04x19 - Once Upon a Time

[bunniefuu]

Ooh, What A Day,
What A Day.

Hmm?

Mmm.

Hmm.

Mom?

Yes, Sweetheart.

Can I Borrow
Your Stapler?

What Do You
Need It For?

I Want To Staple These Pages.

I Wrote A Story.

Okay.

Want To Hear It?

Sure, I'm Always Up
For A Good Story.

Okay.

Come On.

Where Are
We Going?

Apart.

Oh.

Okay.

Now, You Have To Pay Attention.

Right.

And Don't Talk Until
I'm Finished.

You Got It.
We Won't
Say A Thing.

You Can...

Hmm?

You Can Hold That.

All Right.

I'm Holding It.

Oh, Wrong Side, Sorry.

Oh, It's Beautiful.

Thank You.

Okay, The Title Is

"A Story By Rudy Huxtable."

Uh-Huh.

"Once Upon A Time,
There Was A Happy Land.

"It Was A Very Beautiful Place

"With Many Beautiful
Things To Look At.

Everybody Who Lived
In This Land..."

Hi.

Hi.

Go Ahead, I'm Listening.

You're Supposed To Be Awake.

I'm Awake.

I Heard Everything.

What Did I Say?

"Once Upon A Time

"There Was A Frog.

"He Kissed A Princess
Who Turned Into An Ape.

And They Lived
Happily Ever After."

You Weren't Listening.

Read On.

Start From The Top.

"Once Upon A Time..."

Once Upon A Time!

"There Was
A Happy Land..."

Happy!

"It Was A Very Beautiful Place"

With Many Beautiful
Things To Look At.

Everybody Who
Lived In This Land

Was Happy All Day Long.

The Leader Was A Wise Man,
Named Mr. Mayor.

Oh, What A Lovely Day.

Actually, It's Always
A Lovely Day In This Happy Land.

There Was Also A Farm.

It Belonged
To Mr. And Mrs. Farmer.

They Grew A Special Food
That Everyone Loved To Eat.

It Was Called Flooberoo.

My, What A Great
Flooberoo Harvest We've Had.

There Are Flooberoos
As Far As The Eye Can See.

Honey?

We've Been Working
Hard All Day.

I Think We Deserve
A Flooberoo Break.

You're Right.

Ummmm!
Ummmm!

Delicious!
Delicious!

There Was Also A Man Who
Told People All The News.

The News Was Always Happy.

Now Listen All You People
To What's Going Down.

Things Could Not Be Much Better
In This Good-News Town.

So Come On, Party People,
And Check It Out

To Find Out What
The Good News Is All About.

Is All About.

Everyone In The Land
Liked To Sing Songs.

The Song Leader
Was A Beautiful Maiden.

♪ Tra La La La La ♪

♪ Tra La La La La ♪

♪ Tra La La La La La La La ♪

Oh, I Forgot.

There Was A Sweet

And Pretty Flower Girl
Who Liked To Grow Flowers

And Give Them To Everyone.

Every Day There Was A Parade.

The Parade Was Led
By The Town's Band Leader.

It Was A Small Parade.

But Everyone Liked It
Just The Same.

In This Land, There Were
Lots Of Toys For Everyone.

Each Day Mr. Mayor
Handed Them Out

For All The People To Play.

School Was Never Inside.

It Was Always Outside.

There Was No Homework, And
Between Lessons Everybody Sang.

All Right,
Everyone.

Today We're Going To Sing
The Official Song Of Our Land.

And...

Five, Six

Five, Six,
Seven, Eight.

♪ It's A Beautiful Day ♪

♪ It's A Beautiful Day ♪

♪ And We're Happy To Say ♪

♪ And We're
Happy To Say ♪

♪ Everyone In This Place
Has A Smile On His Face ♪

( Humming )

♪ We Love Living Here ♪

♪ Yes, We Love
Living Here ♪

♪ And We're Sorry You're There ♪

♪ So Sorry
You're There ♪

♪'Cause If You Were With Us ♪

♪ We Know You'd Be Happy, Too ♪

♪ Be Happy, Too ♪

The People In This Land
Liked Each Other Very Much.

