04x02 - Double Dukes

[bunniefuu]

'Yee-haw!'

It was one of them days when
it seems nothing can go wrong.

And then, it does.

Ease it up. We're gettin' close
to Rosco's favorite speed trap.

Yeah, - .

You lookin' for trouble?

I ain't lookin' for
trouble, I already got it.

Dang gas pedal's
stuck to the floor.

'Hang on!'

Well, that's one way to fix it.

But I don't recommend it.

O-o-h! Ooh!

Oh-oh!

'There they go.'

I can't get it. Luke,
get that thing, will ya?

We got 'em this time.

Boss Hogg, this is
Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane.

Listen, the Dukes just went
whizzing by here, full sail.

- 'We've got 'em this time.'
- Rosco, you let 'em be.

Boss, you sure you got all
your cookies in the oven?

I said, I got the Dukes.

I know what you said!
Now, you listen to what I say.

And I say, let 'em be!

You know something, Flash?

Sometimes, it doesn't pay
to get out of bed, does it? No?

No.

Did you see what I saw?

I saw it. I ain't quite
believin' it, though.

I ain't either. But Ol' Boss's
got something bad in mind.

And you can bet
the farm on that.

'That armored truck
I'm tellin' you about..'

'Well, it's gonna leave the
Cutlerville National Bank'

with $ , of new
bills, at one o'clock sharp.

Then, it's gonna arrive here in
Hazzard, at my bank, at : .

Now, : , you boys hit it.
Then, you high tail out of town.

Be sure to take up trail all
the way back to Coffin Works.

- 'You wait for me there.'
- What about the cops?

That's all taken care of.

Sheriff Coltrane will make sure
you boys get a clean getaway.

Later, the Sheriff will pick up
the two young men I have in mind

to take the rap for
this whole thing.

Are you sure this is gonna work?

Work? Ha ha ha.

Like a charm.

All we need now is that
special delivery package

we're waitin' on.

Yeah, it should be
here anytime now.

So, why don't you boys just
step inside here and relax?

Have a drink.

Half price.

Oh, you always were
a big sport, Mr. Hogg.

Well, the sky's the
limit for friends and I.

Seem kinda funny to you
we ain't hearin' no siren?

Maybe Rosco is
sick or somethin'?

- That's why he didn't chase us?
- I don't know.

As soon as you finish doing
this we'll go take a look-see.

It's done. I'll pass
on the look-see.

Why?

Don't think it's a good idea to
look a gift-horse in the mouth.

Round her up.

- Oh yeah?
- 'Yeah.'

- Well, good for you.
- 'Fantastic.'

- Hey, Ray! How's everythin'?
- Fine.

'So, listen, I saw
that no hitter.'

You know, I'd rather watch
her walk, than eat fried chicken.

- Hi, there.
- Hey there, good lookin'.

How 'bout joinin' my buddy
and me here for a beer?

Well, thanks, but no thanks.

Let go of my hand. Let
go. Hey, you're hurtin' me.

Listen, I'll tell you what.

I'll trade you your
hand for a beer.

Okay, you got it.

There you go.

Let me go!

Hey!

Looks like I got me
a feisty one, huh?

Hey! Don't be
doin' her like that.

I'd say it's none of
your business there, pal.

You know somethin'? I
just made this my business.

- Let 'em pay it out.
- Easy, easy, easy.

Go on.

Boy, I can't wait to get
in and wet my whistle.

Just don't load more
than you can carry out.

Me? Ha ha ha.

After you.

Holy smoke!

Daisy, what's goin' on?

Oh, these fellows started
gettin' smart with me.

- Cooter told them to...
- Hey, watch out!

Cooter, much obliged,
we'll take it from here.

Hey, y'all be my guest.

Alright!

Nice link, Luke.

What's goin' on?

Oh!

Alright you... o-o-h!

Just freeze it! Freeze it now!

Freeze!

Ooh!

Alright!

Alright, you Dukes.

I'm arrestin' you for
tearing up Boss' property

and for making me
sh**t the chandelier.

