01x25 - No Partiality

[bunniefuu]

Robert Young...

and Jane Wyatt...

with Elinor Donahue,

Billy Gray, and
Lauren Chapin in...

Where are you going, Kathy?

Kathy!

Jim, have you noticed

how strangely she's
been acting lately?

Jim?

Jim... I put arsenic
in the orange juice,

cyanide on the cereal,

and I sprinkled ground
glass on the strawberries.

Margaret, you know
strawberries give me the hives.

Oh, Jim, put that paper down.

I want to talk to
you about Kathy.

Kathy? Why? Is
she ill or something?

Well, haven't you noticed
how grumpy she's been lately?

Oh, that. All kids go
through those things.

They get over them.

Dad!

Kathy's always been
such a happy child.

I keep wondering if we ought
to take her to the doctor's.

No, I don't think so. Dad!

Bud!

Do you have to shout like that?

Well, I don't know
any other way to shout.

Have you seen my catcher's mitt?

Bud, can't you see I'm
talking to your mother?

But I need it, Dad.

It's customary when
you interrupt someone

to say "I'm sorry," "Excuse
me," or "Pardon me."

I'm sorry, excuse me, pardon me.

Have you seen my catcher's mitt?

No. Gee, Dad, it was
practically brand-new.

Mother, I've looked everywhere,

and I can't find it.

Bud's catcher's mitt?

Heavens, no. What did you lose?

Oh, I just bought it yesterday.

It was so pretty:

brown, with white seagulls.

Definitely not a catcher's mitt.

Father, it was my
new bathing suit.

Oh? Did you try
lifting the price tag?

It might be under there.

Okay, Father.

If you kids would learn to put
your things where they belong,

this wouldn't
happen all the time.

Well, it couldn't
just walk away.

Couldn't it? Kathy!

Hello, everybody.

Give me my mitt!

Take off my bathing suit!

Kathy?

Come back here.

Come on, take it off!

Aw, turn blue!

Gimme my mitt!

You, too, turn blue!

Jim, you see what I mean?

Well, I still prefer
it to "Drop dead."

Mother, will you make
that child remove my suit?

No! I want it!

Betty and Bud get everything!

And all I ever get
are hand-me-downs!

Now, Kathy, you
know that isn't true.

Kitten, in a couple
of years, you'll get

a bathing suit
exactly like Betty's.

You mean in a couple of
years, I'll get Betty's bathing suit

when she don't want it anymore!

Hey, wait! My suit!

Princess.

But... my suit.

Don't worry. You'll get it.

But when?

See here, Kathy,

aren't you carrying
this just a little too far?

Hand-me-downs and
leftovers are all I ever get.

Now, look, Kitten, the
youngest in every family

always gets a few hand-me-downs.

You wouldn't want us to
throw away our usable things

still in good
condition, would you?

See these skates?

Bud gave me this one,
and Betty gave me the other.

They're beautiful, Kitten.

They're both left feet!

Now, don't tell me
you're gonna complain

about the blue
jeans Bud gave you.

Hold them up in
front of you, Daddy.

They're well-broken-in!

Higher.

I've seen you wear them.

Higher, Daddy.

These are Bud's?

Uh-huh.

Well, I knew he was
a growing boy, but...

this is ridiculous.

Margaret, it really
opened my eyes.

It's a wonder Kathy
hasn't complained before.

Well, that may be, but she
also has things of her own...

Everything she needs.

Yes, but...

this idea of inheriting
hand-me-downs

can get under a child's skin...

give 'em a complex.

Oh, I don't know. Uh...

Ohh. Jim, would you... would
you scratch my nose, please?

The point is, Kathy feels
she's getting a bad deal.

As a matter of fact, we
might be showing partiality

without realizing it. Mmhh!

Mmhh! So from now on, let's...

Bend over backwards...

Oh, no. Not you, Margaret.

Let's bend over backwards
and see that Kathy

is treated like the others.

Well, I'm not convinced that
she isn't, but I'll agree to anything

that gets her out
of this vile mood.

Well, it's worth a try.

