..
♪♪ Wait, mr. Postman ♪♪
♪♪ Please, mr. Postman,
look and see ♪♪
♪♪ Is there a letter
in your bag for me ♪♪
♪♪ 'Cause it's been
a mighty long time ♪♪
♪♪ Since I heard
from this boyfriend of mine ♪♪
♪♪ There must be
some word today ♪♪
♪♪ From my boyfriend,
so far away ♪♪
♪♪ Please, mr. Postman,
look and see ♪♪
♪♪ Is there a letter,
a letter for me? ♪♪
♪♪ I was standing here waiting,
mr. Postman... ♪♪
Jim:
what about an update
on the poindexter trial?
Hate it.
The stealth
bomber?
Really hate it.
The miss u.s.s.r. Contest?
Really, really hate it.
You're just sitting there like
some little king.
What's wrong with you?
I'm getting a cold.
I can feel it
starting in the back of my throat.
I used to be better
at fighting things off.
I'd visualize
my white blood cells
As the powerful american army
And the virus
as the bad russians.
Now we like the russians.
Maybe I'll try the chinese
or some islamic splinter group.
No, I could never win
against them.
They're fanatics.
Maybe a united germany.
Yeah, I'll try that.
I wasn't going to lay this
on you today
Because it's not
completely developed
But since you need
cheering up...
I'm onto a scam--
A ring of medical assistants
Who are selling dr*gs
on the black market.
Really?!
Are you toying with me?
No way.
I need to get
one of these assistants
To sell me some dr*gs.
I need a disguise.
Not the old bum again, frank.
We're sick of it.
You're having a meeting
and no one tells me.
Fine, see if I care.
(Indian accent:)
no reason to be upset.
We didn't want
to disturb you.
What's wrong with you?
I'm going undercover.
I need a new identity.
Good. We're all sick
of that bum.
What's wrong with you?
I'm getting a fever.
My glands are the size
of golf balls.
Here, feel this.
I'm not touching you, miles.
Anywhere, ever.
If you think you're dying
You better look at this
before you go. It'll make
you proud to know me.
You finished the
safe sex piece.
The statistics
are mind-boggling.
Aids and teen pregnancy
are at a record high
But when a high school in ohio
distributed condoms
It set off a controversy.
You feel the piece
is balanced?
You could put it on a scale,
it's so balanced.
But I guess
you'll be the judge.
Morning,
miss brown.
What do you want me
to do with your mail?
I'll take it, ray.
My secretary went
to the ladies' room
Six days ago.
Something tells me
she's not coming back.
Thanks, ray.
My name's bob.
It is not, ray.
Here's yours,
mr. Fontana.
Mr. Dial.
Thank you.
This is for you,
miss sherwood.
Here you go,
mr. Silverberg.
Congratulations.
You may have already won
A million dollars.
Here's an interesting
envelope.
Obviously a fan letter
Or a two-for-one sale
at victoria's secret.
"To the chairman of woodco
housecleaning products:
"I understand you are a sponsor
of f.y.i.
"I have read
that an upcoming segment
"Will deal with
condoms and teenagers
"A subject I feel has...
"...no place
on television.
"If you sponsor f.y.i...
"...i'll boycott
your product.
...mrs. Mary ann miller."
She sent copies to everyone
From the sales staff
to the network president.
Uh-oh.
This could be a problem.
Nobody takes these letters
seriously.
Besides, we're journalists.
Would the network
yank an important piece
Just because somebody
finds the subject matter threatening?
I've had that picture
of my dry cleaner
On my dart board
for over a month.
I think I've found
my next guest of honor.
Murphy:
club sandwich.
B.l.t.
Grilled cheese,
lightly toasted.
How about you, miles?
(Nasally:)
I'm not sure.
Guys, is it starve a cold
and feed a fever
Or feed a cold
and starve a fever?
It's feed a cold, miles.
Feed it plenty.
Now, my own
personal remedy
Is a nice, big plate
of meat loaf.
Trust me on this.
Wait. Wasn't meat loaf
last night's special?
So what?
Meat loaf
is a natural antibiotic.
Everybody knows that.
Actually,
I'm feeling pretty good.