Wait a minute, Sheriff. Bo and
Luke had nothin' to do with it.

This fellow here, actin'
like a bull in a cow pasture.

- Yeah, what she said.
- Yeah.

Uh, uh, uh, Rosco, didn't
you hear Daisy Duke?

You can't arrest them
two decent young men

for defending the lady's honor.

Yeah, but, you see...

Where's your sense of chivalry?

Alright then, I'll
arrest those two.

You can't arrest them
two decent young men

for having a little
harmless fun.

- But you just...
- Where's your sense of humor?

Boss, listen, I'm
just as chivalrous

and humorous as you are.

All well then. Alright, come
on. I'll give you a few lessons.

Now, everybody,
just kiss and make up.

And Daisy, beer for
everybody on the house.

I ain't believing that.

And you're paying
for the chandelier.

On the house? I never heard
you give anything away in your life.

Hey, y'all.

You ever feel like
you're hearing things?

Yeah, right about now.

Well, that ain't the Boss Hogg
we all knew and despise, fellas.

- Yeah, I believe you.
- He got somethin' goin'.

Boss, I think you've
gone squirrelly. Free beer?

Listen, have you contemplated
going to these head doctors?

'Cause I think you got
a couple of screws loose

and you're done
fell off the shelf.

- You do, huh?
- Yes.

Rosco, let me tell you, I
know exactly what I'm doing.

If you do, why didn't you
let me arrest the Dukes?

'I'll give 'em
days in a slammer.'

When I get through with
what I got in store for 'em

them boys are gonna
be doing years.

Ow!

I threw out my back.

- Is there anything I can do?
- You already did it.

- It's all your fault.
- Well, I wasn't even near you.

No, but that mutt of yours
parked a carcass in my chair.

Well, that ain't Flash's fault.

She doesn't have a chair of
her own here in the Boar's Nest.

- Do something!
- Oh!

If my back was out a whack, I'd
never ask Rosco to do anything.

He just bites. Anyhow, Bo and
Luke headed back to the farm.

Good news! Good news, Boss.

See what I got
you, little buddy.

I've got you... a hot water
bottle for your back here.

- Yeah.
- Just lean forward now.

- Just lean it forward.
- Yeah.

Don't do that.

Just lean it forward,
I've to get it back here.

I've got a nice hot water
bottle right back here.

Now, just lie back.

Oh!

Let it go coursing through
your achin' little fat back.

How's that feel?

Rosco, you moron, it's coursing
through the seat of my pants.

You must've left
the cap off the bottle.

Oh, let me check.

- Let me see.
- That's what I did.

- Oh, look at that!
- Don't get it on me.

Listen, Boss...

Don't stand there
like a wart on a frog.

Help me out of my soaking
pants, will ya? I can't stand it.

Now, that's Miz Tisdale
of the U.S. Postal Service.

And she's a case.

She took up bike riding

when her doctor
told her to slow down.

I'll get these, they'll drip dry
and they'll be dry in no time.

There's somebody out there.

- Somebody knocked.
- Oh, well, who is it?

Oh.

Howdy, J.D.

Got a parcel for
you. Special delivery.

Oh glory! It finally arrived.

Well, put it on the
table, Miz Tisdale.

Rosco, turn me around, will you?

Yeah.

You gotta sign
for it first, J.D.

Postal regulations, you know.

Oh, I... Rosco, take these.
I told you to hang 'em up.

Put me up in this chair so
I can sign for... this thing.

Here you go. J.D. Hogg.

And I need to see
some identification.

Identification? Well,
you know who I am.

Sorry. No I.D., no delivery.

Postal Regulation
says return to sender.

Alright. Rosco, give Miz
Tisdale the wallet out of my pants.

Come on. Come
on. Give it to her.

There, see my driver's
license with my face on it?

I've seen more flatterin'
pictures in my post office.

Gimme that.

Your legs don't do
nothin' for me, neither.

Dang!

Ha, ha, ha, ha... ooh! Ooh!