I'll explain to Betty and Bud

that Kathy's getting a new deal.

Everything's gonna be

on an equal basis from now on.

I didn't ask you to do that.

No, but you will.

So your mother
and I have decided

that from now on,
Kathy will be treated

in terms of complete equality.

Well, hooray!

What does that mean, Daddy?

Well, that means
that every time you two

are granted a privilege,

Kathy will be granted
an equal privilege.

Is that a three-way deal, Dad?

Certainly.

If Betty goes to see,
uh, Caine Mutiny,

then Bud gets to
see Caine Mutiny,

and Kathy gets to
see Caine Mutiny.

Oh, boy! Dad!

If Betty gets a new book,

then Kathy gets a new book.

Dad!

If Betty gets... I'll get it!

If Betty gets the
phone, next time,

Kathy gets the phone.

Dad? What is it, Bud?

I saw Caine Mutiny.

You know, it's times
like this when I wish

I had met you before
I met your mother.

What did you say, dear?

Uh, nothing. Well,
it's all agreed.

Beginning as of now,

Kathy's to have equal rights.

Fine. Bud, will you take
this upstairs, please?

Sure. Bud gets a
basket of laundry...

Kathy gets a basket of laundry.

Hey, wait a minute!
I gotta meet Joe.

We're going to a show
this afternoon. See you later.

Daddy... this isn't what I mean.

Well, Kitten, you'll
find that new privileges

always bring new
responsibilities.

Mother. Guess
who just phoned me.

I haven't the slightest
idea. Who was it?

Oh, you don't know him.

Well, that clears that up.

He's a boy in my history class.

He's a big, handsome brute,
but he's the shyest thing.

Blushes every time I glance
at him, which is pretty often.

And at last, I think he's
finally interested in me.

Did he ask you for a date?

No. He asked if we
were supposed to study

the Reconstruction period
or the abolition of sl*very.

Say, he is getting
romantic, isn't he?

Father, you don't understand.

He knows what lesson we have.

He was just using that
as an excuse to call.

Oh.

Daddy?!

It's heavy!

Well, I'll help you carry it.

Mother, do you think
it'd be considered forward

if I'd invite him
over for dinner?

I don't think so.

I remember when I
first met your father.

I had to invite him to
dinner several times

to, uh, mmm,
get the ball rolling.

Come on, Daddy! Shh! Shh!

Well, did he think you
were being forward?

Daddy! Kathy,
I've gotta hear this.

I think the only thought
that crossed his mind

was it was a chance
for a free meal.

Well, then may I invite this
boy over for dinner tonight?

I don't see why not.

Hey, then I get to
invite a boy, too!

Well, wait, Kitten! Mommy!

I get to invite a boy, too!

Oh, no, you don't!

That just goes for books
and... and bicycle tires

and Caine Mutiny
and things like that.

Daddy said "equal rights"!

Didn't you, Daddy?
Didn't you? Huh?

Well, um... See there?!

Mother, this is impossible!

I told you how shy this boy is.

Why, he'll be
embarrassed enough as it is

without having Kathy and that...
that little monster Jimmy Woody

staring at us all evening.

I'm not inviting Jimmy Woody.

I know another boy lots better.

Well, whoever it is,
it'll be just as gruesome.

It wouldn't be so bad if it
wasn't my first date with him.

Well, maybe you could
go out somewhere with him.

Go out?

Father, a girl can invite
a boy over for dinner,

but she can't call him up
and ask him to take her out.

No.

And besides, you've
always told me

when I meet a new boy,

bring him home so
you can meet him.

Yeah, that's right.

Uh, Kathy... No.

Kathy, how would it be

if you invited someone
over tomorrow night?

No, sir. Tonight.

Daddy said "equal rights,"

and I believed him.

Father!

Well, actually, we
did promise Kathy

that from now on,
she'd have equal rights,

and I think we
should keep our word.

Mother!

Oh, I'm... I'm
afraid the decision's

already been made, dear.

Hasn't it, Jim?

An agreement is an agreement,

and you have to stick to it.

