02x06 - Porko's II

[bunniefuu]

["♪ Gimme a break, I sure deserve it ♪



♪ Gimme a break, I sure deserve it ♪


♪ It's time I made it to the top ♪


♪ Gimme a break, I'm looking forward ♪


♪ Get behind me, pull out every stop ♪


♪ I want a happy ending, I'm tired of pretending ♪


♪ Won't let 'em get the best of me ♪


♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa


♪ Gimme a break


♪ The game is survival


♪ Gimme a break


♪ And plan my arrival


♪ Gimme a break


♪ For heaven's sake


♪ What happened to my piece of the cake? ♪


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break!


Well, I'll give this one to julie.


Breakfast is served!


I hope that girl gets a rich husband.


Hi.


Hi, how you doing?


Yeah, I'll take that.


Okay. Thanks.


Nell, what's this word?


Oh, that's "cliché."


What's a cliché?


That's a black woman serving pancakes to a white kid.


If the sun is shining, how come all the lights are on?


Aw, that's so we can see your smiling face, chief.


You want to see me smile, stop shrinking my shorts.


Is this a new brand of coffee?


Oh, well, you see, to save money,


I've been using the same grounds for two weeks.


Tastes pretty good.


I'll have to try that down at the station house.


If anybody wants me, I'll be out mowing the lawn.


I'll help you, dad.


I love it when he tries to start the lawn mower.


He gets mad, and I learn lots of great new words.


[ Doorbell rings ]


Who could that be?


Probably some huge k*ller moth attracted by all these lights.


Valerie! You guys, it's valerie!


Julie [ gasps ] she brought david!


Nell hi.


I hope you don't mind us just dropping in like this.


Oh, girl, you don't an invitation. Hi, little david.


Oh, he's so gorgeous.


Yeah, he's the best thing that ever happened to me.


Well, come on now. Give aunt katie a big smile.


Aww. What beautiful gums you have!


Aww.


You remember auntie nell? Hmm?


I'm the one that talked your mommy and daddy


Into getting married -- on the day you were born.


Yeah.


Here, you can hold him if you like.


Oh, thanks. Oh, isn't he beautiful?


Aww.


Oh, he's just like all the men in my life.


First, they drool on me.


Then they fall asleep.


I guess it's time for his nap.


Mmm. Hey, why don't you put him in my bed?


Oh, okay.


[ Coos ]


I'll rock him to sleep in one of nell's bras.


Oh, val, he's so beautiful.


You know, he's got jonathan's eyes,


But other than that, he looks just like you.


Yeah.


So, how is jonathan?


Well, he was fine the last time I saw him.


Oh, that's good. You know, he really is a nice guy.


Yeah, and a real hunk.


The last time I saw him was when he walked out on me.


Change that "hunk" to "skunk."


Valerie, when did this happen?


Six months ago.


Six -- well, why didn't you tell me?


I was too ashamed. That's why I didn't tell you.


Every time anybody called,


I kept saying jonathan was in the shower.


Honey, they must have thought you were married to a prune.


You mean, he walked out just like that?


Yeah, with the bleach blonde from kentucky fried chicken.


Well, it sounds like he got


More than a cluck for his buck.


Val, cheer up, okay?


Yeah, you know, honey, life isn't always a bowl of cherries.


Sometimes, it's -- it's just the pits.


Well, mine is just the pits.


Tomorrow, we're being evicted because I can't pay the rent.


My parents won't even talk to me.


I have no place to stay.


[ Baby crying, footsteps approaching ]


Valerie, i-i guess he's hungry.


Do you want me to feed him?


Well, thanks for the offer, but he's not used to eating out.



I'm gonna get a trash bag.


Hey, dad, you better get your glasses, too.


Why?


That's twice now


You've run over dog stuff with the lawn mower.


Valerie!


Hi, val.


Hey, it's good to see you.


What are you up to nowad-- oh.


What's the matter?


Oh, nothing.


I just didn't realize that you were...


B-r-e-a-s-t-feeding.


Um, dad, that spells "breast."


Thank you, honey.


Now, look, uh, wouldn't you be more comfortable,


Uh, doing that where it's dark?


Chief, why don't we just blindfold the baby?


Come on, relax over here with me.


You do remember little david, don't you?


Oh, yeah, sure, little david.


Who could forget such a beautiful booby?


Uh, uh, I mean, baby.


Look, dad --


Samantha, whatever you're gonna ask me,


It can wait until you're .


I'm just breast-feeding, samantha.


