03x18 - You Only Hurt the One You Love

[bunniefuu]

What Are You Doing?

Having Breakfast.

I've Got It!

What Is That?

My Free Packet Of
Snappers Candy.

You Ruined A Whole Box Of Cereal
To Get To These "Snappers"?

It's Not Ruined.

You Put Your Grubby Hands In It.

Don't Touch It
Anymore.

Nobody Will Eat That.

I Will.

Hey, Dad.

You Opened The New Cereal.

You Find The Candy?

Want Some?

Sure.

You Know About This?

Yeah.

How Much Does This Cereal Cost?

Uh... $ . .

How Many Candies Did You Get?

Five.

How Much Does Five
Go Into $ . ?

Somewhere Around Cents.

So Each Candy Comes Out
To How Much Apiece?

Cents Apiece!

Now, When You Go
To The Candy Store

What Do You Pay
For These Things?

Two For A Penny.

Two For A Penny!

But Out Of The Box,
They're Cents Apiece.

What Have We Learned From This?

( Ring )

Theo, Will You
Play With Me?

Today's Saturday.

It's My Day Off.

I'll Give You

All My Snappers
If You Do.

All These If I Play With You?

You Don't Have
To Do That.

Just Give Me
Three Of Them.

Well, Okay.

That's A Shame,
Dr. Bolden.

I'll Talk To Somebody
As Soon As I Can.

That's A Shame.

Bye-Bye.

What's A Shame?

They're Cutting People

From The Hospital Staff.

Oh, That Is Terrible.

The Main Thing Is
They're Cutting Mrs. Granger.

Who's She?

The Nice Lady

Who Does A Fantastic Job
Cleaning The Doctors' Lounge

And Gives Us The Cookies.

And Leaves You Apples
When You Gain Weight.

Yes.

I Like That Lady.

They're Letting Her Go,
And I'm Not Taking It.

I'm Going To Talk To Somebody.

Good For You.

Yeah.

I'd Love To Talk

But I'm Going
To The Office.

Hurry Home.
I'll Be Back
This Afternoon.

Cliff?

Yes?

I Bought This Cereal
For The Children.

You're
In Here

Digging For Those Candies,
Aren't You?

Don't You Eat This Cereal.

Shh! Shh!

Don't Say Anything.

Vanessa, Did Rudy
Come Through Here?

She Was In Here.

Got You.

You're It!

Take It Easy.

Mom And Dad
Don't Like Horseplay.

We're Just
Playing Tag.

You're It.

We Can't Play
In The House.

You'll Get In Trouble.

I Promised Rudy We'd Play.

Quit Being A Downer.

Okay, Have It Your Way.

Let's Play
In My Room.

We Don't Need
Miss Killjoy.

Yeah, Sour-Head!

Someday You'll Appreciate Me
For My Wisdom.

Someday I'll Be Happy
If I Just Appreciate You.

You're It!

Hi, Dad.

How You Doing?

Did You Go Shopping?

Yeah.

Looks Like You Bought A Lot.

Yeah.

Vanessa?

I Could Use Some Help Here.

Would You Like Me
To Help You?

Oh.

Vanessa?

Yeah?

Oh.

( Loud Thud )

( Scream )

That's Rudy.

( Crying )

Shh! It's Okay, Rudy.

I Want Mommy!

Mommy!

What Happened?

She Fell.

Okay, Let Me See Here.

Stop Crying.

I Want Mommy!

Take Your Hand Away.

Oh, Rudy,
You Look Awful!

Oh, Thanks A Lot.

No, No, You
Don't Look Awful.

I Want To See A Doctor.

I Am A Doctor.

No, You're Daddy.

I Understand.

I Want Mommy.

Mommy Won't Be Back For A While.

Then I'll Wait.

No, Let Me Look At It.

Ow!

I Haven't
Touched You Yet.

I'll Touch You The Way
Mommy Taught Me.

My Hands Are
Approaching Your Face.

Ow!

I Haven't Touched You Yet.

