03x21 - Jungle Man/Mary Ann and Miss Sophisticate

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Fantasy Island". Aired: January 14, 1977 – May 19, 1984.*
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Guests are granted so-called "fantasies" on the island for a price.
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03x21 - Jungle Man/Mary Ann and Miss Sophisticate

Post by bunniefuu »

(BELL TOLLING)

The plane! The plane!

Smiles, everyone. Smiles.

(PLAYING POLYNESIAN MUSIC)

TATTOO: Is that the Jungle Man?

ROARKE: Yes.
Mr. David Farley, the actor,

is no doubt better known as
Jungle Man than by his own name.

What has he been doing
since the TV series ended?

Very little, my friend.

Playing the role of Jungle Man for
over a decade typecast him so badly

that he hasn't been able to find
any work at all for the last two years.

But I read about him making personal
appearances at fairs and things like that.

Yes, he was making his
living that way for a short time.

But now even that activity
has been forbidden to him.

Forbidden?

Yes, you see, the producers of his
old series own the name "Jungle Man."

They have obtained a
court order barring Mr. Farley

from ever appearing anywhere
in his former role or costume.

So it is Mr. Farley's fantasy to have
one last grand adventure as Jungle Man,

the role he came to love
more than his own life.

Ah! That young lady is
Miss Mary Ann Carlin.

Possibly the most famous
ventriloquist in the world.

I remember her. I
saw her act in Paris.

She's fantastic.
She's wonderful.

She is ostensibly here for an engagement
in the Fantasy Island Supper Club.

But she's actually come to us
with a much more serious problem.

What problem can she have? She's young
and beautiful. And she's a great success.

Miss Carlin fears she's paying
too high a price for that success.

You see, every person has a very
complex system of behavioral patterns

which we call personality.

Some patterns are
good, some bad.

In the case of Miss Carlin, she has
divided too many of her personality traits

with her puppet, Valerie.

Are you saying that part of her
personality lives in her puppet?

Precisely.

TATTOO: What's her fantasy?

To separate herself from this
Jezebel half of her personality,

at least for this weekend, so she
can sort out her life and determine

which of her
personalities is dominant.

What she must face
is very dangerous.

If she should fail,

the Valerie part of her
personality could become

the instrument of
her own destruction.

My dear guests, I am
Mr. Roarke, your host.

Welcome to Fantasy Island!

VALERIE: How do you like my
ring, darling? Omar gave it to me.

You remember Omar, that oil man?
It was part of our divorce settlement.

Oh, I remember. Omar
was your third husband.

Fourth. I made
him a millionaire.

Of course, he was
a multimillionaire

when I met him.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Oh, he wants to marry me again

to get back some of the
money I married him for.

Oh, I think I'm
getting a migraine.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Valerie, I am appalled that you'd
marry somebody just for money.

No, no, darling. You don't marry
for money. You divorce for it.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Is that all you ever think
about, is men? Men and money?

What about love, romance?

Oh, Mary Ann, you're so common.

Why must you be a wet
blanket? Don't your juices flow?

Honey, what you need
is some young blood.

I have young blood.

Why keep it in such
an old container?

(ALL LAUGHING)

And speaking of old...

That's enough, Valerie.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen,
for being such a nice audience.

It was wonderful being with you.

VALERIE: Speak for yourself.

Most enjoyable, Miss Carlin.

I love your act. Thank you.

Tattoo, Mr. Roarke, I'd like you to
meet my manager, George Reardon.

How do you do? How
do you do, Mr. Reardon?

Hello. How do you do, sir?

Aren't you gonna
introduce me, dummy?

After all, I am the
better half of the act.

I mean, who goes
to see Plain Jane.

This is my colleague, Valerie.

How do you do, Valerie?

Hello, Valerie.

Say goodbye, Valerie.

(GRUNTS)

One of these days...

If you are ready, one of our drivers will
take you to your bungalow now, Miss Carlin.

Of course.

I'll meet you later for lunch
and dancing and riding.

