..
♪♪ Baby, where
did our love go? ♪♪
♪♪ Ooh, don't you want me? ♪♪
♪♪ Don't you want
me no more? ♪♪
I just want all of you
to know how bad I feel.
For the first time
You allowed me
lay on your team
And what happens?
I'm the only one
who got a hit!
You were pathetic.
Because of you,
we were humiliated
by minutes.
Stop calling it a hit!
Morley Safer
gave you a few easy pitches
Just because he wanted
watch you run
to first base in a T-shirt.
Let's see.
I, a woman,
had one hit.
And you, a man,
struck out twice
And hit a high ball
to the short man.
A pop fly
to the shortstop.
Well, there's no use
dwelling on it.
I'm heading home.
Doris is a such godsend
on these dark days.
She always has my favorite
dinner waiting for me--
Lamb chops, mashed potatoes,
mint jelly.
She calls it "loser food."
Maybe we'll
go out tonight.
Corky:
I'll walk out
with you.
Will's waiting
for me at home.
I can hardly wait to tell him
how I picked somebody up
at second base.
Picked somebody off.
off!
Well, Murph,
it's just us again.
How would you like
to be my honorary loved
one and go split a pizza?
I thought you'd never ask.
just let me go get my bag.
Check.
(Gasps)
Murph, what's wrong?
What is that?
It's a book jacket.
The Electric Kool Aid
Acid Test by Tom Wolf.
Frank, that's the book
I gave Jake Lowenstein
On August , .
The day we were married.
Frank, this means something.
I think he's here.
Now, Murph, it could mean
any number of things.
Maybe you upset somebody
at the book-of-the-month club.
He's here.
I haven't seen him for years
But I always know
when he's back.
Murphy.
Frank, it's him.
Go in there and get my bag.
and then, let's go have pizza...
in Detroit.
Murphy, your ex-husband
is in your office.
You can't just run off.
I don't know.
It seems like
the right thing to do.
Let's give it a shot.
Murphy, look
I know you weren't expecting me.
I should have called.
It just seemed like
the predictable thing and...
I'm sorry,
I just lost my train of thought.
You look incredible.
I do?
Murph.
Murph?
Oh! What? I'm sorry.
Do you two know
each other?
Jake Lowenstein,
Frank Fontana.
Yeah, hi.
I think we met last
time I was here.
Yes, that's right.
We did.
Well, Jake, uh...
I'd love to hang around
And chew the fat,
But Murphy and I
have plans for dinner.
That's something
we do a lot.
Eat together.
I often pay.
Oh.
I have something really important
to talk to you about
Really stupid of me
to show up like this, assuming
you had the night free.
I'm an idiot,
and you are still
The most beautiful
woman in the world.
I hope you're taking
Good care of her, frank.
I think you can
read it on her face.
Frank,
what are you doing?
I have no idea.
I don't know.
Frank, maybe I should stay here.
No problem.
Actually, I've been thinking
that it might be healthy
For us to spend
a some time apart.
Oh, God.
I'm doing it again!
The last I heard of you
You were in the Middle East
working with the Kuwaiti resistance.
Well, old ' s radicals
die hard, I guess,
You look good.
Same height,
same hair.
Eyes, two.
Still crinkling, when you smile,
in the way
That makes the hair
on my neck stand up...
Start talking any time,
before I really embarrass myself.
Okay, I will.
Murphy, I'm moving
to Washington.
What?
For the last years
I've been underground,
trying to change the world
from the outside.
Well, the old life's
getting harder.
This last year,
I threw my knee out
running from
federales in Mexico.
And my back went out.
I was going under
some barbed wire
on my derrière.
For all that, the planet's
not getting any better.
So now, I'm going
to try it your way.
What do you mean?
Well, I'm going to try
and work within the system.
I'm going to organize lobbies
And influence people on the hill.
And eventually,
run for an office myself.
Wow. That's a
pretty big change
For a guy who can fit
everything he owns
Into the trunk
of a Volkswagen Beetle.
Murphy,
There's
another reason I'm here.
I think about you
all the time.
How it could
have been for us.
We always wanted
the same things in life.
We just had different
ways of getting them.
But not anymore.
I'm on your side
of the fence.
I'm in your backyard.
I want to get married again.
Married again?
Oh, gee. I hate to say this
but not five minutes ago,
Fabian called and
proposed to me, too.
I really hate that.
Murphy, I serious
about this.
I want us to live together and
Walk hand in hand
in a protest march together
And read passages from
the Iran Contra transcripts
to each other
And I want us to make love
to each other,
The kind other people
just dream about --
Every day.
It was meant to be, Murphy.
I think you know that.
Oh, God. Your eyes.
They're crinkling.
(Strikes match)
Surprise.
That is the understatement
of the year.
Jake,
This is a
A phone company commercial.
I knew you were working
hard all week.
So I just wanted to do something
to make it better.
You are amazing.
And how did you afford all this
on a revolutionary's salary?
Well, I just dipped into
my border guard bribe
fund for the flowers,
And I already had
the tux, from the time
I crashed the opening
of the Nixon library.
Now, I want you just
to come over here.
Relax, and let everything
Except me, you and
this room drift away.
Jake
This whole week with you
has been incredible.
I don't know how
it could get any better.
I'll show you.
Two corn dogs
and a candy apple.
Oh, Jake.
Our wedding dinner.
This is so great.
And did I mention,
You look really
good in that tux.
Really, really,
good.
(Violin)
Oh, my God.