I'm Putting My Hand
On Your Head.

Now This One's On Top
And This One's Free.

I'm Coming In
To Take A Look.

No, I Haven't
Touched You Yet.

I'm Touching Your Face.

Ow!

It's Too Late Now.

All You've Done
Is Scrape Your Face.

I Don't Think Any
Bones Are Broken.

You Got A Little Cut
On The Upper Lip.

I'll Get My Bag,
Be Back, Clean You Up.

Okay.

Keep An Eye
On Her.

I Told You Guys
Not To Run In The House.

We Weren't.

What Happened?

It Was An Accident.

What We're You Doing?

Remember The Circus Tumblers

Who Push People Up In The Air
With Their Feet

And Catch Them?

Theo Missed.

How Could You Do That?!

She's A Little Kid!

It Was An Accident.

Like The Time You Made Me
The Human Cannonball?

How Could I Know
You'd Go That Far?

What's The Human Cannonball?

Theo Locked His Hands.

I Put My Foot
In His Hands

He Yells "Fire,"
Throws Me In The Air.

I'm Supposed To Curl Up
And Land On The Bed.

Theo Throws Me
Over The Bed

And I Land
On The Dresser.

You Opened Up.

You Weren't Supposed To.

That Was
Your Fault.

I Yelled "Fire,"
And You Panicked.

Rudy, No Matter How Much Fun He
Says You'll Have, Don't Do It.

He's Injured Every Girl
In This House.

One Of These Days
We'll Get Together

And Hurt You Good.

Forget About That.

We Need An Excuse.

What Do You Mean?

Remember When Dad Found Out
We Did The Human Cannonball?

We Got Grounded For Two Weeks.

I Don't Want Trouble.

That's Why We've Got To
Be Cool About This.

I Got It.

If Dad Asks What Happened

We'll Say You Fell Off The Bed.

You Did Bounce Off The Bed
After You Hit The Wall.

What If Dad Asks What Rudy
Was Doing When She Fell?

We'll Say She Was Reaching
For A Book And Slipped.

"We'll Say"?

I'm Not Saying Anything.

I'm Just An Advisor.

Then Advise Me.

Say Rudy Fell And Hit Her Head
On Something

Like A Shoe.

A Shoe Wouldn't Hurt.

Let's Say She Hit
Her Head On A Barbell.

Sounds Good.

Rudy, You Were On The Bed

Reached For A Book, Slipped,
And Hit Your Head On A Barbell.

Okay.

Thank You.

Hold On To This.

When I'm Finished

Put That Ice On Her Face
To Keep The Swelling Down.

What Are You
Going To Do?

I'll Clean Your Face With
Some Things In This Bag

That I Borrowed
From A Real Doctor.

Good One, Dad.

Now, How Did This Happen?

I Slipped On A Book
And Hit My Head On A Shoe.

Hmm.

I Missed You.

Mmm!

I Finished
My Work Fast

So I Could Come Home
And Be With You.

And I Took A Nap

So That When You
Came Home, I'd Be Fresh.

Are You Fr-Esh?

Farm Fr-Esh!

Hi, Mommy.

Hi, Rudy.

Rudy!

Rudy, Are You All Right?

I Fell.

Cliff, What Happened Here?

She'll Be
All Right.

Her Face Is Swollen,
But She's All Right.

Honey, How Did You Fall?

I Slipped Off
Theo's Bed.

Cliff, How Did This Happen?

I Wasn't There.

You Have To Ask Theo.

What Were You Doing
When You Fell?

I Was Reaching
For A Barbell

And I Fell
On My Shoes.

Rudy, Go Upstairs And
Tell Theo To Come Down.

Okay, Mommy.

Did You Hear
That Pitiful Excuse?

"Reached For A Barbell
And Fell On Her Shoes"?

The Child Is Obviously
Not Telling The Truth.

I'll Bet Theo Is Involved.

What Did He Say?

I Didn't Ask Him Anything.

Don't You Care
How Rudy Got Hurt?