But listen to me, Kathy.

You can invite
your boyfriend over

only if you promise to leave
Betty and her friend alone.

Don't stare at them. Keep as
far away from 'em as possible.

Okay, if they'll promise
not to stare at us.

Ohh...

Come on, Daddy.

Let's phone him.

Wait a minute.

You're the one
that's inviting him.

Yeah, but I'm so bashful.

I get all kind of tongue-tied.

Besides, I don't
think he'd believe it

if I ask him.

Well, I don't know his number.

In fact, I don't even
know his name.

It's Howard.

Howard what?

Williams. And here's his number.

Say, this is more
serious than I thought.

I had better meet
this young man,

find out what
his intentions are.

Here, hold still. I'll
get the wrong number.

Oh, don't let him
know this is my idea!

Betty says play hard to get.

Hello. Mrs. Williams?

This is Mr. Anderson.

It seems that my
daughter and your son

have become very good friends,

and my daughter
thought... No, no, no, no!

Oh. That is, Mrs.
Anderson and I, uh, thought

it would be nice if Howard
had dinner with us tonight.

All right.

Can he?

She's checking.
She's asking him.

I hope! I hope! I hope! I hope!

Yes?

Oh. Well, that's fine.

And I'll take him
home afterwards

so he won't have to
walk home in the dark.

Oh? Well, whatever you say.

No, not at all. We're
glad to have him.

Good-bye.

He's coming! He's coming!

Are you two through fooling
around with the phone now

so I can call my date?

Funny. His mother didn't
seem the least concerned

how he got home.

I certainly don't
think a fourth grader

should be out by
himself after dark.

Fourth grader?
Howard's in high school.

He's the playground
supervisor at our school.

What?!

I invited a grown-up physical
education student to be your date?

Did you say... "Howard"?

Howard Williams?

Why? Do you know him?

Know him?

That's my date!

Huh?

Kathy, you can't have him!

I can't have nothing of my own!

Oh, now, Kathy.

Father! You're
not gonna let this...

child ruin my evening, are you?

Well, I wouldn't want
to ruin hers, either.

Then she can have him!

All to her fiendish little self!

Mother!

Furthermore, Howard
certainly thinks

he's coming over here
to see you, not Kathy.

It so happens I never
mentioned her name

on the phone once. All I
said was, "our daughter."

So I don't see what
you're worried about.

Now, Betty, you're gonna
go upstairs and get dressed.

How am I gonna hold a
conversation with Howard

with that little brat
hanging around,

climbing on him, annoying him?

Betty.

I thought you were
bigger than this.

Why don't you try to
get some fun out of it?

Actually, it is
kind of... amusing.

Amusing?!

Here I've been trying for weeks

to get Howard to do something

more than just blush at me,

and now that I've got
a chance, this happens.

It's embarrassing
and... and ridiculous.

You know, it is a
little ridiculous, dear.

Couldn't we just put our
foot down with Kathy?

We can't now, honey.

Oh, I'll admit it's ridiculous,

but we made a bargain with
Kathy, and this is the first test.

If we break faith with her now,

she'll never believe us again.

Father, I'm willing to
share anything else,

but not Howard.

Hey, take that off!

That's mine!

I don't have to.

You wore it yesterday,

and what Daddy says
means I can wear it today.

Oh, no, it doesn't.

That's my cashmere!

Kathy, you have nice
sweaters of your own.

Not like this one.

Uh...

Well... I'll tell
you, Kitten... No.

Oh, yes, she's gonna
be very amusing.

I can just see Howard
dying of laughter.

Well, Kitten, don't
you think this is a trifle,

uh, large on you?

Sloppy joes are fashionable.

That's not a sloppy joe!

It is on me!

Well, frankly, Kitten, it
looks a little silly on you.

It certainly does.

Now, you want to look
your best for Howard,

don't you? Yes.

All right, then.

You go upstairs and put
on your prettiest dress.

Well, don't encourage her!

Aw, turn blue!

No, no! Wait!

Howard won't like
either one of you

if you act like this.

