05x02 - Just Desserts!/You Doo!

[bunniefuu]

♪ Timmy is an average kid

♪ That no one understands ♪

♪ Mom and dad and vicky always giving him commands ♪

Bed, twerp!

♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪

♪ Is broken instantly

♪ By his magic little fish who grant his every wish ♪

♪ Because in reality

♪ They are his odd parents

♪ Fairly odd parents

Wands and wings!

Floaty, crowny things!

♪ Odd parents, fairly odd parents ♪

♪ Really mod, pea pod, buff bod, hot rod ♪

♪ Obtuse rubber goose ♪

♪ Green moose, guava juice ♪

♪ Giant snake, birthday cake ♪

♪ Large fries, chocolate shake! ♪

♪ Odd parents, fairly odd parents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪

♪ With fairly odd parents!

Vicky: yeah, right.



[Bell rings]

You've heard of penalty kicks?

I call this a pain-alty kick.

Whoa!

Ugh!

At least he only hit me with his foot.

[Organ plays "charge"]

Aah!

Aah!

If only his grades were this high.

Timmy: aah!

According to my records,

That's only your nd beating this year.

I'll never break last year's record.

Uhh...

I'll be back after lunch

For more beatings to make it an even...

Uh...

What's plus ?

?

, It is.

Aah!

It's good!

Give me a double wandectomy, stat.

[Whirring]

Clear.

Aah!

More beatings?

I got to do something to stop francis

From wailing on the last unscarred % of my body.

Too bad you don't have a francis you-doo doll.

A what do who?

A you-doo doll.

It's a previously secret doll

That we never tell kids about.

[Whistles]

But if you must know,

It's a magical doll of a person,

And whatever you do to the doll

Happens to the real person it looks like.

Take this timmy you-doo doll, for example.

Whatever I do to it happens to you.

[Squeak]

Ptoo! Ow! Ow! Ugh!

There goes his last %.

And that's not even the best part. Watch.

I wish I had pudding.

I wish I had pudding.

[Ding]

Oh, my gosh. This is gonna be great.

Oh, but, timmy, magical you-doo dolls

Are very dangerous.

That's why we fairies don't use them anymore.

[Whistles]

Hmm, interesting point.

Nope. Don't care.

I wish I had a francis you-doo doll.

[Ding]

[Ding]

Revenge is sweet.

Not as sweet as that pudding.

Give cosmo the pudding.

[Crash]

Yaah!

[Crash]

What's up, mr. "Francis, please k*ll me"?

If you're still alive tomorrow,

Don't miss the launch of my rocket for science class.

Your rocket?

But I did all the work on it.

Fine. Our rocket.

My rocket.

Sorry, fellas,

But I'll be busy beating up francis

For the next few days.

I don't know what those signs say,

But you're dead, turner.

I'm not afraid of you, francis.

In fact, I can take you with my hands behind my back.

Uh!

It's time for your daily dose of vitamin fist.

Uh!

Huh?

[Punches]

Waah!

Uh! Huh?

Uh! Huh? Uh!

Hey, did timmy forget that he can make francis talk, too?

I'm an ugly moron who likes butterflies and playing dress-up.

Ah, I hope he wishes for pudding.

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Huh?

Uh! Waah!

Timmy, you did it. You're my hero.

Our hero.

Really my hero.

[Cheering]

I'm not feeding them.

[Cheering]

Come on, guys. Give it a rest.

I got to get dressed for school.

Aww. Aww. Aww.

Mom: I'm not making them breakfast.

Oh, man!

I can't wait to do more you doo today.

I imagine francis is enjoying breakfast right about now.

I hate cleaning the litter box.

Uh!

Waah!

There's nothing deodorizing about these crystals.

Ha ha ha!

Timmy, I warned you that you-doo dolls can be dangerous.

Not a lot of people can handle having that kind of power

Without abusing it.

Yeah. Maybe you're right.

