03x22 - The Hack of Hazzard

[bunniefuu]

That's the Dukes doing
some fancy tire tickling.

No, they ain't playing
tag, they're going to work.

Yup, that's what I said, work.

For Miz Tisdale, who runs the
post office and a cab company.

Once a year, Miz Tisdale
goes to visit her mama

out in the country.

And Daisy always fills in
for her at the post office..

While Bo and Luke run
the Hazzard Cab Company.

Hey, Miz Tisdale.

The Dukes reporting
for duty, ma'am.

Nobody's reporting for nothin'
till nobody takes a number

and identifies himself.

- Yes, ma'am.
- Yeah, okay.

Number one?

Yes, ma'am, that's
me, Miz Tisdale.

Identification, please.

Yes, ma'am, Daisy Duke.

Daisy, these are the rules.
Everybody abides by them.

Even Uncle Jesse, God bless him.

You got some instructions
for me, Miz Tisdale?

Number two. Luke Duke.

I know you're all
gonna do a fine job.

After all, Uncle
Jesse did raise you.

Yes, ma'am. We
wouldn't let you down.

Bo Duke, ma'am. Number three.

Identification.

- Come on, Bo.
- Number three.

Okay.

'Let me help you, ma'am.'

Let me get that for you.

- Here you go.
- Thank you, children.

- For helping out.
- Yeah.

-Goodbye, kids
-Bye, Miz Tisdale.

Have a good time.

What's the matter?

Ain't you all ever seen a
lady wearing a crash helmet?

Well, look at that.

Boss got himself a hibachi.

Which is a barbecue,
Japanese style.

So, he must be fixing to make
himself some chitlins teriyaki.

And in concluding these
remarks, let me just say..

That either your road
revenue goes up..

Or your paychecks
are coming down.

Buzzard on a buzz
saw, Cousin Boss.

What if nobody's
breaking the law?

Cletus, every single
person driving a car

is breaking the law..

Has broken the law,
will break the law..

Or is thinking of
breaking the law.

Sheriff Coltrane, are
we boring you over here?

No, Boss, 'cause
we're not listening.

Flash and me, we
found two suspects here..

That stole a $ ,
gold certificate.

Yeah, but I'm talking about
something important. Money.

We're talking about money.
We're talking about reward.

If these fugitives come over
here, near Hazzard County...

Rosco, those suspects
got as much chance

of showing up in Hazzard
County, with that gold certificate

as you have of staying in
that chair another two seconds.

Now go!

Anyway, we can't
stand the smoke.

Come on.

Oh, look what you've done!

Here, Boss.

Oh!

- Go, go, will you?
- Come on.

We got more
important things to do.

We're not firefighters anyway.

If things in Hazzard
are going right

then old Boss is wrong.

And them gold
certificates will show up

sure as grits are groceries.

J.J., why don't you
slow down a little bit?

I'd like to be rich in this
life, not the next one.

They're gonna be having
posters out on us soon.

Sooner us and
that gold certificate

gets out of the state,
the better. Put it away.

What did I tell you?

It don't matter none
if there ain't been

a call for a taxi in Hazzard..

Since gas was cents and
Daisy was queen of the prom.

But when Miz Tisdale
got the cab charter..

She signed a paper promising to

own and operate
that cab service..

Business or not.

How come y'all are cleaning
it up? Nobody ever ride in it.

I can hardly
stand to look at it.

Cooter, the back seat in
this thing is all messed up.

You reckon you can take it
and get it fixed so people can sit?

Yeah. Drop it
down at the station.

I'll steam-clean it and
take it to Uncle Charlie.

He'll re-upholster it for you.

Do me a favor though, will you?

Get everything that wiggles,
crawls, or bites out of there.

- Yeah, sure.
- Adios.

Nobody would figure to find
a speed trap on a dirt road.

Except in Hazzard.

Cletus is the trap.

I told you to slow down, J.J.

Now you've done
picked up the local law.

It's only temporary.
Put that away.

If he catches us with
this gold certificate

then we'll be in
lots of trouble.

Put your home address on
that envelope and stamp it.

Maybe we can get to a
mailbox before he gets to us.

