Oh, there you are. Jim, she's in here!
Oh, Cheryl!
Thank God.
When I got home from work and you weren't in the kitchen,
I just feared the worst.
What, that you'd have to make your own dinner?
Yes, and the only thing I could find was a bowl of really bad Alfredo sauce.
Jim, that was paste!
You might want to double up on the bran muffin tomorrow.
Yeah, it's for the mascot.
Oh, right, right. Spirit week. Spirit week.
I'm supposed to, um...
Take the bear down to the girls' school on Saturday.
Yes, yes, yes. Got it on my list right here.
Daddy, want to see a cheer?
I'd love to see your cheer.
BOTH: What do you say to a Grizzly you meet?
You get down on your knees, don't beg on your feet.
Go, Grizzlies!
That's really good, girls. Very nice.
We're not done.
BOTH: And shake it, and shake it,
and shake it but don't break it!
Everybody, shake that thing!
Who the hell taught you that?
Aunt Dana.
Dana, what are you doing?
Oh, come on. At least when they shake theirs, it's on purpose.
Explain to me what that means!
You know what it means!
Okay, so, Jim, on Saturday
you're taking the mascot down to the girls' school.
Is your truck gonna be out of the shop?
Oh, I don't know.
The mechanic said the part still hasn't come in.
What part?
Cheryl, if I told you the name of it, would you know it?
Jim! What?
This is ridiculous. It's been in there a week.
I'm gonna call the guy and tell him we really need it by Friday.
No, no, no, no, no, no. You can't do that.
What? That's not your department!
Oh! Come on, you take care of the kids,
the bills, the house, the social calendar, and all the yard work.
I'm in charge of the car stuff.
And turning the clocks backward and forward as needed.
You make her do the yard?
We have seven clocks!
Jeez. When do you find time to scratch yourself?
(INAUDIBLE)
JIM: [span tts:fontStyle="italic"] Oh, baby![/span]
Oh, Jason, thank you so much.
You guys are so sweet.
You are! I really feel like we should tip you.
Oh, no.
No, we couldn't.
Just, uh, keep coming back.
Please.
Thanks, guys. Bye.
Isn't it great being pretty?
I know!
The only time I have to carry my own groceries
is when I'm with Jim.
Hey, minimum wage, a little help here?
Yeah, right, good idea.
Save your energy for popping zits!
Andy, one, pimply virgins, zip.
Yeah.
Hey!
Isn't that Jim's truck?
Huh?
Yeah.
Uh, no, don't think so.
Yeah. Jim has that same Sammy Sosa bobblehead.
Well, it's Chicago, Cheryl. Everybody does.
No!
Okay, how about the license plate frame
that says, "Contractors do it with a tool"?
It's definitely Jim's truck.
Oh, this truck!
Yeah! Yeah, yeah, this is Jim's truck.
Yeah.
You know what happened. What?
Well, it's obvious that he picked up the truck,
decided to run some errands
so he could make your life easier.
Make Cheryl's life easier? Jim?
Damn, too far!
Andy. Uh-huh?
What's going on?
Nothing.
Hey, Cheryl, did you watch the news last night?
There's a twister coming.
Uh, no, there isn't.
Yes, there is. Oh, yes, there is.
No, there isn't. No! Ow! No, no! Ow!
Okay! Okay!
(WHEEZING) Ow!
Last Saturday, Jim and I were at Antlers for Nickel Wing Night.
You know why I love this place?
Hmm?
When you're done with your wings,
you can throw your bones on the floor.
You know, only you do that.
Really?
That explains the looks.
Now look at that poor sucker over there.
He's been losing to people all night.
All right, who's next?
Hey, how about you, pal?
Why don't you call it a night, okay?
Come on, let's go. You and me, huh?
(CHUCKLING) No.
Hey, everybody, Fred Flintstone over here
is scared to arm-wrestle me.
You know what?
