02x06 - Martha Blah Blah / Skits Behaves

[bunniefuu]

was an average dog *

* She went... and... and...
(barking, growls)

* When she ate
some alphabet soup *

* Then what happened
was bizarre. *

On the way to Martha's stomach,
the letters lost their way.

They traveled to her brain,
and now...

* She's got a lot to say

* Now she speaks...

How now, brown cow?

* Martha speaks

* Yeah, she speaks
and speaks and speaks *

* And speaks and speaks.

What's a caboose?

When are we eating again?

* Martha speaks...

Hey, Joe, what do you know?

My name's not Joe.

* She's not always right,
but still that Martha speaks. *

Hi, there.

* She's got a voice,
she's ready to shout *

* Martha will tell you
what it's all about *

* Sometimes wrong,
but seldom in doubt *

* Martha will tell you
what it's all about *

* That dog's unique...

Testing, one, two.

* Hear her speak

* Martha speaks and speaks
and speaks and speaks and... *

* Communicates, enumerates

* Elucidates, exaggerates

* Indicates and explicates

* Bloviates and overstates

and...
(panting)

* Hyperventilates!

* Martha-- to reiterate--
Martha speaks. *

More broth.

Oh, hi, there.

Granny and I have
a terrific show
for you today.

You'll hear words like
"expand" and "reduce,"

"add" and "subtract"--

words that are about getting
bigger and smaller and better.

Mmm...

This batter still
needs improvement.

Add bonemeal.

Your manners
still need improvement.

You should say "please."

Please enjoy our show.

Okay, dig in.

(babbling)

Oh, uh, hello, Jake.

Oh, uh...

Ah, help yourself.

There's plenty more
where that came from.

(babbling)

Now what have you got to say
for yourself?

Goo oup, Mata.

Sounds like you missed
a few letters there, Jakey.

(babbling)

Leaving out letters can
really limit your speech.

(Skits barks)

When you limit
something,

you stop it from
getting bigger.

Like, Jake's vocabulary
would be limited

without the letter "R."

You can't say
"Martha" without it.

(squealing)

(barking)

Mata.

Mar... tha.

Let me tell you a story, Jake.

This happened a while back--
you might not remember it.

I'd only been talking
a few weeks...

Life with language
was one big banquet.

MAN (over speaker):
Can I help you?

Three burgers
and three fries, please.

And two additional
burgers

without the bun
or the sauce.

Every day was full
of surprises.

Oh, what
a nice-looking doggy.

Oh, you're pretty easy
on the eyes yourself.

(gasps)

Yes, talking
really opened doors.

Let me out.

Let me in!

Let me out.

Let me in!

(slurping)

Of course, this was before
the addition of the doggy door.

Let me out!

There was no greater joy
to me than talking.

Little did I know,

trouble was cooking
over at Granny's soup factory.

The soup company
employed alphabeticians.

Alf was an artist with As.

Barney made beautiful Bs.

And Zelda's Zs
were full of zest.

The soup company's founder,
Granny Elsie, had promised...

Every letter in every can.

But Granny Elsie wasn't
running the show anymore.

Granny Flo was,
and she had different ideas.

Every letter in every can.

Outrageous!

Oh, kids these days
are spoiled, I tell you.

Why, when I
was a girl,

we couldn't afford
a whole alphabet.

You had to make do
with what you had.

"W"?

We never heard of "W."

We had to get by on plain "U"

and like it!

By golly, I'm reducing my staff.

Reducing? You mean...?

I mean, I'm making
my staff smaller.

That's what you do
when you reduce something.

There'll be fewer letters
in the soup,

fewer people on the payroll.

Oh, and more
money for you?

Why, yes.

Oh, uh, I...
I mean, no.

That's to keep people
from being spoiled.

letters is plenty.

It's time to round up
my alphabeticians.

Half of them have laid out
their last letter.

Attention!