Construction site. Ha!
Got them boxed, now.

I'll get these two and get
my raise, or my name is..

Mud.

That's good driving.

Look out!

Well, looks like you
got off pretty lucky..

Considering you was on
the wrong side of the road.

Our radiator didn't
get off all that lucky.

You got yourself a
customer, if you want.

Reckon you could fix it?

I could fix anything but I
already got myself a customer.

I'll pick you up on the
way back, could be a while.

Is there any way to get to town?

Come to think of it, there is.

I'll call you a V cab.

She's all dressed
up, no place to go.

Breaker , I might be
crazy but I ain't dumb.

Crazy Cooter coming
at you, anybody home

at the Hazzard Cab
Company? Come on.

Yeah, Crazy C, we got you.

We got that thing
running smoother

than -year-old 'shine.

That's a good thing. You won't
believe this, I got you a fare.

Couple of dudes out
here on Shady Lane..

About a half mile
east of Orchard Way.

And they look like real
big tippers. I'm gone.

I've never known Cooter
to drink on the job before.

- He sounded sober to me.
- Let's go.

It's been years. We ain't
never had a fare before.

They ought to be
here in no time.

Get the envelope.

Hi, Diane.

Daisy?

Thought I'd stop by and
see how you was getting on.

Kindly take a number, sir.

In case you got trouble
with your eyes, I ain't a sir.

I'm your Uncle Jesse.

Nobody is anybody until that
nobody takes a number. Now?

You know, If you keep
imitating Miz Tisdale..

You're gonna be the first old
maid in the Duke family tree.

Alright.

There's my number.

And there's my ID, right there.

Driver's license, Hazzard
County, Jesse Duke.

Can I help you?

- Can I take you to lunch?
- Yes.

Hey, look up there.

Alright, this is gonna
be a day to remember.

Good morning, gentlemen.

And where can we
take you this fine day?

You could take us to
town if you got one in here.

- Yes, sir. We got a town.
- Yup.

Come on. Get right in, sir.

Sorry about that rear seat.
We're planning to get it fixed.

Hang on.

And the intrepid Cletus
speed trap strikes again.

If he don't get something soon

he'll have to hang
around the roller rink.

There's $ for
you, if you lose him.

Save your money.

What my cousin's trying
to say is we'll lose him

but it's on the house.

It's a little game we
play, just hold tight.

Say, you all in trouble?

You might say
that, with our wives.

We stayed over a
day at the convention.

It looks like they're
gaining on us.

I hate to say it, Bo.

But this darn thing
ain't gonna outrun him.

If we can make it
to Duggan's Dump

I bet we still got
a fighting chance.

And there's Duggan's Dump.

That ought to even
things up with Boss.

That's kind of a dirty
trick to play on Cletus.

Yeah we should have saved
that one for Roscoe, huh?

Oh, good, good!

Oh, I love it. I love it.

This will be a doozy.
Write this up, here.

Let's see.

Truck.

That'll be , on the nose.

My cousin's talking
cents. No pun intended.

Pay the man.

Go on with it.

Stop it.

Alright, you two, out.
You two, just stay put.

You think he made us?

I'm not about to take any
chances. Give me the envelope.

Don't you thr*aten me.

Do I know you two?

No, sir. It's our first
time in Hazzard.

Of course I don't.

I know every face in Hazzard
County and you're none of them.

Alright. Get on your way.

I've got business
with these two jokers.

Alright, you two ruffians,
get out of there. I'm serious.

I like that horn.

Don't crowd me, don't crowd me.

I'm writing you a citation here.

Let's see what
we got here. Okay.

Driving with a license
plate as old as you are.

There's no plate at all there.

And you got windshield
wipers that don't work.

- The wipers work fine.
- It's your word against mine.

I've done run out
of these citations.

I'm gonna get some more.

What's the matter, ain't
you got enough on us?

Are you kidding me? When I
get through giving you citations..

This sheriff's gonna
have writer's cramp.

I love it. I love it.

Funny guy.

By the time he's
finished with all that

we'll be as old
and senile as he is.

Let's not give him a chance.
Let's slide out of here easy.

