02x10 - Clair's Toe

[bunniefuu]

...A-T-E.

Come On, Rudy.

Okay.

Come On,
Come On.

Okay.
That's It.

Tangibility.

Tangibility.

T- A-N-G-I-B-I-L-I-T-Y.

Tangibility.

You Know

What
It Means?

No, I Just Have To Spell It.

Vanessa,
What Does Q-N-G-H Spell?

Nothing.

Give Me Another Word.

What Does Z-R-B-T-T Spell?

Nothing!

How Come When You
Spell It's A Word

And When I Spell
It's Nothing?

Hey.

Dad, I'm Studying Very Hard
For The Spelling Test

And She Keeps Asking
Dumb Questions.

I Don't
Think

Anybody Asks Dumb Questions.

What's Your Problem?

What Does Z-R-B-T-T Spell?

Z- R-B-T-T Spell?

Uh...

That's Zurbitt.

Zurbitt, Uh...

You Know What I Think
A Zurbitt Is?

I Just Remembered.

A Zurbitt Is This.

That's A Zurbitt.

Yeah.

That's Right.

I Zurbitt You.

I Zurbitt You.

Besides Alternating
Your Routine...

Hi.

Hi, Dear.
How Was Your Day?

And Guess What I Discovered.

What's That?

Tomorrow Is The Anniversary Of
The Day That You Proposed To Me.

Oh...

Uh, The What?

The Anniversary Of The Day
You Proposed To Me.

I Proposed Several Times.

I'm Not Counting The
Times Before You Were .

I Mean At The Lake

When You Put The Ring
On My Finger.

That Was Special.

Yes.

And So, To Commemorate
That Special Event

Tomorrow Night You And I
Are Dining By Candlelight

At The Golden Dove.

My Wife Is Taking Me
Out To Dinner?

Yes.

Who-O-O-O-Ho.

To The Golden Dove?

Yes.

Wh-O-O-O!

Then The Two Of Us

Should Be Dressed In
The Finest Of The Finest

And That Restaurant
Will Never Have Seen

Two Such Beautiful Creatures
In Their Lives.

Don't Worry,
I'll Be Gorgeous.

Oh...

And I Will Be
Gorgeous-Er Than You.

I Am Going To Stop The
People In Their Tracks.

Ha-Ha!

And I Will Be Looking So Good

That The Man Will Put Me

At A Table In The Center
Of The Restaurant By Myself

And Put The Spotlight On Me!

Whoo!

Yes, But When The People Look,
They're Going To Say:

"Who Is That Smooth,
Gorgeous Woman

Sitting Next To That Pitiful
Man In The Spotlight?"

Are You Saying That You Are
Going To Look Smoother Than Me?

That's What
I'm Saying.

Ha!

You Lie Through Your Face.

You Wish!

Would You Like

To Have A "Smooth" Contest?

You Are Challenging Me
To A "Smooth" Contest?

We'll Get Dressed, Come Down

And We'll Be Judged To See
Who Is The Smoothest?

By Whom?

By Our Children.

You're On.

One Thing:

You Can Only Wear
What Is In Your Closet.

You Cannot Go Out Shopping...
For Something New.

Except For Shoes.

You Think They'll Win For You?

These Shoes Are So Smooth

They Could Walk
Down These Stairs

And Win The Contest
On Their Own.

Yes!

Cliff, Get Out.

I Came For The Remote.

Why Can't You Turn On
The Television By Yourself?

I Don't Want To
Walk To The Tv.

You Would Rather Walk
All The Way Up Here?

I Walked Up Here
Because My Remote Is Up Here

And A Beautiful Woman.

With Her New Shoes.

Get Out.

This Is My Bedroom, Too.

You Shouldn't See How
Smooth The Competition Is.

You'll Get Your Feelings
Hurt And Give Up.

Oh!

Cliff!

What's The Matter?

I Just Banged
My Foot On That Chest!

Let Me...

Ow!

Dear, I Didn't Touch It.

What Did
You Hit?

I Hit That Toe
Next To The Little One.

Bring It
Down Here, Okay?

Now Just...

Come On, Now.
Put It Down.

Okay, Now...

