05x04 - Blondas Have More Fun!/Five Days of F.L.A.R.G.

[bunniefuu]

♪ Timmy is an average kid

♪ That no one understands

♪ Mom and dad and vicky always giving him commands ♪

Bed, twerp!

♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪

♪ Is broken instantly

♪ By his magic little fish who grant his every wish ♪

♪ Because in reality

♪ They are his oddparents

♪ Fairly oddparents

Wands and wings!

Floaty, crowny things!

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ Really mod, pea pod, buff bod, hot rod ♪

♪ Obtuse rubber goose ♪

♪ Green moose, guava juice ♪

♪ Giant snake, birthday cake ♪

♪ Large fries, chocolate shake! ♪

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪

♪ With fairly oddparents!

Vicky: yeah, right.

[Bird chirping]

Don't you just love extreme wishes?

They're totally extreme!

Yeah, go on, timmy!

To the extreme!

You can totally do it!

Extremely!

Yah!

Aah! Aah!

Ooh, so close.

Oh, well.

At least I know I can't get blamed for this.

Wanda! I blame you!

You are the smart one! Put down your foot!

Like your famous identical

Yet somehow hotter sister blonda,

Who plays the stern, lovable nurse blonda

On my favorite soap opera, "all my biceps,"

Which is on right now!

You have a sister who's identical,

Yet somehow hotter?

Wanda: yeah.

I became the hard-working,

Everyday fairy godparent,

And she chose the easy life

And went to fairywood.

Oh, she was so dramatic as a child!

She always knew just what to say.

I don't know what to say. What the heck is my line?

"After years, I'm finally going to kiss you,

Dr. Poof everwish."

And let's make it a long kiss!

Huh? Finally!

Seasons of romantic tension released in one extreme kiss!

Yes! Yes!

Yes!

Tv announcer: will nurse blonda kiss dr. Poof?

Find out tomorrow on the next episode of "all my biceps."

Tomorrow? No!

No!

[Beep]

And cut!

"I'm finally going to kiss you?"

People have waited years for this,

And that's the best you idiots can do?

[All shriek]

How am I ever gonna win the zappy award?

Blonda, baby,

It's a stupid little statue!

I should know. I've got of them.

[Banging]

Ah, darn it!

I broke my zappy hanging this sign.

Can somebody loan me theirs?

[Together] here you go.

Am I the only person in fairywood

That's never won a zappy?

Woman: blonda,

It seems that you're the only fairy in fairywood

Without a zappy.

Is it maybe time to quit

And say good-bye to fairywood?

No.

But sometimes I do wish I'd caved in

And chose the easy life

And settled down with a moron

And had a fairy godchild

Like my wimpy sister wanda.

But I had bigger dreams.

And by bigger, I mean I had dreams.

I have the easy life?

That's it! We're going to fairywood!

That's where blonda lives!

Blonda's dressing room!

How come we haven't visited wanda's sister before this?

I'm trying to remember.

[Indistinct chatter]

Blonda, what about the rumors

About you and billy crystalball?

How do you feel about being

On mr. Zapwell's worst-dressed list?

Whew!

[Gasp]

You couldn't last a day in the real world!

I've got it tougher!

The pressure, the limelight,

The lukewarm hot-tub water!

Mom always liked you best!

Wait, I remember now. They hate each other!

Hey, wanna go back and extreme bear wrestle?

You betcha!

I know how to settle this.

Samurai swords to the death!

No.

I was thinking we switch places

And see who has the tougher life.

[Together] and nobody will know but us!

Yeah, you're the smart one!

Sucker! Ha ha ha!

Hey, wanda! Did you have a nice time?

Oh, ha ha!

Yeah, I sure did.

Uh...

[Squawking]

Uh...

Timmy and cosmo.

Timmy. Cosmo.

Hey, has your voice changed?

Of course it has!

She yelled at her no-talent, somewhat-hotter,

Can't-win-the-zappy sister so much,

She hurt her voice!

