...
Well, what do you know?
Here it is : and murphy's
late for another story meeting.
It's my fault. I let her
get away with too much.
Hey, you know what
we should do?
Let's all stand by the elevator
looking at our watches.
That way when she gets here
she'll feel really humiliated.
Come on.
This'll be good.
Come on.
Okay, let's go. It's after : .
I thought we were supposed
to have a meeting.
Some of us have been working
on a story since : .
You know, you really should do
something about your lateness
problem, miles.
Can we just start the meeting?
Right, let's start the meeting
because I have the greatest...
Why bother?
There isn't going to be a show.
We're going on a strike, I just know it.
You don't know that, frank.
The networks will do everything
they can to keep the on-camera
personnel from walking out.
Now, we have to keep positive
thoughts and proceed as usual.
Right. Proceed with my story,
my fabulous story.
Well nobody hate me for this,
But I wouldn't mind a little strike.
I've been under a lot of stress lately,
And I could use a paid vacation.
Corky... When people go out on
strike, they don't get paid.
Oh sure, frank.
(Everyone talking at once)
(murphy screams)
Now that I have your attention...
I'd like to tell you about my story idea.
I have landed an interview
with james chandler.
You're kidding!
(Imitates baseball bat)
To the track, to the wall,
it's a home run.
Chandler hasn't talked to reporters
since his savings and loan went belly up.
It was the biggest bankruptcy in
american history.
There's just one thing
Chandler's trial starts next week
And the judge will probably
impose a gag order.
So I have to do the interview
on this week's show.
I'm telling you, there is not
going to ba a show
There's going to be a strike
The network is going to start
rerunning all the old f.y.i. Broadcasts
and sooner or later
They're going to get to the one where
my toupee blew into a sewer grate.
How can we not get paid?
I don't know why you're wasting
all this time talking about a strike.
Don't forget who's the negotiator
for our side.
Jim "the k*ller" dial.
He's been at the bargaining table
around the clock since
yesterday morning.
We've got nothing to worry about.
Strike.
Told you.
What happened?
What's going on, jim?
Maybe this is just a
temporary impasse.
I bet negotiations will
pick up any minute.
I mean, these are all reasonable
people, right, jim?
Oh, yes. Very reasonable.
At am, a fist fight broke out
over the last raisin bagel.
I appealed to everyone to
put aside petty differences but
Soon things deteriorated to the
point that grown men and women
resorted to name calling.
I've never been so frustrated in my life.
(Elevator bell)
Good morning, everybody.
And here's the head wienie now.
I'm so sorry. I haven't slept.
I'm wearing yesterday's socks.
Oh, that's all right. There's no
need to apologize. I understand.
Emotions are running high.
As a matter of fact, kids,
that's the reason I stopped by.
It's important for us to remember
that no matter what,
We're family.
Well said.
Strikes happen.
We've been through all of this before.
You have a little piece of raisin
in your teeth, gene.
Well, I've never been in a strike before.
There's so many things I don't know.
Questions about ethics and behavior.
How do we deal with the v*olence issue?
And what about protection
on the picket line
Do they provide sun block
or do we bring our own?
Let me help you with this, corky.
First lesson...
Do not talk to management.
We are going out in support of
our brothers and sisters
In the smaller cities who don't
have the same benefits we do.
That's called solidarity.
A proud tradition of labor, whose blood
and sweat made this country great.
Oh, come on, frank. You know
gene doesn't want this strike
any more than we do.
Thank you, brownie.
You're welcome, gene.
But we do have a problem.
Because of the strike we're going
to lose an interview with james chandler.
Now I don't have to tell you that the
s & l crisis affects the entire country.
You got james chandler?
Well, this is a whole new ball game.
Brownie, thank you for
bringing this to my attention.
No problem, gene.
I was hoping I wouldn't
have to do this but
It looks like I'm going to have to
hire substitute anchors.
Excuse me?
Oh no, you're absolutely right, brownie.
This is too important an interview to lose.
But I want you all to understand
there's nothing personal in this.
This is purely a business decision.
Of course, gene. We understand.
And by the way, is that your head
or is your neck blowing a bubble?
Well! If that's the
way you want to play it.
Let me just remind you all once again
this is my property
And that you all have to get off.
You have until noon.
Ooh, big man, I'm scared.
Mr. Kinsella?
Sorry I'm late.
But I had trouble
Getting through
the picket line.
Morley safer was lying
in the street by the main entrance.
I just stepped on him.
Silverberg, I've got big news,
but all in due time.
First, let's order.
Phil, my good man
I will have
a phil burger.
Sorry, those are
our regular menus.
This is what you gentlemen
will be using today.
"Chopped steak on a bun,
executive-style."
What's the difference?
Five bucks.
You're ordering
from our management menu.
Oh, geez.
I thought this bar was neutral.
You have phil's
confused with switzerland.
Chopped steak
executive-style.
Make it two.
Would either of you gentlemen
Care to purchase
some catsup for that?
No, thank you.
(Chuckling)
Let's get to business.
Remember when jim
was in libya
And we had a guest anchor?