We can bring that seat to
Cooter, like we promised.

Those guys just drove
off with all our goods.

Relax, man. The way that
sheriff was eyeballing us...

that certificate is
safer where it's at.

When our car's ready,
we'll go pick it up.

- Ready? Go.
- I got it.

Y'all do remember what's
in the back seat, don't you?

Not in here. Flash,
help me find that.

If you're looking for your
brains, they're out to lunch.

And dinner..

And breakfast tomorrow.

Listen, Boss. I'll
tell you one thing.

Those Duke boys are sneaky.

But I've seen those
two fellas before.

Yeah, you've seen them
Dukes every day of your life.

Mostly from the rear.

No, I ain't talking about
those piddly-addly Duke boys.

I'm talking about
these two desperadoes

that stole that
$ , gold certificate.

- You are?
- I saw them today.

In the back of Miz Tisdale's cab
and the Duke boys were driving.

- You sure?
- Sure as I know my own name.

I was hoping you were surer
than that, let me think about this.

Yeah, I got it.

Them two desperadoes, knowing
there were posters out on them.

Was afraid of being
caught with the certificates.

So they made arranged with
their confederates, the Duke g*ng..

To meet them on the road
and slip the certificate to them.

Listen, Boss, you don't
have to worry about it

because Flash and me...
we'll catch those desperadoes

and cuff them and stuff...

Forget all about
them desperadoes.

What we gotta do is grab the
Duke boys and that certificate.

Putting the former
in the hoosegow

and redeeming the
latter for personal gain.

I love that. I love that.

Rosco... the only thing
standing between me

and a $ ,
gold certificate...

Is this big fat sandwich
in your little fat mouth.

No! The Duke boys, you dodo.

We gotta find them before
they hightail it out of town..

And cash that
certificate themselves.

Stay here and guard, any body
comes in here, show no mercy.

I told him to
put it on the bill.

At this rate, we'll
be in debtor's prison

by the time Miz
Tisdale gets back.

You're going to prison, alright.

Till you're old enough to
be Uncle Jesse's uncle.

- For an illegal exterior horn?
- Or not having a license plate?

Grand theft.

Alright, you two. Where's
that gold certificate?

- What gold certificate?
- As if you didn't know.

I guess we're gonna have
to do it the hard way. Alright.

Y'all realize this happened

because Miz Tisdale
is visiting her mama?

- Watch out.
- Alright, move it out here.

- Alright.
- Get on.

Move it.

Wait a minute,
now wait a minute.

Do you know what you're doing?

Are you kidding?
Didn't I get straight "A's"..

In that correspondence
course in interrogation?

- You did?
- Yeah.

Then what's the lamp for?

In lesson one, it tells
you that a bright light

in the eyes will
break any man's will.

As long as you don't break
something of your own.

Alright, you two.

I'm giving you a last
chance to confess.

Tell me where you got
those gold certificates

that those guys slipped you.

Rosco, we got no idea
what you're talking about.

That's a naughty-naughty.
Now you're not cooperating.

You can't say I didn't
give you a warning.

Alright. Now I'm gonna
get tough. Boss, here.

You guard them while
I go get something.

- Where you going?
- I'll be right back.

Alright. Don't move, now.

He'll be right back.

Now y'all watch real close.

First off, a gold
certificate falls out.

Then, Cooter drops his mail.

You all know what's
gonna happen, don't you?

It's happening.

Cooter figures the gold
certificate letter is his mail.

I've done that, ain't you?

Alright, I want you
to leave the room

'cause I don't
want you to see me

giving them the second degree.

That's the third
degree, isn't it?

The second degree
is faster, you see.

Oh, I'm going, I'm going.

Now then, see..

You think you're
messing with a kid?

I'm gonna turn off these lights.

Now, we'll just see.

Next, we'll plug
it right in there.

There you are. Now, then.

Now, then we'll see.

Now!

This light will not
move until you confess.

Alright, Rosco... tell me

Where was that certificate
supposedly stolen from?

The Colonial City Trust Company.

The guys we brought
into town stole it?

Now we're getting someplace.

