Murphy:
okay, maggie.
Give it to me straight.
I'm a problem pregnancy, right?
This kind of nausea
can't be normal
Not to mention the headache.
This isn't pregnancy.
This is how you feel
after a week
at the baghdad hilton.
I need a specialist.
You know who you need?
A psychiatrist.
Murphy,this
is what pregnancy is.
We all go through it.
When I was pregnant
with eric
I was on my knees so much
I kept a pair of shin guards
in the bathroom.
If you think
the headaches are bad now
Wait until
your -year-old says
He's dropping out
of school
To join a band
called dead leonard.
Now, lie down.
I need to do
one more test.
Oh, boy, another test.
Personally, I wish
I were a protozoa
Going about my business
And then every once in a while,
I'd stop, divide in half
And then go back
to what I was doing.
Yeah, but protozoa
don't get to hear
Their baby's heartbeat.
(Rhythmic whooshing)
Oh, my god.
That's it?
That's her?
I don't believe it.
Why does she sound
like that whoosh-whoosh?
Why isn't it going
ba-boom, ba-boom?
Murphy, at weeks
The heart is the size
of a sunflower seed.
If it were big enough
to go ba-boom ba-boom
This kid's head
Would be sticking
out of your throat.
She sounds almost feisty,
doesn't she?
Strong, confident...
She's got rhythm too.
Definitely my kid.
Yep, the latest in a long line
Of brown women
with good calves
And an intense hatred
of double-knit slacks.
Okay, I think
I've heard enough.
Everything seems fine
But I want to send you
for one more test.
Oh, great.
Another chance for a stranger
To go spelunking
in my private parts.
What is it this time?
A chorionic villi sampling,
or c.v.s.
Prescribe it for any woman
who's a high-risk pregnancy.
Since you're over ,
that's you.
This test will let us know
If there are any genetic
abnormalities
And confirm
the sex of the child.
It's not painful
And there are no big needles
involved.
Yeah, sure, and afterwards
The tooth fairy validates
my parking, right?
All the doctor does
is take a thin, long tube
And send it up
that same scenic highway
The baby's father took.
Well, I hope
it buys me dinner first
Because I sure didn't get
anything out of this
The last time.
My nurse will set up
the appointment
With the doctor who's going
to handle the procedure
And since some women
experience minor discomfort
I want someone to drive you
and take you home.
Maggie, I have hiked
Through miles
of columbian jungle
With p.m.s. So bad
the leopards fled in terror.
Trust me.
Handling a car
with minor discomfort
Is not a problem.
Sorry, but this baby
Is still
at a very fragile stage.
You get someone
to drive you.
I promise
I'll get someone to drive me.
I promise I'll rest.
Anything else?
No.
Oh, wait a minute.
Where's my watch?
Just kidding!
Hi.
Where have you been?
I've got to be
at the doctor's
In minutes.
I'm sorry.
I know how important
this c.v.s. Test is.
I stopped to get you
something for luck.
I figured a stuffed animal
might be too sentimental.
I wanted something
for a boy or a girl.
They're collector's items.
Each clock is numbered.
It was very expensive,
though in this light
It looks like crap.
I hate it.
Could we go, frank?
It's almost : .
I'll get you there
in plenty of time.
I wonder if I drank
enough water.
They say drink four glasses
for this test
But what size glass?
Five ounce, ten ounce,
flintstones jelly glass?
Why do they still
write prescriptions in latin?
When have you seen a monk
behind a pharmacy counter?
Murph, will you relax?
The test will go fine.
You've got nothing
to worry about.
I'm not worried.
What makes you think
I'm worried.
I have no history
of genetic problems in my family
Except cousin larry
who still believes
Jimmy swaggart was praying
with that hooker.
I'm glad you
feel that way.
It's just that you didn't
want anyone to know...
I didn't want it broadcast
all over the newsroom.
This pregnancy
is a very personal thing
And I'd be more comfortable
keeping it that way.
Maybe I'd better get
more water.
Frank, great news.
We just got a call
from your informant
On the weapons dealer story.
He's ready to talk.
Oh, man, that's fantastic!
I have been working
on this guy for weeks.
He'll meet you
at the water fountain
In rock creek park.
But you better get moving
he says he'll only wait
a half an hour.