Bye-bye, "B."
Sayonara, "S."

Toodle-oo, "T."
Adios, "A."

I've been fired.

(groaning)
In addition

to "D" and "S"
and "L" and... wow.

She's subtracting half
the alphabet.

GRANNY FLO:
I wish there
was some way

I could fire less people,
but there isn't.

Sorry.

(laughing)

Sorry I didn't think
of this sooner.

(laughing)

But, Granny,
won't people notice

you've subtracted
half the letters

from the alphabet soup?

We're reducing letters,
not flavor.

No one will notice
a thing.

MARTHA:
In a few days,

the soup with fewer letters
was in supermarkets,

my dinner bowl and my brain,

but with half the alphabet
subtracted,

things just weren't the same.

Goo oup o.

Huh?

What did you
just say?

I... I goo oup o.

(laughs)

I wasn't trying to be funny.

I was trying to say,
"Good soup today,"

but with half the letters
in my words gone...

(laughing):
It sounds like you

got a frog
in your throat.

(hocking)

Ah...

(laughs)
No, there's not really
a frog in there.

It's an expression--
it means you're hoarse.

Maybe if you rest
your voice,

it'll be better
tomorrow.

(birds chirping)

(both yawning)

MARTHA:
But the next day, it was worse.

My ability to speak

was being reduced
by the minute.

Instead of "Good morning,"
I said...

Goo oig, H.

The letters Granny subtracted
from the soup

were disappearing
from my brain.

Ohigiwog.

"Something is wrong," I said.

Wogo!

"My words are gone."

What? What is
it, Martha?

What's wrong?

Wogo! Wogo! Wogo!

At first, I wasn't certain
how limited my speech was.

When I tried to say,

"Hello, Grandma Lucille.
How's it going?"

It came out...

Hog, you hogg.

(all gasping)

(babbling)

DAD:
Anything for you, Martha?

But it's really hard
to order a burger

without "buh" and "er."

Ug!

Aren't you
feeling well?

Ug! Ug!

What's wrong?

I think her stomach
is upset.

She keeps
saying, "Ugh."

I... I ug!

Hmm, maybe we ought
to limit her diet

to alphabet soup
for a while.

I ug! I ug!

MAN (over speaker):
Sorry, could you repeat that?

Hello?

I ate greater and greater
amounts of alphabet soup,

thinking more letters
would help.

O-goo.

No good.

Nothing worked.

Martha's speech
is really becoming diminished.

Diminished?
Is that another language?

I thought Martha
only spoke English and dog.

No.

Diminish means something
is becoming smaller.

HELEN:
Martha's speech

is definitely
diminishing.

She's saying less
and less.

I'm afraid Martha
is losing her habilidad,

her ability to speak.

I couldn't imagine
not being able to talk.

I'd be just another dog

scratching at the door
to go out.

(whimpers)

It's your turn
to walk the dog.

Not me.
I did it last week.

What dog?

I couldn't stand that.

I'd gotten used to having a
greater vocabulary than "woof."

HELEN:
Martha, where are you going?

MARTHA:
I wandered the streets
for hours.

I was so upset, I didn't even
bark at the stinking pigeons.

Wogo.

Whihgo?

My words are gone.

Where did they go?

(car horns honking)

Whoo, whoo?

What to do? What to do?

I'd been wandering
for some time, when suddenly...

(sniffing)

I smelled something familiar...

and delicious.

Oup o.

"Soup's on," I said.

Or tried to.

(panting)

Well, hello there, doggy.

Are you hungry?

How about a nice bowl
of alphabet soup?

Let me know if
you want more.

There it is.

A perfect "A."

Oh, and look at that "L."

Boy, Lou, sure had
a way with pasta.

(sighs)

My last can
of real alphabet soup.

It's just not the same

since Granny left
half the letters out.

(gasps):
What did you say?

What did I say?

Hah! Did you hear that?
I can talk again.

