04x06 - That's Not What I Said

[bunniefuu]

Mom, I Brought You
Some Warm Milk And Cookies.

Thank You, Sweetheart.

It Might Help
Calm You Down.

I Am Calm.

Even Though Your Son's In Jail?

Vanessa, Theo Is Not In Jail.

He's Just At The Police Station.

Let's Not Jump To Conclusions.

Okay.

Mom?

Yes.

Is Theo Still In Jail?

Rudy,
Theo Is Not In Jail.

He's Only
Been Arrested.

Theo Has Not Been Arrested.

He's Just At The Police Station.

Why?

Because The Friend

He Was With
Drove Too Fast

And The Friend Only Had
A Learner's Permit.

I Thought You And Dad
Grounded Theo Last Week

For Cutting Class.

Yes, But He Had Permission To Go
To The Library.

He's At A Police Station
In Coney Island?

That's Right...

And For His Sake

I Hope There's A Good Library
In Coney Island.

Are You Mad At Theo?

Honey, This Is A Matter Between
Theo And Your Father And Me.

Let's Just Say Good Night.

Yeah.
Good Night, Rudy.

And Good Night, Vanessa.

I'll Stay Up And
Keep You Company.

I'll Keep You
Company, Too.

That Is Not Why
You Want To Be Down Here.

Come On, Let's Go.

Aww, Man.

We're Going.

Don't Worry, Rudy.

We'll Hear The Yelling
In Our Bedrooms.

Good.

Sorry, Mom.

Theo, I'm Not Accepting
That Apology

Until I've Heard All The Facts.

Tom Lauck Picked Me Up In His
Dad's Car To Go To The Library.

Tom Lauck Has No
Driver's License.

He Has A Permit.

He Has A Permit.

They Were The Only People
In The Car--

Two Permits,
Driving Around Aiming At People.

Tom Promised
He'd Drive Real Slow.

You're Supposed To
Have A Licensed Driver

In The Car With You.

I Know,
But We Weren't Going Far.

Coney Island Is Ten Miles Away.

Did You Even
Get Near The Library?

Sure. We Went In
And Put Down Our Books.

Then We Went Out
For A Hot Dog.

So The Library Was A Cover-Up
For This Trip To Coney Island.

There You Go.

On The Way Back

Tom Accidentally
Ran Through The Red Light.

Uh-Huh.

We Heard A Siren.

A Police Car Came At Us
With His Lights Flashing.

I Said, "Uh-Oh, It's The Cops."

Tom Freaked Out.

He Hit The Pedal,
And We Were Off.

You Tried To Outrun The Police?

Don't Worry, Mom.

I Had My Seat Belt On
The Whole Time.

The Chase Only Lasted
Three Blocks.

Tom Slowed Down

And The Policeman
Got On The Loudspeaker

And Ordered Him To Pull Over.

That Freaked Him Out Again.

He Jerked The Steering Wheel,
Jumped The Curb

And Hit A Stop Sign.

Theo, I've Heard Enough.

Give Me And Your Father
A Few Minutes

To Discuss
Your Punishment

Then Come Back Down.

Yes, Mom.

Hey, Dad...

Am I Really In
That Much Trouble?

Let Me Tell You Something.

When We Go Into The Kitchen

You Can Go Out
And Get In My Car.

You Can Drive Backwards
To Coney Island

Run Over The Hot Dog Man
And Two Stop Signs

And You Won't Be In Any More
Trouble Than You Are Now.

It Doesn't Get Easier, Does It?

Cliff, Something Has
Gotten Into Him Lately.

I Think It All Started
When He Began To Shave.

I Have To Tell Theo
To Do Something Ten Times

Then Go Behind Him
And Make Sure He's Done It.

He Took My Razor
And Used My Last Blade.

Yesterday He
Took My Car

With A Friend
Who Has A Driver's License.

I Asked That
He Put Gas In The Car.

I Gave Him Gas Money.

He Didn't Put
Gas In The Car

Never Returned The Money.

I Ran Out Of Gas
Driving To Work.

For Somebody To Take
Your Last Blade

And Not Tell You About It...

Cliff...

Are You Listening?

Yeah, I Was Listening.

You Know About The Gas.

What About It?

You're Not Listening To Me.

Why Would You Say
You're Listening To Me

If You Weren't Listening?

Because I Was Thinking
About The Boy.

I Was Talking About Him.

I Thought You Were Talking
About Your Car.

I Was Talking About
What Theo Did To My Car.

You Weren't Listening.

You Weren't Listening To Me.

Yes, I Was.

Quote Me.

You Know What You Said.

There You Go.

You Weren't
Listening To Me.

I Was Talking About The Boy
And Shaving

And Nicking My Face.

Cliff, I Could Have Been
Stranded Somewhere.

Are You Telling Me

That A Nick On Your Face
Is As Important

As Your Wife Being Stranded
Somewhere At Night

On A Country
Road, Alone

In The Pouring Rain
And The Howling Winds?