Dear

Come On.

Come On, Look.

This Won't Hurt.

* Boop-Ee-Doo-Be-Doo
Be-Doop-Ee-Doop *

Okay.

All Right,
Now Just Wiggle It.

Come On,
Wiggle It.

I Am Wiggling It.

No, I Mean Move It.

Cliff, I'm Moving It!

Don't Get Mad At Me.

It's Not You.

I'm Mad At Me
And That Stupid Chest!

Everything Is Fine.

You Sure?

Yeah. I'll Put Ice
On It And I'll Be Fi..!

Dear, You're
Not All Right.

I'm Fine.

You're Going To
The Emergency Room.

This Is Not An Emergency.

Okay, Walk.

You're Going To
The Emergency Room.

No. Suppose They Tell Me
It's Broken.

If Nobody Ever Tells You
It's Broken

And It Is Broken

How Will You Know It's Broken?

This Would Be
Much Easier

If You Had
The Cane, Dear.

I Don't Need It.
Thank You.

Okay.

I'll Help You

With Your Coat.

That's All Right.

I Can Get My Coat
Off By Myself!

I See.

Okay.

Where...

Where Are We
Going Now, Dear?

To The Couch.

Okay. Just Let Me Know.

Mom, Are You Okay?

Yes!

Is It Broken?

Yup,
It's Broken!

Snappo!

Keep That Thing Elevated.

Get The Pillow
For Your Mother's Foot.

I Can Get My Pillow
For Myself, Theo.

Oh,
Boy.

Whew!

Listen.

You Want To See Pictures
Of Your Mother's Foot?

You Have To Do That Now?

Well, Sure.
It's Educational.

Come Here.

This Is What Your Mother's Foot
Looks Like With The Skin Off.

Cliff!

Look Right Here.
See That?

Wait A Minute.

That Looks
Like A Hair.

That's Right.

This Is Called
A Hairline Fracture

Of The Proximal Phalanx
Of The Fourth Toe.

Understand That?

That's Cool.

All Right, It Is.

Take My Foot Someplace Else
And Leave Me Alone.

Okay. Want To Show It
To Your Friends At School?

Cliff!

Mom, Don't Worry.

We'll All Help Out.

Thank You, But I
Don't Need Your Help.

This Is Really Dumb.

Dear, Dear

Where Are You Going?

Upstairs To See The Kids

And To Look Over
A Brief For Tomorrow.

You're Not Going To Work.

Not Another Word About This.

I'm Going To Work Tomorrow
And To Dinner Tomorrow Night

And I Am Going To Win
The "Smooth" Contest.

At Least Take The Cane.

Thank You
Very Much!

Okay.

Okay?

Yeah, But You Got It
In The Wrong Hand.

This Toe Is Broken.

Why Would I Put
The Cane In This Hand?

Because You Don't
Walk Like That.

When People Walk

They Go This Foot,
This Hand

This Foot, This Hand.

If You Keep It
In This Hand Here-

I'm Sorry-

If You Do Like This

You'll Walk Like This-

"The Walk Of The
Drunken Mummy."

So Put It
In That Hand.

When You Put
That Foot Down

This Comes
Down With It.

Boom- That's
Your Support. Boom.

There You Go!
Now You're Cooking.

All Right.
Go Ahead.

I Am Not Going
To Use That Cane.

I'm Going To Go Up
These Stairs By Myself!

Mr. Barker.

Hello.

Ms. Kessler Will Be
Joining Us Shortly.

What Happened
To Your Foot?

Well, I Broke My Toe.

How Did You
Do That?

I Banged It
Against A Chest.

I'm Sorry.
Are You Okay?

I'm Fine.

Won't You Sit Down?

With The Trial Next Week,
We Should Review Your Case.

I Broke My Toe Last Summer.

Tripped On A Sprinkler Head.

I Was In Agony.

I Know What You Mean.

You Know What Made Me Mad?

They Said It Would Heal
In Two Weeks.

It Took
Nine Weeks.

Really?

What Did They Tell You?

Two Weeks.

Mine Still Hurts.

On Rainy Days

It Throbs Like Somebody's
Hitting It With A Hammer.