Isn't that stupendous?

I didn't know you could talk
in the first place.

It's a long story.

Now, what's all this about
Granny subtracting letters?

She reduced her staff by half.

The new cans of soup
only have "some letters"

instead of "every letter."

(laughing)

* A-B-C-D-E-F-G

* H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P

* Q-R-S-T-U-V

* W-X-Y and Z

* Now I have all

* There are soup
cans to be fixed. *

Thanks, Alf.

Now, where's Grrranny?!

GRANNY FLO:
Ha-ha!

My profits keep climbing
higher and higher.

I don't know when
I've made more money.

Firing those workers

was the best decision
I ever made.

You broke your promise!

Who said that?

Oh.

Did you speak?

MARTHA:
Every letter in every can.

You promised.

But reducing letters
was good for business.

Good soup
is your business.

Put all the letters
back in the soup.

But my profits
will be diminished.

Don't be a grrreedy
Grrranny!

Oh, Granny Elsie, have mercy.

I promise I'll never subtract
letters from the soup again.

Well, you'd better not.

(phone dialing)

Hello? Alf?

I stayed with Granny Flo
until she'd phoned

all the fired employees, and
added them back to her staff.

What would people do
without dogs?

So you see, Jake,

the addition,
or subtraction,

of a letter can really
make a difference.

MOM:
Jake?

You're being entirely
too quiet in there.

What are you up to?

Martha.

How many times do
I have to tell you?

Human babies learn to
talk as they get older,

not from eating soup.

Here, let me help.

I hate to see a single letter
go to waste.

(Jake laughing)

MARTHA:
Addition and subtraction
are simple.

When you subtract,
you take something away,

and you have less.

When you add,

you put something in,
and you have more.

Watch.

See how there are
fewer biscuits?

I subtracted one from the table
and added it to my belly.

(whimpering)

I've subtracted
another biscuit.

My belly is really happy to
have that additional biscuit.

Subtraction-- I'm reducing
the biscuits on the table;

addition-- I'm putting
more biscuits in my belly.

(munching)

(gasps)

Helen?!

I'm going to need
additional biscuits.

A puddle of water...
(laughing)

a yard full of mud, and thou.

I tell you, Skits, it doesn't
get any better than this.

(gasps)

But you could improve
your attack.

(barks)
Improve.

It's when you make
something better.

Like adding gravy to roast beef.

Or adding gravy to anything.

(Skits barks)

(straining):
Yeah, okay.

That's a small improvement.

But I bet you can't do it again!

That's better.

Nope. Not much room
for improvement there. Yup.

(humming tune)

Whoa! Whoops!
Whoa! Whoa.

After you.

MOM:
Quedó perfecto!

Just perfect.

Mrs. Blatsky
is going to love it.

(babbling)

(gasps)

(all sigh)

Allow me.

Gracias.

De nada.

Oh, my.

Where did you learn
such beautiful manners?

From my beautiful wife.

She's always telling me
how to behave.

Oh, brother.

You mind your
manners.

(barking)

No, Skits!

Don't jump!

(all yelling)

Oh...

(Skits barking)

DAD:
Bad dog!

Bad!

You have got to learn
better manners.

(whimpering)

MOM:
This actually may be
an improvement.

It's much simpler.

Mrs. Blatsky likes
stark minimalism.

Ugh, it's going
to sound so lame

when I tell Mrs. Clusky
my dog ate my science project.

(whimpering)

It's okay, Skits.

I know you didn't mean to.

Helen, you're not doing
Skits any favors

by letting him misbehave.

He didn't mean to misbehave.

Skits is your dog.

It's your responsibility
to train him.

Okay, Dad.

I don't know anything
about dog training.

You don't have to.

These guys are
training experts.

They'll show you
how it's done.

We've got the
Mutt Murmurer;

Cousin Morty;
Pooch-ma.

What's that?

Yoga for dogs.

