Greater Edo Pool
Gin: Okay, time for a break!
Gin: Your lips must have turned purple by now.
Gin: Get out of the water for ten minutes, you stupid kids.
A: What? I'm fine!
B: Leave us alone, lifeguard guy!
Gin: Have it your way.
Gin: But if you don't play it safe in the pool, you'll be sorry.
Gin: Don't come crying to me then.
A: You can't scare us!
B: Hey, let's play tag!
Gin: What's wrong?!
Kagura: Lifeguard guy!
Kagura: My friend needs help!
Kagura: His lips started to turn purple,
Kagura: but then it spread
Kagura: until his entire body was purple!
Gin: You idiot!
Gin: I warned you!
Gin: Luckily, the purple germs
haven't spread to his glasses!
Gin: Find a warm blanket, some warm soup,
a warm household, and warm glasses at once!
Gin: Come back, Ishikawa!
Kid: The purple germs will get us!
Gin: Now you know how scary the pool is...
Madao: What are you people doing?!
Madao: I told you to make sure none of the customers drowned in fear!
Madao: Why are you scaring them away?!
Gin: Hasegawa-san, the pool is a death trap.
Gin: These kids need to experience the pain
of getting water up your nose, the infections,
Gin: and the embarrassment of leaving dirty
underwear where everyone can see.
Gin: Once they realize how scary the pool is,
they've earned the right to play in the water.
Madao: They don't need to be scared of turning completely purple!
Madao: Seriously! I finally found a job,
so don't screw this up for me!
Madao: No funny business!
Madao: Watch over the kids as they enjoy their summer,
Madao: and make sure that they make it home safely!
Madao: That's the job of a lifeguard!
Got it?!
Both: Aye aye, sir!
Madao: You don't get to have fun!
Madao: Four Eyes!
You haven't been playing the straight man!
Madao: Do your job, damn it!
Gin: Don't worry.
Gin: They're checking to see if the water is safe.
Gin: I'll be using inception to...
Madao: You just want to take a nap, Idicapriot!
Gin: Hey, give me a break.
Gin: I'm sick of watching kids with
bodies that are as flat as Ken Watanabe.
Gin: I'm here to see girls with some jugs.
Madao: It's summer vacation, so it's mostly kids...
Madao: Whoa, momma. Jackpot!
Gin: Whoo! You're right! She's got jugs!
Gin: Giant jugs!
Gin: Nope...
Gin: It's just a drunk terminator.
Seita: Oh! Gin-san!
Seita: Long time no see!
Madao: Huh? What?
Madao: You know this hot babe?
Tsukuyo: What a coincidence.
Tsukuyo: How have you been?
Madao: Oh, he was doing fine a moment ago,
Madao: but he just died.
Gin: Why are you guys here?
Tsukuyo: Hinowa asked me to teach Seita how to swim.
Tsukuyo: Anyway, I didn't know what to expect from a pool,
Tsukuyo: but it seems to be just like Yoshiwara.
Tsukuyo: Men and women enjoying themselves
without any clothes on.
Madao: No, you're wrong!
Madao: That's not what this place is for!
Seita: Tsukuyo-nee!
Seita: I wanna go down the slide!
Tsukuyo: Wait. First, you learn how to swim.
Madao: That's right.
Madao: The slide is too dangerous for someone who can't swim,
so start with the kiddie pool...
Tsukuyo: First, you pour this over your body.
Madao: That would be for an adult pool!
Tsukuyo: Next, you sit down on this stool and spread your legs.
Madao: Hey!
Madao: What the hell are you teaching him?!
Madao: This isn't a Yoshiwara pool!
Tsukuyo: Let's go then.
Madao: Wait!
Madao: We're going too fast because of the lotion!
Madao: Run away, everyone!
Seita: That was awesome, Tsukuyo-nee!
Seita: Again! Again!
Tsukuyo: One more time and that's it.
Madao: W-Wait...
C: Look! There's a body floating on the water!
Madao: Shit! Did someone get hit?!
Madao: There's been an accident on my watch!
Zura: Elizabeth! The watermelon's nice and cold now!
Zura: Let's split it open...
Madao: We're losing customers because of those idiots.
Madao: We have to keep an eye on the kids,
and any adults who might teach the kids strange games.
Gin: Good, I have an excuse to look around for girls with jugs.
Madao: The most dangerous adult is standing right next to me, I think.