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
At last! At last! At last!

- It's finally arrived.
- What?

Rosco, the day of days has come.

Ooh, it's come.

Yeah, seven months
of waitin' and $ , .

But it's gonna be worth
every penny and more.

Are you kiddin' me? You
paid $ , for this little box?

- Yes.
- What's in there?

The scam of scams.
The sting of stings.

Ha, h, ha. I'll show ya.
Hang them pants up.

I'll put them right here.

Turk, Moody, come in here.

Give me that.

Yeah, come on.

Boys, look at that.
It's finally arrived.

Ain't that nice?

Now, I'll tell you what.
Let's have a dry run, eh?

Go on.

Rosco, prepare
yourself to see a show

of pure Hogg genius! Ha, ha, ha.

Oh!

- Boys?
- Yeah.

How long are you gonna be
working on the General here?

We're just about done
now, Uncle Jesse. Why?

I need a spool of barbwire.
Could you pick it up for me?

No problem. Besides,
that'll give us a good excuse

to poke around, see what
Boss and Rosco's up to.

- You want to drive?
- Looks that way.

You boys be careful.

Remember what
happened to that curious cat.

What happened to that
curious cat, anyways?

Well..

I guess I could put 'em on now.

Oh, they are
still a little damp.

Somebody's knocking
at the back door.

Yeah, I know. It's my back
that went out, not my hearing.

- Well, go open up.
- Well, I'll just go open up.

Bo and Luke Duke,
what the heck are you...

Haven't you done enough
trouble? Will you put me down?

Listen, I'm serious
now. I'll knock you..

What are you laughing at?

Tell him, boys.

Tell me, boys.

- I'm not Bo.
- And I'm not Luke.

Are you kiddin' me?
You think I'm nuts?

I know Luke when I see him
and I know Bo when I see him.

You are a little hoarse.

Go on, show him, boys.

You... you're gonna tear..

Oh... that's gonna..

Ooh! Ooh-ee! Ooh-ee!
That's... you, too.

Great gobs of
galloping goose grease!

Am I seein' what I think I see?

Yeah, they're messin' with.
They really had you fooled.

Yeah, but gee, how
did they do that?

Alright, alright.
Come on, come on.

- Come on over here.
- You... you... naughty, naughty.

Yeah, I found this
young fellow in the theatre

who makes up them things
from folk's photographs.

So I got me couple of
pictures of Bo and Luke Duke..

And that did the trick.

Now come here. Grab that
top, will ya? Come on, pull on it.

Let me show you
somethin'. Look at that.

That's the General Lee.

It's an exact duplicate.

It looks just like it too.

Sure it does.

I found a fellow to
make up this thing too.

Cover it up.

You know something, Boss?
You know what I love about you?

You've always got some
devious little scheme

in the fat little head
of yours. I love it!

I don't know what
it is, but I love it.

Bo and Luke were
returning with the wire.

And their future looked
just about as bright

as the only chicken
in the hen house

and the preacher
coming Sunday for dinner.

- You got it ready?
- Yup.

'What the heck is that?'

'I don't know. Let's get outta
here before they throw another.'

You better not stop now.

'I can't see where
the heck I'm goin'.'

'Hang on!'

Friends and neighbors, I don't
think that jump was planned.

'Think we're airborne.'

- 'I found it.'
- Let's get rid of it.

Luke, think somebody
made these windows..

Bo..

'...a might too small. Howdy.'

Listen, Boss.

Uh, I get percent of
that armored car loot, right?

Unh-unh-unh, you get percent.

But... uh... .

Uh, and a half.

Boss, now that's not fair.

The last time you said that
the next deal would be - .

I did? - ? I never
could've done that.

- Alright, I'll tell you what.
- What?

- I'll toss you for it.
- Oh, okay.

How about that? So
that'll be fair and square.

Just give me quarter.

- Quarter. Let me see.
- Mm-hmm.

- I got it right there.
- Alright.

Now, heads you get
percent, tails you get .

Tails. You lose. You get .

- You said .
- I did?