Mothers' milk is much healthier than cows' milk.


Yeah, and you don't even have to keep the jugs on ice.


Go mow the lawn!


We just did that.


Well, then, mow the sidewalk.


So, how's that husband of yours?


Chief, maybe you should --


You know, I really like that kid.


He drops by the station house every once in a while


And leaves off a bucket of kentucky fried chicken.


[ Sobs ]


Well, what's the matter?


Don't you like chicken?


Chief, he walked out on them.


Walked out?


He walked out on you?!


Why, that lousy, little punk!


How could he walk out on a wife and a -- and a newborn son?


I don't know, but that's what he did.


Well, don't worry, valerie.


You still have the baby.


Hmm. For the moment, anyway.


What do you mean "for the moment"?


I love him too much to let him go through life like this.


I can't even take care of him.


I'm putting him up for adoption.


Wait a minute. You can't do that.


Yes, I can! I have to.


I don't have any choice. I'm just no good for him!


Valerie.


Look, we're not going to let you do that!


Right, chief?


Right, chief?


He agrees with me.


You see, an old neck injury


Keeps his head from nodding up and down.


Right, chief?


Could I see you in the kitchen for a minute?


Why?


Because I want to change a light bulb,


And I need you to turn the ladder.


Look, I hate to say this,


But maybe she ought to put the baby up for adoption.


Every day, down at the station house,


I see kids who are the products of broken homes like that,


And they're usually being fingerprinted and booked.


Believe me, valerie and her baby


Will both be better off that way.


Well, what do you think?


That's the last time I ask for your opinion.


Hey, dad? Isn't he cute?


And now I can't decide whether I want a baby or a puppy.


[ Chuckles ]


Have a puppy baby,


And then you'll end up on "that's incredible!"


Give the baby back to its mother.


Aw, chief, having a baby isn't contagious.


Anyway, valerie's gone.


Gone? Where?


With katie and julie, back to her old apartment


To pick up some of david's clothes.


I hope she brings some diapers back.


If not, we can all take turns holding him out the window.


Come on.


We don't have much time. Maybe we can catch them.


Whoo.


Hey, chief. Chief. Take the baby.


[ Coos ]


Hey, you can't leave me alone with a baby!


Watch me.


Come on, quit playing games, nell.


What if it cries...


Or worse?



Well, it'll come back to you.


It's like riding a bicycle.


My bicycle never wet its own seat.


Well, what are you looking so sad about, huh?


Look like the end of the world's coming.


What's the matter, huh?


Yeah, well, what's your beef? Give me a hint.


[ Coos ]


You didn't have to hint all over my pants.


What are we gonna do now?


There hasn't been a diaper in this house


Since samantha was a baby.


That's all right. All right, we'll figure out something.


Patty-cake, patty-cake, baker's man,


Pack me or bake me or make me a pie or a cake


Fast as you can in your old pan.


Baking, baking, in your old pan.


Patty-cake, patty-cake, baker's man.


There you go.


Yeah.


You getting bored with that one?


Yeah, I think it's pretty boring myself.


♪ Bum-ba-dum-bum


♪ Bum-ba-dum-bum


♪ Bum-ba-dum-bum


♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-bum-bum


♪ Bum-bum ba-dum


♪ Bum-da-dum


♪ Bum-ba-dum


♪ Bum-ba-dum


♪ Ba-dum-bum-bum


'Round and 'round the garden went the teddy bear.


One step, two step, tickle him under there.


"The little engine said, 'i think I can.


I think I can. I think I can,'"


Which is amazing, 'cause at my age, I'm not sure.


[ Coos ]


All right. Freeze!


You're under arrest!


Drop your g*ns!


Huh?


Choo-choo. It's tough.


Poor, little train.


[ Playing beethoven's "fur elise" ]


Look it. David put daddy to sleep.


What's going on?


I got david some clothes.


At least he'll look good


When we bring him to the adoption agency.


Are you out of your mind?


And I thought you said that, uh...he might be better off.


Well, since when did you start listening to me?


Baby goes out of this house over my dead body,


And you're talking to a man


Who has two bulletproof vests and a riot helmet in his closet.


Yeah.


I'm gonna show them to you later.


You mean that they can stay?


Yeah, she has to stay until she gets a job.


Oh, I've never had a job in my life.


Valerie, our job is gonna be to find you a job.


I really appreciate this, but I haven't got a chance.


I go to pieces in interviews.


I get this vacant stare,


And all I can do is smile and nod my head.