Madao: What?!
Madao: An adult in the kiddie pool teaching a kid how to swim!
Madao: Adults aren't allowed in there!
Gin: What?! She's got big jugs?!
Madao: No, I'd call those tasteful cups.
Gin: She's wearing a cup?
Gin: Oh, that's what you meant.
Madao: Hey, wait a moment!
Madao: The kid is...
Madao: Is she really a kid?
Madao: She's pretty big.
Madao: I think she's taller than the beanpole with cups.
Gin: Kids these days get plenty to eat,
so they grow vertically.
Gin: Look, it's Robert De Flato.
Madao: Isn't that a man?
Madao: That's the body of a boy.
Gin: Huh?
Gin: It suddenly got dark.
Madao: Same here.
Otae: Who were you calling Robert De Flato?
Gin: M-My mistake...
Madao: You must be Sylvester Stallone.
Can I have an autograph?
Otae: Are you blind?!
Gin: I-I see...
Gin: Tasteful cups on a beanpole...
Kyu: This is why I didn't want to come!
Kyu: I hate swimsuits! I hate the pool!
Otae: Kyu-chan!
Otae: The hell are you bastards doing?!
Otae: Do you want me to strangle you?!
Gin: You've got it wrong!
Gin: We were doing our job as lifeguards!
Otae: Zip it!
Otae: Your noses are bleeding, you pervs!
Gin: Our noses?!
Gin: We're bleeding everywhere, thanks to you two!
Gin: Anyway, this is the kiddie pool!
Gin: Adults aren't allowed in here!
Otae: Don't blame us!
Otae: Kyu-chan can't swim, so she was practicing here!
Otae: Sorry, Kyu-chan.
Otae: It's my fault for forcing you to come here...
Gin: Kyu-chan looks pretty happy!
Gin: She's taking full advantage of the situation!
Otae: Enough is enough!
Otae: We're turning you in to the police!
Otae: That's the quickest solution!
Gin: This is all a misunderstanding!
Kondo: Otae-san!
Kondo: Allow me to handle this!
Kondo: I have proof of their crime on tape!
Kondo: I'll arrest them on the spot!
Otae: Arrest yourself!
Tojo: Lady!
Tojo: I have filmed the evildoings of that cop!
Tojo: The stalker is finished!
Tojo: Our plan is a success!
Kyu: I was never part of any plan!
Sa: I did it, Gin-san!
Sa: I finally got a shot of your willy peeking out!
Gin: You have nothing to do with what's going on here!
A: Blood! Blood's coming from the other pool!
Madao: The customers are running away again!
Madao: Wait!
C: Hey! There's also someone bleeding over there!
Madao: Hey! Hold on!
Madao: I don't believe this!
Madao: Somebody's died on my watch!
Katsura: Got it!
Katsura: Elizabeth, start the fire!
Katsura: We'll feast like kings tonight!
Shin: That's such a blast!
Seita: I know!
Seita: Tsukuyo-nee! Again! Just one more time!
Madao: Only the idiots are left now.
Madao: This is the busiest time of the year.
Gin: Look at it this way, Hasegawa-san.
Gin: An accident was bound to happen
with these idiots around.
Gin: You should be glad that those kids are gone.
Gin: Fortunately, these guys can take a beating,
so we can just leave them alone.
Gin: Let's get some rest today.
Madao: I see. You're right.
Madao: If Jump can go on summer vacation, why can't we?!
Gin: That's right!
Gin: The only people who watch this show
Gin: are the ones who don't feel like watching the news!
Gin: Nobody will notice if we take a week off!
Madao: Damn!
Madao: You've got me all fired up now!
Madao: Can I take off my clothes?!
Madao: Can I do the butterfly butt naked?!
Gin: Can I make a pool of strawberry milk?!
Gin: Can I drown in a pool of strawberry milk?!
Madao: Doesn't matter! Doesn't matter!
Madao: Cause today, this place...
Both: ...is our paradise!
Matsu: Hey.
Matsu: Didn't you hear me talking to you, kiddo?
Matsu: Let me borrow some swimming trunks.
Gin: Th-That's...
Matsu: Man, my buddy suddenly got the urge to swim.
Matsu: A cabaret club would be better, damn it.
Matsu: So, we don't have our swimsuits since
this came out of nowhere.
Matsu: A pool like this should have plenty to rent.
Matsu: If not, you've got three seconds to take off your trunks!