Let's have some fun.

As soon as I get
settled in. All right.

Nice meeting you.
Our pleasure, sir.

Well, Mr. Reardon seems
very fond of you, Miss Carlin.

It's mutual.

He don't seem to know
why you're really here.

He doesn't.

Part of my reason for wanting to get my
head straightened out is so we can find out

how we really feel
about each other.

ROARKE: I see.

And are you worried that he
might find the Valerie part of you

more intriguing or appealing or
fascinating than the Mary Ann?

ROARKE: Well, Mr. Farley,
are you ready for your fantasy?

Ready?

I've been waiting for this
chance for the past two years.

Ever since my television
series was cancelled.

You keep in good shape.

I trained for this role like a fighter
trains for a shot at the championship.

Maybe harder.
Because in a way, I...

I don't know, I kind of
became the character.

I am Jungle Man.

Or at least, the old me was.

Which, as the producer's lawyers
said, makes me an obsolete man.

It's kind of hard on the ego
being called obsolete at 37.

You don't want to hear it.

Even if it is true.

Boss, maybe we could help
him to sue those producers.

Thanks, Tattoo.

But giving me this one last
fling as Jungle Man is all I ask.

Oh, your fantasy will be more
than just an acting fling, Mr. Farley.

It will be real.

Okay, I'm in your hands.

The other characters
from my television series,

will they be there, too?

Mara, your wife, yes.

Your enemy, Derek
Haskell, the white hunter.

Prester John, your faithful
native friend. And Princess...

Rima. Princess Rima.

You know, who wanted to... You
and her... You know what I mean.

They sound kind
of corny, don't they?

I don't know, maybe we were.

Our stories were just simple. Good
versus evil. The audience loved it.

We all did. I still
watch the reruns.

That's why I need this fantasy.

If I can become that
character one more time,

being strong, confident,
able to handle things,

maybe when I come back, I can
put the pieces of my own life together.

(SIGHS)

If it doesn't work...

(SIGHS)

You understand, Mr. Farley, your
fantasy has been one of the most difficult

we've ever attempted.
Hasn't it, Tattoo?

Right, boss.

Yes, the people from your past,

whom I just mentioned,
will be there, alive,

in the same way that
other famous fictional

characters, Oliver
Twist, Sherlock Holmes,

Sir Galahad and
Hamlet can come alive,

with motives, passions and
honesties true to themselves.

I pick up where I left off?

Not quite. They got a new life of
their own since the series ended.

So you must understand, Mr. Farley,
you will have no script to follow,

no stunt men in dangerous situations.
You will have only yourself to rely on.

And since it will all be real,

if you are k*lled during
your adventure, Mr. Farley,

you will be dead
a very long time.

(SIGHS)

Mara, all of it, real.

I couldn't ask for more than
that, Mr. Roarke. When do I start?

Now.

Just through that door.

Good luck, Jungle Man.

FARLEY: What's he talking
about? There's no way out of here.

Mr. Roarke...

It's happening. Roarke did it.

Oh! Please, come in.

Thank you, Miss Carlin.

Are the accommodations
satisfactory?

Yes. They're
beautiful, Mr. Roarke.

Oh, I am very pleased.

But what happens now?

First, I must ask you if you are
sure you want to go through with this.

Oh, yes.

Are you willing to risk the many
possible dangers that will confront you?

I have to.

Valerie's influence, her
personality, frighten me, Mr. Roarke.

I'm afraid she wants to
take possession of me.

And I've got to get her
out of my mind for 48 hours

so I can decide what
to do with my life.

That is precisely the danger.

You see, I can only
accomplish what you wish

by making an ultimate
extension of your split personality.

What do you mean?

I must make the division
absolutely complete

by giving life...

Apparent life,

to your other half.

You mean,

bring Valerie to life?

But that's impossible.
She's a wooden dummy.

Miss Carlin, this
is Fantasy Island.

Things are possible here,

which can occur no other place.

I'm sorry, but there
is no other way.