Now, we're going to get along,

and we're gonna be good sports,

and we're going to share Howard.

Well, I'm not!

How you as parents can
make speeches about equality

and then turn around
and cater to that little...

shrimp while
trying to subject me

to humiliation and
embarrassment,

I don't know, and I don't care!

Just include me o-u-t!

Now, wait, Betty!

Let her go.

Good riddance.

Margaret, don't leave me.

Oh, I think you're handling
things quite admirably.

And as long as you have
things so well under control,

I'd better start
preparing something

for this happy little dinner.

I think I'll fix a lot of
nice, soft, fluffy dishes

so that no one will get
hurt when things begin to fly.

Have fun.

Hmm.

Fine helpmate.

Kathy.

A... A girl your size...

Daddy, if you're
working up to tell me

I ought to invite that
squirt Jimmy Woody,

I don't want to.

But you'd have
more fun with him,

someone your own age.

Look, Kathy, you and Jimmy
could have a wienie roast outside.

You love wienies.

Daddy, are you
trying to weasel out?

No! No, nothing like that.

Didn't you make me a promise?

Well... yes, but...

Don't you keep your word, Daddy?

Okay, Kitten. You win.

You're nice. Mmm!

Now hear this: Zero
hour will soon be here.

Synchronize your watches, men.

Well, I'll tell you one thing.

If you think Betty's
gonna stay upstairs

and let Kathy have
Howard all to herself,

you better reorganize
your thinking.

Oh, I'm sure she'll be down
in spite of what she says.

But I've found when
the chips are down,

the kids usually come
through in pretty good fashion.

In most cases, yes. But
if you expect sisterly love

to rise up and solve this
problem, you're forgetting one thing.

When a man comes in the door,

sisterly love flies
out the window.

Uh-oh.

Get ready for round one.

Ooh, ooh, ooh.
Slow down, Kitten.

You don't want to
appear too anxious.

Oh, but I am.

Shh.

Ahem.

Hi, Dad.

Oh, gosh, just him.

Since when did you get so polite

and start ringing the doorbell?

I just wanted to see who
answers it when I'm not home.

Very funny. Upstairs and wash.

Why?

Your sisters are having
a guest for dinner.

Who?

Howard Williams.

Oh, I know who he is.

Heck of a shot-putter.
Last year, he won...

And he's shrimp
boat's guest, too?

Yes, and you can't have him!

Well, I don't want him.

But wait till Tallulah
gets her hands on him.

Well, evidently,
Tallulah isn't making

an appearance
this evening after all.

Yeah, Daddy. She's up in
her room with the door shut.

Then it looks
like he's all yours.

Calm down.

Steady, Kitten. This is
no time to go to pieces.

Now. Ready?

Hello there.

You Howard Williams?

Yes. Fine, fine.

Come in, come in.
I'm Jim Anderson.

How do you do?

Oh. Here's a young lady

who's very anxious
to say hello to you.

Well, hello there, Kathy!

Howard.

How nice to see you.

I'm so glad you could come over.

I know it was
awfully late to call,

but it seemed like
such a lovely evening.

It's a shame to
waste a lovely evening

sitting around doing nothing.

Boy, Tallulah's on tonight. Shh.

How are you, Howard?

Um, um... fine.

I, uh, brought you some flowers.

Um... there.

Oh, they're lovely, Howard.

Uh, run put them in a
vase, will you, baby dear?

Thank you so much.

Well, let's see. I guess
you've met my father.

Mm-hmm. Yes.

And, Mother, may I present
to you Howard Williams.

How do you do?

How do you do, Howard?

And this is my
little brother Bud.

Howdy, Bud. Hi.

And, uh... I guess

you know my baby sister Kathy.

Let's go in where
it's more comfortable.

Say, did you finish
that history assignment?

I wish you'd help me with it.

You know where
they're talking about

the Reconstruction
period after the Civil w*r?

Oh, don't worry, dear.

Your turn will come.

You bet it will.

Well, who would
they try to reconstruct?

The North or the South?

Well, um, I think
they were, uh...