Funny, I don't
recollect that at all.

- Well, you did.
- I'll tell you what I'll do.

I'll give you the benefit of the
doubt. You can get percent.

Oh, I appreciate..

Boss, will you give
me back my quarter?

- Hmm?
- Give me back my quarter.

- You sure are greedy.
- Well, it's my quarter.

Alright, alright. Just a minute.

Here, take your quarter if
it means so much to you.

Well, it's just..

'Hogg, you got your ears on?'

Oh, oh, this is, uh..

- Sheriff Rosco...
- Unh-unh! That's for me.

J.D. Hogg here.

'I hear you knocking.
Come on in.'

The birds are in their cages.

Ha, ha, ha. Ain't
that good news?

Yeah, alright, now you boys
know what to do next, don't you?

So you just get
to it. Over and out.

' - , Hogg.'

Dat dat dat dat dat da!

Now then, I'm just gonna
have to clean out my safe here

to get it ready for
all that new money.

All that new money.

Oh!

My back. I threw it out.

- Can't move?
- 'No. Unh-unh.'

Oh, you sure you can't move?

- No, not an inch!
- Good, good.

That's a shame, you know.
I had mine lock up one time.

- Oh, did you?
- Mm-hmm.

Oh my! Can't you
do something for me?

- No, not right this minute.
- Why not?

- 'Cause...
- My ice cream is all melting.

- No, it ain't.
- No?

Well, while Ol' Boss'
back was going out

Bo and Luke's backs
were to the wall.

You mind tellin' us
what this is about?

Yeah, we mind.

Did I tell you what a pleasure
it is being captured by y'all?

- What do we do with them now?
- Put 'em in dead storage.

'Get it? Coffin
Works, dead storage.'

You know, them boys
are about funny as finding

a rattlesnake in your bed.

- It's looking good, Daisy.
- Thanks.

You know, those boys
should've been back here

an hour ago with that barbwire.

It ain't like them
to dilly dally

when I send 'em for something.

Uncle Jesse, they'll be
here in or minutes.

Don't you worry.

Oh, they'd better be.

Down in Cutlerville the
wheels were already in motion

as the armored truck set
out for Boss' bank in Hazzard.

Ooh-ooh! Ha ha.

This is how you'll
feel. Very good! Good!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rosco, that ringing ain't
in your head, it's the phone.

Boss, I only got two hands.

Well, use one of 'em
to pick it up, will you?

Oh, that's it.

Hello?

- It's for you.
- Huh?

- Yeah.
- Alright, give it to me.

- Here it is.
- J.D. Hogg speaking.

Oh, it did, when?

Oh! Ha, ha, ha.
Right on schedule.

Alright, bye now.
Rosco, I'm through with it.

- Ah-h!
- Ooh, I'm sorry about that.

Alright, come on, come
on. Get on, get on with it.

That armored truck is due at
my bank in exactly minutes.

Ha, ha. I really
outdid myself this time.

Thanks to my very own Duke boys.

Oh, that's good!

I don't like it. I
just don't like it.

My corn hurts and we ain't
heard nothin' from them boys.

They should've been
back here a long time ago.

Why don't you
raise 'em on the CB?

I tried, they ain't
got their ears on.

I could call Cooter. Maybe
he's heard from them.

Mabel, would you get me
Cooter over to the garage?

Hold your horses.

Hazzard Garage. Cooter
Davenport speaking.

Cooter, this is Jesse Duke.

You haven't seen anything
of the boys, have you?

No, sir, I haven't. What's up?

I don't know, and I
don't like not knowing.

I'll tell you what, you
keep your eyes open

and Daisy and
me will be by there.

'Yes, sir.'

Let's get goin'.

Better get this stuff
on and get out of here.

Oh, this baby's tight.

- 'Bo?'
- 'Yeah?'

'Let's rock these
coffins back and forth.'

'We can bang 'em, get 'em on
the floor and bust out of here.'

'I got nothing to lose, but
a mouth full of splinters.'

'Okay, go for it.'

