01x19 - Clair's Case

[bunniefuu]

I'm Sorry, But I Couldn't
Pass Up This Shot.

Clair, There's Something
On Top Of My Body.

I Think It's Alive.

Go In The Kitchen--
Be Quick About It.

Get The Giant Spatula.

How Did You Two
Get Into This Position?

I Don't Know.

I Know That Earlier Today

Rudy And I Had A Disagreement
About A Cookie

And She Became Enraged,
And She att*cked Me

And We Fought
For Hours

Until We Passed Out.

I'm Sorry I Keep
Coming Home Late

But That Case Is Finished.

Things Should Return To Normal.

You Know, Rudy Never att*cks
When You're Home.

Get Her To Bed,
But Don't Wake Her.

"Don't Wake Her"?

Watch This.

You're Saying,
"Don't Wake Up This Child."

This Is The Child
On The th Of July

We Sat Up Front

They Exploded $ Million Worth
Of Firecrackers

She Never Budged.

Brass Band Played
Right In Our Faces

She Never Budged.

We Drove Her Home

Took All Her Clothes Off

Put Her In The Bathtub,
Gave Her A Bath

We Did Her Nails

And I Think
We Took Out Her Appendix.

No, You Don't Have
To Worry About That.

I'll Put Her To Bed.

You Got A Lovely Dinner
Waiting In The Kitchen.

You've Made Dinner
Three Nights In A Row.

And?

Every Meal
Has Been An Adventure.

Tonight

I Want You To Get Ready

To Visit
The Island Of Trinidad.

♪ Tabooga ♪

♪ Tabooga ♪

♪ Tabooga ♪

Hey!

♪ Tabooga ♪

Hi, Theo.

How's It Going?

How Come You're
Making That Sandwich?

Didn't You
Enjoy Trinidad?

It Was Great.

Dad's Cooking
Is Delicious.

I Just Wish He Wouldn't
Tell Us What's In It.

You Know He Likes
To Experiment.

Yesterday I Had Something
I Really Enjoyed

Until I Found Out It Was Possum
Back In A Bean Curd Sauce.

What Did He Say
This Is?

I Wouldn't Let Him
Tell Me.

You Still Hungry?

No. I Just Want To
Eat Something I Know.

What's In That Sandwich?

Peanut Butter, Jelly,
Liverwurst, Anchovies

And An Onion For Cleansing.

(Ring)

Huxtable Residence.

Frank.

No, I Don't Want A Settlement.

I Think We Have
A Very Good Case.

Aha.

Hey.

Hi, Dad.

What Is That?

Peanut Butter, Liverwurst,
Mint Jelly, Anchovies

And An Onion For Cleansing.

Boy.

Take That Thing
Up To Your Room And Eat It.

We're Not Allowed To.

Yeah, But Nobody Will
Know The Difference.

Thanks, Dad.

You Promised
To Take This To Trial.

I Feel Very Strongly About This.

If You Have To Drop The Case

Please Send The Work
You've Done So Far To Me.

Thank You.

♪ Tabooga ♪

♪ Tabooga ♪

So Who Was That?

That Was Frank Simmons

The Attorney Who Was
Handling Sondra's Case.

Was Handling The Case.

He Wants My Daughter
To Settle Out Of Court.

We Don't Want To Do That.

The Mechanic Ripped Her Off.

Somebody Should Nail
His Hide To The Wall.

Settling Out Of Court
Is The Easy Way Out.

We're Talking About
A Guilty Man.

He's Probably Ripping
People Off Night And Day.

When's The Trial?

In Three Days.

Sondra Comes Home Tonight.

So Who's Going
To Handle The Case?

I Can See By The Flaring
Of The Nostrils...

That This Poor Man-- Mechanic--
Who Ripped Off Sondra Huxtable

Is Now Going To Face The Wrath

Of Clair...

Ptoing! Toing!

"Colt Kirby" Huxtable.

I Got A Lot Of Work To Do.

Yeah.

Oh, This Is Good.

Yeah.

What Is It? Chicken?

Hmm-Mm.

Well, It's Not Veal.

No, No.

Lamb.

Wrong.

See, I Was In Bazar's,
And I Saw This Jar--

It Had Green Sauce.

You Know The International
Gourmet Restaurant?

Mm-Hmm.

And It Was
Sliced Turtles' Feet

And I Said To Myself

I Said, "Now, This Is
Very, Very Interesting."

So I Took...

You Want Some Crackers?

Well, Where You Going?

Upstairs To Get Some
Of Theo's Sandwich.

Now, Miss Huxtable

Would You Please
Tell The Court

What Mr. Wilson Said

After He Examined
Your Engine For
The First Time.

I Have The
Perfect Strategy

For This
Mechanic Fellow.

Let's Forget About The Trial

And The Three Of Us
Go To His House And Beat Him Up.

Please Take
Vanessa And Rudy

To The Museum
Or Somewhere?

I Have A Feeling

If They're Around,
They'll Disturb Us.

Thanks For
Your Help, Daddy.

