01x04 - Still Rocking

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

daddy that's your question daddy's busy

with a very important project here honey

he doesn't finish it on time his boss

gets very angry babies come from well

when a mommy and daddy love each other

very much and there's nothing good on TV

they drink a magical potion that's

brewed in the City of Milwaukee nine

months later your boy the babies come

from Milwaukee yes they do there's a

real father-daughter moment to remember

I was trying to make a sandwich sandwich

could have waited well that's where

you're wrong Judy this ham expires today

what happens when Cena finds out

everything you told her is alive Oh Judy

by then she'll resent me for so many

other things hey Brian hi how was school

horrible well that's why they call it

school hell Brian come back here what's

wrong gym class I suck at basketball

guys pick on me well maybe you could

tell the gym teacher to talk to those

boys yeah and while you're hanging from

the flagpole by a jockstrap look around

so you can find a new school fill our

son needs some advice high schools tough

God it was a blast that was us we were

cool look at him and he tell I'm right

here mom I know I'm just trying to

toughen you up listen Brian if you want

him to stop picking on you have to take

matters into your own hands learn how to

fight no son fake an injury wearing a

knee brace people cuts your / isn't that

dishonest okay you want honest you pale

and you're good at math otherwise known

as a target so where am I supposed to

get any breaks in my closet thanks dad

hey don't run

see what I just did I just solved my

son's problem looks like when it comes

to this parenting thing I rule oh yeah

you what if I told them big giant lies

every time they came to me for advice

honey that's mine get your own thing

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

don't forget to pick up the cake for

your daughter's birthday party this

weekend Lauren 13 I know it's lauren and

she's 13 she's the taller one right why

yes I think we do need our deck sealed

we don't even have my check I've just

been informed that we don't have a deck

perhaps you could seal my daughter's

mouth shut Oh bill you know I have to

hang up my daughter wants to use the

phone do you have kids oh they're so

cute at that age word of advice don't

teach him to talk and find some guy on

the internet to send me a bus to get

supported get me one too aww it's her

birthday party she wants to invite Alex

Borden and she's waiting for him to call

I can't she just call him you don't just

call a boy she has to tell Tiffany to

call Lisa to call Brad to tell Alex to

call Lauren about some homework oh my

god tiffany is totally talking to Brad

again

just stay off the phone why should i

it's my house I'm the boss okay at the

bank's house and you're the boss but she

still can't tell us what to do where you

go talk to her whoa whoa whoa bill you

don't get it her daughter is about to

become a teenager this where I take over

you're done she won't need you again

till it's time to pay for the wedding so

now that she's a teenager I have no role

to play in my daughter's life listen

I've spent a lot of time planning this

party and I want her to have a nice 13th

birthday so just pretend she's like the

exercise bike in the garage and leave

her alone major the phone for the remote

and if i watch the game watch whatever

you want okay so almost 13 huh quite an

age I remember correctly bo was a big

problem that's still going on with the

boys I'm sorry about the phone thing or

earlier it's okay so this Alex hasn't

made any moves heavy like that he likes

you right I don't know my friends say he

does he's always doing weird stuff like

kicking my chair tie my shoelaces

together oh he likes you as the kind of

stuff you do when you like someone I

used to snap your mother's bra don't do

that I still like her honey you're smart

you're beautiful the boys are gonna go

crazy over you really of course just

wish Alex would call I know you do

sweetie and he'd be stupid not to thanks

dad you're welcome pumpkin then boys are

stupid so he might never call you

I'm just saying boys are just sickle at

that age he might be kicking a lot of

girls chairs but that doesn't mean

you're not special to me so you're

saying he likes lots of other girls that

he's never gonna call what did you do I

just got away my total loser I did not

just out of curiosity bill well we were

in the kitchen and I told you to stay

out of it was there like a circus song

playing in your head I was doing great

she said thank you then I just said one

more thing and it all went to hell Oh

can you come up here sure honey you know

why she wants to talk to me don't you

because I rule fine you take care of her

I'll take care of the other kids daddy

where's the scissor top drawer sweetie

next to the knives ah oh let me help you

with that heavy

[Music]