Do I ever.
Miller redfield.
What a clown.
Arrogant, incompetent...
And very much in demand
Because he's willing
to cross the picket line.
That's why we've hired him
to replace murphy.
(Squeaks)
With all due respect,
the man was a disaster.
He froze on the air.
His questions were incoherent.
They still run highlights of it
on letterman.
Well, he's matured now.
A year with our
kuala lumpur bureau
Did him good.
But the pressure
of a network show
A live show...
That's where you come in.
You'll work with him.
You'll make him great.
I'm not asking him
to go on and fly solo.
I plan to take over
jim's anchor spot myself.
You?
Gee, how about that?
You, on the air.
I wouldn't have thought of that
in a million years.
That's why I'm the boss,
silverberg
And few people are born
with a voice like this.
God, this is exciting!
Looks like taking our jobs
wasn't enough.
Now they want
our table.
Miles, gene.
Hey.
Hello.
Hey, how you guys doing?
So how's the great f.y.i.
Talent search coming?
We've been very fortunate,
right, silverberg?
Not that we could
replace you, murphy.
But I convinced
a rising new star
To join us.
There he is now.
Hey, over here?
Good to see you.
I believe you all know
miller redfield.
Remember miles silverberg?
Sure do.
Hi ya, boss.
Hello.
These unemployed people
look familiar, too.
After you ran me off
You probably thought
I was finished.
I said I'd be back.
Everything that goes around
comes back to capistrano.
We are surprised.
Who's covering
in kuala lumpur?
What if there's
a four-donkey pileup
During rush hour?
I've been union
for years.
I've fought
to bring credibility
To our profession.
When I see someone
cross picket lines
I'm reminded of judas
at the last supper.
At least somebody's
on my side.
No, we're not.
We're union,
you disgusting scar.
Scab, scab.
Scab.
Excuse me
But as much as I've enjoyed
our little reunion
I have a show to plan.
You mentioned something
about a hot interview?
I'm always ready
for a scoop.
So who is this
james chandler guy?
Oh, my god!
You're giving
my interview to miller?
What happened,
you couldn't get mr. Ed?
You have nothing
to worry about, brownie.
I've hired a journalist
who can rise to the occasion.
Right, son?
You bet.
I've lost
my appetite.
Come on, guys,
let's go.
Is the strike
over yet?
Nope.
Are you getting
dressed today?
Maybe.
I think it's time
we had a little talk
To clear the air.
You're driving me nuts.
I don't think
that's fair, eldin.
I'm just trying to keep myself busy.
I'm taking care of chores around the house.
I don't know why
you'd have a problem with that.
You painted the laundry room.
I wanted to do that.
Oh, am I supposed
to guess these things?
You know,
we never talk anymore, eldin.
Maybe we're one of those couples
That can't spend a lot of time
together.
I'd hate to admit that's true
But maybe we have
to accept that.
(Doorbell rings)
I'll get it.
That could be
your picket captain.
He called earlier.
He said there wouldn't
be picketing today.
I suggested he take you away
for the weekend.
Miles.
Well, hey, murphy,
you're home.
What are you doing?
Something fun?
I'm putting
identification stickers
In every one of my books.
It is fun, and practical, too.
Speaking of fun,
I stopped by to tell you
About the hilarious
goings-on at f.y.i.
Oh, where to start?
Miller redfield.
Murphy, I think
he's an even
bigger idiot
Than we thought.
Not possible.
You'll like this.
He smokes a pipe now.
He just walks around
smoking it.
I've coached him
on the s & l issue.
The justice department
won't discuss the case.
The senate
subcommittee report
Doesn't come out
for two weeks
And I feel like
I'm drowning.
Not much to go on
without that report.
It really nails chandler.
How do you know?
I read it
over the weekend.
I've got a mole in the senate.
He finds the darnedest things
in the xerox room.
Yes!
I'm saved, I'm saved!
I knew you would
crack that story.
Boy, too bad I'm on strike.
Right.
I realize that.
I would never ask you
To compromise yourself
in any way.
You know that.
But if you had suggestions...
Because these strikes
aren't personal, right?
No, miles. I think
they're very personal.
I won't make a joke of it
By writing questions
for you to give to a guy
Who thinks nelson mandela
is a country-western singer.
The only reason
I came to you
Is because you're the best.
No one else can touch you.
I'm blessed to have been born
in your lifetime...
Good-bye, miles.
I never should have
gone for flattery.
Dumb, dumb, dumb!
You know...
Someday you'll want something
from me.
Then we'll just see.
You'll never need anything
from me.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Best crew in television.
Good seeing you.
Hi, bill.
John.
Exactly right.
Good to be back.
Hey there, hairbrush lady.
Okay, cameras
Let's have a good show.
Who's got my closeup?
That would be me.
I just want to say
one thing.
A three-quarter shot
of this side of the face
And never a profile.
I want to say one thing.
I didn't like you
last time you were here
And I don't like you now.
You're taking the bread
out of my murphy's mouth.
That's the same
as taking it out of mine.
It looks like you could do
with a little less bread.