Heh.

And since I am wanda and clearly not blonda,

I have to wonder,

What would wanda usually say in this scene?

I mean, uh, moment in time?

Ha ha.

Uh, something like,

"Hey, timmy, what do you want to wish for?"

Extreme asteroid dodging!

Awesome!

I don't usually do my own stunts.

Isn't this wish a little-- unh!

Now, this is the easy life.

Buck naked in a hot tub with chocolates

And no extreme wishes.

Smile pretty, blonda!

Aah!

Can't a star get some privacy

And alone time?

Blonda cries out for privacy tonight,

Only on f.t.!

Does she seem less hot to you?

Aah!

Ok, now, this is the scene

Fairyworld's been waiting years for:

The day nurse blonda-- that's you--

Kisses dr. Poof everwish!

That's him.

Kiss me, nurse blonda!

I can't kiss you! I don't love you!

What?

What?!

I'm fairy hart.

Ratings plummet as nurse blonda

Refuses to kiss dr. Poof everwish.

And I'm bob glimmer.

Has fairywood's most zappyless actress lost her mind?

And will her job be next?

Zappy fight!

No more "all my biceps"?

It cannot be!

There's only one thing to do--

Hit you and blame wanda again!

Uh, I'm pretty sure, about now,

My character would say something like...

Terry, this stunt looks too dangerous!

Oh, stop! Please! Stop!

Or a few words to that effect.

Ha ha ha!

Relax!

Cosmo's an extreme net in australia,

And he's gonna catch me! Really?

Check this out! I'm gonna catch timmy!

It's been so nice knowing you.

Wanda!

You must stop the madness!

Got a cosmo net waiting in australia?

Good. Now, where was i?

Oh, yes.

You bumbling idiot, you must--

That's enough! I'm putting my foot down!

Now, back off, jarhead!

Oh, hey, calm down, huh?

There is no need to point

A loaded child at me.

You calm down!

I busted my liposuction butt

Keeping bucky deathwish here happy,

And what do I get? Uh...

An over-pumped musclehead yelling at me all day!

Wow! I never knew how really tough wanda has it.

But this isn't about you!

It's about your getting-less-hot- by-the-second sister

Blonda!

She won't kiss dr. Poof everwish,

And they are going to cancel "all my biceps"!

Uh, guys...

I'll save the show!

But you have to promise to stop blaming wanda for everything.

I don't know why we are talking in the third person,

But ok.

Jorgen will stop yelling at wanda.

And you promise to stop the extreme wishing,

Or you'll be kissing jorgen at mach !

Yes!

Timmy promises to stop his extreme wishing!

Extreme!

There's a baby in there?

Uhh!

Ooh, so close.

Tell me, nurse blonda,

Why won't you kiss me?

Blonda: because that's not nurse blonda!

It's not?

[All gasp]

[Gasp]

Ah!

It's my, uh, evil twin wanda!

Who I've learned recently is not so evil

And has had a very difficult,

Non-glamorous, fan-free life.

That's not in the script!

But it's good.

An evil twin?

What a crazy yet convenient plot twist!

I'm hooked now, more than ever!

And I've also realized

How talented my sister is

And how annoying the poofarazzi can be!

Blonda finds us annoying!

But which of us is the more annoying?

Find out tonight on f.t.!

But I say she is.

No, you!

No, you! No, you!

No, you!

No! You!

[Together] zappy fight!

Samurai swords to the death!

[Together] yah!

And the zappy goes to...

[Together] blonda!

[Applause]

Yay! [Whistling]

Oh, I just want to say that I couldn't have won this

Without the help of my dowdy sister rhonda--

Uh, wanda.

Excusez-moi.

[Mwah]

Hey, you helped blonda win the zappy!

And she got jorgen to stop blaming me

And timmy to stop making extreme wishes!

And best of all, I'm friends with my sister again!

Yep, your totally hot sister!

What? I chose you, didn't i?