Are you gonna tell me where
that gold certificate is, or what?

Like we said before,
we don't know.

You wanna play games? Okay.

We'll play games. You see this?

You want some
of that, don't you?

You won't get any of
that unless you confess.

I hate to break this
to you, I ain't thirsty.

I don't care if you snivel, or
crawl, or beg for a drop of..

Alright. Did they confess, now?

No, but they're on the
breaking point. It's this water.

This is the coup de
grace. This is great.

No! Freeze!

The Duke boys are
getting away! Get them!

You got me by the ears!

Ah! Get away.

Go get them. Get them! Get them!

Stop! Freeze!

Thief!

Thief! Thief!

Come back here!

Thief! Stop that thief!

You, Sheriff?

- Of course, you dipstick.
- You're a thief?

I'll knock you in the...
Cletus, you just... take over.

I'm going in to get a shower
before the fruit flies eat me.

Get your hands
off the strawberry.

Lost Sheep to
Shepherd, come back.

Be quiet.

That's alright.

This is Jesse.

Could you meet us down at
Clear Pond, old still site number ?

I'll be right over as soon
as I finish here with Charlie.

- Rosco!
- What?

Don't tell me you let those
Duke boys get away from you.

- I let the Duke boys get away.
- You told me.

It's just that...

You zip up them
flapping lips of yours.

And listen to me for a change.

- Right.
- Let me think.

We know that gold
certificate had to be in that cab.

But the Duke boys
didn't have it on them

when we interrogated
them. You know why?

Unzip.

They chewed it up or swallowed
it to get rid of the evidence.

Zip! No, you lame-brain.
It's because they stashed it.

The question is, where?

Where? Where?

That's it! Why
didn't I think of it?

They stashed it in their
cab. You know why?

- Unzip.
- No.

Because they didn't wanna
have it on their person, that's why.

Alright, listen. I want
you to get hold of Cletus..

And you take that cab
over to the police garage

and start stripping it.

But Boss..

Isn't the police
garage a little public?

- I mean stripping that cab.
- Oh.

Till you find the
gold certificate.

Seems like the
cab's out on call.

Maybe that Cooter dude
could help us locate them.

Appears to me you
boys got yourselves..

A bobcat by the
whiskers at feeding time.

We're just gonna have
to figure out some way..

To clear yourselves.

The only way is to get hold of
them two before they leave town.

And get them to confess
and clear ourselves.

And get them to turn
over that gold certificate.

How're you gonna do that?

We ain't quite got
that worked out yet.

I hope you're thinking, Luke.

Now, ain't that a nice
way to solve problems?

That's why our folks in
Hazzard stay so healthy.

Hey, buddy.

Hey, you all. Sorry, she
ain't quite ready yet...

I wonder if you can help
us, we're looking for the cab.

It ain't at the hack stand.

The only cab in
town got impounded

a while ago by Sheriff Rosco.

Except the back seat, which
is at Uncle Charlie's Upholstery.

Come to think
of it, good buddy..

Our back seat here
could use a little fixing.

Where could we find
this Uncle Charlie?

Can't miss it, right
across the square.

Up the alley, there it'll be.

- Thank you, we appreciate it.
- Thanks a lot, buddy.

Y'all take it easy.

Alright, alright, alright!
What you got, dodo?

I'll tell you what I
got. A pain in my back.

Excuse me, Cletus. I was
talking to your superior dodo.

Yes, sir.

Listen, Boss. That gold
certificate is not in that cab.

- It ain't?
- No.

- Are you sure?
- I'd stake my reputation on it.

Well, that don't
impress me none.

You searched every
itty-bitty part of this here cab?

I searched every itty-bitty
part of it. It ain't in there.

- Maybe it's in the back seat.
- Didn't you look there?

- It's not there.
- It ain't?

- It's over at Cooter's garage.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Then that's where
they stashed it.

Come on. We gotta get
our hands on that back seat

before Cooter gets his
hands on the certificate.

Boss, what are we
gonna do about the cab?

Put it back together
again the way it was.

Put it back together
the way it was.

Okay, when we get into
town, take that side street

and park behind the church.