Eh, but what the heck do I know?

In fact, wish up a whole boxful of you-doo dolls,

And let's wish up more pudding for cosmo and dance.

I'm a nag. Let's do the nag dance.

♪ You nag it to the left, you nag it to the right ♪

♪ I always nag my husband all day and night ♪

Yay! She's finally listening to me.

Wanda: hey! Two can play at that game.

And two can play at that game.

Hey!

You-doo fight! You-doo fight!

Oh! Aah! Take this!

Guys? Guys! Stop!

You know, this only proves my point.

You-doo dolls are dangerous.

Which is why I'll be taking these to school with me,

And don't worry.

I'll only use the you-doo dolls in case of an emergency.

Timmy? Come back!

Do you mind?

Your disembodied head is nag, nag, nagging

Right by my severed ear.

[Bell rings]

Crocker: all right, children.

Pick up your pencils.

That's emergency enough for me.

On second thought, no pencils!

Now excuse me while I hit myself on the head

While changing all of turner's fs to as.

Ow! "A!" Ow! "A!" Ow! "A!"

No place to sit? Time to do some you doo.

Ha ha! How many pink-hatted, buck-toothed losers

Does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Aah! Aah! Aah!

This seat taken?

[Scoffs]

Later.

Aah!

I think I'll sit next to my favorite

Pink-hatted, buck-toothed loser.

You took the words right out of my mouth.

♪ Ta-da

This isn't right.

Yeah. Look how big my butt is.

Hey! That's my butt...

Which means this is your arm.

Ouch! No fair.

You started it.

You never should've made that first timmy you-doo doll.

I wonder what I did with that timmy doll, anyway.

Ha ha ha!

Francis, give me back my bonnie doll!

Ha ha ha!

Oh, my gosh.

Are my timmy-based dreams coming true?

They are! They are coming true!

An orthodontically correct timmy doll.

Thank you!

Now to play my favorite game.

Oh, timmy,

Now that we've finally spent some quality time together,

I've realized how funny and cool you are.

Trixie, there's something I always wanted to say to you.

I love tootie.

She's smart, she's funny,

And she is so much prettier than anyone, especially...

That icky, yucky trixie.

Why did I say that? I don't mean it.

Oh, no. My you-doo doll. Tootie must've found it.

Well, better her than...

Tootie: francis!

Give me my timmy doll back!

You want it? Go get it.

Aah!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Kid fight!

[All screaming]

I got to find that you-doo doll.

Where are cosmo and wanda?

Ok. Everything is back to normal.

Not quite.

There's something wrong with your head...

As usual.

Aah! Girl hair!

Neat. I'm a pink-haired elvis.

There it is!

Whoa!

Thank goodness I majored in french philosophy.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Huh? Uh!

Agh! Uh!

Oh, my aching everything.

Where is my doll?

I've made my contribution.

What are you guys doing?

Well, I'm about to launch my--

Our rocket.

Whatever you say.

And check out this cool astronaut.

Yeah. High marks for the "death to turner" motif.

Let's light this candle!

Commencing world's slowest rocket launch.

[Straining]

[Cheering]

That figures.

Yaaaaaaah!

Gotcha.

Just one chance!

His rocket!

I'll get the fs.

Made it safe and--

Oh, no!

Thank goodness I put all my money in internet stocks.

Where are cosmo and wanda when I need them?

Oh, wait. They're in my backpack.

Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.

Yow!

Waah!

Aah! Geeh!

Geeh!

Yaah!

Timmy is in trouble.

Let's get to the roof of the school right now.

How do we go to the bathroom?

Quick!

Pull yourselves together. I need to make a wish.

Neat!

Close enough.

I wish all the you-doo dolls were gone!

Hey, that's my wand.

Aaaaaah!

Ahh. Another close call.

Boy, did I learn a big lesson.

It's not right to control other people?

Nope. Boys shouldn't play with dolls.