Murphy, Murphy,
I know I've asked you this
everyday, for the last seven days.
But I want you
to hear me this time.
Marry me, Murphy.
It can be an
incredible adventure.
The last frontier
For two people
who have done it all.
I was going to make
some wise-guy remark--
The kind that keeps you
from exposing your real feelings
But for once, I can't think of one.
Jake, could it be that we finally
got our timing right?
(Doorbell)
Oh, no.
Did I just say something
about timing?
Don't forget where
we left off.
Oh, and sir, if you know
anything by The Supremes,
I'd like you to play
that when I get back.
Hello. Are you
the lady of the house?
Jerry?
Oh, no.
I'm Willy the Whale.
And this Japanese fleet's
trying to k*ll me.
I need to run some kind of
halfway house for my kind.
So what do you say
you save me, baby?
Did I mention
I'm a sperm whale?
Jerry, what are
you doing here?
I thought you were in L.A.
I was.
But, as you so
accurately predicted,
any show that goes
up against Carson
gets about six months to live.
I got the ax yesterday.
Oh.
Jerry, I'm really sorry.
No, no love lost, believe me.
I really hated L.A.
Everybody's full of crap.
And now, with the drought,
you can only flush
your toilet once a day.
So, Brown,
what's in the refrigerator?
All I've had to eat today
is six pounds of krill
and a Norwegian fisherman.
Albert?
Albert, Albert, Albert.
I think you can go now, thanks.
Thanks a lot.
Well, obviously I'm
interrupting something here.
Hi.
I'm Jake Lowenstein.
Jake and I were married once.
I'm Jerry Gold.
Jerry and I had
an affair recently.
Jerry, you might as well
know what's going on.
Jake just proposed to me.
And actually,
I'm thinking about it.
Oh, well that's a great
welcome back.
How can you be
thinking about it?
We have a relationship.
A relationship?
Jerry, you've been
gone for six months
and haven't called me once.
So? What's your
idea of a relationship?
It's not like we were
completely out of touch.
I sent you a post card.
And that really
meant something.
Oh, nice meaning.
A picture of you
and two women
in string bikinis
on Venice Beach.
It was a joke.
I wanted to
make you laugh.
So, is this what
you're going for now?
The candles?
The flowers?
The guy in a tuxedo?
With cowboy boots?
What are you?
The maitre d' in a
Roy Rogers restaurant?
Yeah, well,
sorry you don't approve,
but not everybody buys
their clothes at Sea World.
Now what is that?!
Is that some
kind of insult?
Guys, guys,
come on.
Let's not get into
a fight over me.
Both: Okay.
Murphy.
I can see that you and Jerry
have some things to clear up
so I'm going to let you do that
and get out of your way.
But Jake, what
about all your plans?
No, no, no.
It's okay, Murphy.
It's just one night
out of another years.
I'm very secure about this.
I'll see you tomorrow.
I'm very secure about this?
Hey, I could have left.
I'm secure.
But I'm not stupid.
Jerry, sit.
That's easy
for you to say.
I'd take the suit off
but I'm not wearing
anything underneath.
I had plans, too, you know.
Come on, Jerry.
Six months and
not even a phone call.
It really hurt.
I cared about you.
Gee, Brown,
I wanted to call.
I thought about every
one of those days
I was away from you.
But we both knew
a long-distance relationship
wouldn't work.
But hey,
I'm back now.
We can just pick up
where we left off.
Jerry, I'm years old
and have a marriage
proposal in front of me.
Come on, Brown.
You're not buying into
that fantasy, are you?
Look, marriage is
all about rules.
And you and I
both hate rules.
What I'm offering you
is something better.
A relationship.
M-m-monogamous.
Okay, so that word doesn't
exactly roll off my tongue.
But I think we're
great together.
And I think you
feel the same way.
Always did have a hard
time arguing with you, Jer.
That's all I
wanted to hear.
Well,
I'm going to
go home now
and beach myself.
You think it's hard
walking in this thing,
You should have seen me
driving over here.
Oh, and Brown, would you
blow out these candles
before someone comes in
and makes a novena?
Jerry?
Yeah?
Is that a harpoon
in your pocket
or are you just
glad to see me?
All right, all right,
that's it.
She's a half hour late.
She probably missed her exit
off the beltway again.
I found her,
Mr. Silverberg.
She was hiding down
in the janitor's stock room.
watching
The Young and the Restless.
Cricket's friend Nina
just shot her husband.
Thanks, Scottie.
I'll take her.
Would you just please
take your seat, Murphy.
We have a lot of work to do.
All right, to review
our schedule.
Jim will be supervising our update
on German reunification.
Corky has her
piece on Mary Kay.
Frank, you're going to be covering
the LAPD scandal.
And Murphy, you have
a choice to make
Either go with the
John Majors interview
or the story on
the Gulf w*r debt.
What do I look like,
a fortune teller?
Why is always up to me
to decide these things?
Why don't you ask Jim?
Look at him.
He's not doing anything.
He's just sitting there,
dunking his tea bag
over and over.
Why is he doing that?
Why?
Why are you doing that, Jim?
Oh for Heaven's sake, Murphy.
Why can't you handle your
romantic problems like a man?
Do some push-ups.
Take a cold shower.
Buy a new set of
socket wrenches.
This has been a disaster.
Two men I care about
are forcing me to
choose between them.
Why doesn't life come
with an instruction manual?
Murphy,
it's not as
complicated as it sounds.
As long as you approach
the situation systematically.
Now, we need to make a chart.