It comes with a
minute med-dog-tation.

(laughing)
Oh, you laugh.

But it says here, "You'll
see immediate improvement.

You're only hours away from
a perfectly behaved dog."

I'd be happy if he just learned
not to jump up.

(static hissing)

TD:
Cool! This is the Mutt Murmurer.

His show is super popular.

(mumbling)

I can't understand
a word he said.

That's why he's called
the Mutt Murmurer.

He murmurs.

(growling)

(whimpering)

What a bully!

I don't think I can be
all mean like that.

It's not mean.
It's being the boss.

You know-- the alpha dog.

It's all in the eye contact.

Watch.

I wasn't hungry anyway.

(laughing)

(clearing throat)

How did you do that?

Mm, I actually
am the alpha dog.

(static hissing)

(barking)

Oh, my dog.

Cousin Morty is so proud.

I like this guy.
Me, too.

But how does he get the dog
to behave, just like that?

It says here,
"Cousin Morty develops

a trusting relationship
with each dog."

Develop?

Isn't that when something
changes little by little?

That'swhy?
no good.

We need Skits to change a lot--
and right away.

Maybe Morty's method makes
dogs develop super fast.

Yeah. Try it.

Off.
(grunts)

Whoa...

(laughing)

Well, at least somebody
got off the couch.

Expand your mind.

Feel the growth of calmness.

I'm not sure this
is doing anything.

(TD grunts)

I'm just trying to figure out

how she got her legs
behind her head.

MOM:r opens)
I'm home!

(Skits barks, crashing)

Skits!
Oh, no!

Skits' mind may
have expanded,

but his manners
are just the same.

Uh-oh. (grunts)

How are you at
untying knots?

(crickets chirping)

(sighs)

I did everything
the experts said,

but nothing worked.

Skits still has
bad manners.

Well, you'll have
to figure something out.

He has to learn to behave.

Ser bueno.
You know,

be good, do as he's told.

No, I know what "behave" means,

but Skits is just
behaving like Skits.

He's jumpy-up-y.

Skits is too big
to be so wild.

What if he knocks
over Grandma? Or Jake?

Someone
could get hurt.

(babbling)

If Skits keeps
misbehaving,

he'll have to be an outside dog.

How do you think that
would make him feel?

Kind of left out and sad,
I guess.

He really likes
being around people.

Exactamente! Exactly!

Dogs are happier
when they have rules.

Rules show them what to do
to stay out of trouble.

Hey, guys.
Dad's home.

I'm so hungry,
I could eat my tie.

(barking)

(grunts):
Oh!

(pants)

You may have to.

Don't worry.

We'll have this
cleaned up in no time.

(whimpers, engine starts)

(howls)

HELEN:
Can't Skits come
to Burger Barn, too?

After last time?

He kept jumping all over
the car and stepping on us.

And on my burger.

(Skits barks)

HELEN:
Don't worry, Skits.

We'll be right back.

I promise!

(whines)

Hey, Skits.

I got you a Burger Barn
Beefariffic Bonanza.

(gasps):
Oh, no!

Holy cannoli!

(Skits barks)

Skits!
Skits!

Does Skits have to stay outside?

I'm afraid so.

I just can't trust him
in the house

until he develops
some manners.

But what if he doesn't?

improves at all?
Well...

maybe we can talk to TD's uncle

about letting Skits live
on the farm with him.

Mom, no!

We can't send Skits away.

We're his family.

Skits could jump all
he wanted in the country,

and we could go visit
every now and then.

You had a good time
at CK's farm,

didn't you, Martha?
It was okay,

but a flock of sheep
isn't a family.

We'll talk about it tomorrow.

Buenas noches.

Try to get some sleep.

I can't believe Skits
might have to go away.

Don't worry, Helen.

We'll figure something out.

Wow, that's harsh!

If I had to have good manners
to live at my home,

I would have been sent to live
with my uncle years ago.