Let's go.

Well, the firecracker
was lit at both ends.

And heating up in the middle.

And as Boss kept a
close eye on the clock

time was running
out for Bo and Luke.

Hey, you're leanin' on me.

No, I ain't. You're
leanin' on me.

Well, whichever. Go
the other way, alright?

The other way.

Here goes.

Alright.

- 'You okay, Luke?'
- You bet.

Come on, Bo, roll over here.

Right on schedule.

Bo, Luke, do you read
me? This is Shepherd.

So, when and Jesse couldn't
raise the boys on the CB

they headed for town.

Now, y'all know what
they're gonna see.

Let's do it.

Alright, put 'em up.

Now, don't nobody
move till we're out of sight.

Uncle Jesse!

Pull over here.

Egg-sucking dog.

Am I seein' what I'm seein'?

I was just about to
ask you the same thing.

Go on, let's get after them.

I wanna see what
this is all about.

Don't stand there
gaping! Get in there!

The Duke boys just
robbed the armored truck.

Go!

They must still be here.
Let's make a run for it.

Go.

Now y'all don't reckon
they're gonna run smack dab

in the middle of their
own chase, do you?

I'm taking odds.

Alright, you make it look
good like we're really after him.

Don't let Jesse or Daisy catch
'em or we blow the whole thing.

- Oh!
- What's wrong?

- No, no, my back.
- You got a lock?

Yeah, something like
that. Move it out, go ahead.

Go after 'em.

Remind me next time
to get a taller casket.

- Where are we headed now?
- Back to Hazzard.

Those guys got something in
mind for us, I ain't sure what it is.

With all that heavy
a*tillery they got

we're gonna need some
help talking 'em out of it.

Well, as Bo and
Luke headed for town

their doubles were
heading the opposite way.

Not knowing that
Daisy, Jesse and Cooter

are right on their tails.

And Ol' Rosco was
wringing up the rear.

As usual.

Uh-huh, that's
what I was afraid of.

- What the heck are they doing?
- I don't know.

But I can't go around
or through them.

Now even if they
do get through this

how'd you like
to try to explain it.

Let's hope General's
flying good today.

'Yee-haw!'

Alright.

- Hang on.
- Okay.

Well, as Bo and
Luke was headed back

to make sure
everybody was alright

and to tell Rosco about them
fellas at the ol' Coffin Works

the sign of General Lee heading
toward him kind of threw Rosco

into a bit of a tizzy.

You see he thought..

They must've popped their
course coming back like this.

I ain't believing this.
You see what I see?

They're going right
into Rosco's arms.

What are you doing? You
ain't supposed to be doing this.

- Doing what?
- You know.

- We do?
- Yeah, you do.

Well, if we know and you know..

What are we whispering about?

We're whispering,
so they won't know.

What are you doing?

- You're the Dukes.
- Right. Ha, yeah.

Now, just who is it we're
supposed to look like?

You're the Dukes that
robbed that armored car

in front of Boss Hogg's bank.

And you're under arrest.

We're what?

Now, hold there, Rosco. I'm sure
these boys got some explanation

for doing what they did.

What we did!

Well, you do have some
explanation, don't you?

I ain't sure what you're talking
about, but we was miles away

from here for the
last three hours.

Three hours tied up
in the Coffin Works.

Yeah, which means we
ain't had time to rob no bank.

Hush! Hush! Well,
we got a witness.

Jesse, he saw you
with his own eye balls.

Well, now, I..

Didn't you, Jesse?

Boys, there ain't nothing in
the world I wouldn't do for you

but I can't lie.

- I did see you.
- You see.

Cooter and I thought...

We thought that we saw you.

Listen, y'all. Me and
Bo ain't lied to you before

and we ain't about to start now.

We was nowhere near
that bank anytime today.

Oh, tiddly toddly.
Tell it to the judge.

Put your hands behind you,
I'm gonna cuff you and stuff you.

Rosco, you're not gonna
arrest my cousins, are you?

You're gonna get me
so upset I'm gonna faint!