You list both Jerry and
Jake's pros and cons.
and that's how you decide.
A chart?
Yes, it's so simple, yet so right.
Help me here, guys.
It's hard to be objective.
All right,
item number one.
Both men are Jewish
so there's good chance
neither one will be a drinker.
Good.
Miles, your turn.
I'm not getting
involved in this.
I hate Jerry.
And I don't know Jake.
Isn't there some write-in
candidate we could put down there?
What about Stan in Legal?
He's a fun guy.
Will you work with
me, please, Miles.
Now, organize your thoughts,
and I'll get back to you.
Jim, talk to me.
I don't know.
I like that Stan idea.
And I hear he's an
excellent Bridge player.
Doesn't that sound nice?
You, me, Stan, Doris.
Will you please stop it?
Now let's get serious here.
Things I like about Jerry.
He challenges me.
Although, I have more
in common with Jake.
Who wants to get married,
unlike Jerry,
who would be happy with
just dating exclusively.
Which is a much less
scary idea to me.
Oh, God. This is impossible.
I'm not getting anywhere.
I've got to tell you, Murphy.
I hate this whole idea.
Who says you have to be
with either one of these guys.
Look, Frank,
I've been alone for a long time.
Longer then I ever
thought I would be.
And it's been fine.
But sometimes, I think
wouldn't it be nice
to do something with
all the love I've been
saving up for the last years?
Oh, God help me.
I'm turning into Barry Manilow.
What about me, Murphy?
Did you ever stop
to think about that?
I thought we made a deal
to grow old together.
What am I supposed to do
when I'm and alone?
I'll have to wear one of those
little beepers they advertise on TV.
So if I fall down, some
stranger at a switchboard
call a guy to come
over and pick me up.
Nice life. Thanks a lot.
You are not helping, Frank.
Not helping at all.
Maybe today, the picture
will become a little clearer.
I supposed to have lunch with Jerry.
Or is it Jake?
My head hurts.
Miles, can I be excused?
I have to go lie down for a while.
Hey there, Murphy.
Well, Phil, I've really
done it this time.
I made a lunch date with
either Jake or Jerry
and I can't remember
which one.
I've never experienced
anything like this.
I could really use
some advice.
Aw, hell, Murphy.
I don't know.
Every time Jerry
comes in
he scares the waitresses.
And I think Jake is
trying to unionize
my busboys.
Why don't you get yourself
a nice cat?
They're affectionate
and they clean up after themselves.
Jake.
My lunch date.
I really sorry I'm late.
I was organizing a lobby
against offshore oil drilling.
And I guess I lost
track of the time.
It's no problem,
no problem at all.
Why don't we just sit down.
Great. Here, let me.
Oh, no.
What? What's wrong?
Jerry.
Murphy.
Jerry.
Jake.
Geez.
Well, excuse me for asking
but what is he doing here?
Murphy and I have a lunch date.
What are you doing here?
Murphy and I have a lunch date.
Guys, I'm really sorry.
This is all my fault.
I've been a little distracted
lately.
But who says
this has to be bad?
Sit down, guys.
Maybe we should
just look at this
As an opportunity--
An opportunity
to exchange ideas
And, who knows
Maybe even share
a laugh or two.
(Laughs)
Murphy, I don't really get it.
What do you see in this guy?
He supports
the death penalty.
He's against
g*n control.
And anybody takes a
match to that jacket,
we're looking at
another three-mile island.
Oh, great. This is exactly how
I want to spend my afternoon
listening to Larry the Liberal
Tell us how he lived
with the Indians
And they gave him the name
"dances with head up his butt."
Look, this hasn't been
easy for me, you know.
I'd appreciate it, if you could
just put your differences aside
And show some consideration
for my feelings?
I'm sorry, Murphy.
I'm trying to be patient
But I'm wearing my heart
on my sleeve.
I asked you to marry me.
That's not something I do everyday.
I think I deserve an answer.
Oh, Geez, this guy
is so transparent.
Of course he wants to marry you.
Why? Community property.
He gets all your money,
and what do you get?
An old sleeping bag
and a Lovin' Spoonful album.
All right, I've about had it
with you, jerk.
What are you
going to do--
Bludgeon me with an old bong?
All right, you want
to play dirty?
Big man! big man!
I've got your number
and it's zero!
Stop it!
Stop it! stop..!
All right.
I've had it with you two.
My head feels
like a pumpkin
Two weeks
after Halloween.
He started it.
It's not
my fault.
No talking!
If either one of you
says another word,
so help me --
I'm going to butter you.
All right, now,
I'm going to walk out of here.
I don't want anyone
to follow me.
I don't want anyone
to call me.
Am I making myself clear?
Yes, fine.
Yeah,
we understand.
All right, fine.
Great, you're here.
Listen, Eldin, can
I borrow your watch, please?
I need it.
Just give me it.
Wow! That is one bad
case of pillow hair.
My watch stopped.
My alarm clock is broken
From the time I threw it
at the garbage truck.
You are very rude.
I've been away for days.
And you haven't even asked
me how I've been.
I'm going to tell you.
I'm broke!
I'm broke!
Yes,
I'm free at last!
I gave all that money
I made from that painting
away to people who live
in the street.
It was exhilarating!
You should have seen
Old cardboard box Ernie
running amok
In the pottery barn.
That's great, Eldin.
Now give me your watch.
It's very important.
You haven't heard
one word I've said, have you?
Sure, I did-- Money. Gone. Poor. Happy.
Now, gimme.
Okay, okay,
but you got to be careful with it.