Of course, it was dark.

Wait. Wait. Oops. There was a smudge!

Apparently the zappy was actually won by wanda!

But seriously, you are the more annoying.

I can't believe my frump of a sister beat me!

Who are you calling a frump,

You spoiled, pampered, poodle of a zappyless fairy?

Zappy fight!

Oh, that's right. You don't have one!

Ahh, everything's back to normal.

You know what that means.

Extreme!

Such a cute baby!

Uhh!

Ooh, so close.

Do you have any peroxide in there?

[Bell ringing]

[Growling]

Dah!

Oof!

Yay! Yay!

[Together] ugh!

Aw, kickball!

It's elementary school's favorite pastime!

Just like beating up elmer!

Yay, I'm popular!

Everyone loves kickball,

Even mark chang!

Grr!

A.k.a. Ultra-disguised yugopotamia prince

Hiding from his crazy alien fiancee!

Die!

I mean, batter up!

Boy, what better way to celebrate

Getting my braces off

Than with a rousing game of kickball!

Aah!

I sense a disturbance...

In my wallet!

You're out of the game!

Grr!

Wow, mark seems a little upset.

What makes you say that?

Oof!

My card!

You know, you're the only friend he has on this planet.

You should find out what's bothering him.

Forget it!

Besides, he'll never open up to me!

Mark: boy, am I totally opening up to you!

Due to my self-imposed exile,

I am missing the most loved of all yugopotamian holidays--

The days of flarg!

Oh!oh, flarg, right!

What's flarg?

Ugh!

Well, tabby,

It's another hideous day

For the flarg parade.

You said it, pultran.

It's just too bad

That prince mark will miss

This celebration

Of the greatest days in the universe.

Shyeah!

Let us toast our manure glasses

In celebration of flarg!

[Fanfare]

[Together] cheers!

Oh! Aah!

They're toasting manure without me!

Dude, why don't you just go home

For the holidays?

Pultran: there's mark chang's hideous wife-to-be

Princess man-die,

Who's eagerly awaiting his return.

[Grunting]

I know you're out there, mark chang.

I'm waiting for you.

Violently!

[Grunting]

Mark: shyeah!

Grr...aah!

Wait a second!

That doesn't even look like yugopotamia!

Shyeah, because we never flarg it up on our home planet!

Duh. We go to another planet!

Oh, hey, earth is another planet.

Why don't you flarg it up here?

Oh!

Because the wonderful flarg

To a yugopotamian means misery to me.

Flarg is not just a holiday for yugopotamians.

It is a medical condition!

If my body does not sense

The elation of an authentic flarg celebration,

My ap-pendix will burst!

Yeah, well, there's a hospital a mile down the road.

Gotta go. Bye!

And, although I do not know

The function of your human ap-pendix,

Mine is a planet-destroying device

That could destroy the planet.

Let the flarg begin!

Ah, ha ha!

Thank you, timmy turner!

Ugh, I wish mark had everything

He needs to have an authentic flarg!

[Fanfare]

Now, each letter in flarg stands

For a different form of celebration,

And today's letter is "f."

Ooh, what's the "f" stand for?

[Fart]

[Squawk]

Well, see you tomorrow!

[Beeping]

[Ding]

Jeez, if that's what the "f" stood for,

I'm terrified about what the "l" stands for.

This is the love orb.

When in someone's possession,

It makes them irresistible

To the person of their choice.

Sweet!

I love the second day of flarg!

Hiya, trixie!

Ptew!

Don't you wanna kiss me?

Aren't I irresistible?

[Mwah mwah]

Security!

[Grunting]

Aah!

Hey! What gives?

You lied! Yeah!

And that's what the "l" stands for!

You lie all day long!

Ha ha ha! It's fun!

[Together] give me an "a!"

Timmy: awesome!

Chip skylark!

Log flumes!

Ice cream!

This is gonna be a blast!

Ha ha! You mean it was a blast,

Because the "a" day in flarg stands for amnesia!