I don't blame old Rosco.
I'd have bought that too.

You get out of the way.

Are you nuts? Don't put Daisy's
body in front of my vehicle.

Rosco, can't you see,
the lady has fainted!

- Rosco, do your duty!
- She's obstructing justice.

That stuff back there
make any sense to you?

Not a heck of a lot.

Daisy, Cooter and Uncle Jesse
think they saw us at the bank.

Uh, something's goin' on.
Maybe they all need glasses.

Maybe there's two guys
runnin' around lookin' just like us.

If things weren't bad
enough now, well, just wait.

You see this here truck had
been hauling in industrial glue

and was leaking it's
cargo all over the road.

Are you getting the picture?

Sign says the road's closed.

- I see it.
- Hey, hey, let's stop.

Oh, Cletus. Oh, I sure hope
you know what you're doin'.

Of course, I know
what I'm doing.

I watched one of them
chiropractors down in Atlanta.

He said manipulation
is the best thing

to snap the back
back into place.

If this don't help me,
I'm gonna manipulate

your head with my cane.

This is Sheriff Rosco Coltrane
calling his little buddy, Boss.

Uh, you got your ears on?

Come on, stop that
and give me that thing.

Rosco, this is J.D. Hogg
here. You hold on for a sec.

Cletus, you them
earplugs there on the desk?

- These?
- Yeah, put them in your ears.

- Well, Cousin Boss...
- Don't back talk me!

Just do like I say.

And don't stop manipulating me

until I'm through
manipulating Rosco.

You got 'em in good and tight?

Goodnight? It's
not even dark yet.

Never mind.

Eh, Rosco, here I am again.

Now, did you do everything
you were supposed to do?

Well, that's a
negatory, little buddy.

Uh, they got clean away,
in fact Bo and Luke did too.

Oh! Alright, alright, alright,
Rosco, now you just listen.

You put out an APB on them
Duke boys right away, you hear?

And then you get your
tail over here on the double.

Well, Boss, you see,
it's not really that simple.

Uh, you see, I'm up
here at Clear Creek Drive.

Would you tell Cooter
to bring his tow truck out..

Rosco, what ain't that simple?

Boss?

Rosco, this is J.D. Hogg!
Now, what ain't that simple?

Cletus!

Oh, oh, oh, you're done.

- I'm sorry.
- Cletus! No, no.

- I got another idea.
- No, no, no!

No, no, no!

You gotta get Cooter! Get
Cooter to get Rosco out!

What's the matter? Are you deaf?

Oh, no, don't do this.

- Ah! You're hurting me!
- Just relax.

I'm gonna hurt you.

Ha, ha, ha, how's your back?

You say these guys
looked exactly like us, huh?

Oh, yeah, they
were dead ringers.

They had an exact
duplicate of the General.

Uncle Jesse and I thought
we were chasing you

until you passed us
going towards town.

I couldn't believe my eyes.

You suppose they went
to the Coffin Works?

Probably.

I bet they're mixed up with
the fellas who tied us up.

That's what I was thinking.

We owe ourselves a
trip to the Coffin Works.

In case they didn't go that way

Uncle Jesse and I will
check out Chestnut Trail.

And I better run up
to Indian Springs.

Sounds good to me.
We'll be excused?

- You go ahead.
- Alright.

Daisy and me will rid up here.

- Okay.
- You want some of it?

- 'Yeah.'
- Ha ha ha.

'Take care!'

Hogg ain't gonna be too
happy them Duke boys

escapin' before they
were supposed to.

Don't much matter now.

Besides, with Hogg
not able to say anything

and 'em boys on the loose..

I don't see much
sense in sharing this

with Hogg and the sheriff.

'Not when we can keep it all.'

Maybe hit another bank or
two and lay it off on 'em Dukes.

Moody, I sure like
the way you think.

I'll carry the dough. You
get them mask and wigs.

We ain't through with them
until them Duke boys get caught.

Now remember, Rosco, I want
you to arrest Turk and Moody too.