It's shockproof.
It's waterproof.
It has pictures
of all apostles on it.
I want it back
by quarter to Judas.
You'll get it back, Eldin.
I promise.
Thanks, Eldin. I love you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You love everybody lately.
♪♪ I need love, love ♪♪
♪♪ To ease my mind ♪♪
♪♪ I need to find, find ♪♪
♪♪ Someone to call mine ♪♪
♪♪ But Mama said ♪♪
♪♪ You can't hurry love ♪♪
♪♪ No, you just have to wait ♪♪
♪♪ She said love
don't come easy ♪♪
♪♪ It's a game of
give and take ♪♪
♪♪ You can't hurry love ♪♪
♪♪ No, you just
have to wait ♪♪
♪♪ You got to trust ♪♪
♪♪ Give it time ♪♪
♪♪ No matter how
long it takes ♪♪
♪♪ But how many heartaches
must I stand ♪♪
♪♪ Before I find a love ♪♪
♪♪ To let me live again? ♪♪
♪♪ Right now the only thing
that keeps me hangin' on ♪♪
♪♪ When I feel my strength ♪♪
♪♪ Yeah, is almost gone ♪♪
♪♪ I remember Mama said ♪♪
♪♪You can't hurry love♪♪
♪♪ No, you just have to wait ♪♪
♪♪ She said love
don't come easy ♪♪
♪♪ It's a game of
give and take ♪♪
♪♪ How long must I wait,
how much more can I take ♪♪
♪♪ Before loneliness ♪♪
♪♪ Will cause my heart ♪♪
♪♪ Heart to break? ♪♪
♪♪ No, I can't bear ♪♪
♪♪ To live my life alone ♪♪
♪♪ I grow impatient for a love
to call my own ♪♪
♪♪ But when I feel that i ♪♪
♪♪ I can't go on ♪♪
♪♪ These precious words
keeps me hangin' on ♪♪
♪♪ I remember Mama said ♪♪
♪♪You can't hurry love♪♪
♪♪ No, you just have to wait ♪♪
♪♪ She said
love don't come easy ♪♪
♪♪ It's a game of
give and take ♪♪
♪♪ You can't hurry love ♪♪
♪♪ No, you just have to wait ♪♪
♪♪ She said trust,
give it time ♪♪
♪♪ No matter how
long it takes. ♪♪
I'm telling you, Jim
We've let this situation
go on too long.
What kind of friends stand by
And watch a once proud
and beautiful woman
like Murphy Brown
Go insane?
Oh, sure it was fun
for a little while.
But Jim, the other day
Jesse Helms walked
right in front of her car
And she didn't even try
to run him down.
Okay, she chased him
For a few blocks
But you could just tell
her heart wasn't in it.
I don't want to hear it, Corky.
It's none of our business.
Yes, it is.
Those two guys are
responsible for this.
I'm sick of Jerry,
I'm sick of Jake.
They turned a woman
with a hide liked barbed wire
Into a bowl of oatmeal.
Not even regular oatmeal...
soggy, watery oatmeal
Like when
you put in too much milk
And you haven't got
more room to add cereal
But you try to eat it
anyway
And it just
kind of drips off the spoon
And you try
chewing it
But it's this...
frank.
I'm sorry.
I'm upset, okay?
Would you listen
to yourselves?
Mr. Fret
And Miss Worry.
We're talking about a woman
Who's proven she can handle
any situation, no matter how difficult.
She once had a date
with Ted Kennedy,
For God's sake.
Let's just stay out
of her affairs.
It is simply not right to butt into
other people's business.
Morning, Shirley.
Type these.
Oh, dear lord,
we've lost her.
Don't just stand there--
do something.
Corky, this is
a woman's thing.
Go in there.
Talk about freshness.
Brush her hair for a while
Then ask her
what's going on.
Me?
I'm not going in there alone.
You go.
Oh, yes. I'm very good
at this sort of thing.
"Excuse me, Murphy.
I notice you're wearing animals
on your feet
"And you spoke to bones.
Is there anything you'd like
to tell me?"
Let's hold on a minute.
Somebody has got to get
through to her.
years, there isn't anything
Murph and I haven't been able
to talk about.
I'll handle this.
God be with you, Frank.
Murph, can I come in?
Thanks.
Let me start out by saying
that I know you're confused.
I know you're upset.
But I'm you're best friend.
You can talk to me
about anything
So go ahead.
What's going on?
The stick is blue.
The dog barks at midnight.
Murph, come on, now.
I'm reaching out here.
Talking is good.
It's healthy.
Now try to open up.
Okay.
I think I'm pregnant.
What?
I said...
I heard you the first time.
What's wrong with you?
You don't just say
a thing like that.
You lead up to it a little bit.
You put a few sentences
in front of it.
You talk about the weather,
sports, anything
Before you take out a cannon
and fire at somebody's face.
Oh, my God!
Sorry, Frank.
I've never been pregnant before.
And it didn't seem
the appropriate time
To bring up that incoming
high-pressure system.
I took one of those
home pregnancy tests.
The stick was blue--
a positive result.
Murph, I'm going
to tell you something.
I hope you don't think
less of me, but...
I got to get out of here.
You look to me
for advice.
I could give you
the wrong answer.
Okay, you can go.
No, this is what
best friends do, right?
They're strong.
They're supportive.
Are you out of your mind?
Running around with two guys
Having unprotected sex
in the ' s?
Whoa, a little credit here!
I was not running around
with two guys.
I was with one man--
One man, one time.
Jake or Jerry?