From now on, I stick to action figures,

Which are totally different.

And I learned to love this hair. It looks good on me.

You think so, huh?

Look who's talking, baldy.

[Ding]

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Cosmo's brain has finally left the building.

Like it ever entered.

Let's do the nag.

♪ You nag it to the left

♪ You nag it to the right ♪

♪ Come on, everybody, do the nag tonight ♪

I'm a living doll.

Both: spinach neutralized, timmy.

Awesome!

And now that I hid-- I mean, ate all my spinach,

I can finally have dessert.

Hey, what gives? Where's dessert?

This is dessert. It's carrot cake.

Without the cake.

It's spring cleaning for our colons.

We're going to do this every day.

In that case...

A.j.: Ok.

Now that my dad has finished our meals, it's time for dessert.

Yay! Dessert!

A math book? It's tuesday.

On tuesday, we multiply fractions for dessert.

Nothing is sweeter than knowledge.

[All laughing]

Mark: turner! Ok!

You have finally accepted my invitation

To share in your earthly nightly face-filling ritual.

And since you're yugopotamian

And everything you do is backwards,

You probably serve dessert first.

That is correct.

Enjoy.

A broccoli- and-brussels-sprout sundae.

Is it not broccoli- and-brussels-sprout-a-rific?

No, it's not.

I want sugar, chocolate,

Stuff that'll make my teeth rot on contact.

Dude, that stuff will k*ll me.

Besides, on yugopotamia,

This is desserty, tooth-rotting goodness.

Want some?

Ugh.

I want dessert, and I want it all the time.

No carrots, no broccoli,

No math books.

[Coughs]

Yeah. I'm knowledge intolerant.

But, timmy, eating healthy

Is what gives us the energy and brain power to function properly.

Really?

So I'm sure-- chocolate--

The last thing you--chocolate--

Want from me is to wish there was nothing

But desserts and chocolate--

Chocolate. Did you say "chocolate"?

Make the wish. Make the wish!

I'm not usually the skeptical one,

And I don't even know what "skeptical" means,

But when wanda eats a lot of sugar, she tends to--

[Muffled]

What cosmo doesn't know is,

Nobody gives a hoot about his opinion.

Ha ha ha! I'm running. I'm running.

Look at me. Look at me run. Look at me go.

Ha ha ha!

Dessert wish-- make it happen.

I wish for no more breakfast, lunch, or dinner--

Just dessert.

Cosmo: ha ha ha!

Mom: morning, timmy. Time for dessert.

I made your favorite--

Scrambled cake with strips of chocolate

And a hearty bowl of frosting.

Life is sweet,

And so is breakfast.

Both: lunch and dinner.

[Belch]

Here's your lunch-- a sandwich.

Yeah--an ice-cream sandwich.

This is awesome.

[Roars]

I agree.

Not for long.

Cosmo: um, timmy, I'm not usually one to complain--

That's wanda--

But when she eats a lot of sugar, she gets--

The only thing I get when I eat sugar all day

Is a teeny, weeny...

Aah! Oh, no!

Sugar rush! Run, timmy.

There's nothing healthy in her stomach to absorb the sweets.

Run!

Neat.

I'm getting one, too.

Run!

Wow. Nobody is listening to me. I feel like wanda.

Oh, well, you know the old saying--

"When in rome, let them eat cake."

Ahh.

[Alarm bell ringing]

Whee!

I'm chet ubetcha with the "morning news" hour.

All over dimmsdale, people are buzzing around with bursts of energy.

The sugar-rush-hour traffic is moving at the speed of light.

World records are set in all sports,

And last night, I wrote operas while grouting my bathroom.

That's the news.

Man: um, you've still got minutes left.

And now I'm off to run a marathon.

Ok.

Let's get started with a test none of you are prepared for.

"F," "f," "f," "f," "f," "f," "f," "f," "f,"

"A" for a.j., "F,"

And now I think I'll run a marathon,

But first, fairy godparents! Fairy godparents! Fairy godparents!