I'd be very surprised
if I were contagious.
Okay, miles,
you can sit with us
But don't breathe
on anything.
Thanks.
What are we
talking about?
(Southern accent:)
I'm about to go undercover
And see if I can buy some of
those black market dr*gs.
What in the world is that supposed to be--
"fool on a hot tin roof?"
This is
driving me nuts.
I've got to hit
on the right character--
The right voice,
the clothes, the mannerisms.
(Blowing loudly)
Oh, god.
There's the part of my brain
That does long division.
Jim, think about
my situation...
This is absurd.
We're a news show.
We can't be subject
to these pressures.
You know al henderson
from sales.
I was just expressing
my gratitude to jim.
Thanks for playing
on the same team.
Something wrong, al?
You bet something's wrong.
Now that you've decided
to do a story about condoms
I can't get sponsors
for your show.
I can't sell
commercial time.
It's not about condoms.
It's about a national health crisis.
You spend hours a day on the
phone with these sponsors. They hear
"shirley temple black interview"
They're fine.
They hear "trojans"
It better be about
a big wooden horse.
As a father of two teenagers,
you should be glad
We're making this
information available
So something can be done
about a real problem...
Cut it out, frank!
Well, some parent has been
writing these sponsors
Threatening to boycott
their products
If they advertise on f.y.i.
Are the sponsors listening
to that pink envelope lady?
The sponsors figure there are
maybe millions more like her.
And the millions who disagree?
They don't write letters.
Why?
I'd love to stay
and theorize about that
But I've got to find you
a sponsor.
I'm very hopeful.
This morning I got a nibble
from little mort's house of carpets.
Al henderson--
Right above krill
on the food chain.
It's frustrating.
This letter writer--
She's probably a very, nice
woman from a small town
Who doesn't understand
what we're trying to do.
If I could reason with her...
Like you reasoned
with elizabeth dole?
I didn't push her into
the reflecting pool... She fell.
Maybe murphy
has something.
If we were to fly her out here
Let her see
how we make our stories
Fair and accurate.
We fly her out first-class
Put her up in the best hotel,
little studio tour
Little dinner at sardella's?
I like it.
Okay, that's it.
To "operation betty crocker."
I took them
and hid them in my office
And now no one will ever be able
to have them but me.
Will you people
pull yourselves together?
The woman will be here
any minute.
When she arrives,
greet her warmly
And ask if she'd like
a nice slice of the
bundt cake I made
You might want to compliment her
on her traveling outfit.
Corky,
let her handle this.
Murphy's not
a social misfit.
Try not to spit
at the woman, murphy.
Will you guys
quit worrying?
I can handle this.
It will be fine.
Excuse me.
I'm murphy brown's
new secretary.
Could you tell me
where she is?
Over there, ma'am.
Good luck.
Hello?
Murphy brown?
Ah, yes.
Hello and welcome.
We're all delighted
you've come today.
I'm sorry
if I'm a little bit late.
I've never been
To a television
production office before.
Is it always so busy?
Just responsible people
doing a responsible job
Putting important stories together
for the public good.
Hello.
Jim dial.
Hello.
Corky sherwood.
Miles silverberg.
I have a cold.
Why don't we sit down,
have some coffee
And get to know
each other?
There's a cake...
Of some sort.
A bundt cake.
Yes, bundt.
From the german, I believe.
Yes,
from the german.
Bundt meaning...
Cake, I suppose.
This is very thoughtful
And not at all what I expected.
I don't know what to say.
Then let me start.
I know
that talking about sex
Isn't always easy,
am I right?
But in today's society
The reality is,
people have sex
Which brings us
to the subject
Of condoms.
So why don't you go right
ahead and tell us
how you feel about that.
You know,
personnel warned me about you
But this is too much.
When I worked for spiro agnew,
all I had to do was let him
Rest his head
on my bosom.
Ms. Brown,
I'm mary ann miller.
I believe that
you're expecting me.
What? Oh, right.
Hello and welcome.
We're all delighted
that you've come here today.
Let's have cake.
Only some of it's missing.
That's very kind of you,
but I'm on a bit of a schedule.