- Alright.
- We'll get to Cooter's on foot.

Don't do nothing to rouse
Cooter's suspicion, act casual.

Listen, "Casual"
is my middle name.

Wipe the grease off
your face, will you?

Not on my..

Alright, Cooter.

Cooter, listen. Now,
where is that cab's back seat

that was standing in there but
ain't standing in there no more.

Why you wanna know?

What Rosco means
is... that seat is due

for its annual
vehicular inspection.

- Yeah.
- So where is it?

You wanna inspect that seat?

It's at Uncle
Charlie's upholstery.

Uncle Charlie's
Upholstery! Give me that!

Come on, let's go!

Now, just in case y'all forgot..

That $ , gold certificate..

Is in that brown envelope.

Hey, Cooter!

Hey, y'all. What's the deal?

You seen the guys we
gave a ride in the cab?

They were just here, they
went over to Uncle Charlie's.

What business do
they have there?

When I told them I took the
back seat of the cab over there.

They said their back
seat needed work too.

Looked alright to me.

- The seats were alright?
- Yeah.

Remember when Rosco
ordered him out of the cab?

They must've stashed that
certificate in the back seat!

- Gold certificate?
- Thanks a lot, Cooter.

Yeah, sure, anytime.

Friends, we have just
seen a perfect failure

to communicate.

If they'd just told Cooter that

the gold certificate
was in the envelope.

Old Charlie knows what's
happening but he ain't talking.

I got it, here it is.

Get down there.

Oh, Careful! Will
you be careful. Quiet!

I know, but I don't want
Uncle Charlie to hear.

This place is a mess.

Alright, we'll give
him a citation later.

Now we gotta find
that back seat cushion.

Would you be
careful! Wait a minute.

- Here it is, isn't it?
- What?

No, that ain't it.
That could be..

Oh, hide! Hide.

Check over there.

Hey, Luke, ain't this it?

Yeah.

Sure looks like it.

- Rosco.
- What?

- You hear that?
- I heard that.

They got the certificate.

- Go on, go on!
- What?

- Get them!
- Freeze!

Freeze, everybody freeze.

- Don't anybody move!
- Where are they?

There they are. Let me
out! Where'd they went?

- Freeze.
- Come on!

This way.

Freeze!

What're you doing there?

Well, it looks like things
are fixing to come to a head.

- Alright, come on, let's go!
- We'll take care of you later.

Move it! Go get them!

Hazzard sure is
tough on strangers

till they get the hang of it.

Rosco, go! Come on,
we need to get out of here!

Come on, get in there!
Come get in the car.

We got them, Boss.
This time, we got them!

Yeah, you bet!

Those kids must have that
gold certificate. It sure ain't here.

Then we'll pick up our
car and go get them.

- That fellow named...
- Cooter.

He just might know
where they live. Come on.

I bet when Charlie
finally gets home

the grids are gonna be cold
and old Bertha won't believe him.

Alright, Rosco, get
Cletus out here, will you?

Okay.

Oh! Watch it!

Just drive, I'll do this.

Just, go on.

Cletus.

Where are you?

I'm here, Cousin Boss.

Where are you, Cletus?

Cletus, come in!

Come in, where are you, anyhow?

Yes sir, Cousin Boss.

- I'm here, you there?
- No, no, no.

Here is here.

Not there and I want you here.

So you'll leave
there and head here.

That's west on Slumber Lane.

- Okay.
- You say "Over and out."

I'm going to!

Over and out.

You know, they're
still in hot pursuit.

Let's cool them off some.

You got it!

Hang on.

- We'll make it!
- No, you won't! Don't do that!

You'd think they'd learn.

Yeah, they'd tried
jumping it enough.

Give me your hand.

I appreciate that.

They look like they're alright.

Let's put some
distance in between us.

You got it!

What're we gonna do? I
ain't good at swimming.

I'll tell you what
you're gonna do.

You're gonna get on the
CB... get a hold of Cletus..

And tell him to get a patrol
car out here right away!

And then... I'm gonna show
you how we're gonna get ashore.

Without you swimming a stroke.

And..

Without me getting wet.

- Now go do it.
- I appreciate that.