I'm gonna ignore what you just said because you're drunk,
and because of my vague resemblance to Fred Flintstone.
I got bucks says I beat you.
It's a bet!
What? What are you doing? What are you talking about?
I'm seizing the day.
That's how I live, Jim.
By sucking the marrow out of every moment.
Come here, sweetheart.
Oh, Andyman, do you know how long I've been waiting for you to do that?
Okay, okay, okay.
Can you just stick to telling us the parts that actually happened?
Fine!
Come here, sweetheart.
Drop dead!
So, are you in, or are you out, Fred?
I'll tell you what. If I do it just this once, will you drop it?
You're on.
(CHUCKLES)
(SIGHS)
All right. Go!
(LAUGHING)
All right? Here. Here's your $ back.
Get a cab. Go home.
I don't need a cab. I have a car.
What do you drive, huh?
A truck. Oh, a truck!
(LAUGHS) La-di-da!
Uh-huh.
I'll tell you what. I want a rematch.
My car against your truck.
(LAUGHING) Whoa.
Hey, buddy, please, just go home
and sober up, all right?
Come on, you woman!
Little girl!
(PEOPLE MURMURING) Jim...
Come on, Suzie!
All right, that's it!
Old Suzie here is gonna teach you your manners.
Yeah, courtesy's contagious, butt-face.
Go!
Hey!
(GRUNTS)
Pleasure doing business with you.
Hey, uh, was that courteous enough?
Yes!
That guy wasn't drunk.
That guy just hustled me!
Jim, I do not condone this kind of behavior.
"Cheryl is a good woman, a fine wife and a better sister.
"You really... You really should have checked with her first."
Because that would have been the right thing to do.
Okay, okay, that didn't happen, either,
but I was thinking it.
No, come on. I really was.
Hey! Give me... Ow! Ow!
Come on, guys, don't leave me!
I hope we can keep this between the three of us.
It's gonna get dark in three hours!
No, please, no!
(SOBBING)
Not so tough without your sisters, are you?
Mmm! Mashed potatoes.
Mmm, and ham!
BOTH: (CHANTING) Ham, ham, H-A-M...
Girls, girls, hey, hey. No, no, no.
You already cheered your milk. A little goes a long way.
Mmm, that looks good. And, honey...
Yes, yes, yes, yes!
For you.
Mmm... Mmm!
Everything okay?
Everything's great! Okay!
(CHUCKLING) Yeah...
Mmm.
Gravy?
Oh, I'd love some gravy.
Okay!
Here you go, honey. Oh.
(LAUGHING) That good?
Yeah!
Yeah, mmm.
Delicious!
Oh!
Really? Not too lumpy?
No, no, it's perfect.
Oh, that's great.
Daddy, there's a head in your food!
It's freaking me out!
All right, girls, take your dinner in the dining room
while I finish this mind game with your mother.
(CLEARING THROAT)
Cheryl? Mmm-hmm?
Uh, I need to tell you something.
But first, what do you know?
Hmm, I know that you went to a bar and lost the truck in an arm-wrestling contest.
Okay, you're up to speed.
What, you just figured I'd never find out?
Well, I was gonna tell you that they couldn't fix the truck,
and I was gonna buy a new one with our vacation money.
Well, what about our vacation?
Well, I was gonna tell you that
Hawaii burned down.
Where did you get this?
Your truck.
My truck? Mmm-hmm.
My truck! Yeah.
But what's my truck doing here?
I got it back. What?
Dana and I went down to Antlers.
I can't believe you eat there.
And we talked to that skinny guy who beat you at arm wrestling.
What?
You actually went down there?
Well, somebody had to.
No, no, no, Cheryl. Nobody had to.
You realize what you just did?
You just cut me off at the knees!
Oh, come on.
No, Cheryl, that's like Mommy going to the schoolyard
and fighting the bully for me.
Oh.
You can't do that, Cheryl.
I lost the truck.