Well, I just read the part

where they started
expanding the railroads.

I thought that
was interesting...

about the railroads.

Uh, Howard, uh... Kathy tells me

that you and she are, uh...

pretty good pals
on the playground.

Oh, yes, sir. We get along fine.

She's okay.

Hello, Howard.

Hello, Kathy.

Uh, did Kathy tell you
about her playhouse?

She built it all by herself.

I think she, uh, wants
to show it to you.

Yeah, I'd like to see it.

Oh, here's the part you
were asking about, Howard.

It doesn't tell much, though.

Janie Little has a
much better book on it.

Why don't we walk
over and get it?

I'm sure she'd let us borrow it.

Well, uh, how about
the... Oh, dinner?

That won't be ready
for a little while yet.

Father, will you excuse us?

Oh, Kitten, don't cry.

Why didn't you stop her?

Why didn't you help me?

It's all your fault.

Wait right there, Howard.

It'll just take me a
second to get a wrap.

Well.

Are you proud of yourself?

Now I really know
what it means to take

candy from a baby.

Oh... please don't cry, Kathy.

Go away!

Kathy, I don't want to hurt you.

Well, try to see
my side of this.

Why do you have to take him?

You can get any boy you want.

You're prettier than
I am... and bigger...

and everything!

Aw, heck, Kathy, don't cry.

You make me feel bad, too.

I just sort of thought we
could play a little game.

I... I had no idea it
meant this much to you.

Go away!

Look, I don't blame you.

I've been a real drip.

I'm sorry, Kathy. Honest, I am.

Look, sweetie.

You dry your eyes,

and then you can come with us.

What for? With you around,

he won't even look at me.

Besides... I got him first.

Well...

if it'll make you happy...

you... you can have
him... all to yourself.

You'll just take him away again.

No, I won't. Honest.

Cross your heart?

Cross my heart.

Now, come on. Smile.

He won't like you
if you don't smile.

There, that's better.

Now, hurry. He's out in front,

and... I think he wants
to see your playhouse.

Go on.

Oh, and you'd better tell him

that I have a headache.

Tell him you're
pinch-hitting for me.

Um, now what do I do?

Well, you take
your fingers and...

This isn't much fun, is it?

Well, it... it... it's okay.

How bad of a headache
does she have?

It hit her awful
fast, didn't it?

I guess so.

Do you want to go out and
see the playhouse again?

Isn't she even coming
down for dinner?

I hope not.

Do you want to go
out and play cowboys?

Why don't you go up
and see how she is?

She's all right.
I mean... Kathy!

Kathy!

Come out and play!

Bang!

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Howard... have you noticed

how short and squatty I am?

And I got a ski
nose and pigtails!

Well, uh, I think
you look pretty.

Don't let looks fool you.

Um... well, to be honest,

I'm kind of a brat.

Kathy!

Um... Howard...

don't you think
you'd have more fun

with somebody your own age?

Well... uh, but what
about her headache?

She gets over 'em awful fast.

'Scuse me.

Betty!

Kathy!

Be right out, Jimmy.

I think.

Betty?!

What do you want?

See you later, Howard!

Hey, Jimmy!

Hi.

Hi.

I always knew these
situations work themselves out.

They might not have if
Jimmy Woody hadn't appeared.

He couldn't have
timed it better.

Our only problem
now is to get Kathy

back in the house
in time for dinner.

Oh, didn't you know?
She and Woody

are having a
wienie roast outside.

They are? But we
don't have any wienies.

Well, uh, Jimmy just happened

to have some, uh, with him.

Daddy!

We're ready for you to start

the fire for us.

Oh, fine, fine. Come along.

Oh, say, Mr. Anderson,
here's your change.

Okay, let's go.

The wienies didn't cost as much

as you thought they would.

Uh, yeah. Well,
let's get out there.

Sure was nice of
you to invite me over.

Um...

Mm-hmm.

He just happened
to have some wienies

with him, eh?

Well... Well, I'll
say one thing:

Kathy's getting
brand-new wienies.

They're not hand-me-downs.