Rocks.

I Need My Sleep,
Or I'm Just No Good.

So How About It?

How About What?

What Will You Do
To Make Me Laugh?

The Last Time I Was Here,
You Were A Riot.

Dad Isn't Up To It Tonight.

I Think He's Depressed.

Yeah, You Have To Excuse Me.

I Think The Whole Day Has
Just Taken Its Toll On Me.

I Feel Drained.

Pardon Me.

I'll Go And Get
Something To Eat.

I'm Really Sorry, Carolyn.

I Guess We'll Have
To Entertain Ourselves.

That's Okay, Darling.

You're Not Responsible
For Your Parents.

Let's Go Up And Play.

Ahhh!

( Screaming )

Har!

Now I've Got You!

( Shrieking )

The Pirate Is
Going To Get You.

Ahhhh!

( Giggling )

( Crash )

( Laughing )

Clair:
All Right, You Two!

What Did You
Break Now?

Girls:
Nothing.

Clair:
I Want It Quiet.

Not Another Sound.

Rudy:
Mom?

Yes?

Can We Get
A Snack?

Okay, But Be Quiet.

Your Brother's
Studying.

Rudy:
We Will.

Carolyn:
Har, Har, Matey.

I'll Make You Walk The Plank.

No, You Won't!

Yes, I Will.

Hey.

Do You Guys Mind?

I Came Down Here

To Get Away From
You Two Wild Women.

Shouldn't You
Both Be In Bed?

It's A Sleep-Over.

We Can Stay Up Late.

We're The Queens
Of The Night.

Your Highness,
Darling...

Your Royal Beauty,
Darling.

Kiss, Kiss.

Smooch, Smooch.

You Two Are So Obnoxious.

Thank You,
Your Grumpiness.

Are You Done?

I Have An Important Paper
To Finish.

What Are You
Writing About?

You Wouldn't Understand.

It's College-Level Material.

"It Was A Haunting,
Cloudy Day

One That Conjured Up
Images Of Destiny."

Huh?

I Told You You Wouldn't
Understand It.

Sounds Like You're Trying
To Impress Your Teacher

With Big Words.

That Never Works.

How Do You Know?

My Dad's An Editor
Of A Newspaper.

He Tells New Reporters--

"When You Write, Keep It Simple.

Only People With Small Minds
Use Big Words."

Look, I Was Asked To Write
About A Personal Experience.

I'm Writing About
My First Day At College.

I'm Trying To Capture
How Scared I Was

When I First
Arrived On Campus.

Why Don't You Just Say,
"I Was Scared"?

Because That's Not
Descriptive Enough.

I'm Trying To Paint
A Picture Of My Fear.

I Know What You Mean
About Fear.

I Once Took My Cat, Maple,
On A Ferris Wheel--

Whoa, Was She Scared!

We're Not On A Ferris Wheel.

Would The Two Of You Kindly
Leave Me To Write?

Okay.

Carolyn, Let's
Go Upstairs.

( Whispering )

Good Night, Mr. Dictionary.

"As I Stepped On The Campus
For The First Time

"I Was Afraid.

"I Felt Like...

A Cat On A Ferris Wheel."

( Growling )

The Monsters Looked
Into The Attic And Said...

We're Going
To Eat Your House.

Let's Start
With The Chimney.

Let's Play
Something Else Now.

But We're Supposed
To Go To Sleep.

It's A Sleep-Over.

We Can Stay Up
As Late As We Want.

Let's Play
Flashlight Wars.

Okay.

Defenders Of The Universe.

May One Light Shine True.

Go!

My Beam Got
Your Beam.

No, It Didn't.

Yes, It Did.

Take That.

No Fair!

What?

You're Not Allowed To Take
Your Beam Off The Wall.

This Is My House.

I Can Do Anything.

You're Always Changing The Rules

Just So You Can Win.

I Can't Help Being Better

At Flashlight Wars.

Stop That!