Matsu: One!
Shogun: Katakuriko, no v*olence.
Shogun: There's no need to worry.
Gin: Th-That's...
Gin: Don't tell me that's...!
Shogun: Shoguns have traditionally gone swimming in tighty whities.
Both: The... The...
Both: Shogun?!
What Happens Twice Can Happen Thrice
Greater Edo Pool
Matsu: Come on, are you sure?
Matsu: Everyone will be able to see through
those tighty whities once they're wet.
Matsu: We'll have an Abarenbo Shogun
on the loose before it's Saturday night.
Shogun: It cannot be avoided.
Shogun: Shoguns have traditionally been lonely down there.
Both: I-Is that really the problem here?
Shogun: I've always been interested in swimming in a pool.
Shogun: This is an excellent opportunity for me to experience
the life of a common citizen.
Matsu: Man, you've got weird interests.
Matsu: I'll be waiting at the usual cabaret club.
Matsu: Hey, boys.
Matsu: Teach him how to have fun at the pool.
Matsu: Just so you know, we snuck out.
Matsu: Don't let anyone find out that he's the shogun.
Matsu: Oh, if anything happens to him,
our heads will be rolling around the ground.
Matsu: Keep that in mind.
Both: W-Wait a moment!
Shogun: Call me Sho-chan.
Shogun: Let's enjoy ourselves.
Gin: I-I was all ready to enjoy having the pool to myself!
Gin: Why did the shogun have to show up now?!
Gin: Why does the shogun always show up at the worst possible time?!
Disinfection
Gin: Why is he only washing himself down there?!
Gin: This isn't funny.
Gin: We aren't dealing with a normal pool here!
Gin: The idiots of Edo are all
on vacation here at the same time...
Gin: This is the Bermuda Triangle of Idiots!
Shogun: They seem to be enjoying themselves.
Shogun: I would like to join them.
Gin: Sending the shogun out there
Gin: would be like throwing a
naked MatsuKen with maracas to the sharks!
Madao: Wh-What do we do, Gin-san?!
Gin: It's too late to worry about it now.
Gin: We'll have to keep those idiots in line,
Gin: while entertaining the shogun until he leaves!
Gin: Give the shogun a cap and goggles
so they don't recognize him!
Gin: Uh, excuse me, everyone?
Kagura: What's up?
Kagura: Do you want to join us?
Gin: Uh, well...
Gin: There's this Sho-chan person...
Gin: He wants to join in the fun.
Otae: We don't mind at all.
Kondo: Alrighty then. Let's welcome him aboard, Otae-san.
Sa: I think it's cute.
Sa: Some kids don't know how to make friends.
Tojo: Come on down, Sho-chan!
Tojo: I already consider you a friend!
Tojo: But you aren't allowed to talk to the Lady!
Gin: Yeah, you people shouldn't be talking.
Tsukuyo: It's fine with us,
Tsukuyo: but isn't he in his underwear instead of a swimsuit?
Kyu: Good point.
Kyu: Isn't that against the rules?
Kyu: He's making me uncomfortable.
Sa: There isn't much of a difference
between underwear and a swimsuit.
Sa: th and th shouldn't be so stingy!
Shin: Are you people ever going to get over that?
Kagura: They're different!
Kagura: Underwear is dirty because you wear it for a long time!
Gin: No, it's okay.
Gin: His underwear is clean
Gin: since he comes from a pretty high-class background.
Otae: I can see something on his underwear.
Gin: Huh? What?
Gin: Stop!
Gin: He'll hear you, so stop!
Kondo: She's right!
Kondo: The tip is a little moist.
Gin: I said to stop!
Gin: That's just the disinfectant!
Otae: Are you sure about that?
Otae: We should check the other side.
Otae: Excuse me!
Otae: Could you turn around?
Gin: There isn't any poop on his underwear!
Madao: Ah! Wait!
Gin: You idiots!
Gin: What do we do now?!
Otae: Since he left, he must have had poop on his underwear.
Otae: Close call...
Sa: How frightening...
Tsukuyo: Wait a moment.
Tsukuyo: He's back.
Seita: Oh, he's wearing swim trunks.
Tojo: Well, so he brought a swimsuit.
Shin: Huh?
Shin: Did he just trade with Hasegawa-san?
Gin: Who cares?! He's wearing a swimsuit now!