I'm not sure
I want to hear this.
And I'm not going to tell you.
It wouldn't be right to tell you
before I tell him.
Let's just say
That the man and I
have strong feelings
For each other.
I was trying to avoid
a physical relationship
But you know me.
I have sex as often as we get
a democrat for president.
I was a walking time b*mb.
Oh, god.
God, Murph.
That's why I wanted
to be sure.
I didn't want to get
into a situation
That could be hazardous
So the man and I
decided to have blood tests.
Clean bill of health,
no problems.
I can't tell you
how relieved I am to hear that.
One afternoon,
the man came to my office
To take me to lunch.
It was totally spontaneous.
I was like
Mount St. Helens, Frank.
What are you saying?
That it happened in this room?
Was I out there?
I don't want to know.
I can't believe this.
I can't believe
you didn't take any precautions.
I'm years old.
All my friends are going
to fertility clinics
Paying doctors money
to get pregnant.
It never occurred to me
I'd be any different.
I did it once, once,
and bingo!
It's like you wanted it
to happen.
Wanted it to happen?
How could I?
Okay, maybe it is my last chance
to have a kid ever
But I don't have room
in my life.
When I'm onto a story,
I can't be distracted.
What will I say?
"Mr. President,
could you speak a little louder?
I can't hear you over
my breast pump."
And what about travel?
Do you take the kid?
Do you leave it with a nanny?
Public school or private?
And the religion question?
Do you make them take
music lessons?
And what comes after
"I'm a little teapot,
short and stout"?
Oh, god, I'm sweating.
My head is soaked.
But I'm okay.
Keep talking.
I think this is going well.
There's an even
bigger question, Frank.
Would something happen to me
if I became a mother?
I mean
Would I lose my edge?
And if I don't,
what kind of mother am I?
What are you going to do, Murph?
I don't know.
Do you have any thoughts,
any feelings
One way or the other?
I don't know.
I never thought I'd be
in a situation like this.
I always thought
I was too smart.
Does that mean I have to live
with my mistake?
Does a child
have to live with it?
I know I have the right
to make this decision.
I just didn't expect
it would be this hard.
Okay.
I'm going to give you
some advice.
I think you should definitely...
Not have the baby.
No, have it.
Have it, but look into adoption.
Is any of this helping?
No!
What can I do?
I have no idea.
Maybe you didn't do
the test right.
It's not that complicated.
Neither is putting on shoes.
What?
Oh, geez.
I don't even own
a pair of these.
Where was I this morning?
You see my point.
Look, Frank, you're right.
I should call my doctor.
Make an appointment.
I could be worrying
over nothing.
Right. Maybe it's nothing.
If I'm late
for the morning meeting
Just tell Miles
I had to stop
At the drugstore.
And Frank...
Thanks for the shoulder.
Just don't go anywhere.
I may need the other one.
Oh.
It says right here
on the bottle:
"Nine out of ten doctors
recommend it
For relief of heartburn,
indigestion and gas."
That's nine
out of ten doctors.
What more do you want?
Their names, and where did
they go to medical school?
You always try to sell me
what's on special.
So don't buy the product.
Just don't come
crying to me
During sweeps month
When all you network guys
storm the damn place
With your colons
in overdrive.
These bottles are going
to fly out of here
And you're going to be
out of luck.
Murphy.
Mi-Miles... hi.
What are you doing here?
Getting monthly supplies.
how about you?
Um, same.
Same.
Ooh, gee, it's almost : .
You don't want to be late
for the morning meeting.
You're right.
Give me your basket.
my treat.
Oh, no, it's okay.
I still have
Some shopping around
I want to do.
Oh, look.
Gnomes are on sale.
Here's Turkel,
the little banjo player.
We've got to go.
Let me have
your basket.
How often do I
get a chance
To treat my star reporter
to something?
Just as long
as you don't have
A Ferrari hidden in here.
Murphy, what are these?
What? What are what?
These boxes.
They're home
pregnancy tests.
They are?!
Well, that's not my basket.
I must have picked up
somebody else's basket.
Ah! Here we are.
Uh, ma'am, I think
I have your basket
And you have mine.
Yup, that's my basket.
See? Porcelana.
You take this one,
and I'll take that one.
Hey, girlie, get your hands
off my basket
Or I'm calling
the manager.
Well...
Looks like I'm left holding
the basket, so to speak.
You've got five seconds
to tell me something
That will prevent
my heart attack.
I think I'm pregnant.
(Raspy gurgling)
(Sustained gurgling)
Miles, breathe, breathe!
(Coughs)
Oh, god, how could you
do this to me?
How could you
do this to me?!
Lower your voice!
Let's go talk
in the cotton ball aisle.
There's better
sound absorption.
I didn't want you
to find out now.
There's a possibility
I'm not pregnant.
What do you mean,
a possibility?
How much
of a possibility?
More than a % chance?
%? ? ? how much?
Not much.
How can you be pregnant?
You're , almost .
Closer to than to
And that's extremely old
for eggs.
They don't have
that kind of shelf life.
We've got to find a way
to deal with this.
How do you deal
with this?
You are a major
network news star
A role model.
How many unmarried,
pregnant role models
Have you ever seen
on prime time?
None. Zero. Gornischt.
Sometimes audiences
surprise us.
I'll be surprised
In a dark alley
by Reverend Wildmon.
What happens
when your face
Gets like a casaba melon
and we have to use
The jaws of life
To get you out
of the anchor chair
And I think
I'm having an embolism.
Miles, would you calm down?