Why didn't Skits learn
anything from those shows?

When we trained Martha,

she learned
stuff right away.

Well, I wasn't perfect.

I didn't jump up,
but I did wet the rug.

I couldn't figure out that
I was supposed to go outside.

Dad would walk me around
and around and around.

And then, we'd go
back inside where it

was all nice and warm
(Martha barks)

and... whoosh!

Martha!

I don't remember that.

You were little.

So how did you
learn where to go?

Same way anyone
learns anything, I guess.

Practice.
Of course.

Ugh! I can't believe
I've been such a goof.

Here I am watching
all these shows

and seeing all the other dogs
learning everything right away

and thinking Skits
should be like them.

I mean, those shows promise
immediate results, right?

Yep.
Uh-huh.

But that's TV.

In reality, if you want
to get better at something,

you have to practice.

And we're going to
start right now.

Skits, sit.

(pants)
Sit!

Sit!

Sit.
(grunting)

Whoa!
Whoa!

(Skits barks)

Now that's what
I call progress.

Progress?

Yeah. Progress is
when you slowly

get better at
something, right?

Yeah.

Then Skits is definitely
making progress.

He got his rump on
the ground that time.

(Helen and TD laughing)

If Skits progressed
any more slowly,

he'd be standing still.

(straining, grunting)

Heel, Skits.

Heel!

Good, Skits!

Now that's progress.

(squirrel chitters)

(barks)
Whoa!

And that isn't.

Heel, Skits!

Whoa!
(thuds)

Stay, Skits. Stay.

Wow. What an improvement.

I'm seeing real
growth in Skits' manners.

(squirrel chitters)

(barks)
Whoa!

Oops. Sorry.
He'll get it.

He just needs
more practice.

Skits, sit.

Sit!

Skits, sit.

Sit!

Yay!

(grunts)

Down.

Good, Skits.

(squirrel chitters)

(Skits whimpers)

It's easier to stay put
if you pretend he isn't there.

Good job, Skits!
Yeah!

All right!
All right!

(humming)

Hmm? (screams)

(Skits barks)

Look out!

(moans)

Well, I'll be.

Good boy, Skits.

MARTHA:
And that's not all.

Helen has taught Skits
a bunch of new tricks.

Show them, Helen.

Skits, lie down.

Roll over.

This is my favorite.

Give me a kiss-ey.

I've got to hand it
to you, Helen.

I didn't think Skits
would ever learn.

Cousin Morty says,
"Any dog can be a good dog.

It just takes practice
and patience."

And a lot of love.

(giggling)

Hello! Today,
I'm going to explain

"expand" and "contract."

Expand means
something gets bigger.

Contract means something
gets smaller.

Allow me to demonstrate.

(inhales deeply)

Expand!

(air hisses, squeaks)

Contract.

Expand!

(air hisses, squeaks)

Contract.

(inhales deeply)

Expanded!

Contracted.

Oh, hi.

Did you catch all those
big and small words?

Let's watch them one more time.

Reducing? You mean...

I mean, I'm making
my staff smaller.

That's what you do
when you reduce something.

No, "diminish" means

HELEN:ng smaller.
Martha's speech

is definitely diminishing.

She's saying less and less.

MARTHA:
Improve.

It's when you
make something better.

Like adding gravy to roast beef.

See you next time.

I need to take a nap
while my belly diminishes.

To dig up some more fun words
and games, visit pbskids.org

* Who's that dog? *

* Who's
that dog? *

* Dog, d-d-dog, d-dog. *

That dog is Casey.

Casey works for my dad.

My dad's a farmer.

She's a farmer's helper
that's a dog.

She catches mice...

And rabbits.

She scares away birds.

(Casey barks)

Casey learned to not walk
in the beds.

Sometimes she'll work
and sometimes she'll play.

* She's that dog... *
* Dog, d-d-dog, d-dog. *