Kagura: But there's a % chance that
Madao's trunks are dirtier than a pair of underwear.
Gin: What's that supposed to mean?!
Otae: Kagura-chan, you've got it wrong.
Gin: She's out of control, right?!
Otae: There's a % chance that Hasegawa-san's are dirtier.
Gin: How cruel can you get?!
Otae: Besides, there's something on Hasegawa-san's trunks.
Kondo: She's right!
Kondo: The tip is a little moist!
Gin: Hey! Why do you keep getting your pants wet, Sho-chan?!
Tojo: What's wrong with that man?!
Tojo: How many times will he release his load before he's satisfied?!
Gin: Don't make it sound dirty!
Sa: Stay out!
Sa: I don't want to become pregnant with a child that isn't Gin-san's!
Gin: Stop!
Gin: He's a naive child, so stop!
Madao: Uh... Let's introduce him again.
Gin: This is Sho-chan...
Gin: Everyone be nice now.
Otae: Um...
Otae: Don't let him off the boat.
Kagura: Make sure he doesn't touch the water.
Madao: A-Are you sure about this?
Madao: The shogun wants to be friends,
but they won't even let him in the water.
Madao: The shogun hasn't even touched the water,
and his goggles are soaked!
Madao: This is bad! He's really mad!
We're dead! They'll cut off our heads!
Gin: Calm down.
Gin: We just have to give him a summer experience that he'll never forget.
Gin: What does summer make you think of?
Gin: What does the pool make you think of?
Gin: What do swimsuits make you think of?
Madao: You can't mean...!
Gin: Okay, we have enough people now, so let's get started!
Gin: The Exciting Underwater Cavalry Battle for Samurai!
Madao: N-Nipslips!
Madao: Women grabbing at each other in the water!
Madao: With heaving bosoms!
Madao: Gin-san, this will work!
Madao: We can turn the shogun's tears of sorrow into tears of joy!
Gin: Okay, break up into pairs.
Gin: One person will be the rider on the boat!
Gin: The other will be the horse who pulls the boat!
Gin: If the rider falls off the boat
or loses his headband, you lose!
Gin: Well, things other than the headband may also be pulled off
in the process...
Seita: Let's play! Let's play! Let's play!
Kondo: Boat! Bring me a boat!
Madao: They caught on.
Madao: You're good, Gin-san.
Madao: You've convinced the guys
to help us without realizing what's going on!
Gin: Why would...?
Gin: Why are the guys on the boats?!
Gin: We can already see your nipples!
Gin: These guys are so desperate to see skin
Gin: that they haven't realized how it's impossible with this set up!
Sa: I can be Gin-san's horse!
Sa: Gin-san's gonna ride me!
Gin: I have no idea what she's even trying to do!
Gin: Hey, enough of this crap!
Gin: Hasegawa-san's about to turn into a castaway!
Gin: Use your head before you pair up.
Gin: The stronger partner should be the horse!
Kagura: That's what we did.
Gin: She's right!
Gin: The girls are all stronger here!
Otae: You were probably planning something dirty.
Otae: I could see right through you.
Gin: Nobody wants to see your crater of a chest!
Gin: We're not on the moon!
Kondo: Otae-san! I'm prepared to explore every crater on you...
Kondo: ...to find the nipple!
Otae: You want me to strangle you?!
Tsukuyo: Don't play dumb.
Tsukuyo: It's written all over your faces.
Seita: Where?!
Seita: We weren't going to do anything dirty!
Seita: Right, Gin-san?!
Gin: Yeah.
Gin: Nobody was thinking about anything dirty.
Gin: The Shogun was?!
Gin: Uh, excuse me, Sho-chan?
Gin: You're getting carried away with the fantasizing...
Gin: You're giving away the plan...
Shogun: Shoguns have traditionally been
too excited to go to sleep the night before a field trip.
Gin: I don't care!
Gin: Could you go to sleep right now?!
Gin: Okay! We'll use rock, paper, scissors!
Gin: The winner decides if he wants to be the rider or the horse!
Gin: And the loser has to dive from the highest spot!
Tsukuyo: How is that related to the cavalry battle?
Gin: Who cares?! It's more fun when there's a penalty!
Gin: Heh, a dive from that height is
guaranteed to shift a girl's swimsuit.
Gin: If we don't get a nipslip, we'll at least get to see some camel toe!
All: Rock, paper, scissors!