But There Were Other People

In A Different Land
Not Far Away

Who Didn't Like Them.

They Didn't Like
Much Of Anything.

(Trumpet Fanfare )

Hey!

Hey, There You Are.

Announce Me,
Or You're Fired.

Hear Ye, Hear Ye!

Announcing
His Royal Kingness--

The Most Feared Man
In The Land--

The Man Not
To Mess With.

That's Better.

( Trumpet Fanfare )

Hear Ye, Hear Ye!

Announcing Another
Rotten Person...

The Duke Of Doom.

You Got It.

What Mean Things

Have You Planned For Us
Today, Your Ugliness?

I Like Bossing People Around.

Let's Go To w*r.

Yeah, w*r.

Now You're Talking.

What People Should We
w*r Against, Your Meanness?

I Can't Know Everything.

Get The Wizard.

Wizard, Cometh Forth!

Cometh Forth, Wizard.

Here Comes
The Wizard.

(Coughing )

Greetings, Your Majesty!

So Tell Me

What Would You Have Me
Conjure For You Today?

I Want A w*r.

You Find Somebody To Fight.

Well, Let Me Look
In My Crystal Ball.

Don't Tell Me Less,
Don't Tell Me More

Just Tell Me
Who We Should Fight In w*r.

Wait A Second.

It's Kind Of Fuzzy In Here.

This Ball Must Have Been
On The Radiator Too Long.

I Can't See Anything.

Off With Her Head!

Wait!

I See Something.

I See A Land Near Here
Where Everyone Is Happy.

I Hate Happy People.

They Think They're Hot Stuff.

Happy People Are Not Too Bad.

Some Of My Best Friends
Are Happy People.

Off With His Head!

Oh, No.

Well, Happy People Stink.

Actually, I Think We
Should Waste Them.

Tell Me More, Wizard.

Their Land Is Across The Ocean
And Past The Desert.

They Have Toys For Everyone,
And They Like To Sing.

They Sound Like Wimps.

That Does It.

I Hereby Declare w*r!

w*r It Is, Your Highness

And Your Most
Horrendous Attackedness.

First, Let's Sing Our Song.

♪ We Don't Like The Day ♪

♪ We Can't Stand The Night ♪

♪ We Really Hate To Play ♪

♪ We Only Like To Fight ♪

♪ And We'll Do It In Your Face ♪

♪ Crummy Day ♪

♪ We Can't Stand The Night ♪

♪ We Really Hate To Play ♪

♪ We Only Like To Fight ♪

♪ And We'll Do It In Your Face ♪

So They Sent The Duke Of Doom
With A Message.

Farmer:
Look!

In The Distance.

A Stranger.

Mayor:
Let's Make Him Welcome.

I'll Give Him
A Flower.

Hello.

Who Goes There?

I Am The Duke Of Doom,
And Don't You Forget It.

Would You Like
A Flooberoo?

Doom:
No!

Song Leader:
Nice To See You.

Why Have You Come?

Because You're In Big Trouble.

Read This.

What Does It Say?

It Says, "We Declare
w*r On You.

"We Will Be Attacking
At Noon Tomorrow.

Signed, The King
Of Nasty."

Well, Isn't That Nice.

They Want To Have w*r With Us.

What Is w*r?

I Don't Know.

Mr. Mayor

You're The Wisest.

Do You Know What w*r Is?

I Know What A Door Is
And A Store Is

But I Don't Know
What A w*r Is.

That's All Right.

We'll Just Look It Up
In The Dictionary.

"w*r: Open-Armed Conflict
Between Two Parties."

Hmm?

Open-Arm Parties?

All Right.

Party Down,
Open Arms!

How Do You
Do That?

You Go Like This.

You Open Your Arms
And You Par-Tay!

That Looks Like Lots Of Fun.

Mayor:
Let's All Do It.

Yeah.

( Laughter )

This Is Going
To Be A Great w*r.