Nothing is for sure yet.
I've only taken
one of these tests.
Only one? Only one.
Then maybe it's just
a mistake.
Yes. Maybe you didn't follow
the directions on the box.
That could happen, right?
Let's do one right now.
What do we got here?
Uh, "no messy cups."
"No droppers."
that's good.
I think there's a rest room
in the back.
Is your bladder full?
What am I, a -h project?
I can do this by myself.
Get away from me.
You're right.
You're right.
You're right.
I'm not worried
about this.
I'm not.
And I'm sure,
one day very soon
We'll be sitting in Phil's
talking about this
And having a good laugh.
Laugh with me now, Murphy.
All right.
When will you know
for sure?
Tomorrow morning.
I'll keep you posted.
Keep me posted? you do that.
You keep the executive producer
posted!
If you're looking for me
I'll be at the cardiac care ward
at Bethesda.
Yo! Juliet.
Whoa!
It came
from the Planet Gertrude.
You've been
in that bathroom
For almost two hours.
No offense or anything
But I would have
expected you to come out
Looking a lot better.
I wasn't putting
on makeup.
No kidding.
I'm in a very fragile
state of mind right now.
Any attempt to change my mood
will fail.
Proceed at your own risk.
What am I going to do?
What am I going to do?
What am I going to do?
What are you going to do?
What am I going to do?
Linseed oil just went up
a dollar a can
But you don't see me letting
my appearance go to hell.
Eldin, someone's coming
over here now--
A man--
Because there's something
I have to tell him
And this something
I have to tell this man
Is very private.
Oh, yeah? What is it?
I'm trying to be subtle.
It's not a skill
I'll ever master
So could you give me a break?
Would you mind going home?
Oh. This again.
Okay, fine,
but just let me say this:
You would think
after living
Under the same roof
for three years
There would be
no more secrets.
After you let someone
Shave their legs
with your putty knife
You'd think
There would be
a little trust.
(Doorbell ringing)
I'll get that on my way out.
I didn't do nothing.
Hi, Eldin.
Yeah, yeah. If she says
She's going to marry you
I get to keep
my own towels.
I was here first.
Hello, Murphy.
Hello, Jake.
I brought you these.
They're beautiful.
You shouldn't have.
That's pretty much what
the security guard said.
I got them out
of the White House rose garden.
You know, I can still
jump a fence pretty good.
Jake, we have to talk.
I know.
You've asked me
to marry you every day
For the last three weeks.
You've been very patient
waiting for my answer.
But Jake, something's happened.
There's no easy way to say this,
so I'll just say it.
I'm pregnant.
You're pregnant?
Are you sure?
Ten home pregnancy tests
and a dead rabbit
can't all be wrong.
Jake, I know what's going
through your mind right now.
You're picking out names.
You're putting an Abby
Hoffman doll in its crib.
You're teaching it to recite all the
names of the Watergate defendants.
But Jake, don't make
a future yet
because I haven't decided
what I want to do
and I'm counting on you
not to pressure me
until I can sort
through everything.
Murphy,
When you called and asked
me to come over here
I was sure I knew why.
You were going to tell me
you'd decided not to marry me.
and I was going to
be big about it.
and tell you
it was okay
that you'd made
the right decision.
And then I was going
to try to figure out a way
to help you not feel bad
for making me feel bad
because maybe I didn't
feel as bad as I thought I would.
Am I making
any sense at all?
No.
Look,
I thought
that I could
change the world
by working the system.
I really did.
But I've been in Washington
for three weeks now.
Already, I've seen the
handwriting on the wall.
I can't sit around
pushing papers,
when other people are
doing the real work.
Protecting the rain
forest in Brazil,
and getting food
for the hungry in Ethiopia,
and helping the political
prisoners in South Africa.
I guess part of me
always knew
you weren't the type to fix things
over a power lunch.
I really tried.
But this morning
was the last straw.
This big advertising agency
called me from New York.
Wanted me to do one of those ads.
for The Gap.
Jake Lowenstein,
radical activist,
in a classic Gap T.
I knew right then.
It was time for me
to go back underground.
I mean, I've still
got a lot of good years left.
Now...
Now we have this.
Right.
This.
It changes everything.
We want to
do the right thing.
We want to
make the right choice.
Maybe we can
make it work, Murphy.
Maybe there's a way.
I mean,
if that's how
you're leaning.
Jake, I think
it's pretty clear that
neither of us
has changed much,
since we were
married the first time.
If we tried it again,
we'd just be repeating
the same mistake.
Right.
So to have a
child without parents...
Got to have parents.
No question about that.
Although, one parent
is not uncommon.
Well, granted, granted.
But, of course, that would
put the burden on you.
You'd be the parent.
Can you picture that?
What's so funny?
Oh, come on.
You're ...
You.
Well, maternal
is not the first word
I would use to describe you.
Right, but
just to be the devil's advocate here,
So, I'm tough.
That doesn't mean
I don't have
a nurturing, caring side.
I once fed
the cat next door.
How would you even
be able to do your job,
If you had a child to raise?
It takes a tremendous
amount of time and effort.
Not that I'm disagreeing with you,
But how did Mike Wallace do it?
Morley Safer?
Howard K. Smith?
They had wives.
Think about it.
Look ...
You live half your
life on an airplane
following storms.
What are you going to do?
Excuse yourself from
the next summit meeting
because you're
low on Huggies?
God, Jake!
For a guy who knows all
the words to In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida,
you're beginning to sound
an awful lot like Pat Boone.