Oh, oh, for robbing
that armored truck, right?

Why don't you give that brain

back to the pinhead
you took it from. No!

So we won't have to split
any of the money with 'em.

You're gonna have to rig other
charges against Turk and Moody.

Oh. Oh, you know that's
what I love about you.

You sneaky little rascal you

double-crossing those doubles.

Well, it's my solemn duty
as a law-abiding citizen.

After all, them boys is crooks.

Ah! Rosco! No, no, no, save me!

Now y'all better pay attention.

You see that there General
Lee coming at you... ain't.

We use this here
fake General Lee

for a couple more bank
heists. Then dump it.

While this here General Lee, is.

And is looking for
the one that ain't.

Except it's on the wrong road.

But Daisy and Jesse ain't.

There they are.

'Yeah, that's them, alright.'

'See if you can raise
them on the CB.'

Bo, Luke, we found 'em.

Out on Chestnut
Trail heading west.

Hang tight, Daisy.
We'll meet you there.

They're part of that Duke clan.

How did they catch us..

Ain't nothin' gonna happen
as long as we got this.

'You sh**t out the tires.'

Hey, they're sh**ting! Watch it!

Watch it!

Now I ask you, with
the boys sh**ting at you

what would you do
if you caught 'em?

Slack off!

Pull over!

Are you alright?

I'm a little shaken
up, Uncle Jesse.

Get over here.

See if you can
raise Bo and Luke.

First you gotta be
able to see something.

Bo, Luke, we lost 'em.

Now, Rosco, remember

not one word about
arresting Turk and Moody

until after I get that
money away from 'em.

You know, Boss,
I was just thinking.

Oh, yeah? I knew I
smelled something burnin'.

Uh, listen if Turk and Moody,
they don't claim their share

of that money, that means
there's more for us to split.

Ah! You got more
nerve than a toothache.

Their share of that money is
gonna be used to pay me back

for my expenses.

But, but... One
more but outta you

and I'll but your butt
across the county line.

Now you just see how that APB
on Bo and Luke is coming along.

Uh, this is Sheriff
Rosco P. Coltrane

'of Hazzard County
calling Sheriff Little'

'over at Chickasaw
County. Come on.'

This is Little here back at you.

Any signs of that
General Lee? Come back.

Even if there was,
they'd be in cuffs already.

Uh, just in case
y'all lost track.

Them is the bad guys.

Looks like we
picked up a smokey.

I ain't deaf. We'd
better get into these.

They'll think it our real faces.

Turk! Moody!

Where are you?

It's me, J.D. Hogg!

And me, Rosco P. Col..

Gave me the creepies. Eee.

Rosco, them boys should've
been back here long time ago.

You know, Boss,
I was just thinking

I didn't see the twin of
the General Lee outside.

Dang! I'm beginning to get a
funny feeling in my stomach.

Well, I don't doubt it. The
way you chow down, you just...

Ah! I wasn't talking about food.

- I sure could use some.
- Yeah, I could use...

Oh, I'm talking about
my , simoleons.

I think them dirty crooks
stole my stolen money.

Little here to all
Chickasaw deputies.

I'm in pursuit of General
Lee on heading east.

'All cars join in pursuit.'

He ain't after us.

That means he's
tailing our look-alikes.

That road they're on will
take 'em across the county line.

If we go across that, we'd
be breaking our probation.

Plus wanted for
armed robbery too.

We got no choice,
we gotta cut 'em off.

Lost Sheep to Shepherd.
Lost Sheep to Shepherd.

Hey, what you got, Bo?

Sheriff Little has our boys
pinned down at moving east.

- 'Why don't we join the party?'
- - !

Little here to all
Chickasaw deputies.

'I repeat, I got the
suspects on heading east'

'and I'm in pursuit.'

- Ooh, that's good news.
- Uh-uh. No, no. No, it ain't.

No, it ain't.

On account of we don't know
which suspects he's pursuing.

We don't know if it's
the real Duke boys

or my phony Duke
boys, Turk and Moody.