Don't mention it. Go ahead.

Cletus..

Boss Hogg and I
are down here on..

Frog Lake Pond,
we're a little moist..

Would you hurry on down here?

Is that a - ? Come on.

Frog Lake Pond.
Right, I'm going.

Alright, that'll be
$ , $ , here's $ ..

And $ .

I sure appreciate it.

Thank you. By the way..

Those two young cab drivers,
do you know where to find them?

The Duke boys? Anywhere
between here and Chicasaw County.

Anything I can do for you?

We left a letter in the
back seat of the cab

and they might have found it.

You know, that might've
got mixed up with my mail.

In which case, it's in the
mailbox and in the post office.

- Thank you.
- Y'all take it easy here.

Thanks a lot.

With that letter in the post
office, we are in Fat City!

Maybe we ought to call home
and alert them that it's on the way.

- Yeah, why don't you do that?
- Alright.

Alright, Rosco.

- I'm sinking!
- No, watch where you're going.

There, there. I told you.

- Boss?
- Yeah?

I thought you said I
wasn't gonna get wet.

I told you I was gonna get us
ashore without you swimming.

And without me getting wet!

Well, you didn't
mention the mud.

A little mud never
hurt a grown man.

Luke, you got that
look in your eyes again.

Bo, listen.

Them two dudes, Boss and
Rosco are all chasing us, right?

Yeah.

Okay, that means one thing.

That they think we
got the gold certificate.

Which we ain't got.

Which means it's still in
the back seat of that cab!

You got it!

This here is Lost Sheep
calling Crazy C, come back.

Crazy Cooter coming
back at you, come on, Luke.

We think there might be
something of special interest

hidden in the back seat.
Can you check it out?

If you're referring
to that letter

I'll tell you what I told
them two dudes. I mailed it.

Thanks a lot, Crazy.

What is it?

- You're a mess.
- I know that.

- Go wash up in the lake.
- Watch my car.

Come on, let's take his.

There they are, it's the Dukes!

Come on, let's go after them.

And if you lose them and
that gold certificate this time.

Your fat sister is
gonna be needing

a black dress for your funeral.

Oh, well, black's
pretty on fat people.

Yeah, come on! Come on!

Did you say "watch the
car" or "wash the car"?

Ain't no point.

He ain't got no soap.

Bye-bye.

My wife says the cops have
got the house under surveillance.

What're we gonna go now?

I'll tell you what
we're gonna do now.

We're gonna get that letter
back from the post office.

Meanwhile, Jesse came by
the post office to relieve Daisy

so she could deliver the
day's mail to the main branch

in Colonial City.

That little lady that
just came in here...

You're gonna have
to take a number

and show me some identification.

What can I do for you?

The little lady who just came
in here, where did she go?

She took the mail
up to Colonial City.

Does it every afternoon, : .

- Where's Colonial...
- Just three miles up.

The Highway here and
then to the top of the hill.

Now, Jesse couldn't
help being curious.

If them boys wanted
to mail something

that's what Uncle
Sam's paying him for.

Ain't that kind
of hard on tires?

- I'd say so.
- Is Daisy still here?

No, she took the mail
sack up to Colonial City.

There weren't two
strangers here, where they?

Yeah, just here. They
left looking for Daisy.

Are they the fellas who
got you into this mess?

Yeah.

Daisy could be in trouble then.

- Not if we get to her first.
- You reckon I should go along?

It's alright, we'll
keep in touch.

Well, then..

- Rosco.
- What?

You're letting them
get too far ahead.

Not really. See, it's sort
of a secret plan of mine.

I'm sort of luring
those criminals

into a false sense of security.

- Come on, let's go!
- Oh!

I hope Daisy's in range.

This is Lost Sheep calling
Country Cousin, come back.

Country Cousin here.

If that's you Luke, I
can't hardly hear you.

Okay.

- Daisy, you read me?
- Affirmative.

I think you're in danger, there
are two slickers on your tail.

No, they ain't
Luke, they're here.

Get out.

You know, I just
hate the thought of

sweet Daisy being in danger.

Harry Ray, you pick
up that mail sack.