Oh anybody I'm home hey Belle hello

anybody good I'm home oh hi honey gets

to laurens in there on the phone with oh

let me take a s*ab at it does it begin

with an a and end with a Lex yeah alex

you finally called her really wonder how

that could have happened I don't know

Tiffany probably told Lisa to tell Alex

yeah maybe or what did you do having

lunch at the food court today I went

with us up the pizza looked a little dry

and I had chinese yes L belleville why

she's standing over by the burger place

but our little friend Alex bored please

tell me you did not talk to him so I'm

talking to him can I tell him that

Lauren really likes him and he should

call her he's a little hesitant

delivering his order and he's a dollar

short I make up the difference and you

told the boy that our daughter liked him

and then you paid him to call her for

your next trick you might want to try

pulling your head out of your ass what

you're not afraid your daughter will

find out you paid a boy to call her I

didn't pay him i said him still Linda's

right if Lauren finds out about this

she's gonna go crazy how's she gonna

find out I don't know maybe to keep you

tell that could have been a scream of

happiness oh here you got a phone call

you made him call me who's my little

girl yeah with you honey your father

just made a stupid mistake because he's

well stupid but now all blow over no one

will remember it by the time of your

party I don't want a party I can't have

her face my friends too well though I

hope you're happy I told you to stay out

of it for once in your life you couldn't

listen to me sometimes you make me so

angry who's my cue

Lauren home yet not she went to the mall

Oh is I have a surprise for a good idea

get right back on that horse and ride it

off a cliff oh hey sweetie house them

all fine Oh run I know you're mad at me

but to make it up to you I have a

surprise tonight we're gonna pierce your

ear come on give me that love yours are

already Pierce they are huh they are hey

who said you could get your ears pierced

hosted when she was 11 and we did it in

the doctor's office not with a needle

and potato Jethro okay once birthday fri

I'm not having a birthday party or you

could have your party at a blink 182

concert okay we're gonna have to talk

about this screaming thing what are you

i can't believe it i have to call

everybody I've already invited all your

friends including alex you didn't talk

to him did you good going Judy of course

not I told Tiffany to tell Stephanie to

tell Brittany to tell Alex Oh mom you

rule now there are eight tickets their

tour for your father and me are you guys

are going well yeah you're too young to

go to a concert by yourself okay then I

have some role I pick out the clothes

you wear I pick up the music you play in

the van and you don't talk to us during

the concert or we wear what we want we

play what we want we do whatever we want

and you still get to go to the concert

who does she think she is making up

rules for us yeah okay here are the real

rules I tell you what to wear you don't

sing along to the radio and the van and

you don't talk to anyone why do I have

rules bill you told the boys that our

daughter liked him you can never do that

again fine you know you could have told

me i had concert tickets instead of

leaving me standing there with my potato

in my hand like I could take a potato

out of your hand

[Music]

concentration now in session pinking up

James up top cake good luck mmm in paint

well me right now let's my wrist please

I gotta tell you Judy and sis or driving

to a wall tell you what pull over there

we'll stop and get some snacks you could

take a brief oh thank you kids are going

to get some snacks doing a real good job

not talking to the kids thanks you want

anything from the store I'm fine don't

even think of doing that pulling the car

away just as we're trying to get back in

give me some credit here I haven't done

that since you're in labor with Tina

centration names of kids who bugged me

Tiffany Lisa kid in the Hat nor mr.

Miller Oh Alex by the way thanks for

buying me that food the other day no

side so I wanted to ask you something

about Warren he did say she likes me

right no what I thought you said she

likes me and no are you all right cuz I

should call 911 she doesn't like okay

but you didn't hear that from me you

didn't hear anything from me now just

leave me alone how's it going fine just

fine can we go now are you all right

you're sweating I'm not my little girl's

birthday I was crying I'm here that

tears roll

and these are fancy stop complaining

such watch the whole concert on the

jumbotron Wow 80-foot tall television

think we tell them I wonder why Alex

isn't sitting next door who knows sit

next pick me I've been paying attention

alone i wonder if something Judy kids

have minds of their own the important

thing is nobody said anything to anybody

and we're all enjoying the concert what

did you do did you think something Alex

no oh now I know you're lying because

when you lie you stretch your workout I

do now

yeah did you tell Alex I didn't like him

oh yeah why would you tell them that I

didn't know what to say I was stuck in

the band with him he wouldn't let us see

you told him Lauryn didn't like him

first I'm not supposed to say she likes

now you matter because I said she

doesn't like me some credit here this I

didn't blab about how she goes crazy

waiting from the call how she dances for

the pillow or pretends it's him actually

right Alex and a piece of paper over and

over again Lauren loves alex store and

loves alex Lauren loves alex don't let a

lot louder in here a couple of seconds

ago turn around you too kid in the Hat

from now on I'm gonna make a note of

what color coat you're wearing I just

chased a girl who looks like you for

three parking lots look I'm sorry about

what happened please come back to the

concert with me no come on your mother's

gonna k*ll me no I know I screwed up I

was just trying to help we didn't told

me you liked this guy you said it was

really important to you what was I

supposed to do uh nothing

Oh see that's the problem you're my

daughter I can't just do nothing I want

you to be happy I gotta be honest for

the I'm lost here this is so much

simpler when you were little if you were

upset I just hold you upside down bite

you toes and you'd laugh and everything

to be okay you don't think that would

mean you but I'm really sorry I ruined

your birthday and I have no idea how to

make it better you can't I really like

the sky and you embarrassed me in from

all my friends there's nothing you can

do this gonna fix okay how about I give

you fifty bucks what I'll give you fifty

bucks to go back to the concert and let

me off the hook cash you won't take a

check show okay really you're not

insulted that I'm just buying your love

fork it over no punkin your happiness

means everything to me I know dad we

should be getting back oh and Here Come

two security guards and the girl I was

chasing

[Music]

caravan don't enjoy deal look at our

daughter and minutes ago like the world

was ending now it's like nothing ever

happened I will never understand her

thank you you finally get it walkin

expect from now on everything you do

around her bra oh she's becoming a woman

what do you say we ditch the kids you

sink down to the glutes take an example

would that be second chance I'm just

kidding

[Music]

I'm ready hands on the floor of the

concert like 20 years ago I don't have

better hair I think they're still

touring Big Bear is REO

Speedwagon attorney Don oh thank you

what ya'll believe all the time from

used to make fun of you know one we

could do that thing we used to do a

concert yeah I guess you ride your to

all my grandma let's go back to the

cheap seats

[Music]

now I gotta for ya

hey Lauren its effectiveness Jumbotron

[Applause]

[Music]

well that was a fairly uncomfortable

ride home hey honey happy birthday what

the worst part is if our children turned

out to be screwed up I can't just blame

you mom we still had a good time tonight

you want to go upstairs for an encore

only if you give me a standing O

I wasn't having any

way cuz imagine