Now, Miss Huxtable

Let's Start
From The Beginning.

Kindly Tell The Court
What Mr. Wilson Said

The First Time
He Saw Your Engine.

He Said It Only Had
, Miles Left In It.

Don't Say "He."

Say "Mr. Wilson"

Because This Tells The Judge
We're Showing Respect

To This Guy
We're Getting Ready To Nail.

Mom, This Is Great.

Rudy, Come On.

We're Going To See
The Dinosaurs.

I Don't Want To.

Why?

'Cause They're Big And Scary.

They Are Not Scary.

Do You Know I Happened
To Just Go By The Museum?

I Went In, And Do You Know
What The Dinosaurs Said To Me?

"Doctor Huxtable,
Where Is Rudy Today?"

No, They Didn't.

What If We See Something Else
Like The Prehistoric Man?

Who's He?

These Are People That Lived
Thousands Of Centuries Ago

Called Cavemen.

Were They Afraid
Of The Dinosaurs?

They Used To Keep Them As Pets.

But They Didn't Stay Long

'Cause People Would Take Them
For A Walk And Never Come Back.

Sometimes If The Kid Didn't Go
To The Museum With The Parent

They Would Say,
"Here, Take This One."

What Are You
Doing There?

Are You Doing
A Science Project?

Now You're
A Pirate.

But They Used To Have
The Brinosauromoreasises.

Say That.

Sinabrontomorisses.

No, No. The
Brontasaurmormafizznasisses.

Bronta...
Bronta...

Mona...

Yeah.
Sorna...

Sornamiss...

Missas...

Missasissis.

Missasissis.

That's
Right.

And They Had
The Plopasaurnamissasis

And He Talked Like This:

"Let's Go To The Museum."

Okay.

All Finished, Dad.

Well, Thank You
For Helping

Keep This Place Shipshape

While Your Mother
Works On Sondra's Case.

When You Use Navy Words,
It Means I Have To Start Over.

Let's Put It
This Way...

See, Dad, I Had Some Problems
Getting The Sheets Smooth.

I Understand

Because It Looks Like There's
Somebody Else Underneath It.

Don't Be Afraid Of Sheets.

You See, You Must Not
Be Afraid Of Sheets.

You Move Quickly,
Take Them Down.

Now Look At That-- Wrinkles.

Put Your Hand Like This.

Don't Be Ashamed.

Just Bring Them On Out.

Now You're Cooking.

Now, Sheets.

You Want To Snap The Sheets.

Snap, You Understand?

Snap!

Snap!

I'll Give You A Hand.

That's It.
Snap It.

Just Keep Working.

Smooth-- That's It.

You're Doing That
On Purpose!

Now Look, You Finish The Bed,
I'll Be Back For You On Tuesday.

Rudy, You
Missed A Spot.

No, No, No, No.

This Is Not
What I'm Talking About.

We Tried, But Rudy Begged Us
To Let Her Mop.

Denise, You're Supposed
To Swab The Deck.

Oh, No, He's Using Navy Words.

Daddy,
Mopping's Theo's Job.

Theo's A Deck Above Making Beds.

I Make The Beds.

You've Been Promoted.

Seaman Rudy Huxtable.

Aye, Aye, Sir.

What Is This?

A Mop, Sir.

And The Proper Way To Mop,
Since You All Don't Know

Is To Dunk It Into The Water,
And Then You Bring It Up.

You Look At It,
And Then You Don't Wring It Out.

You Gently Ooze The Water Out.

You Don't Put It Down
And Move Things Like That.

That's What Theo Does.

And That's Why Theo
Is Making The Beds.

You Take The Mop,
You Do It The Navy Way.

You Twirl It Around-- Blap!

See How Beautiful That Is?

Then You
Thrust Your Hip Forward.

You Shovel, Throw It Out,
Then You Turn And Then You Slap.

Let That Dirt Know
That You're Coming After It.

So Throw The Hip Forward,
Shovel, Turn, Slap!

Shovel, Turn, Slap!

Shovel, Turn, Slap!

Shovel, Turn, Slap!

Come On, Do It.

In Unison:
Shovel, Turn, Slap!

Shovel, Turn, Slap!

Shovel,Turn, Slap!

Shovel, Turn, Slap!

Shovel, Turn, Slap!

Shovel, Turn, Slap!

Shovel, Turn, Slap!

Shovel, Turn, Slap!

Shovel, Turn, Slap!

Shovel, Turn, Slap!

Shovel, Turn, Slap!

(Impersonating Julia Child)
And We Grate The Cheese.

And You Really Don't Have To
Worry About Cheese...

Aha!

Come Here.

Just The Person
I Want To See.

A Little Taste Test Here.

I'll Wait Until Dinner.

Fine.

Dinner!

Come On Down!
I Know You're Up There.

All Right, Come On.

Are You Hungry?

In Unison:
No.

Good, Sit Down.

I Know You're Hungry.

All Right.

Step Up
Here.

What Is It Tonight, Dad?

French? Italian?
Chinese?

Right.

