05x44 - Thorny and Rosy

[bunniefuu]

Tetsu My name is Tetsunosuke Sasaki who silences crying babies.

Tetsu When I make curry, I add pickles, aye.

Tetsu If someone looks evil, he's a buddy of mine.

Tetsu We always wake up with some morning pine.

Tetsu This is Isaburo Sasaki, my bro.

Tetsu Head of the Mimawarigumi and always lookin' for a fightin' foe.

Tetsu Here's Toshiro Hijikata, the boss guy.

Tetsu A lot went down, but now, we fly?

Tetsu I walk my life on the pedestrian road.

Tetsu Got a heart of steel that will never blow.

Tetsu Kou Shibasaki is my type of ho.

Tetsu And that's the end of this recap, yo.

Toshi How the hell was that a recap?!

Tetsu Yeah.

Thorny and Rosy

Okita Welcome back, big guy.

Okita That was mean of you.

Okita I helped free you.

Gin Oh, really?

Gin But it's your fault I was arrested in the first place.

Okita You should blame Hijikata-san and the rich dumbass.

Okita I didn't do anything wrong.

Gin Yeah, neither did I.

Isabu Please do not blame the Shinsengumi.

Isabu It was entirely our fault.

Isabu I must apologize.

Isabu I did not realize he was a friend of yours.

Isabu I am unable to properly express my remorse,

Isabu so could you please give me your e-mail address?

Isabu I will send a message of apology.

Gin It's Die_Elite@bocomo.ne.jp.

Isabu However, my nose is supposed to be as sharp as a Doberman's.

Isabu And I could smell great wrongdoing coming from your body.

Isabu Hm?

The Perfect Happiness TheoryThe Joi Patriot Happiness Doctrine

Isabu -Oh? It took me to an odd site...

Gin -What? I smell?

Gin It's been two days since I washed it,

Gin but I only wore it when I went to the convenience store.

Gin It should be okay.

Gin Am I okay, Okita-kun?

Okita Well, this person isn't exactly an innocent bystander.

Okita If you round to the nearest degree, he's a criminal.

Gin Don't make it sound so bad.

Gin If you start rounding, everyone's a criminal, you fool.

Wake up! Borrow milk from a neighbor. Find something to eat for breakfast. Yummy- Radio exercise. Grab extra snacks.- Kidnap a cucumber and waterboard it!!

Gin Kids spend their entire summer vacation committing crimes,

Gin except when they're exercising, you fool.

- Kid Summer Specials. Salt in old wounds. Lame- Pee in the pool, and visit the girls' locker room. Titter.Eat ramen, then run out of the store.

Isabu We are willing to compensate you for

your damaged scooter or any trauma,

Isabu so please indicate your desired amount

Weekday Sale

on the back of this flyer.

Isabu I don't want you pestering us later.

Gin Back of the flyer?!

Gin Don't look down on us common folk, you elite prick!

Gin You think that's enough to soothe the wounds to my heart?!

Gin Mind if I use toilet paper?

Gin I need more room to work with.

Okita Big guy, you're wasting your time.

Okita They'll just flush it down the toilet.

Okita Please carry on.

Okita I appreciate this, Sasaki-dono.

Gin Hey! What are you doing?!

Okita Our vice chief screwed up, so I guess we're even now.

Gin That's bullshit! How did I get dragged into this?!

Isabu No, we're already asking you to

dispose of the trash that is my brother.

Isabu Though I'm willing to pay extra.

Isabu We'll dispose of our own trash.

Gin Yeah, you fool!

Gin Let this guy handle it!

Gin Don't call me trash, you fool!

Okita Nah, he knows that you're too much to handle.

Okita You realize that you're supposed to separate your trash?

Okita Your non-combustible garbage

Okita turned out to be pretty burnable.

Okita It started a fire that's making us sweat in the middle of winter.

Okita Well, he won't be very useful,

but we'll use him until he's reduced to a pile of ashes.

Okita Oh, throw that away for me.

Isabu Okita-san, I have a warning for you.

Isabu Rotten trash can never be restored.

Isabu Instead, it spreads contagions

which causes everything around to rot.