So you must decide
if you want to risk it.

Risk it?

I'll do anything to be completely
free of her for a weekend.

Very well.

Is she really alive, Mr. Roarke?

Yes.

And how do you
feel, Miss Carlin?

Wonderful.

I've never felt freer or better.

I am so pleased.

And I don't want to
waste a minute of it.

In fact, George asked me to have lunch
with him and take a tour around the island.

I'm gonna find him right now.

(DOOR OPENING)

(DOOR CLOSING)

She's a very stupid girl.

No, a very nice girl.

And very vulnerable.

But she really didn't
understand what you said.

That this is a contest to see
whose personality is dominant.

Hers or mine.

That's true.

She thinks she might want
to leave this island without me.

She's half right.

I think only one
of us will leave.

And it'll be me...

even if I have to k*ll her.

Prester John, old friend,
it is good to see you.

What is wrong? Do
you not recognize me?

I know you, Jungle Man.

What are you doing?

(CHUCKLES)

Your question reveals how
long you have been away.

I collect poison from
pumba plant for w*r arrows.

w*r?

What has happened?

In a special ceremony tomorrow,

Princess Rima will sign a paper
to sell our land to foreigners.

They will strip our
soil for minerals,

and my people will die.
And so will our way of life.

But many others
will die with us.

Who convinced Princess
Rima to sign these papers?

Have you forgot Derek Haskell

as you forgot those of
us who called you friend?

I did not forget
you or your people.

Prester John, I only
wish I could explain,

so you would understand
why I've been away.

Well, it matters no longer.

What will happen
now will happen.

Have you been to your home?

I'm going there now to see Mara.

Goodbye, Jungle Man.

Wait.

This w*r you plan,

give me time to
find another way.

Your words are
like your presence.

Too late.

Mara?

Mara?

Mara?

(g*n FIRES)

(GEORGE AND MARY ANN LAUGHING)

I don't think I've ever
seen you happier.

Well, maybe it's
because I'm free.

Free of what?

MARY ANN: Oh, just free.

Dinner later?

Yeah. I'll be ready at 8:00.

Hello, sweet, sweet Mary Ann.

Well, I'm sure you have
more to look at than I do.

Why do you dislike me so much?

Dislike you?

I hate you.

For the same
reasons you hate me.

And you've been thinking of
getting rid of Valerie, haven't you?

Well, have you ever
stopped to imagine that

Valerie's been thinking
of getting rid of Mary Ann?

Now look, lady,
you've had the best of it.

When the act was finished,
I was stuck away in that box.

Now, I was the
passion in this twosome.

And I was locked up and
I had no place to spend it.

Look, I'm sorry. I didn't
even know you had feelings.

You didn't know?

What does that change?

(GROANS)

This is wonderful.

I'm a part of you, but
you're not a part of me.

That means that
you can feel my pain

and my passion, and I
can't feel any of yours.

Now, my dear...

I'm gonna make you suffer

the way you made me suffer
all those years in that trunk.

Aah!

Ow!

Oh, no!

Oh, please, stop it!

(MARY ANN SOBBING)

My dear, you've just shown
me the way to destroy you.

So pretty. Would you like to
have a dress like that? Yes?

Let me see how you look.

Oh, beautiful.
Isn't she gorgeous?

Wait, I have
another one for you.

Let's see.

I think it should be...

Hello, Mara.

One day you kissed me

and you said you would
be home before sundown.

I waited two years of
sundown before I came here.

Now I have a new life.

And then this day, you
come and say "Hello, Mara."

Well, I have news for you.
Mara has nothing to say to you.

You made a mistake to come back.

A bad mistake, Jungle Man.

I have business with Rima.

We'll talk later, Mara.

I own her now.

We'll talk about
that later, too.

If you live that long.

I'll live.

Long enough.

(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

Aren't you gonna
say hello, George?

Who are you?

Someone that knows
a great deal about you.

Me?

How?

You wouldn't
believe it if I told you.