And if it is Turk and Moody

Sheriff Little's gonna
get all that money.

'Oh, that is bad news.'

'Not only that, but if
the sheriff finds out'

that Turk and Moody is
wearing them false faces

isn't he gonna trace those
masks right back to you?

- Uh-uh-uh-uh.
- Uh-uh-uh-uh?

To us. Yeah.

But don't leave me here.

Get, get, get in here.

Gotta be able to save some
time cutting across Clear Creek.

- Ha, ha, ha. Bingo.
- Alright.

Two of 'em?

I gotta be working well
out of full set of lights.

And that's a big - .

Bo and Luke.

That sheriff behind 'em can't
help but smell somethin' out.

As long as he doesn't
know which one is which

I think we'll be home free.

Take that cut off up ahead.

Can you picture anything crazier

than driving around Hazzard
pretending to be Bo and Luke?

If the law don't get
you, Bo and Luke would.

Lost Sheep to Shepherd.
Lost Sheep to Shepherd.

Our boys just turned off
east into Jackson Forest.

You heard me, I got
two General Lees now.

And I want both of 'em!

Hey, there they
are. There they are!

You want me to follow 'em

or just drive
straight on to prison?

Look, we ain't licked yet.

If we can help Turk
and Moody escape

we'll swear Sheriff Little
had double-dished us.

- They're gainin' on us.
- I'm goin' as fast as I can.

Whoops!

- Oh! Ah!
- 'I can't see.'

Stop then, you dodo.

Hey, look, Rosco,
look, over there.

- 'Over there's Bo and Luke.'
- Oh, yeah. Alright, alright.

'Well, cut 'em off, dodo.'

We don't want 'em to
catch Turk and Moody.

Which one is Turk and Moody?

The ones that look
like Bo and Luke.

What does Bo and Luke look like?

Oh, like themselves!

Then what's Turk
and Moody look...

Don't argue with me!

Cut 'em off or you'll
have years up the river

to figure out which is which.

- Ooh, ooh.
- Come on.

Crash Ooh. Ooh.

Crash

'Oh, no! Now you
did it! Give it to me!'

I'll k*ll you!

Shepherd to Lost Sheep.
Shepherd to Lost Sheep.

If you could herd 'em west,
we could maybe corral them

if you know what I mean.

That's a big - on Shepherd.

We'll turn 'em around as
soon as we catch up to 'em.

'Shepherd, I'll give
you the five count.'

- .

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One!

If y'all liked that,
you should've seen

ol' Bo play linebacker
for Hazzard High.

He plum wore out two boar
hogs as tackling dummies.

Well, the Double Dukes were
caught and taken away to jail.

Boss got himself off the hook

by swearin' that he'd
ordered them Dukes masks

as a practical joke
for next Halloween.

How Turk and Moody
got a hold of 'em

and the bogus General Lee,
he hadn't the slightest idea.

Boss is slick.

Bo and Luke were not only
cleared of all the charges

but they got the reward money
from the Armored Truck Company

and they gave it to the
Hazzard County Orphanage.

They sure would've liked
to bought that bogus General

for the spare parts, but it
was impounded for evidence.

One set of Bo and Luke
and one General Lee

is enough for Hazzard
County anyway.

So, with just a single
pair of Duke Boys

things were working
normally in Hazzard County

including Boss'
celebrity speed trap.

Folks, you've just heard

another bowl full of
wonderful special attraction.

Let me just say that you

are just as sweet as
you sing, Miss Fargo.

Wait a minute.
Don't go off in a huff.

Well, listen, you already

squared the bail on
your speeding ticket.

Speeding ticket?

Now, I've had to
sing for my supper

but I've never had
to sing for blackmail.

Ooh, ooh, ooh. Naughty,
naughty now, and not blackmail.

Listen, you watch your
language, young lady

or I'll have you
singing for three weeks.

No, honey, he doesn't mean
that at all. Justice has been done.

- You're free to go.
- Free.

Thank you.

I hope you come down and
sing for us again some time.