When Was All This Going On?

I Was Making A Point.

Yeah, Well, Your Point
Is Untrue And Fabricated.

You Think A Nick On Your Face
Gives You A Point?

You Nick Your Face
All The Time.

You Would Nick Your Face
Without A Razor.

Nick, Nick, Nick.

I Don't Think You Have Reason
To Be Upset With Me.

How Would You Know?

You Weren't Even Listening

Or You
Would Know

That I Should Be Upset.

And You Should Be Upset With Me.

I Don't Need Anybody
To Tell Me

When I Should Be Upset
With Somebody.

If I Decide To
Get Upset With Somebody

I Will Make That Decision
To Be Upset With Somebody.

Nobody Can Tell Me
When To Get Upset With Somebody.

I Get Upset
When I'm Ready To Get Upset...

...And I'm Upset Now.

Uh...

Mom, Dad...

What Do You Want?

I Came Down For My Punishment.

I Don't Think
This Is The Right Time, Son.

Aren't You Giving It
To Me Tonight?

I Wouldn't Be
So Eager, Theo.

I'm Not Eager, Mom.

I Just Wanted To
Get It Over With Tonight.

Why?

My Grounding Ends On Saturday

And I Hoped I Could Go
To A Party At Lana's House.

You Have The Arrogance
To Inform Me

That You Are Going To A Party

When Your Father Just Brought
You Home From The Jailhouse?

Go To Your Room.

I Think That Boy
Has Lost His Mind.

Sondra And Denise
Didn't Act Like This.

Why Is He
Like This?

He's A Boy, And Boys Go Through
That Kind Of Thing.

Are You Saying
That This Is Natural?

That We Should
Excuse This Behavior

Because
He's Male?

That's Not What I'm Saying.

What Are You Saying?

I'm Not Saying Anything.

Whatever You Say,
That's What Is Going To Be Said.

Please Don't
Do That.

Don't Patronize Me
Like That.

"Whatever You Say Is
Going To Be What's Said."

That's Not Right.

You Should Say
What You Want To Say

But Don't Say That.

That Is So Beneath You.

Let's Talk About
Whatever It Is We're Angry About

In The Morning

And Get Some Sleep.

Neither Of Us Will Be Sleeping
Any Time Soon.

Why Not?

When We Married

We Promised We'd Never
Go To Sleep Angry.

We Were Younger Then.

We Didn't Need As Much Sleep.

Cliff...

All Right.

Let's Count To Three
And Then Stop Being Angry.

That's Not Enough.

There Has To Be
An Apology First.

Okay, I Accept Your Apology.

Oh, No, No.

You Owe Me The Apology.

For What?

For Getting Us Both Upset.

You Got Us Upset First.

Where's My Apology?

Are You Suggesting
That I Owe You An Apology?!

You Better Believe It.

I'm Just Saying One More Thing.

What?

We Are Going To Sleep Angry.

That Doesn't
Bother Me.

If It Don't Bother Me
And It Don't Bother You

It Don't Bother Me.

I Didn't Want The Covers,
Anyway.

And Another
Thing Is

I Was In The Navy

And I Slept Closer Than This
To The Enemy.

Here's A Story About
Two High School Guys

Who Robbed
A Grocery Store.

Is Theo's Name
In It?

No, He Didn't Do Anything
That Big.

Keep Looking.

I Know It's Here.

Janet Says That Every Day

They Publish A List Of Everyone
Who's Been Arrested.

Maybe Theo Used A Fake Name.

Yeah, I'll Look Under John Doe.

Then Try Theo Doe.

Hey, Theo,
What Name

Did You Give The Police?

What Are You Talking About?

When They Booked You.

They Didn't Book Me.

I Waited At The Police Station
Till Dad Came.

What Did Mom And Dad Do?

Nothing.

They Started Arguing
And Forgot Me.

Really?

I Haven't Even
Been Punished Yet.

When They Stop Arguing,
You Are Going To Get It.

Your Goose Is Boiled.

I Bet They'll Send Theo
To A Juvenile Delinquent Farm.

He's Probably Going To Have
To Break Rocks With A Hammer.

I'm Out Of Here.

Rudy, We Can Go
To School Now

Or Stay And Find Out
What They're Arguing About.

Let's Stay Here.

I'm With You.

( Footsteps )

Here Comes Dad.

Act Cool, Okay?

Hey.

Hey, Dad.
Hey, Dad.

Dad, You Look Tired.

Yeah, I Am.

You Up Late?

Yeah.

Baby?

No.

Reading?

No.

Arguing?

Rudy!

We Couldn't
Find Out Anything

With Your
Questions.

Dad, If You Don't Want To Talk
About It, It's Okay.

Mom And I
Were Arguing

But We're In Love, And
That Happens Sometimes.

When Will It Be Over?

Oh, Soon, I'm Sure.

Maybe You Should
Give Mom Some Flowers.

You Should Buy Her A Dog.

What Kind Of Dog Do You
Think Your Mother Should Get?