Don't you feel that
somehow you know me, too?

Yes.

Of course you do, George.

You don't understand that
now, but you know it's true.

You can't help yourself.

I'm part of something you love.

Mr. Roarke?

I had a strong feeling you
wished to see me, Mr. Farley.

(SIGHS)

Look, it's not working out.

It was bad enough when my
real life was wiped out. But...

But now my fantasy life
is being wiped out, too.

Things have gone to hell here
with everybody I care about.

I can't even explain why
I've been gone for two years.

Not to Prester John and
especially not to Mara.

How could they understand?

You disappoint me, Mr. Farley.
It seems you've failed.

Failed? It's not my fault...

Well, you told me you were
Jungle Man. I believed you.

But you are thinking and
talking like Mr. David Farley,

unemployed actor. Wait a minute.

Do you wish to leave Fantasy Island
and leave those people to their fate?

Is that your concept of the character
you said you had become? Is it?

The alternative is to continue
your fantasy. To be Jungle Man.

A man of action and,
above all, courage.

A man who lets his actions
speak for themselves.

And, as I recall, in
nearly 300 episodes,

a man who never explained
anything to anybody.

Isn't that the simple directness
you and the audience loved?

There is Jungle Man's world.

Your world, if
you make it yours.

You know, Mr. Roarke, I'm
beginning to see what you mean.

I'll find a way...

I'll find a way.

Valerie, stop it! Oh, please!

I've come to see Princess Rima.

RIMA: Stop!

So, my Jungle Man returns.

I must talk to you, Rima.

Are my kisses so unpleasant?

I want you to stop the sale of
the land, to destroy the papers.

Rima, you know the people
as I do. You know they will die.

But then you will be
rich. You and Haskell.

And you, too,

if you will join me.

Be careful, Jungle Man.

If you're not my lover,
you will be my enemy.

Destroy the papers, Rima.

Don't be a fool.

Then I will stop you.

You know, letting
him go was a mistake.

No.

I have a better
way of beating him.

Good morning.

My, but you do look
terrible this morning, dear.

How could you?

Oh, now, now. You should
be thanking me, actually.

Didn't you enjoy
our little romance?

I loathed it.

(CHUCKLES)

Don't you know that
you can't lie to yourself?

You were the puppet this
time, and I was the puppeteer.

How'd you like it?

Did I pull the right strings?

Did your lips kiss back?

Did you feel his
hands on your body?

Stop it!

Hmm.

Stop it? Is that what you
said last night? "Stop it."

Is that what you've
always said to George?

"Stop it, George"?

George?

Of course, it was George.

After all these years, I
finally beat you to him.

Well, at least you know
what you've been missing.

And now so does George.

You are sick.

No.

I'm merely everything that
you've always suppressed.

Passion, the joy, the ecstasy.

All the reasons
for staying alive.

And that's exactly what I intend on
doing, sweet, innocent little Mary Ann.

Live.

(SCOFFS)

Mary Ann will die.
Valerie will live.

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACH)

Saw Princess Rima. She plans to
go ahead with the sale of the land.

I told her I would stop
her. With your help I will.

How can you do that?

Our army will be invisible.

Therefore countless and magical.

We will fight as we did
in the old days, together.

We will defeat Derek
and Princess Rima.

These are not the old days.

But we will fight
together this one.

For the last time.

(MARY ANN GASPS)

(SCREAMS)

A simple way to
establish dominance.

And it works.

We have a very special
show planned for you tonight,

dear, sweet little Mary Ann.

No. Shut up!

You'll speak only when I give you
permission to speak, remember?

Let's see now.

What would my
little puppet wear?

Well, certainly not
one of my costumes.

Something more primitive.

Yes.

This will do quite nicely.

Don't you think?

(SCOFFS)

Tonight I will be
Miss Sophisticate.

And you...

You will be the dummy.

My own creation.

Miss Unsophisticate.

What are you doing here?

I come here often.

What about you and Derek?

Do you think that if I had wanted to be
his woman, I would have waited so long?