Well, it worked for nancy reagan.


Let's all sit down, go through the want ads,


And find valerie a job.


You know, chief,


If I didn't think your brain would melt,


I would give you a kiss.


Whoo.


You nervous?


No. I'm cuke as a cool-cumber.


Relax, baby.


I'm gonna b*mb out for sure.


Just look at all the competition.


Well, honey,


You got one thing going for you that they ain't.


What's that?


Moi.


Be right back. [ Clears throat ]


[ Sniffing ]


Whoo.


Excuse me, is something rotten in your purse?


What? What do you mean?


That smell, honey. Don't you smell it?


[ Both sniffing ]


I don't smell anything.


I don't mean to be personal,


But have you been sucking on some old socks?


Do I have, um, um, morning mouth?


Morning, noon, and nighttime.


Excuse me.


It smells like, while you were asleep,


Something crawled into your mouth and died.


I like her.


[ Laughter ]


Oh, my god!


Since she left, I guess I'm, like, next.



I hope I get it.


Oh, boy, are you gonna get it.


Like, are you here for the receptionist job or what?


I am, but she's not.


Oh, for sure.


Is she your maid?


No, she's my friend.


Oh, I am such a geek!


God!


Calling you a maid is, like, the biggest cut.


I mean, it's tough enough being one of the underprivileged.


Oh, no. Actually, I'm one of the overprivileged.


You see, my ancestors used to own white people.


For sure.


Like, like, I knew right off


That you weren't here for the job


'Cause you're totally too old.


Old?


Oh, but you're so tubular!


Tubular?


Yeah, like, I love your dress.


It's, like, so totally kmart.


You know, I wish my grandmother would buy clothes like that.


Your grandmother?


For sure, she'd have to buy a lot smaller size.


She can't seem to put on any weight.


Oh, how I would love to put some weight on you.


Oh, hmm.


Well, you know,


I wasn't gonna tell you this when you sat down,


But I like you.


[ Both laugh ]


That man in there is hard of hearing.


[ Gasps ]


Total bummer!


Like, nobody ever told me.


Well, don't let anybody know that I told you either,


But when you go in there, you yell real loud.


Now, he's real sensitive about this,


So you got to yell real loud,


No matter what he does -- loud.


Oh, for sure.


For sure. Yeah.


We're ready for the interview now.


Who's first?


I am!


Hi!


How are you, sir?!


My name's missy!


And I am totally looking forward to your job!


This one's not gonna be so easy.


[ Clears throat ]


Hi.


It is nice weather we having today, ain't it?


Save your breath, sister.


I've been through the wars.


You're not getting rid of me.


Well, who would want to get rid of a sweet thing like you?


Oh, listen, sweetie. I have this thing sewn up.


Why don't you do yourself a favor and forget the interview?


I, uh, I think you're out of your league.


Oh, the job --


Oh -- no, I'm not here for the job.


I'm here with my friend. No, honey, I can't work.


Mnh-mnh. Doctor's orders.


What have you got?


Wait a minute. He told me. Let me see.


Uh, it was, uh...bionic plague.


No, no, no, it was buick plague.


No -- biblical -- it was biblical.


Bubonic plague?


That's the one. That's the one.


Oh, baby, I think you're drinking out of my cup.


I am?!


Ah-choo! Let me wipe it off for you.


Ohh!


Ah-choo!


Ah-choo!


Oh, boy, I hope it's not kicking up again.


Ah-choo!


[ Coughs ]


Ah-choo!


Ah-choo!


[ Coughs ]


I just want to go!


[ Coughing ]


[ Giggles ]


Well, it's been, like, real awesome meeting you!


Do you want my résumé?!


Mail it to us!


Hey. Thanks for the tip.


For sure.


Who's next?!


Who's next?


Not me. Us bunnies only pose for centerfolds.


So what do you think, huh?


Which one?


Now, if we lose, it comes out of your diaper.


What happened? Did you get it?


Hey, hey, hey!



Hey! Give her a chance to talk.


Did you get the job?


Well, what can I tell you?


She got the job!


That's amazing!


Did you hear that, david? We're all set.


You're looking at a real, live working mother.


I knew you could do it. Oh, so did i.


When do you start?


Tomorrow morning I report to the secretarial pool.


Wow, they've got a pool and everything.


It's time to start looking for an apartment.


You know, I'm gonna miss this kid.


You know, nell, we ought to have a baby around the house.


Not tonight, chief.


I got a headache.