He wants to meet now?
Uh... I can't do it.
You're going to have
to call him back
And reschedule.
Reschedule?
Frank, the man's an informant,
not a dentist.
They don't leave
phone numbers.
How am I supposed to
get ahold of him?
Look in the yellow pages
under "spill your guts?"
Go ahead.
I can handle this.
Handle what?
No, you can't.
You're supposed to have
someone take you.
Take you where?
To buy new tires.
I'll just get
what I got last time--
Four round rubber ones.
Bye.
Murph!
You are not going alone.
Murphy's got to go
to the gynecologist for a test
It's very important
and she needs someone
to take her
She can't drive herself
but she didn't want everyone
to know about it.
Oh.
Oh. I see.
It was something personal,
and you felt more comfortable
Sharing it with frank
than with me.
I won't pretend it doesn't hurt
But my people
are used to pain.
We've dealt
with it for centuries.
Had to open your mouth,
didn't you?
You were right
To ask frank.
Our sense of direction
is terrible.
We were wandering though
the desert for years
And you probably need
to get there today.
Miles, would you please
drive me to the doctor?
I can't. I've got a big network
meeting upstairs in ten minutes.
Then what the hell
was that about?
I forgot the meeting until
I was halfway through and
by then I couldn't stop.
Corky!
Corky can do it.
Do what?
Drive murphy
to the gynecologist
For an important test.
Okay, that's it.
I'm out of here.
Oh, murphy,
I wish I could
But will's got a meeting
with a book publisher in new york
And I promised
I'd drive him to the airport.
There's this special way
I say good-bye to him.
It wouldn't be the same
from a cab driver.
How do you tip
for something like that?
It's no problem.
I can go by myself.
Oh, no, you can't.
Somebody should be with you.
Everyone, murphy needs
a ride to the gynecologist
For a very important test!
Who can take her?
(Clamoring)
Oh, my god.
Phil!
Phil!
Hey, there.
I'd love to chat
But I got to get this food
to some corporate powwow
on the th floor.
Phil, I'll give you $
If you drive murphy
to the gynecologist.
Okay! We have a bid of $
To drive a pregnant lady
to the gynecologist.
Do I hear two?
I'd be happy to
take you, murphy
If you don't mind coming
on a few deliveries.
You might have to sit
on a tub of coleslaw.
Okay, that's it.
I'll take a cab.
I'm going to the
doctor's by myself.
Oh, what's this?
Someone having a party
without me?
Jim, are you busy?
Oh, god, I'm in hell.
That's what this is. Hell.
Just having a : lunch
with david brinkley. Why?
Great. You're taking murphy
to the gynecologist.
The what?!
Oh, no. I don't think
I can do that.
Everyone else is busy.
You have to.
I most certainly do not.
I've been married
for years
And I haven't been to
the gynocologist once.
I don't intend to start now.
For heaven's sake.
We're asking you
to take her there
Not perform a pelvic exam!
Come on! The egg
salad's starting to turn!
Get your hands off
my petit fours!
Murphy:
doors are closing,
let's go.
I'm a terrible driver.
I'm under the influence
of medication.
I've had three sucrets
this morning.
Well here we are,
safe and sound.
Take all the time you need.
I'll be parked
next to the pay phone
in the garage
Here's the number
It's degrees down there.
Now just sit down
And read
a magazine.
I'll be out in a while?
Hi, I'm murphy brown,
and I have an : appointment
With dr. Chapin.
Oh, hi, ms. Brown!
Doctor's running
a just little late
So if you could just have a seat
We'll be with you
as soon as we can.
'Kay?
Just how late
is a little late, becky?
Oh, not much.
Minutes, maybe .
That's all.
You just sit down and relax.
We'll call you.
'Kay?
I have had six gallons of water
in the last half hour.
I am physically incapable
Of sitting down and relaxing.
I am bursting to see the doctor
And I want to see her now.
'Kay?
I'm sorry, ms. Brown.
But there are other
people ahead of you.
Becky, look at me.
Hoover dam isn't as full as I am.
If you don't get me in there soon,
There's no telling how many
lives could be lost.
Maybe I should
go find somebody.
That's right.
Find somebody. Fast.
Oh, my.
Ooh, ow!
I tried. I really did.
But I'm afraid
you're going
To have to wait.