(SIGHS)

Mara.

I could build our
home strong again.

And how long will you stay

before you disappear again
into the world beyond the jungle?

You are right.

I won't lie to you.

I must leave again tomorrow.

Then take me with you.

I can't.

Back in civilization, I
can't even support myself.

Mara, I'm not what you
think I am. I'm not strong.

Then what is to become of me?

If you're telling me to go...

and to be Haskell's woman...

this is my answer.

The time has come, my
friends, for the signing ceremony.

A new day is about
to begin for this land.

A time of plenty, of
progress, of opportunity.

The paper cannot be signed!

RIMA: Seize him!

I said seize him!

The jungle around
you is filled with death.

Now destroy the papers.

Do you really believe I ruled all
these years by being so stupid?

You're beaten, Jungle Man.

Signal your men and tell them to

take those silly
blowguns and leave now.

Or else she dies.

Now hear me, you two.

Release my wife or
it will be you who die.

DEREK: Come on, you're stalling.

Now bring her here.

No! He's bluffing!

(GASPS)

What's it gonna be, Haskell?

I told you we should
have k*lled him.

Well, Derek Haskell's not
gonna die for you or any woman.

Let her go.

I never would have given in.

I know.

Goodbye, Rima.

Jungle Man?

Will we meet again?

VALERIE: Ladies and gentlemen,

I'm delighted to have you here this evening
for this special farewell performance

of my little puppet.

Or more correctly,
my little dummy,

my alter ego for these
many years, Mary Ann.

Oh, yes, yes. I know it's sad.

But this is definitely the
last time she will ever appear.

(CHUCKLES)

Anywhere.

Not that anyone ever took much
notice of her with me there to look at.

Check the action, honey.

When you were a little girl, they
probably called it fluid drought.

(CANNED APPLAUSE)

They call it something else now.

Girl power.

(CANNED LAUGHTER)

Will you please pay attention?

Look at her.

(CHUCKLES)

If you dipped her face in batter, you
could probably make gorilla cookies.

(CANNED LAUGHTER)

Talk about a figure.

This morning, she came into
my room and tried on my bikini.

Have you ever seen a pair of
pliers wrapped in a Band-Aid?

(LAUGHING)

Take a good look, honey.

When you're gone, these will
be my sole means of support.

(CHUCKLING)

You know, sometimes I think Mary
Ann wouldn't even move a splinter

unless I told her to.

(CANNED LAUGHTER)

Watch this.

Ow!

ROARKE: Fight her, Miss
Carlin. Look inside yourself.

Find your own dominant
strengths and traits.

Believe in yourself, Mary Ann.

It's the only way. Fight
her. Break her spell.

I've won, Valerie.

It's all over.

Put that down!

I'll k*ll you.

I'm free, Mr. Roarke. Thank you.

You're a most courageous
young woman, Miss Carlin.

It is time to go, Mr. Farley.
Your fantasy is over.

Mr. Roarke, I just can't leave.

Mara's my wife and I love
her. These are my people.

If I go with you,

I go back to being a pathetic,
obsolete human being.

That would k*ll me.

I see.

Well, it's a highly
unusual request.

But if you wish to stay
here, it can be done.

You realize, of course, that
such a decision is irrevocable.

We wouldn't have
it any other way.

In that case,
goodbye, Mr. Farley...

Jungle Man.

Goodbye, Madame.
Goodbye, sir. And good luck.

Thank you, Mr. Roarke,
for saving my life.

What are you going to do now?

Are you gonna start all over
again with a new kind of puppet?

Puppet? Yes, well, I've heard
husbands called that before.

We're going to be married
as soon as we get home.

Oh, I am very
happy for both of you.

Goodbye, Mr. Roarke.
Goodbye, Mr. Reardon.

Bye-bye. Bye.

Miss Carlin. Goodbye. Bye.

(IN ROARKE'S VOICE)
Boss, you really did it this time.

I love happy endings.
And I want to...
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