Gin: You girls better get ready to show some skin!
Gin: It's the Shogun?!
Gin: Hey, Sho-chan.
Gin: Don't you realize who I'm doing this for?!
Shogun: Shoguns have traditionally worn tighty whities,
but the thong is not bad at all.
Gin: Why are you picking up weird urges?!
Tsukuyo: Hey, how is this fun?
Tsukuyo: We're looking at an old man with a wedgie.
Gin: Shut up!
Gin: You'll never see a more noble wedgie in your lifetime!
Otae: You were probably planning something dirty again.
Otae: I can see right through you.
Gin: Nobody wants to see your camel toe!
Gin: I'm not Lawrence of Arabia!
Kondo: Otae-san! I have no interest in camel toe!
Otae: You don't?!
Kyu: Don't play dumb.
Kyu: The jig is up.
Tojo: I would never dare!
Tojo: We had pure intentions!
Tojo: Isn't that right, Gintoki-dono?
Kyu: How do you explain that then?
SS Adventurer
Departure!
Gin: The SS Adventurer?!
SS Adventurer
Kyu: You were going to use him to trick us
into embarking on a dangerous adventure.
Gin: Why would this image
make you want to go on an adventure?!
Gin: He's clearly a victim!
Kyu: That hole was asking for a flag to be planted.
Kyu: What a naughty trap...
Gin: You people are the naughty ones when
you're planting flags down there!
Gin: Sho-chan!
Shogun: SS Adventurers have traditionally
been boats for carrying adventurers...
Gin: Get a hold of yourself!
Gin: You're not the SS Adventurer!
Gin: You're the almighty shogun!
Kagura: If you're so desperate for nipslips and camel toe,
you should change the rules.
Gin: Huh?
Kagura: Cut straight to the chase.
Kagura: If your naughty parts are exposed, you lose.
Kagura: How's that?
Otae: I like it.
Kyubei: A brilliant idea.
Tsukuyo: All the skin you could ever want.
Tsukuyo: Isn't that nice?
Gin: Hold it right there!
Gin: It's painfully obvious that this is going to end badly!
Girls: Okay, let's start!
Gin: Hey! Who said you could start?!
Gin: This isn't funny!
Gin: I can't let the shogun embarrass himself again!
Tojo: You won't escape!
Tojo: Lady! Are you watching my heroics?!
Gin: Hey! Stop screwing around!
Gin: You're crushing Sho-chan's crotch!
Gin: This is bad!
Gin: It's gonna snap! It's gonna snap!
Gin: Pull up! Pull up your underwear, Sho-chan!
Gin: Too much!
Gin: Didn't he lose already?!
Gin: If not, he's certainly lost the little dignity he had left!
Gin: Hey! Enough already! Stop it!
Seita: Let go, Shin-nii!
Seita: His underwear is mine!
Gin: What are these people doing?!
Shin: I won't let anyone, not even a friend, take this from me!
Gin: Why are you fighting to the death over a guy's underwear?!
Kondo: I won't lose!
Kondo: This is for Otae-san...
All: For the girls and their dreams of seeing male skin!
Gin: They don't give a damn about you!
Gin: They're busy playing beach volleyball!
Gin: Hell, he's not wearing that underwear anymore!
Gin: It's completely off!
Gin: It's not even underwear anymore!
Gin: Have some shame, okay?!
Gin: He walked over to buy a can of coffee!
Gin: He walked over with his underwear stretched
out so far that he's basically naked!
Shin: I-Impossible!
Kondo: We can't even make him budge!
All: Who is this man?!
Shogun: Shoguns have traditionally worn elastic tighty whities.
Shogun: I appreciate your help.
Shogun: The pool is a fun place.
Shogun: Thank you for providing me with a wonderful summer experience.
Shogun: May I come back next summer?
Zura: This lotion is great!
Zura: I feel like I can topple the Bakufu right now!
Zura: Okay! One more time, Elizabeth!
Greater Edo Pool
Gin: No more...
Next Episode The Pincers of a Crab Can Snip Through a Friendship
Shin: Next time:
Shin: The pincers of a crab can snip through a friendship!
05x16 - What Happens Twice Can Happen Thrice
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Japanese manga series where aliens have invaded and taken over feudal Tokyo, an unemployed samurai finds work however he can.
Japanese manga series where aliens have invaded and taken over feudal Tokyo, an unemployed samurai finds work however he can.