Oh, sure.
I bet he's not
even in there, is he?
He's at the mercedes dealership
Trying to get the leather package
at cost. Right, becky?
No, he's here.
I swear it.
He's inside mrs. Anderson
right now.
Dear lord.
Is there another doctor's office nearby
with a waiting room I could use?
Perhaps a nice podiatrist?
Jim, don't worry.
I'll handle this.
Everyone, could I have
your attention, please?
I'm murphy brown.
And in exactly two hours
I will be conducting
an important telephone interview
With israeli prime minister shamir.
Now, I can't tell you
everything about it,
But it is possible
That what transpires
between us
Could help support a real
and lasting peace
In the middle east.
So unless someone else
has something more
important on the fire
I'd like to go in next.
All right?
No, it is not all right.
I'm elandreaux.
And in an hour
and a half
I have to pick up my twins
and six other kids
At the criterion cineplex.
I have to drive three of
the kids to ballet class.
Two to swimming class
and one to the orthodontist.
The I have to go home,
clean the house,
Get dinner started
go back and pick these kids up
Drop them off at their homes,
pick my mother up
And be back in time
to search fruitlessly
through my wardrobe
For something that will not
make me look like a volkswagen bus
When my husband comes home.
So you tell mr. Shamir,
he'll have to wait!
Ms. Brown, good morning.
I'm doctor chapin.
We're going to start
with the ultrasound
and then the c.v.s.
Lie back.
Wait a minute.
No "nice to meet you"?
No "sorry for the delay"?
We're about to get
fairly intimate here.
I wouldn't mind
a little small talk.
Of course, of course.
My apologies.
It's been a busy morning.
So, uh, that bart simpson,
quite a card?
Maybe we'd better move on
to the exam.
All right.
How are you feeling?
Like I swallowed the penguin pool
at the national zoo.
There's a reason for
drinking the water.
It provides an acoustical window
so that the sound waves have
something to resonate ...
So it's easier to see the baby.
I know, maria shriver
explained it to me.
Oh, yes, maria shriver.
An absolutely textbook
set of ovaries.
. Cm across.
Yeah, that arnold sure
knows how to pick 'em.
The placenta location
is posterior
Gestational sac
approximately cm.
Well, this is fascinating.
Absolutely fascinating.
What?
What do you see?
If I didn't know better
I'd swear you were walking
around with faith daniels' uterus.
Where do you see this?
I can't make out a thing.
Doreen, here.
This is what I'm talking about.
Right here.
You see this curve
right above the fetus?
Oh, my god.
That's my daughter!
That's my daughter!
(Screaming):
jim!
Jim, come in here!
Jim!
Ms. Brown,
I know you're excited
But try to keep still.
Murphy, are you all right?
Oh, good lord.
Ahh!
Is everything all right?
Jim, get over here.
No.
Come on, jim.
I want you
to see this.
Look at that.
Look at that.
That's my kid.
Do you believe it?
Is that it there?
Yeah.
Isn't it incredible.
Look at that.
She's got my nose.
Actually, that's a kneecap.
Okay, so she's got my kneecap.
How does she look?
Is she okay?
Well, there are the arms
And the legs.
And right there, you can see
the thin division between
the two hemispheres of the brain
Jim, she's got a brain.
What would that little
fluttering object be?
The heart.
The heart.
Yes, and along with everything else
It's working just
the way we want it to.
Now, if you wouldn't
mind waiting outside, mr. Dial
We're about to move on to the c.v.s.
Outside? Absolutely not.
As much as it surprises me,
I find this moment profoundly moving.
This is life.
Pure and perfect and
full of possibilities.
I wouldn't miss this for anything.
Now look, jim,
I know you're excited
But we're about to get pretty
up close and personal here.
Now think about it.
You have a hard time
even looking into my purse.
It would mean so much to me
to be able to share this with you.
While you're deciding,
ms. Brown why don't you
put your feet in the stirrups
And I will begin
to manipulate your uterus.
Yes, you do that, sir.
And while you are, I'm going to
run across the street
And get us each a
nice bowl of soup
Wouldn't that be lovely?
I will be right back,
unless there's a line.
Would anyone here
like some soup?
Goo.
Goo.
Well, that
seems to work.
Eldin, did they call?