I'm Going Home.

No, You're Not.

Yes, I Am.

You're My Guest.
You'll Do What I Say.

I Don't Have
To Do Anything.

You're A Rockhead!

You're A Sponge-Brain!

You're A Sponge-Brain
To The Max!

You're A Double
Sponge-Brain Supreme!

I'm Going Home.

Go! I Don't Care.

I Don't Really
Care...

Dr. Huxtable--

I Have To Talk To You.

Huh?

Wake Up. It's An Emergency.

Okay. Make Sure She's
Fully Dilated.

I'll Scrub Up.
Here We Go.

Dr. Huxtable,
I Want To Go Home!

What Are You
Doing In Here?

How Did You Get In Here?

What's Going On?

Rudy Cheats,
And She's Being Mean.

I Hate Her.

What Is Going On?

She Hates Rudy.

Oh...

Can You Do Me A Favor?

Get In The Bed
You're In

And Hate Her
Until About : .

Then I'll Be Glad
To Take You Home.

I Can't Spend
Another Minute Here.

Call My Mommy, Please?

I'm Very Unhappy.

Okay. I'll Call Your Mom.

Okay. All Right.

I'll Pack And
Meet You Downstairs.

Yes, Yes, Yes.

Yes, Yes, Yes.

What Are You Doing?

I Have To Call Mrs. Gregory

And Tell Her Her Daughter
Wants To Come Home...

( Mocking Carolyn )

Hello, Mr. Gregory.

How You Doing?

Your Daughter
Just Came In Here And Said:

( Mocking Carolyn )

So Would You Please Put
The Light On Out Front?

I'll Drive By And Throw Her
Out The Window.

Yeah. Okay.

Huh?

Do The Pirate For You?

You Want Me To Do
The Pirate?

You're A Grown Man.

Argh, Why Don't
You Go To Sleep?!

Carolyn.

Carolyn.

I'm Here To Take You Home.

Huh?

I'm Ready To Take You Home.

Here We Go.

I Don't Want To Go Home.

I Changed My Mind.

Yeah, But Seconds Ago

You Were In There,
And You Said:

"I Hate Rudy And
I Want To Go Home."

But When I Got Back,
She Apologized.

She's My Best Friend.

I Love Her.

The Next Time You Come
In My Room And Wake Me Up

And Tell Me You
Want To Go Home

I'll Give You â¢
And You Get The Bus.

That Sounds Fair.

Good Night.

Oh, Dad, You Look Terrible.

Yes, Because Your
Sister's Friend, Carolyn

Woke Me Up Three Times
To Take Her Home.

See What They Did
To The Kitchen?

I Cleaned It Up

Along With About Pieces
Of Balled-Up Composition Paper.

Sorry About That.

I Was Up All Night
Rewriting This Paper.

Went Down To N.Y.U.
This Morning And Slid It

Under The Professor's Door.

He Was There.

He Read It While I Waited.

Only Half The Red Marks
Of Before.

Now You're Cooking.

He Said If I Made My Ideas
Clearer And More Direct

I Could Probably Get A "C."

A "C" Would Be Beautiful.

You'd Like A "C"?

Of Course I'd Be Happy
With A "C."

This Is What Is Known
As A Hard "C."

I Would Take
A Hard "C"

Over A Soft "A" Any Day.

Dad, By The End Of This Year,
I'll Be Pulling In Hard A's.

I'm Too Scared Of You!

Go Ahead.

Rudy:
Daddy!

I'll Take You Home...

What?

Presenting The Darling Sisters

America's Sweethearts.

Don't You All
Just Look Lovely?

Thank You.

Isn't This Your Mother's
Makeup And Jewelry?

Yes.

I'll Be Gone
When She Finds Out.

We're Not Worried.

Come On, Darlings.

Let's Go To The Mall.

You Look Lovely,
Mrs. Huxtable, Darling.

Thank You, Darling.

Good-Bye, Darling.