Why don't I come
right to the point?
Maybe I should introduce you...
Oh, no,
that's not necessary.
F.y.i. Has always been one
of my favorite programs.
That's why
I was particularly disappointed
To learn that you're
promoting sex education.
We're not promoting anything.
We're simply reporting a story.
When you tell my children
how to prevent pregnancy
And sexually transmitted
diseases
You're telling them
It's all right
to have premarital sex.
Well, it's not all right
with me.
Mrs. Miller, our piece
is not biased in any way.
We've devoted a portion
To school board members
who share your point of view.
I have a cold.
Young man
These are public airwaves.
It's not your place
To educate me or my children
about sexuality.
That's my role
as a parent.
Now, all I have is stationery,
a stamp
And the right
to choose what I buy.
The sponsors have been
very willing to listen.
I can see I'm not going
to convince you here.
Why don't we go
for a little walk
By the reflecting pool?
Oh, now, murphy,
I have a much better idea.
Why don't you and I
go have some lunch
Then stop off at elizabeth arden
for a facial?
You'll find you can think
much clearer
When your pores are unclogged.
No, thank you.
There's an f.c.c. Hearing
on community standards
I'm due to attend.
In fact,
I'd better be going right now.
Mrs, miller, perhaps we do have
differing viewpoints
But let me assure you
We are responsible professionals
who care as deeply
About the morality
of this country as you do.
And furthermore, I believe
that you'll find...
Hey, hey, guys
Uncle frankie scored.
Bennies, darvon,
uppers, reds.
I've got every
kind of drug
Under the sun.
You people
are really amazing.
Is hugh downs
the only decent journalist
Left in this country?
Hello, eldin.
I wouldn't go inside
if I were you.
She's just whining
about her petty problems.
Join me in my truck
for a cappuccino?
Hi, murphy.
Do you have a cup
of herbal tea?
Miles, how did it go
in new york?
Do you know what it's like
flying on a plane
While you have a cold?
I don't know the exact medical term but
It's best described as having your teeth
pulled out through your nose.
But when the head
of the network summons you
To the really big building
So he can call you
on the carpet, you go.
On the bright side,
my ears were so plugged
I couldn't hear
half the things he was yelling at me.
Didn't you show him the cassette?
Didn't he see
how balanced the piece is?
He appreciated it,
but he still wanted to know
Why it's costing the network
$ million in lost sales.
What did you say?
I said, "$ million--
Isn't that what you spent
on the minnie pearl pilot?"
He didn't laugh.
A woman with a bun came in
and took my cup of tea away.
If we bow to every
special interest group
What's going to happen to the integrity
of network news?
That was my argument exactly
Except I was saying it to myself
in an elevator
Hurtling down to the lobby.
So I did something.
I told the president
of the network I'd resign
If we couldn't cut a deal.
So what happened?
Excuse me.
(Blowing loudly)
Will you please
stop that?
Did you cut a deal
or didn't you?
We did.
If we can get one sponsor
to show support for us, to back us
Then we can run the story.
Yes! We have one sponsor left.
I checked with al henderson
this morning.
I know about the sponsor--
consolidated baked goods.
I talked to al from the plane.
He says they're very shaky.
They're as good
as gone.
So that's it.
It's over.
I know.
I tried.
Wait a minute.
What are we doing?
We're caving.
I only caved one other time
in memory and that was because
He said he was shipping out
in the morning
To the peace corps.
I don't want to be
a quitter, murphy.
I don't.
I just want to lie down
somewhere and drain.
Consolidated baked goods--
Where's their headquarters?
Chicago, I think.
There's a plane
out tonight.
I can't go
on another plane.
I know
there's just a slim chance
But the pilot could die
And then they'd ask me
to fly the plane
And I'd have to say
"I'm not allowed
to operate heavy machinery."
Oh, god,
you're hallucinating.
Miles, you don't have
to go to chicago.
I'll go.
Believe me, when murphy brown
walks into their offices
The tide will turn.
Hello. I have a :
appointment with mr. Bryant.
I'm murphy brown.
Please, don't feel you have to make a
fuss or give me any special treatment
Just because you see me
on tv every week.