I've Lived With These Children
For Over Years.

I Don't Ask Them Anything.

I Just Patch Them Up.

Hey, Mom, How Was Work?

Fine.

Were You With Rudy
When She Had Her Accident?

Well, You See,
Actually...

Answer "Yes" Or "No."

Well, Yes.

Is This The Result Of
The Human Cannonball?

No, Mom, It Was Not
The Human Cannonball.

Then What Were You Doing?

Doing?

When This Happened.

Oh...

You See,
We Were Upstairs...

There's A Stiff Penalty
For Lying To Your Mother.

All Right.

We Were
Playing Circus.

We Were
The Tumblers.

I Threw Rudy In
The Air With My Feet

And She Hit A Wall.

The Wall?

I Hit The Wall.

You Hit The Wall
With Your Face?

Oh, My Poor Baby.

Are You Sure
You're All Right?

I Can't Breathe
Through My Nose.

Cliff, This Is Serious.

Call A Doctor.

I Told Him To.

She'll Be All Right.

She Doesn't
Need A Doctor.

Call Dr. Collins.

She'll Be Fine.

I Won't Call Dr. Collins

And Have Her Open
Her Office On A Saturday.

I'll Call Her.

She'll Meet You At The
Hospital Emergency Room.

Rudy, We're Going
To The Hospital.

Good.

I'll Come Along.

Theo, You Don't Have To Go.

Since You're So Interested
In The Circus

You Can Join The
Huxtable Circus.

This Is The Big Top.

Clean It From
Top To Bottom.

Start With Those Windows

And After That, Do The Floors.

Yes, Mom.

Son, Look At It This Way:

Here, No Elephants.

Hi, Dr. Huxtable.

Mrs. Granger.
Nice To See You.

I'm Glad
You're Here.

I Brought Treats.

Uh-Oh.

Ah... Cookies.

Yeah, I Have Cookies
And Apples

But First We Have To See
Which You're Going To Eat.

Uh-Oh.

You're Holding It In.

You're Within The Limits,
So You Get Cookies.

Good. What Kind?

Peanut Butter-Chocolate Chip
With Macadamia Nuts.

All Right!

These Should Be Eaten.

I Hope You Brought Some
For The Other Doctors.

You Get Two.

Two? Oh, No.

So... How You Doing?

I'm Fine. And You?

Oh, Great.

How's That Grandson Of Yours?

Oh... The Joy Of My Life.

I Asked Him

"What Will You Be
When You Grow Up?"

He Says, "A Grandma."

I Said, "Why A Grandma?"

He Says,
"Everybody Loves Grandmas

And Grandmas
Give Kids Presents."

I'm No Fool.

That Kid's Conning Me
Into Giving Him A Present.

Did You Get Him One?

Of Course.

I Love What He Has
To Say About Grandmas.

What Does He Say About Grandpas?

Nothing. He's Never Seen Him.

Oh, I'm Sorry.

I'm Not. My Grandson
Isn't Missing Anything.

You See, I Got Married
When I Was .

That I Didn't Know.

Oh, Yeah.

I Was Pregnant, Too.

That You Didn't Know.

Sixteen?

Sixteen.

It Took Me Five Months
To Tell My Parents.

The Next Morning,
My Father Took Me And Ennis

And We Stood
In Front Of The Judge.

It Was Some Honeymoon.

Ennis Looked For A Job

And I Looked For
An Apartment We Could Afford.

You Didn't Go To Niagara Falls.

Oh, No.

The Night Of Our
First Anniversary, Ennis Said:

"I'm Going Out
To Buy Cigarettes.

I'll Be Right Back."

It Must Have Been One Long Line
At That Store

Because He Never Came Back.

Oh, No.

Oh, Yeah.

For Three Days

My Father And I
Looked For That Boy.

Suddenly I Realized,
"What Am I k*lling Myself For?

Why Should I Worry
About Trash Like That?"

But As The Old Saying Goes:

"'Tis Better To Have
Loved And Lost

Than Never To Have Loved
At All."