Isabu You should dispose of it before the

Shinsengumi are infected.

Okita Let's go, big guy.

Gin I'm not going with you!

Gin Give me back my ten million!

Gin Hundred million, billion...

Gin Huh? How many zeros were there?

Isabu Are you really so desperate for money?

Gin Hell yeah!

Gin Unlike you rich people,

we can barely scrape by day to day!

Isabu Then I have a job offer for you.

Toshi Man, you're pathetic.

Toshi At this rate, you won't last a day against the Joi.

Toshi If you don't want to die, you have to become stronger.

Toshi Give me three thousand swings before dinner.

Tetsu V-Vice Chief...

Tetsu I-I will become stronger.

Tetsu S-Stronger than my brother, stronger than you!

Tetsu I'll never stop in my tracks again.

Tetsu I'm gonna catch up to everyone else.

Tetsu Walk the same path...

Tetsu S-So you can also become stronger!

Tetsu Your brother doesn't hate you.

Tetsu I'm sure that he misses you!

Tetsu After all, you did everything you could to protect your brother!

Tetsu Your brother did everything he could to protect you!

Tetsu The two of you are true brothers!

Tetsu I envy you.

Tetsu So please don't run away from your brother!

Tetsu Aren't you known as Thorny Toshi?!

Toshi Man, which idiot opened his fat mouth?

Toshi Listen up.

Toshi You mention that name around me again,

Toshi and I'll k*ll you by cramming mayonnaise in every orifice.

Special PoliceShinsengumi

Tetsu Excuse me!

Tetsu Vice Chief!

Tetsu I bought you a yakisoba sandwich!

Toshi No thanks!

Toshi And I didn't even ask for a sandwich!

You have the instincts of a doormat!

Tetsu Vice Chief, let me give you a back rub!

Toshi No thanks.

Tetsu Vice Chief, need me to buy you more cigarettes?

Toshi No thanks.

Tetsu Vice Chief, shall I clean your room for you?

Toshi Just cut it out already!

Tetsu Vice Chief, I brought you mayonnaise.

Toshi Thank you. That's enough, so go away.

Tetsu Vice Chief, are you hard?

Toshi I said to go away!

Toshi Just do as you're told.

Toshi Don't be a pain in the ass.

Tetsu I'm so sorry!

Tetsu I wanted to make myself useful!

Toshi I can't get any work done if you keep bugging me.

Toshi Forget it.

Toshi Go deliver this for me.

Toshi And take your time.

Tetsu Vice Chief, is this letter for...?

Toshi You're going to become stronger than me?

Toshi Then show me what you're made of.

Tamegoro Hijikata

Tetsu Y-Yes, sir...

Tetsu I promise to deliver!

A Found him.

A The target is alone.

A Now's our chance to take him.

A He's headed your way.

A Everyone ready?

A Don't let that traitor get away.

B Hey, newbie. He's coming our way.

B Don't let him out of your sight.

B Hey, did you hear me?

Gin Huh? Oh.

Gin Aye, aye, sir.

B Can we trust him?

B He isn't taking this seriously.

From Sabu-chan

Isabu Good work.

Isabu How is everything going?

Isabu Drop me a message every now and then.

Gin What? You want me to go undercover?

Isabu Yes. You see, the Mimawarigumi is currently

pursuing a certain organization.

Isabu I need you to infiltrate them and provide us with information.

Gin Which organization are you talking about?

Gin I'd be up for infiltrating AKB.

Gin I'll investigate their BWHs.

Gin It's probably the Joi, spelled JOY.

Gin Ponytail and Shoo-Shoo, right?

Gin That's some Heavy Low Tension.

Isabu As you already know, we are elite cops by the elite,

for the elite, and of the elite.

Isabu If one of our elite members were to attempt to infiltrate the Joi,

Isabu they would immediately notice our eliteness.

Gin Don't you ever get sick of saying elite?

Isabu Do you ever get sick of saying

that AKB's Tomomi Itano is cute?

Gin That metaphor wasn't very elite.

Isabu However, a nasty fellow like you would have no trouble taking

Isabu center stage with JOY and

becoming their number one t*rror1st.