I don't have a tv.
I have a life.
Hello.
I'm mary ann miller.
I have a :
with mr. Bryant.
Well, look who it is.
I didn't expect
to see you here.
My words exactly.
Just passing
through chicago?
I think we both know
why we're here.
Look, I may not agree
with your stand, mrs. Miller,
But I have to say
I respect your commitment.
I think the people who are on
my side have a lot to learn
About the importance
of speaking up.
Why, thank you.
As far as this meeting
is concerned
You're dead meat.
I have a reputation
for getting what I want
And I want this piece to air
very, very much
So don't feel
you have to hang around here.
Have a nice trip home.
Hello. Welcome
to consolidated baked goods.
Well, thank you,
mr. Bryant.
What a pleasure.
Let me just say how great
it is to be in chicago--
The windy city.
Go cubs!
Oh, here's an f.y.i. Hat--
Cannot be bought in any store.
Well, thank you.
And you must be
mrs. Miller?
Yes.
How do you do?
I have a very
tight schedule today.
I thought we'd save time
by doing this all at once.
Any problems with that?
Nope, no problems at all.
Absolutely none.
What about you,
mary ann?
Well, I guess not.
Fine.
Let's go into my office.
Please
sit down.
I was just noticing
your flag.
It's big.
This flag was given
to me personally
By alexander haig.
Ah.
Are these
your children?
Grandchildren.
That's my grandson, dwight david
And little tricia
And their dog, milhouse.
I have two children
of my own--
My boy jason and
my little girl jennifer.
You must be very proud.
How about you, miss brown?
Uh, I don't have any children.
My neighbors do--
a boy and a girl, I think.
I only saw them from the back.
It was halloween.
They were running away.
Maybe we'd better
get on with business.
Yes. Mr. Bryant,
you're familiar
With our emmy award-winning
broadcast...
I'm very familiar with it.
How long will you keep up
this quayle bashing?
You fault the man
for everything.
You know he's not the only
person who can't name all
those little square states
In the middle of the country.
Mr. Bryant,
may I say something?
I'm a steady customer of yours.
My children never leave
for school
Without one of your products
in their lunch boxes.
She's been away for a week.
They're probably eating
the cat food by now.
Now ms. Brown,
let's stick to issues, shall we?
You were saying?
Many people share my outrage
Over the erosion of
moral standards in our country.
I am one of those people.
I feel more and more
that television
Is not acting
in a responsible manner.
There's a definite lack
of self-censorship.
It's a disturbing trend.
I'm relieved
to hear you say that.
We must set the example
for our children.
Barry goldwater
once said...
Okay, I can see
the handwriting on the wall.
I'm going to say
what I came here to say
And then you two can go have
a john wayne film festival.
Mr. Bryant,
if you allow one person, any person
To force you to bow to a boycott
You're not just hurting
me and f.y.i.
You're hurting the very
principles of free speech...
Miss brown, I'm not going to pull
my advertising from your show.
What?
You aren't?
No. But I interrupted you.
You had more to say?
Thank you, no, I'm done.
But I don't understand.
Mrs. Miller,
you're a good customer.
It's my policy
to listen to my customers.
For instance, if you felt
I should bake my cookies
With white chocolate chips,
you could write and tell me.
If I got enough letters,
I'd probably change my recipe
But I would never
change my recipe
To suit one person
or one small group of people.
So if you don't like
miss brown's segment
Do what I do every week--
turn her off.
Or change the channel
Until that nice miss sherwood
comes on.
You have that choice.
Why?
Because this, mrs. Miller,
is america.
Mr. Bryant, I want to thank you.
Don't thank me.
I hope you learned
something here.
Not all conservatives
agree on all things.
Remember that
the next time you're tempted
To lump us into one category
and take a few easy sh*ts.
You liberal firebrands
don't hold the patent
On standing up for freedom.
Mr. Bryant, as far as I'm concerned
you're making a big mistake
And I want you to know
That I still intend
to go through with my boycott.
That's too bad.
I was going to give her
some free coupons--
Cents off on any box
of fudgie buddies.
You know those things
are up to five bucks a box now.
They cost me cents.
God, I love this country!