There's no one right
way to raise a child.
So I travel a lot.
A well-traveled child
is a healthy child.
And they often fly
for free, you know.
Until they're old enough
to need their own seat.
When they're .
Sure, it would be hard to
raise a child on my own.
But I couldn't
possibly do a worse job
than the Reagan's
did with theirs.
And I'll tell you another thing,
I'm resourceful.
I never date lawyers.
And I only own one television,
and it's under ".
So, I don't see why I can't
be a mother, if I want to.
Not that I'm
saying I want to.
I haven't made
a decision yet.
I don't know.
Sounds like you have.
Oh, God.
Am I out of my mind?
What do I want
with a child?
I'm living a highly
complete life here.
It's just, that
for the last hours,
there's this
voice inside me.
The voice of a tiny baby girl
with a very big mouth.
It's getting louder
every minute.
And it's saying "yes"
Murphy,
I want to make sure
you understand something.
I care about you.
And I'll care
about this baby.
But this is your decision.
I can't be there for you.
I understand.
Thank you.
Hi, Frank.
Hi, Miles.
Murphy in yet?
Nope. Not in yet.
I'm waiting for her.
No particular reason.
Just waiting for her to come in.
Yeah. Me, too.
Mind if I wait with you?
No, of course not.
Why would I mind?
Yep, yep, yep.
You know, don't you?
Know?
Know what?
Don't play coy with me, Frank.
I'm a man on the edge.
I couldn't sleep at all last night.
Is she pregnant, or not?!
And whose baby is it?
What if it's Jerry Gold's?
It'll be like that kid in The Omen.
Or Rosemary's Baby.
We'll look into the cradle and
there'll be a devil child in there.
wearing one of those white lace bonnets
only it'll have Jerry's face
and a two day old
growth of beard.
Oh, the horror!
The horror!
Get ahold of yourself.
Or they'll suspect
something is up.
Now, we'll have all the answers
soon enough.
Now, just ...
Try to act natural.
Come on.
Now, look at this stapler.
(talking over each other)
What do think? Half?
Let's open it and check it out.
What are they doing now?
Taking staples out of a
stapler and counting them.
Good grief.
Something's going on,
and we don't know about it.
It's not right.
We've never kept secrets
from each other.
Except for the time
we all got sick on Doris' Stroganoff
at your birthday dinner.
I'm just going to go over there
and find out what's happening.
(whispering)
(squeal)
Oh, for the love of Mohamed.
I think I'm fired, Garth.
Have you heard anything?
Guys, can I see you all in
my office for a moment?
You too, Jim.
Me, too?
Oh, boy!
Thank you for letting me
be part of your little club.
Do I have to wear a raccoon hat
or give a secret wave?
Just go in, Jim.
All right. There's obviously
been a new development
in the continuing saga of
Murphy Brown's love life
so why don't you fill us in so
we can all get back to our jobs
of reporting the news.
I'm pregnant.
If you're going to
toy with us, Murphy,
there's no point
in being here.
I'm not toying
with you, Jim.
It's definite.
I'm pregnant.
Oh, my God.
It's a medical miracle.
Who did this to you?
Please don't let it be Jerry.
Please don't let it be Jerry.
It's Jake's baby.
But it's a moot point
because Jake and I have decided
that to remarry would be a mistake.
In fact, Jake left for Brazil last night
and I don't know when he'll be back.
Will you stop doing that?!
Murphy?
Don't you worry.
I'll be there for you.
Even if I have to
drive you to some back alley
so some shady doctor
who might not even wash his hands
can take care of things.
Corky, there is no back alley.
Women in this country
legally have a choice.
At least I think they still do.
I haven't checked the paper today.
I'm sorry.
I'm from Louisiana.
This is the hardest decision
I've ever had to make.
But I'm exercising my choice.
to have this baby.
Murphy,
are you saying that you're going
to attempt to do your job
while week after week you puff up
before a viewing audience
that includes a
certain number of people
that are still reeling from the concept
of women wearing pants?
That's right, Jim.
Oh, good lord!
This could be the
worst decision anyone's
made in television
since Rhoda's wedding.
She's trying to k*ll me.
She is. People who have children
should be married!
They should raise their children
under one roof, with two parents
living there together
in holy wedded matrimony.
There should be a station wagon
and a hobby room.
Oh, come on, Miles.
You didn't grow up with that.
And look at me.
I have a tremendous fear of dogs.
Is that what you want?
All right. Let's just
hold on here now.
Murphy's just made
a real difficult decision
that even though we're all sort of
I don't know.
What's the phrase I'm looking for?
Appalled.
Sick to my stomach.
Hey!
Can we get to the point, please?
She's made a decision
and I think we should
stand behind her, okay?
Okay?
Okay.
Murphy.
Do you need any money?
Oh, for God's sake, Jim.
I make as much as you do.
Is that true, Miles?
All right.
That's it.
That's enough talking.
Everybody out.
I still have a story
to put together.
I can still do that,
you know.
Am I still your favorite?
Yes.
Go!
You never know.
Well, gee, I guess the rumor's true.
Scientists found traces of Phil's meatloaf
in Zachary Taylor's remains.
What are you doing here?
I was invited. By Murphy.
Said she had something
important to tell me.
Oh, no!
This isn't happening.
It's just a bad dream.
If I stick my head in the deep fryer,
I'll wake up and it'll all be over.
Yeah, yeah,
it's worth a shot.
Hi, Jerry.
Thanks for meeting me here.
I have something to tell you.