A Cocker Spaniel
With A Red Collar.

Isn't There A School Bus
Waiting For You Guys?

Yeah, Dad.

Rudy, I'll Walk You.

Remember, Dad

You're Just A Dog Away
From This Being Over.

I Understand That

And I Want To Thank You
For Your Suggestions

Because They Were Both
Enlightening And Delightening.

Morning, Hon.

Good Morning.

Are We Still Arguing?

I Don't Know.

Are We?

Doesn't Look Like It.

Cliff, We Were Really
Angry With Theo

And We Got Upset With Each Other

And Tried To Force Each Other
To Apologize.

I Know.

We Were Silly.

I Have A Way To
End This Argument

And No One Has To Say,
"I'm Sorry."

We're Going To Write
On These Pads.

We'll Write Down The Things That
The Other Did That Made Us Upset

And We'll Exchange Lists

And Then We'll Promise
Never To Do Those Things Again.

Okay, You Write First.

Let's Go Together.

Together?

All Right, Here
We Are Writing.

I'm Finished.

Uh-Huh.

You're Still Writing.

I'm Not Finished Yet.

I Thought You
Were Finished.

I Know, But I Just Thought
Of Some Other Things.

You're Writing
Out Of Spite.

No, I'm Not, Dear.

Yes, You Are.

Give Me This Pad.

"I Didn't Like It
When Clair Did...

And Then She Said..."

Cliff, You Haven't
Completed A Sentence.

You Fill In The Blanks.

You Know What
You Did Wrong.

You See #
On My List?

"Pigheaded"-- That's You.

Okay, I'll Show You
# On My List.

You Know What # Is?

"Gives Us Dumb Things To Do."

No, Cliff.

Yes.

The Problem

Is You Don't Like
Newness And Innovation

And You Can't Take Me
Being Honest With You.

Until You Can,
This Argument Is Still On.

Good Day.

Good Day?

It's Morning.

That's How Much You Know.

It's Not "Good Day,"
It's "Good Morning."

So, Make That # :

"Doesn't Know
What Time Of Day It Is."

Mr. Hanson, I Agree.

An Out-Of-Court Settlement
Would Be Best.

But Frankly, I Find Your
Client's Offer Unacceptable.

We Think $ , Is Fair.

$ , Will
Hardly Compensate

For The Loss Of Income Due To
Your Client's Delay In Shipping.

We're Being Overly Generous
By Offering Anything At All.

( Beep )

Mary, I'm
In Conference.

Oh, Yes?

Yes, Of Course,
I'll Take The Call.

Please Put It Through.

Excuse Me.

Hello, Sweetness.

My Secretary Said
That This Is Important.

Have You Got A Minute?

Yes.

( Sentimental Jazz Music )

You Recognize That?

Yes, I Recall That.

Remember When We First
Danced To It?

Yes, I Recall That, Also.

Listen, I Don't Like It
When We Argue.

I Concur.

Can We Make Up?

Perhaps.

I Love You.

I Know.

Do You Love Me?

Yes.

Let Me Hear You Say It.

I...

I Will Have
To Defer

On That Request.

Why?

I'm In A Conference, Doctor.

Say It In Spanish.

Hay Un Otro Abogado Aqui

Y Ahora Estamos Hablando

A Cosas Muy Importantes.

I Like It, But I Don't Think
You Said, "I Love You."

Correctomente, Senor Doctor.

Okay, You Don't Have To Say It

But I Do Want You
To Dance With Me.

I Can't Do That.

Are You At Your Desk?

Well, Yes, I Am.

And I'm Sitting At My Desk

So I Want The Two Of Us
To Desk Dance.

I Beg Your Pardon?

Come On, Clair, You Can Do It.

No.

Don't Let Me Dance By Myself.

All Right.

Okay.

Woo-Ooo.

I Really Must Be Going Now.

I'll See You At Home?

Yes.

Bye.

It's Been Lovely

Talking To You.

I Really
Am Sorry.

That Was A Call From
My Most Important Client.

Yes, I Always Take Calls
From My Wife, Too.

( Sultry Music )

Oh, Hi.

Oh, Boy.

Looks Like You Two
Aren't Arguing Anymore.

That's Right, And
Now We Can Concentrate

On Your Punishment.

Why Don't You Go Up
To Your Room

And We'll Be Up Shortly.

You Will Remember To
Give It To Me, Won't You?

Oh, Don't Worry.

We'll See
You Later.

What I Feel Is

That He Understands Exactly
What He's Done Wrong.

It's All Right To Let Him Go
To Lana's Party Saturday.

Okay.

All Right?

We Can Ground Him
For A Week After That.

Mm-Hmm.

You Know,
There's Still Something

We Have To Say
To Each Other.

I Know.

I'll Go First.

No, No.

On The Count Of Three

We'll Say It To
Each Other Together.

One...

Uh-Huh.

Two...

( Smack )

Three.

I Want To Get
Some Dinner.
I'm Sorry.