( Laughter )

Tum Tum Tadum.

w*r Tum Halt
Tum Halt.

Wizard,
Do Some Magic

To Protect Us
In Battle.

No Problem,
Your Majesty.

Oh, Before We Fight
On This b*ttlefield

Protect Us All
With An Invisible Shield.

Ka-Zam!

It Is Done.

I Don't See
Anything.

That's Because
It's Invisible.

But Trust Me,
We're Totally Protected.

Nothing Can Touch Us.

Ouch!

That Star Hurt!

Oh, I'm Sorry.

We're Supposed
To Have A Shield.

You've Been Doing Magic All Day
And Nothing's Been Working!

Here Comes
Those Happy People.

Hi, There, Neighbors.

Ready For w*r?

We've Been Looking Forward
To It All Day.

Let's Go To w*r.

All Right, w*r.

I've Never Seen
A w*r Like This One.

What Should We Do?

Draw Your Swords.

We Don't Want To Fight
If You're Using Those.

In The Name
Of His Horrendousness

We Declare
This Land Conquered.

Now This Land Is Ours.

So The Nasty People
Took Over The Land.

Soon Everything Was Lousy.

After The w*r Ended,
Things Got Bad Right Away.

Okay, Listen Up.

There's Going To Be
Some Changes Around Here.

I'm Your New King.

Your Majesty

Why Don't You Let Me
Change Them All Into Frogs?

You Can't Even Change A Dollar.

Your Majesty, Should I
Read Them The New Rules Now?

Yes.

Ah-Ha-Ha.

"Having Lost The w*r

"You Are Henceforth
Subject To Our Rules.

"They Are As Follows.

"Rule Number One:

"All Your Toys Are Now Our Toys

And You Can't Play
With Them Ever Again."

That's Not Fair.

"Rule Number Two:

"From Now On

Farmers Will Only Be Allowed

To Grow Broccoli."

What About Our Flooberoos?

We'll Be Eating Those.

"Rule Number Three:

"Whenever You Pass One Of Us

"You Must Stop And Say:

'You Are A Fabulous Guy.'"

I Won't Stand For This.

As Mayor, I Protest
The Treatment Of My People.

Why Don't You Let Me Imprison
Him In My Crystal Ball?

Excellent.

Very Nasty Idea.

Oh, This Mayor
Who Has Such Gall

It Is Time For Him To Fall.

Now In Front Of One And All,
Put Him In My Crystal Ball.

What Happened?

Oh, No, Where's
Our Mayor?

(Wicked Laughter )

Oh, No!

I Said "Ball,"
Not "Wall."

You're Pitiful.

And So The People Had To Live
Under The New Laws

And Nobody Was Happy.

Okay, These Are
All My Toys.

Thank You For
Such A Lovely Gift.

"Gift"?

You're Making Me
Give Them To You.

Hey! Hey! Hey!

You Watch Your Mouth, Sporty.

Let Me Ask You
A Question.

You Took Our Toys.

What Is Everybody
Supposed To Play With?

You Want To Play?

Yeah.

Play With Those Rocks.

( Wicked Laughter )

A Wonderful Idea,
Your Grooviness.

You Guys
Are Disgusting.

You Forgot Something.

What?

Rule Number Three.

Oh, Yeah, I Forgot.

You're A Fabulous Guy.

Thank You.

You're A Fabulous Guy.

Thank You.

I'm Going For A Walk.

All Right, Your Grooviness.

What Are You Doing?

Picking Flowers.

You're Not Allowed.

There's No Rule
Against Picking Flowers.

Now There Is.

Rule Number :
No Picking Flowers.

Hey, Aren't You
Forgetting Something?

What?

Rule Number Three.

Tell Me I'm A Fabulous Guy.

Okay, You're A Fabulous Guy...

Bud.

( Quiet Singing )

Ah! These Toys
Are Heavy.

Well, Song Leader

That's A Very Beautiful
Dress You Have On.

Your Notes Are Looking
Mighty Sharp.

I Cannot Say Good Morning You.

I Don't Speak To People

Who Conquer Us
And Make Up Terrible Rules.