Uh oh, I don't like the sound of that.
It's the same tone my lawyer used
when he said my parents
were suing me.
This is going to be a little difficult, Jerry,
So bear with me, okay.
Oh, okay.
I get it.
It's obvious what you're
going to say to me
so why don't you make
this easy on both of us?
You decided to marry that Jake guy.
I know what you see in him.
He's tall. He's good looking.
You once shared
a stir fry with Joan Baez.
As opposed to me
whose tires are slashed
by Ralph Nader.
Yeah, Brown, you made
the right decision.
What kind of life could
you have with me?
Sneaking around corners,
being followed by an
angry g*ng of dolphins.
The liberal and the beast.
So, congratulations.
Have a nice
Mario Cuomo-esque life
with all the government sponsored
social programs you could want.
I'll see you around.
I'm not marrying Jake.
You're not?
Well,
Why didn't you
just say so?
Because there's something
else you should know.
I'm pregnant.
Well, wait a minute, Brown.
If memory serves me correctly,
we haven't had sex
since I've been back in Washington.
Which can mean only one thing --
either I'm better than I thought,
or it's the other guy's baby.
It's Jake's baby.
But he's pretty much
out of the picture,
so now it's just my baby.
Wow.
This is unbelievable, Brown.
You're .
I mean when something
like this happens,
don't they put
your picture on
The New England
Journal of Medicine?
Why is that the first thing
everyone says?
is not such
an unusual age
for a woman to be
having a baby anymore.
And I am having a baby, Jerry.
Just so you know.
What is this?
Some kind of
pre-menopausal insanity?
I mean, Brown,
you are free now.
You can come and go
whenever you want.
That's all going to change.
You'll change.
One of America's toughest reporters
is going to be reduced
to questions like
Did Mommy's little angel
make a poo-poo today?
I mean, come on.
What is everyone's
problem here?
I make this big decision
and no one's happy for me.
Everyone's afraid
I'm going to
go into the delivery room
Murphy Brown
and come out
Harriet Nelson.
Well, I've got news for you.
I've had this loud, opinionated
self-centered personality
since I was a zygote
and I'm not about
to change now.
Except I have to find out
about Cat in the Hat.
Do you know what that is?
A Korean dish?
Fine. Very helpful.
I'll just research it, okay?
Like a good reporter
always does.
Like the good reporter
I'll always be.
Am I making
my point, Jerry?
I don't know.
You could say it a little louder.
There's some people in
Nebraska who didn't hear you.
Look, I'm sorry I yelled.
I just wanted you to know
what the situation was because
strange as it may seem
I care a lot about you.
But if you want to say
goodbye, I understand.
It always comes down
to this anyway.
Look
I'm sorry.
But I've had this personality
a long time, too.
And it's not one that
blossoms around kids.
So, you take care
of yourself.
And lots of luck, okay?
But you know --
I thought just
crossed my mind.
If you have a boy,
He's going to need a
good, strong male influence.
Other than you.
And if it's a girl,
she's going to need
somebody to teach her
how to look out
for guys like me.
What I'm trying to say is, Brown,
if you need anything,
I'm not going anywhere.
You and the pyramids
never cease to amaze me.
Come on, let's
get out of here
and actually find a place
where they serve food.
You're on.
There is something
I want to ask you though.
I hear you can still do it,
even in the ninth month.
Is that true?
Eldin?
I'm home.
Is there anything to eat?
Well, that's it.
I'm finished.
I'll see you.
Oh, I have something to tell you,
but it can wait till tomorrow.
No, I don't think so.
I'm finished.
What do you mean,
you're finished?
You mean "finished" finished?
Done?
You're leaving?
Well, you know, the job took
a little longer than I expected.
It turned out pretty good.
So, uh, I ...
Well, bye.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute!
Just like that?
You're here for three years,
and then it's over?
No formal goodbyes,
just out the door and gone?
Well, you know,
some people form an
unhealthy attachment to me.
A clean break is usually
the best thing to do.
Besides, I can tell things
around here are about to change.
There's going to be
another person,
and frankly, I'm
already feeling crowded.
What am I wearing
some kind of sign
that says I'm pregnant?
What?
Whoa.
Run that by me again.
Isn't that what you were talking about?
That there's a baby coming.
No! I thought you
were getting married.
I'm not getting married.
Wait a minute.
You're not getting married?
And there's a baby coming?
Are you going to lecture me, too?
Go ahead.
I'm getting used to it.
Congratulations!
This is a very good thing!
You're with child!
This is a very good
thing you're doing!
Although,
most people
would generally buy
a plant or a small pet
just to see how it would go,
at first, you know.
But at your age,
I guess you can't
waste no time, huh?
Oh, Eldin.
You're the first person
to be happy for me.
I haven't even allowed
myself to be happy.
Maybe --
Maybe I should
rethink this departure.
You know, you're going
to need a nursery,
the single most important
room in the house.
I wouldn't want some hack
from Ed's Paints coming here
and throwing some cliché
pink and blue on the wall.
Not after the effort
I put in this place.
Right. Think about that
ceiling over the crib.
The baby will be looking
at that all day, all night.
That's my chance to make
an impact on a young mind.
There you go.
This could take months.
How many do we have?
/ .
The pressure.
I better get started.
Now let's see.
A mural.
A definite mural.
Something topical.
But with child appeal
at the same time.
Maybe
John Sununu at Disneyland
taking a free turn
on the teacup ride.
Hey, Eldin?
What?
Do you think I'll
make a good mother?
No.
But I will.