Mr. Barker, We Should
Get Started Here.

Certainly.

Now, On The th Of October...

Hello, Mr. Barker.

Hello, Ms. Kessler.

Clair.
Hi, Carla.

What Happened
To Your Foot?

She Broke Her Toe.

How?

Ran Into A Chest.

Oh!

Clair, That's Awful!

It's Not That Bad.

Really, It's Just
A Slight Fracture.

They Said It Would
Heal In Two Weeks.

I Say Nine.

My Cousin Broke Her Toe.

It Took Eighteen Weeks.

Eighteen? That's Terrible.

She Was Grocery Shopping
With Her Husband.

She Stopped At
The Canned Vegetables.

He Rammed Into Her
With A Shopping Cart.

No!

Yes!

Dropped A -Ounce Can
Of Green Beans On It.

She Still Hasn't Gotten
All The Feeling Back.

Mine Still Gets Numb
Occasionally.

You Broke Your Toe?

Yeah, Last Summer.

Never Healed Right.

It's Still Crooked.

My Cousin's Isn't Crooked

But It's Turned Up
At The End Like This.

Mr. Barker And I Were Beginning
To Review His Case.

Will This Toe Be
A Problem In Court?

No, I Can Walk.

I'll Cover For You.

Nope, I Want Mrs. Huxtable
In That Courtroom.

Thank You For Your Confidence.

If You Ask Me,
That Toe's Our Ticket.

I Beg Your Pardon?

When The Jury Sees You
Hobbling Around

Forget About It-

They're Yours.

Play Into It.
Let Them Know It Really Hurts.

Maybe We Should
Wrap Your Foot.

Excuse Me,
Mrs. Huxtable.

Here Are The Papers You Wanted.

Thank You.

What Happened?

I Broke My Toe.

I Bet You Know Somebody
Who Broke Their Toe.

Yes. Me.

How Soon Did It Heal?

Ten Days.

Yay!

For Your Information,
They Fit Just Fine.

Put It On.

I'll Put It On
When I Feel Like It.

What Do You Want?

Well...

I Don't Want You
To Have Any Pain

So, Knowing That You Are
Not Going To Use The Cane

I Bought You These.

And They're Ugly.

I'll Have You Know

That All Of The Fashionable
Women In Paris

Who Have Broken Toes

Wear These.

They'll Ruin The Look
Of My Entire Outfit.

Well, Do What You Want To Do.

Doesn't Make Any
Difference To Me

But These Are Here

If You Ever Need Them, Okay?

It Doesn't Make
Any Difference

What Your Little
Feet Look Like.

You'll Lose
The Contest Anyway.

That's All Right.

You'll Want To Kiss Me
Sometime Later.

They're Ugly.

Yes? Who Is It?

It's Russell.
Can I Come In?

Of Course You Can Come In.

What Are You Doing Here?

Oh, I Heard About
Your Broken Toe

So I Brought You This.

Oh, It's Very Lovely.

It Might
Come In Handy.

That's Very Thoughtful Of You.

It Belonged To My Father.

He Got It When He Was
Working On The Railroad.

One Day At The Train Station
In Schenectady

A Pullman Car Came Unhooked
And Started Rolling Backwards.

My Father Saw A Small Child
Walking On The Track.

He Ran Over

And Snatched Him Away
In The Nick Of Time.

When He
Did It

He Twisted His Knee.

The Child's Parents
Were So Grateful

They Gave My Father This Cane.

It's From Kenya.

Hand-Carved.

He Must Have Been Proud.

He Loved Walking With This Cane

Because People Asked Him
About His Injury.

Dad Said He Didn't Like
The Attention, But He Did.

Not Like Some
Other People

That Are The Opposite.

They Want To Pretend
Nothing Happened.

They Want To Keep Doing
What They Always Do.

What I'm Trying
To Say Is

Sometimes You Need Some Help.

You Need To Lean On
Someone Or Something.

You Know, Support Can
Be A Beautiful Thing.

Thank You.

Thank You
Very Much.

It's Very Nice.

I'd Be Proud To Use
Your Father's Cane.

Whew!

Look At That.

It Does Make Me
Feel Better.