This party happened earlier today,

And you can't remember a thing!

Party? What party?

Ha ha! See? It worked!

Here, timmy.

Maybe this will help you remember.

The greatest party ever, and I can't remember it?

Who the heck is carly?

Ah, this stinks!

I know!

And without your kindness

And your floaty friends

With their power sticks,

I would be nothing

But a glob of homesick sadness.

Well, I have had enough of flarg,

And I wish--

Yep, a glob of ap-pendix-based,

Radioactive, exploding homesick sadness

That would turn dimmsdale into a parking lot.

Well, it's only two more days.

What's the worst that could happen?

Mark: happy ranksgiving, turner!

Behold!

A most rank repast!

Uh, dude, this stuff is delicious, not rank.

It's rank to me, but it does not matter.

You don't eat it!

I eat it, get sick,

And blow large intergalactic chunks of stuff

On my gracious host.

Ha ha ha!

That's you.

[Gurgling] aah!

I'm outta here.

Hi. I'm timmy.

Timmy?

Carly?

[Panting]

Whew!

Mark: blah!

That's the th bath tonight,

And he still smells like--ugh!--Alien barf.

Ooh! I've got some steel wool in the garage.

Let's get it!

Cosmo: aah!

So much clogging!

I cannot take any more baths,

And I can't take any more flarg!

Oh, but you've made mark so happy!

And besides, if he doesn't celebrate it,

Kaboom goes his ap-pendix!

Uh, I'm pretty sure it's "ap-pen-dix."

Well, tomorrow is the last day.

I guess I can pretend to have a good time,

Even though I'm not,

So mark won't destroy the world.

It is "ap-pen-dix," you know.

Hey, mark!

Happy "g" day of flarg!

So, what's the "g" stand for?

Gravy? Grossness?

Good-bye, timmy turner.

That is what the "g" stands for in flarg.

Awesome! Flarg is finished?

You got that right!

And it is customary to go out with a bang!

Now, let's destroy planet earth!

[Beeping]

Computer: earth to be destroyed in t-minus seconds.

What?!

Yeah, 'cause, like, on the last day of flarg,

You say good-bye to the planet you've been celebrating on!

Why do you think we never hold flarg on yugopotamia?

Shyeah!

Could you excuse me for a sec?

Um, how should I say this?

I wish the m*ssile was gone!

You got it!

[Plbb]

Uh, is it the first day of flarg again?

Oh, no! You wished we help mark celebrate an authentic flarg.

We can't interfere!

And not that we're scared or anything,

But we've decided to watch the celebration

From the safety of fairyworld.

To the escape pod!

I regret nothing!

Wow, fairyworld has really gone downhill.

This place is a dump.

Mark, you've gotta stop.

You can't destroy the earth!

Oh, yes, I can.

It is right here in the flarg manual:

"How to celebrate the final day of flarg."

Do destroy

The host planet.

Don't destroy

The home planet.

Uh...unh...aah!

What's with the face?

It is happy,

Yet at the same time disturbing.

Because you can't destroy the earth,

Because it is your home planet now.

And that would be, like, wrong.

Computer: earth to get seriously flarged in ...

... ...

You live at the dimmsdale dump. You go to earth school.

You've turned kickball into a contact sport!

Hmm.

Let me ponder this for a brief moment.

Computer: ...

...

...

Can you make it briefer?

Dude, you're right. This is my home!

But if my m*ssile doesn't destroy the world,

My ap-pendix will!

Then find another world-- any world!

[Beeping]

Ha ha! Thank you, timmy turner,

For helping me celebrate the best flarg ever!

Now, my ap-pendix is cool

And no longer a defcon threat to your world.

Thank you for not destroying my--our world.

Your hug! It burns!

Hey! What world did you destroy, anyway?

Which one of you is responsible for this mess?

Uh, uh... Binky did it!

To the escape pod!ooh!

I regret nothing!

Oh, flarg!