Did they?
Yes, they did.
But I told them
But I told them you'd already
picked a long distance phone company.
No, eldin, not them.
Dr. Chapin's office.
I had that test two days ago
And they said they'd send the
test results by the end of today.
Call it
woman's intuition
But I know
there's something wrong.
Otherwise, they would have called.
May I remind you that
if your intuition was as accurate
as you think it is
Clarence thomas would now
be working in a burger king.
Oh, god.
What was I thinking?
I'm too old for this.
I was just asking for trouble.
All right, look.
Let's just calm down.
I think you're blowing this
whole age thing out of proportion.
Plenty of women have
kids at your age.
Do you know any?
Well...
I think there was one in the bible.
Oh, god, eldin.
I know that's them.
I can't do it, eldin.
I can't pick it up.
All right, look.
Do you really want to go through
another night of not knowing.
You're right.
You pick it up.
All right.
I will pick it up.
Because I know that
everything is going to be fine.
What are you doing?
I'm getting ready to pick it up.
Pick it up.
Hello?
Yes, she's here.
But she's indisposed
at the moment.
And would like for me to
Get the information.
(Laughs)
no, I'm not the father.
Not in the physical sense
But I do plan to be the
child's spiritual guide
And teach it to bowl.
So what's the deal?
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
You're sure?
Okay. Okay,
I'll tell her.
Thank you.
You can stop worrying.
Everything is fine.
(No audio)
You know, I kept telling
everybody I wasn't worried
That there was just
a five percent chance
That something could
go wrong
But when you've seen that
tiny heart beating, eldin
A five percent chance
Is the scariest thing
you've ever had to face.
But she's all right.
She's really all right.
Yeah.
Except, she's a he.
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about
the fruit of your loins.
The apple of your eye.
The heir to the throne.
It's a boy.
She is not!
Now, you better stop
sending that message
Or I see a huge therapy bill
in this kid's future.
I don't believe it.
I was sure it was a girl.
It was the one thing
I had no doubt about.
I was going to have a daughter.
I was going to teach her
that being a woman
Didn't mean that you were
second class.
That she could do anything
she wanted
And be judged solely
on her ability.
And then I was going
to take her shopping
For donna karen separates.
This is not what I planned.
It's not what I planned at all.
Morning, guys.
Sorry, I'm late.
Murph, is everything
all right?
Look, we're not prying
or anything
So if you don't want to
tell us, we understand.
Don't say that, frank!
We're going crazy here!
Guys, guys, back off.
It's okay, frank.
I want you all to know.
Everything's fine.
As a matter of fact,
feast your eyes
on the first ultrasound
Of a completely healthy,
perfect normal
Baby boy.
What?
Oh, my god.
Oh, murphy, you must
be in such a state of shock.
I know how much you had
your heart set on a little girl.
Someone, you thought you'd raise
to be just like you
Oh, look!
There's his little woo-woo!
Guys, I've got to be honest with you.
I didn't see a wink
last night.
On the one hand, I was so relieved
my kid was healthy
But on the other hand,
as corky so scientifically pointed out,
My baby has a woo-woo.
What the hell am I supposed
to do with a boy?
I don't know anything
about them.
Except they like to make
root beer come out their noses
And they never ask
tall girls to dance.
Maybe I'm making too
much out of this.
I mean, boy?
Girl?
Maybe it doesn't really matter.
So if you'll excuse me,
I'm just going to go
Cancel my son's subscription
to the nancy drew library.
So, murph
I've got this extra ticket
to the bulls game
And I was wondering
if maybe you and your son
would like to come along.
Frank, you've got to
promise me something
You got to promise me
you'll be there
When my son brings home
a girl I hate.
You've got to promise
to stop me from
saying the wrong thing
Causing him to leave home and
join a band called dead leonard.
What?
Murphy, what are you talking about?
Where did you
get this stuff, murph?
Now, come on.
You know you're
going to be great at this.
So, it's a challenge.
Have you ever backed down
from a challenge before?
You know I'm right.
Right?
Okay.
I guess, deep down,
I always wanted a kid
I could show
a knuckle curve
Someone I could teach
The finer points of
seven card high low
And teach to balance
the carburetors on a classic mg.
Well...
I guess I'm just going to have
To do it with a boy.