Gin That wouldn't make me happy.

Gin I'd be arrested on the spot.

Isabu Our target is the Check It Out g*ng.

Isabu They used to be a bunch of thug

s who dissed the Bakufu with their rapping,

Isabu but after continued internal strife and expansion,

Isabu they transformed into a group of radical rebels.

Isabu The g*ng is now using v*olence.

Isabu We have reports that they are planning

Check It Out g*ng

a large-scale t*rror1st attack.

Isabu Your mission is to make contact

and determine the time and place of this attack,

Isabu as well as locate their base of operations.

Isabu It will be a dangerous mission,

but if you complete it, we will buy millions of your CDs.

Isabu I promise that you will place first in the next poll.

Gin I let him fool me into this mess,

and they already want me to start committing crimes.

Gin Good thing I didn't bring Shinpachi and Kagura.

Gin I don't care if they want revenge on a traitor,

Gin but that cop better take responsibility.

Gin They'll get suspicious if I make a fuss now.

Gin Guess I don't have a choice.

From Sabu-chanYou have a new message.Urgent.

Gin What? It's him again?

Gin He's such a pest.

Gin I don't have time to deal with him.

Gin Huh? Urgent?

Gin Did something happen?

Isabu One of my men, Nobutasu, brought these.

Isabu So yummy.

Isabu If you don't hurry back, there won't be any left for you, Gin-tan.

Isabu P.S. If you want some, send me a message.

Isabu Just kidding.

Isabu We saved some for you, so work hard.

Isabu I bought a good luck charm to keep you safe.

Isabu P.S. I'm worried about your safety. Please send me a message.

Isabu I made a teru teru bozu so it wouldn't rain.

Isabu P.S. What's the weather like where you are? Please send me a message.

Isabu I'm praying for you to send me a message.

Isabu P.S. Rabbits can die of loneliness.

Gin Friggin' pain in the ass!

Gin He really wants me to send a message!

Gin Damn cell phone addict!

Gin He's as bad as Shoko-tan!

Gin I don't have time to send you messages!

B Hey, what are you yelling about? Calm down!

Gin And why is he so hyper when he's sending messages?

Gin He's a different person when writing messages?

Gin I'm working here!

Gin Don't interfere!

Gin Huh?

Isabu It's a waste of time to destroy the phone.

Gin It's a waste of time to be so prepared!

Gin Can you stop interfering already?!

Isabu I'm not interfering.

Isabu I'm calling to let you know that our target is almost here.

Gin Target?

Isabu Please. Don't dawdle or he'll get away.

Tamegoro Hijikata

Tetsu The vice chief trusted me to deliver this important letter.

Tetsu I-I will become stronger...

Tetsu S-Stronger than my brother, stronger than you!

Tetsu He wrote a letter to help encourage me!

Toshi Then show me what you're made of.

Tetsu He was letting me know that it was my turn to shine!

Tetsu Vice Chief, I promise to deliver this letter!

Tetsu I promise to become stronger than everyone else!

Special PoliceShinsengumi

Tetsu I will catch up to you guys!

Toshi Does he even know where to find a mailbox?

Kondo Don't worry.

Kondo Your message was delivered.

Kondo Your message got to him.

Kondo He'll be...

Kondo Tetsu will be fine now.

A You out on an errand, Tetsunosuke-kun?

A You used to be one of us, Tetsu.

A We all dissed the Bakufu together,

A and now you're one of its dogs.

A You've really fallen, traitor!

Isabu Well met. It appears we have a problem on our hands.

Isabu Who would have thought that we would have to

Isabu come out here for the sake of that failure?

Toshi Did you know about his connection to the Joi patriots?

Isabu It appears that he concealed his identity

and met with them from time to time.

Isabu A fitting place to go for someone with nowhere to belong.

Isabu I believe that their leader, Eni Men, was quite fond of him,

Isabu or fond of his money, I should say.

Isabu But as the g*ng grew violent,

Isabu he feared that they would learn he was

the brother of a cop, so he ran away.

Isabu In the end, there was nowhere for him to go.