It's my truck. It's my business.
No, Jim, it's our business, 'cause it's our truck,
and you lost it in a stupid bar bet.
Cheryl, the guy called me a woman.
(SIGHS) Which obviously you are not. Thank you.
Because it took a woman to get your truck back!
And it's gonna take a man to return it!
What?
Cheryl, there's not much left in this world for men,
except for the Oval Office,
the same job for better pay, and honor!
(STAMMERING) What are you doing?
Cheryl, I'm not keeping this truck,
not the way you got it back.
So you're gonna inconvenience your entire family
because of your stupid pride?
Cheryl.
It's not pride, it's honor.
Oh. And you would know the difference
if you didn't shave your legs!
What does that even mean?
Exactly! Ding, ding, ding!
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I am going to take this truck back
to where you found it,
I'm going to walk home with my head held high,
and my boys back in their bunk.
BOTH: Get your groove on, get your groove on,
for the Grizzly Spirit-thon-thon!
And shake it, and shake it!
Ooh, it's mighty hot!
(IMITATING SIZZLING)
You know, Andy, those fairy tales
where the good king locks up his daughters in the tower?
I get it.
Well, you know what it is, Jim.
Their young, undeveloped brains
are totally influenced by the idiot box.
Yeah.
(BOINGING ON TV)
(BOTH LAUGHING)
It's so funny!
Uh, Jim?
Yeah?
We finished the mascot. You got to get it down to the school.
Okay, Andy, let's put the grizzly bear in the old minivan.
No, no, honey. We already tried that,
but, surprisingly, it's too small.
I guess that's why they call it mini. Hmm.
Gosh, if only you had some kind of vehicle that was like a car,
but with a big, open storage area in the back.
Okay, I know you guys are talking about my truck.
Truck! That's brilliant!
Yeah.
If only we knew someone who had a truck.
Hmm. I know! The arm-wrestling con man!
Yes!
Absolutely not.
I am not going back there to beg for the truck.
A bet is a bet, and I have my honor.
All right, all right, honey. How about this?
How about you take the mascot, shove it in your honor,
and haul it down there?
Cheryl, I'm gonna get that grizzly bear to that school,
because I'm a man, and that's what men do.
They get things done. Right, Andy?
Go, men!
BOTH: And shake it! And shake it!
And shake it, shake it, shake it!
Hey.
Unless I'm scoring a touchdown, hitting a home run,
or I ask you to,
that is not okay!
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on.
We got three miles to go. Shake a leg here.
Why am I the one doing all the work?
'Cause you're the one that ratted me out to your sisters.
Oh, yeah, I know all about it.
Yeah, you had a chance to come clean, and you didn't.
You know what that makes you? A coward!
Oh, a coward, am I? A coward. Yeah.
Oh, well, perhaps I am, but at least I'm still driving my own car,
not some stupid scooter!
Stupid... You're stupid!
I don't even know why I hang out with you!
Been asking myself the same question all day. Know what I came up with?
What?
We're all we got.
You're right, Andy.
Hey, let's not fight anymore. I love you, man!
Oh, me too, man.
Oh, Andy, Andy, you idiot! The bear!
Get on, get on, get on!
Get off, get off, get off, get off!
Jim!
Am I okay on the right?
Well, there's a bear on wheels.
CHERYL: Oh, my God!
(CRASHING) (GIRLS SCREAM)
Oh, my God.
You know, this is your fault.
Hi.
All right, you guys, it's gonna be okay.
How is this going to be okay?
Daddy k*lled our bear.
We told everyone how good it was!
I'm not cheering for a dead bear!
I'll fix it, girls.
I always fix it.
Don't I?
Oh, damn. All right.
Well, I'll just have to build a new bear,
even if I have to stay up all night.
Cheryl, put a pot of coffee on for me.
Jim, I don't think you're looking at the big picture.
Yeah, you're right. Pot of coffee and a cake.