You got a real pretty mouth.
Do you know how big
those lips will look
With a fisheye lens?
Two minutes, people.
All right, miller,
this is it.
Do you have your material
straight in your mind?
I've been thinking
About this savings and loan
business.
All this mumbo-gumbo
About bankruptcy
in the justice department..?
It's boring.
I've come up
With a whole new line
of questioning.
Listen to this.
"Tell me, mr. Chandler.
"Why do savings and loans
rarely give you more than minutes
Of validated parking?"
Are you serious?
You can't ask that.
I know it's tough, but it's fair.
Just listen to this one.
"Why are the lines so long
on friday afternoons?
And at lunch too."
I'll nail him
with that one.
One minute to air.
Let us pray.
Frank:
you know, phil
At chad's they have
a big-screen tv.
They also have
a two-drink minimum
Instead of letting people
sit around
Nursing one beer
for five hours like you.
Any other comments?
Nice reception.
Gene:
welcome to f.y.i.
Welcome to f.y.i.
Okay, I'm ready.
Just tell me when.
What?
Good evening.
I'm eugene kinsella
and I'm sitting in for...
Let's see, for... For jim dial.
Okay.
And welcome to fee fie i.
Hey, now!
Anchoring a live broadcast
Is a difficult
and nerve-wracking job.
He deserves our respect
for giving it his best effort.
For your information,
on tonight's show...
For your information,
on tonight's show...
For your information...
Spit it out, you old fool.
Spin some more.
You look like the exorcist.
When we come back,
our top story--
An interview with james chandler
Conducted by our crack economic
reporter, miles silverberg.
Miles is doing
the interview?
What happened to miller?
Hey, everybody.
It's miller time.
Give me six drinks.
They don't all
have to be the same.
No shirt, no shoes,
no brains, no service.
Don't tell me
this time you got fired
Before you opened your mouth.
You must feel really bad.
Go ahead and laugh.
The redfields have been
laughed at for generations
And we're still here
And we'll be here
till the end of time--
Just us and the cockroaches.
You'll see.
Oh, no, you won't.
You won't be here.
(Tires squealing
and horns honking)
Look who's come
crawling back.
I need to talk to murphy.
May I have
One minute, seconds
of your time?
Of course, miles.
Whatever can I do for you?
When I came to you
You didn't want
to help that putz.
That putz
is now this putz.
You have to tell me what
the senate report says.
Don't do this to me.
You're putting me
in a terribly difficult position.
You? I have to get up
in front of million people
In exactly...
Oh, god!
Murphy, murphy
You're dedicated
to the strike
And I respect that.
You said you take
these things personally.
I'm your friend.
I need your help.
I can't discuss
the senate report with you
Because if I did, i...
You'd know to ask
chandler questions
Like why did he
double-bill his company
For every business trip
He took
the last seven years.
Thank you.
Well, murphy, you're nothing
but a stinking collaborator.
And you know
What we do
to collaborators?
We shave their legs.
Their heads.
We shave their heads.
What else
could I do?
Miles is a friend
who's in trouble.
How many times has
he been there for us?
It wouldn't k*ll us
to return the favor once.
Miles will keep coming back.
The more you help,
the longer the strike will last.
That won't help anybody,
including miles.
That won't happen.
Miles knows
how hard this is for me.
He's not going to ask me
for help again.
Let's just
watch the show.
We're coming back
from commercial.
Uh, here we go.
In five, four, three
Two...
Hi.
Welcome back to f.y.i.
I'm miles silverberg,
here with james chandler.
Mr. Chandler,
I think we can all agree
That an executive
can expect to be reimbursed
For his legitimate expenses.
However, while your institution
was falling
Into the largest bankruptcy
in american history
You were charging
your impoverished company
For twice your actual expenses
And simply
embezzling the difference.
Is that how you run
a savings and loan?
No comment.
No comment.
"No comment," you say.
So let me
just get this straight.
You're not
going to make a comment?
No comment at all?
That's correct.
Okay...
Maybe you want
to throw this over
To the rest of our team.
Mr. Kinsella?
Get...
Murphy:
damn!
Miles lost him.
He had the perfect opening
to nail the guy
And he missed it.
Ask about
parking validation.
That's what america
wants to know.
Murphy!
He didn't answer
the question.
He senses I'm a rookie.
He's going to stonewall me.
You crack these guys.
Tell me how you do it.
Wait a minute.
Let me just understand this.
Are you asking me
to help you again? Again?
Yes, murphy.
I need this, please.
I'm dying out there.
Okay, miles,
here's what you do.
When you're back on the air
with chandler
Ask him the question again.
Then just look at him.
Don't say a word.
Just sit there staring at him
while he stares back?
We'll have nothing
but dead air.
Not for long.
This takes tremendous
self-control on your part
But eventually the silence
will get to him and he'll talk.
Everything you want to know
will come pouring out.
Really?
It's an old reporter's technique
I learned from mike wallace.
I probably shouldn't
give it to you.
Why are you helping him?
Tell him
all our secrets.
Thanks for nothing.
Oh, god!
I give this strike
another minutes.