I Don't Make The Rules.

These Are The King's Rules.

If I Didn't Follow Them,
I'd Lose My Job.

But You Don't
Have To Follow Them.

If I Don't, He'll Fire Me

And Who's Going
To Pay For My Condo?

So You're In This
Just For The Money?

Well, No, Of Course
There Are Other Benefits.

I Have A Wonderful
Health And Dental Plan.

And Then There's
Two Weeks Out Of The Year

That I Get To Go On Vacation
And Cruise And Pillage.

And If You Played
Your Cards Right

You Could Come Along
And Pillage With Me.

I'd Rather Sit
On A Cactus Plant.

We Could Do That, Too,
If You'd Like.

(Dance Music )

So The People
Had To Live By The Rules.

They Really Didn't Like It

But The People Who Took Over
The Land Liked It A Lot.

They Had A Party Every Day.

How Do You Like That?

We Do All The Work,
And All They Do Is Party.

Yeah, It's Not Fair.

It Looks Like
A Stupid Party.

I Wouldn't Go In
If You Paid Me.

Whoa, Check Her Out.

Don't Even
Look At Her.

She's With Them.

Hey, I Think
She Likes Me.

Don't Pay Any
Attention To Her.

Ha-Ha. Catch You Later.

Wait A Minute.

You Can't Dance
With Them.

They're The Enemy.

With Enemies Like That,
Who Needs Friends?

I Remember When That
Rainbow Had Many Colors.

It Will Have Colors Again.

I Don't Think So.

We'll Never Sing
Our Songs Again.

We Will.

No, We Won't.

We'll Probably Eat Broccoli

For The Rest Of Our Lives.

What A Tragedy!

This Is Awful.

I Can't Imagine
A Worse Thing Happening.

What?

The Town Crier

Has Gone Over
To The Enemy.

He's There Now,
Dancing.

This Is The End.

Don't Say That.

There's No Hope For Us.

We Can't Fight.

Their Weapons Are Too Strong.

I'll Be In This Wall Forever.

Mrs. Farmer:
We'll Just Have To Get Used
To The Way Things Are.

The Flower Girl Hated To See
How Sad Everybody Was.

She Wanted Things To Be
The Way They Used To Be.

So She Decided
To Do Something About It.

Stop!

What?

I Said Stop.

And?

And What?

What Happened Next?

That's It. The End.

What Happened After
The Flower Girl Said Stop?

Everyone Stopped.

Stopped What--
Stopped Dancing?

No, Stopped Everything--

Stopped The Rules
And Stopped Being Mean.

Well, What About
The Duke Of Doom?

Stopped.

And The Evil King?

Stopped.

And The Henchman?

Stopped,
And The Wizard Stopped, Too.

But I Don't Understand.

Why Did Everyone Stop?

Because The Flower Girl
Told Them To.

That Is A Very Interesting
Story You've Written.

I Love What The Flower Girl
Does In The End.

I'll Do That, Too,
When I Become President.

You're Going To
Become President?

Yes, President Of The World.

Ah.

I'll Get On The Bullhorn

And Tell All The Bad People
To Stop It.

And I'll Tell Them

To Throw All Their Bombs
And g*ns In The Ocean

So There Will Be
No More Fighting.

Stop It.

Stop It.

Newscaster # :
And People Were Wounded
In The Attack.

That's The Fourth t*rror1st Action
To Take Place In The Last Two Weeks.

The Military Government Announced That
They Will Use Any Force Necessary...

Newscaster # :
Eight Separatist Rebels
And One Soldier

Were k*lled During A One-Hour
g*n Battle Outside The Embassy

At Noon Today.

Newscaster # :
The Helicopter Was
Strafing A Village

When It Was Shot Down
By A Heat-Seeking m*ssile.

We Have Tape Of The Crash.

Rudy, You Better Hurry Up And
Become President Of The World.

We Need You Right Now.

Please.

Newscaster # :
In Other News

The First Megaton
Nuclear Warhead

Was Tested Successfully At
An Underground Sight Yesterday.