You Got Her To
Use The Cane?

Sure Did.

I've Tried To Persuade Her
For Two Days

And It Takes You Two Minutes.

How Did You Do It?

Charm, Son.

How Did You Do It?

I Said It Was My Father's.

The Story Even Had A Child
And A Train.

Where Did You Really
Get It From?

I Got It From An African Store
On Flatbush Avenue.

It Was On Sale.

I'll Buy You A
Grapefruit Juice.

Come On.

Calling All Judges!

Judges, Come On.

The Contestants
Are Ready

And The Smooth Contest
Shall Begin.

Grandpa, Are You Voting?

No, I Learned
Long Ago

To Stay Out Of
Family Affairs.

Ladies And Gentlemen

Contestant Number One-
Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable.

No Flourishing, Dad.

That Was A Turn.

A Turn With Raised Arms
Is A Flourish.

Judges, No Points
For The Flourish.

Since We're Talking
About Points

I Want To Bring Up
Walking.

I Want The Judges
To Notice Walking

When They're Viewing
The Next Contestant.

Ladies And Gentlemen

Contestant Number Two-
Mrs. Clair Huxtable.

Flourish.

Dad,
Look...

That Was A Turn.

Okay, What About
The Brown Paper Bag?

That's
Ugly!

Now, Points For Ugly
For Brown Paper Bag.

Hah!

Will The Contestants
Please Line Up For The Judging?

Now, Judges

Your Applause Will
Determine The Winner.

We Have
Contestant Number One.

Yay!

Walking!

Look At
Those Shoes!

Look At
Those Shoes!

And Contestant
Number Two.

Yay!

Okay. Yes, Yes.
The Winner...

And Still Champion.

Mrs. Clair
Huxtable.

And...

And...

For The Winner Of
The Smooth Contest...

A Lovely
Wrist Corsage.

If I Had Won

This Is What You Were
Going To Put On Me?

Cliff, We're Going
To Be Late For Dinner.

The Only Reason
I'm Going With You

Is Because You're Paying
For The Dinner.

You Know
What?

It Was The Cane
That Did It.

You Like This?

This Was Your
Great-Grandfather's.

He Twisted His Knee

Saving A Child From
An Oncoming Train.

The Parents

Were So Grateful

They Bought Him
This Hand-Carved Cane...

That Was Made
In Hong Kong?!

Let's Go To Dinner.

Have A Good Time.

What A Perfect Evening.

Everything Was Perfect-

The Music, The Food,
And The Company.

Yes, Indeed.

You Know What I
Especially Liked?

What?

I Especially Enjoyed
The Part

Where They Came To Me
With The Check

Put It In Front Of Me

And My Wife Said

"I'm Sorry, Darling,
But The Check Goes Here."

Thank You.

Did You
Notice

The Way Everybody
Stared At Us

When We Danced?

It's Because They Had
Never Seen People

Sit At A Table
And Dance Before.

We Are The World's
Smoothest Table Dancers.

That Is Correct.

The People Didn't Even Know
That We Were The Greatest

And Even Some Of Them
Tried To Table Dance.

And Now That
That Is Over

I Think, Dear

It's Time To Talk About
The Matter Of My Apology.

Why Are You
Apologizing To Me?

No.

You Have To
Apologize To Me.

For What?

Because You Are A Pain.

When?

For The Last Two Days.

You Wouldn't Use Your Cane.

You Hopped Up The Steps.

You Stuck Your Tongue Out
At Me.

I Said, "Don't Go To Work."

You Yelled At Me!

You Owe Me An Apology.

Oh, Cliff.

You Do.

You Got The Most Beautiful
Little Turtle-Brown Eyes.

You Owe Me
An Apology.

Those Flecks Of Gray
In Your Hair

Make You Look So
Distinguished And Handsome.

You Owe Me
An Apology.

I Love Your Ears-

Especially This One
Over Here.

You Owe Me
An Apology.

When I See That Little
Spot Right There

I Want To Nibble On It.

Oh...

Uh... Cliff?

Mm-Hmm?

I'm Sorry.

Do You Remember
The Dip?

Yes.

Mm-Hmm.