Mmm, Smells Great.

We Know The
"Smells Great" Trick.

In Unison:
Eww.

How Can You
Eat That?

Go Away To College
For A Long Time.

You'll Eat Anything Home-Cooked.

Rudy!

In Unison:
Eww!

What's That?

Cow's Tongue.

I'm Getting Out Of Here.

Wait, Wait, Wait.

I'm Just Using This
For Flavor.

Good. I Don't Want To Taste
Anything That Can Taste Me.

Next He'll Have Bats
Flying Around Here.

What Time Is It?

: .

I Love It When You Practice Law
In Your Pajamas.

I Wish I Had More Than
Three Days To Prepare This.

This Man Has Been Sued Twice

And Has
Gotten Off.

That Was Before
He Faced Clair Huxtable.

Clair "Colt" Huxtable.

Can I
Come And Watch?

It's Just A Civil Case.

It Won't Be That Exciting.

Not Exciting!?

You're Going After Him
With Both Barrels.

I'll Be Prepared.

You Sit There Talking
With That Cool Attorney Talk.

Now Tell Me, Just What Is
In Store For Mr. Wilson?

Mr. Wilson Is Going To Get
Exactly What He's Got Coming.

I Like Your Style.

Why Don't You Take
A Little Break?

I Can't.

You've Got A Lot
Of Tension In You.

I Do Not.

I Felt It
In Your Lips.

I've Really Got
A Lot Of Work To Do Here.

Want Me To
Give You A Back Rub?

No, I Really Have Some Things
To Attend To Here.

Don't Do That.

Your Back Rubs
Are Lethal.

If You Rub My Back,
I'll Fall Asleep.

I'll Give You
An Arm Rub.

Want An Elbow Rub?

Stop That.

I'll Tell You What.

I'd Love A Back Rub
When I'm Finished.

How Long Is All This
Going To Take?

About An Hour.

I'll Probably
Fall Asleep By Then.

If You Do, You Die.

I Better Stay Awake.

No, Sir,
I Never Have.

Thank You,
Mr. Wilson.

No Further Questions,
Your Honor.

Your Witness,
Counselor.

Mr. Wilson, How Long
Have You Been In Business?

Six Years In May.

Have You Ever Made
An Unnecessary Repair?

Absolutely Not.

I'm An Honest Man.
I Never Cheat Anyone.

Just Answer-- Yes Or No?

You Come To
A Lot Of These?

Once In A While.

I'm Here Every Day.

Are You Aware That
In The Past Months

Complaints Have Been
Filed Against You?

Objection. Counsel Is Defaming
The Character Of My Client.

Objection Overruled.

People Are Always
Griping About Mechanics.

You Might Say
We're A Lot Like Lawyers.

That's Amusing, Mr. Wilson.

He's Going To Pay
For That One.

Want A Bite
Of My Orange?

No, Thank You.

I Generally Bring An Apple

But The Clerk Says
I Make Too Much Noise.

Mr. Wilson

What Percentage Of Your Business
Involves Engine Replacement?

I Guess ... Percent.

She's Setting Him Up.

In Six Years

One-Fourth Of Your Customers
Had An Engine Removed.

You Must Have Storage Problems.

We Keep Some Of Them

And Others Go To
The Junk Dealers.

She Just Drew Blood.

I Hear You.

You Replaced The Plaintiff's
Old Engine With A Rebuilt Engine

Purchased From
Olympus Engine Company.

This Invoice States

That The Serial Number On The
Rebuilt Engine Is Rn .

Is That Correct?

If That's What It Says.

I'd Like To Submit This Invoice
As Exhibit A.

She's Sharp.

Not Bad Looking, Either.

Where Do You Find
The Engine Serial Number?

On A Metal Sticker
Riveted Onto The Engine Block.

She's Going In
For The k*ll.

Is This An Engine Sticker?

Yeah.

When I Removed This

From The Rebuilt Engine You
Placed In Miss Huxtable's Car

I Found Another
Serial Number Underneath

That Was Imprinted
On The Engine Itself.

That Second
Number Matches

The One On The Car's
Original Bill Of Sale.

Mr. Wilson Has Charged
Miss Huxtable

For An Engine
He Never Replaced.

Your Honor, Can I Take
A Five-Minute Break Here?

YouCan't Ask
For A Recess.

Defense Requests
A -Minute Recess.

This Court Stands Recessed
For Minutes.

What Does
This Mean?

It Means We're
About To Win.

That's Some
Kind Of Woman, Man.

I Think I'm Going To
Ask Her Out.

I Don't Know, Man.

She Probably Has
A Big Boyfriend.

I Can't Help Myself.

I'm Going To
Ask Her Anyway.

Pardon Me?

I Really Enjoyed
The Way You Handled That Case.

Thank You.

When Did You Graduate
From Law School?

Last Year.

Do You Have A Boyfriend?

Would You Like One?

If The Right Guy Comes Along.

Would You Have Coffee With Me?

Okay.

Then Maybe After Coffee
We Could Get Married.

Okay.