No, Jim! You could build bears!
You still have no way to get them to the school.
I'll rent a truck.
Okay, that's fine for today,
but what about when I have to pick up Ruby at ballet
and you have to get Gracie at soccer?
Cheryl, under no circumstances whatsoever
am I gonna go down there and beg for that truck back.
I know, your honor.
Yes, honor. Honor. Honey, look.
Do you think I like the way the girls just looked at me?
No.
No, I don't.
But without honor, I'm not going to be the man
that I want my daughters to see.
And I'm definitely not going to be the man you married.
Now, baby, I am a man.
I know.
All right.
I don't get it, but I've been married to you long enough
to know you're not going to change,
so you have my full support.
Thank you.
But when I come home from a high-stakes bake-off
and I've lost the kitchen, not a word!
(LAUGHS)
Okay, honey, well, you got your honor.
You got my support. We got no truck! What are you gonna do?
I don't know. I'll think of something.
(SIGHS)
I can't do it while you're watching.
Well, yabba-dabba-doo! Look who's here.
Hey, did you take a cab?
No! He took his wife's minivan.
Andy!
Look, I want my truck back fair and square,
so my friend and I here want to challenge you to a game of pool.
And if we win?
You get my minivan.
Okay. Okay.
See, I know that Suzie here is not much of a shark,
but, uh, this guy...
Sure, you dress him up dorky, but...
He could be a ringer.
Well, I played at Camp Wahonna-Makka,
but we didn't play for cars.
We played for s'mores.
So I'm guessing you're pretty good then.
No. No deal.
What? What are you talking about?
Jim!
Cheryl, what are you doing here?
How did you even know we were here?
We just followed the scent of failure.
Oh.
What are you doing?
Cheryl, I am trying to win the truck back.
I just challenged him to a game of pool,
but he's too much of a woman!
See, I wouldn't be much of a con man if I fell for that.
Oh.
This is your big plan?
Cheryl, this is my plan. This is men's business. Just stay out of it.
Yeah. When you can write your name in the snow,
then you can pop off about anything you want.
Great.
All right, now, you gonna give me a chance
to win this truck back, or not?
Okay, okay, but I get to pick your partner.
Oh, no, no. I'm not gonna fall for that.
You'll just pick one of your buddies.
Okay, fine. You know Wilma and Betty over there.
Either one of them will do.
No, no, no, no, no. That's a bad idea.
Take it or leave it.
Dana, you know how to play pool?
Well, no, but I could probably pick it up pretty...
All right. I'll take Wilma. I mean Cheryl.
My, uh, truck against your minivan, right? Deal.
You bet the minivan?
Cheryl! Cheryl. Cheryl, calm down. No! No! Bet's off.
Cheryl, no...
Cheryl, I just shook on it, okay?
I don't believe this.
It's your break, Wilma.
Come on, baby, you can do it.
(CROWD APPLAUDING)
Don't call me Wilma.
Ah! Yes!
You hustled me.
No, uh, my wife, the woman, hustled you.
Oh!
Told you it was a bad idea.
Oh, snap.
Some kids got ponies on their th birthdays.
Daddy got us a pool table.
I never had to buy my own drinks in college.
Neither did I, and I suck at pool.
Um, honey, where do you want the -ball?
Surprise me.
Okay.
Side pocket, clean bank, going downtown.
Oh, yeah!
Yes!
I win my truck back!
Andy...
Thank you.
Let's get out of here.
All right, everybody, say goodbye to Suzie!
ALL: Bye, Suzie!
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Thanks, Cheryl.
Oh, honey.
You know, if Jim is Fred,
and Cheryl's Wilma,
does that make us Betty and Barney?
I always thought I was Nancy Drew
and you were both of the Hardy Boys.
What do you say we play one more game?
Okay. And if you win,
you get to have sex with me.
Wow! What if you win?
To be honest, honey, I'm gonna throw this game.