That's a federal offence, sir.

What're we gonna do about her?

We take her with us, in case
someone decides to play hero.

Right over there,
get in the middle.

Come on, let's go, get right
in there. We'll get real cozy.

Daisy, you read me?

You don't think they
hurt her, do you?

She can handle
herself, can't she?

Hope so.

A fork in the road.

And somebody's got
to decide something.

Where does that
road lead to, little lady?

- That's Shoveltown.
- Shoveltown, okay.

Few miles out of Shoveltown
and we are across the state line.

I'll tell you one thing..

Them boys ain't never
been to Shoveltown.

They must have her
with them. Come on.

Get out of the way!

Watch it!

- I scuffed my vehicle again.
- Yeah, isn't that something?

- I'll just put it down.
- Yeah.

Put it down.

- Get it down.
- It won't stay down.

Well, it will if you put
a dead weight on it.

- What dead weight?
- Get on it!

No!

Boss, wait, what are
you gonna do there?

Boss, wait a minute now,
Boss. Let's think about this.

Listen to me first. Boss!

Boss!

Is this really necessary?

They ain't crazy enough to
head back to Colonial City.

Must mean they're
headed toward Shoveltown.

If we cut across Grover's
Gulch, we can pick up some time.

You got it.

What kind of a place is
this Shoveltown, little lady?

Ain't no kind of place.

It's an old deserted
mining town.

Good. No law to slow us down.

- You look great up there.
- You're gonna scuff me.

Old Boss ain't lost his touch
from driving moonshine.

Move, I can't see nothing.
Will you move your head?

- Slow down just a little!
- Just hold on tight.

You'll be okay.

Hang on!

Boss! You gotta stop.

Rosco, even as a dead
weight you're a total loss.

Now get back on that hood,
we're heading for Shoveltown.

Boss, it's those sudden
stops that scuff me.

Watch it, will you? I
can't get on there again.

Slow it down, now.

Now as you can see
business in Shoveltown

has fallen off
something terrible.

Now we know what
happened to Daisy.

Yeah, looks like
she's alright though.

You reckon they'll
use them g*ns?

Stealing bonds is one thing

but sh**ting at people
is something else. I hope.

- You ready?
- Let's go.

Look out!

Sorry I asked, Cousin.

Listen, if you don't ask, you're
never gonna learn nothing.

They ain't sh**ting back.

They're scared
of hitting the girl.

The question is..

How're we gonna
get over to Daisy?

I think the question's more

how is she gonna get
back to us? Come on.

We can't stay here
forever, good buddy.

- Cover me, I'll check around.
- Where're you going?

To find me another spot, so I
can get a better shot at them.

Oh, no, you stay right here!

Yeah, right here.

If there's some way I could draw
their attention away from Daisy.

Got an idea.

Oh, no.

Get her!

Come on, Bo.

- Boss! You're going too fast!
- Hang on!

Let's get to the barn!

If I can lay this there
close enough to stun them

we can get that mail back.

Fire away, cuz.

Move it!

- Call the Colonial City police.
- Okay.

Breaker, Breaker.

Colonial City Sheriff's
Department, you read me?

- Luke, we gotta get in there.
- sh**t.

You feeling strong, Cousin?

Yeah, let's go.

Where did they go?

- Wait till they ain't looking.
- Alright.

Go!

Where did they go?

Do you see them?

Where are they?

Go.

I'm serious now!

Freeze!

Alright, freeze!

Boss! You cut that out,
that's a federal offence.

- What're you doing?
- What do you mean?

I'm just checking to make sure

nobody's cheating
on their postage.

Boss!

There it is!

There it is, the
gold certificate!

Oh, look at it!

It's a good thing them
Colonial City police

that Daisy called
showed up when they did.

Otherwise, Boss
would've ended up

with that $ ,
gold certificate.

There's another one and
another and that ought to do it!

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

And since the meter
of Miz Tisdale's cab

was set in motion
while Boss had it..

He had to make good on the fare.

It would've been
cheaper to buy it.

So if y'all ever get a letter
with a Hazzard postmark..

There's no telling what
that letter went through..

To get to you.