Shakespeare.

Alfred Lord Tennyson.

Oh...

He Was An English Poet--

Lived In The s.

Downtown.

I'm Going To Miss You.

I Heard About
The Cutbacks.

Is There Anything
I Can Help With?

Nope.

What Will You Do?

I'm Not Sure.

First, I Was A Little Afraid.

But Then My Daughter Says:

"Mom, You're A Bright,
Intelligent Woman."

I Couldn't Disagree With That.

Then She Says:

"Since You Paid For Me
To Go Through College

I'll Pay For You
To Go Through College."

I Love It.

Come On...

No, I Love It.

Can You See Me
On A College Campus?

Yes!

In Class?

Yes!

With My Grandson

On My Back?

It Would Be Beautiful! Yes!

Yeah, I Can See That.

Mm-Hmm.

I'm Not Saying

I'm Definitely Going
To School...

But For The First Time

I'm In Charge
Of What I'm Going To Do.

"I Am The Master Of My Fate.

I Am The Captain
Of My Soul."

Who Said
That?

Uh... Alfred Lord Tennyson?

Buddy Rich?

Oh, Come On...

Who Said It?

Look It Up.

"Look It Up." Okay.

I Am Going
To Miss You.

Oh, Listen...

What?

Oh, No, No.

The Cookies Are On Me.

Excuse Me. Dr. Huxtable?

Yes.

My Name Is Warren Davis.

I'm In Laundry Service.

They Just Laid Me Off.

Well, I'm Sorry.

You Went To Mr. Howe
About Mrs. Granger's Job.

Yes, I Did.

It's All Over The Hospital.

I Heard You Beat Him Up.

Well... No, I Didn't...

You Should Do That For Me.

Mr. Davis, I...

Go And Tell Him About Me.

The Name Is Warren L. Davis.

Okay.

I Want My Job.

Mr. Davis,
I Talked To Mr. Howe

And He Said
She Has To Go, Anyway.

What?

I Said I Went Down

And Talked To Mr. Howe

And Mr. Howe Said

"I'm Going To Have To
Let Mrs. Granger Go, Also."

Oh. Don't Say Nothing
For Me, Then.

You're
The Wrong Man.

I'm Going To Go Find Dr. Ross.

Somebody's Going To
Tell Me Something

Because My Job...

We're Home!

Rudy,
How Are You?

Fine.

Dr. Collins Said It Was
A Little Swelling--

No Broken Bones...

The Same Thing
Another Doctor Said--

Who Will Remain Nameless--

Before He Was
Put Out Of The Joint.

I Think
You Look Beautiful.

Thanks.

She Was Great.

We Went Into The Emergency Room

And She Went Up--

Gave Her Name, Her Address

Knew Her Phone Number
And Her Zip Code.

Good For You.

Where Did You
Get That Hat?

It's A Present.

The Nurses Chipped In
And Bought The Hat

And Took Her Out For Lunch

And She Almost
Left The Hospital

With Some Doctor's
Reflex Hammer.

I Had A Good Time.

I'd Say So.

Go Upstairs
And Get Ready For A Nap, Okay?

Okay.

I'll Come Up
Later.

Do Me A Favor.

If Anybody Wants To
Make A Cannonball Out Of You

And Bounce You Off A Wall

Send Them Down Here.

I'll Bounce Them.

Okay.

Okay.

( Sigh )

Well... I Saw Mrs. Granger
This Afternoon.

How's She Taking It?

Her Daughter's Putting Her
Through College.

Stop It!

She's Going To College.

Her Daughter Said:

"Mom, Since You Worked Two Jobs
And Sent Me Through College

"Now That You're Not Working

I'm Sending You
Through College."

She Just Might Go.

That's Wonderful!

Yes, I Was Thinking About
Asking Her Daughter To Come Here

And Talk To Our Children.

Cliff, We've Already
Been Through College.

That's All Right.

I'm Willing To Settle
For The Cash.