Isabu And in the end,

his identity was revealed in the worst possible way.

Isabu The younger brother of the Mimawarigumi chief

Isabu and the assistant to the Shinsengumi vice chief.

Isabu This information would be enough to crush two

of Edo's strongest police forces.

Isabu A rather disparate trade.

Isabu To think that fool would hold as

Isabu much worth as the leaders of the Shinsengumi and Mimawarigumi?

Isabu Onward, men.

Isabu We need not concern ourselves with the hostage.

Isabu Wipe out the Joi.

Kondo W-Wait, Sasaki-dono!

Kondo You're going to let your brother die?!

Isabu Are you telling me to negotiate with the t*rrorists?

Isabu Unfortunately, my life is worth far more than yours.

Isabu As I said before,

rotten trash causes everything around it to rot.

Isabu This would never have happened if you had disposed

of Tetsunosuke as I advised.

Isabu Please get out of the way.

Isabu You should be more worried about yourselves.

Isabu After accepting a former Joi as an assistant and

allowing him to be taken hostage,

Isabu you have disgraced yourselves.

Isabu If you also allow a son of the Sasaki family

to die in your care,

Isabu how can you ever make amends?

Isabu As a fan, I'm eager to see what you do.

Toshi Bastard... You used him as a pawn.

Toshi So you were trying to eliminate two thorns

in your side at the same time.

Kondo Stop it, Toshi!

Toshi You knew this would happen,

Toshi yet you're blaming it all on us.

Toshi Gonna pat yourself on the back for getting

rid of us, along with your brother?

Isabu You have it all wrong.

Isabu I already said that I am a big fan.

Isabu But there are many incompetents who do not

know how to handle people like you.

Isabu You must realize that we are nothing more

than cogs in a larger machine.

Isabu What about me?

Isabu I understand that I am

nothing more than a large and superior cog.

Kondo You can spend the rest of your life blaming other people!

Kondo Toshi!

Isabu If you seek my head, it'll cost you a few heads of your own.

Okita Go ahead and draw your sword.

Okita I'll jam it right up your ***.

Kondo S-Stop this, Toshi, Sogo!

Kondo Calm down!

Kondo We don't have time for this!

A Conflict! w*r! What is it good for?

A Boys! These cops are about to tear into each other!

A Watch closely!

A This should be quite the show!

A Mic check, one, two.

A Hurry up and do it!

A Clap your hands!

A Party hard!

A Arms in the air!

A If you keep me waiting, my hand might slip!

A Check it out! Check it out! Check it out!

Kondo Toshi!

Isabu Have you lost your mind, Hijikata-san?

Isabu Move out of the way.

Tetsu I will become stronger.

Tetsu I'm gonna catch up to everyone else.

Tetsu Walk the same path...

Toshi I don't want to listen to those fools,

Toshi but I can't let you pass either.

Toshi This is our battle.

Toshi We're ready to cut our way through the bramble to get in.

Toshi Cut our way through the bramble to go home,

Toshi bringing him and the other Thornies with us.

Toshi We won't let anyone through if they don't have what it takes.

Toshi It won't be easy to get through these thorns.

Isabu I see.

Isabu While you delay us and draw away their attention,

Isabu a small force will circle around and rescue Tetsunosuke.

Is that the plan?

Isabu But I also sent someone from our side.

Isabu I hope she can help.

Isabu Nobume is an elite assassin from our k*lling squad.

Isabu But once her switch is turned on,

Isabu she doesn't stop until she's k*lled everyone in the vicinity,

Isabu so I'm worried that she might

harm the hostage and the rest of you.

Toshi Enough chitchat.

Toshi I can't stand the sight of your face.

Toshi We both have an excuse to eliminate the other now.

Toshi You should be happy.

Isabu I believe that you look like anything but a cop right now.

Toshi Right back at you.

Both -Evil bastard.-Evil bastard.

To Be Continued

Hovering on

the verge of death...

Festival of Thornies

Demon vs. Monster. Hijikata vs. Isaburo. Okita vs. Nobume.

Shinsengumi! Mimawarigumi! Check It Out g*ng! It's all-out w*r between bad boys!!