Wow!

A whole day of school in just minutes.

How sweet is this dessert wish?

Again, I'm not one to inject logic into a situation,

Whatever a situation is,

But eventually, all this extra sugar energy will wear off.

And then what?uh, I don't know.

It has something to do with weight.

Is it, eat too many sweets, and you get real heavy?

No. That's not it.

Are you sure?

Dad: oh, timmy.

You're suffocating me.

You're gonna miss the bus.

Now you roll down those stairs

Right now, young man, before you're late.

What? No! Wait!

Aah!

Ow! Oh! Ow! Yow!

Um, shouldn't we go along with timmy

In case he needs something?

Oh, ok.

Nngh!

Ugh!

You know, if he needs us, he can come get us.

I like the way you think.

Have you been eating books for dessert?

Well, at least now we live in a world

Where nobody makes fun of you for being fat anymore.

Francis: hey, everybody, it's the fit kid.

Let's stuff him in a locker because he'll fit.

Uhh!

Uh...uh...

[Panting]

Ugh!

Nonpuny humans!

I'm out of here.

Well, at least francis doesn't have the energy to bully anyone anymore.

This turned out to be a pretty good wish after all.

[Bell rings]

Ugh. Uhh.

So a planet's orbit is relative

To its size and distance from the sun.

Only a significant shift in weight in one area of the planet--

Oh, say the size of dimmsdale--

Could unbalance it and send it wobbling into the sun.

Now if you'll open your desks,

You'll find more dessert!

Yay! Yay! Yay!

Toby, do these pants make my butt look big?

Aah!

We are hurtling toward the sun

For a molten date with death.

Roll! Roll for your lives!

Run! Run!

I've got to get cosmo and wanda

And wish everything back to normal.

Now just up the stairs, and--

Ugh!

Oh, man, I'm so unhealthy,

I don't have the energy to climb stairs.

So I'll just have to bring them downstairs.

Aah! Ohh!

I wish everyone was back to normal

And that the earth wasn't gonna crash into the sun.

Whew. I'm a little winded, sport.

Can you handle it on your own?

Oh, I'll do it. Hang on.

Uh, my wand is here somewhere.

Not my wand. Not my wand.

Hey, there's that dog I was looking for.

Oh, I can use my wand.

Oh, if only I had enough energy to wave my arm.

Oh, man, you were right.

You do need healthy foods to have

The energy to do things like lift your arms.

But all the food in the world is dessert.

And nobody eats healthy food for dessert.

Hey, there's that cowboy I was looking for.

Howdy do?

Healthy food for dessert. That's it.

Mark: I don't know, turner.

Why would I give you my last can of spinach cobbler?

'Tis the tastiest of all yugopotamian desserts.

So you're saying you won't help me save my doomed planet?

Uh, yeah.

Aah! Stop!

For even under earth's lighter gravity,

You are crushing my gelatinous form.

Thanks.

Can I get a lift to my house?

Are you mad? I cannot lift you.

I meant with your ship.

Oh. Mm'k.

Timmy: aah!

Got any s?

What in tarnation?

This might taste bad,

But it's supposed to be good for you.

[Alarm bell rings]

At long last, my dream pool is finished.

My dream pool--ruined!

Forgive me, dimmsdale pool and spa emporium!

Quick, before I run out of energy.

I wish everything was back to normal!

Timmy: lesson learned--

Dessert is great on occasion,

But balanced diets are what keeps us all healthy

And not hurtling into the sun.

Yeah, but these rolls are so convenient,

I just couldn't get rid of them.

Wanda: cosmo, get me out of here.

Not wanda.

Not wanda. Not wanda.

Hey, there's the cowboy hunting that other cowboy.

I'm looking for the varmint called billy the goat.

Aah!

Ooh! Aah! Hey! Watch those spurs!

Aah! Pointy!